#ok i'm going to bed now hfhkhfgdsk

[littleoddwriter]

heyday just got my period sucks super bad haha so my comfort character now has to suffer- could i get transzsasz on his period?

Agony | Roman Sionis & Victor Zsasz

Hey! I hadn't planned on writing any more today, but then I got your request and I couldn't leave you alone in your times of need. I hope you'll be okay and that perhaps this fic can help you through the worst of it. You've got this, mate. <3

summary; Zsasz is on his shark week and in a lot of pain. Surprisingly, Roman is trying his best to help him, eventually.

notes; TW // Periods; Period Cramps; Gender Dysphoria; Feelings of Agony; Intrusive Thoughts; Mentioned Self-Harm/Self-Mutilation. Hurt/Comfort in a way; Domestic (in the end); Trans!Victor Zsasz.

It was that time of the month for Zsasz, and he couldn’t have been closer to taking his favourite knife and driving it into his abdomen to relieve himself.

Not only were the cramps worse than usual – or at least seemed that way – but he felt extremely dysphoric and was so fucking irritated.

He had almost snapped at Roman multiple times this morning. Luckily, he’s been able to catch himself every time still, but he didn’t know how much longer he could do that. It wasn’t his boss’s fault that he was in so much pain and he was supposed to protect and support him, not yell at him. That was Roman’s duty to do with everyone below him; which was everyone.

Wasn’t it just so fucking ironic that he was in so much pain that he could hardly bear it, though? He loved pain, craved it even. He fucking cut himself almost every day after freeing someone, so that it barely hurt anymore at all. But the pain that came with… it… was just so much fucking worse than any wound could ever be. It was pure agony, really.

Internally, he was screaming, wanting it to stop so badly. He didn’t want this shit, didn’t fucking need it. This part of his bodily functions was so useless to him, and he wished his body would have gotten the memo by now and work with him, instead of against.

No such luck, though.

Victor was hunched over, where he’s been standing next to Roman, who’s been talking with some business guy for the past hour. It wasn’t too noticeable that he was bent over a little more than usual, since his posture was always bad like that anyway. He just hoped his expression was as blank as usual, too, because he really didn’t feel like it. He could even feel sweat bead on his forehead.

He’s been so lost in his agonised thoughts that he’s startled a little, when all of a sudden Roman was right in his face, looking him over, searching for something in his expression.

Normally, he’d love having Roman so close, his attention only on him, but right now, he was so close to ripping his head off, if he so much as dared to say the wrong thing.

“What’s wrong with you, Victor?” Sionis asked, sounding – concerned? Was that what his concern sounded like? Zsasz couldn’t possibly tell.

“Nothing, boss. ‘M fine,” he muttered, albeit his voice sounded more strained than he’d have liked. Stupid voice, always betrayed him at the worst times.

Roman looked unimpressed. “You know I always need you at your best, Mr. Zsasz, don’t you? And I can’t shake the feeling that today you certainly are not at your best. Am I wrong?”

“I’m fine, boss. I swear, I’m ready to protect you, no matter what,” Victor lied through his teeth. He wouldn’t dare to admit that, no, Roman wasn’t wrong – He really wasn’t at his best today. Stupid bloody time of the month that no one fucking needed, he thought.

“I really don’t like being lied to. Especially not by my most trusted man. So I’ll ask again. And this time you’d better tell me the fucking truth, ‘kay? Are you at your best today, and if not, what’s wrong with you?”

Victor swallowed thickly, his mind running wild with possible answers that sounded true enough that he might get away with them. On another note, Roman knew Zsasz was trans. And they shared the penthouse, which meant that he’d know what was wrong with him that day sooner or later anyway. Stupid sanitary protection.

Sighing deeply, Victor relented; he didn’t want to lie to Roman, not unless he really had to for his safety, “It’s that time of the month for me, right now. So, you know. I’m in pain, is all.”

“What do you mean ‘that time of the month’?” Roman asked, so genuinely that Zsasz almost laughed in his face. Fuck, he was so uneducated in some areas, but Victor couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t the most educated person, either.

“I’m on my period, boss,” Zsasz dead-panned.

Realisation hit Roman like a truck, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead, understanding overcoming him in shock, and then he looked so mortified and disgusted that it amused Victor a little.

“Ew, Zsasz! Fuck…” Sionis shoved him a little in reaction. Not good.

A shock-wave of pain overcame Victor as his muscles contracted in the most agonising way possible and he felt himself leaking – fuck, it was so disgusting. He doubled over, holding his middle, and groaned. He was so lucky they’d been alone then.

“Fuck, shit, Victor! What the fuck!” Roman exclaimed, taking a step back. “C’mon, you must've felt worse pain in your life. I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”

Zsasz glared at his boss from where he was bent over still, breathing deeply, trying to calm himself. Roman just lifted his hands in a placating manner, looking only a little apologetic.

“Fine, maybe it is that bad. What can I do to help you?”

“You don’t have to do anything, boss. Not your job.”

“I’m aware of that, thank you very much for that observation, Victor," Roman replied sarcastically - he was such a bitch - but then his voice softened a little, "I’m offering you my help, so you’d better take me up on that, ‘kay?”

“Fine. Some pain-killers and a heat pad or some shit like that usually does the trick. Then I’d just have to find a position that doesn’t have me screaming in agony.”

“’Kay. I can do that,” Roman nodded. Then he stopped short, looking at Victor curiously – unsure, “Uh- Should I help you upstairs first?”

He was really trying, wasn’t he? It was kind of cute if Zsasz was to be honest.

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

Victor finally stood more up-right again, most of the sudden up-tick on the pain scale having gone back down again, and started going towards the stairway to the penthouse. Sionis was right behind him and Zsasz could feel his eyes boring into his back, a shiver running down his spine in response.

A little while later, the pain-killers Roman’s gotten him had started to take effect, easing some of the agonising cramps. In addition, he was holding a hot-water bag, which was covered in orange fuzz, against his abdomen. The best position he’s found was lying on his back on the chaise longue with his legs elevated, which was achieved by having them positioned on Roman’s thighs, who kept stroking Victor’s own in a soothing pattern.

It was disgustingly domestic, but exactly what he needed. Maybe Roman would be willing to go out on a limb for him every time he was struck by his body’s disastrous nature. More likely, he was going to ignore this has ever happened and never do it again for him, though.

Both were fine outcomes for Victor, really. He was content with the way it was at this moment.