#ohno im falling for him D:

[lesoleilxjulien]

topic: being with julien.

also- something i realized like briefly just yesterday when i was looking through my bookmarks and i stumbled on that artist you send me a few weeks ago? yeah i realized julien is going to be jerome's first like in a male aspect. because he never had the chance to do anything with a guy ( like i mused about something that he tried a few months after he broke up with marie and before leaving for seoul with someone he knew but that didnt work out at all because he ended up crying seeing as the wound was too fresh. i dont know if thats canon yet but im musing if it fits jeromes character and after that he just went with women because his mindset was "replace marie with bodies" and it just never happened ) so i'm just. huh. isn't that something.

Also omg. Granted Jerome isn't the first male Julien has been intimate with, Jerome is definitely the first he's in a relationship with. But there's a lot of firsts too and they take it slow but go at their own pace and when it gets too emotionally intense for Jules or too physically intense for Jerome they take a moment to calm;;; or even that one time that Julien prob asks if Jerome wants to try it with Julien topping /just/ to see if it's something he's interested in

i honestly had just realized that and was just /oh./ but jesus their first time. so eager but jerome knows he's not that physically familiar with the situation so he stumbles sometimes and its cute (big bad jerome stumbling during sex? literally no one would believe julien. like when he's drunk he has AN EXCUSE but sober- oh. its so cute and julien laughs breathily but not for long bc jerome learns quickly) and he's very zoned in on juliens vocal and physical cues because /am i doing it correctly is he enjoying it/ which is SELFLESS and oh the both of them are feeling things out and because their first go to position is julien ontop of jerome the more expierenced one can take the lead at first whilst the more emotional experienced one can just mumble against his skin and drown him a bit in affection. but ohno the loud breathing and the gentle kisses (in contrast of the tad too passionate kisses they were sharing just moments ago) as they're in their calm moments;;; SO GENTLE AND CALM jerome's fingers brush along juliens spine- other hand resting on his hip- juliens hands are on his chest- they're breathing against each others lips- jerome is still inside of him- they don't say anything because they don't have to, they just have to look at each other to know when it's okay to go again- and when it's the time one of them starts moving, slowly and nothing hurried- AND OH. I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THEIR FIRST TIME BC IT HURTS ME SM. LIKE. ITS SO SOFT. oh- but oh my god bottom jerome. look. i've thought about this once or twice. three times. a few times. because i always saw jerome as a bit curious and he trusts julien a lot (which clutches heart) plus its even more something he never experienced before. and though jerome is more of a top because of many variables i can see it and clutches pearls the first time julien asks him i can see it being asked during one of their soft big spoon little spoon moments with julien just pressing kisses to his shoulders and jerome stays silent for a moment as he thinks about it before he experimentally pushes his hips back and "mhm." he doesn't give a definite answer but ITS IMPLIED. BUT cue it happening and it is so vurnible and jerome's so trusting but you can practically feel him growing nervous when juliens hand moves south (not bc of julien but bc its unfamiliar) but julien is so gentle and caring and "are you sure?" and jerome just whispers back "i love you" before pressing their lips together and he spends most of the prep phase kissing julien because the little noises he makes are embarassing RIP- AND YO IF JULIEN IS JUST DOWN THERE JEROME IS GRABBING ON HIM TO COME BACK UP. which- ok. look. before the clothes would have come off (or in the process of coming off) he'd be all talk and suggestive comments about if julien is going to be able to leave him like he leaves julien afterwards. /IF HE CAN/ but during it HES A MESS. liTERALLY JULIEN HAS TO FLIP HIM OVER TO STOP HIM FROM KISSING HIM. (also random but showers- after a long day and julien is just shampooing jeromes long locks and jerome pretends to get shampoo in his eye and julien is concerned and jerome just takes that oppertunity to sneak an arm his waist before kissing him. AND OK THATS CUTE but CONCEPT. the water is pouring down on both of them and juliens hands are settled nicely on jeromes neck after fingers had been brushing through wet hair as one of jeromes hands are on the wall whilst the other is placed on juliens hip. and its just the sound of water and their breathing in the steamy shower, foreheads resting against each others as they just enjoy this calm little moment together, three syllable words hanging in the air ripriprip ok bye)

omf. tbh and the first time it’s probably in LA after julien shows up and they talk and get their feelings sorted. they’d be in jerome’s hotel room after the show, just kissing a lot and taking their time kissing and exploring. jerome seems to stumble here and there but julien would just let out a breathy chuckle before kissing jerome again and showing him the way. they both pay close attention to the other to make sure they’re enjoying it; while jerome is keeping alert on julien’s reactions, julien is focused on making sure jerome is okay and he encourages him. they spend almost all night touching and kissing and moving with each other while enjoying the feel of the other because /this is real, he loves me and i love him;;;;;;/ but it’s seriously the softest. it was jerome’s last concert anyway so he’s technically done and has the weekend leftover in the states and tbh he was just going to go to sf and surprise julien anyway so they end up staying in la the rest of the weekend before flying home. ugh fuck me up with this first time shit. BUT. yes bottom jerome is definitely something i thought about a few times as well. while it doesn’t happen as often, it’s still something that happens from time to time. and when jerome first confesses that he’s never been with a guy before Julien makes a note of that, planning to bring the topic up eventually. But yes they're spooning and Julien's hand is gently rubbing Jerome's arm "if it's not something you're interested in or comfortable with it's okay... I just wanted to see if it's something you'd like to try" Julien murmurs between kisses but when his hips roll back and y e p. Julien would find the noises leaving Jerome to be so cute. He'd take his time and be careful with prepping, kissing Jerome and murmuring words of encouragement. And TBH OK. Jerome teasing and Julien would smirk a little bc he's not going to fall for Jerome's comments. But honestly, it starts with Julien on top of Jerome kissing and taking it slow and when he finally pushes into Jerome after flipping him over, Julien takes a lot of time to kiss Jerome's shoulders while rolling his hips and his hands are wrapped around Jerome's hips. HEAVES. But omg they're taking showers together help ;;;;; it's nice and steamy and warm and especially after a long day they want nothing more than to relax both with the hot water and the kisses. They'd take turns washing up while kissing each other and talking about how much they love and miss each other ughhhh fuck me up