#ohmigosh LOOK AT THEM AAAAAAA

[qoeww]

Oh, aren't the tickets unnecessarily cheap?

Well, turtle bros are working hard these times and they definitely deserve an award (not romantic)

Warning: Nothing

No spoiler from movie

Writing type: Short fic

Author note: Haha the movie haha...༎ຶ‿༎ຶ BTW PLEASE GO AND GİVE A HİGHSCORE AT IMDB WHAT THE SHELL IS 5,4??????

This week was so hard for bros, at some point, all the villains seemed to agree to attack at the same time. You haven't seen the turtle's faces for a week, they even reply to your messages late.

You can't lie, you really missed them. You were in a position to not be angry if they come to your house and break everything again. So thanks for your clever mind (and losing your way home) you just found out that Jupiter Jim's new movie was played in theaters. Brothers always talked about it and made you watch but it was... Eh, it was looking low budget and kinda make you remember Star Trek but if they love it maybe you could put up with an hour or two.

You handed the money in your pocket to the young man who works there and bought 5 tickets.

"Oh, aren't the tickets unnecessarily cheap?" You looked at the boy when you took the change. You weren't even sure if he was really listening to you, his eyes were staring blankly.

"Well, if you want to, you can give more."

"Ok, ok, haha- have a nice day sir!"

You took your phone out of your pocket and called Donnie, the phone rang several times and you heard the voice of the purple turtle.

"Y/N, What happened?" He sounded so tired, normally he wouldn't stretch his words, but now it was too long and difficult for him to even say three words.

"Oh, I was gonna say, prepare with your bros and meet me at the cinema."

"HEY, IS THAT Y/N?"

"Yes, Leon and why Y/N? I don't think some of us can even lift their feet."

"C'moooon, don't be a game breaker. I'm waiting you"

"Y/N-"

Donnie looked in disbelief at the beeping phone on his face.

"Well guys, Y/N is waiting us at the cinema."

A different voice came out of every head that heard this. After some minutes to accept their fate, Raph stood up and stretched.

"Ok, D get the keys and I will carry Leo and Mikey to car. C'mon guys."

You waited 15 minutes in front of the cinema, wow- No one really came here. The charging icon of the phone was red, there was nothing you could do but wait. You started to play with the stone at your feet, threw it forward, and followed it with another kick. As you continued like this, a painful brake sound was heard near his ears. The brothers' car stood before you in all its splendor and with the tired turtles inside.

"Y/N, why are we he-"

"Shhh, Raph silence. TA-TA-TADAM, LOOK!" You pointed at the poster of Jupiter Jim with your hands with a proudful smile

"OHMIGOSH, ISN'T THIS JUPITER JIM'S NEW MOVİE AAAAAAA-"

"I totally forgot about it, damn thanks Y/N!"

"I wrote about it in my program but... I didn't see it, eh."

You watched from behind as all three brothers rushed to the cinema. You missed seeing them.

Feeling the pressure on your shoulder, you turned around and Raph was standing there with the warmest smile on his face. "Hey Y/N, thank you so much."

"LEO DON'T PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE SEAT, I CAN NOT SEE!"

"Shhhh shut up guys, I can't hear!"

"RAPH YOU POURED THE WHOLE POPCORN!"

"OH, I'M SOR-"

"Don't worry guys, I'm here for saving the day." Leo grabbed the katana and shook it in the air.

"NO, LEO PLEASE-"

[abscessedanxiety]

srsly AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i KNOW that like people in generally, i should just proudly be myself and do my own thing in art. my art is my art and that’s the only thing it ever needs to be.

 BUT i just can’t help myself from feeling inferior again and again when i see others doing cool and wonderful art and it looks to me so much better than what my art would ever be. the character designs better and more unique, the techniques better handled and everything just so much more intriguing and amazing and aaaaaaa better in EVERY WAY

and then i feel like worthless garbage. it’s like my brain doesn’t know how to admire and appreciate other people’s works without simultaneously putting myself down and seeing my own works as mundane and boring since they’re so normal and less admirable to myself.

i think one of the main points in this is that i can never see my own art as so special as i see many others’ art. mine are too familiar and sadly depend on my own effort, which often makes them lower quality and makes me bored with them. i can’t feel the same way at my own character designs for example, i can never look at an oc of my own like “OHMIGOSH THAT’S SO COOL I LOVE IT” bc... although i may love some my own ocs and my drawings, it’s not enough to make me actually feel good and confident about them.

every time i get positive feedback on my art, i’m so happy!! it’s the biggest thing that makes me feel like what i do is worthwhile. it’s much harder for me to motivate myself, because i keep blaming myself and i can’t escape my own thoughts and feelings. but when someone tells me they like my art and see it as good and soulful and unique, it feels so good. a person who doesn’t have the same biased viewpoint on my art as i do can perhaps see something i can’t. and that is priceless to me.

i just wish i could hold on to that feeling. but it doesn’t work. i can’t. i don’t see the things i want to see in my art nor can i lie to myself about my own feelings.