#oh ur welcome for alternate l'histoire ending

[danfanciesphil]

j; r; s please!

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

as you didnt pick a fic, i’ll go ahead and choose ummm *spins wheel* l’histoire 

*clears throat* 

The door to classroom nine slams open, startling Mr Lester into silence. He’d been in the middle of an animated monologue about the discovery of penicillin, dressed as Alexander Fleming. 

“M-Mr Howell?” Mr Lester says after a moment. 

Dan, in the doorway, laughs heartily. “Yes, ‘tis I.”

“We’re not scheduled to work together until third period...” 

“Save your breath, Lester,” Dan declares, waltzing into the classroom. His gaze roams over the heads of the Year Nine students, searching for one particular face. “I have realised the error of my ways. I have come to set things right.”

Mr Lester sidles over towards Dan, aiming calm smiles at the students. Once he’s within range of being heard, he drops his voice to a whisper, leans towards Dan and says, “are you drunk or something?” 

“Oh, Phil,” Dan says, loudly, giving him a pitying thump on the shoulder. “Alas, I should have known this would come as a devastating blow. I am, after all, un catch.”

“What’s a devastating blow?” Phil asks, frowning. 

“You and I cannot be,” Dan says, stepping out of Mr Lester’s reach. He’s found the person he’s looking for, and starts weaving through the desks towards them. “For I am fated to love another.” 

“I think I should get John down here...” Phil says, sounding genuinely concerned now. 

Dan flops down onto Jonah’s desk, head propped by his hand, and grins at the student in what he assumes is a dazzling, sensual way. “Hey, you.” 

“Dan! Get off Jonah’s desk, what the hell?”

“Yeah, uh, sir, this is kinda freaky...” Jonah scoots his chair back, eyes wide. 

“Don’t fight it Jonah,” Dan says, swinging his legs around so that he’s facing the fourteen-year-old. “It all makes sense now, doesn’t it? The bickering, the tension between us-”

Jonah aims a panicked look in Mr Lester’s direction. “Sir! Make him stop!” 

The rest of the class titters, chairs squeaking as they all lean to whisper to one another. Phil eases his way through the tables towards Dan, seizing him by the upper arm and pulling him to a standing position. 

“Dan, what the actual hell are you playing at? He’s a student! He’s underage! And you’re dating me!” 

Dan pats Phil’s hand sympathetically. “Not anymore, sweet cheeks.” He yanks himself free, and leaps into Jonah’s lap, making him yelp. “Jonah Frank is my true love. Mon paramour.” 

Fin. 

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

yes!!! for fics: always always @leblonde she’s amazing. my all time fave phanfic writer due to her complex weaving of magic realism and emotion. then @waveydnp for the consistency and pacing of her fics. also @phandomsub for her scintillating smut writing. and recently, after reading the entire catalogue of ao3 user who_la_hoop’s drarry fics, I have been trying to pepper in some more humour into too high !!! she’s a fantastic drarry writer i am floored. 

for original fiction: sarah waters is my all time fave author. ive also been reading a lot of margaret attwood recently, particularly Cat’s Eye, which was brilliant. 

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I love enemies to lovers, which is why im giving that a go, but i also really really love pretend relationship au’s. i used to binge all the ‘pretend marriage’ destiel fics when i was more into supernatural lol. 

thanks!! xxx