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dontcallmecarrie · 3 years ago

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Replying to the commenters of this post [heads up for angst]:

To @kine-iende, who said:

hot damn. if "our" justin was a mom-friend in their home-universe, here people would start questioning if justin was in secret a very motherly scrull or something (and be fine with it ^^). but yeah, love the trope too. was it "for the want of a nail" or "through a mirrorm darkly"? well, contrast and a what could have been would be lovely. feel enabled, whenever you want to write this :)

I am not very familiar with the concept of Skrulls [...iirc, that’s something introduced in Captain Marvel, which I have yet to get around to], but yeah, that tracks. Assuming it’s a thing they know to look for, though, because here Justin’s being themself is the biggest and most obvious way to establish that they are not canon!Justin.

Sure, they’re identical physically, but the moment either Justin opens his mouth, the jig’s up.

As is, not five minutes into this strange hellscape where their oldest rival looked at them with no small amount of disdain in his eyes at first, Justin had already managed to charm their way out of holding and into a very relaxed “we’ll keep an eye on him” Avengers custody.

Well, on paper at least— in reality, most of the team doesn’t really give a damn one way or another, whereas Tony starts out morbidly curious as to just how different NHDD!Justin is to the one he’s used to dealing with, and ends up getting a concentrated dose of All The Feels™ because the moment NHDD!Justin realized this Tony had a metric buttload of undiagnosed-and-constantly-belittled mental health issues and a support system that was equal parts duct tape and caffeine, he went “oh, so this universe is the Hell Timeline, okay, makes sense :) :) :) dammit Ivan you’d better fix this stat”.

In retrospect, Justin’s not sure when exactly the horror show started; if it was the absolute lack of concern or care the Avengers had for their Tony, or the minute they noticed the gauntness in his face. Maybe the tension between Iron Man and Captain America, or the obvious bravado this Tony used– and the fact that none of the others so much as noticed.

All Justin knows is, a version of someone they care about is hurting, hurting badly and has been for a long time now, and that’s more than enough for them to go “oh, okay, mine now”.

For his part, Tony has no idea what the hell’s going on. The non-annoying Justin Hammer who crash-landed an Avengers debrief is...something else, and he’s torn between shock, pleasant surprise, and no small amount of existential angst and jealousy because in the span of a few hours, Tony’s had a brief taste of what some other version of him had for a lifetime, and...

Tony’s not sure how he feels about it. He’s a genius, he can wrap his head around string theory and all that good stuff, but numbers are one thing, having to live with the fact that somewhere out there, a version of him grew up with someone so unfailingly kind and supportive and—Tony can’t think of a better word for it than nurturing— and, in the span of seconds, had been able to call him out on his bullshit and seemed to instinctively push him to be better but not in the demanding way his father or the rest of the world had—

If he thinks about it too long, it makes him want to cry, just a little. Somewhere out there was a Tony who’d been enough for someone, who had never been asked to change himself, who’d been pushed up instead of repeatedly torn down and he didn’t know how to deal.

He’d thought having a non-annoying Justin around would be funny.

This was not, it was goddamn distressing is what it was, because Tony hadn’t even known it was a possibility but now he is acutely aware of the fact that he got stuck with his Justin— the human embodiment of one of those yappy dogs who nipped at people’s heels thinking they were so tough, despite not being able to back it up.

This Justin was, uh, not that. Tony wasn’t sure if he was always like this, or if it was only with him because he shared a face with someone Justin cared about, but... was he always this much of a mom friend? And where’d that granola bar even come from, anyway? Not that he minded, it was a nice change of pace, but really?

...Tony was really going to miss him, once they figured out a way to send him back home.

To the commenter who said:

Stephanie isn’t a canon character, is she? Because if not, NHDD!Justin might be able to pull off a “the birth of my little sister awakened my previously deeply buried parental instincts” to explain his whole… [gestures uselessly].

Technically, she could be, in that Justin Hammer has a sister and nephew in canon [according to the wiki and a deleted scene, apparently]. I chose to make her a younger sibling in NHDD, to really emphasize the ‘reincarnated with shitty memory’ aspect of this AU. Specifically, while it’s never specified, Justin’s past life was...not great, and part of it was the fact that their younger sibling was sick.

With what, they don’t remember anymore, but sick enough that they know health isn’t something to take for granted; sick enough that towards the end, they remember their parents had to choose between paying hospital bills and electricity, remember going to bed hungry because meds were expensive and their next paycheck wasn’t until Friday.

...suffice it is to say, there’s a reason Justin’s so protective of those he cares about, even if his memories faded a bit on the specifics as time went by.

To be fair, canon!Justin also cares for his sister and nephew; it’s just that NHDD!Justin acted more like a third parent than a sibling, once Stephanie was born.

Bear in mind that canon!Justin’s situation is very different than NHDD!Justin’s, because canon!Justin was basically set up to fail from the start as a normal kid who was constantly compared to a child prodigy two years younger than him and terrible parents. While NHDD!Justin’s situation is similar on the surface, the difference is they’re literally a reincarnated OC, with all the baggage that entails.

Maybe, if their second life hadn’t been surrounded by adults with A+ Parenting Skills, 0/10 Do Not Recommend, their issues and traumas from last time wouldn’t have been exacerbated. If they’d been born to a regular family, Justin would’ve been a good kid but nothing special, and their memories of a past life would’ve faded away by the time they hit puberty.

But instead, they were born to the Hammer family, and proceeded to be put through the wringer.

Which is bad enough, and meant they immediately started leaning hard on everything from their past life because these people wouldn’t know good parenting if it bit them on the nose, but...then Justin’s little sister was born, which immediately kick-started every older sibling instinct they’d ever had because last time they’d been responsible for their younger sibling’s health and safety and you can probably see where this is going.

aka yes, some of Justin’s behaviors could arguably be called trauma responses and/or coping mechanisms and it’s something I only realized as I was writing this, and no, this AU was not supposed to be this messed up

Justin’s responsibility, their willingness to deal with shitty parents and do tremendous amounts of emotional labor if it helped anyone they took under their wing? That’s no accident, that’s what happens when a soul has to be the adult, has to step up because nobody else is going to. There’s a reason Justin has so much disdain for Hank Pym and Howard Stark’s immaturity, why they have so little patience for their parents as time goes on; their mental age means the older they get, the more they’re looking at the adults around them and judging them hard.

...ahem. Sorry for getting a bit off-topic, but hey, at least now you know a bit more about what’s going on inside Justin’s head!

And yeah, if he had to bs an explanation for why he’s such a mom friend, Justin’d be more than happy to point to his little sister as an excuse. So long as they know she exists, anyway; if not, he’ll just laugh it off and try to chalk it up to one of the differences between their universes.

edit to remove the stuff that got through my nonexistent brain-to-mouth filter because I was averaging a not-optimal amount of sleep as I got used to my new job

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#Naught replies #replies #thinking aloud

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dontatmethanks · 5 years ago

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Part of your world

A levihan fic (mermaid AU)

AN: Hi guys! Sorry that I took so long with this chapter, it was hard figuring out which way to go with it but I think I like the how it turned out 🥰 lmk what you guys think 💕

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Chapter 5:

Levi watches them from below the observation deck, he eyes the group of kids who are observing him with wide eyed expressions as Hange filled them in with information. From what he can hear she’s telling them about how he got here.

He frowns.

Hange looks back at him and gives him a supportive smile, he pretends to look away.

“Mermyds can actually speak. From what I’ve gathered, Levi must have come from clear waters. His speech is in fluent English.” Hange tells them.

Sasha leans against the railing of the observation deck before calling out to the mer, “Hello mister mermaid, I’m Sasha would you like a treat?”

Levi ignores the girl and picks at his sharp nails.

“Oi! Don’t ignore us you damn guppy!” Eren yells from beside her.

Levi snaps his head towards the teal eyed boy and narrows his glare at him, gills flaring in annoyance.

“Get in here and say that again you bratty human infant!”

Hange sighs, “that’s enough of that, Levi please be civil.”

He just crosses his arms and growls underneath his breath.

Hange let’s the teens introduce themselves to the mermyd who gave them all an indifferent look.

“What happened to your tail?” Armin asks him timidly.

Levi’s glare turns into a sour scowl, the blonde teen flinches at the sight.

“None of your concern.” The mermyd growls and slides into the water, letting only his head bob above the surface.

He looks to Hange and gives her a look that says, ‘I’m done now’ and dives underneath.

“Don’t worry guys, he’ll warm up eventually hehe.” Hange tells them with a nervous laugh

It wouldn’t be an easy feat, but Hange was never one to give up easily.

The next day Hange makes it to work later than usual. Her day had begun a little rough, she overslept past her alarm, accidentally cracked her phone screen and almost got into a car accident when she spilled her cold brew all over the drivers seat.

Yes, today wasn’t one of her best days but it would take a lot more to truly dampen her mood.

Hange makes it to work thirty minutes late, clothes wrinkled and coffee stained, greasy hair pulled up into a haphazard ponytail and her signature wide grin slapped onto her face.

She changes into her wet gear and meets Erwin and Moblit by Sawney and Bean’s enclosure.

“Wonderful of you to join us Hange.” Erwin greets her, raising an eyebrow at her messier than usual hairstyle. Moblit notices and grimaces slightly.

Hange presses her hands together in an apologetic like gesture, “I’m so sorry Erwin I overslept past my alarm.”

“Pulled another all nighter Dr.?” Moblit asks her already knowing the answer.

Hange grins sheepishly.

“That’s alright Hange, the kids just arrived. Yeager, Ackerman and Arlert are with you today, Kirstein and springer are with Mike and Oluo and Reiss and Braus are with Petra and Nanaba.” Erwin fills her in and Hange immediately perks up.

He lifts a hand up before she can speak, “please be careful with them around Levi, I don’t need a lawsuit in my hands.”

Hange grins and throws an arm over the taller mans shoulders.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ll take good care of the kids.”

Erwin just gives her a dead stare and dismisses himself to his office.

Hange goes over her work routine with the kids. She shows them how to punch in and where to report everyday. She shows them goes over all of her patient’s personal diets and assigns one to each teen.

“You guys will rotate between patients under my supervision of course.” Hange tells the teens who are already in their own wergear.

It went like this; for breakfast Armin will be feeding June, the kelpie. Mikasa would be feeding Sawney and Bean, and Eren would be feeding Levi with Hange. For lunch the my rotated to Armin feeding Levi, Mikasa feeding June and Eren feeding Sawney and Bean. And finally for dinner time it rotated to Eren feeding June, Armin feeding Sawney and Bean and Mika’s feeding Levi.

June appreciated Armind efforts in preparing her breakfast, her favorite being a large mixture of wild Krill and chunks of bluefin tuna. She even went as far as to let the shy boy pet her horselike snout. The blonde complied with equal enthusiasm, ocean eyes sparkling in awe as he stroked the water horse.

Sawney and Bean were equally as great fun for the breakfast Mikasa helped prepare for them. Hange showed her how to prepare the squid and octopus for them as well as the correct portion of vitamins that they needed. Bean allowed the girl to rub his snout after he ate, Sawney of course being the shark with the most attitude just thanked her with a dismissive thrash of his tail fin as he retreated from his usual brooding spot.

Levi much was less enthusiastic about having one of the kids prepare and feed him his breakfast, much less it being Eren. He ate his food regardless, all the whole glaring intently at the poor boy who fidgeted nervously where he stood.

“Not so mouthy when you’re in here eh brat?” Levi chided him with a scary glint in his eyes.

Hange rolled her eyes and stood from where she was collecting samples of the water.

“Don’t be scared of him Eren, he only acts like a pufferfish.” Hange reassured the boy while giving Levi a teasing grin.

Levi’s eye twitched.

“You shitty human. If I had those two driftwood looking things you call feet, I would shove one so far up your blowhole you’d be coughing it up for a week.”

That made Hange burst out laughing. She clutched her stomach and wheezed so hard that tears formed in her eyes.

“He-*wheeze*-called it-*wheeze*-a blowhole!”

Eren could barely contain his own laughter, a snort escaped through his nose and the teal eyed teen quickly slapped a hand over his mouth when Levi shot him a murderous glare.

Once hange calmed down she gave Eren and Armin the task of helping Moblit cleaning the filter of Sawney and Bean’s enclosure and as well as cleaning Levi’s enclosure. She had Mikasa help her take the samples to the lab and she showed the girl the ropes around the lab.

“We have water monitors set up in June and Sawney and bean’s enclosures and we’re working on setting one up in Levi’s.” Hange tells her and gestures to the testing kit in front her. “But I always like to be safe so I also lab test the water.”

Mikasa payed close attention as Hange taught her how to set up the kit and test the samples properly. She also showed her the cleanup system and the rules of the lab.

Once it hit two PM it was Armin’s turn to feed Levi his lunch. He was much more timid around the mermyd, fidgeting every time Levi glares at him.

“I’m not going to eat you brat, so stop looking so scared.” Levi tells him sternly as he rips into a juicy sardine. “Your friend though, he might lose a leg or two.”

Armin blinked.

“Oh ah, E-Eren?” He asks.

Levi nods and swallows, “That mollusk has a sly mouth.”

Armin grins a little and chuckles, “He can be a little abrasive sometimes but he usually means well, he is my best friend and all.”

Levi stays silent, eating his lunch in contemplation. He ignores Armin as the teen sits two feet away from him, looking as if he wanted to ask him something. Levi frowns.

Why the hell is he still here?

Levi looks up at the blonde haired boy with a look that said, ‘the hell do you want?’

Armin fidgeted before asking, “W-What was it like for you out there, underneath the ocean I mean?”

Levi paused in mid bite. Why the hell did this kid want to know about his shitty life under the cold depths of the sea? To be honest with himself it wasn’t much living, more like surviving. He didn’t remember much of his early years as a young fry, just some flashes of what he assumed to be his mother holding him while humming some unrecognizable tune. His more prominent memories was when he was forced to be a part of a small pod of other mermyds. He was constantly roughed up by the other members, the treated him like he was an outsider. They made him scavenge and hunt for themselves, and when they would encounter another pod of mermyds, which was rare, they would attack them. And if Levi would refused to take part they would attack him and make him starve to put him in his place. The leader who they called Kenny, taught him most of what he knew about survival in the waters, kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. Soon Levi broke ties with the pod and went solo, but his departure did not go without blood.

Armin was still waiting for him to answer, wringing his hands together in nervousness. Levi squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head softly, bringing his thought back to the present.

“Not as amazing as you’d think, let’s just say I barely survived.” Levi responds to his questions, voice a little scratchy.

Armin digested Levi’s response, his blonde brows furrowing in thought.

“Whoever did that to you,” He says, gesturing towards his injured tail with his chin. “Did they do it on purpose?”

Levi’s eyes glazed over, small fragments of fogged up memories flashed behind them. He couldn’t piece them together entirely, it made his chest ache. He should remember, especially since-

His thoughts halted.

“Where’s Hange?” Levi asks him flatly, mask not faltering. He needed someone he could trust.

That thought made him pause slightly, so he trusted that shitty doctor now?

“Ah she’s assisting Moblit and Eren with the sharks.” Armin tells him, breaking him away from his thoughts once again.

Levi wrinkled his nose when Armin mentioned sharks.

The teen opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Hange who bounded down from the observation deck.

“Sorry I left you guys alone poor Eren got his foot caught in Sawney and Beans filter hehe, he’s just as clumsy as me.” She announces as she approached them.

“It’s okay Dr. Hange,” Armin reassures her, “Mister Levi was well behaved.”

Hange places her hands on her hips and chuckled, “oh-ho, you’ve been upgraded to a higher title know mister Levi sir.” She teases with a mock salute.

The mer rolls his eyes and shoves the empty bucket towards Armin who grabs it and stand up.

“I should probably check on Eren to see if he’s alright.” Armin says to Hange with a small smile. She pats him on the back and nods, “Good idea they’re at the common room near the cafeteria in the main building.”

Once they were alone Hange sets down the bag that she had been holding and plops herself next to it.

“I need to check your vitals and I also will need a blood sample.” She briefs him with a huge grin. Levi ignores the way her grin makes his pulse quicken and narrows his steel colored eyes at her.

“You’re gonna stick me with that thing again aren’t you?”

Hange cringes before nodding, “yea sorry but it will be just as quick as the last time.”

“Let me guess you want me to piss in that cup thing again?”

Hange nods and laughs heartily when Levi’s fave forms into a grumpy pout, gills puffing our at his neck.

“What the hell are you laughing at shitty glasses?” He grinds out as she continues to giggle as she rifles through her bag, pulling out a stethoscope.

“You’re cute when you pout.” It slips out before she can catch herself.

Levi’s eyes widen as his cheeks turn bright pink. Hange snaps her head up to looks at him and she can hardly contain herself when she sees his embarrassed expression.

“C-cute?! The hell are you saying you dumb human, is all that pollution finally gotten inside your stupid head?!”

Hange laughs again and ruffles his dark hair, the mer slaps her hand away in response.

The tips of his ears still burn at what she said to him as she works on him. She takes his temperature and blood pressure after checking heart rate, surprised to find that it was racing slightly.

Levi avoided eye contact, what the hell was this woman doing to him. Every little thing she did, her big ass toothy smiles, cheeky grins and all those annoying ass noises made him feel all weird inside. It made him want her to be around him more than she already was.

He couldnt believe he was saying it but be actually wanted that shitty humans company.

Once hange finished she gathered all of her materials and samples and stood up.

“Oi,” Levi says to her before she headed out, rubbing the arm where she drew blood from. “We’re still reading today right?”

A goofy smile forms on her face, “Of course Levi, after dinner though, I’ll be here all night.” She tells him before winking and heading out of his enclosure.

Dinnertime rolls around at six, and Hange trusted that Mikasa could handle Levi alone for a while because she had to help Mike with a turtle hatching emergency.

Mikasa didn’t mind she did her job and brought the mermyd his dinner. Levi gave the girl a halfhearted thanks before digging into the bucket only surprised to find that not only there was his usual fresh catch of sardines but also a couple of crawfish mixed in as well. He gave Mikasa a questioning look.

“Hange said it was her treat, though you could use some variety in your diet.” The teen mumbles.

Levi huffs and tucks into his food graciously, he could feel the brat’s eyes on him as he ate.

“You have a pretty tail.” She says bluntly.

It catches him off guard and he gives her an incredulous stare.

“..it’s missing a fin, the color also makes it look shittier so I don’t know what you’re referring to as ‘pretty’.”

Levi was never fond of the color of his tail, it was an ugly grey black transition, it made him look scary unlike other mermyds he had seen.

Mikasa shrugs and sits down near the waters edge, crisscrossing her legs.

He eats in silence agiain while Mikasa just stares into the water, deep in her own thoughts.

“I used to be really obsessed with mermyds when I was little, it was something that me and my mother shared together.”

That made the mer sigh internally.

What was it with these kids being so mouthy while he ate, Why couldn’t they just leave him in peace ?!

“ it’s what made me want to pursue a career in the marine biology.” Her tone was flat, robotic almost.

“It’s not ugly, just different and being different makes you pretty.” She continued, eyes shifting look at the mermyd.

That sentence strikes a cord in him, a memory flashes before him. Bubbly giggles and watery smile engrained in them. His chest tightens as he swallows, it was getting hard to breathe.

“It’s just something she would say a lot.” Mikasa finishes before getting up and taking the empty bucket from him and leaves him to his own thoughts.

A few minutes go by while Levi just sits there breathing heavily.

The Memories were flashing quickly now, some broken and foggy and some clear as day. A hot day, cold darks waters, deep red blood swirling into sea space around him. They make the corners of his eyes burn.

Isabelle.

She had said something similar to him once

‘ your tail, it’s different, but that’s what makes it beautiful big bro!’

Isabelle, Farlan....fuck.

These stupid kids reminded him of them so much, the only real family he ever had.

The ones he lost along with his fin.

Fuck.

He was panting now, vision blurring with tears. The ache in his chest spread like a burning fire all over his body. The mer pressed his hands over his face and let out a heart wrenching sob.

He didn’t cry when it happened, he could barely react at the moment as he was being attacked himself. But now it finally hit him, like a boat against coral.

They’re gone and he couldn’t protect them like he promised.

Levi was hyperventilating now, curled into a fetal position as he sobbed uncontrollably unable to contain his emotions.

It all burned through his system.

He grabbed at his hair and screamed in rage and clawed at the ground beneath him as a heavy flow of tears continued to stream down his face.

“Levi, oh my god!”

Her voice made through the cloudy fog that was his head, his breath hitches and he let out a broken whine.

Hange was in her office when she was alerted by Moblit on Levi’s breakdown, he had been observing the live camera feed from the enclosures. Hange literally ran into his enclosure as soon as he told her.

She quickly kneeled by the broken mermyds side.

“Hey, hey Levi what’s happening, are you in pain? Can I touch you?”

At this point Levi didn’t care he just wanted the pain to stop, needed her to help him breathe again. He nodded.

As soon as she placed her hand on his quivering shoulder he let out another hard sob and curled up closer to Hange, sliding his head on her lap and gripping her shirt. His gills struggles to take in air as he choked on his own sobs.

Hanges arms hovered over the poor mermyd, he completely caught her off guard when he actually willingly touched her.

Her heart panged for him.

“It’s okay, it’s alright, I’m here, you’re safe nobody is going to hurt you anymore I promise.” She whispers to him in a soothing voice as she threads one hand into his surprisingly soft hat and the othe rubs his shuddering back.

“Breathe, Levi, remember to breathe in and out, slowly, everything is okay.”

He choking graduates back down to hyperventilating and then eventually slows down into weak shuddering sobs. His arms are now tightly holding on to her waist and his cheek was pressed against her stomach, tears soaking through her fishing shirt while Hange continues to bring him down.

“I c-couldn’t s-save them.” He tells her groggilly once the sobbing stopped but the tears still flowed.

Hange’s brows knit together. “Who?”

“Isabelle, F-Farlan, it’s all my fault.” His voice is raspy from all the sobbing and screaming. “They’re dead and it’s my fault, I-I-” He is cut off by another racking sob that vibrates through his entire body. Hange let’s him ride it out while she rubs his back and combs through his hair with her fingers.

Two minutes pass and the tears begin to slow down.

“Isabelle and Farlan, they were important to you?” Hange asks him quietly.

Levi nods and sniffles against her stomach and squeezed his eyes shut.

“They’re gone, along with my fin, I couldn’t save them.”

Hange sighs softly and rubs the tips of her fingers along the nape of his neck and he shudders.

“It’s not your fault Levi, you were in a too terrible condition to even swim yourself. Please don’t blame yourself, I’m sure you’re friends would understand and know that you did everything you could for them. Judging from how much you cared about them I’m sure they knew and if they could they would tell you that it’s okay, you’re alive. You survived and you’ll make them very proud by keeping their memories and the ones you shared with them alive with you.”

There was silence when she finally finished and she was worried that she may have said something wrong until Levi gripped her harder and completely let go of everything else that was left inside him.

He shuddered, quivered and shook, fresh hat tears poured from his normally steely eyes, leaving a river like stream in their wake. Hange held him as he sobbed, her heart squeezing uncontrollably at the sound of his low whines. She didn’t know why it hurt her so much to see the mermyd so broken like this. It almost made her angry as the feeling of wanting to protect him from everything came over herself.

They stayed like that for almost an hour until Levi was exhausted and was slipping in and out of consciousness.

The sun had already set and the cold night air blew softly against them.

Hange didn’t care, she continued to stroke his hair.

She made a promise to take care of him, and here she was doing just that and so much more.

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AN: HOLY FUCK! I actually teamed up while writing the last part 😭 maybe because I wrote it at three AM in the morning lmaooo. I really want Levi to have an emotional scene with Eren later on but for now he can be a little shit (*eren cackles in the distance*)

Anyways thank you so much for reading ily 💓 see you in the next chap!

#POYW

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sick-raven · 5 years ago

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Ghosts of the Past - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 + warnings

AO3

Previous chapter

AN: This is the porn chapter.

Chapter 5

When Miranda dressed up, she wondered whether she is really this easy. Guy drugs you once or twice, calls you a bitch, gives you flowers, and you are ready to sit with him and hope for… what exactly?

What’s your point, Miranda?

Fun. She hoped for a little fun in her stupid dull life. She might be dead in few months, she can at least enjoy herself. And if it’s fun with handsome man, who can blame her? Psychotic? Please, she was worse than him. Using her? Yes, so was she.

No blame to pass. Almost sane and almost moral.

Scratches on her chest have already disappeared, she didn’t go with cleavage anyways. Modest Miranda Bradbury, she had image to uphold. And charm to hide. Leaving it in plain sight could tempt the professor to attack again. She wasn’t risking that.

“Unarmed?” reminded master.

“But ready,” opposed Miranda. Jonathan Crane was nothing without his toxins. She didn’t need a weapon.

Miranda laughed to herself. How do people prepare for dates? They sure don’t count weaponry. They count condoms and money! And here she is, thinking, where should she stab him if he tries to drug her again.

No knives! End of discussion!

Her phone buzzed. Time to go. She felt overdressed when she saw him. He always wears suit, it’s easy for him to fit in.

“Good evening, Miranda.”

“Professor.”

He looked her over but didn’t say anything. “Shall we?”

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Nice place at the town centre, no need to worry.”

She grinned. “Not worried, just curious.”

He held the taxi door open for her. The driver seemed legit. Miranda wasn’t worried, just careful. Almost sane.

But Jonathan Crane didn’t lie. The car stopped in front of nice restaurant she wouldn’t normally go to. Not only was it expensive but also so posh it hurt her eyes after entering.

“Do you come here regularly?” she asked.

“Yes, I did some job for the owner and they treat me with huge discounts.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Not publicly.”

The evening went by fast. They talked about many things – Miranda didn’t realize she has so many hobbies except for killing. Nerd stuff, she would call it. Just nerding and killing, that was Miranda’s jam. Jonathan also surprised her with his interest in old folk tales and poems. He loved to sing. It didn’t fit his serious expression at all.

After food and two glasses of wine she finally asked: “Okay, so what’s your damage?”

He smiled. “You show me yours…”

“Oh, come on, you already know. I kill for money. I am crazy. Next.”

“You never told me how the ghosts started.”

She investigated her wine and played with a glass a little, letting the liquid flow around. “I am way too sober for that. You start.”

Jonathan also drank for that. “To put it simply, my grandma was abusive witch who used fear to control me. I killed her.” Miranda heard anticipation in his voice. She knew the feeling. You let someone see you and you are ready to be judged.

“That’s fucked up. I was only part of suicide pact.”

“I expect you failed.” His interest rose, maybe because he didn’t need to focus on himself anymore.

“Yes, the only one. Hence the ghosts. They blame me for not fulfilling my promise.”

“Interesting.”

“It is, actually. The whole ritual is involved.” She described it and Jonathan listened with open curiosity. “We were supposed to blow this shopping centre that was cover for drug den. And die during it. I just said fuck it and ran. I like my life, no matter how shitty it got.”

“We all need to find our focus,” agreed Jonathan.

“Yours is fear.”

“Which reminds me. Would you like to hear my new theory of how to help you?”

Miranda sighed. “Professor, it’s not worth it.”

“Please, it’s Jonathan. Hear me out.”

She finished her wine and asked for another. Then nodded.

“Thank you. I realize I approached it all wrong.”

“Through your own selfish plans,” she reminded him.

“Yes, that too. However, my plan did involve you awakening and overcoming your fear. Unfortunately, you are way too deep in no emotions land.”

“Poetic.”

“Don’t patronize me,” he smirked. “So, I figured, you need to awake all your emotions. Not just fear. I brought you something.” He put bottle of pills on the table. “These make normal people oversensitive. It overloads your nervous system, makes you twice as sensitive to any perception. I think this might help you get your emotions back partially. It’s my own formula.”

She stared him entertained. He gave back confused look.

“Are you giving me aphrodisiacs?”

Now he blinked surprised. He examined the bottle, frowned and then scoffed amused.

“You are correct, yes.”

Miranda took the bottle and shrugged. “I might test it later. Thank you, Jonathan.”

“Do not thank me. Save it when there are results.”

Miranda shook her head. “No, I don’t know what end you are following, but you wouldn’t have to pay attention to me. Neither try to help me.”

“Let’s say I like challenges and I am intrigued.”

“Are you also ready to lose?”

“I don’t accept failure.” He finished his wine. “Do you know where you can find even better alcohol?”

“Where?”

“My place.”

“I actually do know that,” she smiled mischievously.

“Did you snoop around my bar, Miranda?”

“I might have.”

“Then I have nothing to surprise you with.”

***

Jonathan didn’t lie, the alcohol was really good. Another trivia around mysterious professor. He wasn’t into low-quality stuff. Meanwhile Miranda didn’t mind drinking basically clear alcohol. She was able to appreciate fine tastes though.

Their conversation continued and they successfully avoided talking about their problems. Miranda appreciated that. Her life turned around ghosts. She was happy talking about anything else.

“No, really! From all the cities I like Gotham the most. It wakes up my inner Shelley,” she laughed.

“Percy or Mary?”

“Both, but I would probably be the one hiding the organs of my husband.”

The clock was showing almost midnight when she stood up. “I should head home. This was fun.”

“I agree,” said Jonathan looking her over. “We should do this again.”

Miranda nodded ready to turn to the door. She stopped in her steps and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Do you wanna fuck?” she asked.

If she surprised him, he didn’t let is show. “Excuse me?”

“You are looking at me like that all evening. Do you wanna fuck me? Because I would.”

Jonathan smiled. “No, sorry.”

“That’s fine. I’m just not used to hoovering around this like teenagers. Still had fun. See ya.”

“Goodbye Miranda.”

She went to hall and was reaching for a coat, when Jonathan forcefully grabbed her from behind and pinned her to a wall. She yelped by surprise. She moved, elbowed him to solar. Punch was big enough to force him to let her go.

She turned, grabbed him by the coat and pressed him against a wardrobe.

“You fuck,” she hissed.

Jonathan raised his hand in front of her face. Little pop and hiss were heard. From bracelet on his wrist a small cloud of toxin sprayed right into her face. Miranda closed her mouth and eyes, avoiding the mist.

When she looked back at him, his smile disappeared.

“Nose filters, you cunt,” she grinned. “I fucking knew it.” She grabbed his hand and hit it two times against the wardrobe. The bracelet broke. Then she threw Jonathan on the floor, he tried to get away, but one rib kick made him fall on his back. He moaned painfully. Miranda stepped on his neck.

“I am speechless,” she said. “If you wanted to die, you should have said so you crazy fucking bastard! What were you thinking? That I am some naïve bitch that will just let you do this? What did you want to do to me, huh?”

He held her leg, couldn’t breathe neither speak.

“Look at you. That’s what you wanted?” Miranda was pissed. She couldn’t explain why. Maybe because she really wanted this to be just innocent fun and let herself forget Jonathan is bonkers. “Look at you, you pathetic…”

She went silent. She noticed and all was clear now. “You sick…” she mumbled. “Really!? After I asked!” she pointed at his obvious hard on.

She stepped off and Jonathan was finally able to breathe. He coughed hard, holding his neck. His clear attire destroyed, hair messy, his smug gone. Miranda walked a little circle like a lion in the cage.

“I get it,” she laughed and squatted next to him. He didn’t break eye contact, still holding his neck. “You are intimidated by me.”

He frowned. Didn’t say anything.

“That’s what you do, huh, Jonathan? You go after naïve, stupid ones. Drug ‘em, fuck ‘em, use your authority to silence them. Tell me, how many students have you forced your dick in, hm? You are happy when they can’t fight you back, right? You wanna choke them while you cum inside them. Well you chose a wrong girl to try this on. Because I won’t have that.”

She stood up and fought need to kick him one more time.

“Scared of having one awake, are you.” Miranda turned to leave. This time she wasn’t afraid he will jump her. She taught him that lesson.

She put her coat on.

“Miranda, stop,” she heard him say. She grinned amused by his bravery. He dares to… “Look at me.” She turned. Jonathan ran fingers through his hair making worse mess than before. Only his looks showed evidence of her self-defence, his expression was back again. As if nothing happened.

“Undress.”

“What did you say?” she snapped.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He sat in his chair, watching her silently.

What the fuck is he thinking! He just did that! Can you believe it, Miranda!? Nobody ever had balls to do something like this to you! He tried to drug you and rape you and now he acts all high and mighty! Kill him. Now! Miranda? Miranda, don’t…

‘Shut up, reason, nobody cares,’ she thought. She threw the coat aside. Dress soon followed despite every sensor in her body telling her not to. Eventually she stood there only the charm on her neck.

“I thought so,” he said and let her guess whether he meant her obedience or scars covering her body. The gunshot wound hasn’t healed properly yet. “Come closer. No, that’s enough.”

Miranda stood two metres away from him. This no contact gave her anticipation. She was still angry but intrigued. Excited even. She will get what she wanted. Fun.

“On your knees,” he demanded, and she followed. She wondered where this will go. How far is he willing to take it? His excitement was still showing even though you wouldn’t read it from his face. She hoped for a night with him, just imagined it differently. Can’t get everything you want, Miranda.

“Look at yourself,” he scoffed awaking her anger again. “Intimidated by you? Don’t make me laugh. You are utterly boring and uninteresting.”

That motherfucking smug bastard…

“Boring even naked. Follows orders like some bitch. I am sure the students are better fucks than you. They are at least after something, so they try. You are just dull idiot who thinks she can throw a punch, so she is scary. No, you are not. You are on par with high school bully. Pathetic.”

Miranda grinded her teeth, face red. She was ready to jump on her feet and finish this once and for all. How dares he? Such humiliation!

“Angry, are we?” he smiled darkly. “There is the door.”

Miranda held her fists tight and didn’t break eye contact.

“Very well,” Jonathan kept smiling, “make me interested.”

Miranda grew uncomfortable. What? How? She tucked her hair behind her ears buying some time. No, being obscene wouldn’t work on him. They took it this far, Miranda won’t ruin the fun by going against the tide. She touched one of her scars instead. It ran along her ribs under her breast. “I have horrible taste in men, you could have noticed. My last boyfriend made me scream all night. The best I’ve ever had. He was also hidden serial killer turned on by stabbing. That I realized later. But he stabbed pretty good,” she smiled while running her fingers along the scar. Slowly moved them over the hip.

“Drunken fight. The lady at the bar took care of me. Licked the blood like a goddess. Not only the blood mind you. I get wet just thinking about her.” She didn’t give him the pleasure of touching any important spots, but she started to feel the need to. Red face stayed, anger left for now.

“And back… my back is horrible to look at. Cult whipping and self-flagellation were often. One guy loved to tear your clothes down and stuck his dick in you while he was torturing you. I told him no but looked forward to every meeting.”

Jonathan didn’t move a muscle. “And that one?”

Right between her breasts. Even now it was obvious stab wound. She caressed it in silence, looking for words. “It is… a sign.” She never thought about it. “That I am alive despite my best efforts not to be.”

“You didn’t do very good job,” he smirked.

“Today I’d beg you different.”

“Interesting,” he commented. “Do you feel proud of being a whore?”

“I feel proud of living as much as my problems allow me. I am sure you understand that, Jonathan.”

“It’s professor to you.”

She fell silent, her body unsure of what it wants. It wanted him, the blood flowed into her private parts making them hot and pulsing with need. But she also wanted to beat him where he sat to a bloody pulp. “Fine, professor,” she said slowly. “What is it then? Am I worthy of your attention?”

Jonathan waited for a minute letting her boil in silence. Judging her, investigating her body thoroughly as if she was some sort of meat on display. Her discomfort rose. Her needs too. ‘Say something,” she thought. ‘Anything! Call me a whore again!’

“I think,” said Jonathan finally and tone of his voice trembled her to the bone, “that if you ask very nicely, I will let you suck my cock.”

Miranda gasped and bit her lip. Showing him her anticipation like that was stupid. She shouldn’t have done that. Now he waited and she couldn’t deliver. Her mind wanted to talk so badly, but the words just wouldn’t come out of her mouth. ‘I have a shame after all,’ she realized amused.

“You want me to beg for goods I can’t even see?”

He kept smiling. The spark in his eyes grew with her defiance. “A bit picky for a concubine.”

“I am worth the money.”

Miranda wasn’t willing to budge, and Jonathan knew that. He didn’t bother with more words. He unzipped his pants and took his penis out. His erection made it stood waiting for action. He didn’t remove any of his clothing. Just a man in a suit with his dick out. Miranda felt her lower body tingle. She wanted this. Shame be damned.

“Please, let me do it,” she said eyes tracing the carpet.

“You aren’t even trying, Miranda.”

Damn his demands. How could she do this with a straight face? She couldn’t even look him in the eyes!

“Please, let me suck your dick.”

“No, I don’t think you want this bad enough.”

Her chest tightened as she rose her head. She had to look so desperate and pathetic and Jonathan loved it the damn bastard. And so did she, as the nervous feeling she didn’t have in years overcame her.

“Please, professor Crane, I want to suck your dick. However long you please. Let me do it.”

Jonathan left her in silence again as if he thought about her plea. As if he calculated whether she really was worth it. She waited for his words like nervous dog that needs to be given a sign to move. He let her shiver on the ground, embarrassed, red and wet.

“Very well,” he said finally acting like he gave up. “Come here. No. Don’t stand up.”

On all four she crawled to him. She stayed on the ground, Jonathan sitting high like some sort of deity. He enjoyed feeling of superiority, his dick twitched in anticipation.

She really wanted to boil him just like he did to her. Let him wait and show him he is not in charge. But he got to her. She couldn’t wait any longer. Miranda was a hungry animal and needed to be satisfied.

She grabbed his penis and steadied it as she licked the shaft from the bottom to the top. Her tongue tasted the saltiness of precum on the head. Jonathan was eyeing her, his breath not so calm anymore. She licked him more, down, up, making his cock wet and slippery. Then finally she took it in one go, all at once. Jonathan gasped and she felt victorious she made him do it. She wanted him to lose it just like she did.

Down and up, whole member in her mouth. Miranda was gasping for air after a while, her throat stiff, but she loved doing this. The taste was so wrong and so right. Saltiness and smell of a man.

Miranda let go for a while to calm her throat, she continued to rub his penis with hands. He was still watching, mouth just slightly open. She smiled happy for getting to him slowly but surely. He will be hers.

Miranda kept licking and sucking, occasional gasp motivated her to go faster and deeper. She wished he grabbed her hair and forced her down, just the thought of the act left her trembling. But he kept his hands on the chair.

“Enough,” Jonathan said after a while. Miranda stopped. “You are pretty good when you have your mouth shut.”

She decided to take it as a compliment. He grabbed her by a chin and made her stand up. Then he led her to sit on his lap. He didn’t go in yet. She rested her hands on his shoulders. “No touching,” he warned her. She grabbed the chair behind him instead putting her breasts close to his face. “That’s better.”

Jonathan slowly ran his hands over her body. He touched the scars first, he was very careful when caressing her collar bone, so he doesn’t awake overprotective charm beast. She shivered when he touched her neck, and she leaned in closer, but his hands slid down to her breast. He playfully pinched her nipples making her moan a bit.

Then his fingers ran lower and found a way to her crotch. Miranda bit her lip again as he slipped in her. “Look at me,” he demanded as he moved his fingers in and out at her clitoris and back in again. She tried, but she couldn’t take the feeling and look of his cold blue eyes. Her sight always wandered somewhere else with each pulse of pleasure.

“At me,” he repeated and turned her head to face him. The sensation was too much. The feeling of him in her made her crazy and his pleased face…

“Fuck me,” she moaned.

“No.”

“Please, just, ah… Professor, please, I beg you.”

“I don’t think I will yet,” he said with a grin. She started to tremble even more, she was so close to finish when he took the hand away.

“No,” she begged. He left her tense, on a brink of orgasm, her pussy pulsing and dripping, wishing to be full of his cock.

He held the wet hand in front of her. No words to be said. She started licking his finger, one after the other tasting herself.

“Good girl, Miranda,” he said softly and her heart jumped on the praise. She sucked his thumb and felt him comforting himself.

She moaned loudly finger still in her mouth as he thrusted in her. She felt him filling her. She supported herself on the chair and began to move on him. In one rhythm, in, out, she wished to scream loudly but he held her mouth shut. It felt wonderful, it was all she needed. So good. So full. So forceful.

He grabbed her hip with the other hand and forced her down even deeper. She moaned again. The hand on her face made her helpless. She wanted to shout be he had control of everything. Fucking her hard. God. Any second now. Any…

Muffled scream of pleasure made him go faster. Her insides started so spasm and she felt everything. Every nerve in her body made her flinch and only Jonathan held her in place. He groaned loudly as he came inside her at the same time.

Still trembling he finally freed her mouth. She couldn’t talk, the adrenaline was running through her, she still felt Jonathan’s dick inside her squirming. She enjoyed the moment with a pleased smile, lightheaded and tired.

Small movement stopped it.

“Hands where I can feel them, Jonathan,” she warned him.

He smirked and grabbed her breasts again.

“Attentive, aren’t you?”

“Just let me have this, you freak.”

He caressed her cheek and then brought her down for a kiss. She tightened in surprise. Strange feeling filled her as they kissed for a moment. Then he let go.

“Get off me.”

“I think your suit is ruined.”

“I will get that cleaned.”

She looked him in the eyes one last time. She let go of the chair and then she slapped him hard.

“That’s for trying to drug me again.” Then she finally stood up, he slid out of her. Her thighs were wet. This was great evening.

He was proper faster than her. He watched her getting dressed without comments. She wanted to say million things, but she better bit her tongue. Not that it would ruin a moment. Just too many words were said today.

“I apologize,” said Jonathan.

“Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”

“You are right. I don’t. I still want to experiment on you.”

“You are freak, Jonathan. I like that. See you around.”

“Don’t forget to take your medicine,” he laughed sincerely.

“Suck it,” she replied and left.

She had dreams of Scarecrow fucking her numb whole night.

Next chapter

#batman #fanfiction #jonathan crane #writing #writeblr #sick raven writing #ghosts of the past

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