#oh no i'm sticking with this one she shares my vibe. mind body and soul for you babe

[avrorean]

So I'm listening to some old Flemeth dialogue while I eat breakfast and in hindsight of who Mythal is as a person, I think it's interesting that there's a consistent form of manipulation from her this whole time. Like as a female warden, she'll hit you with "does your woman's mind give you a different viewpoint? or do you you believe as these boys do?" like the implied expectation of maturity in comparison to the soldiers around her is, in itself, a leading question. The whole thing is already set up as a test, but a test with the hindsight of Mythal's nature adds an interesting layer to it. this thought isn't really going anywhere I just think it's Neat

[buffster]

Doomed (BTVS 4.11)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

Doomed opens exactly where Hush closed--with Buffy and Riley silently staring at each other. There’s a distinct difference in the question they each have for the other: Buffy wants to know who Riley is while Riley wants to know what Buffy is. It’s already obvious that Riley has a job while Buffy has a calling. 

Of course, Buffy already knows much more about the Initiative than Riley knows about the Slayer. She does learn the official name they have for supernatural creatures: HSTs, or Hostile Sub-Terrestrials. Hard to take them seriously with that name. 

Buffy: I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen one? She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You're kidding. In every genera--You know, I really don't feel like doing the routine. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma The.

Amazing that Buffy’s ran into a group less competent than the Watcher’s Council. Buffy isn’t exactly thrilled Riley isn’t the normal guy she thought he was. After Angel, she’s just not looking for drama. Right now she’s looking for “not Angel” more than she’s looking for “new guy”. 

For some reason (the inconvenience of moving him, perhaps?) Spike is continuing to live with Xander. I can see where all the Spander fics launched because they’re definitely arguing pretty bad. I’m assuming Xander’s parents haven't noticed their new house guest or they’d be demanding more rent. Spike is basically useless around the house and Xander demands he step up. Surprisingly, he tries...but ends up shrinking his clothes and having to wear Xander’s. I guess all-powerful vampires don’t have to bother with laundry. 

Xander: No. You're not a guest. You're a vampire and you have no soul and I don't get exactly why we're not making you into Spike-on-a-stick.

Spike: Wish you would, if it's gonna be like this.

(breaks something) Property damage I can do.

Xander: That's it! I am way past through with you. Hate to break it to you, Oh, Impotent One, but you're not the"Big Bad" anymore. You're not even the "Kinda Naughty." You're nothing but a waste of space. My space. And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny, white bum, and as much as I know I could give you a little bum-kicking myself now, I'm here to tell you...you're not even worth it.

Buffy has this habit of keeping her problems bottled up post-Angel. I think the confusion of her friends being traumatized from Angelus plus her still having feelings for him caused her to shut down. And honestly she never goes back to the way she was (I’m referencing her not talking to Giles or Willow about Riley being a commando, here). 

Buffy: I've so got a reason. Pretty darn good one. The last time we had an earthquake, I died.

Giles: Yes. I know that. And therefore completely understand your anxiety.

Buffy: Oh, good. Hate for my little"untimely, horrible death"concern to be ambiguous.

Now that I’m thinking on it, Buffy’s death was brushed under the rug a bit. Thinking she was going to die had to be horribly traumatizing and probably left scars akin to being a survivor of a brutal attack. But BTVS doesn’t have time for PTSD. 

Forrest: Well, the way I got it figured, Slayer's like some kind of Bogeyman for the Sub-Terrestrials. Something they tell their little spawn to get them to eat their vegetables and clean up their slime pits.

I found it a bit weird Riley doesn’t know about the tales of the Slayer while Forrest does. Riley ranks higher than him. Perhaps it’s alluding to his blinders when it comes to what he’s working for? Forrest, on the other hand, has narrowed everything down to black and white thinking: the HSTs are just animals. Riley hasn’t really looked into the Initiative while Forrest has and likes what he’s found just fine.  I feel like I’ve seen this mentioned before, but I’m definitely getting Forrest-has-a-crush-on-Riley vibes. He’s super dismissive of Buffy and extremely jealous anytime Riley worries about her over him. 

Willow decides to head to a party alone in the hopes that Buffy will eventually show. I hated when Willow overheard Percy mocking her. I really wanted to have some faith in humanity and believe the “jock” saw the “nerd”’s value. Willow ends up crying in some random dorm until she realizes she’s next to a dead body.

Buffy: Wow. See, I was kind of unsure about where the party was. And then I saw the flashing red lights and the ambulance, and it's like... oh, right, of course. Carnage. Death. It's a Buffy party.

After some research the gang and the Initiative realize something big is coming. We get to see that both sides have their advantages: Team Buffy has more knowledge of the occult while Team Initiative has convenient gadgets. 

Giles: It’s the end of the world.

Willow: We did this already.

Xander: it is losing its impact a little.

Giles: End of the world. Divisions break down, Hell itself flows into our lives like a sea of fire. Loss,tears and heart-rending pain without end for every human man, woman and child on this earth. Death ten times over. For each of you and everyone you love.

Xander: Hmm. Feeling the impact again.

I love when a television show is able to make fun of itself, so I loved the exchange above. After the world is supposed to end multiple times you stop believing the heroes won’t stop it. 

Buffy and Riley run into each other while on patrol and finally have The Talk.

Buffy: Can't... any of it. Can't be with you. It's a mistake, it's a huge black pit of a mistake and I can't go there again.

Riley: Again? You've dated me before?

Buffy: No. But I've been involved with...you don't know what my life is like.

Riley: And I'm dying to find out!

Buffy: Operative word: dying. There's too much risk -- there's too much... It's just doomed, okay, and I can't do doomed again right now.

Riley: I don't understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it's not like we don't have anything in common.

Buffy: But it's --

Riley: Buffy. I'm thrown by this. I'm confused. But I can feel my skin humming -- my hands, my... every inch of me. I've never been this excited by a girl and I'm not trying to scare you, not gonna force myself on you but I am by God not gonna walk away because I think it might not work. I don't know what's happened in the past --

Buffy: Death. Pain. Apocalypse -- none of them fun. Do you know what the Hellmouth is? Do they have a fancy term for it, 'cause I went to high school on top of it. For three years. We don't have that much in common. This is a job to you.

Riley: It's not just a job --

Buffy: It's an adventure, great, but for me It's destiny. It's something I can't escape, something I can't change. I'm stuck.

Riley: You don't have to be. You're not in high school anymore. You can change things.

Buffy: Riley... No.

Riley: I know it seems like --

Buffy: My answer is no.

Finding out Riley knows about the supernatural upped the intensity of their relationship in a way Buffy just wasn’t ready for. In the back of her mind I think she imagined slaying would stall and eventually end her relationship with him, which made him safe. She didn’t have to worry about going through something real again. But now that they could really fall for each other she’s running scared.

Xander: Is too. For one thing - that's my shirt you're about to dust. And for another - we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you.

Willow: Xander-

Xander: What? He wants to die. I want to help.

Spike attempts suicide (badly). I get they were trying to throw in a comedic moment there, but I don’t know...it feels like Spike hasn’t tried sufficiently hard to get the chip removed to throw in the towel. And I haven’t really seen signs of depression up until this point? I guess it must be difficult to change your lifestyle and not just forcefully take what you want after centuries, though. I’m not going to get into the politics of suicide here because the show kind of toys with what’s okay when it comes to vampires. It’s okay to murder them because they’re just things, so it’s not surprising it’s okay to mock their attempts to kill themselves.

Forrest: I don't know about this girl, man. She's got you whupped something fierce, and you haven't even--

Riley: You'd be wise not to finish that thought, private. Now carry on.

Forrest is gay Forrest is gay Forrest is gay

Riley: You've got this twisted way of looking at things. This -this doom and gloom mentality. You keep thinking like that, things are probably going to turn out just the way you expect.

Buffy: You know, there is nothing more dangerous than a psych grad student. 

Riley: Buffy -- where's the bad here? It just turns out we're even more well matched than we thought we were. I mean, you're a--fry cook. And so am I.

Buffy: Right. But you're an amateur... fry cook and I come from a long line of fry cooks who don't live past twenty-five.

Riley: Which is exactly the attitude I'm talking about! I know the risks of what we do. I also know it's more rewarding than any other job on the planet. And fun-

Buffy: Fun? Right. The last person I knew who believed that is in a coma right now because she had so much "fun" on the job.

Riley: I'm not saying you shouldn't take your work seriously-

Buffy: But just turn my frown upside down, is that it? I wish I could - but this isn't the kind of gig where you hang it up at the end of the day and snuggle with your honey.

Riley: But why? Why can't it be?

Buffy: I've tried it, okay? And every time, things fall apart - and I get sucked right back into the uber evil.

Riley: Welcome to the story of the world! Things fall apart, Buffy. Evil - it comes and goes. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. And, sometimes, they even enjoy themselves. If you weren't so self involved, you'd see that!

Buffy: You don't know what you're talking about. You barely know me. 

Riley: I know that it's not just the job thing. I'm sure there's some good looking guy that done you wrong in there too but mostly I think you want to stay down in the dark place.'Cause maybe it's safer down there.

I’d like to point out that Buffy has picked up Angel’s habit of trying to run off in the middle of things. Or maybe they were just well matched there. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say at this point Riley hadn’t lost anyone on the job. He says he knows the risks like he doesn’t really know, know what I mean? Doesn’t this make you wonder if Riley was on the other side of this conversation with his future-wife post Buffy?

Spike: I should think you'd be glad to greet the end of days. I mean, neither one of you is making much of a go at it. You. Kids your age are going off to University -- you made it as far as the basement. And Red here. You couldn't even keep dog boy happy. I mean, you can take the loser out of high school-

Willow: I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you-

Spike: Am not. I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.

Willow: We are not useless! We - we help people. We fight the forces of evil-

Spike: Buffy fights the forces of evil.You're her groupies. She'd do just as well without you. Better, I'dwager - since she wouldn't have to go about saving your hides all the time.

Xander: That is so not true. We're part ofthe team. She needs us.

Spike: Or - you're just the same 10th grade losers you've always been - and she's too much of a softy to cut you loose.

Man, Spike. Cut right to the heart of things why don’t ya? It makes sense we’re finally acknowledging Willow and Xander’s inferiority complex. It’s been in the background for awhile. We see from Spike’s smirk that he doesn’t really mean the things he says; he’s just trying to cause conflict. But he knows exactly how to do it. 

I’m a big fan of nostalgia so I loved the scene back in Sunnydale High. I read in the script that we see Amy’s mom there but I missed that. I’ll have to look again. During the fight scene Spike learns he can fight demons, which is a great revelation for him that allows him to take out some aggression and feel strong again. Buffy and Riley team up to save the world. 

Riley: Well, hey! Willow. Xander, right? What are the chances, huh? I was just passing by - and I thought I heard people inside-

Willow: You were just passing by...in your GI Joe outfit? 

Buffy: No offense - but you are looking wicked conspicuous.

Riley: I am? But it's... paint ball and then the aftershock and I-

Xander: So you're one of the commando guys, huh?

Buffy, your Faith love is showing. Riley doesn’t recognize Spike (which, really? They really do view them as animals). 

The episode ends with Buffy and Riley kissing. She’s decided to take the leap.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: She is a “Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius” making her birthday January 19. She labels herself (somewhat sarcastically) as passionate, artistic, and inquisitive. When she patrols she gets bored and memorizes things on masoulems like cereal boxes. 

Riley Finn: His code name is “Lilac One”. 

Willow Rosenberg: She’s very bothered by Percy calling her a nerd because she thinks she’s distanced herself from that. She was even dating a guitarist. 

Xander Harris: When they need to leave Sunnydale High, Xander runs to help Spike out because he’s fallen down.