#oh my god would you believe that i have ONLY just gotten to books read in may

[cottonlemonade]

Dating You For A Bet [Part 2]

word count: 1756 || avg. reading time: 8 mins.

pairing: University AU!Matsukawa x chubby!Reader

genre: angst

warnings: bullying

[part 1]

The following days were miserable. Between dodging Matsukawa lurking outside your dorm and having to see him in most of your seminars and lectures it was hard to pretend that you didn’t care, much to the delight of the fellow students who apparently had nothing better to do or collectively lost their WiFi and were starved for entertainment. They threw glances between the two of you as if following a tennis match, although you were stubbornly pretending to follow the lesson while Issei just listlessly stared at his closed book.

He had tried to talk to you after lectures, during lunch, or when he ran into you at the convenience store but to no avail. You remained strong, frequently reminding yourself that everything from your first kiss to the first time sleeping together was solely done to win a bet. A bet! To him, you were nothing more than some easily manipulated, naive girl from a country he probably didn’t even know how to spell. The three crumpled notes from that day were still at the bottom of your trash can, unread, and now buried under more paper scraps, gum wrappers, and empty juice boxes. Your roommate hadn’t noticed or questioned why you didn’t leave in the evenings anymore to go on dates. Chances were that she had read about the whole thing online.

You were tired of it all. The initial burst of energy you felt, fueled by nothing but spite, had finally ebbed away and at this point, Christmas was drawing nearer and nearer and you ran on fumes. Having tried to deep dive into homework and assignments had left you fatigued and vulnerable, so it came to no surprise that a month after the break up you couldn’t take it anymore. You had figured that the other students would eventually move on to the next shiny thing but not so. A small group of boys and girls stood in front of the library with coffee cups steaming in their hands. You braced yourself inwardly. You just wanted to quickly return a book and then you’d be on your way again. When you approached them they interrupted their conversation to very obviously look you up and down as if judging your post-break-up fashion choices.

“I just knew there had to be a reason for him dating her.”, one of them said, deliberately loud enough for you to hear.

“Oh my god, I know right? I can’t believe she fell for it. I mean, what would someone like him ever see in someone like her.”, another piped up.

“Honestly kudos to him, I dunno if I could have gotten it up with her in bed.” They laughed.

You stopped on your way up the stairs. Matsukawa stood in front of you just coming out of the building, a tattered, well-annotated book in hand and his bag half-hearted slung over his shoulder.

The group of friends gasped quietly and hushed each other, waiting.

“Y/n…”, Issei said softly, then snapped at the others, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?!”

They laughed again but hurried inside.

“Y/-“

He couldn’t even finish the word. You had already turned around and walked away. And he would have let you get the space you needed if he didn’t see you cry. Readjusting his bag he slowly made his way down the steps and followed you, a couple of meters behind.

Whenever you missed your family he had tried to bring a bit of home to you with a traditional dish he knew you loved - that he usually messed up - or by watching a Disney movie in your native language while snuggling up on his bed under a blanket. But what had helped you most of all when you were upset was always a simple hug. And he never let go first. He made sure that you knew he would hold you as long as you needed. When you first told him you loved him he was wracked with guilt. He had since come to realize how messed up the whole thing was and tried to get out of it. He lied when his friends asked him if he had completed the bet but his roommate had only patted him on the back and accused him of being modest. And he, Issei, had forced a smile and accepted the money feeling like the most disgusting person in the world. The money still sat untouched in his sock drawer. He didn’t want to use it. He felt ashamed of himself but whenever he spent time with you he was weirdly glad that he agreed to the bet. Otherwise, who knows if he would have walked up to you as he had. Privately, to make himself feel better, he thought, of course he would have.

He would have noticed eventually how amazing you were.

He would have eventually seen how much you two had in common, that in all actuality you were his dream girl.

He would have. Eventually. Wouldn’t he?

Probably not, he had to admit. Ever since puberty hit him like a truck he walked around with a newfound level of confidence. This must have been what it was like for Oikawa back then - girls doing a double take and smiling when they saw him, little admiring love notes tucked quickly into his workbook when he wasn’t looking. All the attention slowly rose to his head and he became arrogant, leading to agreeing to a bet he would have punched his friends for in high school.

Hands in his pockets and breath forming little clouds in front of him, Issei’s heart broke all over again when he caught a small sound from you like a sniffle or a sob. As if on reflex his hand slid into the front of his bag to check for tissues, then remembered you probably wouldn’t accept them.

You finally came to a halt at a bench near your dorm. You spun around and stared at him icily through red puffy eyes.

“Stop following me. You know this is creepy, right?”

“I prefer to see it as romantic.”

You scoffed. “It’s only romantic if feelings are reciprocated.”

He swallowed hard. “… I deserved that.” Then he reached into his bag and retrieved a water bottle, walked a little closer, and held it out.

“Here, drink something. I can see you squinting like you do when you’re about to get a massive headache, come on.”

You had a retort ready to launch but your head was starting to pound from the crying so with a scowl you took it and gulped down a few sips.

“None of this makes what you did okay.”, you said, unwavering.

He nodded. “I know. - Can I hold you anyway? Just til you stop crying.”

His question made new tears well in your eyes and he closed the gap between you. Before he hugged you, he hesitated in case you would kick and scream if he did. When you only continued to cry he wrapped his arms around you. At first, it was like hugging a mannequin. Then he felt you shiver and sob harder and he squeezed you tighter.

This, the warmth of him, smell of him, soothing murmurs in your ear, made it all too easy to forget for a moment why he wasn’t yours anymore.

You subconsciously grabbed onto his jacket and he started slowly swaying from side to side. He missed you so damn much. His eyes began to sting.

And on reflex like he always had, he pressed his lips against your temple, then against your cheek, then your lips. You stiffened for a moment, then returned the kiss. With his heart swelling in his chest, he cupped your cheeks to wipe away the tears, but you were already pushing him away.

“No! You can’t just… this is not okay. You hurt me! You … you broke my heart! I feel embarrassed! And pathetic. And betrayed! Don't you understand?!”

His vision blurred and he lowered his head to stare at your shoes again to hide that he started crying as well. He just nodded at first, then took a shallow breath to calm down a little.

“I know.”, he said, his voice thick and raspy. He cleared his throat, “What I did was horrible. And immature. And there is no way I can take it back. But I do love you.”

“Tch.”

“So much. I don’t want to be without you.”

“Would you give me another chance?”, you asked suddenly.

He looked up. “What?”

“If you were in my shoes. If I did to you what you did to me. Could you just get over that? Imagine if someone way out of your league started flirting with you because they thought it was funny. Because they wanted to see if they could make you fall in love. For fun.”

“That’s not… I’m so so sorry, Y/n.”

“Stop saying that!”

“I don’t know what else to do! Please, tell me, I’ll do anything!”

“There is nothing you can do! I told you it’s over!”

“I refuse to believe that! Let me show you how much I love you! I know that some part of you still loves me, too. And I know you’ll forgive me eventually because you’re a much better person than I am.”

“I think you severely underestimate just how petty I can be and how much I love holding grudges.”, you retorted and the smallest smile twitched on his lips.

There was a pause in which his expression turned gentler again and he used the sleeve of his jacket to mop up the tears gathering on his chin. “Tell me what I can do.”

“Actually show me that you’re sorry? - And find better friends.”

“Done.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”, he said firmly, “You’ll see.”

“Hm hm.”, you said doubtfully and held out the bottle to him, “Thanks for the water. I should get going.”

“Book club tonight, right?”, he asked. It was still set as a permanent reminder in his phone’s calendar so that he’d come to pick you up afterward to walk you to your dorm.

“Actually… I have a date.”

You waited for a moment before you dared to look at him again. His face had fallen and he seemed at a loss for words. When you brushed past him you half expected him to grab your hand again, to try to talk you out of it. But nothing. He stood exactly where you left him and so you went inside.

tags because I genuinely appreciate all your comments and reblogs: @samoankpoper21 @garouaddict @gojoscloset @multi-fandom-fanfic @crazyyanderefangirlfan

[talaok]

A new lesson

Pairing: step-dad!Joel miller x step-daughter!reader

Summary: Your step-dad generously offers to give you another lesson. (this is part of a series but can be read alone)

Warnings: step-incest, manipulation, straight-out lying, hence dub-con, Perv!Joel, predatory behavior, very very naive and innocent reader |Smut| oral sex ( m receiving), face-fucking, dacryphilia, and daddy-kink. And please for the love of god read the warnings and just scroll if you don’t like what you see.

a/n: @thesummerpetrichor I believe we had an agreement…

Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4

He'd been obsessively looking at those photos he'd taken of you yesterday every time he could.

It didn't matter if he was at work, or if his wife was right next to him, he needed to take a look at that pretty pussy of yours or he felt like he was gonna go crazy.

He'd always known that once he got a taste of it, it would never be enough, and yesterday just proved him right.

He was so lost in the picture on his screen that your mom's voice startled him.

"what have you been doing on there for 20 minutes?"

Shit

"nothing" he shrugged, quickly switching apps "Just work stuff"

"you sure?" she raised a brow, smiling "There's not another woman I should be worried about?" she joked

Only your daughter

"never" he forced a grin, leaning closer to her on the couch to kiss her.

"good" she nodded, patting his thigh "I'll go shower more serenely then"

He watched as she stood from the couch, and waited until he heard the water running before he quickly made his way to the only place he'd been wanting to go since he came home: your room.

His dick was already hard, so what better time for another lesson?

"Oh, hi daddy" you smiled at him as he closed the door behind him, noticing how he locked it.

You were sitting on your pink bed, resting your back against the headboard while you read a book. A big t-shirt draped over your body and some soft pajama shorts underneath it.

"hi sweetheart" he smirked

"do you need something?"

"no baby, but it's time for another lesson"

He watched you frown in confusion

"but mom's home... and you said you couldn't help me when mom was home"

"I know what I said" he nodded annoyed at your sudden need to ask questions "but I was feeling generous and I wanted to help you now." he explained "If you don't want my help anymore you can just say s-"

And just as he'd predicted, you interrupted him before he could even finish that sentence.

"No, of course I want your help daddy"

"good" he nodded "then come here"

You obliged immediately, setting your book to the side on the bed and standing up to walk over to him.

"take off your shirt" he said once you were right before him.

You did as told, observing his eyes fall to your naked tits, just for his hands to reach them, feeling them as his thumbs played with your perked nipples.

"you've got pretty tits sweetheart"

"t-thank you" you blushed, your eyes falling to where he was touching you.

"Today is gonna be different from last time" he explained softly 

"ok" you murmured

Oh how he loved how small your voice got every time

"get on your knees"

Once again, you obeyed.

He looked even bigger from down there, and you felt even smaller.

"now undo my belt and lower my pants"

You swallowed nervously, looking up at him

"go on" he urged

So you did. You took care of his belt, then of his zipper, and then as he said, you lowered his jeans, and they fell, pooling at his feet.

What was now in front of you, was the perfectly clear shape of his dick, hidden only by a pair of thin black boxers.

"take them off"

your fingers seeped through the waistband, and slowly, you took them off for him.

You still hadn't gotten used to it. He was just so big,

how did all of that even fit inside of me?

no wonder I'm sore.

"w-what do I do?" you asked, looking up at him with those innocent eyes of yours.

"spit on your hand, and then just like last time, wrap it around my cock"

You hesitated a moment, before bringing your hand to your lips and summoning some spit from your dry mouth.

You were so nervous your hand was almost shaking as it wrapped around him, and it might have had something to do with his expecting eyes looking down on you.

Your thumb didn't even reach the rest of your fingers, that's how fucking thick he was.

"up and down, like last time" he instructed, clearly getting impatient.

"l-like this?" you asked, gently stroking him.

"just like that baby" he breathed, his hips pushing forward a bit "Now use your mouth"

You tried to swallow some of the sand in your mouth, but all you could think of was how fucking huge he was and how he was never ever gonna fit, and how he was gonna be disappointed of you and-

"We don't have all day sweetie" he murmured 

"I-I'm sorry daddy, it's just that... I- I don't know if it's gonna fit"

He stifled a smile as he answered

"we're gonna make it fit sugar, don't you worry your pretty little head about it" he cooed, seeing some of the concern melt from your eyes "Now be good and suck my cock"

You nodded obediently, and just as he'd taught you last time, you widened your mouth and took him in, or better, you took his tip in.

"you can do better than that" he tilted his head, "go deeper"

So you did, you forced him more and more into your mouth until it was halfway in.

Your hands on his thighs balled into fists, and your face started to redden.

"breathe through your nose" he instructed, watching you do it "and hollow your cheeks for me, baby"

You did as told, and a loud breath fled his mouth.

"good girl" he whispered, making that weird feeling in your belly rise all over again.

"now- just like you did with your hand, go up and down"

Your mouth felt already incredibly full, but somehow, as you started bobbing your head, more and more of him started fitting inside of it.

"that's it" he groaned, his right hand moving some hair out of your face and fisting them in a makeshift bun at the back of your head.

You internally smiled at that, and you got so focused on trying to do even better that your eyes fell down to his groin.

"No look at me" he corrected you, using his leverage on your head to pull it back so your eyes were on his again "You look at me when you're sucking my cock"

You blinked in surprise, but before you could say anything he'd told you to "go on" and so of course, you did.

Up and down 

up and down

always fitting a tad more

"fuck" he murmured, trying to remind himself that he couldn't show you just how good you were making him feel, but fuck but that was a whole lot

Either he was an amazing teacher, or you were a natural. 

"A-am I doing good?" you asked, leaning away, while you tried to catch your breath.

"yeah baby" he breathed, seeing that need for reassurance in your iris

"really?" your eyes lighted up, as a huge smile spread on your lips

"yeah" he cut it short "but sweetie... less talking and more sucking"

"o-oh, right" You let out a soft laugh, slowly taking him back in, but before you could get back to your old rhythm, his hand at the back of your head, had pushed his cock all the way down your throat, making you gag and cough like a maniac.

Your eyes watered, and tears started flowing from your eyes as you looked up at him, confused and a little scared

But all you could see in his eyes was fun.

You looked so pretty choking on his cock...

"it's ok" he murmured, gripping your hair to guide your head up and down like he wanted, "just-" he forced you to gag on him again.

You looked up at him pleadingly as your hands tried to reach where he was holding your hair to try and get him to let go of you without succeding.

"fuck, that's good" he groaned, finally letting you go

You broke into a coughing fit, trying to get your lungs to work normally again, but he didn't even budge, actually, he was sadistically enjoying it.

"wh-why did you do that daddy?" you whimpered, sniffling

"oh baby" he murmured, "If you want Chad to make love to you you're gonna have to learn how to do that" he explained, stroking your wet cheek " Plus, I did it to prepare you for what we're gonna do next"

Your eyes widened slightly

"w-what are we gonna do?"

A grin pulled at his lips

"Now, darlin'," he spoke, "I'm gonna fuck that pretty throat of yours"

"Wha- I"

"shh" he shushed you, placing his thumb on your lips "it's ok" he calmed you down "Relax baby, I'm here, I'm only trying to help you"

"I know but-"

"But what?" he asked, frowning as he looked down at you.

"nothing" you immediately took it back.

"that's right" he nodded "Now open your mouth and stick your tongue out f'me"

And the moment you did... the moment you did, he realized he wasn't gonna last long

"You gotta stay like that ok, you don't wanna hurt daddy, do you?"

"uh-uh" you shook your head, your mouth still open 

"such a good girl" he smiled, before gently, (a gentleness that was gonna be forgotten in seconds) he placed a hand on the back of your head, and trusted his hips forward, making you gag softly.

"shit" he breathed, and then, as if he got possessed, he started going faster, and then faster, and then faster again until rivers were flowing from your eyes and the room filled with the filthy noise of your abused thoat.

"f-fuck" he groaned, forcing your head all the way down so that your nose was almost touching his crotch "Look at you... so fucking pretty like this"

You only had the time to remind yourself to breathe through your nose, and then he was already starting to push in and out of your mouth just like he'd done last time but down there.

You enjoyed seeing him breathe heavily and groan in pleasure because of you, so much so that your panties were drenched... but god it was hard to do as he asked.

"choking on my cock like a good little girl" he hissed, his hold on your head only tightening and his thrusts only fastening "Being so good f'me" he groaned "Always so good"

Your jaw was starting to hurt too much, and you just needed a little break, but the moment you tried to speak he stopped you.

"not now" he spoke, his voice hoarse and filled with pleasure "I'm about to cum baby" he explained, "you know what that means?"

You shook your head, eyes wider than ever.

"it means I'm gonna cum in your mouth" he breathed "and you're gonna swallow every single drop of what I give you," 

His chest was heaving, and you didn't think you'd ever seen him that blissed out

"but not until I say so, ok?"

"mh-mh" you hummed around his cock

"attagirl" he bit down his lower lips, trying to keep his grunts and groans down as much as he could "such a good, fucking, girl- fuck"

And looking down at you, ruined completely for him, he couldn't help but let go, filling your mouth up, until you were choking on the liquid and his cock combined.

He pulled out, his dick softening and his breathing calming down.

"show me" he ordered,

You widened your mouth even more and showed off its contents to him 

His hand grubbed your chin, tilting your head up more to him, as his fingers kept your mouth open.

His eyes were fully dark with lust as he grinned, stroking your bottom lip.

"Now swallow"

Your eyes never left his as you ingested his salty spent, and the moment you did, his dick threatened to harden again.

Fuck, he should have taken a picture

"good girl, now c'mere" he gestured, inviting you to stand up, which you gladly agreed to

Your knees were killing you.

He tucked himself back into his boxers and put on his pants again, while you stumbled to your feet.

"H-how did I do?" you asked, as he busied his thumb by caressing your pretty lips.

They were all puffy, just like his eyes, and the pleasure he got knowing that he was the reason for it, was unimaginable.

"you did good" he said, making you smile "But not that good" he cooed, lying through his teeth. he honestly didn't think he'd ever come that hard from just a blowjob, " If you want Chad to want to do this, you're gonna have to get better at it"

"o-oh"

"yeah" he winced, faux empathy tracing his tone "you really need some practice" he explained "so I think it's best if we do this once a day at least"

Your eyes widened in surprise

"Once a day?"

"at least" 

"y-you'd do that for me?"

"Of course baby" he smiled, before leaving a quick kiss on your lips "what kind of step dad would i be if i didn't help you?"

And at that, you couldn't help but hug him, intertwining your hands behind his neck.

"How are you feeling?" he murmured to your ear, kissing you neck, and forcing a whimper out of your mouth.

"M-my throat's a little sore"

He smirked, softly chuckling "That's normal sweetie, but what I meant was..." he explained, his right hand traveling lower on your body until he was cupping your clothed pussy "how are you feeling here?"

You moaned softly "I-I feel tingly, like last time"

"mhh, that's good" he hummed, inhaling your scent "that's real good sugar, but we don't have time for me to take care of you, so here's what we're gonna do" he said, leaning away, until you were eye to eye "I want you to take one of your pillows and hump it for me"

"h-hump it?"

"yeah sweetheart, hump it until come"

"I-I-"

"it's ok" he stroked your cheek "It's just me"

"Y-you right" You nodded

"that's my girl" he kissed you "and while you hump it real good, I want you to film yourself, and then send it to me ok?"

"why?" you frowned, a little bit confused

Again with the questions

"Because I need to know if you did it right"

Your mouth parted at that, as the realization hit you

He was just too nice

"of course" you smiled "thank you so much daddy"

[namedaftercommunists]

'Promise?' Daisuke (Mouthwashing) X Reader -TwoShot

[Story is set before he boarded the Tulpa] [Fluff] [Platonic and - or Romantic] [Gender Neutral Reader]

“-like, I don’t know man. Should I be worried?” Daisuke asks with a sigh after a long rant about something you guiltily didn’t pay too much attention to, leaning his head on the wall of his bedroom. His hands keep fiddling with the Rubix cube he still hasn’t solved yet since buying it two weeks ago.

“About?” You ask with a raised brow, turning your head to the side to see him, still laying flat on your stomach on his bed, your hands on your phone a you look for new shoes to buy on the internet.

“The future, my career, everything my folks keep talking to me about.” Daisuke elaborates, still thoughtfully fiddling with his Rubix cube. “And? You weren't worried about -that- before.” You ask again, Daisuke wasn’t one to worry often -so when he is, it’s most probably something that’s been bugging him heavily.

“But it’s all they ever talk about these days, you know? I can’t be -not- worried.” He explains, with a scratch on his head, his long hair sticking out in whichever direction as he looks at a random corner in his bedroom with another sigh.

You've always thought it was a nice place -despite its smaller size. Daisuke’s bedroom walls were filled with posters of bands and games he’d been interested in over the years. Instruments he’s learned during his youth were laid out on the other side of his bed, with academic books he half-heartedly reads stacked atop it -it’s very ‘Daisuke’ for lack of a better term.

You just wish he learned the habit of putting his laundry in the basket and not just have them lying atop his study chair and bed so that he can re-wear them for another day.

“I get that. My parents are the same.” You empathize with his plight, taking an e-cig from your pocket and taking a quick puff. Vanilla fills your lungs and the air.

“Oh- come on! Not here! You know my parents are going to kill me.” Daisuke half-heartedly scolds you, waving his hand around in the air to get rid of the smell, the action making you chuckle. “Sorry -sorry, couldn’t help it.” You say with a half-serious shrug making Daisuke groan in slight annoyance. You pocket the stick back -for his sake.

“You’re also getting scolded?” He asks with a tilt of his head after simmering down. “More like getting nagged.” You correct with a scoff and roll of your eyes, and Daisuke only softens some more at this.

“Right now I’m just doing what they’re telling me to do -studying for a major I could care less about but still have to pull all-nighters for because God forbid I get anything less than perfect.” You go on a small rant, ending it with an exasperated sigh and a dramatic roll of your eyes.

Daisuke combs at your hair with his fingers at this, petting you as if you were some antsy cat. It’s an action you’ve long gotten used to, and you'll never admit to this -but it works in calming you down.

There’s a short comfortable silence before Daisuke speaks again. “My mom got me an internship.” He says, his voice softer as he continues petting your hair. His words gain your attention.

“Really?” You ask, wanting him to elaborate, your tone curious. “Yeah.” He says with a nod, opting to look to the ceiling now.

“An internship as a mechanic on the Pony Express.” Daisuke expands, making you cringe. “Isn’t that -that shady delivering service company though?” You ask, a sour taste in your tongue as you turn your head to the side to look at him again.

“Can you believe they put up hiring flyers looking for orphans to apply? Only a company that doesn’t care about their employees would specifically look for people like that.” You continue with a scoff.

“Yeah.” He says again with a shrug. “Why would your mom get you to apply for something like that?” You ask, your brows furrowing. “She means the best, you know? She just wants me to get some experience, try something new, do something productive.” He says, getting somewhat defensive over his mom.

"Oh spare me, you sound just like her." You say with a dismissive wave of your hand, despite being apologetic for your words and what they were implying. You know Daisuke's parents just wanted the best for him -just like yours did for you, but it just overwhelms you both sometimes -their care sometimes causing more harm than good.

He scoffs at your comment, taking his hand away from your hair as if punishment. You purse your lips in annoyance at his hand's retreat -but don't express it verbally.

"I'm going to be gone for about a year." He says, and that instantly gets you to sit upright on his bed in surprise and shock. "What?" You ask, facing him.

"What do you mean 'you'll be gone for about a year'?" You repeat, your brows furrowing in confusion. "Like, I'll be gone for a year." He repeats, not meeting your eyes, and guilt slowly creeping up on him. "I'll get deployed on the first day for some actual on-hand experience." He continues, and you can't help but feel a hint of betrayal and worry fill your chest.

"What?! But you barely know your way around the back of a fridge, much less a literal carrier ship." You say, your breath becoming more labored. “No offense.” You quickly add, and Daisuke only waves his hand in dismissal at this. Not taking it to heart. "I'm not going to be alone," He says, still not meeting your eyes. "I'll just be learning from the actual mechanic, like, look over his shoulder and copy what he does -you know?" He continues.

"For a full year though?" You rhetorically ask with an exasperated groan. "Are you even getting paid for this -or is this one of those 'you get paid by experience' bullshit people do?" You ask, and Daisuke can only awkwardly purse his lips at this. Just from that, you already know it's the latter, you let out another groan at this.

"It's not that bad. Look on the bright side, at least I don't have to pay my folks rent while I'm up there." He jokes with a chuckle, but you can only deadpan at this, worry furrowing your brows. It's his turn to sigh at this.

"Look, I'll be fine, man." He says, sitting straighter and closer so that he can pet your hair again. "You don't gotta be -this- worried for me," Daisuke says with a chuckle, meeting your eyes. It's your turn to look away this time.

You continue to stew in your combined feelings of worry and slight betrayal before inevitably hitting him on the side of his face with a throw pillow. Daisuke lets out a small 'oof' at this, but is overall already used to getting hit with his pillows by you.

"Hey now, that hurt." He dramatically says, despite not being hurt at all. "Like hell it did." You say with a roll of your eyes, hitting him in the head with his throw pillow again.

"You're going to die up there." You voice out your worry, disguising it under an irritated tone as you get up from his bed to just pace around his room. Your feet hit his soft carpet as well as the usual discarded sock that he can never seem to find the other pair of.

"Oh come on, that's a bit much don't you think?" Daisuke says with a chuckle. "I'm already going on a spaceship. You didn't have to wish death upon me to add to that."

"I wasn't wishing you death." You say with a roll of your eyes. "I'm just -saying-, nothing good ever comes from being stuck in a ship with how many strangers for a whole year in space." You continue with a dramatic motion of your hands, looking through the catalog of books Daisuke had lying around on his 'study' desk.

"You say that as if you've already been to space with a bunch of strangers for a year," Daisuke says with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, parroting your words. "I don't need prior experience to know that -that's what's going to happen." You say with a huff.

"Call it off." You continue, almost sounding like a command. Daisuke can only sigh at this. "You know I can't. Mom already set everything up." He explains. "Besides, even if I could -I don't want to." He continues, catching you by slight surprise. “What do you mean by that?”

"This could be good for me, you know? Like, maybe -this- is my calling." He says, looking a bit more hopeful. You scoff some more at this, looking to the side with your arms crossed to your chest.

“You’re going to die up there.” You state again, worry eating you alive. “Stop it -you’re manifesting at this point.” Daisuke half-heartedly scolds.

“I’m not manifesting anything!” You raise your voice, becoming more and more agitated. “Think about it, man! These people could be crazies or just outright mean. You could be stuck with sickos and creeps for a whole year!”

“-or, they could be normal. Ever thought about that?” He counterargues, and it just makes you even more frustrated -throwing your head back with a groan and facing away from him to stare at a random corner of his bedroom.

Your eyes just so happen to land on an old picture of the two of you -little kids smiling in their wonky Halloween costumes where they felt like the coolest kids in grade school.

Your smile is missing a few teeth, but that’s fine in comparison to Daisuke’s missing eyebrow. A failed attempt at giving himself an eyebrow slit to look like the cool older kids from before.

“Hey-” Daisuke starts, and given the sound of rustling sheets and feet hitting the carpeted floor, you already know he’s walking towards you –even with your back turned to him.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” He says, putting a hand on your shoulder and slowly turning you to look at him. Daisuke had grown just a few inches taller than you over the years, it annoyed you to no end since you two had always been the same height before.

“Don’t say that -you can’t promise something like that.” You say with a roll of your eyes, still facing him. “Like -I’ll try and keep myself safe.” He says something more doable. “There -happy?” He jokingly asks, and you can only deadpan at him.

“I’d be happier if you didn’t go.” You admit with a sigh, and Daisuke puts a hand on your cheek to keep your eyes on him. “I’ll keep myself safe.” He repeats, sincere, brown eyes slowly but surely softening your demeanor.

It’s hard believing Daisuke -it really is. You’ve known him for far too long for you to not to know that he has the intrinsict need to be needed. Too enthusiastic to help, to the point that he’ll throw any doubt or apprehension in his mind just to be of service to anyone.

Nonetheless, those brown eyes of his and his boyish smile slowly chip their way through your resolve, and your shoulders slump in defeat. “Please do.” You say, your voice softer in defeat.

“Nice,” Daisuke says with a grin before doing a dramatic fist pump in the air -you can only deadpan at this.

“Be serious, man! You need to keep yourself safe!” You say, getting a little more exasperated at his carefree nature. “I am -I am! And I will -promise!” Daisuke defends himself with a chuckle.

“Just trying to lighten the mood, you know?” He says with a smile. “Trying to get that frown off your face. You already got enough wrinkles as is.” He teases, and you kick at his shin at this -making him yelp.

“You’re an ass.” You say with a huff, and Daisuke can only grin through the pain.

There’s a short comfortable silence before he speaks again -his voice soft. “I’ll miss you…a lot.” He confesses, and you can only weaken by his tone.

“I’ll miss you too.” You reply, your voice just as soft as his. You two have been joined at the hip since -forever. It’s a terrifying thought to be apart, for nearly a year no less.

“I’ll write letters.” He says. “I won’t be able to send them to you or anything -I think? But I could write in my notebook, like, a diary or something, and give it to you after.” Daisuke continues.

“Just my day-to-day on the ship, you know? So it’d be like you were there with me.” He says with a softer smile, and you can only chuckle at this -the tips of your ears burning at the thought of him going through such an effort.

“I doubt anything interesting would happen in a delivery express ship.” You say, still chuckling a bit. “But I’ll do the same.” You continue. “I’ll write about my days here too. So you aren’t left out on anything either.” You say with a smile that matches his.

“Promise?” Daisuke cheekily asks, still grinning, his cheeks slowly burning red as well. You nod at this, committing his face to memory for the year you won’t be seeing him. Not that you could ever forget his face. “Promise.” You parrot back with the same softness.

[dalamjisung]

A muted shade of green ✧ Chapter 6: Silver linings

genre: FINALLY JUST SOME PURE COMFORT FLUFFFFF

word count: 6151

pairing: reader x spencer reid

description: weeks pass you by without much happening and you need to remind yourself: you believe in silver linings.

a muted shade of green masterlist

previous chapter // next chapter

author's note: IT'S FINALLY HEREEEE! It took me so long to feel like they were ready for this but oh my god, the wait was so worth itttttt! what are you excited about with this chapter? Let me know in the comments! <3 if you want to join the taglist for this series, please let me know in the comments! also, I would love to dedicate this chapter to the lovely @donttrustlove who reads and comments on every chapter I post <3

“We have a few emails coming in for the manager position, do you want to check them out?”

You two are sitting on his kitchen counter like this is the most natural thing to do at two in the morning. Spencer has work the next morning but still insists that it’s fine and that he wants to keep you company. You think he still feels guilty about the fact that, if not for him and his weird connection to Cat, you would have never been put into this tricky of a position. So he makes up for it where he can– he brings dinner whenever he knows he’ll be home late because he knows you’ll be waiting for him to eat; he makes a mean cereal bowl in the morning whenever he has time; he leaves books he knows you are yet to read by the small table next to your armchair because that is now your armchair and he would never steal that away from you. 

In your own efforts, you also try to make him feel a bit more comfortable with the reality of everything, and you don’t bug him much to go outside, anymore. You don’t call him all panicked and gasping for air whenever he goes on work trips either, instead choosing to spend those lonely days in the endless company of Penelope. Officer Kaper has gotten better and been cleared to work again, and having him with you whenever Spencer isn’t brings you some sort of comfort and guilt. This man had become a target thanks to you and suddenly, you don’t quite read the fantastical stories of princesses and their faithful knights. The way your stomach weights down whenever they eventually get hurt to protect the fairest lady of the land does not sit right with you anymore– you refuse to believe that romance is hurt and pain for one and comfort and safety for the other. 

At this point two weeks had gone by without you even noticing. Suddenly, you jumped from day 9 to day 23 and with the month mark approaching, so is your need for answers. Cat has been silent ever since the attack on Officer Kaper’s house, and so is her partner. For a second, it’s almost like she’s teasing you, like she’s throwing a taste of freedom in your face only to later pull the carpet from right under your feet. Spencer must feel like this too, considering how jittery he has been lately. At this point, you know how to recognise the different gestures of those pretty hands, and the way he fidgets with his fingers while reading War and Peace yet again tells you that he is not, in fact, reading the book, but trying to read himself. You don’t quite understand him fully yet, and that is okay; Spencer has shown you that even if it takes time, he is worth waiting for. 

You still don’t know what happened to him, weeks ago, when you two were discussing Josh. You still don’t know what made him choke on his own words or what had his body limp and stripped of energy in your arms, but the truth is that you don’t really care what it was. Not yet. For now, you are just happy that Spencer showed you a side of himself that you had never seen before, and that he has been less… overbearing about your job. Actually, he had been the one that told you to check your emails for applications, suggesting stating the interview process so that you can make a schedule to possibly go back to the store. “Are you serious?” You whispered to him, eyes wide and waiting for Derek to pop out from the kitchen shouting ha! Gotcha! 

“Of course,” He smiled and nodded and the rest is history. 

The chairs are so close together that your legs brushes against his every time you lean forward to squint at the computer, but at this point, you two don’t even notice it. Cuddling on the couch after a mentally taxing conversation had unlocked new heights for you two, and though he does miss the way your cheeks flushed red whenever your fingers brushed, he prefers how now you just smile, honest and bright, whenever he’s closer than he should be. You don’t know that, but Spencer thinks your spoiling him rotten with these smiles. In your defence, however, smiling at him is just the easiest thing in the world. “Okay, what do we think of this one? His name is–“

“No.” 

Your head whips to look at him, eyes wide behind your glasses. “But I didn’t even finish my sentence!”

“There is a weird gap in his resume,” Spence points out with a smug smile. He likes showing off to you, you’ve noticed. 

“I can ask him about it during the interview process! Spence, he used to work at–“

“Next.” 

You know he won’t budge when he gives you that tight-lipped, dimples-showing smile of his. “My god, you are hard to please,” You grumble and poke him in the stomach with your elbow, already scrolling to the next email. 

When you feel his arm falling onto the back of your chair, you lean back a little into his touch, humming to keep yourself awake. “I am not hard to please,” He says easily. “I just won’t accept you hiring mediocre men to do the job you’ve been doing flawlessly.” 

The way he emphasises men makes you chuckle. “But a mediocre woman is okay?”

“A bit better,” He admits gruffly, and you laugh. “This one seems promising!”

“Give me time to read, Spencer!” You groan, leaning forward again and nodding while your eyes scan through each line. “Okay, she seems good, Mr. Picky. Studied English Literature, so she’ll obviously have some literary background, has previous experience managing bookshops and cafes, has dealt with stock and suppliers before…” The list goes on and on, and you write her name down on the notebook to your right. That’s where the names Penelope will be running a background check on go, per Spencer’s insistence. 

“Wait a second,” Something about the name, so visual and palpable in your little notebook previously filled with facts and memories of Spencer, makes you frown. Why does it sound so familiar? 

Abigail Harrison. 

“What is it?” He hums, chin once again finding perch on your shoulder. Little by little, you start to think that that is where he belongs, leaning on you, relying on you. “Who is Abigail Harrison?” 

“I don’t–“ But then you see it, the address on top of the resume and you hold your breath. “Abigail.” 

“Abi– Wait, the new neighbour? That Abigail?” His arms go around you, and now you’re in an awkward angle, half falling off the chair, half leaning on him, but you don’t mind. What you do mind is the uncomfortable, suspicious feeling in your gut. “Oh. That’s fine.” 

“You don’t think it’s a weird coincidence?” Turning to look at him, you bit your lip in unsureness. 

“Not really– if anything, I think it’s a very logical series of events,” He shrugs and you feel it in your own body. “She clearly has the experience and is obviously looking for a job, so why not one that fits her as an employee and is just a five minute walk across the street?” 

As if sensing your worries, Spencer moves, yet again doing the unpredictable and dropping a gentle kiss on your shoulder. Having one thing to worry about it not enough, apparently, so he gives you another one, and now you know for a fact you won’t be able to sleep any time soon. He’s been doing things like this lately, and you think it’s because he’s finally getting used to your presence next to him at almost all hours of the day. His phobia of germs seems to be pushed aside when it comes to your skin, and if he washes his hand right after letting you go, you don’t take it to heart; it’s just who he is. But with cheek kisses and forehead kisses starting a list, this is yet another one for you to tally up– shoulder kisses. All five stars, ten-out-of-ten-would-do-it-again, though you don’t really ask him for them. You just wait. Living with Spencer has taught you patience, amongst many other things, and for him you don’t mind exercising it to its fullest, excited for your list to grow even longer. 

“Garcia already ran her name through the database,” He whispers in your ear, hands going up and down your arms in a gesture that tells you he knows you’re nervous. “She’s clean, sweetheart.” 

This is new too. 

Letting out a strangled noise at the changes that kept on coming, you nod, mind completely shifting focus. “Yeah, okay,” You breathe out, eyes slowly fighting to stay open and not because of the time. “I uh, I’ll reply to her and ask her to come in to the shop for an interview…”

“That sounds great, but it also sounds like it can be done tomorrow when you’re not almost falling asleep,” Oh, sweet, innocent Spencer. Before you can even protest, he shakes his head, smiling like he’s trying to hold it back. “We’re going to bed, Y/N. I have work tomorrow and now, so do you.” 

Any and all protests fall disappear from your lips– the prospect of getting to go to work after only being able to keep the store’s website open actually has you excited enough to make you sleepy. The contradictory emotions will surely bit you in the ass when you actually lay down next to Spencer, but you don’t care. You get to open up the shop again and that alone is enough to make you squeak in glee, naked feet thumping through the wooden floor. He always bugs you to put on socks, afraid that you’ll get sick with the cold breeze that manages to push its way in despite the windows being shut, but you like feeling the cold on your soles. It always sends a little zap of life up your body and you enjoy it the same way kids enjoy hopping in the mud despite the mess– it makes you feel alive. 

There is a rhythmic routine to how you and Spencer get ready for bed. He brushes his teeth behind you, and you usually wash your face first, so that while he does it, you can braid your hair ready for the night. At first, you didn’t really worry about that because you two did your best to stay in your respective corner of the bed. You tried putting a pillow between you too but after the first time you kicked it off of the bed, you never bring it to the room with you again. Then you tried just paying attention, but that made you lose a significant amount of sleep and you ended up cranky for days. Giving up and accepting that, like it or not, you will end up waking up in Spencer’s arms, legs tangled with his and mouth drooling a little on his shirt, had been the best thing to do to move forward. Now, you two don’t pretend that anything else will happen, and before you’re even asleep, he opens his arms with a grunt, your signal to scoot closer and enjoy your very own space heater of man. “Alright, alright, I’m here,” You mumbled, happy with the way your body is warm but your feet are cold. So cold, in fact, that the moment one brushes up against his, Spencer yelps. 

“What the hell was that?” He gasps, eyes going wide in shock. 

“What?” You ask, smiling mischievously. 

It would be unfair to say that the fear from early in the days has disappeared. It hasn’t– you’re still scared. Sometimes, it tackles you like a football player, abruptly and with so much force that you’re left breathless and immobile for a few minutes. Other times, it creeps up behind you, and you have time to prepare yourself. Despite the sudden appearances, however, your fear has lost that constantness that it had before. It’s duller, to the point that at times it’s just not there at all. And you quite like it, everything considered… it gives you space to breathe. It also gives you space to be– not be anything specific, but just be. And the more you can be, the more your personality starts to come back, peeking through the curtains you had set between yourself and the world. 

Spencer always knew you were a playful woman, but this just confirmed it. “Y/N, don’t you–AH! Oh my god, these are death machines! Put some socks on!”

“Never!” You shout before fully pushing your feet against his legs. 

Laying there, feeling Spencer squirm underneath you and then going off on some random fact about why it is important to keep your feet warm, is when you remember. 

You are a believer in silver linings. 

And you believe Spencer might just be yours. 

————————————

The shop looked exactly like you had left it, which made you happy and sad at the same time. Took you almost an hour to leave the house that morning, Spencer practically having to drag you away from the mirror with promises that “You look beautiful, Y/N.” Officer Kaper is waiting for you by the door when Spencer drops you off with a kiss to your cheek and hurried steps down the street. 

From then on, it’s a frenzy of cleaning. You try to convince Officer Kaper– or Mike, as he told you to call him– that he should sit down and guard the door, but he’s having none of it and instead, carries the not so heavy boxes of brand new books that you ordered as soon as you got news you’d be coming back to work. This is exciting to you, this return to normal, but it also makes you somewhat anxious. Once all of this is resolved– and you’ve taken to thinking about it with the mindset that it is not if it will be resolved, but once it is resolved– what will happen to you and Spencer? Living with him has its perks and the biggest one is that you get to actually see him with some sort of frequency. You get to experience having him in your life instead of just someone who comes and goes as they want. If you go back home, even if just across the street, right above your store he visits everyday… will you still feel this connection you do right now? Will you still get forehead kisses, and sneaky touches of his hand, and his pinky hooking with yours when you pass by?

None of that matters, though, when you hear the bell ringing through the shop. A customer. “Hello!” You call out from the shelves, making your way to the front. A buzz of anxiousness runs through you, though you quickly put it out; there is a literal police office standing guard by the door. You are safe. 

You are even safer when you see it’s Abigail, the downstairs neighbour. 

“Hi! I’m a little early, I hope that’s alright?” 

Oh god. With all the cleaning and organising, you lost track of time. “Oh gosh, yeah, of course!” You say, pulling your hair down from the mess on top of your hair and smoothing it down. 

You want to make a good impression on her. Out of all four interviews you have today, you hate to admit that Abigail seems the most fit for the position. Her experience is almost immaculate and her immediate availability is almost too good to be true. In fact, Abigail as a whole, with her warm smile and welcoming aura, seems too good to be true. As much as you believe in silver linings, she just seems like a straight up miracle. 

“Please, sit,” Pointing to the foldable chair by the corner of the counter, you smile. “We don’t really have a sitting area yet, but I’m working on it.”

“Oh don’t worry about it!” Abigail’s voice is bright and peppy, and you should like her. You do like her, actually, but even so, you can’t quite ignore the nagging feeling in your gut. “I also brought a copy of my resume in case you didn’t have mine readily available–“

“I have it here, but thank you!” So far she has been nothing but delightful, and to be honest, it’s almost like she is a missing puzzle. The way she fits in the store is almost weird, and maybe is the way she is dressed so similarly to you, or how she looks like someone who would manage a bookshop, all plaid and cardigans and pretty smiles. 

Pretty.

Abigail is pretty and that’s when it downs on you that you feel a little jealous. You are not ugly by any means, but the idea that Spencer will go to your store only to look at another woman– a younger, prettier woman– has you holding your breath. 

“Y/N? Are you alright?” 

Snapping out of it, you blush in embarrassment. You’re being crazy and you know it. “Yeah! Sorry, my mind went somewhere else for a second. So uh, why don’t we start with you just telling me a little bit about yourself and what do you want to work here, I guess.” You sound as unsure as you feel, and you suddenly regret saying no to the list of questions Spencer offered to make you. 

“Well, we’ve met briefly when I was moving into the building,” She giggles. “But my name is Abigail Harrison, recently moved to Washington D.C. from New York City–“

“I’m from New York!” You exclaim, big smile spreading as you finally place the familiar intonation in her voice. 

“No way! Where? I was born and raised in Brooklyn!” And suddenly it all makes sense– her cool nerdiness, her extroverted nature, her ease to fit in. This girl is definitely from Williamsburg.

“Oh, I was raised in the West Village but then moved to uh, Upper East Side,” The memory of moving in with Joshua is an uncomfortable one and makes you immediately change the course of the conversation. Throughout this interaction, you have to remember to be nice, but also serious. You don’t want to give her the impression that this will be an easy job, specially not with how reluctant you already were with hiring someone. “So, why do you want to work here? Besides the close proximity, of course.”

“To be honest, I–“ And there is a pause. It’s not long nor weird, it just sounds like she’s thinking, but Spencer likes to point out your own pauses whenever you try to lie to him about your strategy during nightly backgammon, and it’s become a sort of a bad habit you’ve gotten from him. Squinting, you let her continue. “I just really like the store. I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but I walk past here every morning, and every morning, I prayed that it would be open. Everything inside looked so… homey. So familiar. And I’ve worked with books my entire life, you know? I thought… it was fate.” 

There is a redness in her cheeks that makes you squirm in your seat, nape of your neck suddenly feeling a little clammy. “Fate…” You mumble, nodding while looking down at the blank notebook on your lap. Right now, you are torn– you are trying to understand what is it about Abigail that makes you so hesitant while also fighting against your gut simply because the more she talks about her experience, the more you know she has to be the one. 

“…and after almost five years as a manager, I’ve found that I have a really good method of keeping things in order,” She finishes, nodding eagerly for you to show her any reaction. 

“That is really good to hear,” You gulp, getting your head back in place. “So just to reiterate, this would be a full time, part time position, of sorts. I would still come in some days in the week, and you would be acting manager whenever I am not here to oversee things. Whenever I am here though, you would be a very welcomed extra pair of hands and company. Believe it or not, we tend to get quite busy during lunch time and it was getting a bit too much to be here by myself.”

“So we’d still work together some days, right?” Her excitement is so clear in her voice that even Officer Kaper turns to pay more attention to you two. “Like, we’d still get to be a uh, a team?”

“Of course,” You say, nodding stiffly and looking at the clock. “I love working in a collaborative environment and I wouldn’t leave you alone in a new job straight away. We’ll start with training days and go from there.”

“That sounds incredible!”

“Yeah…” Looking at Mike– you are doing your best to abide by his wishes and call him by his first name– he gives you a little nod of recognition. “Anyways, do you have any questions for me?” When she shakes her head, you get up and offer her a hand to shake. “I’ll be making a decision by today end of day. I have a couple of other people to interview, but I’ll let you know either way.” 

Is it just you or is her hand lingering a little? 

“If you don’t call me, I know where to find you,” She says, her little laughter giving out the fact that this is supposed to be a joke. But you don’t laugh. And neither does the armed policeman by your door. 

“Ha ha,” You say, trying your best to be nice regardless. “That you do!”

“Your boyfriend is lucky to have you, I bet he gets lots of books for free,” Abigail is a chatterbox, that much is clear, and with every try for a conversation, the more you feel like she’s just digging for gossip. For a minute, you actually think you are back in high school. 

“Wha–“

“Or is that not your boyfriend?” 

You don’t really know what to do, and it shows. Which is why you’re not surprised at all when Officer Kaper, your one and only hero, steps in. “Sorry to ask, ma’am, I should’ve said something before, but would you mind me checking your ID? We are conducting a security check system for the businesses in this area, there has been a rise in robberies lately and this is just for precaution.” 

“Oh my! Of course,” After that, it doesn’t take long for her leave. 

There is not even a minute of silence until a customer walks in and you have to slap that fake smile in your face again. The hair on the back of your neck is standing up in a way that makes you a bit too aware of everything, and that, in turn, makes your heart skip a beat. Nervously glancing at Mike, you keep trying to remind yourself that you are safe, that you have someone to protect you. It’s hard to focus on your work when Spencer’s voice echoes in your head making up a list of everything that could go wrong. Your job is very open to the general public. People can easily see inside. You don’t know what they have in their bags. His habit of mouthing off whatever comes to mind is not coming back to bite you in the ass. 

“You have a boyfriend?” Officer Kaper’s questions snaps you back to reality.

“Huh? Oh! No!” Shaking your head, you awkwardly lean over the counter to try and ignore the sure blush on your cheeks. “She’s talking about Spencer.” 

“She knows Doctor Reid?” It’s clear from his tone that this arises some suspicion in him. 

“She just moved into the building and we met her when we were coming out for a second,” You shrug. You don’t want to feed your panic and you also don’t want to leave the man who got injured because of you on edge and scared. Abigail is just a bit taller than you and definitely stronger, with the body of someone who seems to care about her healthy appearance, while you… well, you prefer sitting on your armchair all afternoon with a cup of coffee and a book in your hands. A bit of a cliche, yes, but your life overall was a bit of a cliche, if you think too hard about it. “Spence thought it was better to let her believe whatever.” 

“Hm, I’m sure he did,” Mike said with a dramatic wink, wiggling his brows in that suggestive way that makes you chuckle so desperately that he has a hard time not laughing at your reaction. “You know, I think Doctor Reid has a crush on you.” 

“Ex-Excuse me?” You sputter out, eyes wide at how easy it is for this man to voice something that has been swimming in your head so insistently. 

Spencer having a crush on you is not that wild of a thought, when you think about it objectively. It’s the Proximity Principle. You read about it once back when you were in college and it’s kind of stuck– people are more likely to form close relationships with other people they spend significant amount of time with. Unfortunately, though, you also know that crushes are also dependant on a certain fantastical factor, something that allows humans to project a lot of their needs onto the one that holds their affections. Predicting Spencer’s needs is actually not hard either, and the more he tells you about himself, the more your heart break for the boy that lives inside that man; the one that is afraid of being abandoned, the one that misses his mother dearly, the one sees a family in the coworkers he spends so much time with. You see how you can fulfil this role for him, you’re not blind nor stupid. His smile gives him away, to be very honest, with how bright and big it gets when he notices you waiting for him to get home, sitting in your armchair, reading the book he left for you next to it. Or how he tries to hold it back, that gorgeous, beautiful smile, when he hears you calling his name, all whiny and shy at the same time, to ask him something so ridiculous and out of pocket that he can’t do anything but laugh. 

You are the sense of belonging he never had. 

The same way that he is the sense of consistency you’ve always craved. Though in your case, you know that he is so much more than that. 

In his… well, you will never know until you ask. 

And my god, you’re not ready to ask.

“Yeah, a crush,” Officer Kaper shrugs, walking to the counter and smiling like a kid saying something naughty. “He used to talk about you all the time, before all this. The pretty bookseller.” 

“Now you’re just enjoying making me squirm,” You say, squinting at him despite how his words make your heart race. 

“Maybe I am,” He jokes. “But I’m serious! You two are obviously into each other… right?” 

“Officer–“

“Mike, please!”

“Mike,” You sigh with an attitude, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “Are you trying to profile me?” 

His silence is enough of an answer to make you gasp. 

“It’s not like that–“

“Mike, do you want to be a BAU profiler?!” The way you whisper makes all of this feel like a big secret ever. Your body is leaning over to try and get closer to him, and you’re so excited about knowing this that it makes you bounce a little in your feet. “Why didn’t you say something before? I’m sure Spence would help! You can ask him all the questions and–“

“I already too the FBI entrance exam once and didn’t get in,” He interrupts you with such abruptness that something in the air shifts. This is not fun anymore. It’s tense. “It’s fine. I’m happy doing my part here with the MPD.” 

“You are,” You nod. “You really are. Thank you.” 

That is the last of the small talk for the day, the next interviewee coming in before you can say another peep. 

————————————

“Did you have a good time at the store today?” 

This is the first time that you are not the one doing the waiting. Or the cooking. Or– “Did you clean?” You ask, a bit shocked with how spotless the entire place looks even though the air smells like tomato sauce and… something else? 

“Why do you say this as something so hard to believe?” Spencer is baffled at your expression, laughing incredulously. “I live here! This is my apartment! I’ve been living by myself since I was 18!”

“I just never seen you clean!” You defend yourself with a lighthearted laughter.

“I’m thirty years old!”

“That just means you’re old,” And you two fall back to the usual teasings while you walk around the living room, dropping your coat and bag on the couch, and moving into the kitchen to help with whatever you can. “Oh my! And you even cooked! Careful Spence, you’re spoiling me… I might just want you to make me dinner everyday from now on.” 

Spencer just shrugs with that little shy smile playing on his lips. “I could get used to spoiling you…” 

“I could get used to being spoiled,” You mumble, eyes unwavering from his. Letting the tension of the moment grow, you push your hair behind your ears. “Can I help with anything?” 

“Not really, I made sure to start it really so it would be ready when you came home,” He says and turns into a ball of excitement that is all limbs and fast words. You love him like this and so you listen, like you’ve been yearning to do all day. He tells you that this is a recipe that Rossi taught him a while ago, and the wine is the exact same one he recommended back then, and just as he says, when you look closely to the busy workspace on the kitchen isle, there they are– two glasses half-full. In a very Spence fashion, he goes on and on about the exactness of the ingredients and how the whole idea that cooking is about ‘feeling it’ is kind of stupid, but the more he talks, the more breathless you find yourself. 

There is wine. 

There are entrees, and it looks like Spencer did his due diligence, buying your favourite crackers from the deli nearby. 

There are main dishes, sides, dessert; and you guess it is some sort of a tiramisu, catching the smudges of chocolate powder and coffee by the sink. 

And then there is Spencer. There is Spencer back home early. Spencer wearing his favourite purple sweater. Spencer with his combed hair. Spencer without his phone? Now you are suspicious, looking around with a confused frown on your face.  

“Is everything okay?” 

“Where is your phone?” His satchel is also not where he usually leaves it, gone from it’s perch by the door. 

“My phone?” He asks, sounding as confused as you. “Why do you need my phone?” 

“I don’t, I just never seen you without it.” 

“Oh,” That makes him laugh. “I don’t need it today.”

“Why not?”

“Curiosity killed the cat, Y/N,” Spencer catches you by the shoulder and brings you back to the set dinner. “Just sit down and enjoy this. We finally have some time to spend together.” 

“You would never let anything kill me,” You say so easily that it can’t be anything else other than the truth. “Why don’t you need your phone?” 

He snorts and turns to mix something in one of his many pans. “Because Hotch and Rossi forbade the team to call me tonight. Derek said he’d be on call instead.” 

“That’s awfully nice of Mister Muscles,” You comment offhandedly and there is something about the way you notice Spencer tensing a little that makes your smirk.

“He has a girlfriend, you know.”

“Oh, I know– I heard it all from his baby girl, who is not his girlfriend, but is a big fan of that couple,” You say, happily smiling while munching on a cracker. “Why?”

“Just checking if you knew. A lot of girls are usually… taken… by Derek’s looks and charms, but he’s off the market now. I think Savannah is here to stay.” 

Crinkling your nose at the though of dating Agent Derek Morgan, you quickly shake your head. “God, no, I’m not– No. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he is objectively handsome, but he’s not my type.” 

“Are we talking about the same Derek Morgan?” He scoffs without turning to you. “He is everyone’s type…”

“Not mine,” You repeat, silently getting up from where you sway your feet. With muted steps, you walk around the kitchen isle to stand behind him, fidgeting with your hands in a moment of unsureness. 

Maybe you are reading this wrong. Not every man that does a nice gesture is interested in you, you know that mainly because you never really believe people are interested in you at all, but it’s getting progressively hard to not look at everything he had done for you and not think it is a date. 

Before you can overthink this, Spencer is moving backwards. “Oh? What is your type, then– oh fuck!” Your arms go around his waist as soon as he bumps into you, and you don’t let him squirm away, even though he tries. “Y/N, wha-what are you doing…?”

Gently, you let your head fall onto his back, forehead pressing close to his nape. Silence reigns until you are ready to speak, but Spencer waits, tense and oh so patient. “Spencer,” You whisper with your broken voice, nerves getting the best of you and making you shake like a chihuahua. “Spencer, is this–“ 

Sweet as ever, his hand moves from the counter, where his knuckles are white with how hard he grips it, to a slow touch to your hand. Brushing his fingers overs your skin, he whispers back. “Is this what?”

“Spencer is this a…” Why can’t you bring yourself to say it? 

Around you, there is noise. You hear the neighbours upstairs, the click-clack of their shoes echoing until they are gone. You hear the heater pipes reading themselves to work through the night once again. You hear the food in front of you two bubbling and sizzling. And my god, do you hear him… you hear his heart, beating, racing, so strong and fast, that you smile to yourself. This is all Spencer– every noise, every shake, every thump and thud of that amazing, loving heart of his.

“It is.” 

Your arms squeeze around him in shock. “I didn’t even say it.”

“By now, you should know you don’t have to,” The soft cadence of his perfect pronunciation tells you that he is feeling confident and calm, and you bask in it for a second or two. Until he hits you with the million dollar question. “If Morgan is not your type, who is?”

“I want to say it, though.”

“Who is your type?”

It’s a weird battle of stubbornness between you two, but you don’t mind. You would fight this war forever, if it meant this– feeling him alive and breathing and laughing. “Let me say it,” You ask, smiling coyly even though he can’t see it. “Please.” His adorable little laughter sends a wave of ripples down his back and you press your face closer to feel it. “Say it then.”

“Spencer Reid, is this a date?” 

“I was hoping it would be,” He says and pauses. “Y/N Y/L/N, am I your type?” 

“I don’t really have a type,” You say slowly, pulling back a little to nudge him to turn around. You only smile when you see his eyes– those curious, curious eyes– that constantly look for answers for his questions. Sometimes, you don’t have answers, but he looks for them anyways. First in one, then the other. Spencer looks at you carefully, slowly, like you are something worth committing to that memory of his by the detail. Like he wants to remember you even when he closes his eyes. You see it, how you make him feel like he belongs, with your open smiles and blinking eyes. But you also see, for the first time, how you are also so much more. “But if I did, it would be you.” 

You are a believer in silver linings. 

And yes, Spencer might just be yours… specially with the way his lips feel against yours. 

---------------------------------------

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[2knightt]

hiii I was wondering if u could do smth for the outsiders? Like Darry has a s/o who is the mother figure for the gang and often Johnny n pony call her ma / mom? I js thought it was sooo cute but if not it’s also okay dearrr

darry curtis x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing

3.probably ooc LMFAO

darry would literally love you. oh my god.

you’re caring???? you help take care of the gang??? you help ponyboy with homework???

you might as well rip his heart out of his chest cause it’s already yours!

the gang loves you, probably even more than darry does!

but to darry, that’s impossible.

you’re heaven sent to him. he truly believes you’re a miracle!

when he’s stressed out, you’re right there to help him destress!

giving him a massage, giving him tea, shit maybe even all of the above if you feel like it.

“jeez dare, stop overworking yourself so much! you’re gonna die some day because of it!”

“no i won’t, been doin’ it for so long i’ve gotten used to it.”

“thats even worse!!”

when you cook for him he will GOBBLE it up.

homie can taste the love you put in and he thinks it makes the food taste 100x better.

but even you have stressful days! but, expect darry to treat you like a princess!

he will not let you leave his bed, he is getting everything you want.

water? done. a book? already in your hand. a fucking car? he’s wasting all his money for you!

he will follow you to hell if you ask him nicely.

he just loves you so much.

when he somehow get’s hurt in rumbles he’s so glad you’re there to patch him up.

but he isn’t glad that he gets an earful from you.

“you know i hate these things. why do you out of all people go darry? you’re better than this.”

he just grumbles because he doesn’t even want to answer anything with a black eye that’s slowly forming on his right eye.

the gang is so thankful that you can patch them up too. they sometimes fight over who you’re gonna help next.

“i’m goin’ after darry!”

“SODA! YOU’VE GONE SECOND FOR LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. IT’S MY TURN!!”

“PISS OFF TWO-BIT.”

“actually it’s my turn.”

“shut the hell up steve.”

“AYE!”

ponyboy’s just happy he has a mother figure in his life again. his mom was definitely his favourite parent, so now that he has someone to replicate that, he’s on the moon.

he only calls you mom or ma in private, he’s too embarrassed to say it with others in the room.

BUT, he definitely lets the mom calling slip accidentally infront of the gang.

“mom, do you need help with the dishes?”

“MOM?!”

“WHAT?!?”

pony just looks down in embarrassment until you chuckle and agree to him helping you. then he’s all smiles and sunshine!

darry is so happy to see this you don’t get it.

darry asks for advice from you to get to know ponyboy better since he rambles on and on about whatever he’s most interested in at the time.

“so uh, about ponyboy…”

“oh! he really likes ‘gone with the wind’, i know you don’t have much time to read so, i can just tell you the important stuff!”

he just nods and stares at you as you talk about the characters, the main plot, and the small details ponyboy’s obsessed with.

he’s taking mental notes and thanking you heavily when you’re finished talking!

“thank you, y/n. really. i appreciate all you do for me.”

“awe! of course, babe. anything for you.”

he’s giggling and blushing at the last sentence

he’s so thankful that you’re there to talk some sense into the gang.

sometimes he sits on the sidelines and just watches.

“DALLAS WINSTON. WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“I’M SORRY! JESUS.”

dallas just throws his hands in the air in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he apologizes you’ll continue to scold him.

but he listens, he doesn’t do whatever he did for awhile.

darry just chuckles at the sight.

his mom used to scold dallas like that, so seeing you do the same brought back good memories for him.

being around you just reminds him of the ‘good old days’ so when he’s around you his mood immediately lifts.

like he could be yelling at ponyboy to raise his grades and you could walk in and darry would go “AND STUDY MO- oh hey babyyy!!☺️☺️”

everyone’s eternally grateful for you.

ESPECIALLY JOHNNY GOOD LORD.

he goes to you for literally everything.

something bad happened to him?? he’s at your front door! something good happened to him??? he’s right beside you telling you about it!

yeah, he calls you mom too.

he doesn’t mean to though! he just looks up to you so much, he’s always seen you has a mother figure but he never thought he’d actually call you mom!

“hey ma, does my hair look tuff!?”

“huh?”

he’s FROZEN in place. he’s so embarrassed, he’s literally overheating.

you just giggle to yourself and say his hair does infact, look extremely tuff.

he walks away smiling with a little hop when he walks.

the gang fights over your attention with darry.

they ain’t got a good life at home, but if you give them the motherly love they’ve been missing? they will kill someone for you.

darry loves and hates this.

he loves that you and the gang get along. he can’t be with someone the gang doesn’t like, but he hates that they like you so much they talk to you 24/7.

he sometimes just snatches you while you’re talking to someone in the curtis house.

like you could be talking to sodapop and he’ll come behind you and grab you by the waist and carry you into his room.

all that while soda chases him down, yelling nonsense.

“DARRY! I WAS TALKING TO HER.”

“that’s crazy…”

overall, darry would definitely look for a mother-like lover.

he needs it fr🙏

author notes;

1.EVERYONE SHUT UP THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST I CANT

2.when i read dear i lowkey giggled and kicked my feet

3.should i make a taglist??!!???? would literally anyone like to be tagged in my outsiders fics?!!!????

4.i really hope i did this justice LMFAO

5.btw if you’ve DMed me im not ignoring you, im working up the courage to talk to you. im a very nervous person😭😭

may 11th, 2023. 10:18PM.

[enypsh]

TRY AGAIN - 01. maybe it's natural

SYNOPSiS. the expected had unexpectedly, but finally, happened. infamous heartbreaker sunghoon park and quiet girl y/n. broken up. you and sunghoon, the college campus it couple. what happened? what happened to the two lovers who had the most love for each other in the world? broken promises and broken hearts. but do you two ever want to try again?

PAiRiNG. non idol!sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. rest of enhypen, chaewon from le sserafim, ningning from aespa, yeji from itzy)

WARNiNGS. sickening loads of fluff , swearing , mentions of food , parties , drinking , mentions of hook ups

WORD COUNT. 2K

TAGLiST. open! send in an ask or dm

SERiES MASTERLiST NEXT

Love at first sight was either something people agreed on or found as a fib. a "figment of imagination", some would call it. "There's nothing actually called love at first sight."

Fortunately, for you and Sunghoon, it was real. A dream come true. Just a slight glimpse of you two, and people would truly believe love at first sight was real.

Who would've thought that you being sleep-deprived would cause this whole... incident? A happy coincidence? Was it luck?

Maybe it was the way that your head fell onto Sunghoon's shoulder due to the lack of sleep you'd gotten the previous night.

Or perhaps it was the way you cutely and quickly apologized, wiping the teeny trail of invisible drool from your cheek. Randomly, and suddenly, proceeding to give him the sandwich you were planning on having for lunch. But you gave it to him instead, impulsively. All because you felt sorry for getting a spot of drool on his shoulder.

"No wait," he tried calling out for you before you quickly rushed out of class in embarrassment, blending along with the rest of the students leaving class. "Wait! it's okay - wait! Come back!" He tried going after you, quickly packing his bag as the rest of the students were leaving.

As he bent down to grab his stuff, he noticed a glint at your seat. A bracelet. Quickly shoving everything into his bag, he grabbed it without hesitation and rushed out.

He went around almost everywhere near the cafeteria area to look for you. He didn't know your name, which he just realized. Even though you two had always sat next to each other, coincidentally. But anyways.

"Hey, sunghoon!"

Turning around, he found Jake rushing to him at a frantic pace. "Hurry up! I've been trying to get to you through calls and texts too! We're late!"

Well shit. Today was Jay's birthday. The group: Jay, Jake, Heeseung, Jungwon, Ni-ki, Sunoo, along with Sunghoon, was supposed to meet for lunch. And he had completely forgotten about it.

"Jake, go without me. I'll be there soon, tell Jay i'm sorry, I swear I'll be there real soon." Well, leaving Jake in a very confused state, Sunghoon rushed out of the cafeteria after he saw you at the corner of his eye. Outside, sitting under the tree reading a book. Alone, with a pair of headphones.

He jogged to where you were, trying to get your attention.

"Hey," he cleared his throat. Gosh, he didn't know why he was being so awkward. The Sunghoon Park was being an awkward person around you. He started again, seeming to figure out you were too zoned into the book you were currently reading. "Hey!"

Finally getting your attention, you looked up at him. Cue the random wind that you could only see in movies, your hair softly blew in the wind. Cue the sudden glow right onto your skin from the sun, making you look prettier than ever.

Oh a dream, in Sunghoon's eyes. You were pretty, and Sunghoon saw it. He noticed it. and well jesus, Sunghoon park was fucking blushing because of you.

He snapped out of his daze after hearing you, well, shriek. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! Are you still mad about what happened in class? I'm really sorry, I promise I didn't mean to." You were ranting, almost sounding like you were trying to rap. Awkwardly getting up, away from the spot you were previously sitting at.

Cute, he thought. "Oh, no, it's okay. don't worry about it, I actually found your bracelet. I think? I was putting my stuff away so," was what he had said instead. Handing you your bracelet, he gave you a lopsided smile.

Oh, he's cute, you thought. If only you two could read each other's minds.

"Do you not want it?" Sunghoon was just standing there, an awkward arm extended.

"Oh! no! i want it it's mine. Oh my goodness I'm sorry I'm a mess today. Did you like the sandwich? Do you want more?" Your cheeks were on fire, redder than a tomato.

Sunghoon chuckled, "You're cute." Shit. That was actually not what he meant to say but he was just speaking his mind, we could say!

"What?" Well you were red as a tomato now. This was one of the most, top 5, embarrassing and most fucking awkward moments of your life.

Quietness. A moment of stillness as the college's well-known heartbreaker Sunghoon Park was blushing over you. With that damn arm still extended out in front of him, holding your bracelet. Is this how slow-mo from the k-dramas feels like? It was such a sweet thing. Staring into each other's eyes. An awkward arm’s length away from each other. And hundreds of texts piling up in Sunghoon's messages from his friends asking where the fuck he was. 15 minutes late already.

"Wait shit,” Sunghoon was frazzled, letting out a little squeak. “Sorry i need to get going. Please forget about what I just said.. slip up! Yeah. A slip up I was getting nervous, sorry. Yup. See you around." And there he went. Awkwardly leaving, bag over his shoulder while you were clutching onto your bracelet for dear life.

There was no fucking way the sunghoon park just called you cute out of nowhere and left. You were in a daze. still blushing. And awkwardly standing. But you were hopelessly in love. Scratch that. No, you weren't. Well, you were gaslighting yourself into thinking that you weren't. You couldn't be in love with Sunghoon Park, he'd done the bare minimum for you. What was so warm about the fact that someone returned your lost item to you? Well christ, you were a goner. Too late. And there you went contemplating on the true meaning of, "Am I in love?", for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon had finally arrived at the local restaurant. "Sorry Jay, real sorry. I had to give someone-"

"Who was the girl you had to go see?" Jake had cut him off mid-sentence. And shit, Sunghoon looked up after taking his seat, only to see all his friends devilishly grinning at him. Oh god, how was he supposed to explain everything to them? Should he lie? Say it was just a friend? Or completely act clueless? Or be honest?

Jay laughed looking at his friend’s blank face. "Don't be sorry. It's fine, but who's the girl anyway? That's a fun topic to talk about. Jake told us you ran off to give something to a girl?" Sunghoon could practically hear Jay’s grin.

Sunghoon sighed, acting all calm while he most definitely was not, while the rest were grinning ear to ear, "That's out of context. She was sitting next to me in my last class, and she forgot something behind so i just went off to give it to her." Quietness. But a different kind of quiet - the quiet where six pairs of eyes were on him, with a cheeky grin plastered on their face, all thinking of the same thing.

"Well then why are you blushing?" Heeseung pointed out. Grinning more, if that was even possible, staring into Sunghoon's soul. 

This was not going as Sunghoon planned, and he was blushing. Again. He was supposed to make girls blush, not for girls to make him blush. (Or whatever people say!) He was supposed to have a silly fun night with girls at parties, a one-time thing, and that was it. He never felt any “romantic” connection with anyone for a date, nothing like that. But what was it with you? Did he have a thing for girls who were socially awkward and fell asleep on his shoulder? 

"I'm not blushing!" Stupid. He knew damn well he was. He downed the cup of water that was next to him, throat burning. From denial. But he wouldn’t ever admit that.

"Right... better introduce us to your. Classmate." Jungwon threw a silly little wink at Sunghoon, and if it was even possible, everyone grinned even more. A whole-ass grinch smile on every single one of them.

"Deny it all you want but," Jay started, still grinning, "to make it up for coming late Hoon, you’re coming to the party later tonight. And you better come on time, or come early with a special treat for me." 

Did Sunghoon want to go? No. But was it for his friend? Or for the chance that, just maybe, he could see you? For you. For Jay.. definitely! Well, tonight was going to be a very long night.

In another universe, you were very busy ranting about Sunghoon Park to your friends. for the past 2 hours. Well - Ningning got sick of it. Chaewon was immersed in this situation, along with you. while Yeji was concerned. Very concerned. You, a girl with minimal experience in the real meaning of life - was here expressing your silly love crush on Sunghoon Park. 

"He's notorious for being an asshole with girls, y/n." Yeji thought he was absolutely a no-go. just at the thought of him ever dating you, it gave Yeji a whole body chilling irk. A whole nightmare you could say. "I really don't think you love him, honestly maybe he was just being nice. He’s usually not like that, you know. Maybe to earn a night with you?" Objectifying. 

The horrors of college party nights. Stories from girls who slept with Sunghoon, “I thought he genuinely loved me.” Well christ, they should’ve gotten the hint by now.

"Nope," Chaewon intervened. "He's definitely in love with you. If the Sunghoon Park did all that, chased after you to give you that damn bracelet, literally blushed. Like I’m pretty sure the Sunghoon Park we know, does not blush! He’s supposed to make you blush! Which I bet you did.”

In fact, you did. You could even feel it when you were standing up. The heat spreading across your cheeks. The way you had no thoughts, christ, Sunghoon Park was standing in front of you. He was known for being good-looking as well, and for once, nobody was lying about it. His face, with a soft smile in the view of your eyes. You liked how everything around you muted when you were there with him. Love at first sight. 

“You zoned out again,” Ningning sighed. She knew that you were hopelessly crushing on Sunghoon Park already. As much she would’ve cheered you on, with whatever decision you were making. Sunghoon Park was an absolute and instant no from her. She heard about all the tales that he did around the college campus, and she didn’t want you to become a victim. A victim helplessly under this trap. “Let’s think rationally, please. What if he’s purposely trying to flirt with you? You know, like, trying to get your attention. Because there’s also the party we’re going to later tonight and he probably knows that you’re going, so.”

The party. You were not going to the party. “Nope! Not going to the party.” You were walking away from your friends, searching for a bottle of water to chug. “I’m not going to be wasting my time at a lousy party that’s full of too many people who just grind on each other and smell like shit. no thanks.”

“But what if you see Sunghoon there,” Chaewon smirked. You knew where she was going with this. It was definitely a great way to make you go, but you didn’t want that to be the reason on why you would go.

You sighed, “Fine, I’ll go. But NOT because he might be there, actually. I’ll go because last time I skipped and made you guys go, I’ll just go with you guys together. You know like a fun little night.”

Cue the giggling from Chaewon and the long sighs from Yeji and Ningning. 

Chaewon was doing this weird eyebrow wiggling at you, “Sure. You’re definitely not just going for Sunghoon. Right. Got you. Well then, what are we waiting for! Let’s get ready!”

It was going to be one hell of long night.

NOTE. finally finished chapter 1.. i was planning on writing more but decided to keep that stuff for chapter 2. first chapter ever written, there's like mistakes here and there i think i sort of rushed.. BUT i have this whole image painted in my mind for this series i'm so excited 🥹

TAGS. @lovingvoidgoatee @babystrlla @adoredbyjay @eneiyri @bts-army380 @rikibun @ddazed-lhs @txtlyn @enhastolemyheart @nyfwyeonjun @sunsunl0ver TAGLIST IS OPEN!

[annie-creates]

I don't really hate you

Pairing: Lady Lesso x reader

Genre: angst to fluff

Words: 1100

Note: This probably isn't exactly what you meant, but I got this idea and it felt right writing this. If you want I'll write something really really angsty for you later on. I hope y'all like this anyway.

Your day was not going great. Your first class was a disaster, you forgot to bring the tests for the second one and after lunch, the joined class of Evers and Nevers was a nightmare. Noone listened to you, nobody wanted to do the homework and someone even threw a tomato at the black board as you were writing down important bullet points.

You didn’t know if you wanted to cry, scream, hysterically laugh or all at once. Your last hope was the last class of the day, nothing could go wrong with gardening, right? You’ll let them roan the gardens and hopefully nobody gets eaten before the end of the day. You couldn’t be more wrong though. As you gave out instructions to replant some of the flowers into bigger pots, you already heard one breaking and saw another student running around with the gardening scissors.

“This horrible day will never end,” you mutter helplessly as you chase the kid with the scissors.

You spend the class cleaning up broken ceramics and glass, hoping at least the flowers will survive the rampage of your students. Honestly you had more faith in the plants than yourself. You locked yourself up in your office for the remaining of the school day, grading last week’s tests and having to fail a few kids, which didn’t add up any cheerfulness into your already sour mood.

When you finally returned into your shared chambers with Leonora, you were ready to give up. She was already out of her usual work clothes, a sign she returned much sooner than you did, reading her book on magical potions at the couch. She gave you a little smile that froze on her face when she noticed your disheveled state.

“I swear I’m turning in my resignation tomorrow. I’m gonna grow grey hair from those kids before the school year ends,” you complained, walking to your dresser.

“Oh come on babe, they’re not that bad,” she tried to reason with you.

“No, they’re even worse. Little inept devils…” searching through your special drawer you don’t agree.

“Well that would mean I’m doing something right…” Lesso smiled but it didn’t amuse you.

“They’re always throwing things, screaming things, breaking things… babe have you seen my cookie?” You suddenly ask as you can’t find your favourite dessert in the stack of sweets you keep for emergencies such like today.

“What cookie?” She asks innocently not looking up from the book.

“The one I like? Chocolate chip with a pinch of salt? It’s my favourite and I’d swear I had one in here…” you narrow your eyes at her.

“I haven’t seen it…” Leonora tries to deny but you see the guilt in her posture not being able to look you in the eyes.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you’d eat my dearest cookie! I’ve been waiting for it the whole day! And I’ve had a horrendous day!” You scream at her on the verge of tears, your comfort food being inevitably gone. “Why would you do that!”

“Jesus babe calm down, it’s just a cookie alright..?” Lesso was taken back by your sudden outburst.

“Yeah maybe to you it’s just food! Then why are you taking it from me!” You scolded her.

“It’s not that big of a deal, you’ll get other cookies…” Lesso argued.

“Ugh, I can’t believe you! You destroyed the only joy a had of the whole day! I hate you!” You shouted with a loud bang shutting the door behind you as you left.

Lesso starred at the spot you were at just moments ago, too stunned to even think, her book long forgotten. What has gotten into you? Were you really that much stressed today? Sure, you were always protective of your sweets, but it was just food, right? Nothing to be too upset about, nothing you couldn’t get yourself the next day.

But to you it wasn’t, the little nice biscuits and delights you kept hidden just for your own pleasure were your comfort. It brought you calmness and overview, caressing your nerves like honey on your soul. And now your favourite one was gone and it ruined your day even more, for you were in excited anticipation to finally eat for many hours by now.

While you were sulking in the now empty dinning hall, Leonora realized she was probably in the wrong this time. You were after all a sweet fragile soul and she knew she shouldn’t have eaten from your secret stash of snacks. She just didn’t think you’d notice, a big mistake on her part. And you always had this rule you shouldn’t be going to sleep while angry at each other, so she had to fix this fast, or you’ll be even more cranky in the morning.

The door behind you open with a creak, your girlfriend coming in. It didn’t happen often she admitted to her mistakes, but you were her one weak spot and she couldn’t live with you being mad at her. Plus, she did kind of bring this on herself. So now she’s gonna make it all better and make it up to you.

“Hey, are you still mad at me?” your silence was answer enough to her dumb question. “Look, I’m really sorry I ate your cookie. I should have remembered how important they are to you. I have something to make up for it though.”

That piqued your interest, along with the amazing smell that came in with her, so you slowly turned around to see what she came up with as a piece offering. The tray of cookies smelled absolutely amazing and a fine fume was still coming up off them, as if there were in the oven just moments ago.

“Did you make this right now?” you questioned.

“Something like that,” she wasn’t willing to admit what a scene she did in front of the kitchen staff to get them to bake a batch at this hour. “They’re not salty but I’ll find you some tomorrow, I promise. I’m really sorry about what I said, your sweets are important.”

“I don’t really hate you, I’m sorry,” you apologize also as you’re already taking one of the delicious delights off her hands.

“Can we go to bed now and enjoy these?” she tries to bribe you.

“Yea, I guess,” you agree, taking the tray and shielding them from her to keep it all to yourself.

“If you eat them all you’re cleaning the crumbs,” Leonora warns you but your pointed look shuts her up real quick. “Alright, I’ll clean the crumbs.”

[resowrites]

Growing Pains - oneshot.

Summary: Henry does his best to reassure his pregnant wife about her changing body…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, nondescript OC body type/appearance, some talk of body image issues, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 1320

A/N: My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Growing Pains - oneshot.

"Are these scales broken?" Her voice echoed from the bathroom, causing Henry to look up from the book he was reading.

"No, why?"

"It says I've gained three pounds!"

"… So?"

"What do you mean 'so?'" He blinked, unsure of the correct response.

"Well… you're pregnant. Surely you expected to start gaining a bit of weight?" Her mouth dropped open.

"Three pounds is hardly a 'bit' of weight, I'm not even out of the first trimester!" She harrumphed and began stepping on and off the scale.

"Careful, you'll break them."

"Why, cos now I've gotten so fat?!" She snapped.

"Okay, this is obviously gunna be a long one," Henry muttered as he temporarily closed his book.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Ollie, I don't know what you expect me to say, just try turning them on and off again." She began fiddling with the underside of the scales, though a much deeper frown appeared on her face.

"Now it says 'error,' oh God, am I so big I've busted them?"

"No, now come to bed."

"What happened to the manual scales you had?"

"I dunno, all we've got is the kitchen scales--"

"And how am I expected to use them?!"

"Well, I suppose you could always weigh yourself bit by bit and then add up the numbers?" He could see her nostrils flare. "Or I could fill the bath to the brim and measure the volume of water spilled--"

"Carry on matey and I will drown you in that bloody bathtub!"

"See? You don't want my ideas you just want to mean. Well, I'll bid you goodnight, madam." Henry then turned over to go to sleep.

"Oh no you don't!" She ripped back the bed covers.

"You know those scales probably are broken, you must have burned a good two hundred calories just this last half an hour having a go at me--"

"Oh shut up!"

"Why?! All I've done is try and help you!"

"No, you haven't, you've just been a little turd as per usual."

"Well then stop being ridiculous and come to bed, you look fine."

"Just fine?!" He sighed.

"Ravishing, exquisite, magnificent… now come to bed." She stepped off the scales a final time and turned to look at Henry pleadingly.

"Darling, I need you to be honest."

"Uh oh…"

"Is my arse the size of Japan?" He struggled not to laugh.

"… Which part?" She huffed and threw a toilet roll at Henry. "Oh come on, you were begging for that! If you're that concerned about your arse, come over here and let me get a good look at it…"

"I think not, pervert. God, I can't believe I've put on so much weight, at this rate I'll have a backside a hundred miles wide by the end of my pregnancy!"

"That's about the size of Osaka isn't it?"

"Henry, this is not a joke!"

"Well, are you sure you weren't three pounds heavier beforehand?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!"

"Calm down, I was only trying to help! You look beautiful Ollie, always have, always will." But she wasn't listening.

"Perhaps the weight's gone to my chest, do my boobs look bigger?"

"How would I know? You won't rest them on my face for me to be able to tell." That time she threw a towel at him. "Will you please stop chucking the contents of our bathroom at me?!"

"No, I will not. Now answer me, do my boobs look bigger?"

"I dunno, stand to the side--"

"HENRY I AM LOSING MY SODDING PATIENCE!"

"Well, what a bloody surprise! Anyway, you don't want reassurance you just want someone to be mad at. It's not my fault you're pregnant!"

"Oh no, then whose fault is it? Our Amazon driver?"

"Oh that reminds me, did my protein powder come today--"

"HENRY!"

"Alright, alright. And if you're looking for tampons to throw they're on the second shelf in the bathroom cabinet." She then got so mad she slammed the bathroom door, causing Henry to giggle. "Do you want me to bring in your pillow so you can be comfier?"

"Fuck off."

"Suit yourself. I wouldn't sleep in the bath though, it'll make your snoring echo." She unexpectedly opened the door.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overreact. Come here…" She held out her arms for a hug and he darted out of bed, eager to oblige. But without warning, she shoved Henry into the bathroom and locked the door.

"What… what are you doing? Ollie?! Let me out!"

"No, I don't think I will. Goodnight Henry, if you get cold wrap yourself in the shower curtain--"

"Wait! I'm sorry okay?!"

"No, you're not, you were rude and unsupportive of your pregnant wife--"

"Yes, and I'm sorry--"

"Don't interrupt! You have to learn Henry, and if that means you spend the night in the bathroom, then so be it."

"Well at least let me say goodnight to the baby!"

"Nope, they're annoyed with you too."

"How can you tell?"

"Cos I've got heartburn--"

"Then let me out and I'll bring you up a cup of tea and Rennies--"

"Nope, not good enough." He wracked his brains.

"Alright then, how about a foot rub?" She considered it for a moment. Henry seized his chance. "And you don't look bigger to me, but even if you did it wouldn't matter. I'd love you if you weighed a thousand pounds--"

"Are you trying to tell me I look ginormous?!" He swallowed hard.

"No! Just that I don't care what happens either way. I love you, darling - big arse or small." Henry could practically feel her anger radiating toward him. She then became eerily quiet and he half expected an axe to crash through the bathroom door. "Ollie? Is everything okay? Can you open the door? I'm not sure I locked all the knives away in the kitchen…" But what Henry heard in response sounded like whimpering. She was crying. His heart lept into his throat. "Ollie, let me out, please. Ollie? Oh, darling… I'm sorry, okay? There's no need to get upset, I was just joking! You know I never know what to say, I'm a man, alright? Stupidity is second nature to us… Ollie? Just open the door so I can see you're alright." Reluctantly she agreed and the look on her face made Henry's stomach drop. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Now, you listen to me. You're growing a human life. It's messy, difficult, and yes, your body's going to change. But it's the last thing I want you to worry about--"

"But what if you won't find me attractive anymore!" She wailed.

"Don't be daft--"

"Henry, stop acting like we're a regular couple. You could have anyone--"

"Stop right there. I chose you to be my wife for a reason. And no, it wasn't just the sex," she rolled her eyes. "Now, you and your lovely arse are going to get into this bed so it can be appreciated in all its glory--" she quickly dashed to the wardrobe, removing something Henry could only get a glimpse of. When he saw what she put on, he burst out laughing. "I didn't know they were remaking Little House on the Prairie!" She threw an alarm clock at Henry though he managed to catch it one-handed.

"Stop it! You said I was attractive no matter what!"

"Yeah, but there's a limit! Did my mum loan you that?" He pointed up and down at the long, cotton nightie.

"No, she did not! And if you don't mind, I'm already feeling self-conscious!"

"Well, there's no need to wear a potato sack! Hang on, I think I've got some long johns I can put on…" She threw up her hands in defeat and swiftly removed the nightdress. Henry let out a low whistle. "Much better! Come here, you…" She giggled as he chased her into bed.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@elizabetharegina @fanfictionaddiction99 @luclittlepond @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69 @ushijimbo

[silverskye13]

Hi, I just came from reading the last chapter of RnS, and I am once again shaking by how strong it made me feel, which is also finally giving me the strength to ask this, finally.

How do you write compelling, logical emotions? Like, you are writing as you go, and yet I go back and everything reads with such a sound conclusion, like the characters are feeling what they're meant to be feeling, like their emotions are deeply complex and it's just, how? Are there any tips you can give?

Have you studied any writing theory, or have you got any advice on dissecting pieces of writing for improvement? Because I feel like there's oh so much I can get from "improving from writing more"

Thank you for the kind words. Gosh I'm glad the emotions all make sense. I feel like that's one of the harder things to juggle -- especially when posting chapter by chapter, where sometimes weeks go by between scenes. It gets easy to lose things.

Answers to questions [as best I can] under the cut, because I can see this getting long and rambly.

How do I write compelling, logical emotions?

Uhm! This is a bit hard for me to articulate, because writing emotions is very intuitive to me. I'm a very emotionally aware person -- generally speaking I can recognize how I'm feeling and why very quickly within myself. That, I think, helps being able to write them. But some tips that are hopefully helpful:

Study yourself Emotional intelligence aside, the best way to write feelings is to figure out what they feel like. It doesn't have to be in-depth. You don't have to psychoanalyze yourself. It is enough to be able to go "I'm nervous. My stomach feels tied in knots, my throat is dry." or "I'm happy. I feel like I could dance, there's energy I need to get rid of. I feel full to bursting." Any time you've read something and gone "Oh god, that's exactly what that feels like!" It's because someone sat down and studied it for a few minutes. Sit with the uncomfortable feelings, or bask in the good ones. Root yourself in the moment and really stew. It doesn't have to be for big life events. If a movie makes you feel excited, just take a second to describe how it feels. If a book makes you cry, give a thought to what the tears are like. The next time you sit down to write a feeling, you might not be able to remember exactly what it felt like, but you will probably remember the words you attached to it.

Emotions in real life aren't logical, but stories are If you've ever gotten really angry, or really sad, or just any Big emotion, you know they're often overwhelming and paralyzing in their own special little ways. It is so easy to get swept up in the feeling of a thing that your brain turns off, and your body does crazy irrational things, and then its hours later and you've calmed down and it feels like you'll never get that emotion back again, because it was just so... much. That is allowed to exist in a story, but writing incomprehensible feelings takes your reader out of it after awhile. We need something to stay rooted in, if only so we have a reason the character is feeling as they are. Story emotions have a beginning, middle and end that you can chart. We see what causes them, we feel them, they come down from the high, and then they get a resolution. All of that doesn't have to happen at the same time. The character can feel anger over something and it drives their progression for the rest of the book. But, if at the end of the story, we don't see a resolution, it gets harder to believe -- even if in real life, emotions aren't always nearly so neatly tied. [Depending on the type of story you're writing, sometimes you might choose to intentionally leave emotions unresolved by the end, but generally they're still addressed in a "X was still angry, and would always be, but life moves on" sort of way. As long as it was an intentional choice that thought was put into, and that's evident in the character, people will believe it on a writing/empathy level.]

Emotions keep your character relatable, so keep them reasonable Emotions are how your readers connect with your character. Its the little moments where you get into their head and empathize where your attachments grow. Being able to see not only that a character is feeling something, but also see why they feel that way, does a lot of heavy lifting for making you like a character. Even if their feelings are inherently irrational [ie. thinking your friend hates you because they don't want to hang out one day], if you know why the character would feel that way [main character has social anxiety, which has been a problem through the whole book] you can sympathize with them, and care about their struggles.

Think about body language There is so much more to emotion than just "his stomach tied itself in knots" and "his anger was a lightning strike." Emotions are movements and mannerisms. Even something as simple as pacing can convey a thousand different things: quick steps, talking with your hands, in fast circles, leaning forward, beaming [Excited, sharing ideas]. Slow, ponderous steps back and forth in a line down the hall, hands clasped behind your back, brow drawn, gaze low [Contemplative, troubled, turning an idea over and over]. Stomping, storming, glowering, fists clenched, stopping sometimes in front of the door you're pacing in front of, scowling and turning back to your solitude [angry, bracing yourself for an unpleasant confrontation, could be calming down or could be building yourself up to something]. Body language can sometimes convey more of an emotion to the reader than writing how the feeling feels can, especially in a limited POV where you're only inside one character's head.

Physical pacing to show emotion, through word choice Make. Your readers feel things. With punctuation. This is where reading poetry will really help your writing, tbh. Poetry is where punctuation gets really contemplative, really intentional, and you can use that to your advantage in prose too. My thoughts are running. You can tell they're running because I'm in a rush and the words are longer and this sentence is running just like I am. It's one step over and over and over, and ignoring periods for commas because commas feel a little more like a step and less like a hard rest -- and sometimes you do breaks because it feels like a tumble what does this make you feel? It's breathless your readers are waiting for you to stop so they can stop reading and it feels distressing like maybe it's panic or thinking too quick and -- There's something. Creeping. Up on you. A hesitant feeling, like a predator in the grass. There is something disjointed here. In the sentences. The hard stops make you pause. The longer sentences lull you into something. It feels off-balance. Unsafe. Are you scared? Hesitating? What is it, exactly, creeping? You can also get really crazy with it. A character isn't thinking clearly so y o u s ss t art b r e a k i n g up t he wo r d s. You have to be careful. It has to be legible still. But it can be bold, and it can mean something and it can be eye catching and it can be a thought without acknowledgement. Play in the space! Words are toys.

Emotions are your stakes, just as much as bodily harm is If your readers care about how your characters feel, you have a compelling tool to drive their care for the rest of the plot. It's not just bad enough that they could be physically hurt by a situation, putting them in emotional distress makes your readers distressed. This does, however, need balance. In the same way you wouldn't keep your foot on the gas in a car at all times from point A to point Z, lingering too long on one emotion when your readers are invested emotionally drains your readers. There needs to be periods of rest and happiness, to balance the periods of emotional turmoil, guilt, and apathy. If you've ever read a book and thought "Man this character is a crybaby, they never stop whining" or "this book is making me depressed. Everything keeps going wrong all the time!" the balance is skewed too far towards the sad/depressive emotions, and you are emotionally distancing yourself as a result. Something similar happens the other way, if you ever read something and feel like the characters are never in danger, or the plot isn't taking itself seriously. Everyone's tolerance for this is different, but generally speaking, adding small moments of comedy and levity to temper hardship can go a long way to keeping your characters emotionally relatable -- so many people cope with humor anyway.

Read and analyze what you like in other works For the same reason people trace a drawing when they're trying to figure out how the original artist drew it, for the same reason you first knit a pattern instead of knitting a sweater from scratch, pick up a book you love, that gets you emotionally invested in the characters, and really pick apart why you like it. Write down words or descriptions you thought hammered an idea home. Reread a scene once or twice and feel your heart squirm over it and ask yourself why? Just, sink your teeth in and analyze. It helps a lot.

And on the subject of analysis...

Have I studied any writing theory, or have I got any advice on dissecting pieces of writing for improvement?

Also kind of hard to answer! Specifically because I haven't studied much writing theory, outside of reading comprehension classes in high school that I'm 10 years removed from now. If I had to give advice, I think it would have to be from my experience which is: Read a lot and take notes.

You're correct, "practice writing" can only get you so far, in the sense that anything in a vacuum is hard to learn from. If I've only ever eaten a PB&J, it's gonna be real hard to learn how to make spaghetti. Chances are I don't even know tomatoes exist. So, read a lot, and read critically, and take notes.

When I say read critically: I mean read with your eyes open. Ask yourself "why?" as often as you can. A book makes you cry, why? Is it specific to the character? Is it because you want them to be happy or because they're going through something you've been through? A book makes you frustrated, why? Was an important plot point forgotten? Are the characters hard to understand? If so, why are they hard for you to understand? Does the author not explain their motives correctly, does it feel like you skipped a chapter? Or is it because their motives are understandable but you still think what they're doing is stupid? I recommend going back and reading your favorite book with that lens. "This is the best fight scene I've ever read!" Why? Was it important to the characters and therefore important to you? Did it wrap up a plot point well? Was it just fun watching the bad guy get beat up?

I learned how to do this first with descriptions. A few years ago I was reading Kings of the Wyld, and about halfway through the book I realized I thought Nicholas Eames was the best writer I'd ever read. That's objectively untrue, I'm sure there's some better, but it's how I felt and I wanted to know why. So I read the book again. I figured out it was because his descriptions were great. It wasn't just that I could see what was going on in my head, the descriptions told me things about the world.

"The wheat was as gold as the Summer Lord's beard." It's autumn, the wheat is ready to harvest and they have a god named the Summer Lord who is cloaked in gold. That's a lot of information packed into one sentence.

"He had learned long ago that harboring regrets was akin to stashing embers in your pockets: hopeless and bound to hurt." That says so much about the character. He has regrets, ones he's worried over so much he's learned how futile it is. And the image of someone holding onto embers because maybe they deserve that pain is poignant and relatable. We have all done something we regret.

I started writing down all the descriptions of his that I liked, picking them apart to see how they work. I like descriptors that inform you about the world, that are unique to the character, and that are rooted in the physical. I think that's successful writing, so I emulate it.

If you want to get better at writing, really study the stuff you like and ask yourself why you like it. If you can't do it in your head, if you can't just read a book and figure out what went well, write it down! It doesn't have to be a 10 page paper. Just writing "I loved X character and I think xyz reason is why" is enough to get you started. The more you practice figuring out what you like, the better you'll get at identifying and describing it. The more you know about those things, the better you can transfer it into your own work. Study can be really fun when you really dig your elbows into it.

I also think it's equally useful to do this to media you don't like. Pick a book you hate and do the same thing. Why don't you like it? Is it because you don't like the themes, or because the characters were too frustrating to relate to? Was it because the plot seemed forced? Were there plot points and ideas that seemed awesome that the author just ignored? Figure out what you don't like, what you think doesn't work, so you can figure out how to avoid it.

The thing about studying anything is: everything has rules. Learn the rules. Learn why the work [or why they don't]. That's studying.

Learning when its appropriate to follow or break them, that's writing.

This turned into a very, very long rant! Hopefully it helps :'D if not, my apologies.

[brunettemarionette]

@witchthewriter

𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐬! She is devoted to her cause and believes in the importance of justice, honor, and equality, something the two of you have in common. I see the two of you together, fighting side by side; she will always help you with concerns and fears with a small smirk and her bullheadedness.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

Nymphadora couldn't approach you when you first joined the Order. She was flustered even though she tried to hide it, not that Remus or Sirius let her. So she'd find small, little things to give you to open conversation. "Oh, you like rings. Here's one of mine."

You are her calm. Before you, she was quick-tempered and rash, but now, when the two are together in Grimmauld, the others can find you in some nook somewhere reading or sharing thoughts on a book that you had gotten Nymphadora into.

Nymphadora's features sometimes change unintentionally, at least more so when she knows she has feelings for you. It would become a running gag that when you pass by, her hair goes red, and her face slowly turns pink.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴

I Need You by James Newton Howard Blister In The Sun By mxmtoon (cover) Home by Gabrielle Aplin

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀

Oblivious (You) x Constantly Admiring (Tonks) They Fell First, But You Fell Harder Runs Into Battle (Tonks) x Not Far Behind (You)

𝗣𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲

Unbreakable Bond

𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐳! He's one of the 'softer' Sons and probably the most sensitive. I think he would quickly love your personality, which among the women of the club would be like a diamond in the rough. He craves warmth and stability, which you have a lot to give, and it helps ease his anxious side.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

Whenever he's on a run, he always hits up a few bookstores looking for something special to bring home. While the guys are rushing out their road flings, he's in a small cafe library searching for that book you've been talking about.

That being said, I can see him getting a little OCD with all the little trinkets lying around in the house. He'll quickly put back any books that have been left on the counter or find a clean way to store those colourful bath bombs—the only thing he won't do is touch your tarot deck; he knows better.

He thought your shaved head was awesome and begged you to do his. That's where the little mohawk comes from. It started as a joke when you were shaving, but with a grin, he decided it was there to stay.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴

I Know Places - Lykke Li Iris – Goo Goo Dolls Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀

Dumbass (Juice) x Oh God That’s My Dumbass (You) You’re The Only One Who Understands Me (Juice) Anxious Mess (Juice) x His Safe Place (You)

𝗣𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲

Love At First Sight

𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫! I think Bruce struggles a lot with positive relationships because he's driven by fear of causing pain or losing them. Still, once he sees you're not going anywhere, he'll start to drop that guard. Having the Hulk means that you'll have not one but two people fiercely protective of you and your sanctuary.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

You have a very good relationship with Hulk, much to Bruce's worry. You are one of the only people genuinely able to calm the big guy down. He can sense Bruce's internal love for you, so Hulk relies on your love, too.

People think Bruce spends too much time in the lab, but what they don't understand is that the two of you spend those hours just being together—him doing scientific research and you reading a book or learning something new in the realm of witchcraft. You don't need to be talking to be together.

He loves to hear you talk, your thoughts, musings—everything. He could listen to your voice for hours. It's soothing and keeps him calm.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴

Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron And Wine

Rosyln by Bon Iver, St. Vincent

Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀

Supportive & Protective (You) Finally Allowing Someone Into His Heart (Bruce) Tragic Past (Bruce) x Ray of Light (You) " I love you unconditionally" (You) x "You shouldn't" (Bruce)

𝗣𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲

Initially Distant, turned to Mutual Yearning, turned Lovers

[collapsedglasshouses]

WOULD YOU SAY I'M WORTHY || PART FIVE

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x OFC ; slight Nick Folio x OFC

DIVIDERS BY @saradika-graphics

SUMMARY: When Eden meets Noah, her life is anything but perfect. Her heart is far more broken than Noah can even guess at this point. Will he be able to mend the wounds he hadn’t caused?

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, eventually smut, mentions of grief/loss, mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of mental health issues, mentions of illnesses

A/N: Hi! First of all, I am deeply sorry this took me so long. A lot of stuff was happening in my life and I just decided to take my time and work through stuff. There wasn't a lot of time left to write. This chapter was written back in May, I just never came to upload it since I didn't really know where to go with the story at this point. Right now, I'm trying to get back into it and I hope you can forgive me for letting you hang in the air for so long. This isn't proof read but I'll go over everything once I'm finished with the story.

If you wanna be added to / removed off the story's taglist or my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!

MASTERPOST || MASTERLIST

Eden’s heart was beating fast. She was nervous. In fact, she was so nervous she had been biting her fingernails like crazy the second she had opened her eyes that morning. She felt like she hadn’t slept at all the previous night, her mind always making up the worst nightmares imaginable every time she tried to close her eyes. She couldn’t think about anything else but the fact that she was in fact a widow at the ripe age of 27.

If that fact hadn’t hurt enough on its own, she also had the difficult task to tell the news to her closest people. Ryan, Dylan’s younger brother, had reassured Eden that he would book flights for him and Raven as soon as they ended the call.

Eden was scared. She was so scared to tell them that Dylan was basically dead, because she herself couldn’t quite believe it. The only thing that slightly snapped her out of her anxiety was the fact that she would finally see her sister again.

Eden tried to ignore the jealousy creeping up her bones when she thought about Ryan and Raven. Her sister and Ryan were going to have what her and Dylan never had. A life together. Raven and Ryan had been together for almost eight years at this point. It was a picture-perfect story to tell. Back when Eden began dating Dylan over eleven years ago, Raven met Dylan’s younger brother Ryan. It was like a dream come true for their parents when the two also began dating but everything came crashing down on them when Dylan got diagnosed with a tumor as big as a ping-pong ball in his brain. After the horrifying news everything changed. Everyone became quieter. No one dared to crack a joke around Eden. Eden distanced herself.

Eden couldn’t help but think about their wedding. They didn’t even really plan to get married at all. One day they just randomly decided there was this possibility of doing it and the next they knew they were getting married with just the closest friends and family around. Eden thought it was going to last forever, that nothing in the world had the power to come between them. But life, as always, proved them more than wrong.

When the doorbell rang, Eden was finally snapped out of her thoughts. She noticed how she had been standing in the middle of her living room since she had gotten the message from Ryan that they had landed in Los Angeles. She felt how her hands became sweaty. It felt like she fell into a trance as she walked to the door of her home and stood in front of it.

It took another ring of the bell for Eden to finally grab the door handle and slowly opening said door.

“Oh my god, Eden! Finally!” Her little sister blasted in her ear and before she knew it she was wrapped into a tight and warm embrace. Eden wanted to return the gesture but she couldn’t even lift her arms to do so.

Her eyes shot right to Ryan, who was standing behind her sister. Eden hadn’t brought it over herself to tell him what had happened on the phone, but when Ryan saw the expression on her face, she realized he probably had an intuition what was about to happen. His smile faded slightly as they stared at each other.

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked in a concerned voice as he hugged her for a short second.

“I think you guys should sit down first.” Eden mumbled so quietly, she wasn’t even sure if she understood her words herself. She slowly lifted her hand to point in the direction of her dining room, causing Raven and Ryan to slowly enter her home. It was this moment, when she realized they never were at her home before.

After leaving Alexandria in a hurry to be with Dylan in Los Angeles, all her family members slowly began to distance themselves from her. She almost felt like she was poison to them. Nobody dared to get too close to her, fearing they would break her. The only two being semi normal to her were the two stepping into her home at the moment.

“Why aren’t we going to the hospital?” Raven asked with such innocence in her undertone Eden wanted to break down right at her spot. Ryan on the other hand was looking at Eden with his hands folded on the table like he was preparing himself for whatever was to come.

Eden took a deep breath while sitting down at the opposite side of the table. She felt like the words were stuck in her throat. It felt like every ounce of breath was pushed out of her lungs all at once.

“Eden?” Raven whispered and reached over the table to touch her older sister’s hand. Eden’s hands were shaking under her touch. In fact, her whole body was shaking. Raven knew her sister like the back of her hand. She knew it was hard for her to find the right words but she had never seen her in such a state. Not even when Dylan got diagnosed. It broke Raven’s heart to see her like this even though she had no idea what was about to come.

“Dylan is braindead.” Eden breathed out, her voice trembling and her gaze still fixed on Raven and her connected hands. “We need to discuss what to do now.”

Eden heard the gasp that slipped out of her sister’s mouth. She felt how the touch on her hand became firmer. After that it became quiet in the room. The tears started to burn in Eden’s eyes. She couldn’t look up. She couldn’t move.

“Are you serious right now?” Raven whispered and Eden noticed she was crying.

“If you think I would joke about this, you definitely do not know me.” Eden whispered out with a trembling voice. She didn’t want it to sound that rude, but she didn’t have the energy to filter her words in that moment.

It took another minute or two until Eden finally dared to look up. Her eyes immediately met Ryan’s and she felt like she needed to throw up. Ryan had the same eyes as his brother. The same shade of brown. The same shade that she adored so much.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Ryan asked, his eyes also slowly filling with tears. Dylan was everything Ryan had left of his family. They grew up without their father, who left them when Ryan was just two and Dylan was six. If that wasn’t enough, their mom died just five years prior in a car accident. It felt like Ryan just couldn’t get some rest. Eden always admired how well he handled everything but at this exact moment she realized that even the strongest people crack sooner than later.

“We-…” Eden began but her voice stuck in her throat. She swallowed down her upcoming tears, trying to be the support that the two in front of her needed right now. “We can either shut down life support or consider organ donation.”

Ryan let out a tone Eden felt like she would never forget. The cry he let out was so awful she felt like it imprinted itself on her bones. She watched how Raven wrapped her arm around him while not letting go of her sister’s hand.

It broke Eden’s heart to be the one to break the news to Ryan. She felt like she never came out with good news in the last couple of years. Every time she made herself known to anyone in her family, it always came with bad things.

She pressed her teeth together trying to not break down completely while hearing Ryan and Raven’s cries. Eden squeezed her little sister’s hand for a second.

“I don’t even-…” Ryan began to say but broke down in the middle of the sentence. He pressed his hands against his eyes in a pleading attempt to stop his tears. Another wave of cries escaped his mouth and Eden looked to the ceiling for a second. Her lip was trembling.

“I think we-…” Ryan tried to say again but like before he couldn’t get his words out.

“It’s okay.” Raven whispered, tears streaming down her face.

“I-… I wish I could make this any easier.” Eden stuttered out while crossing her arms in front of her chest in hopes of some kind of comfort.

They sat like this for what felt like hours, before anyone dared to speak up again. It was slowly getting dark outside and it felt like their lights were also taken from them in the process.

TAGLIST:

@measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @sitkowski @exitwoundsx

@jilliemiw86 @justeli6 @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @crossedxoceans

@bngurngheart @dream-machine-love @vinyardmauro @arkiliastuff @princessmarshmallowx

@thisbicc @xxkittenkissesxx @malerieee @smoke-in-diamond-shape @veronicaphoenix

@thatgirlforever5 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @missduffsblog

[jayvolans]

𝐥𝗼𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝗼𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 | 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝗺 𝐬𝗺𝐚𝐮

𝐗𝐈𝐕. 𝐂𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒

Y: Good morning everyone, and welcome to another segment of our Stellar Lunar analysis!

A: As I’m sure you can tell, this was not scheduled, but some of you reached out to ask for help on a latent theme analysis of chapter 7.

Y: Wow, your intros have gotten so much better! Didn’t think you had it in you~

A: …thanks. I guess.

Y: Alright, enough chit chat let’s get to it!

A: *unintelligible noise*

A: Please, please, please tell me you don’t actually believe that…

Y: And why wouldn’t I? You can’t take everything she says at face value!

A: Yes, you can. Not everything has a deeper meaning.

Y: And I would agree, but in this instance our narrator has been proved time and time again to be completely unreliable because of her mental state. The whole point of this is that we absolutely can’t trust everything she says.

A: I guess I… didn’t consider that. So with that being said, what do you think she meant by her statement?

Y: Oh my god… is the Alhaitham agreeing with me AND asking me a question, all in the same sentence?! I think I’ve seen it all!

A: Technically it was two sentences.

Y: Ugh, way to ruin the moment.

A: But you-

Y: One of these days we’re going to have to agree on something!

A: As soon as you start making sensible points we will.

Y: What makes you right? Our classmates love my point of view!

A: …

Y: Whatever.

A: Anyways, hopefully I’ll rub off on you so you can look at this logically.

Y: None of this book is logical though! That’s like- the entire point! And the seventh chapter is the most convoluted and non-straightforward part!

A: You’ve… read the whole book?

Y: You haven’t?

A: Of course I have.

Y: We’ll talk about the ending later.

A: Agreed.

A: I think I might strangle you.

Y: Cut.

A: What?

Y: Cut the cameras. Deadass.

A: Can’t win the debate so now you have to fight me?

Y: For your information, I’d win both, no questions asked!

A: Oh yeah?

And the next thing you know, Alhaitham is towering over you, haughty eyes looking down on you. Only slightly daunted, you stood up to meet his glare.

It was quiet in the room, the only sound being his quiet breathing and the ticking clock. “This isn’t a fight you can win,” Alhaitham grinned, but it was less mocking than you expected.

In fact, his narrowed eyes danced with mirth, taking you by surprise. “Oh please, I could take a nerd like you down any day,” you huffed, hands on your hips. Alhaitham snorted out a laugh as he stepped closer, and now you were chest to chest. “I’d like to see you try.”

Your frown deepened at his taunt. “You’re insufferable sometimes, Alhaitham,” you bit out. There had been an odd tension that had been present the whole recording, and now it was reaching its peak.

Chest to chest, nose to nose, he was insufferable to you, but you couldn’t get enough of your back and forth with him, couldn’t get enough of him. And maybe it was just the lingering heightened emotions from your near arguments, but you couldn’t help but want to be closer still.

It might’ve been wishful thinking, but from the way he was staring, you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way. “God, you talk too much,” He hissed.

But before you could make a retort, his lips were pressed feverishly to yours. Your noise of surprise was muffled by his lips as he pressed your body closer to his.

It felt as though a haze was clouding your mind and stealing your judgment, but you couldn’t stop your arms from curling themselves around his neck.

He was intoxicating, and you were falling deep. The way his lips moved against yours was a mix of precision and passion that pulled you further into him.

His hand carefully cradled your jaw, allowing him to deepen the kiss more than you thought possible. You needed to breathe, and thought he would too, but Alhaitham seemed wholly content to only breathe you in, showing no signs of stopping.

You had to force yourself to pull away, but you couldn’t find yourself regretting it when you saw his expression. Eyes half lidded, lips swollen, and cheeks dusted pink… it was not something you could’ve ever imagined seeing on Alhaitham’s face, but the last thing you were doing was complaining.

“What was that?” You mumbled, unable to escape his gaze. And just like that, his infuriating smirk was back in full force. “I told you; you talk too much.”

You groaned, flicking his forehead. “Shut up. Anyways, we definitely have to cut that part out,” You sighed, but you weren’t at all displeased, and it was obvious that Alhaitham knew it too.

“Why? I think it adds to the argument,” He shrugged.

A: With all of that being said, I hope this was as productive for all of you as it was for me.

Y: Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?

A: I think you know, yn.

Y: I-?!

A: Anyways, if you have anymore questions reach out to either Professor Lisa or us. Anything to add, yn?

Y: H-huh?

A: Tch. You were complaining about my intros when it’s really your outros that are the problem…

Y: Hey-!

A: Goodbye and thanks for watching.

Y: Alha-!

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝗼𝐮𝐬❧ 𝗺𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭❧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭❧

:D?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (open)❧

@ruisann @imma-too-many-fandoms @coffeecasket @kokxm1 @lunastarjay @dksfl920 @chiisananingen @itonashi @pidgey-ontheloose @ceylestia @jinxnotpowder @natsum-s @xirthia @adorablezhui @sunsethw4 @deartoru @baelloraa @nambii @simplyxsinned @aixaingela @whipped-for-fictionals @keithsaccount @blayxe @nekogakuro @richxelle @rifran @flutterawayx @nolvngerhvman @celestair @klementime @apinu @http-mewchuu @phoenix-eclipses @court-jester-stuff @dustofthedailylife @albedos-world @taoluv @salamiwrites @imkaaayy @turtl3-warr1or @zombieb1t3 @nachotrash @xiaossocksniffer @duckyyyx @spilloverlove @thenightsflower @feverish-dove @evilenchantresss @sharkiestory @yomamastitties

[sweetangelanon]

I've talked about William before in the new time line being kind to the kids he previously killed. That at first it would just be a boss being seemingly extra nice to random customers.

I feel like, given this is his second chance and he def believes in superstitions if any of the previous kids are friends with his kids or Henry's kids he'll find new ways to... metal in their lives (for what he assumes in the better.*) and give gifts or just talk with the parents. Which is honestly sickening because he so clearly remembers what it was like to watch these families fall apart. In the past he was there patting their shoulders, comforting them, speaking on how they would find who did this and bring them to justice. And here he is again a fresh clean slate. Worming himself into their lives again but for a whole other purpose. One of the thoughts I had was with Fritz where he needs eye surgery done or something and his parents can't afford it. But, you know who can? William Afton baby and he pays for that shit. And Fritz dad is so tearful, thankful to him, begging him to just let him pay William back. Will just smiles like a kindly God, resting his hand upon the other man's shoulder and telling him he couldn't even think of accepting the money. He's just happy to know Fritz is okay. He still has beef with Cassidy though because of the bullshit she put him through LMAO. Mixed with him wondering if he could nurture her hate/rage to make her his new protegee.

Thinking about Oz who recognizes these faces, is meeting these kids that he read about in newspapers back in his time. Sometimes looks at them and remembers the gory descriptors on a radio recording he found on youtube. Between blinks he only sees dead bodies standing in front of him before they seem normal again. I don't know if he could ever really be... friends with any of them. I just feel like he'd freak out to much in front of them to the point all of the kids in the MCI are like "this kid is super weird....." like GOD GOD YOU DON'T KNOWWW YOU DON'T KNOWWWW. I can't get into charlie, I mean i can but also that is even worse. Because we know he kills Mary Ann, makes it seem like she disappeared/ran off. Henry falls into a depressive state, William convinces this man to move in with him an his family WHICH WAS ONE OF HIS BIGGER PLANS FROM THE START. He wanted a reason to move house so that his family wasn't in the same house that their life went 'wrong' at. He wanted a clean slate, a fresh start. And Henry's like "but Will I- I can't impose like this I just-" and Will just puts a finger to his lips going "shhh shh it's okay henry," brushing back a bit of his hair while smiling going "what are friends for?" and henry cries while william is inwardly like yess tehehe the man i've been obsessed with for years lives under my ROOF NOW YIPPEEE HE'S MINE FOREVER!!!!!!!

Which means he can get his hands on charlie and sam.

He didn't get sammy before because after mary ann died in the first timeline and henry kinda lost his mind folks were like "yeah we just don't think u are fit for taking care of a kid' and handed him off to his aunt.... Which aunt idk man not sure if I want to give henry a sister like he had in the books.... will have to think about it. Anyway they all get a bigger house obviously and while Oz is like "thank god I don't have to share a bedroom with Evan anymore" he's also like "oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck" as there are now MORE people in the house and his autistic ass can NOT HANDLE CHANGE HE IS FREAKING THE FUCK OUTTTTTT. IT'S SO LOUD IN HERE HE'S SCREAMING FOR HELP HE'S BEGGING LET HIM OUTTTT. anyway yeah so like Henry basically becomes third parent. There's nothing romantic going on btw William's just obsessed with Henry and gay about it. This time around Amee is AWARE of these feelings since Will sat down and told her about how he felt/ that he was queer and it's a whole cry moment cuz he had never gotten around to really telling anyone back then about THE GAY THOUGHTS!!!!!! Henry sorta had an idea, the vibes you know but it was never openly discussed like it is in this new timeline. And she kisses him and tells him this doesn't change how she feels about him an that she still loves him to the moon and back an im gonna YARF over how sickly in love she is with him UGH.

Anyway this change brings upon the him nurturing the traits he sees as 'Henry's' in Charlie and Sammy so he can forget about Mary Ann ever being a thing. Everything is awful as the kids are unknowingly lead down a particular path that Will thinks is the right one for them and finds himself able to actally love them this time around. (I hate him!!!!!) Though during the process of trying to squish these two into his heart in the beginning if anything happened that didn't go to plan or he was annoyed he'd just close his eyes and think about how he murdered Charlie in the alleyway yikes.......... as a way to calm down..........

**When I was writing this out I had an example of an idea of what type of metaling he'd be doing. As we all know Fritz mom hates his ass rip. I'm thinking she's flat out cheating on her husband with another man because she hates the way her life is going and hates her 'defective' son. So yeah anyway William metaling and gives Fritz dad bread crumbs leading him on this hunt where in the end he finds out his wife has been cheating on him. So much upheaval happens because of it. William's like "well it's better like this she hated her kid anyway and was nothing but trouble I'm def making Fritz life better" and like yeah okay you have a point but also you do this in the meanest way possible dragging out this whole thing instead of just telling it to this man STRAIGHT. you could've come up with a lie that you saw her kissing some other dude while you where out BUT NOOOO NOOO HE JUST DRAGS IT OUT LIKE A LITTLE GAME AND IS GOING tehehe ur getting closer buddy!!!

[nicstylus]

Whats ur opinion on all the Dead Men? They're so precious to me I just sit and think about them and pretend nothing bad happened and nobody betrayed anybody...

Hahahaaaa *heavy sigh* Wall of text incoming. Feel free to comment I love reading em :]

Disclaimers: -I've only read up to Dead or Alive. (Spoilers) -I also don't really... form my own opinions on characters and stuff? -I've said before that I don't ship characters together (Is it because I'm aro? Is it because I'm boring? Is it because I spend too much time playing Zelda? Who knows!) and I don't make my own headcannons (all my creative power goes into my own characters. It's a full time job.) Nothing super juicy here, unfortunately. Sorry :[ - I started rambling about death and stuff whoops

Skulduggery: He's my favourite. This is not a surprise to anybody. I love his rashness, his completely disregard for the world when it comes to loyalty, his anger, his ruthlessness, every single terrible quality about him. I love the sarcasm and the wit and the fake it till you make it acts. The pure ridiculousness. If you can't beat em, confuse em. He's a terrible person, hugely irresponsible, but god dammit hes the bastard I signed up to read about and they can never make me hate him.

Ghastly: God I love Ghastly. That man gives great hugs. I don't like hugs but I want to hug him so badly. I wish Phase One had gotten more domestic Ghastly without throwing him into the thick of things as soon as he entered the scene lol I made a doodle chart out of Skul, Val, China, Tanith and Ghastly and had arrows pointing between them all, discussing the terrible things they've done to each other. I couldn't think of a single thing Ghastly did that wasn't bad. I'm sure there was something, a lie maybe, but I can not think of one. I never finished that chart:

Disclaimer for the rest of them: I don't... really think about them all that often xD Like I said I'm really boring I'm sorry I think the only times I really draw them is when I draw them all (like on the pallete) as a group, or when I'm specifically asked to do so (my asks are open! I'm just currently completely sucked into NCIS rn) Anton: This guy would also give great hugs. When I was first reading the books as a kid I envisioned him as like... really short for some reason? Also: I hate drawing him with long hair. I hate it. He looks amazing but oh my god I cannot draw straight long hair. I have no idea how you guys do it, I MUST draw swoops. There has to be waves. Every time I try to draw straight long hair it looks so strange. Look at this: What is this: Why is it so thick? Why is it so... the way that it is? I hate it. Wow that's really all I have to say about him. How depressing..

Dexter: I cannot believe that this guy was the only dead man to Live with flesh and blood still attached lmao I was convinced he was going to die in some huge and gore-iffic way but nope, we grew a beard instead. Can you imagine how scruffy the beard would be? It wouldn't even be able to grow over scar tissue? It would have to be decently big and wild to cover them effectively. Dude was not taking care of himself during Val's ... Exile? Retirement? Do you think anyone even bothered checking up on him?

Saracen: As a kid when I first picked up LSODM I thought the drawing of Erskine was Saracen. I actually had no idea who was who except for Dexter (white T-shirt) and Ghastly (scars) The three other men just kinda... took turns being each other? Anton was between the two black suits but Erskine and Saracen I had no clue lol You can see that his design has changed a lot since I was younger xD His death hit me but probably not as hard as I was expecting it to. Although what I can never get out of my head is like... HOW did Dexter kill him? Its said in the book that Dexter had the god killer bow on his back when he took him into the wilderness. But like... I can't see Dexter... backing up...? To execution-style shoot him??? Did he ALSO have the god killer dagger? Did he just, slit his throat with an arrow? The 'bow only works if the arrow is fired form it, 'god killer' only works if the arrow is fired form the BOW, its not 'god killer arrows' Did Dexter snap his neck? Did he wait until he was asleep and then shoot him? I still can't see him backing away from him to shoot his best friend/(ex)boyfriend. There's no way he shot him point blank with a bow. I've thought about this more than I've thought about Anton I think xD

Erskine: Unfortunately this guy was spoiled for me because I'm just too smart and have the ability to connect dots. I was looking at fan art like... mid way through reading KotW I think, because I wanted to see how people drew Saracen. I found this (by @yoohdontknowme on twitter) and unfortunately zoomed in far enough to see the eyes clearly. Had my 'oh shit' moment and now I'll never know how I'd have reacted to Ghastly's death from an unknowing perspective, which is much more sad than the death instead (kidding don't come for me) I really liked his character arc though, and I liked that he had legit reasoning to kill his friends, no matter how fucked up they were from an outside perspective, HE believed in his reasons and that's what made him a good villain. It wasn't willy nilly and he didn't do it 'just because.' They may have died for nothing, but I think that makes it even more tragic, which is great.

Larrikin and Hopeless: I love the fan art I see of them, and it amuses me that the fandom kind of collectively agreed Larrikin was a redhead. Other than that though, I unfortunately must admit that I have not had a single thought about these by myself. I've never drawn either of them because I don't have images of them in my head (which reallllly annoys me cmon derek) but I appreciate the liberty it gives also haha

[elluendifad]

Hi!! Could you talk a little about what following Tolkien elven religion is like for you? (Only if you want, of course.)

I'm a very newly awakened elf and I've just started reading the silmarillion. I haven't even gotten that far yet, but already it's the most connected I've felt to any religious system/religious lore before. I'm considering practicing Elvish religion, but idk. I feel a little strange saying I want to practice a religion from a work of fiction, y'know? (Please don't take this as me saying your beliefs are strange— I think they're incredibly cool. This is very much just a me thing.)

Anyway, I guess my question is something along the lines of How did you realize this was the religion for you/What do you believe wrt Tolkiens work being or not being fiction?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and doubly so if you choose to answer! Have a nice timezone :))

Alatulya, welcome kin! this one is a little long so there is a break. i also accidentally hit publish early, so we will see how editing it works lol.

table of contents: 1. my personal history and variety of practitioners 2. dealing with fictional mythology + my fave paper on this 3. specifics of tolk elven religion

Eldarin religion has been my primary religion (buddhism and my eclectic animistic witchcraft also there and co piloting) for seven years. I have been working with other eldar on our own group experience of this religion for two or a bit more years. I have taken a bit of priestly service role of collecting and organizing materials and keeping track of the calendar, which we call Loa and which assigns different holidays and themes in order throughout the year. i suspect this role is agreeable and natural for me as minya, but that anyone could do it. the degree of demand differs depending on the person, and i would say that much of my time is set to thinking of or practicing our religion. others have less involvement, and some of us feel our cosmology and philosophy is more cultural than religious the way humans might think being a member of a religious group should be. as for my own journey of getting here, i have been otherkin for most of my life and many years of that was 'generally a nature spirit type thing.' which became 'an elf but i am not sure what kind.' which then became 'oh god… am i one of those hoity toity tolkien elves?' bc there is a cultural expectation among elfkin that tolk elves are more dour and care what color clothes you wear or something… turns out that is not true! or, at least, i have not met these grim arbiters of what is becoming of the firstborn! reading the silm and other texts in the legendarium to fill in what i had absorbed from the hobbit and lotr (books and movies) was the lightbulb in the dim cellar. i use a mixed spiritual and psychological theory of origin and function for my several theriotypes and elven kintype, and this experience filled in some gaps i had just been sitting with. i personally feel that i am living one continuous eldarin life--awoken at cuivienen among the minyar, lived and died, spent my time in mandos, and was reembodied here. my sense of memory is dim, and i generally assume that is just a sign that memory is not necessarily important for this part of my life the way it was in arda. it is a great honor to live this life and to find other eldar and folks of all kindreds to share my love of life with. it was natural to transition from my magic and religious work with nature spirits to a cosmology centered on the legendarium-some of the spirits i still work and live with admit they are maiar, others are not maiar and are of the many kinds of spirit and sprite that entered into ea after its foundation to explore. our working relationships and the techniques i use for magic have stayed much the same. so how i do it is just one example in a variety.

2. i will answer first on dealing with the fictional aspect and wrestling with the nature of constructed or pop culture or modern mythology spirituality-the individual beliefs differ there, too!

for my part, i do not think the legendarium is a factual history of this actual world we currently live in. i do think jrrt was channeling something, and may or may not have been kin himself of arda reembodied here.

i think ea, like most faerie realms, is both here and not here and you have to open yourself up and step into it. once most people have experienced the enchantment of an otherworld, they are never fully able to drop the sense of it. i do feel that the legendarium makes a suitable mythopoetic 'history' for powers and themes that apply to both this world and ea and where they overlap, and that the legendarium becomes more historically factual the closer you move into ea and the further you go from current earth.

there is a lovely paper that i surely have annoyed everyone with titled the tolkien spiritual milieu by Markus Altena Davidsen of the university of leiden that really gets into the anatomy of constructed religion and what is present in certain medias that lends itself to that anatomy, which he calls 'religious affordances' in the text. it details a number of groups of many varied beliefs in the tolkien spiritual sphere, some active and some long gone, and i feel that it is a great way to expand one's vocabulary and mental concept of constructed religion and the wide variety that is possible in such constructions. the pdf is available from the university website here

if you check out mr davidsen's other published papers on that website, there are several others also relevant to fiction sourced mythology and spirituality including some by other authors.

3. that being said, there are religious affordances for the eldar in the texts, but not necessarily enough for a fully fleshed out practice as is prepared and given to new members of various world religions. it will take a bit of crafting, but we elves do love to craft! most of us blend legendarium cosmology and philosophy with practices or philosophies we are previously familiar with, like neopaganism or judaism or etc etc.

we have developed some structure in the forms of: a multiply layered observational calendar for the six seasons, eight holidays, twelve months, and seven days of the week; the fourteen valar and several named maiar associated with certain valar; the panentheistic experience of the creator Eru; and the use of witchcraft, meditation, devotional or worship activity, enchantments, glamor, and arts like music poetry painting crochet etc.

most of us practice our own personal flavor by ourselves, and group rituals or ensorcelments are rare at the moment. we are all exploring, and i would be thrilled to hear about your own explorations and what calls to you!

sooo… basically i have a worship and work relationship with our gods and supportive spirits, and give observation on the schedule of the loa. i have daily practices, like offering of beverage an thanks or an oil anointment of my body, and then weekly practices like an eruhini veneration and well wishes for the dead. and monthly practices on the full and dark moon, which is focused on the vala of that month, where i usually do spellwork for the constellation. there are holidays at the start of each season and at the solstices, where i will sometimes do magic for the group but is usually about the personal journey. the one time another elf was physically with me i did do some small rituals including that elda. my herbalism work is inherently religious to me and i also count both learning and practicing herbalism as a devotional activity, same with going on walks or drumming.

i invite you very earnestly to reach out any time and through any means you are comfortable with, and i wish you a very blessed full moon of winds. hantanyel ar namarie!

[keikeu]

forest guardian :: choi soobin

pairing :: nonidol! choi soobin x fairy! gn! reader

genre :: strangers to lovers, fantasy, fluff

warnings :: soobin gets hurt and hurts himself (nothing too major)

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fairies were real, and soobin was sure of that.

of course, nobody would believe him if he told them he had seen one with his own eyes, at least not without any proof, so soobin had to deal with the villagers calling him crazy or delusional. the small town he lived in wasn't one to believe in magical beings, although it's located in an area thought to be filled with many, many supernatural things.

soobin was a brave soul. or rather he was curious, which made him do acts that required a lot of courage. ever since he was young, he enjoyed learning new things or exploring forbidden places. the people warned him, but he never listened. it was his life anyways, he could do whatever he wanted. his friends called him stupid, and his parents were worried. how many books could soobin have possibly read to make him so hellbent on the existence of fairies? nobody was sure, and nobody wanted to know.

the words of others didn't bother him though. he has always done his own thing, and that's what he was always going to do. rather than proving others, he was determined to prove himself.

he spent almost every day, and an unhealthy amount at that, in the forest. it was his second home, he knew it like the back of his hand. he loved the forest and it almost seemed like the forest loved him too. it felt as if the plants and animals could sense his presence before he was even there, and they awaited him with open arms.

he had tried his best to gather evidence. to find their homes. to find a piece of clothing. a broken wing. any of their objects. to take a photo. so far, nothing was working. that though, only motivated him to search harder.

sometimes, he had to stay in the forest late at night. today, for instance, he found himself pushing through thick ivy leaves and using his flashlight to guide his way. he hadn't planned to stay this long today. it was a full moon and it was risky. he wouldn't say he was scared for his life, rather he was scared of losing everything he had brought with him. his important books and research. okay and maybe his life, just a little bit.

as if on cue, his thought of getting injured became reality when he slipped on mud and badly scratched his leg on a twig. a loud groan escaped him, but movement from the bushes that were close immediately shut him up. was this the end? he hadn't even said goodbye to his family. well, at least he would be remembered in the village. maybe they'd use his story to remind the kids not to go to the forest. maybe they'd change the saying from curiosity killed the cat, to curiosity killed soobin or something like that.

"are you okay?" suddenly his weird thoughts were interrupted. in front of him stood a fairy, not a wolf. a goddamn fairy! they were real and soobin didn't doubt it for a second.

he could easily tell you were a fairy. and a beautiful one at that. the moonlight outlined your sparkly wings and your pointy ears. you wore clothes made of fine soft material and jewelry decorated your features. you were ethereal. he was so lost in your eyes, he didn't notice you moving closer to inspect his wound.

"oh my god, your leg is bleeding badly! i can't let the forest guardian get hurt!" you said, your hands now bloodied. soobin raised a brow. forest guardian? he hadn't heard that term before. was he a forest guardian? what did that mean anyway? but before he could ask, as if you noticed he was about to do so, you rushed to blow a cloud of dust in his eyes which made him drowsy, and he fell asleep just like that.

the next day, he woke up in this bed. he checked for a scar where he had gotten hurt last night, but nothing was there. he still remembered he had gotten injured before seeing a fairy, but nothing else. he didn't have any evidence with him, so he was quick to spring on his feet and go to the same place again.

he walked through the same path, pushing the thick ivies out of the way and making sure to not step on anything this time. he didn't exactly recall the route as it was dark when he had first walked there, but it felt like his feet had a mind of its own and took him to the place.

this time the scenery was different, it was peaceful. the sun's rays made their way through the tree branches and provided light not only for the plants but for soobin to get a better look at his surroundings too. the grass was tall, it came up to his shin. flowers of different kinds, soobin couldn't name all of them off the top of his head, were in full bloom. birds could be heard chirping and he saw a squirrel running up a tree. it was weird how this place almost completely changed at night.

he sat down, resting his back on one of the tree trunks, and waited. you see, he didn't exactly have a plan. and this rarely happened as he always tried to be prepared, but his encounter with you yesterday was so... spontaneous, to say the least, that he didn't know how to make it happen again. he didn't know how to make you appear in front of him.

the only reason you were there was because he was injured. soobin looked around, nothing to hurt himself with. then he searched in his bag, he found a pocket knife. a small cut on his leg would do. he felt a stinging feeling before his thoughts averted from his fresh wound to approaching footsteps.

"you can't do that any time you want to see me." you said, towering over him with a worried expression. soobin smiled upon seeing your face, your pretty features.

"but it works though." he was quick to respond. he didn't usually act like this. to anyone who would have seen him right now, so friendly and sweet, they would've definitely thought that soobin had lost it. but it was simple. he was happy to have seen a fairy and he liked you. he had a feeling that you were very nice and kind, and that feeling was proven correct when you reached for his hurt leg and used your magic to heal him.

"i don't really need to do this since you're more powerful than me, but since you haven't manifested all your strength yet i'm gonna help you." the cut was covered in glowing yellow dust before it completely disappeared.

"what do you mean by more powerful? and manifesting my strength?" he asked, confused. you face palmed, before getting up and letting out a sigh.

"i told them not to let me work with the humans!" you mumbled, he still managed to hear you though. when he saw you were walking, he rushed to get up and grab your wrist. you turned around, looking into his eyes. they were filled with a sort of sadness, or rather disappointment, when you didn't answer his questions.

"i promise i mean no harm." his grip on your wrist fell when he said that. you knew. soobin was a forest guardian, after all, he wouldn't possibly harm his people. although he was in the shape of a human, you knew he still wouldn't hurt you.

"i... i need to go." you said, your wings lightly lifting you from the ground. he gave a sad smile, before nodding.

"i'll wait for you." and that he did. he waited minutes, hours. he didn't care. he wanted to see you. he needed to see you. he had so many questions, he at least deserved to get a few answers, right?

"i see you kept your promise." you said, peeking from the tree in front of him. soobin slowly opened his eyes after a nap and smiled when he saw you. he got up and walked closer, admiring every little thing about you. you were beautiful. that was not the point though.

"i was given permission to answer some of your questions, so fire away!" you sat on the soft grass, the setting sun perfectly hitting your face. soobin sat in front of you and cleared his throat before speaking.

"what did you mean when you said i have powers? and how am i a forest guardian?" he saw your face cringe before answering.

"you still remember that? i should really work on my memory-erasing skills... anyways, you've probably felt it. when you walk in the forest, you feel like you can talk to the animals or you can make the flowers bloom. that's because you can, those are some of your powers." you said, pausing after that. you knew soobin needed a minute to understand everything. he knew what feeling you were talking about. he had always felt it ever since he was young. except he never thought of it more as just a random feeling. but now you were telling him he had powers that related to that?

"you have those powers because you are one of the five guardians of this forest. soobin, i can't tell you why but currently you're in your human form. you're a fairy though, just like me." soobin's eyes widened in surprise and confusion. he was a forest guardian? him? but why?

"i know it's a lot to take in. i gave you the answers you wanted, and you can learn more along the way if you wish. now, you can either ask me to erase your memory, and i promise to do it right this time, and live your normal life." you started, holding his hands and looking deeply into his eyes. they were hard to read though, especially at this moment where soobin still looked lost. he tried to regain himself as he attentively listened to you.

"or?" he asked, "or you can return to your home, to the forest. with me and the rest of the fairies. you can learn and grow and become the guardian you truly are. but that is your choice." you squeezed his hands and he nodded. he told you he needed time, you understood. it wasn't an easy decision to make.

for the next few days, soobin continued to visit the forest. you showed him around. he got to see eerie trees, majestic lakes, pretty deer, cute bunnies, chirping birds, many unique bugs and so much more. he fell in love with the forest all over again. and he definitely felt a feeling of love and adoration toward you. it all happened so fast, in a span of a few weeks, he found himself not wanting to leave your side.

it wasn't likely for soobin to fall in love. in fact, it had never happened to him before. he didn't know what it felt like to love someone, he wasn't sure. but his heart beat for you, the butterflies in his stomach were almost always present. he felt at ease, he felt at home, he felt like he could be his true self with you, and you accepted him whole. that's what he considered love.

"you look very pretty right now." you gently said, running your fingers through his hair. his head was resting on your lap, you were both under the cool shade of a tree. there weren't many in the meadow so you were lucky to find one, especially one close to the calm crystalline river.

"only now?" he asked in a teasing tone, making you chuckle. you picked a flower and placed it in his hair.

"no, you always look pretty." he smiled, a soft shade of pink coating his cheeks. after all the time spend with you and the forest, he knew what he wanted to do.

"yn, i want to be a forest guardian. i promise i will do my best to make this place thrive." he opened his eyes, looking into yours. he was confident in his words, you couldn't help but smile. you loved that he was dedicated to the forest, that he cherished the same place as you. your home.

"i know soobin. you'll make the forest better. and i'll always be by your side to help you." you said, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. he grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on top, then a small peck on your fingers.

"that's all i need." he closed his eyes again and let the soft breeze fill his ears. he was sure nothing would be able to stop his process of making the magical forest better if he had you right beside him.

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a/n :: this idea came out of nowhere but i still hope you guys like it😋

©keikeu