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dunstory · 4 years ago

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Yellow

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, Panic Attack, Fluff

A/N: sooo, this is my first writing ever! all of this came from a dream i had last may, so i thought i could turn this into an imagine. also, there is a lot of lowercases because im to lazy to correct… sorry!! hope yall enjoy, feedback is appreciated!!

gif is not mine!

yellow, white and red lights came from everywhere. it was happening, the first twenty one pilots convention ever. there were some people with their yellow tapes and bandanas, some with their red beanies and white glasses, even some people cosplaying as the bishops.

everything looked great. unfortunately, you weren't able to stay with josh in the backstage because him and tyler had a lot of interviews to attend and stuff. so you had the chance to explore the convention as yourself. as a clikkie that you first were, not just as Josh Dun's girlfriend. of course, some people recognized you and asked for pictures, which you happily accepted.

you spent most of your time at the stand where the clikkies were playing their tøp covers. you were amazed by their talent and passion, it was just fascinating. you even got yourself to play heavydirtysoul on the drums with another dude, you never felt so cool.

and then it was time. their special concert was about to start. As you arrived to the area, the majority of the fans that were already there recognized you and insisted for you to stay in the front row. at first everything was great, until you actually went to your saved place and started hearing some comments about you.

"she's just not it."

"she doesn't belong here."

"i don't claim her."

"josh deserves WAY better than this."

"she's a whore. she only wants his money."

to say that you're insecure is an understatement, but you could deal with it occasionally, josh knew everything about it and was always there for you.

except for now.

all the overheard voices ignited a bad feeling that you forgot you ever had. it was it. 3 minutes before your boyfriend concert, and you were about to have a panic attack. you were glad that there were chairs for everyone, so you sat and breathed deeply and slowly, as you always practiced. you thought you were going to be ok, until a girl a few rows behind you yelled:

"look how excited she is for her boyfriend's concert!oh my god. she's the only one seated."

you were about to say something back until someone else yelled

"that bitch must be pregnant! she just wanted his baby so he could give her all his money, i am sure."

dear. lord.

"why didn't I just stay home" played repeatedly in your head. but you had to focus on josh, after all, you were there for him.

and just as you calmed down, the lights came to a halt and the concert started. to be honest, you were really glad that it was a pocket show so the boys couldn't interact that much physically with the crowd because the constant movement and yelling was making you dizzy and more overwhelmed by every second, so you were glad that josh wouldn't be able to se your visibly uncomfortable face.

you loved the boys' concerts, you truly did. but you just couldn't wait for this one to finish, to be honest.

at this point, you couldn't even pay attention to tyler's singing, you just had to focus on keeping yourself on its place. considering that you were on the verge of having a panic attack and you couldn't dare to sit down while you're feeling dizzy, nauseous and slowly losing your conscience.

gladly, you could still cry. people would just think that you were thrilled. so that's what you did. you ugly cried until you heard the last screams of "hello" from tyler, meaning that trees was about to end and so was the concert. you couldn't even believe it when the music came to a halt and all you could hear was screams and applauses. these were surely the longest 50 minutes of your life.

as the boys came to the front to bow, josh started to look for you and as he found your eyes, his heart dropped. he knew you too well. he knew you weren't crying because of the concert, bur yes because of something else, most likely your anxiety got the best of you.

he was feeling so bad for you, for having left you alone and now seeing you in this state. he felt and the guilty over him. in a matter of seconds, after tyler said "we're twenty one pilots and so are you" he whispered something in a rush in his ear and he nodded, giving him the permission to run to you.

as he reached you, you started crying even more. you were too overwhelmed at this point. he then grabbed your hands firmly and asked "hey, hey, easy. are you ok?" and you shook your head weakly, feeling like you wouldn't last too long.

"ok, do you think you can jump this grid?" he asked and you nodded with a weak smile. with a help of two securities and the strong arms of your loved one, you made it to his arms. he grabbed you in bridal style and rushed out of the convention center, while kissing your forehead.

at this point, you were crumbling completely, letting all your feelings out. you were embarrassed, nervous, overwhelmed but above all, relieved for being finally in the arms of the man you loved the most. when you arrived outside, josh sat on the floor with you on his arms. he held you tightly, never wanting to let you go, he loved you so much that he couldn't put into words, so he demonstrated with actions, all the time.

and the same goes for you, you adored him, you never felt such as a thing as you felt your love for josh, it was overwhelming, but in good way actually.

he didn't ask you any questions. he just held you, kissing your forehead, massaging your back and eventually taking your hair out of your face. he stayed in silence with you, just gesturing with his hands the breathing exercises that you both had been practicing. once he made sure your breath was controlled, he just made his magic.

"and it was all yellow..." he sang lowly, only enough for you and him to listen.

it was like the whole world stopped, and it was just you and him. he forgot about his problems and commitments, even the meet&greet's that were about to happen after the show, he forgot they existed, his priority was you and you only.

"your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones..." he kept singing, shyly but doing it all for you.

you couldn't believe this, your favorite song being sang by your favorite person. he knew just the right buttons to press to make you feel like yourself again. you could feel your tears slowly drying and you smiled weakly against his chest, feeling the comfort you could never get tired of. feeling your smile encouraged josh to sing louder, as a way to also express his feelings, especially what he felt for you.

"turn in to something beautiful..."

you knew it wasn't going to be the last time you were going to hear his pretty voice sing. now that you knew that he would do this for you, you would always get the best of it. at this point, you were almost crying of joy. he was too sweet for you.

"do you know, you know i love you so.."

now, you had forgotten about the last one and a half hours of your life. you were back into your reality, where you felt good and happy, all of this because you had this yellow headed smiley boy by your side, always. to make an honor to him, you got all the strength you had left after crying a river and sang the last verse with him.

"you know i love you so... much." you nearly whispered the last word.

as he heard your tired voice, josh looked down at you with pure love in his eyes, that face that once was full of concern was now relaxed again, as the smile that he loved so much was returned to you.

all you knew was that you're going to be okay, it didn't matter what'd have to deal later in social media and press. you were okay, and while Josh was by your side, you'd always be. no matter what. even if he was comforting you from a panic attack in the middle of a sidewalk. it was just okay. after all, for him, you'd bleed yourself dry. and so would him for you.

#josh dun #yellow #twenty one pilots #fanfic #joshua dun #josh dun imagines #twenty one pilots imagines #josh dun imagine #twenty one pilots fan fiction #josh dun x reader

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muffindaddystyles · 4 years ago

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𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

Where Harry's five years old bubba gets lost in a park while playing hide and seek. You help her to find her daddy.

Warning: Emotional and whole lot of fluff <3

Pastel tutu frock, a lil bucket hat and shoes that makes 'puch.' 'puch.' noises when she waddles with her adorable toddler gait chasing her father.

It's still early in the morning less people more relieved Harry that he could spent some affectionate time with his lovin' little girl of four out in the park, as a single father he dresses her with more fashion indulgment than any mother could.

Cheeky smug He's. Kinda proud of it.

They were playing hide and seek a bit far from their picnic basket ontop of checkered blanket along her toys. She came all the way from their home to car and car to park sitting on her daddy's shoulders.

"Dawwy! That's cheatin'." She stomped her dainty feet into sodden lush grass underneath and Harry grinned booping her button nose just like his's, "cheeky bugger." He watched her in amusement when she caught his slender finger with her chubby ones, pouting cutely at him.

"Kay. lovie' we're gonna play, again." He assured her raising his palms in air taking two steps back at once, "this time no cheatin', promise." She bobbed her head enthusiasticly running to hide behind the nearest largest oak tree as her daddy told her not to go too far from him ever.

Harry was rounding her from other side when too impatient she went to found Harry on other side, "daw'wy!?" Her flight of run like a dove in sky was startled when she found her tall, curly head daddy nowhere in sight.

She toddled further away even though Harry has instructed her never to leave a certain place no matter what, her daddy would find her at the same spot if something happens.

"Bubba? love bug'?" He frowned as his daughter who just hid behind the same bark vanished. Not getting anxious he strided back to their spot but she wasn't there.

She has come so far away in search of her daddy at first she told herself that "she's daddy's big girl." . "she would get back to him and he'd give her alot of kisses." But then she got scared seeing alot of people here and there. Her ending point of bravery was when some little pal hit her with soft ball.

The pool of tears bursted like rainfall from her soft warm eyes, staining her coral chunky cheeks and she rubbed her glossy eyelids with the back of her hand with series of hiccups making her vision more blurry.

You were sitting under a shade reading a copy of Little Women. Eyes flickering when you poked your tongue out to collect some moist on your finger to turn the paper, right then your eyes fell over the cutest fuzz of a lil girlie crying with painful fat tears waddling her way lost towards the pond and with a loud gasp you left everything running towards her before she was too close to it.

"Hey. hey kiddo." You reached at the mean time quickly scooping her up in your arms and she sobbed out loudly, "dawwy!" You stroked her hair as she snoggled her snotty nose and moist face in the crook of your neck.

"Honey are you lost?" You tried to calm her down by rubbing soothing circles at her back and she nodded with incoherent blabbering.

"Lemme me help you, yeah? Do you know your parent's names." You asked her politely taking her back to where you were sitting under the large tree and she pulled her face out murmuring a tiny, "yesh." You beamed at her giving her a thumbs up.

"You're doing so good, darlin'." You tucked her loose curls under her ear and she tells you her father's name, "Hawwy. S'tyles." She doesn't have her way with 's and t's.' sounds so it was 'yles.' coming from her mouth and you had to comprehend it yourself.

"Honey you know his number?" She counts on her fingers as Harry made her learn his phone number in case of any emergency like this but she's so anxious she forgot, silent tears again spilling out from her struggle. "Sh. sh. lovie'. S'okay, you're okay. you're safe with me." You cooes at her softly wiping her tears and kissing her cheeks gently rocking her on your knees.

"B-but. dawwy!" She hiccups badly and you made her sip water, feeling pitiful for the poor bub.

"Bubs we're gonna find your daddy, yeah? you and me together are a whole power puff team!" You again rock her cheerfully standing up with her on your hip. Taking the challenge on yourself to find her daddy in no less time.

On the other hand Harry was loosing his mind. He pulled at his hair anxiously, worry drowning him into deep. Scared for his bubba. She's so little im this huge park. Harry never lets her dodge from under his wings and now he's on verge of getting a panic attack. He should have never came to park. He went from one person to another showing his petal's picture to them hands trembling as he did so.

"Sh-she's fou'. Little pink hat, tutu frock. Chocolate c-curls in specific." He gesticulated voice wavering and with everyone denying he went absolute crazy.

Tears glistening in his eyes and he's feeling as if he'd stop breathing. Putting his hand over where his heart is he took long strides of the whole park which's too big and in the end he fell on his knees with a thud onto grass when he couldn't find his only life, the piece of his heart nowhere. Sobbing loudly that made him bent outwards.

They live near by so he quickly dialed gemma. When she heard him sobbing onto speaker she abruptly stood up scaring Anne too, "Harry what happened?" She asked worriedly.

"Harry talk to me." She tried in a calming voice and he stuttered even causing Gemma to lost her breath, "d-dovie. lost her gem. fuckin' lost her. Couldn't find her." She was quick to act not telling Anne and assuring her she would in their car ride.

Harry was falling into his mum's embrace when they rushed to security department where Harry's at as the cops assured him that they'll find his daughter safe and unharmed.

He whimpered soaking her shirt. Whole body shaking, "can't lost her mum, she's the only one I've." She tried to calm him getting rid of her own tears.

"S'been two hours I've been searching her like a mad man. I'll fuckin' die if somethin' happens to her." At this Anne scolded him as gemma hugged him reassuring him. "It's m'fault. All m'fault." His tears and emotions were all where and he blamed himself.

"Shit father. never gonna forgive myself." Anne sighed shakily stroking his head. She has never seen her son crippling to this edge.

"She's fine. We'll find her."

Your back sweaty as the sun shines on you mercilessly while you hurriedly walked with Dove on your hip, her head on your shoulder resting sadly while you fanned her continuously with the paper fan and you breathed hunching a little seeing that some security department's few steps away from you. But, it's the one opposite from where Harry and his family are.

You immediately went to first table not waiting for your breaths to get back to normal, "hi. This's Dove Styles. Four. Lost." You informed them and they made you sit at the bench.

She was getting all tired and limpy from the crying. So you took her in your lap tucking her head under your armpit, "daddy's soon gonna come okay dove darlin'? Then he's gonna collect you fuzz baby in his arms." You took out a box of juice from your backpack tapping the straw against her rosy lips and you took in her features thinking how beautiful her daddy must be to her be this cute.

Even though her daddy has sternly taught her never to accept things from strangers but the poor babe's so exhausted she did.

Some cop came cop telling you they've found her daddy that he's at the other security building but you shook your head stubbornly squeezing her near to your chest. Because well you don't trust anybody not even the cops, most importantly not when it's a child.

"Tell her daddy to come take his child from here." The cop grunts at you. "Annoying lady." but you ignored him checking on dove cleaning her hands that were sticky from her drinking juice like how toddlers do.

You were hot on your feet when three panicked figures came rushing inside Dove on your hip and you asked her, "is that your da—" but you were cut off from her yearning cry.

"Dawwy!" It was like sky and ground meeting as Dove latched into Harry's arms, he was too ripped to shreds and with a loud whimper he feel stingingly onto tiled floor firm grip around his dovie's neck, forearm wrapped around her little body protectively. He clutched onto her for dear life, sponging endless kisses to her visible skin.

"Thought I lost ye' bubba...really thought–" He said in between wet kisses his tears smudging her cheeks and the duo's reunion infront of you made you sentimental too. "Never scare daddy like this dove. m'heart stopped." She muttered a 'sowwy.' At his anxious rambling.

"Forgive me, dovie. Daddy's bad." She shook her head. The four year old's too soft from heart to know what emotions are scowling at her daddy with her chubby palms pushing into his cheeks, "no dada." You smiled at her when she glanced back at you.

"Y/n helped mew. She say we were power puff girls." You chuckled that she still remembers ruffling her hair, "see? Told ya daddy was gonna find you." Harry rubs his nose wiping his tears standing up.

"Thank you so much, can't thank you enough." You found his voice so mellow even after hoarseness, "s'okay. She's safe that all matters." Anne and gem nodded while talking to Dove in baby voices telling her how worried they all got.

You were walking outside while talking to Harry, "and thank ye' fo' not trusting anybody you know...and no' lettin' her go." You assured him shaking his hand.

"No problem." You leaned down a little kissing her cheek, "and dove honey never go near to ponds, yeah?" She said a lil 'okie." wrapping herself tight around her father.

"Oh my god, dovie?" He asked her horrid at what could happen taking her chin but you quickly rambled not wanting to make him feel more panicked and anxious.

"She was crying and in haze that's why, she's okay now Mr. Styles."

"I owe you y/n. And please just call me, Harry." You nodded sheepishly now. Muttering a what the hell you fool at yourself and gemma quipped.

"Yes. Please have lunch with us?"

"Pwease?" You laughed out aloud at dove's innocent pleading deciding to let your English class go and bobbing your head at which Harry grinned, "perfect."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #cute harry #fluff #harry angst #harry smut #hsh #imagines #harry #angst with a happy ending

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simonsrosebud · 4 years ago

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maybe 3, 16, or 18 on the angst ones??? im in a mood

NOT CANON IN THE KALTON AU

it’s may when dalton breaks up with kevin.

it’s right before their practice of the year when kevin catches dalton’s call. he stops in the hall on the way to the lounge to answer it. “hey, what’s up? i’m about to go change out, but want me to come around after?”

“um, i think, maybe, it’s better if you don’t, kevin.”

and he frowns. “why, what’s wrong? are you okay?”

“i just, i’m going through some things right now, and i just think it’s better if i were to do it alone.”

“oh... well, you know i’m always here. just call me later?”

“kevin...”

kevin’s heart starts beating faster. “yeah?”

“i don’t just mean alone for a day.”

kevin leans back against the wall. “what... what do you mean?” he whispers.

“i mean alone as in, um... without a boyfriend.”

no. “dalton, whatever it is, i-i’ll do better, i promise.”

dan is the only other person at the stadium yet, and stops in the doorway to the girls locker room when she hears the conversation. she doesn’t want to pry, but if she’s right, and what’s about to happen really happens then she doesn’t want to leave kevin here alone.

“i’m sorry, kevin-“

“no, hey, please-“

“i-i gotta go.”

“dalton, please!” but the line is already dead, and kevin doesn’t mean to, but he drops his phone in the process of turning and pressing his forehead against the wall.

he tries holding everything in, but he can feel himself starting to panic, and when dan turns him around with a gentle “it’s okay” he nearly crumples because it’s not okay. he doesn’t know what’s going on.

dan drives him over to dalton’s apartment, and thank god kevin has a key, but when he gets inside it’s still and quiet. and the coffee maker is gone and the closet is open and near empty. the chargers next to the bed are gone and that’s when kevin drops to his knees and presses his hands to the floor because dalton up and left for the summer without warning.

he’s gone, and kevin can’t do anything about it.

he lets out a sob, followed by heavy breathing and a weight so deep in his chest that he can’t get up. his hands are shaking over his mouth, and his vision is blurry before he squeezes his eyes shut.

he takes a deep breath, but his exhale is a sob, and he leans forward with his arms around his stomach.

he can’t breathe.

dan comes to find him a few minutes later, and when she tries putting her arms around him he sounds like he’s in pain. she pulls him upright to lean on her instead. he clings like his life depends on it, hands clenched in the back of her t-shirt.

when she gets him up enough to get him back to the suite, she makes him promise he’ll be okay before making it to the stadium. she’s a little bit late for practice, and by the time she gets onto the court neil already started. it’s supposed to be a captains practice, so she gives him credit for taking over as vice captain.

“where’s kevin?”

“last minute appointment with betsy.”

neil nods. he knows better than to want to ask.

dan checks the time every ten minutes it feels. she needs this to be over.

meanwhile, kevin’s lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. a weight back in his chest and tears silently crawling from his eyes.

he just wants to feel numb.

he looks to the kitchen.

kevin drinks. he drinks so much that he throws up.

he wants to be numb, but it’s not working. which is why he drinks some more.

wymack comes by at the end of practice and calls dan over after watching everyone shuffle out. “kevin?”

she hesitates. “um, dalton broke up with him right before practice, and up and left for the summer before we could get to his place. he-he was a mess, coach, he could barely function. probably on the verge of a panic attack.”

and that peeks his attention in a different way that the first thing did, because he curses under his breath and turns. “you left him alone? at the tower?” she nods, and he curses again. “come on, fast, danielle!” she doesn’t usually see coach running for no reason, which makes her high tail it to his car.

wymaca rambles a bit on the way there. “every time i’ve seen that kid have a meltdown without dalton to rely on it was before they were together, and it always ended with alcohol.” his fingers tapped on the wheel. “i don’t fucking care if he breaks sobriety so long as he’s not dying of fucking alcohol poisoning right now. i know him. i know how much he loves that fucking kid. he can not be alone right now.”

and dan can’t tell if he’s seething or worried out of his mind, or both. but either way, she hasn’t seen him like this since neil went missing and kevin told them it probably wasn’t an accident.

womack has keys to all of their suite’s for emergencies, but kevin’s door is open. andrew and neil were straight on their way to columbia from practice, so he’s the only one there.

wymack bursts in, and kevin’s drunk out of his mind sitting on the floor against the cabinets. he shakes his head when he sees his father, and stands. dan doesn’t think he could make it across the room if he tried.

“m’fine, m’fine!” he leans back against the counter. “s’probably my fault, anyway.”

he reaches for a bottle of vodka on the counter, and when wymack beats him to it he tries grabbing it. “come on.”

“no-“

“please! dan, i-“

“no, kevin!” wymack is holding him back, a hand on his chest and the other around him to try and keep him still as he pushes against wymack.

“just don’t wanna feel!” kevin cries out. he goes limp against wymack and starts to crumble. “hurts so bad, i just- i just wanna be numb from it all.” his voice is weak, and he sinks to the ground. he covers an arm around his face. “please just take it away.” he begs. “please, please, help. i-i can’t, i can’t,” he sobs. dan drops beside him and pulls his head to her shoulder. “i love him so much,” he whispers. “i dunno what to do.”

she casts a pleading look to wymack, because all she knows to do is rub his back and try to shush him to calm down.

“hey, look at me.” wymack takes kevin’s chin, gently. dan backs off. “this is going to suck. but you’re going to get up tomorrow, and you’re going to call him up and demand an explanation. i don’t care if you have to fly to his house, dammit, you’ll do it. because after your mother left there wasn’t a day i didn’t regret not going after her, okay? cause look what she left me, kevin.” he raises an eyebrow. “you.” he sticks a finger to kevin’s chest.

kevin nods. “i want him so bad.”

“then you’ll go after him. whether it works out or not.”

kevin sleeps on wymack’s sofa that night.

and in the morning, he’s woken up by knocking on the door.

kevin’s head is pounding, but he already threw up everything he could last night.

he trudges to the door, but the person behind it makes him take a step back. he wants to jump forward and hug him, but it hurts him too much to actually want to go through with it.

“what are you doing here,” he whispers. he crosses his arms. he probably smells like alcohol and vomit.

dalton looks desperate, and he falters on what he wants to say, so kevin jumps in again. “can i just… can you just tell me what i did wrong?” he bites the inside of his cheek. he knows it’ll be easy getting him emotional what with just waking up. “i know i’ve got baggage, but just-just tell me why. cause i just woke up and i’m all torn up and hungover, so i-i just need to know. please.”

dalton frowns. “i… you promised you’d stop drinking-“

“and you promised you wouldn’t hurt me!” kevin’s voice cracks. “any other lies left to tell me?” and he takes a deep breath. “please, dalton, i just need to know why you’d fucking do this to me!” he messily wipes his eye with the cuff of his sleeve.

“you left without explanation, and-and i… i feel like i’m always going through something, but you’re the reason i’ve come out just fine! i just wanna be that for you, but instead you thought breaking up would be the better option? how-how do you think that makes me feel? to think that my boyfriend doesn’t think i can comfort him? that he’d rather be a-alone?” he’s starting to get worked up, and wipes his eyes again. he takes a deep breathe.

dalton has tears in his eyes. “i’m sorry,” he whispers. “i’m so, so, sorry. that wasn’t… i didn’t mean that. that’s not what i think, i didn’t mean to leave you thinking that. and,” he looks away for a second. “can i just explain? from the beginning? i-i want you, i don’t wanna ruin this, and i hope i haven’t already.”

you haven’t. i just want you.

but kevin lets him in. he doesn’t sit, but he at least lets him inside and closes the door. he’s sure his father is hiding out in his office or bedroom. he’s a light sleeper, and they weren’t exactly being quiet.

dalton starts. “um, my grandmother died yesterday morning, and my grandfather was admitted to the hospital almost right after, and-and my family doesn’t know why,” he says. “and i was a mess, but i knew you had practice- i would’ve gone home right away regardless, but i-i didn’t wanna put all my family problems on you, cause you’ve already got enough. but, i, um, i was almost to maryland and i wanted- i knew i had to turn around, cause i was a fucking asshole, but it was already late and i probably would’ve fallen asleep at the wheel, so i stopped home to sleep for a few hours and now…” he meets kevin’s eyes again.

“i just can’t lose you, and i was stupid and a dick, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this. kevin please, i’m… i’m so sorry.” kevin notices how dalton holds back on reaching out to him. “is there any way i can fix it?”

kevin looks to the side, arms crossed. “you’ve probably dealt with so much fucked shit with me and my family,” my foxes, “family problems don’t scare me, d. i love you so much that i sat on my knees in your apartment having a panic attack… i… i don’t wanna do the whole thing where i take a few days away from you,” he says. “i can be there for you like you’ve done for me, i swear, but you just, like, you have to talk to me. cause i can’t do that again. so many things went through my head that i can’t go through again. i-i can’t be left so broken that it makes me wanna be numb enough to drink.”

this time, he lets dalton wipe a tear under his eye. he speaks quiet. “i’m humiliated by that. i never want to break my sobriety again.”

dalton nods. “i’m so sorry i broke my promise.”

“mine too.”

“no.” he shakes his head. “that’s different. and i should’ve talked to you, told you why i did what i did, even if it was stupid.”

kevin nods. “can you hold me?” he whispers.

dalton doesn’t waste time, and wraps his arms around kevin, who sinks into his embrace. “i’ll make you a new promise. one i can keep.” dalton speaks into kevin’s hair. “i promise to communicate better and talk to you, no matter what.”

kevin slides his arms around dalton’s neck. “i promise i’ll call someone if i ever get the urge to drink alone again.” and then, “i’m sorry about your grandmother.” he knows which one it is, too, because his grandmother on his mother’s side passed when dalton was a child. this one kevin met a few months back, even.

he pulls back, and cups dalton’s face. “i’m here for you, okay?”

dalton nods, and he tilts his head into kevin’s hand. “i don’t think it’ll hit me for a while. the funeral is in three days.” he pauses. “you don’t have to, but-“

“i’ll be there with you.”

dalton cups his hand around kevin’s on his face and brings his knuckles to his lips. “i’ll make all of this up to you.” kevin kisses his forehead. “i love you,” dalton whispers.

i’m now realizing i forgot to include angst #16 aka “you’ve changed” but it’s probably better for my own sanity that i didn't bc that one just makes me think of “they break up and run into each other months/years later” which i can NOT do to my boys LOL

#kevin day #bisexual kevin day #the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is #OC: dalton miller #dalton miller #kevin day x dalton miller #exy #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the foxes #palmetto state university #palmetto state foxes #dan wilds #andrew minyard #neil josten #david wymack #kayleigh day

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s3r-en-d1p-ity · 5 years ago

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just friends - t. chalamet x reader

been getting in my Timmy feels lately and haven’t posted in a hot minute since I keep procrastinating so here’s a timmy imagine

pairing: platonic!timothée x platonic!reader

warnings: lil angst, mentions of drugs, just some platonic fluff and some swearing

part 2 , part 3

You and Timothée met years ago, back in 2015. He was 19 and you were 17. You ran into each other at an awards show and clicked. You knew from the moment you started talking that there would be a friendship.

As time passed, you got closer and closer until you were inseparable. Only a few months after you met, you had opened up to him.

“My dad’s been in jail for 10 years,” You shrugged, sliding down the wall next to Timothée, who had his back pressed against the door and his legs spread out wide in front of him.

He looked over at you, with curious eyes. He wanted to ask, but didn’t want to pry. You noticed the look, and smiled sadly. “He killed my mom.”

His breath got caught in his throat, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have much to say, and he didn’t want to pity you. So he just grabbed your hand that was resting on your knee and scooted closer to you.

He didn’t treat you different, or give you pity, and you admired that. You knew there was something different about the boy.

You were a singer, and he was an actor. So obviously, your lives were very different and you both had very different schedules that made it hard to see each other. Especially when you were on tour and he was shooting in a completely different place. There was a whole month where you didn’t get to talk to each other because your time zone differences were constantly switching and when you were up, he was asleep and when you were asleep, he was up. But when you got to talk again, it was like nothing had changed.

The longest you went without seeing each other was 9 months. Those 9 months were hell, but you were proud of Timmy because he had gotten one of his biggest movie roles yet and he was proud of you because you sold out every single show on your tour.

The doorknob to your apartment jiggled, and you sat up warily because the only person who had a key to your apartment was Timmy.

Timmy.

You jumped up, at the same time he opened the door. There he was, in all his glory, your best friend. He closed the door behind him and smiled at you.

“Long time no see, stranger.” He joked. It took you a minute to fully comprehend what was happening, but once you did, you were running across the room and jumping onto him.

He stumbled back a bit, but hugged you back tightly. He squeezed you and lifted you up off the ground, burying his face in your neck. It gave him a sense of home, and made him smile.

“You told me you weren’t coming home for another 3 weeks.” You mumbled, your hands clenching the back of his shirt.

“Ended filming early,” He replied. “Took the first plane back.” His curly hair tickled your cheek and you smiled. You didn’t realize how much you missed Timmy’s hugs and the way he clung to you so tightly.

You think that maybe that’s when you realized you had a little crush on Timothée.

Yeah. Had. As in, after a while you realized how much that would ruin your friendship and pushed your feelings away. Eventually, it worked.

You’re glad it worked, because a few months later, Timothée got a girlfriend. Her name was Reilyn.

He spent all of his time with her. You thought back a few months ago, and thanked God you didn’t still have feelings for him, because if you did, you’d be crushed to death.

At first, you didn’t mind. You were happy Timmy was happy. Then, he started ignoring your calls and ditching your plans to hang out with her. You let it slide for a while, but when he showed up 3 hours late to your birthday party, you brought it up.

He defended Reilyn, of course. And that started one of your biggest and only fights.

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You woke up to your bed sinking. You were a light sleeper, always had been. The slightest noise or touch woke you up.

You groaned, shifted around and opened your eyes to see Timothée sitting at the side of your bed. “Hi,” He whispered. You didn’t respond, just stared up at him.

Then your mind replayed the events of the past 2 days, and you wanted to crawl in a hole and die. “What do you want? I just want to sleep right now.” You grumbled, burying your face back in your pillow.

“You’re naked.” He noted, his eyes running over your bare back, not covered by the sheets.

“No shit, sherlock.” You scoffed, mad at him. “I had a guy over. I asked him to leave.”

Timothée was silent for a while. For a second, you thought he had left. Then you heard his soft breathing. “You called me a lot yesterday and today. What’s wrong?”

Anger bubbled in your stomach, and you clenched your fist around the sheets. “It doesn’t concern you anymore. You were with Reilyn.” You spat, not bothering to hide the venom in your voice.

“I’m sorry, y/n/n. My phone’s been shut off, it was our year anniversary. Please, just tell me what’s wrong.” He pleaded, his hand finding your back.

You didn’t respond. You didn’t want to think about it, or talk about it. You’d be reliving it all over again, and that’s the last thing you wanted. Timothée pulled the covers over you, pushed you over, and crawled into your bed. He turned you so you were facing him and froze when he saw the tears in your eyes.

“Please.” He sighed, gripping your forearm. You gulped, looking away from him.

“Josh called me yesterday.” You started. Josh was your brother. After your mom died, your then 15-year-old brother decided you guys should go live with your aunt, here in California. He began using drugs, more and more as time passed.

“oh.” Timothée breathed out. He met him once. He was worried for the dude, because he looked like he would collapse any second. In all honesty, Timothée didn’t have any words. He felt guilt piling up because he wasn’t there for his best friend.

“I met him at a cafe. For a while, it was small talk. Then he asked me for money. Of course he asked me for money. He told me it was for gas, but him and I both knew I wasn't buying that. I left after and that’s when I called you. And you didn’t pick up. Then, later that night, I got a call from the hospital and they told me he OD’d. That’s the second time I called you. I went to the hospital, waited for 3 hours to get at least some information, and I was on the verge of a panic attack, that’s the 3rd time I called you.

Two hours later, when I went home to shower and get him some clothes, I came back and the doctor told me he discharged himself. I tried to get a hold of him for 3 more hours, looked through all of the sketchiest streets in L.A. for him, then gave up and went back to my apartment only to find it trashed and Josh asleep in my bathtub. I called you. When he woke up, we got in a huge fight and he took cash from my wallet and left. At least a couple hundred bucks. Then I called you again. So I called Jack over, we fucked, and then I asked him to leave. Then I called you for the last time, and went to bed.” You ended, turning away from him.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” He croaked out, and you knew he was crying. You wanted to yell at him, wanted to scream at him, and wanted to blame Reilyn, but you weren’t like that. So you didn’t do it, and let him hold you and tell you he was sorry.

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You walked into your dressing room, breathing heavily. Another night, another show. You found Timothée on the floor. His back was resting against the couch, and he was playing with a rubix cube. He looked up when you closed the door behind you.

“Hey superstar.” He laughed. “Amazing show.”

You smiled, walking over to him. He pulled you down, right between his legs. You let your back rest against his chest and put your head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around your middle. “Seriously, you did great.”

A couple days after the whole fiasco where Timo didn’t answer his phone, he broke up with Reilyn. You felt guilty but he assured you it was for the best and that it wasn't your fault at all. That was almost 5 months ago. You were back on tour and Timmy wasn’t shooting so he was able to come to a lot of your shows.

Your fingers drummed on Timmy’s knee absentmindedly. Times like these made time go so fast, but slow down at the same time. You felt at home, a haze over you that only Timmy could make you feel. In a strictly platonic way, you reminded yourself. “Timmy?” You mumbled, grabbing his knee.

“Yes?” He replied, muffled by your hair.

“I love you. Thank you for being there for me, always.” You sighed, feeling his arms squeeze you and his lips press to the back of your head.

“I love you more, y/n/n.”

sorry. really wanted something to post and low-key wanted to make this a little series where she realizes her feelings are coming back but I wanted to see if people liked this first. also, im a new writer so sorry if this is crappy ahahaha

if u want to see a lil series for this lmk and i’ll try and make it happen without procrastinating :)

#timothee chalamet #timothee smut #timothee chalamet imagine #timothee imagine #timothee #timothée chalamet icons #timothee fanfic #timothee chalamet fanfic #timothee chalamet x reader #Timothee chalamet angst

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watchmegetobsessed · 6 years ago

Text

Señorita - Shawn Mendes (pt 2)

yall went crazy for my senorita imagine, thank you for the love you showed it, now im bringing you part 2!! im having an amazing time writing about bad boy shawn, not sure how long this will turn out to be but i hope yall will stick with me during this journey! literally spent my last 24 hours writing it so i can bring the second part as soon as possible and im sooo excited about it!!

5k of angst, fluff and pure anxiety

ALSO for that nosy ass anon, i inserted a keep reading function, hope your life is happy now :)))))))))) (though its not showing on the app for me only on pc and this is why i dont fuck around with these kind of stuff)

part 1 - part 3

masterlist

Three days. It has been three day since you spent the night with Shawn. He promised to come by the diner the next day but he never showed up. By the end of your shift you were basically a nerve-wreck, hoping to find him leaning against his bike outside, but the parking lot was painfully empty.

You don’t even have his number. For fuck’s sake, you don’t even know if he has a phone! These three days just gave you a million opportunities to think about how stupid you were to fall for his games. He probably never thought of you as more than just a one night stand. It even crossed your mind that you might have just been a bet with his stupid friends and you willingly gave his victory to him. Anger, hatred, disappointment and regret fueled your body that night when he failed to show up as promised. You wanted to cry, scream and shout, but at the end you felt like it’s just… not worth it.

“Rosie, you know I love you, but I can’t keep up with my and your tables as well,” you tell your favorite co-worker once you are back in the kitchen and find her sitting on the counter top, scrolling through her phone.

“I’m sorry, but this is just blowing my mind,” she tells you, her eyes wide at the screen while you put the dirty dishes into the sink and start rinsing them off, something you always do to make the work of the kitchen staff easier.

“What’s so important that you can’t do your job?” you ask a little annoyed, but more curious.

“There was a huge scuffle downtown like an hour ago.”

“What?” you snap, your stomach immediately dropping. You squeeze yourself up to her side as she scrolls through the short news article. It doesn’t say much, only that the police was called because probably two rival gangs had a fight and someone heard a gunshot as well. Two guys were caught, but you know neither of them is Shawn because they would have already made sure everyone in town knows Shawn Mendes was caught.

“Damn it,” you mumble, your thoughts racing faster than ever.

You might be hating on the guy, but you definitely don’t want him to get hurt. That gunshot makes your stomach churn when you think that the bullet might have ended up in him for all you know.

“What the fuck are you two doing here?” Rob’s voice makes both of you jump as he stares at you in disbelief. His mouth in a disapproved grimace under his rather disgusting mustache, his hands on his hips. “I’m not paying you to chit-chat in the kitchen. Get out and do your job!”

Rosie and you rush out, leaving the steamy kitchen behind as you quickly start pretending like you are so busy with work, just until Rob disappears in his office again, not giving a flying fuck about what’s going outside.

You take some orders and bring out some drinks before going back to the kitchen to hide behind the fridge. Pressing your back to the wall you slide down and hug your knees to your chest, not able to get Shawn out of your mind. The painful inertia is just killing you, not even knowing where he is and if he is okay.

Your mind leaves your body by the end of your shift. You keep messing the orders up and you can’t stop apologizing, but you just couldn’t get Shawn off of your mind and you hate him for that. The thought of going to bed seems like heaven to you when you arrive to your house. You slide your key into the lock, but you notice the door is not locked and you freeze.

Can it be that you forgot to lock the door this morning? You were pretty tired, it would make sense, but it’s not something that has happened before.

Reaching into your bag you grab your pepper spray, ready to defend yourself against anything that’s waiting for you inside. You slowly open the door, walking inside as quiet as possible, holding the spray up as your eyes scan the room. Nothing seems to be odd, Gordon walks out of the bathroom so calmly that he almost convinces you there is no one else in the house, but you’re still not sure about that.

Brushing himself against your leg he purrs for you before moving to the couch and curling up on one of the pillows. You are just about to believe that the place is clear when you hear a noise coming from the bathroom.

You glance at Gordon as if he could tell you what it was, after all he just came out of there and didn’t seem to be bothered. You make your way towards the bathroom, still holding the spray up. Pushing the door open you step inside and suddenly a hand wraps around your wrist.

“Fuck!” you scream, your finger missing the top of the spray and you even drop it, almost pissing your pants.

“Hey, it’s just me!” you hear a familiar voice but it can’t stop your body from shaking like a leaf.

You finally make Shawn’s tall figure out in the dark, his large hands taking yours as he pulls you closer to him and you let him do so.

“Shit, Shawn!” you gasp on the verge of tears. You’ve never been more scared for your life. His arms wrap around your body as he holds you tight, your face pressed against the hot skin of his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispers gently stroking your hair as you slowly calm down, recovering from your heart-attack.

Once you are back, mind and body functioning again you firmly push him away from you, letting your frustration explode out of you.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” you snap at him, but your anger quickly disappears when you see his face turn into a painful grimace as his hands cover his ribs on his right side, close to where you just pushed him. “Oh my God, what’s wrong?” you panic, quickly reaching for the light switch.

You can’t believe your eyes when you see the huge bruise on his side. It’s as big as his hand twice and the colors are not too promising either as his skin is painted in blue, green, purple and red making up a galaxy-like patch on his torso.

“Shit, I think it’s broken,” you gasp taking a better look at it.

“It’s alright, I just need some ice on it,” he breathes out, trying his best to cover up his pain, but you see right through him.

“Come on.”

You pull him out of the small bathroom, making him sit on the couch. Gordon eyes him curiously as he holds his hand to his side while you jog to the fridge. You grab the icepack from freezer and return to him, kneeling down in front of him, gently peeling his hand off of his wound.

“How did you even get into my house?” you ask as you gently put the icepack to his side and he hisses from the sudden feeling.

“Keys under the flowerpot? Pretty predictable,” he smirks at you between two grimaces as his hand takes up your hand’s place on the pack and he holds it to his side. You mentally note to look for a better hiding spot for your spare key.

“And what were you doing in the bathroom in the dark?”

“I uh… I wanted to lay down in the bathtub, hoping it would feel nice and cold.”

“But I don’t have a bathtub.”

“Yeah, I figured it out right when you got home.”

Leaning back on the couch he keeps his eyes closed and you’re not sure what you should do now. Should you kick him out? Or ask what the fuck happened in the past few days? You realize you are not even in a real relationship to question him about his whereabouts.

Standing up you are about to go to the kitchen for some water maybe when his eyes pop open and grabbing your hand he pulls you down next to him.

“Where are you going?”

“To get some water?”

“No need for that,” he smiles at you tiredly as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, trying to make you cuddle to his side that’s not beaten up, but you move back. “What’s wrong?”

“Shawn, you can’t just appear after days and pretend like nothing really happened.”

“Are you mad because I disappeared?”

He tries to pull you back to him, but you need space. You hop to your feet and he follows you, putting the height difference to your list of anxieties. You can’t think straight when he is towering above you with his defined jawline and hazel eyes.

“You disappeared, got into a fight and then broke into my house bruised up, expecting me to just pretend like it’s normal. It’s not normal for me, Shawn.”

“I know,” he sighs and for the first time you see him anxious, though he is doing a good job hiding it. You almost missed it. “And I’m sorry. I really am.”

His fingers brush against your cheek, leaning closer his nose touches your forehead and you are determined to avoid looking into his eyes knowing well you’d just get weak.

“Shawn, I can’t do this,” you say, your voice barely more than just a whisper.

“Do what?”

“This. You and me. It’s just not working, okay?” Taking a step away from him you lose physical contact with him as he stands there, staring at you a bit confused.

“How do you know it’s not working if you don’t even give it a chance?”

“I gave it,” you snap, finally finding the courage to look at him. “That night when I was at your place, but it went to nothing when you disappeared for three days.”

“Y/N, I told you, that I’m sorry,” he repeats as if saying it again and again solves everything instantly. It’s obvious he has never had to work for anyone like this which kind of makes you proud of yourself, but you don’t let him know that.

“Saying that you’re sorry is not changing anything,” you tell him. “Not that anything should be changed, this whole thing was over before it could start.”

“Don’t say that!” he suddenly snaps, raising his voice. You’re quite taken aback from his reaction and it must be showing on your face because he quickly holds himself back, lowering his tone when he continues. “Don’t just give up on me so easily. Please.” Closing the distance between the two of you he throws the icepack to the side so both his hands are free to hold your face in them.

“Why don’t you give up on me?” you whisper feeling yourself reaching your breaking point. His forehead rests on yours, the physical contact is basically making you see sparkles.

“Because I know that I just can’t. I don’t know why. Please, just… give me one more chance.”

There is something in it when he starts begging. You don’t know if he is doing it on purpose or not, but it’s putting a spell on you whenever he says the magic word, please. Your brain wants to send him away, teach him a well-deserved lesson, but your heart takes over this time.

“Okay. But we need to lay out some rules.”

“Rules?” he asks, his face lighting up.

“Yes. And please, take them seriously,” you firmly say, wanting him to know that this is important for you.

“I will. Promise. Let’s talk about those rules, Señorita.”

You make them clear and easy.

One, he has to let you know by the end of every day that he is alright. For this you finally exchange numbers, which just feels ridiculous if you think about how this should have happened at the very beginning if it was a normal relationship. You don’t ask for much, just a text is enough, the best if he comes by the diner, but you can’t expect him to spend all his time around you.

Two, no more sneaking into your house. You just can’t risk attacking him because you think it’s an intruder.

And three… Be honest.

“I’m already honest with you, Y/N,” he says narrowing his eyes at you, not really understanding what you mean.

“Uhuh, like the other time when you said you didn’t know those guys who started the fight. They called you by name, I’m not stupid, you knew them.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh he presses his lips into a thin line. You push yourself up, looking down at his lying figure on your bed. His side still looks horrible, but he keeps telling it’s fine even though you are pretty sure his ribs are broken.

“There are some things that are best if you don’t know about.”

This uneasy, bitter feeling is back. You sit up, turning away from him. You were dumb enough to think that he wants to change for the better for you, but it seems like he is not willing to leave his lifestyle back anytime soon.

“What did I say this time?” he sighs pushing himself up, wincing a little at the movement.

“Nothing,” you mumble, making your way into the bathroom. You pray he doesn’t follow, but you are out of luck. As you grab your night shirt you see him in the mirror, appearing behind you.

“Y/N, honesty goes for both of us. What’s gotten you upset?”

You refuse to look at him, just take your shirt and pants off, acting like he is not even there. You sleep in an oversized t-shirt, so you just throw it on and then take your bra off from under it. You see the smirk on his lips from your little maneuver and you know he is aching to comment on how he has seen everything under that shirt, but you’re glad he keeps it to himself.

“Y/N, please answer!” He turns you by your chin to face you and you are just silently fuming, not wanting to give the words into his mouth. “Baby, what did I do wrong this time?”

Why does he has to be so persistent? You know he is not letting it go and it’s obvious you are not getting out of the bathroom until you tell him what he wants.

“I just thought that you are going to give up all that dangerous stuff.”

You expect him to laugh at you. You feel ridiculous, so you are sure he thinks the same of you, but instead, his eyes soften at you as his hands slide down your side and to your waist.

“It’s not that simple,” he sighs, his voice laced with guilt. “I’ve tried to leave it all behind. Many times, but it’s not that easy.”

“But you can try at least,” you growl at him crabbed, taking a step back from him as you lean your back against the cold wall.

He stands there, clearly torn between two worlds. You hate giving ultimatums to people, it’d piss you off if it would be you on the other end, but Shawn seems to be calmer than what you expected. You could almost see the little devil and angel on his shoulders, whispering into his ears and you realize you are putting too much pressure on him. You can’t redeem the world in one day and he already agreed to a lot of other small things. Change doesn’t come over night.

Pushing yourself away from the wall you step closer to him, your hands slide up his chest to the base of his neck, the silver necklace rolling under your touch.

“I’m sorry, I was being greedy,” you whisper as you rest your forehead against his. “I have to be more patient with you.” He closes his eyes, arms around your body and you swear he is sniffing you, but you let it pass.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better. For you,” he whispers, eyebrows furrowed. Your lips brush against his and he quickly kisses you before another word could be said.

You moan into his mouth once you feel his tongue against yours. His fingers tangle into your hair and he starts to push you slowly right until your back hits the wall again. When your hands wander down on his naked torso you make sure not to hurt him around his wounded side, but it’s a little hard to contain yourself when his lips are traveling down on your neck, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on your heated skin.

Desire is burning between your legs and you just want to forget about everything that happened today, but you both know Shawn is not fine enough physically to deal with your endless lust right now.

The kisses slow down, panting echoes in the small bathroom as you try to catch your breath.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay?” you whisper, barely finding your own voice. He nods and you tangle yourself out from him.

Lying on the bed you curl up to his healthy side as he wraps his strong arms around your figure, his thumb repetedly caressing your shoulder as you listen to his steady heartbeat.

“Shawn?” you speak up after a while hoping he is not asleep just yet.

“Mmm,” he hums as a reply.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

His fingers stop for a few moments before he holds you tighter to his body, kissing into your hair.

“I’ll try.”

“So, I haven’t seen Mr. Danger around here lately.” Rosie arches an eyebrow at you while you are counting the fat tip you just got, tugging it away into your apron’s pocket.

“Who?” you ask, pretending not to know who she is talking about, but Shawn’s handsome face immediately pops up in your mind, almost making you smile.

“You know who I’m talking about,” she gives you a look as she fills up three cups with lemonade, but she keeps looking out for Rob. Apparently, he told her that she is skating on thin ice with her working attitude and needs to put more effort into her work if she wants to keep receiving her paychecks.

“Why would he come here?” you keep up the act.

“Oh, cut the shit, Y/N. What’s up with him, have you talked lately?”

You sigh, giving in, not wanting to torture her any longer, but just when you open your mouth the door of the diner flies open, the small bell rings in warning and you both turn just in time to see Shawn walk in, his usual leather jacket on, hair perfectly messy from probably riding his bike and he unhurriedly takes his aviator sunglasses off, his eyes lazily looking around the place until they find you and a smug smile plasters across his face.

“Holy shit,” you hear Rosie mumbling under her breath and you show an elbow to her side, making her lose balance for a moment. She shoots you a look, but you shoot it back.

“Show your tongue back into your mouth,” you tell her as you walk out from behind the counter, meeting Shawn midway between the tables.

“Hey there, Señorita.”

His large hands immediately slide to your side, holding you firmly as you throw your arms around his neck, your fingers finding his soft curls at the back of his head.

“Hi,” you whisper as he leans down and kisses you softly, making you forget about everything else that’s around you in this moment.

“You hungry?” you ask as you lead him to his usual box.

“For you? Always.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, but you can’t push a smile down as you look down at him.

“Anything from the menu?” you ask, and quickly add: “I’m not on the menu.”

“What a pity,” he sighs. “Then scrambled eggs with bacon, please. When are you going on a break?”

“Um, in about twenty,” you say checking the clock across the wall.

“Perfect,” he grins at you as you turn around and go back to Rosie behind the counter.

You give the order to the kitchen stuff and face Rosie’s questioning and shocked face.

“What the fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?” you ask innocently.

“Um, you eyefucking with none other than Shawn Mendes, the Greek god of town.”

“Rosie, do you ever filter what you say?” you ask gasping. You definitely did not eyefuck him. Or… did you?

“Is this like an official thing now?” she asks following you into the kitchen as you grab a Corona from the fridge for table 4.

“Kind of,” you shrug, making it look like it’s not a big deal, but your inner self has been jumping up and down for days now, screaming in happiness.

“Okay, you are telling me everything on the way home,” she demands before disappearing from your sight, not even giving you the chance to protest.

Bliss. Utter bliss. This is how you can describe the past few days.

You can tell Shawn has been doing everything he can to make things work for you. He spent the night at your place a few times and when he couldn’t, he made sure to call you before you go to sleep, just asking you about how your day has been, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. You spent another day off with him yesterday, just lazily chilling in bed, watching movies and having some steamy and hot sex, which is kind of your favorite part every time he is over.

He refused to go to a doctor with his side though, said he has a cousin who’s a doctor and that he checked it out, gave him some pills and said it’ll be alright. You’re skeptical about that, but you didn’t want to start a fight about that. It’s starting to look better anyway and he is not wincing anymore when you accidentally touch it.

You still worry about him whenever he is away, not really knowing what he is doing and that’s just too troublesome for you, but you are learning to deal with your own dark thoughts.

You feel like a giddy teenage girl as you move around the diner, doing your job, but sneakily keep glancing at Shawn who has his eyes glued to you the whole time.

“I can’t work like this,” you sigh stopping at his table and he blinks up at you angelically, pretending to be the most innocent guy in the world.

“What? I’m not doing anything!”

“You are basically stripping me with your eyes,” you whisper leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You can feel eyes on you, some local women have been eyeing you enviously after seeing you and Shawn kiss, but you’re kind of enjoying it.

Yeah, bitches, take that! The town’s sexiest guy is all over me! You think to yourself.

“I’m sorry, but this skirt is just… making me feel things,” he sighs taking a good look at your work clothes. It’s a typical, light pink waitress uniform, the skirt might be a little shorter than the average, but Rob thinks that’s just bringing the tips in, so you don’t have anything against it. Apparently, Shawn shares the same thoughts as Rob, enjoying the view.

“I’m off in two. Wanna go outside?” you ask checking the time.

“Sure.”

You go back to the kitchen and grab your phone from the dressing room. You pull out the elastic from your hair, gently massaging your scalp where your bun was before.

“I’m going on my break!” you tell Rosie who is behind the register this time.

“Don’t want to hear moaning from the back, oh wait, maybe it might be hot. I like it, do what you want,” she smirks at you and you just give her a disapproving look.

“Filter, Rosie. Think about what you say before saying it!” you tell her walking away.

Shawn is already at the door, he opens it for you as the two of you walk out to the back of the building for some alone time.

His bike is parked by the wall, not far from the little bench you have there for those who smoke on their breaks.

“I missed you,” he mumbles into your neck, pulling you close immediately when you are out of the sight of the people on the road that runs in front of the diner.

“You mean in the twenty minutes that I had to work while you were staring at me?” you giggle, hands on his broad shoulders as you try not to moan from the way he is kissing your neck.

“Yeah. Hardest twenty minutes of my life.”

He backs you until you bump against the wall and he locks you there with his hands on each sides of your head. You hide yours behind your back as you blink up at him, biting into your bottom lip. His eyes are so much darker this time, lust burning in them as he takes his time looking you up and down.

“You are so fucking sexy, Señorita. You have no idea what you are doing to me.”

Desire laces through his voice, making your lower part catch on fire. Oh, how bad you wish you weren’t behind this building but home, in your bed, with no clothes on.

You tilt your head, your lips gently brushing against his arm, he smells like some kind of sweet cologne that you like so much. Pressing your lips to the inside of his arm you lightly suck on the thin skin, earning a satisfied moan from him, but it also throws him off the edge, dropping his hands to your waist and pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

One of his hands travel up to the back of your head, holding you in place while the other wanders down to your butt, rolling your skirt up so his palm is touching your skin instead of the fabric of the dress. You blindly pray no one is around to see this, you wouldn’t want anyone else to see your almost bare butt but on the other hand you just don’t want him to stop.

The sound of a bike approaching makes you push him away, afraid it’s coming near you. You quickly roll your skirt back down, just in time. A redhead guy appears on a bike, similar to Shawn’s. You’ve seen him before, he is one of Shawn’s friends for sure, but his face is making your stomach churn, the expression is making you want to run because you are sure he has bad news.

“Brian, what are you doing here?” Shawn asks, one arm around you protectively. You hug his waist, eyeing the guy with suspicion.

“You need to come. Wade and his rats are at Connor’s, they are saying one of us beat Wade’s nephew up last night.”

“What?” Shawn snaps. “Everyone was at yours last night, it couldn’t be us.”

The mentioning of Wade Salazar makes you sick to the stomach. The guy is a walking criminal record, spent at least five years in prison by the time he turned twenty-five, the police has been trying to catch him for good for so long, but somehow he always slips out of their hands for the big stuff. The most serious thing they could convict him of is drug trading, but somehow he managed to get away with most of the stuff even in that case. You always knew Shawn is rivals with him, but you refused to think about him getting involved with such a monster as him.

“Yeah, try telling that to Wade,” Brian scoffs. “We need you, he wants to talk to you.”

“Don’t go!” you find yourself saying it before you could hold yourself back.

You feel Brian’s burning gaze on you, but you ignore it, only focusing on Shawn and his clenching jaw.

“Give us a sec,” he tells to the redhead and pulls you a bit farther from his friend.

“Shawn, please don’t go,” you beg, feeling the tears dwelling in your eyes. Something in you is just screaming to make you stop him.

“I have to. These guys are like my brothers. Wade wants to talk to me and if I don’t go he’ll rip off Connor’s place.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes and you know he would rather stay with you, but he is also too protective over his friends and there is nothing you can do about that.

“It’ll be alright, okay? I’ll smooth it out, no fight involved. I’ll be at your place by the time you get home.”

“You promise?” A hot tear runs down your cheek and his thumb catches it right before it could reach your jawline. He kisses you hard, holding your face between his palms as you grab a fistful of his shirt in your hands.

“I promise,” he whispers kissing your forehead before letting you go.

You watch him jog over to his bike, your knees are shaking as you see him get on it and start the engine. He glances in your direction one more time, giving you a promising smile as you try not to sob, before he and Brian roll out of the parking lot and disappear from your sight.

“Woah, you look like shit,” Rosie grimaces at you when you come back from your break.

“Thanks for the support,” you mumble. You managed make the signs of crying disappear from your face, but you are definitely not feeling better.

“What did the fucker do to you?” she asks, ready to go full tiger mode on anyone.

“Nothing. Can we just… work?” you request tiredly and probably for the first time ever, Rosie just nods without a word.

The rest of your shift feels like hell. You keep checking your phone if there is anything from Shawn and you find yourself staring at the door many times, hoping to see him walk in, but nothing happens. Thankfully Rosie decides not to question you about Shawn on the way home, she just hugs you goodbye, telling you to call her if you want company when she gets off the bus.

When you turn the corner and start walking down your street your stomach drops when there is no sight of Shawn or his bike anywhere near. As your last string of hope you pray he is inside, he just didn’t come with the bike this time though you know it’s impossible.

Opening the door the only thing you see is darkness. Gordon welcomes you with a lazy meow from the couch as he lifts his head up for your arrival. You can’t stop the tears from flowing as you shut the door behind you and collapse on the couch. Grabbing a pillow you bury your face into it, trying to suffocate your desperate sobs as Gordon sniffs you worriedly, not really knowing what you are doing. You reach to scratch his head gently as he stares down at you as if he is questioning if you are alright.

But you are not. Shawn promised to be here and he failed to show up again. It’s breaking your heart ten times harder than last time and you just don’t know what to do with the situation anymore.

Minutes pass by, your sobs come to a halt as you sit in the dark without moving, staring at the same spot on the floor. You know you won’t be able to sleep tonight not knowing where he is or if he is alright. Last time when he didn’t come you just gave up, but you don’t feel like you can do that again. You have to do something, you can’t just sit around and see if he ever shows up again.

You are going to find out where this Connor guy lives and go there yourself. Tonight.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfictions #Señorita #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army

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cognacdelights · 4 years ago

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ive had such a weird day? myemitions have been all over the place?? its snowed here and i literally was on the verge of tears because the snow was too dry to make a snowman lmao. i spent 2 hrs shaking from anxiety & then me and my brother got hit by a car when sledding which wasnt that big of a deal cause the car was going like 5 miles and hour and we hit it as we came around a corner but now i feel so weird about it like im having a panic attack? i just dont know what to do i feel so weird lol

hi bub, sorry that it’s taken me so long to get back to you, i was asleep when you sent this in. but, oh my god, it sounds like you’ve had a day and a half.

first of all, i just want to say that i hope you and your brother are okay? i know the car wasn’t going very fast but it’s still a scary situation and somebody still could have been hurt. i definitely understand your anxiety, and it’s probably just a very delayed response from your body from being hit by the car. the shock and adrenaline of the situation has worn off, and now you’re left with the delayed anxiety you probably should have felt in the situation. it’s normal, don’t feel weird about it. a lot of people react like this. it just didn’t hit you in the moment and is a delayed response, so you’re probably feeling weird because you don’t think you should be having an emotional reaction to it now. it’s normal, it’s okay, you just gotta work through it. it’s probably just the realisation of what actually happened setting in.

and honestly, sometimes, it just do be like that. sometimes our emotions are all over the place. again, it’s normal. everybody has days like this. i, certainly, have days like this. it’s just a part of life. some days are more eventful than others. although, if this is a persistently re-occurring thing it could be a sign of something more (but i’m not technically qualified to speak on the diagnosis of mental disorders so please take everything i say with a pinch of salt, do your own research and speak to your gp and/or somebody you feel comfortable opening up to who is preferably an adult).

i hope you’re feeling better today!

#replies

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mybiasisexo · 5 years ago

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Fight or Flight 🤡

@erin78 asks: Hi!! I’m requesting 5 with chanyeol pls 🧡🧡

a/n: TIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN SEASON BITCHES!!!!! 🎃 (sorry for my language im just excited) anyone doing anything fun this spoopy season??? I really hope to go to a haunted house or amusement park!!!! I feel v spoopy this year for some reason. enough rambling, enjoy!!!

MASTERLIST

gif credit

Going to a Halloween themed amusement park was very much Chanyeol’s idea.

You didn’t want to ruin his good spirits, so you pretended to be just as excited for hours filled with people dressed up as your worst nightmares, taking every opportunity to scare the living shit out of you.

Yeah, so much fun.

The apprehension built in you the closer you got to the amusement park, the eerie music playing through the speakers as you went up to buy your tickets a foreboding warning of what the night was to bring. You had arrived when the sun was starting to descend, so you both took the time to eat and figure out a game plan. You tried to ignore the shrill shrieks of children, but Chanyeol smiled at the sounds, soaking up the spooky atmosphere in delight.

“Are you scared?” He asked as you both headed over to one of the growing lines to a haunted funhouse. His hand gripped yours reassuringly as his attentive eyes noticed the stiffness of your shoulders and the sweat collecting on your neck.

The sun’s nearly gone at this point, the music felt deafening, and the screams—oh god, the screams. Your heart was racing at a concerning pace, adrenaline pumped through your system, preparing you for anything, and all you could think at that moment was, “run, run, run!”

Instead of following your intuition, you tightened your hold on Chanyeol’s large hand and shook your head, voice trapped in your throat.

He pulled you to a stop in the center of the sidewalk, urging you to face him.

“Look at me,” he coaxed. It took you a moment, but when you finally did, he tisked before patting the top of your head with his sweater paw. “You have nothing to be afraid of, Sweetie. I’m here to protect you from all the bad guys in this place.”

You gulped, but his face calmed you a bit. His beautiful round eyes held nothing but sincerity and determination.

“Pr—promise?” You stuttered, voice cracking. He chuckled lowly, finding your fear cute, despite himself.

“Promise.”

“Good, because those clowns are fucking terrify—AHH!” Before you could get the last word out, a clown you had noticed following you for a while finally decided to attack, rushing over to you both and going for the grab.

All you could hear over your screaming was Chanyeol calling your name, but it was so far away, you weren’t even sure if you actually heard it or imagined it. Your survival instincts had taken over and you were damn near across the park before you finally collapsed, out of breath and on the verge of a panic attack.

You crawled over to a small patch of grass filled with plastic tombstones and hid within the overgrown weeds, knees pulled into you as you rocked, trying to calm your body down.

You had no idea how long you sat there before hands were on you, causing you to scream for dear life as you fought viciously to shove them away.

“Baby! Calm down! It’s me! It’s me!”

That voice…. You stopped your movements and reluctantly opened your eyes to be met with a very worried Chanyeol.

He appeared just as worn out as you, but his presence was such a relief you lurched forward, throwing your arms around his neck and burst into tears.

“Chanyeol!” You sobbed in relief.

“Oh, Baby,” he cooed, slightly out of breath as he returned your hug. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you! I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone run that fast in my life!”

“I hate clowns,” you revealed into his soft hoodie.

One of his hands lifted up to smooth over the back of your head. “Should we go home?”

You nodded in agreement.

“Good, cause we kind of have no choice….”

You pulled back at that, catching him smiled sheepishly. “I might’ve gotten kicked out for hitting the actor for scaring you.”

“What?” You asked in disbelief.

“Well, actually,” he clarified. “He scared the shit out of me also and my first instinct was to punch him. Anyways, we have to go now.”

You laughed as he helped you up, the two of you wasting no time getting the hell out of there!

#this title....my mind....#chanyeol scenario #chanyeol scenarios #exo scenario #exo scenarios #chanyeol oneshot #chanyeol oneshots #chanyeol reactions #exo reaction #exo oneshot #exo oneshots #chanyeol drabble #chanyeol drabbles #exo drabble #exo drabbles #chanyeol #drabble game

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cassnottiel · 5 years ago

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hello!!! i've never sent a prompt before so i don't know if im doing this wrong or right lmao but for deke prompts could i suggest one where simmons or fitz (or them together) get protective of him maybe?

Deke Shaw was confused almost all the time. Confused and frustrated.

He was confused in the future when a group of SHIELD agents hijacked his life. When he tried to distance himself from the organization only to have his company attacked by a bizarro Coulson. That time he was trapped with May, Daisy, Bizzaro Coulson and the Australian psychopath with the atom bomb he had to try and defuse. And then the time he got possessed by an alien.

Confused and frustrated. Mostly confused.

And now, he was on the verge of a shootout with whatever they were up against this week. He wasn't even an official SHIELD agent. He didnt know how it started. He was so confused.

Deke got even more confused when the bullets started flying and people started shouting.

He dove for cover and turned the safety off on his gun. He was about to start shooting when May crouched down next to him. She set down a briefcase full of artifacts they were supposed to study.

"Get this back to the jet." May ordered and jumped back into the fray before Deke could respond.

Deke was about to yell after her, to ask how the hell he was supposed to get out, but decided against it. She was already busy with beating someone to half to death. He sighed.

Deke took the case by the handle in his left hand and ducked to a different source of cover, shooting at the enemy with the glock in his right. Whoever he was near would cover him as he made his way to the exit, until he was ten feet away. That's when he got shot.

A stray bullet whizzed past Daisy and lodged itself into Dekes hip. He went down with a shouted swear. But he didn't forget his mission, he hugged the briefcase with both of his arms as he hissed in pain. Nobody paid him any mind as he laid injured on the floor.

Well, nobody on his team paid him any mind. People on the other team? They paid attention to the idiot holding the precious cargo. A big, scary man went unnoticed as he walked up to Deke.

Deke would have yelled out, asked for help, but Scary Man drew his gun and pointed it straight at Dekes forehead.

"Hand that over and you won't get any more injured than you already are." Scary Man said, just loud enough to be heard over the fight.

Deke bit back his fear and glared at the man, hugging the case tighter to his chest. He opened his mouth to shoot back some smartass comment, but it died in his throat when another bullet tore through his left shoulder.

"Give me the case." Scary Man said slowly when Deke didn't drop it. "Or the next one ends up in your brain."

"Go to Hell." Deke said through a clenched jaw. Scary Man raised his gun again.

"You first."

Deke was bleeding fast, with two entrance wounds and one exit. He flinched back and turned his head away, ready for his impending doom, but it never came.

When Deke opened his eyes again, Scary Man had dropped his gun and had a bullet hole through his wrist. Fitz stood a few feet away, a murderous look in his eyes.

"Get away from my grandson, you bastard." Fitz said dangerously. Scary Man could only be confused for a few seconds, because Fitz shot him with three icers.

As soon as the body hit the floor, Fitz was kneeling down next to Deke.

Dekes vision was getting fuzzy and dark around the edges, probably due to all the blood loss. But he didn't have time to pass out. He had to get the briefcase to the jet.

"Thanks, Bobo." Deke said as loud as her could with the amount of blood leaving his body. "Help me get up, will you?" He dropped the case and tried to sit up.

Dekes vision went white and he almost fainted. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut, barely fighting when Fitz gently pushed him back to lie down.

"No, no no, please-" Deke gasped out when Fitz put pressure on the shoulder wound. "May told me to get the case to the jet, I need to--"

"Shut up and save your strength." Firz snapped, shooting a glare to somewhere Deke couldn't see. "I'll take care of the case. You need to see Jemma."

Dekes vision was swimming, and he could barely hear anything anymore. "No, no. Don't make Nana worry. She--" he coughed, and something warm and wet trickled down his chin.

"Deke?" Fitz's voice had a strange note of panic. "Deke, come on, mate. Stay with me. Stay awake."

Deke did not stay awake. He passed out.

He woke up back in the Lighthouse, in the infirmary. The bright lights assaulted his eyes and he groaned, bringing a hand up to rub his face.

"Oh, thank God!"

Deke almost flinched at the sudden voice. He looked over and saw Simmons. She looked pale and tired as she checked over his vitals.

"Hey, Nana," Dekes voice cracked from not being used in a while, "you okay?"

Simmons laughed, like it was a stupid question to ask. Deke furrowed his brow in confusion.

"You lost almost a third of your blood volume after being shot twice, and you're asking me if I'm alright." Simmons gave a watery smile as she sat down next to his recovery bed.

"That's a lot of blood." Deke blinked in surprise. "Am I alright?"

"You needed a transfusion. Fitz gave two pints, I gave one." Simmons said softly.

Deke was lost for words. He started stammering. "Thank you." He finally stuttered out after what felt like an hour. "Like, thank you. And Fitz, thank you both so much."

Simmons laughed weakly. "There's no need to thank us, we're family." She set her hand on his as Deke rapidly blinked the tiredness out of his eyes.

"Well, thank you anyway." Deke smiled and bit back a yawn.

"You're still a little low on blood." Simmons said softly. "You need to rest."

Deke nodded the best he could and let his head fall back on the pillow. He closed his eyes and drifted off to unconsciousness.

He woke next to a loud scoff, a slamming door, and an exclamation.

"The nerve of the idiots that work here!" Jemma Simmons said angrily. Someone to Dekes left startled.

"Bloody hell, Jemma!" Fitz hissed. "Be quiet, you could wake him up!"

Even though Deke was awake, he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He was still so tired.

"Sorry, sorry." Simmons sighed. "It's just--" Deke heard her lean against something as she struggled for the right word. "--the complete disrespect!"

Fitz set something down on the bedside table. "What happened?"

"One of the newer recruits was talking about the mission and he said Deke shouldn't have been there." Simmons wasn't angry, she was furious. And based on the sound Fitz made, he was feeling something similar. "Said he was a liability and he shouldn't be allowed in the field."

"That's ridiculous!" Fitz said, a little but louder than needed. Deke let out a quiet groan and he shifted slightly without opening his eyes. Fitz and Simmons both went quiet.

Deke was hearing them, but he wasn't quite listening. Their conversation was more background noise than anything else.

After a minute, the conversation started up again, quieter this time.

"That's ridiculous." Fitz repeated, this time in a whisper. "He got shot twice and still completed the mission."

"I know!" Simmons sounded indignant. "He put himself in harm's way for them, and they go and say he's useless when he's anything but."

There was a moment of silence.

"Are we acting like grandparents?" Fitz's voice was quiet and confused. Simmons laughed.

"I think we are."

"Huh," Fitz huffed, "feels weird."

There was another moment of silence.

"Are we telling him about this?"

"Oh, absolutely not."

"Can you two please shut up?" Deke didn't bother opening his eyes when he asked. "I'm tired."

That certainly shut them up.

#marvel #high class writing #writing #writing prompt #agents of shield #deke shaw #jemma simmons #leopold fitz #fitzsimmons #asks #high class answers

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minecraftoworymode · 5 years ago

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picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2

“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life

when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.

however,

after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face

anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)

- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-

n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)

BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.

this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing

anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice

and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly

but

then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)

theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer

and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-

BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???

he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"

- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'

what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)

afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"

he H

#ng+#msg #i said this was super self-indulgent and i was not lying #i call ng+ my mcsm project and thats literal

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gradianalastair · 5 years ago

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Ours || Evistair

Who: Avery Clarington & Alastair Wilde Where: London, Hospital Room When: 05/02, 1PM Triggers: Violence, Injuries, Pregnancy, Mention of Abortion

Avery was excited to be showing off her skills in front of her boyfriend and have him watch her in action. However, she didn’t plan on getting seriously hurt and quite frankly, the lady should pay for her hospital bills. So she was on the bed, lying down when she woke up and glanced at Alastair and reached out for him. She knew that she wasn’t the prettiest sight to see, busted up lip, a black eye, a cut below her left eye. She noticed that her left hand wrapped since it got sprained in the ring when she tried to catch herself from failing. Which she was thankful that one of the bouncers caught her but that didn’t stop the lady from knocking her out cold. “Baby,” She whispered softly.

It hadn't admittedly taken quite a lot of self restraint for Alastair not to lose his shit on the women that knocked Evie out. It was a fair fight, he told himself, and she didn't need him stepping in. Of course, that didn't ease the worry. He'd very quickly taken he from the bouncer and driven her to the hospital, no need for ambulances or police involvement. When she finally woke he took hold of her uninjured hand as it was offered. "Yeah, Evie, I'm here. Gave me a little bit of a scare, darling."

Avery interlaced their fingers together as she basically pulled him into the bed with her. Once he was in the bed, she snuggled into him and pressed a kiss against the back of his hand. "Im sorry," She said softly as she glanced up at him and knew that she was ready to cry at some point.

Alastair got comfortable beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist and making sure not to upset any of her injuries. "It's alright, love. I'll just have to teach you to take a punch better," he joked. He kissed he jaw very gently and pressed his face into her hair. "Nurses are about somewhere. Took some blood from you. Said it was routine testing but you ask me, that just didn't believe me when I said you wasn't on any drugs."

Avery let out a small laugh before she let out a small ow. “You better,” She said as she listened to him, knowing that it was routine for them to take the blood. “I’m sure they believed you, baby. Also, did you tell Hunter & Patrick that I’m in here?”

Alastair winced at her pained reply. He hated seeing her like this. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "Who?" he asked with an oblivious tone.

Avery gave him a knowing look. “My siblings who I’m not talking to at the moment.” She said as she felt him kissed her forehead. “Also your brother.”

Alastair rolled his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I told them, don't worry. I'm sure they'll be here to annoy us at some point. Or I could tell them you're fine and to fuck off?"

Avery laid her head back down onto him and shook his head gently. "Not yet, no because I don't think they would believe you if you said I was fine and to fuck off."

Alastair sighed and continued to lightly stroke her hair. "Yeah, you're right there. They mean well at least, I suppose." They laid their a few minutes before the nurse came in. Alastair sat up in anticipation. "Well, she's all peachy keen then?"

Avery nodded slightly, then sat up when the nurse came in as well. “We would like to keep her in here for at least the next twenty four hours, for observations. She has a few bruised ribs.” She looked at Avery and then at guy then back at Avery. “Everything showed up normal on the blood test and maybe stop the fighting, since in few months, I don’t think your significant other would like to put you and your baby at risk. You’re very lucky that there wasn’t any damage to the fetus or you guys would have a different talk. So congratulations are in order, you guys are pregnant.” Avery could feel her heart dropped and swallowed thickly. She couldn’t be pregnant. She didn’t have any of the symptoms, sure her period was late but that was normal for her. “I would say you are a month along. I’ll leave you guys alone.” The nurse left the room and Avery pulled away from Alastair.

Alastair was numb to the news. He didn't even react when he felt Avery pull away from him. He blinked, staring at the door where the nurse left them. Pregnant. Avery was pregnant. With a baby. His baby? What had the nurse said? "You're a month along," he said aloud.

Avery shook her head as she heard him. “There must be a mistake, I’m not pregnant. I can’t be pregnant.” She said as she started to feel a panic attack coming and gripped the railing. “I-I’m not having this baby. I have my whole life ahead of me. I want to, go into the city with you and act like fools. I want to take you to Italy and have you meet my family. I want to get drunk with you, then have drunk sex. No, this can’t be happening.”

"You're not drinking if you're pregnant," he said automatically. He sighed and stood up. He brought his hands up to rest behind his head and he began to pace the room while staring at the ceiling. "Fucking christ," he murmured to himself. "Who's the father?"

“I don’t even know if I want to keep the baby, Alastair.” Avery admitted as she looked at him as he stood up and swallowed thickly when he asked her the question. “....Levi.” She could feel guilt wash over her and knew that she was about to cry.

Alastair rubbed his face and closed his eyes. He didn't know what he was supposed to think. His girlfriend was pregnant. That alone was terrifying enough. But then the fact that he wasn't even the father hit him harder than he thought. "I cant..." He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He got all the way outside of the hospital before he sat down on the ground with his head in his hands. What the fuck was he supposed to do. "FUUUCK!" He screamed loudly into the open air. He got a few stares but couldn't be fucked to care. He shot off another text to his brother and headed back inside.

Avery watched him walk out and pulled her legs close to her body, swallowed hard once he shut the door. She tried not to cry since she didn’t want the added stress and ran her hand through her hair. She was going to get rid of the baby, that was it. She was going to get rid of the baby and flee to Italy. She literally wasn’t in the shape of being a mum right now, she wanted to continue fighting and now she can’t even do that. What the hell is she supposed to do, now? She didn’t want to have a baby with Levi. Deep down, she wished Alastair was the father instead.

Alastair walked back into the room and saw Avery close to tears. He felt like a selfish prick for walking out but he was feeling a lot of things he couldn't deal with. He sat next to her in the chair by the bed. "You don't have to get rid of it if you don't want to," he said. "Levi's a peice of shit, but he's not a deadbeat. He'll help when you tell him." He sighed. "Or you can get rid of it. Its up to you."

Avery couldn’t look at Alastair in the eye as he spoke and wrapped an arm around her torso. “What about you?” She asked above a whisper then looked over at him. “What are you going to do?”

Alastair sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, Avery. I'm not fucking cut out to be a father." He fought the urge to stand and start pacing again. Instead he just shifted forward in the chair. "Told you before any kid of mine would turn out to be a violent peice of shit, just like me." He scoffed. "So I guess you're lucky its not mine."

Avery glanced over at him and swung her legs over the bed to place her hands on his thighs. “Listen to me Alastair Wilde and you listen to me good. You are fucking soft with me and took care of me while I was out cold. So don’t sit here and tell me that you’re not cut out to be a fucking father when you know damn well any child would be lucky to have dad like you. You’re a great uncle, sure I haven’t seen you interact with them but I know it in my heart that you will be a great dad to my baby. You will love it as your own and will protect it like it it’s flesh and blood.” She paused as she kept eye contact with him. “I wish that you were the father, not Levi. I am not lucky it’s not yours. Now, go away with that talk or oh so hope me god, I will drag you by your coat, out of this hospital and put you on your brother’s porch myself. Because you are a gentle guy, you have showed me care, kindness and love. You opened up to me about your nightmares when you didn’t need to do so, but you chose to do so. Any man of that, is worthy of being a father.”

Alastair composure crumbled at her words. His eyebrows scrunched together and he could swear he was on the verge of tears himself. She almost made him wish it was his as well. Part of him did, in fact, but he was conflicted and so fucking scared. She said such kind things about him and he wanted to believe her. He shook his head. "You don't know what kind of man I really am Evie." He balled his hands into fists. "I've fucking beat men to death for looking at me wrong."

Avery covered his hands and gave them a squeeze. “So? That doesn’t make you a monster or a terrible dad from the gate. These hands,” She brought them and kissed them before she opened them up then placed her face into his hands. “Have also done a lot of good things, soft things like playing with your family, holding my hand and other things you have done that I don’t know about. Just because you’ve done that stuff, doesn’t make you a monster, Alastair. I understand it’s easy to focus on the bad stuff, but focus on the good stuff, as well. The good and bad, go hand and hand and these hands have seen both.”

Alastair let out the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding inside. A tear slid down his face and he felt pathetic. He hadn't know how scared he was of her reaction until she'd given it. She had no idea how much he'd needed to hear her say he wasn't a monster. He pushed forward to kiss her and then held their foreheads together. "I'm not going anywhere," he finally said. "If you keep it... I'll be here."

Avery cupped his cheeks and wiped away the tear. She returned the kiss as she let her own tears roll down her cheeks and brushed her nose against his. “Good because I’m not letting you go, not ever.” She whispered back to him. “Help me raise it? And love it like it’s your own? Raise it as your own, care for it as your own? Protect it as your own?”

A spark of panic went through him again. What if he fucked it all up? Kids were easy to fuck up, weren't they? And he was fucked up enough just on his own. He took a deep shakey breath and closed his eyes. "I'll fucking try," he answered.

“That’s all I want, because like it or not. You’re stuck with me, Wilde.” Avery said as she started to caress his cheeks. “Baby and all.”

Alastair chuckled despite the situation. "Think you got that backwards, love." He sighed again, this time more out of emotional exhaustion than anything else. "We'll need to tell Levi at some point. It annoys me to say it, but he deserves to be involved." He paused. "That is... if you've decided?"

Avery shook her head after she pulled away slightly. “I don’t think so.” She said as she pecked his head as she tried to stifle a yawn. “Yeah, I know. And I have, so it looks like we’re going to be parents.”

"Oh, fuck. Christ, what are we getting ourselves into?" He took another deep breath and then pulled away from Evie so he could point a finger at her stomach and staring as if he could see the growing child within. "You better be a fucking girl is all I'm saying, alright?"

“I don’t know but I’m excited to see where our journey takes us.” Avery said as she ran her fingers through his hair. She laughed before she moved over so he could get onto her bed. “So she can be like her mum and kick the boys’ ass.”

"If she's lucky she'll be all you without a trace of me or Levi." He crawled onto the bed next to her. He wrapped his arm around her rested his head on the pillow just above hers. "Could be a bad night," he confessed. "All this going on in my head... thinking about a kid now... nightmares will probably hit hard tonight. Might not be a good idea for me to stay the night."

Avery snuggled into him and kissed his neck. “And that’s okay, I just want you to hold me before you go for the night.” She said as she looked up at him when she rested her chin on him. “If you do end up having a nightmare, can you let me know? That way I know you’re okay, for the most part?”

Alastair looked down at her and nodded. "Yeah, I can do that," he replied. He shifted his hold on her, being careful to mind her injuries, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "When we get back to the Village you'll have to go see our family doctor. We'll set up on of those ultrasounds."

“Thank you, baby.” Avery said as she closed her eyes when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She nodded as she interlaced their hands together and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb. “Sounds good to me. Then I’ll start the prenatal vitamins and tell work that I can’t continue doing the underground fighting ring story. Even though the pay is nice.”

"Mm, fuck the pay," he mumbled into her hair. "I'm paying for everything now." As far as he was concerned Avery was now his to take care of. She'd never work another day if she didn't want to.

Avery glanced up at him. “Do you enough money to pay for everything?” She asked softly as she started to rub his side.

Alastair paused, realizing that she really didn't know anything about his family or their business other than the fronts they'd told her about. "Yeah, more than, darling. Don't you worry about that." He'd have to discuss more than just his baby fueled emotional meltdown with Tobias, and soon.

Avery nodded as she rested her head onto his chest and closed her eyes. “Okay.” She said as she gotten comfortable and knew that she was exhausted from everything.

Alastair stroked her hair and watched as she began to nod off. "Rest for now. I'll wake you before I leave."

Avery snuggled into him. “I’m not tired.” She murmured softly, knowing that she was going to fall asleep at any moment.

Alastair rolled his eyes and continued the soft motion of his hand in her hair. "Yes you are. Sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Avery snuggled more into him and let her eyes close. “Do you promise that you will be here when I wake up?”

Alastair nodded his head slowly and hummed in response. "Yeah, baby. I promise."

Avery swallowed thickly as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep shortly after that.

#para:evie #clarevelyn #tw: pregnancy

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nekoabi · 6 years ago

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Fic Masterlist!

I finally made a post version of my masterlist, which allows it to be viewed on mobile! Everything is also available on my AO3, which is also NekoAbi.

The Five Times Patton Smiled And The One Time It Didn’t Reach His Eyes - Angsty. Romantic Royality. Romantic Prinxiety. Implied NSFW. College AU. School AUri

Admitting It - Romantic Logicality. Kiss. Sleepy boys. Terrible Title Syndrome.

Stitches - Hurt/Comfort. Platonic Moxiety. Patton tears.

Falling For You - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logicality. Romantic Prinxiety. Platonic LAMP. One-sided (for now). Implied NSFW dreams. Implied wet dream. Swearing. Logan and Roman being know-it-all lil pieces of shit. School AU.

Planning - Platonic LAMP. Fluffy shenanigans.

Snow - Platonic LAMP. Virgil enjoys the snow. Pain mention, Self-inflicted pain.

Calm - Platonic LAMP. Its a calm day and Virgil gets introspective. Food mention.

Library - MASTERLIST! MASTERLIST (Rewrite) Library AU. All pairings, a different pairing each chapter, ending with LAMP. Cute fluff. Falling in love in different ways. Logan, head librarian. Patton, hired work. Virgil, volunteer. Roman, volunteer.

Too Close For Comfort - Past Prinxiety. Crying, Break Up. Roman is processing a break up, maybe some music can help.

Royality vs. Analogical - Romantic Royality, Romantic Analogical. Food mention, kissing. Each relationship is different; some are loud, some are quiet.

Nerdy - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logince. High School AU. Logan’s always been a lone wolf, but recently someone’s just been playing on his mind.

Fragrance of Dark Coffee - Romantic Prinxiety. Angst. Major Character Death Prior To Events. Influenced by Ace Attorney.

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - MASTERLIST! Eventual Moxiety. Angst in later chapters. School AU.

His Last Chance - Prinxiety. Angst. Implied cheating, lots of sadness.

Prompt Fill Fic Collection - University AU. Most LAMP ships. A collection of 9 prompt fill fics.

Logan’s Birthday - Written for Logan’s Birthday 2018. Platonic LAMP. Food mention, happy crying.

Tea Break - Patton finds Roman having some issues with homework. Platonic Royality. Food mention. School AU.

Hands - Soft Logince. Roman’s frustrated by something.

Of Princes and Potions - MASTERLIST! Pining Logince. Royal Fantasy AU. Sympathetic Deceit. Mentions of war and injury. Chapter 6 involves blood, swords, knives, injury and strong anxiety attack parallels.

Rain On Me/You’re Perfect/The Way You Held My Hand/Stupid Band - School AU. Virgil is new to the school, meets a cute boy, can’t handle it. Themes of personal isolation.Chapter 3 had allusion to self-harm and talk of injury. Based off of a songs from Emo the Musical.

If I Can’t Love Her - Based off of a song of the same name. Roceit. Sympathetic Deceit. Roman hears a new singing voice, and needs to find out who it is.

Perfect - Romantic Royality. Kissing, Playfighting. Roman and Patton begin by playfighting, end up doing something they didn’t expect.

My Hero - Romantic Moceit. Kidnapping, Gangs, Violence, Fighting. Patton is kidnapped, and all he wants is for his boyfriend to come and save him... but that would never happen... right?

Ultraviolet - Logince. Past Prinxiety. Swearing, alcohol mention, past FWB relationship. Roman’s crushing on a fellow teacher and his inner performer can really help with that.

Bad Day - Implied Romantic Mox. Panic attack. Virgil has a bad day, Patton knows how to help.

Animals Know Best - Logicality. Prinxiety. Soulmate AU. Everyone has a partner animal that chooses them which not only has traits of their soulmate, but will also lead them to their soulmate. Virgil doesn’t believe in it all too much, until he can’t help but admit it.

Insomnia - Remile. Insomnia talk, mention of sleep therapy, mention of smoking. Remy’s dealing with some really bad insomnia and he’s referred to a sleep specialist. Yet the most interesting thing is the receptionist who works there...

Torn Apart - Heavy Angst with a happy ending. Lots of violence; stabbing, cutting off limbs, strangulation, choking, head injuries. Wrath is an OC of mine, he’s an angry man. Virgil sets him off. It’s a bad time.

Lullaby for a Duke - Remus mention. Based off of Lullaby for a Princess, an MLP song and animation.

Ranking Up - MASTERLIST! Splatoon Sides. Deceit and Remus are involved.

Lies - Virgil-centric. Angst. Unhappy Ending. Suicide, Alcohol, Dangerous Driving, Car Crash, Death, Suicide (both implied and described), Implied Abusive Deceit. Based off of Lies by McFly.

This Day Aria - Villain!Deceit. Based off of the same song from MLP:FiM.

It’s (Im)possible - Roceit. “What you just asked for is impossible” and “Fuckbuddies falling in love”.

I’m Fine! - School AU. Roman’s sent to the councillor’s office against his will. Sure, he may have mentioned something in drama, but he’s fine!

Headache - No AU. Thomas has a headache and it affects where the sides reside... and to Roman more than the others.

Paint Me - Royality. Human AU. Struggling artist Roman needs some inspiration and the stranger knocking at his door is just what he needs. Based off of Paint Me from Firebringer.

To Love a Remus - Demus. No AU. Remus is an idiot, but Deceit thinks he’s hot anyway. Blood and Injury mention. Birthday fic for @doces-e--tuga

Virgil the Small Purple Emo - Moxiety. Love Makes You Grow AU. Virgil was unloved at a young age and stopped growing. A chance meeting might change his life. Secret Santa for @midnightsdarkangel (also my first and probably last attempt at GT)

Battle Bonds - No AU. Thomas is on a Pokemon kick and its affecting his imagination more than he could... well... imagine.

Theatre Technicians are basically Vampires - Vampire/Human AU. They all live in one house, work at the same place and are vampires. Angst included about their pasts which include the following: attacks, blood, talk of death, injury, scarring and attempted suicide.

Recreating - MASTERLIST! No ships. No AU. Thomas liked to watch Disney movies. That fact was one of the least surprising things about him. He could sit down and watch almost any of the Disney movies and have a wonderful time. Sometimes, scenes from those movies got stuck in his head. He never thought anything of it.

Love on the Fly Floor - Theatre AU. Prinxiety, Roman is crushing bad on one of the flymen for the show he’s on. When his birthday rolls around, the cast and crew give him a surprise.

While The Sides Are Away, Virgil Will Play - No AU. The sides have a day out and leave Virgil at home. They don’t expect to come home to him looking... like that.

How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit - Human AU. Intrulociet. Logan needs a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help. Birthday fic for @cloverlyanxious/ @maeofclubsandart

Pier Pressure - Human AU. Logince/Pining Moxiety. The four go to the lake to hang out, Roman’s mad that his brother and friend are so clearly into each other but not taking the hint.

The 5 Times Patton Tripped and the 1 Time He Fell (In Love) - Human AU. 5+1 fic. Moxiety. Patton falls a lot, has done since birth. Doesn’t mean everyone’s used to it.

Remus Kidnaps You - Idk AU... mix of canon and human, maybe? No Ship. Remus kidnaps you to play with your hair. That’s about it.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates - Human/College AU. Prinxiety. Virgil meets an old friend, gets a crush on him, walks into him basically naked, freaks out. Ends happy.

Heatwave - Sides-Are-English Human AU. There’s a heatwave. All the roommates are shedding their usual clothing for something cooler, except one.

Explainable Coincidences - Human/Teen AU. The twins explore an abandoned hotel, but they didn’t expect others to be there too.

Don’t Think Twice - Human AU. Song Fic. Roceit. It’s the happiest day of their lives, yet they still reflect on where they started from.

Keeping It Quiet - Human/Influencer AU. Prinxiety. Virgil and Roman keep their relationship quiet on social media. Not silent, just quiet.

Don’t Drink And Livestream, Especially When You’re Famous - Human/Famous AU. Platonic Roceit. Being drunk, drinking, kissing. Janus tries to help his friend get over his ex.

A Simple Mistake With A Simple Solution - Human AU. Logince. Roman messes up, Logan’s pissed. Roman makes it easy.

Skipping Ahead A Few Steps - Human AU. Logicality. Patton brings a dog home, Logan’s baffled and confused.

Oh How The Tables Have Turned... - Royal AU. Roceit, background Intrulogical. Roman’s brother likes Roman’s retainer. Roman doesn’t think he likes his brother’s. He’s wrong.

Just Like In The Fairy Tales - Semi-Fantasy/Royal AU. Royality. Patton sneaks off to his favourite place to enjoy the view.

An Apple A Day... Hurts Like A Bitch - No AU. Platonic Sides. The 5 times Janus got apples thrown at him and the 1 time he threw one at everyone else.

–

TVFH Related Stories

Pocky Day - Written for Pocky Day 2018. Shenanigans with TVFH cast and the pocky game.

Coffee Break - Virgil returns to his room and finds Reggie having problems with homework. School AU.

House Party - Roman throws a house party after a show. Mention of drunken behaviour and alcohol.

Beach Trip - It’s hot, the gang decide to go to the beach. The night before, shenanigans ensue. Sexual implications. Relia focused.

FFXV Fics

Type Found - Pokemon AU. Prompto finds a Pokemon in an imperial base, saves it and plot things happen. The boys have partner pokemon.

Hair Troubles - No AU. Ignis can’t get his hair right and it’s frustrating. Prompto steps in to help.

Prompto’s Bike - Pre-Roadtrip. OT4 Chocobros. Prompto has a motorbike. The other bros really like it.

Cor’s Cooking Lesson - Pre-Roadtrip. Cor finds young Ignis attempting to cook and helps out.

#Fic Masterlist #Neko's Fic Masterlist

210 notes · View notes

ravens-rambling · 7 years ago

Text

Loved

A/N: I love touch starved Virgil too much okay, I need more of it in my life. So here ya go

summary: Virgil is touch-starved and doesn't know how to ask for help until it becomes too much.

WC: 2,274

ships: no ships just family comfort <3

warnings: hurt/comfort, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, some self-confidence, mention of self body hate, sensory overload, touch starvation

Virgil doesn't know what is wrong with him. Every night as he lay in bed trying to find some peace in his head to sleep he finds there is a dull ache in his heart. One that mumbles to him that he doesn't want to be alone. He wants the comfort of another. At first, he tried to ignore it. Before he came into this small famILY one might call it, it was a small ache. One that he definitely could ignore. But now..it was getting harder and harder to do that. Now he can't sleep unless he has a ton of blankets on him and his jacket very tight against his skin. Almost like he was getting a hug from another person. That he could feel the warmth of somebody else against his skin. But even that wasn't enough now. He can feel it.

But he thought back to all the times the others touched him. Roman occasionally giving him hugs which he always flinched at and dove under his arms trying to get away.

Patton would try to cuddle with him from time to time when they have their movie nights. To which he always tensed up at but didn't want to say anything. But Patton could always feel the tension and would slowly push away. To which he always felt bad for doing since he knows Patton loves to cuddle with everybody.

Logan would give him some pat on the backs and he would even jump at that touch.

Well, if he wanted somebody to touch him why did he react this way? Why did his body wanted, no needed, somebody else when at the same time it didn't? The others have noticed his reaction towards physical contact and now has stopped it all together.

To which made his heart ache even more.

The only time now that they would give him any physical contact is when he's having his attacks. He would be engulfed in arms and bodies as a way to ground himself. And for some reason, he didn't flinch at that. Rather it made him cry even more. Though that on top of his breathing exercises always calmed him down from such an attack. But as soon as he calmed down they would break away from him. He was always too exhausted to say anything back. To say that he wanted their hugs again. He wanted their touch.

He didn't know what to do. Was he sick somehow? He didn't know about any sickness like this.

One thought haunted his mind though when he thought like this. Was... Was he broken?

Sometimes those thoughts would blast into his mind at the most unfortunate of times. And well..this was one of those times.

He was sitting on a chair his knees to his chest, mindlessly watching the screen. It was one of their family movie nights, which Patton insist they have after they have had a rough couple of days.

He could hear chuckles from beside him and glanced over to see Roman and Patton cuddling. Patton was poking Roman's chest playfully as Roman was giggling as softly as he could.

Virgil glanced over at Logan who was beside them reading a book but was glancing up at the screen every so often. How he was able to do that Virgil still didn't know. He watched with longing eyes as Patton pulled Logan into their little cuddle session and was ruffling up his hair. His chest hurt even more at that moment watching them... Watching how happy they looked.

He gulped a lump in his throat as his body seemed to shake a bit.

Look at how much fun they are having without you

I bet if you joined them they would push you away

Why would they want to touch your disgusting, dirty, skin anyways

I bet they don't even love you at all

They are just saying that to pity you

They don't want you to run away again

You're useless to them

Just a tool to use

They only tolerate you

"SHUT UP!"

It took a few painful seconds before he realized he said that out loud.

And a few more painful seconds before he noticed something hot against his cheeks. Bringing his very shaky hand to his cheek he drew it back to realize he was crying. When did he start crying? Why were his hands shaking so badly?

With one sudden movement, he practically fell off his chair and ran towards the stairs. He completely forgot that he could just drop into his room. His thoughts were banging around in his head. Those words echoing into every inch of his mind. His body was shaking so badly he honestly wasn't sure how he was walking at this point.

As soon as he made it to his room he locked his door and climbed into the thick high blankets on his bed. His skin itched for contact. He just wanted to be loved.

Loved for once in his life.

A loud bang exploded in his ears causing him to jump so far his head hit the headboard causing a whimper to escape from his lips, and his eyes to grow hazy. His hands gripped his sides as he curled up under the blankets. He didn't even realize he couldn't hear anything now other than his loud thumping heart in his chest. He also didn't realize how badly he was shaking at how badly he was crying into his sheets and blane-

Suddenly he heard another loud bang, this time even bigger than the last which caused him to scream out. Was something about to attack him? Was there some monster trying to get to him?

He felt the blankets surrounding him leave him. His warmth. That warmth was only replaced by a sudden burst of scorching heat against his skin. Screaming out he kicked the sudden heat hoping it would stop.

As sudden as that heat was it vanished only to leave him now with the shivers. That heat now went to his hands but it wasn't as searing as the heat around his body. No, it was more..gentle. Softer.

As his thoughts focused on that gentle heat he could finally hear what was going on around him even though his lungs felt like they were going to collapse. That he couldn't breathe in any air-

"Virgil. Virgil. Listen to my voice."

He glanced up towards the voice and could faintly see through his haziness that it was Logan.

"Good. Okay now let's do your breathing exercises. Breathe in for four seconds."

Virgil did exactly that to the best of his ability.

"Hold your breath for seven seconds."

He tried to follow his instructions though he let out a cough not even halfway through. He tried to mumble out that he was sorry but Logan assured him it was fine. They had to do it a few more times before he could breath okay.

As he was gaining his sense of what was around him he saw he was still on the bed. Logan was holding his hands together and his expression was one of..concern. Deep concern. The blankets were tossed aside on the ground.

Patton had tears streaming down his cheeks as his hands were on his face in horror.

Roman had his sword in his hand and he could see his knuckles was a pearly white against the dark handle of the blade. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, maybe even shaking a bit himself.

"I-Im..sorry.." He hiccuped as he was crying again. Now he felt guilty about this. They were having such a great time and he had to ruin it...

"Virge..honey. Don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong. Do..do you want to talk about it?"

Oh god's..now he can't say that he's fine. He knew they will continue to pester him about what triggered this attack if he doesn't say anything. But how can he explain it? What words can he even say? As he glanced up at Patton he could see that he wanted to hug him.

With that thought, he noticed Logan still had his hands in his. He didn't know what to do.

He started shaking again to which Logan noticed and backed his hands away. Virgil let out a whimper his hands mindlessly grabbing at air as he silently pleaded for the warmth to come back.

Logan looked shocked and confused as his hands went on top of Virgil's again. His body was screaming for more warmth but his mind was telling him to run. He once again started shaking before he heard his name and whipped up towards it.

"Virgil? Do you want this?" He gestured to his hands with his chin.

Virgil once again was at a loss for words. "Y-Yes... No.. I-I...want.. I..don't know.." He managed to mumble out.

Logan glanced towards the blankets around them then back at Virgil and his hands. "Virgil. You want to run away but at the same time want more don't you?"

Virgil simply nodded. Silently thanking him that he understood.

Logan drew in a breath as he glanced towards the others as well.

Virgil thought he looked angry for a second before he really took in his expression. He seems to be..calculating.

"Okay, I think I know what's going on. You seem to be extremely touch starved Virgil... But from years of not having any physical contact at all your mind simply doesn't know how to handle any form of contact. So it naturally rejects it. Am I right, Virgil?" His eyes looked more into Virgil as he asked his question to which Virgil nodded eagerly. He took notice that Logan's voice was a bit shaky, he's never heard Logan like this.

He didn't even know there was a term for it.. 'Touch starved'... So he wasn't broken after all. He was a bit surprised Logan got it so quickly it was just like that one time in Patton's room...

When he nodded Patton gasped even though he was covering his mouth Virgil can still see his bottom lip wobble as a few tears escaped from the corner of his eyes. That made Virgil feel even more guilty.

Roman, on the other hand, looked heartbroken in his own way. His eyes held tears in them, tears that were threating to leak out.

He seemed to shrink away at all their looks. Their pitiful looks. Their..heartbroken looks. It wasn't their fault... It was his...

As Logan noticed Virgil tense up again his hands gripped Virgil's tighter.

"We should have noticed sooner... I'm sorry kiddo..." Patton mumbled under his hands.

"We can fix our mistake though... Right, Logan?" Roman whispered, even his voice was breaking.

Logan nodded, "Yes we can.. I believe if we start small, simply holding hands, etc. then you will eventually get used to being touched. Does that sound alright to you Virgil?"

Virgil eagerly nodded his head again, from his pure exhaustion light was spilling from his eyes. He wanted that so much. It sounded so nice to him. "Y-Yes... Please.."

He was faintly aware of how needy he was being right now. But in all honesty, he didn't care. He wanted to be hugged by them. Loved by them. He wanted to know what a true hug was like and what it's like to not feel fear from a simple hug.

The others smiled at him as they leaned forward and cupped both Logan's and Virgil's hands. A small smile formed on his lips as he felt the others warmth on his skin. It felt..so nice. A slight chuckle escaped from him as he felt the small ache in his chest slowly became smaller at that moment.

Roman glanced over to the ground, "By the way sorry about your door. I think I can fix it easily."

Virgil broke from his chuckle to look at his door to find it wasn't there. His eyebrows raised up as he glanced at the ground all around them to find..bits of his door. It looked like it was cut down by a sword.

A bark of laughter escaped him as he shook his head, "R-Roman!"

But at hearing his laughter they all broke into laughter. Their small moment evaporated into another. He didn't realize that he worried Roman, his family, that badly that he would break down a door for him. But his heart soared at the fact that he would even do that for him.

The very next morning as he came down the stairs Patton was there making breakfast as normal, as he came over to grab some coffee he felt a warmth in his hand. Glancing down he saw Patton was holding his hand and giving him a smile.

"Good morning kiddo. Pancakes as normal?"

That small touch sent a shiver through him. But it wasn't a bad shiver. No, it was a shiver that went to his very soul. A shiver that he wanted to feel for the rest of his life. A smile formed on his lips as he mumbled quietly a small blush forming on his cheeks, "Y-Yes.."

He had never felt so happy by that simple touch then he had in his entire life. It might be slow in progress. But he can't wait for the day when one of his family can hug him and he will feel content in it. But until that day comes every single little touch was enough for him. It sent a little flutter in his chest.

But most importantly it made the ache in his heart slowly melt away.

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