#oh my beloved little radiators I've missed you so much ;_;
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goatsandgangsters · 2 years ago
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CURRENTLY I HAVE HEAT!!!!!!! 
I don’t have hot water yet. a different maintenance guy is taking a call outside my window asking someone for help because he can’t figure out what’s wrong with the hot water tank and I’m eavesdropping. seeeeeeems like they fixed the boiler though? didn’t quite catch what was wrong with it and I’m somewhat Concerned the heat might be temporary, since the boiler is apparently connected to the as-yet-unfixed-hot-water-tank. we shall see. bc I can make do without hot water for a bit, that’s fine, but no heat? in this weather? nooooo thankk youuuuuu
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eldoria-radio · 4 months ago
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# FILE 2
[Welcome back, dear listeners. I'm beyond happy to have you back with me for another episode of "Whispers in the Aether". Tonight I have something oh so special for you. But you're used to that, yes? When do I bring you something that isn't special?]
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[There's many different rumors circling our beloved town. Some hold truth, some do not. A few depend on you, my dear listeners, to be considered true. Others don't want to be believed in the first place. They're quite a fascinating bunch, wouldn't you agree? One of those, you may categorize it yourself, or let it do the job itself, is what I bring you tonight.]
[Have you heard of the "Soul Syndicate"? A group of powerful creatures who have found a way to bend reality itself. Quite fascinating, isn't it? Powerful stuff. I've never been able to cast even the most simple spells! Reality bending sounds pretty hard, for my standards at least.]
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[Either way, witnesses, whose degree of reality all depend on your belief, express that they have been trapped. Magical contracts written in invisible ink, signing away one's soul to the Syndicate's strange plans. It is said those stolen souls are used for trades across dimensions, through portals in hidden places and exchanged for artifacts and forbidden knowledge. This exploitation of energy grants phenomenal powers, sometimes even wishes, depending on the type of soul, I hear. Still, it is safe to say that deals with strangers radiating strange, powerful magic is not the best idea. Fae rules apply anywhere. Don't give your name, don't agree to anything until you have your attorney, don't pick up strange things from the ground. It really is that simple to keep your soul from being traded illegally. Even though their goals and the truth behind their motivation remains elusive, it's safe to assume these traders of souls don't quite have our best interest in mind.]
[Talking of strange businesses, I recently ran into Faelan. Lovely guy, really. I just can't help but pity him. He looks so exhausted all the time. Poor thing really does need a vacation.. If I heard Callio correctly his birthday is coming up soon. Perhaps a spa day would make a nice present? Hmm.. Yes, I'll have to think about it. He certainly deserves it! That fella does quite a lot of unpaid work around the office. Heavens, he pays us! The guy is our sponsor for crying out loud! Sigh.. Oh dear, I've been rambling again, haven't I? Oh dear. Apologies, that really isn't what this show is for.]
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[So, what do you think, my dear little roaches? Have you signed any strange contracts recently? Are you exhausted? Sick? Dehydrated? You could be missing your soul.. Or our dear sponsor; Starside Steep! I'm pretty sure you've heard of it before. It's a lovely tea brand! All sorts of different herbal and fruit combinations! The good stuff your granny makes you when you're over! Or that good nostalgic beverage your mom used to make you when you were a sick little roach! Ah, good memories. Thank you so much to our dear sponsor, you really do deserve a vacation, Faelan. Another thank you goes out to @Sk1n._.m0n.56, thank you for supporting our program. My name is Isadora Nightshade and this was "Whispers in the Aether". You're listening to Eldoria Radio.]
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r3monnn · 3 years ago
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a/n: There was literally no xiao x traveller (you) x venti so, I took it upon myself to torture you with my bad writing. I know, you're welcome.
You laughed as Xiao looked away blushing a little. You and Xiao had been doing commissions and artifact hunting all day. In between those, you two would goof around and tease each other, well mostly you. But you were able to catch xiao's lips curving up a bit here and there.
Everything was fine... Right?
Aw, you were wrong poor little Windblume! That's right, you were not supposed to be spending so much time with this adeptus. Well no one at all for that matter, No one other than him. Who you ask? Well who else than a certain anemo archon who is watching you two flirt.
His eyes held a darkness that would send shivers down your spine. He was waiting for you to end the hangout but you weren't even thinking about going home now.
Your pretty little smile, which was like sunshine but Windblume it's directed to someone else, and that thought alone made the archon grit his teeth. You were his. You were supposed to smile like that only to him and because of him.
Now don't get me wrong, being the god of freedom he very well knew that he had to let you interact with others. He knew... But he couldn't help but feel anger bubbling up in his chest, if not then a sense of discomfort. But he knew better than to act on his emotions, he is an archon! Of course he knew better, he would try to calm his head but when his anger dies down, all he feels is the immense sense of sadness. He hides it from you, not wanting to bring you down or upset you. Fear.
You and xiao entered the wangshu Inn, with a certain anemo god trailing behind in the sneakiest way possible that even the great adeptus xiao couldn't notice. Well partially because he was entranced by you.
Looking out from that place was always very nice. The cool breeze would make you feel so calm, it made you remember him.
You couldn't help but miss your significant other, your Venti. The winds carried your thoughts to him. The bard who was practically radiating venom at this point softened a bit when he heard the winds.
Signing at your obliviousness, he thought he'd step in. "Windblume! Where were you! I've been wandering around liyue all day- oh, is that adeptus xiao I see?"
Your eyes glimmered up with joy, "Venti! I missed you! I'm sorry, me and Xiao were having fun- I I mean doing commissions all day!" Xiao became less joyed, visibly. He knew venti's identity so he couldn't really be displeased with a god, let alone the anemo god. "Greetings, venti. I'm surprised you're here."
Venti's mischievous eyes moved to the quiet adeptus, "Well what else to do, if you would steal my beloved for an entire day- I have to come take back what's mine, hm?"
Xiao's eyes widened a bit. The whole liyue and mondstadt knew that venti and you were together but xiao isn't the one to listen to gossip or rumors. But he couldn't believe that you were together with the Barbatos! His hands formed fists and casted his gaze away," I apologise, lord Barbatos."
"Hey Venti, don't be mean to xiao! He is my good friend and besides it's me who dragged him along with me." Your hands wrapped around xiao's," Sorry, xiao- he doesn't mean anything."
You could feel slender yet firm arms loop around your neck and waist, "My Cecilia, you could've invited your boyfriend if you wanted help that badly. I would have gladly followed you wherever you went." He leaned down so that his lips grazed your ear softly, "Or, is it that you wanted to sneak away from my grasp, with a different entity, hm?" Xiao could only look at you two with a shocked and disheartened expression as he felt bile rising up to his throat seeing the archon and his favorite person clumped up so close to each other.
You couldn't help but let out a soft whimper, closing your eyes, "X-xiao, I think I have to leave for today. I hope we can hang out later." With that you let go of his shaky hands and let yours fall into eager archons warm grasp as he smiled oh so smugly.
"See you later, adeptus!"
..................................................
You found yourself being softly pushed against venessas tree at windrise, softly but tightly. His long fingers trailed up your arm and on to your neck sending shivers, sliding his index finger underneath your chin, softly holding it up making you look into his eyes.
"So, windblume, what happened?"
You sighed shakily, looking down. Couldn't reply having no words coming out of your mouth, mind all fuzzy from the proximity. His soft breath hitting your neck, his knee in between your legs, his other hand resting on your waist just above your hip.
"what's wrong? Cat got your tongue? You know I waited for you. Finishing some work up, I looked for you and saw you with Xiao." He paused a bit, teal heavy lidded eyes looking down at you, moving his hand behind your neck, tangling his fingers with your soft locks. Sent goosebumps across your neck and arms.
"Venti... I'm sorry. I... Forgot to tell you that, Xiao would be helping me today..."
"Hmm, I very well saw that for myself. But that's not the point windblume. You're free to be friends with people but what I don't like is, you being clueless and being so close to someone who clearly has feelings for you. If you don't start becoming more aware of people around you..." He leaned closed to your ear, whispered, "I might not be the nice Venti you know me as anymore. I have my limits too you know. And after what you did today... All I want to do is remind you who you truly belong to."
Your face flushed, heat radiating off of you as you struggled to say anything back. You weren't intimated or anything, it's just the situation, how he said it to you,you were overwhelmed but- in a good way. You knew venti got jealous easily but he never brought it up so clearly, you never thought he would be so... Suggestive about it too. You grabbed his cape and hid your reddened face onto his shoulder. "Take me then." Everything felt so hazy, butterflies never stopped erupting from your stomach, your mind was clouded, ventis sweet scent numbing your senses. Your grip on his loosened as he cupped your face with one hand as he pulled you close by your waist with the other, "Scream my name tonight, will you? Make every one in teyvat know that you're mine. And mine alone, even to those who don't want to hear it." With that he pulled you into a heated kiss, which you could only describe as dreamy, his warmth, scent and closeness made you feel so high, making it impossible for you to think about anything but him. Venti, venti, venti, venti....your Barbatos.
If you guys like it, even a bit. Let me know if you want the nsfw continuation. If not I hope you enjoyed this rare piece of even though trash but still jealous venti x reader fanfic. :) I really enjoyed writing this, hope it was not ooc, and yeah! Hope we all get venti on his rerun, those who have him and those who don't have him.
Oh also! Let me know if you'd like for me to write venti/kaeya/Childe/zhongli or other chara x reader:) have an amazing day!!!
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forkanna · 7 years ago
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[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]
NOTE:  Sorry for the long waits. I swear I'm not just being lazy (well most of the time), I'm working on other projects that will hopefully see the light of day soon!
"I did it," Elphaba breathed, beside herself as she watched her sister walk closer to Boq at the speed of an unsteady toddler. "Finally, from these powers of mine… something good."
Glinda heard that — the deep guilt that laced through every syllable, quiet as the rustling of grass in a breeze. She wrapped that up and tucked it away, needing to study the truth of it later when she had the chance. There and then, she wanted to keep watching. To find out what their former classmate would think of Elphaba's sister having the use of her legs for the first time in her life.
"Oh, goodness," Boq breathed, a hand at his mouth. By the time her hands lay upon his shoulders, she was laughing, the pure, unfiltered laugh of someone who had been relieved of a burden for the first time in her young life, but he was merely struck dumb. Finally, his head swung around to point at Elphaba. "You… you did this, didn't you?"
"I did. It's… the least I can do for my family, now that I've discovered this power. Maybe it's too little, too late, but I tried."
While the young man was still glancing between all of them, beside himself, Nessa took up one of his limp hands. "Don't you see? I… I can travel with you now, I don't have to keep you here! We can open the borders for the both of us! With my legs now working, a-and me knowing Elphaba isn't wicked after all… what's to stop us now?"
For a few seconds, the room was at a standstill. Glinda and Elphaba were shifting uncomfortably, feeling the splashback of the intensity Nessarose was radiating at her accomplice. Privately, Glinda wanted to breathe a sigh of relief at Nessa realising how mistaken she had been about her sister, but this didn't seem to be the time nor place — especially when she was reeling from the knowledge that the Munchkinland borders were only closed because she wanted to keep Boq on a short leash. Was she really so selfish as that?
Meanwhile, Boq himself looked between her and the others, struggling to come up with a reply. At long last, he said, "Oh… this is wonderful news. It changes everything!"
"I know! Everything!" Then she blinked in mild shock as he began to walk past her. "Wh-where are you going?"
Much to Glinda's horror, the staturally-challenged man grasped one of her hands in both of his. She was still blinking at that when he whispered, "Oh, Miss Galinda… how long I've waited to tell you!"
"Tell me what?" A heartbeat later, she added, "And it's 'Glinda' now."
"How much I care for you! How enchanted I've always been with you from the very beginning!"
All three women burst out in a single word: "WHAT?!"
"Your soft, gentle grace, that flawless blonde hair that curls gently to your shoulders, and- well, I can't say enough about your smile!" Sighing like a besotted child having been given his first puppy, he held her hand up and pressed it into his heart, earning only an exasperated gasp from Nessarose. "And I know that I might not be able to win you over, given that I'm just a Munchkinlander, but… oh, can't you give me a chance?"
"Gosh!" Glinda breathed, fluttering her eyelashes. In point of fact, her hair looked like a wind-tossed tree branch, and she didn't feel particularly gentle or graceful anymore. But she would be lying to herself if she tried to claim the flattery did not feel the tiniest bit gratifying. Therefore, she simply fluttered her eyelashes and giggled when he pressed a kiss to the hand. "That's so kind of you, Biq! I had no idea you felt so strongly!"
"No," Nessa breathed, staggering closer to her sister, a hand over her mouth. Glinda hated to see the woman so joyful one moment, and so crestfallen the next. She might have been a stranger to her, but she was still a person, and deserved to enjoy being able to walk for the first time in her life without the moment being ruined by something as stupid as this! How could he be so insensitive?
"Well, what do you say?" he persisted.
"Sorry," Glinda breathed softly, trying to cause as little of a scene as she could. "I hardly know you, and even back at Shiz, I was always more partial to Fiyero! Remember him?" That didn't seem to make a dent, so she continued, "Anyway, it doesn't matter because I'm just not interested in pursuing that kind of relationship right now. With anyone! So… so maybe we can be friends. Wouldn't that be nice?"
Slowly, his energetic expression began to lessen, a little at a time. He didn't quite frown, but he looked like the light behind his eyes had been snuffed by a strong breeze. Then he said, "I won't give up. You don't realise how earnest I am, and that's fine; I can wait. I'll wait a thousand years!"
"NO!" Nessa burst out. And when they turned to look at her… she saw something between her fingers. Something that did not belong to her.
Elphaba immediately burst out, "You give that back, Nessa!"
"There has to be something," she murmured, flicking through the pages of the Grimmerie with desperation. "Something in here to… to keep Boq from leaving me!"
"There isn't," Boq told her confidently, abandoning Glinda's hands with some obvious regret. "If Glinda isn't interested in coming with me, then I'll leave on my own."
"But haven't I been good to you?!" she demanded, wetness streaming down her cheeks. "These past two years, I gave you everything, I- I brought you here, gave you a place to stay, and didn't make you wait on me when you wanted time to yourself! I even…" Her eyes turned away, stung by the tears. "I even let you handle my shoes!"
The exasperated Munchkin threw up both arms as he exclaimed, "Who cares about your stupid shoes?! What possible reason would anybody have to care about that?! I didn't mind helping you, waiting on you when you can't wait on yourself, but I didn't want to — I wanted to be free! For all of our people to be free! Can't you see what you've been doing to us?! You're turning our homeland into… into a prison! It's horrible, and I want no part of it anymore!"
When he took a step toward the door, she shouted, "You'll never leave! The guards will stop you at the Emerald border, you know that! So… so just come back right now, and all will be forgiven!"
Boq barely spared her a glance. Instead, he looked at Glinda. "I really will wait for you."
"Yippee," she muttered under her breath.
"You ungrateful snake!" Flipping another few pages, she slapped a hand in the middle of the book and shouted, "HA! Your heart will be mine forever — it's right here! Ah... Tum... Tah... Tae..."
Instantly, Elphaba was by her side, eyes flicking between the page and her sister's manic gleam as she continued to chant. "Wh-what are you trying to do to him? Your pronunciation sounds…" She squinted down, then looked up at her with a stricken expression. "Nessa, h-how is your Ancient Lurlinic?!"
"A-AH!" Boq exclaimed, collapsing to the floor. "M-my chest, it's- what's h… happeni…"
That was as far as he got. His mouth hung open as he twitched and lay still.
"Boq?" Nessa's eyes flew wide as she took a hesitant step forward, gazing down in horror at what her ill-conceived spellwork had wrought. "BOQ?! What happened?!"
Not quite as distraught as the Eminent Thropp but still worried, Glinda flew over to Elphaba's side and hissed, "Can't you do something?!"
"You know I can't! You can't reverse a spell once it's been cast — and I didn't cast it, anyway!" Snatching the book out of her sister's hands, she began to page through it. "But maybe there's something else…"
"This is your fault!" Nessa was screaming as she crouched on the floor next to the man's body. "If you hadn't shown me that horrendible book, I would never h-"
"OH, STUFF IT!" Glinda screeched down at her, fists down by her side. "What kind of woman are you?! Casting a spell on poor little Biq just because he's not interested in you? That's pretty petty, Netty!"
"Nessa!" she corrected without thinking. But she was already looking down at him again. "And… oh… I know it is, I… please, just save him! Do something, anything!"
But Elphaba was already doing something. Book clutched in one hand, arm acting as a makeshift stand to prop it up just below her bosom, her other hand began to swirl through the air as she chanted, filling the room with a thick presence that could only be felt, not seen. Glinda knew such a gesture wasn't strictly necessary, but given that Elphaba was far better at spells than she had ever been, perhaps there was some merit in doing it, after all.
"S-something's happening," Nessa whispered, edging away from his body. "What… but this isn't… what have you done?"
"What I can," was all she panted once she was through, sagging with the weight of having poured her heart and soul into the effort. Magic seemed to sap her stamina when it was a stronger spell. "I… I'm sorry."
All three of them gaped down at the form below them. It was no longer a Munchkin. Truth be told, it wasn't even a person. Gleaming tin caught the firelight from all over his form, barrel chest that looked like a giant boiler, legs that looked like stovepipes. He who had been Boq was no more; whatever he had become was something else altogether.
"Elphaba… he's a tin toy. You've turned my beloved, sweet, brave Boq into…" Bitter tears slid down her cheeks as she grasped his arm, and she shivered. "Oh, what have I done to deserve this?! Why would you do this to me?!"
"I've only done as you asked. All I've ever done is what you asked!" No answer came. Snapping the book shut, she tucked it under her arm. "Nessa, I have done everything I could for you but it has never been enough. And now I see that it never will be. Good day to you."
"Wait, Elphie," Glinda whispered, taking a quick step forward. "She's grieving, she- maybe if you-"
"No. We are finished here. Come along, Glinda, we'll… we'll leave her to her toys and her tyranny."
And that was that. Nessa spoke no more for all her weeping, and Elphaba seemed to have nothing to say. Glinda took a step toward the broom, then rushed back to Nessa, ignoring the impatient tutting from their broom-pilot.
"Listen," she whispered to Nessa, who only sobbed louder. "You… may not be able to hear me right now, but… you mustn't blame yourself. Or Elphie. This just… this is just a big tangle of accidents all in the same ball of yarn. I am sorry about your friend, though. He didn't quite-"
"Leave me alone!" she screamed, raw and unhinged. "He could never love me while you existed! I never want to see your flawless face again!"
"Y-you can't mean that," she breathed. "How is it my fault if y-"
"GO!"
So they went.
"That was an awful thing to have happened," Glinda breathed as Nest Hardings fell away beneath them, the sky swallowing them up as the guards finally began to pour into Colwen Grounds. "I just… don't know what she thought she was going to accomplish by bespelling his heart that way! And then she blamed you for not 'fixing' it right! What more does she want?!"
"He was already dead," Elphaba said flatly. "She wanted the impossible, as usual. Poor, stupid Nessa. There are no shortcuts out of the afterlife without much too high a cost."
Glinda thought that sentiment was a bit harsh, but she held her tongue.
                                                            ~ o ~
As they sped off through the night, it became clearer that Elphaba was closing herself off. The more Glinda tried to encourage her to talk about what she had just experienced, the less she seemed to want to say. She could understand; if it had been her spellwork that turned a man to metal, she would be losing her marbles, too. However, there was no sense in dwelling on it.
Which she finally got Elphaba to respond to, just as they were passing over the Forest of the Fighting Trees.
"I know," she snapped angrily. "None of this is precious Nessa's fault, none of it's my fault. Or Boq's. You understand that, right?"
"Yes, of course," Glinda sighed in relief. "It's just one of those things that happens sometimes, right? When-"
"It's the Wizard's fault."
Her heart sank, the relief already gone on the winds behind them. "Really?"
"Don't you see? He's the one who drove me away, who… set me up to take the blame for those monkeys being changed! With me gone, disgracing the family name, Father worried himself into the grave. Father being gone made Nessa have to step into his place, since I was a fugitive — and she was in the position, she had the power to force Boq to stay by her side. We both know that old phrase about absolute power corrupting absolutely, don't we?"
"Well… it is a bit of a stretch, but I can't say there's any incorrectitude. So the Wizard pulls strings and everything spirals downward. So what? It's not like we can do anything about it."
"Time Dragon take it all, we can, too! And… we are!"
Both hands gripped hard on the broom handle, bringing them around to aim slightly south from their previous heading. Squealing and holding onto her friend more tightly, she called out, "Where are you taking us?!"
"To the Emerald City! This stops NOW!"
All that could be heard floating out behind them after that was Glinda's wail of despair and resignation.
                                                            ~ o ~
A stroke of luck befell the pair as they flew in through a high window and entered the Wizard's spacious throne room: it was unattended. Glinda bit her lip to recall how things had taken such a dark turn the last time they visited; a few misplaced words of a spell, a breaking of trust, and their entire lives had changed in an instant. Even now, she felt they were making a grave mistake in returning to the scene of the crime, but Elphie had refused to heed her warnings all the way there.
As they neared the "great and terrible" mechanical head that he used to intimidate the masses, Glinda leaned over and again whispered, "This is stupid. We're going to get ourselves thrown… underground!"
"No, we will not," Elphaba protested firmly, laying her broom down as she paced back and forth. "He'll be here, and we will have words. And you and I both know my explosion spell has never been explosionier; if things go wrong, I'll 'create' a new exit for us. Please, don't be worried."
"Pardon me if I worry anyway. I can't believe you wanted to come back here! Is your memory that bad that you already forgot how he tried to shoehorn you into Assistant To The Regional Wizard?" Sighing, she scuffed at the floor with her travelling boot as Elphaba looked this way and that, a hand shadowing her eyes. "And it doesn't even look like he's here, unless he's turned into a tapestry."
"I HAVE NOT!" the head boomed.
"OH, my Ozness!"
Elphaba did not react with quite the same level of shock as her compatriot. Instead, she merely sighed and called out, "Enough of the theatrics! I'm here to talk, but not to a giant puppet!"
"FINE." A moment later, the white-haired, pot-bellied old man emerged from behind the enormous bust of himself, smiling apologetically at the pair. Though he always looked rather grand in his top and tails, watch chain swinging from his vest pocket, the smear of grease on his cheek somewhat diminished the overall effect. "I was repairing one of the mechanisms; this thing breaks down more often than you'd think!"
"Your Wizardship," Glinda said immediately, bowing, then trying to turn the bow into a curtsy in mid-motion. "How have you been keeping?"
"Oh, well enough, well enough," he said in a genial tone. "Knew you'd be back. Oh, I knew you would, even after… well, that strongly-worded reply to your letter."
"You threatened us," Elphaba said without embellishment.
"Morrible threatened you," he nuanced, holding up a finger as his other hand grasped his lapel. "Her word choices, not mine. Besides, that letter was meant to be encouragement! A petition for you to come back and compromise. Surely you realise that I wouldn't waste such a resource as you and Miss Galinda on imprisonment, don't you?"
Glancing back and forth between them, Glinda cleared her throat and said, "N-no, we didn't. And it's 'Glinda', if you please, Wizliness."
"Glinda, Elphaba… the witches." Waving a hand at their glares, he said, "I don't see why a witch is so much worse than a wizard, anyway. That's up to the people of Oz. It would be interesting to ask them why one label is less palatable than the other when they have the same connotation: a person who, one way or another, suddenly finds themselves a bit more… magical than before."
"You don't have any magic," Elphaba accused baldly. "If you did, you wouldn't have tricked me into hurting Chistery and the other monkeys!"
A heavy sigh floated out of him, rustling the hairs above his lip. "It is true. All of my 'magic' is slight-of-hand, a shrewd use of modern invention… I'd try to protest, but you're a bit sharper than the average citizen of Oz."
"Then what do you want from me?" she demanded.
"To combine forces. My wit, and the people's faith in me… you and your perky blonde pal's powers, and we could do great things together! And you wouldn't have to keep running… wouldn't have to plan your own futures…" He leaned over to one side, as if hoping this would lend the other two a new perspective, as well.
"I like being in charge of my future," Glinda pouted. "It might not be a great one right now, but isn't that the only thing we truly have in the end? Control of our own fates?"
"Quite right! Quite right, my little dewdrop," he said with a nod, rocking back onto his heels. The "dewdrop" curled her lip at the term of endearment; he ignored that. "But there's a difference between getting to make the important choices, and having to make them all. Isn't there?" When neither of them responded, he spread his arms wide. "Let me take care of both you girls. You did a thing I found very disappointing when you took that book, very distressing, but if you just return it, swear to fall in line with the way things are run in the Emerald City, I promise you'll live like princesses!"
That only pulled an eyeroll from Elphaba. "I never had any desire to be a princess. Nor for someone to take care of me. Besides, what guarantee do we have that you won't just throw us in the dungeon when you have the Grimmerie?"
"You have my word."
"What's that worth in emeralds?" Glinda scoffed. "Nothing! You did set your soldiers on us, purely because we ran away when you tricked us! As far as I'm concerned, you're a… a naughty little boy who threw a tantrum because we didn't give your toy back!"
"But you took my toy," he said reasonably. "It did belong to me, didn't it?"
"I wonder." Narrowing her eyes, Elphaba paced back and forth in front of the Wizard. For his part, he tried to maintain that same genial facade, smiling beneath his mustache. "You can't use the book. We can. That's a very interesting fact. If I were to make a guess, I'd say it definitely doesn't belong to you."
Shrugging his shoulders, both of his hands went to the lapels of his coat. "Very good, very good. Though I didn't purloin the tome, if that's what you're implying. I found it. Here, actually; here in the palace."
"That's awfully forthrightful of you," Glinda said.
"Why shouldn't I say as much? Knowing it used to be here won't change the fact that yes, I'm the ruling head of Oz, and yes, the book belongs to me right now since it was in the palace when I found it. Correct?"
"Supposing we accept that," Elphaba continued, "what's to stop us from seizing control of the throne?"
"Um," Glinda began, but a wave of Elphaba's hand silenced her. She wanted to hear the Wizard's response.
"Oh, not much. I never asked for this, or planned it in advance. I was merely blown here by the winds of chance! When the folks in Oz needed someone to believe in, I swooped in from a land afar, and… well, the rest is history. Who was I to resist being worshipped like a king? I'm no George Washington." He held up a finger when he saw a pair of green nostrils flaring in anger and impatience. "However! I believe I should remind you that Madame Morrible is also lurking about here somewhere. If you try to depose me by force, she'll show you just how much power she has at her command."
"She couldn't read the book, either," Elphaba shot back, striding toward him. "Only a handful of spells; less than Glinda now. Which tells me she isn't so powerful after all. If she were, why doesn't she fix the real problems in Oz?"
His head cocked slightly as he considered. "Is that what it tells you? Hmm. Might be. Or it might not be. Who can say?"
This finally forestalled the two witches. They certainly weren't about to go around ceding points to the pompous windbag — not after he had either requested or allowed Morrible to order them to surrender and "accept their fate". But he was certainly giving them something to think about; a warning.
"What do you say?" he finally whispered when a time had passed and they did not respond. "Come on board the S.S. Wizard. Be part of my little family! Oh, I'd so like to have someone a little less… belligerent than Morrible to associate myself with. A couple of… apprentices? Peers, junior wizardesses?"
"You would pardon us entirely?" Glinda pressed him, voice cautious but hopeful. "For taking the book, and running, and any spells we used? That sounds too good to b-"
"Wait." Elphaba held an arm out in front of her friend as she took a step forward. Glinda couldn't help but feel both irritated at being silenced, and proud of Elphie for asserting herself. "You've made a habit out of telling lies to the people of Oz. How can we believe a word you say?"
"Ah, well, that's… you see, I'm…" He chuckled. "You've got me, I suppose. Haven't been a very honest chap, have I?"
"You can do something to prove yourself." Drawing herself up to her full height, she ordered, "Release the monkeys. As a gesture of goodwill, not as part of our negotiations. I've never done anything dishonest, and I don't think Glinda's capable of that at all."
"Hey!" she hissed. "I can fabricate with the best of them, probably! I just… haven't needed to very much!"
"But that's all you've ever done," Elphaba went on as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Lie, over and over. You're the only one whose word is in question. We need some proof up front that you can make good. Set those monkeys free, and we'll talk."
For the first time, they could both clearly see the indecision cross the old man's face. His lips worked and he paced back and forth, debating the pros and cons — sometimes aloud, under his breath. Then he shrugged and turned back to them.
"Done."
Striding over to the enormous head, he reached inside somewhere they couldn't see. A cranking sound filled the room as a large door wheeled up the wall, opening the way for a flood of winged monkeys to come pouring out. Their fur was the colour of coal, their leathery bat-wings stretching out from their backs; no doubt they had been cramped in such close confines with each other. The one named Chistery came up to Elphaba, regarding her with caution.
"Fly," she bade him urgently under her breath. When he only tilted his head in the other direction, she motioned at him with both arms, flapping and shooing. "Fly free! Chistery, you're free, isn't it wonderful?! Go, fly!"
"It's okay!" Glinda put in, using her sweetest voice. "No one will stop you this time! Fly away, little monkey!"
The other monkeys didn't have to be told twice, but Chistery ambled a lot more slowly to the windows. Turning her back on him so that he might get the idea, Elphaba strode over to the doorway and peered through to a cage in the corner.
"And it looks like we missed one," she sighed.
"N-now wait," the Wizard began to warn her, eyes widening as he tried to rush over. "Please, that's not-"
Too late. The cage was filled with a baa-ing instead of a chittering. Elphaba staggered back in shock when she recognized the occupant.
"No. N-no, y… Dr. Dillamond?!"
"By Ozma and Lurline," Glinda breathed.
The Wizard hurriedly approached the dumbstruck woman, her green lips parted wide as she gaped down at the Goat who had once been a wise, capable teacher. Now, all he could do was bleat and gaze up at her balefully, perched upon a bed of straw.
"He's been well taken care of," the Wizard attempted. "Hasn't wanted for anything. Nor have the monkeys! We… well, them being a problem for us didn't mean they should starve, does it?"
"What have you done? Why can't he talk?" When no answer came, Elphaba took over for the man's habit of grasping his lapels, shaking him by them as she snapped, "Tell me!"
Flinching afresh at her volume, he hissed, "We couldn't keep letting him speak out, could we?! All that dissent and chaos, it's… not ideal, not good for the kingdom!"
"How is she doing it? How is Morrible doing this to them?!" He only winced, so she finally dropped him, turning instead to wave her hands in a whirl and blow the door to the cage with one of her trademark explosions of pure magical energy. Dillamond bleated and ran around and around in a panic, finally bolting through the hole once the smoke had dissipated and running off to the far end of the room.
"GOLLY!" Glinda hissed as she pushed up from her crouch at the explosion. "Couldn't you at least warn me? I'm on your side, you know!"
"The deal is off," her companion growled down at the defeated man. "There's no sense trying to reason with a charlatan, a… an old humbug like you! Become your apprentice?! I am nothing like you and I never will be, and I will fight you until the day I die!"
"Please, this is all a misunderstanding!" the Wizard wailed. But he was drowned out by the sound of the giant doors being wrenched open, of boots thundering across the stone.
"The guards!" Elphaba cursed. "Glinda, grab the broom!"
"You bet I will!" But as she picked it up, she noticed the one in the front of the group. "Oh… oh!"
"Oh, what?" Joining her side, she got an eyeful and said the same herself. "Oh!"
Fiyero Tiggular, his tall, dark looks and lean form, was leading the charge. Fiyero. He definitely looked a bit different than the last time they had seen him, encased in a captain's uniform such as he was. But it was him — a yet more dashing version, if the women were being honest with themselves. Glinda gripped the broom handle tighter, feeling her insides clench, her mind race and grow lighter at the thought of all the myriad feelings she had for him in their days at Shiz.
And he was as shocked to see them as they were to see him. "I don't believe it," he breathed, staggering to a halt, the muzzle of his rifle lowering as he took in the sight of his old friends.
"Thank Oz!" Glinda managed to breathe. "It's so good to see a friendly face!"
After a beat, Elphaba managed to breathe, "I… I thought you might have-"
"Silence, witches!" he commanded, raising the gun again and licking his lips thoughtfully. Elphaba and Glinda were just exchanging a glance when he snapped to the other guards, "Fetch me some water!"
"Water, sir?" one asked. "Isn't it a funny time to come over thirsty?"
"You heard me — as much as you can carry! Go!" They did as they were told, running off. Then he swung back to look at them. "You two have a lot of explaining to do."
Taking a step toward him, Glinda began to plead, "Fiyero, it isn't what you thought! We- that is, everything was- I didn't mean for-"
"I said, silence!" She shot backward, squeaking at the firmness in his voice and the incongruity of being bade to speak and then silenced. To the Wizard, whom had just been reaching up to pull a lever, he said, "Ah, ah! Don't even try it, Your Ozness, or I'll tell these two what the wonderful Wizard is really like."
This must have held some significant sway, because the man withdrew his hand, sinking down to the floor. Elphaba watched this take place, then turned to Fiyero and said in a gentler voice, "What are you doing? Aren't you going to catch us, put us in that cage?"
"Yes, after you frightened me half to death!" Glinda hissed at him. "Waving a gun around in a royal location!"
"No, I don't want to catch you." Again, he stared down at the Wizard, breathing fast and shallow as his chest heaved. "I want you to be free, and this is the only way I can help you."
"I need a drink," the Wizard muttered as he withdrew a green bottle from inside his coat pocket, uncorking it.
"So you truly want to help?" Elphaba asked. "But… what will you do? Leave the guard, just to tag along after us? For some reason, I can't see you doing that."
Nodding sadly, he glanced around the chamber. "Maybe not. But at least I can rest tonight knowing I didn't ignore my convictions."
"For a man with no brain, he sure is full of ideas," Glinda half-laughed. However, Elphaba didn't seem so amused. She approached him with wide eyes.
"Fiyero… we have to save Dr. Dillamond. He must be so frightened!"
Glancing between her eyes and those of the gin-guzzling Wizard on the floor, he nodded. "I'll search for him. You two have to escape; more guards will be coming, and Morrible, I'm sure. If you stick around… there's only so much I'll be able to do to protect either of you."
"Come with us," Glinda urged him, eyes streaming. His eyes were focused on Elphaba, which stung, but she went on, "We have a place - it's not much, barely a hole in the wall. But we're safe there!"
"Meet me in my family's spare castle on the mountain that overlooks Kiamo Ko," he hissed at them when they heard noise in the hallway outside the open doors. "It's abandoned — you'll be safe, and not in a hole! Now go, I'll find you when I can!"
"But you-"
"We have the water, sir!" one guard shouted as he came tromping inside. Fiyero had already raised his rifle to aim at Elphaba and Glinda, though they only gaped at him.
"Good! Throw it upon them — you've heard the rumours!"
Though both women shared a curious glance at that ominous line, they obeyed; not wanting to stick around for an impromptu bath, the witches took flight, Fiyero taking aim and missing them by a wide margin with the single shot he fired off even as water splashed uselessly against the floors. Glinda just caught the look of longing in his clear, piercing eyes before he was out of sight. Lost to them both yet again.
                                                             To Be Continued…
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