#oh if the fire ain't too bad you'll see just the smoke which can look identical to a cloud if far enough away or if it's white smoke.

[blueshykitsune-blog]

So bad air today where I live, likely a fire was nearby, probably a bigger one but not too close you know?

Smoky air and stuff. Makes the sky look white and such. Well I took a picture during sunset today. (Actually a but before or it'd probably be more red, the sun I mean.)

Btw the sun is orange, like extremely orange. This is one if the best looks one can get right now without going blind... or more blind. Also I may miss before it actually goes down as there's stuff around me that hides it... however if I find a picture I took a while ago of the sun I'll show it.

[librarianbusdriver]

Ted: Okay, where was I? You were telling us how you met mom. In excruciating detail. Right. So, back in 2005, When I was 27, My two best friends got engaged, And it got me thinking, maybe I should get married.

*Sigh*

And then I saw robin. She was incredible. I just knew I had to meet her. That's where your uncle barney came in. I suggest we play a little game I like to call Wait, no, no, no. We're not playing "have you met ted?" Hi. Have you met ted? So I asked her out. But after just one date, I was in love with her Which made me say something stupid. I think I'm in love with you. What?! Oh, dad. So then what happened? Nothing. I mean, I'd made a complete fool of myself. So, a week went by, and I decided not to call her. So you're not gonna call her? You went from, "I think I'm in love with you"

Trapped, the same hollow, dull story repeating again, and again, and again all around me. No way to change its course. No way to do anything but just... watch.

To "I'm not gonna call her"? I wasn't in love with her, okay? I was briefly in love with the abstract concept Of getting married. It had absolutely nothing to do with robin. Robin. Hi. Look who I ran into. Since when do you guys know each other? Oh, since about... Here. Lily recognized me From the news and... Hello, sailor! They just got engaged. Well, I should get back to the station. See you, guys. Nice seeing you, ted. Yeah, you, too. Thanks. What? Damn it! I'm in love with her. As your sponsor, I will not let you relapse. You blew it, it's over, move on. I don't know, I just have this feeling She's the future mrs. Ted mosby. ( Lily squeaks) Lily, you squeaked? She said something about me, didn't she? Come on, spill it, red! Fine. So, what do we think of ted? ( Iaughs) Ted's something else. Huh. I'm gonna spin that as good. Lots of guys are something, I'm something else. Comes on a little strong. But, that's part of my charm. But, that's part of his charm. Oh, totally. I mean, he's sweet, he's charming, He's just looking for something A little bit more serious than I am. I mean, the most I can handle right now is something casual. This just stays between us, right? Are you kidding? This flapper? Fort knox. Oops. She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm going to be a mushroom cloud of casual. Cause it's a game... I want her to skip To the end and do the whole happily-ever-after thing. But you don't get there unless you play the game. So, are you going to ask her out? Yeah... No! I can't ask her out, Because if I ask her out, I'm asking her out. So, how do I Ask her out without asking her out? Did you guys get high? I got it. I don't ask her out. I invite her To our party next Friday. We're having a party next Friday? We are now. Casual. Like inviting a hundred people over just to mack on one girl. Oh, and lily, that's my leg. You waited five minutes to tell me that? All right, so call her up. No, calling's not casual. I just got to bump into her somewhere. Now, if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter. That's great, ted... you'll be the most casual stalker ever. Put that ring on her finger, lily had been, Well, extra affectionate. ( chuckling ): Baby, no. I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday. Hey, I'm just sitting here, wearing my ring,

Wallachia, how I miss you.

My beautiful ring. ( Typing) Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't want to wear my shirt anymore. Or... My underwear. That's right, I'm not wearing any. ( Sighs ) No underwear? Not even slightly. Ted: Guys. Boundaries. Robin ( on tv ): Thanks, bill. I'm reporting from the razzle dazzle supermarket On 75th and columbus... 75th and columbus. Game on! Where four-year-old leroy ellenberg has climbed Inside a grab-a-prize machine and gotten stuck. ( Panting ) And, all in the pursuit of a stuffed, purple giraffe. For metro news 1, I'm robin trubotsky. Engineer: We're clear. Robin: Thanks, don. Whew. Ted. Robin, wow! What are the odds? Oh, you know, just, uh, shopping for, uh, dip. I love dip. I mean, I don't love dip, I like dip... ( chuckles ) so, uh, hey, you, uh, Reporting a news story or something? Yeah, kid stuck in a crane machine. How sweet of you to call it news. Wow. Kid in a crane machine. Mm-hmm. You just had to have that toy, didn't you? Couldn't play the game like everyone else. You're all sweaty! Cute kid. Um, you know, It's so funny I should run into you. We're, uh, we're having a party next Friday, If you feel like swinging by. But, you know, whatever. Oh, I'm going back home next weekend. It's too bad it's not tonight. It is... It's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, I guess I've been saying next Friday all week. But, yeah, it's tonight, the, uh, the party's tonight. But, you know, whatever. ( Phone rings) Hello? Hey, am I interrupting anything? No, no, I'm just writing my paper. Hitting the books. Yeah, well, you and lily Might want to put some clothes on. We're throwing a party in two hours. Okay, bye. What are you gonna do when robin shows up? Okay, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door... and where's ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, Showing some foxy young thing all my cool architect stuff. So, robin strolls over, and I casually give her one of these: "hey, what's up?" She says, "hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then, I say, "well, make yourself at home." And, I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later... "oh, you're still here?" I say, like I don't really care, But it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually: Both: The roof! Get her up to the roof, And the roof takes care of the rest. What's so special about the roof? Oh, the moon, the stars, the shimmering skyline. You can't not fall in love on that roof. We do it up there, sometimes. Solid plan, my little friend. But, may I suggest one little modification. Barney: That foxy young thing you were chatting up, Take her up to the roof and have sex with her. Crazy monkey style... That's not the plan. Barney: Well, it should be the plan. I mean, look at her. Ted, look at her. She's smoking! Thank you! Yeah... But, she's not robin! Exactly! Ted, let's rap. Statistic: At every new york party, There's always a girl who has no idea Whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, And you will never see her again. Do you see where I'm going with this? Barney, I don't think so. ( groans ) Scoping.

I miss it all. The childhood spent in that bountiful castle, the beauty of those rolling green fields...

( Imitates sonar beeping ) Scoping. Man, you're a dork. ( Accelerates beeping sound ) Target acquired! Now it's time we play a little game I like to call "have you met ted?" oh, come on, not this. Hi. Have you met ted? No. Hi. Hi. Do you know marshall? Lily? Woman: No. Hmm. Do you know anyone at this party? I work with carlos. Excuse me. Anyone know a carlos? No. No. On a silver platter. Bon appétit. I don't think so. Your loss, her gain. Excuse me. Can I show you the roof? It's magical up there. Sure. Ted: Wait, wait. Hey, hey, I got that roof reserved. Dude, robin's not coming. Hey, she's going to show up! She'll show up. Ted: She didn't show up. At least it was a great party. I ate, like, four whole cans of dip. You always know what to say, old friend. ( Phone ringing ) It's robin. No, no, not right away... got to seem casual. ( Ringing continues ) Hello? I'm so sorry I missed your party. Who is this? Meredith? Robin. Oh, robin! Hey! Yeah, I, uh, guess you never showed up, did you? No, I got stuck at work. But, they finally got that kid out of the crane machine. Did he get to keep the purple giraffe? Yeah, they let him keep all the toys. He was in there a long time, And little kids have small bladders. ( Chuckles ) robin: I wish your party Was tonight. It is... the party's tonight. Yeah, uh... It's a two-day party, 'cause that's just how we roll. Uh, so, if you want to swing by, you know, it's casual. See ya. So, that was robin. What are you Doing to me, man?! I got a paper to write! I know! Sorry! It's terrible! I'll buy more dip! Ted! Ted, wait! Get french onion! Can you believe this guy? I got a paper to write. Okay, fine. But, it's got to be, like, super-quick, And no cuddling after. I'm the luckiest girl alive. You were so right about the roof! The roof! The roof is on fire, ted! That girl from last night... I took her back to my place, Spun her around a couple times and sent her walking. She will never find her way back, and there she is. How did she get here? Did you invite her? I have no idea who that is. She said she works with carlos. Who's carlos? I don't know any carlos. ( Frustrated groan)

The conquests... the blood of my enemies spilled, and villages burnt to the ground in my name.

Hi, you! You're back! I sure am. Mmm. Come on, sweetie, I need a drink. "Sweetie"? Really? ( Barely audible ): Help. Whoa! Whoa, rabbits! Come on, I got that roof reserved. All right. So, it's over between me and works-with-carlos girl. Whoa! That was fast. Yeah. I was trying to think, What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met? I think I'm in love with you. What?! Thanks, bro. Glad I could help. What the... No, no, no. Come on. Sorry, ted. Great. What am I going to do when robin shows up? She'll show up. She didn't show up. All right. We threw two parties. Everybody had fun. Everybody wanged, everybody chunged. Now, the kid has got to get to work, And the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me. I will not have sex with marshall. Both: I will not have sex with marshall. ( Phone ringing ) It's robin. Hello? Hi, ted. Amanda? Oh, denise! Sorry, you totally sounded like amanda. It's robin. Oh, robin. Hi. I totally wanted to come. I got stuck at work again. I feel like I live there. I'm sorry I missed your party, again. Hey, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita. Who am I? I guess there's no chance your two-dayer Turned into a three-dayer? It did, indeed. The party continues tonight. Yeah. Uh, last night, people were like, "keep it going, bro. Party trifecta." Wow! Okay, well, I'll be there. Great! See you tonight. So, that was robin. So, I threw a third party for robin... On a Sunday night. Well, this is lame. Lame... Or casual? Lame. Or casual? Hey, law books. Ready for a little 15 minute recess? Sorry, baby, I got to work. I need all my blood up here. Has anybody seen an introduction to contract tort And restitution statutes from 1865-1923? Anybody seen a big-ass book? All ( muttering ): No. Woman: Hello, barney. Of course. You look well. Is it weird they invited both of us? Who? Who invited you? No one even knows who you are! I understand you're hurt, but you don't have to be cruel. Carlos was right about you. Who is carlos?! Hey, where the hell is my...? Oh...! Okay... An introduction to contract tort And restitution statutes from 1865-1923 Is not a coaster! Ted, I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw not one, Not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met Who's probably not even going to show up! I mean, where is she, ted, huh? Where's robin? Hi. Hi, robin. Wow. So, you threw all these parties for me? No. Oh, you thought that... No! I... Okay, yes. You got me. One of the reasons I threw these parties Was so that I could introduce you To, um, this guy. Uh, I figured, you know, Since it didn't work out between us And now we can just laugh about it... ( laughs weakly) Anyway, robin, this is... Carlos. Oh! Oh! She's still talking to carlos. I can still win this. I-it's not over. Okay, buddy. Time for the tough talk. Robin seems great, but let's look at the facts. You want to get married. And right now, There's a million women in new york Looking for exactly you. But robin ain't one of them. She's not just one of them. She's the one. Yeah, well, the one is heading up to the roof. What are you going to do? Nothing. It's a game. I got to just keep playing it. ( Rock music playing ) Ted... Hey, carlos, can you give us a minute? Hey, no sweat, hombre. See ya. Robin...

Will I ever be freed of this damnable place?

Look, I didn't throw this party To set you up with carlos, Or the one before that, or the one before that. I threw these parties because I wanted to see you. Well, here I am. There's something here, look, unless I'm crazy. You're not crazy. I don't know, ted. I mean, we barely know each other And you're looking at me with that look. And, it's like... Like, "let's fall in love and get married And have kids and drive them to soccer practice." I'm not going to force sports on them Unless they're interested. ( Iaughing ) It's a great look. But you're looking at the wrong girl. No, I'm not. I don't want to get married right now, maybe ever. I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you Or break your heart, and... I just couldn't do either of those things. Just like you can't turn off the way you feel. Click. Off. Let's make out. What? What? That was the off switch. And I turned it off. I mean, look, sure, yes, I want to fall in love, get married, blah, blah, blah. But, on the other hand... You, me, the roof. There's no off switch. There is an off switch. And it's off. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes... It is. No, it's not. You're right. There's no off switch. God, I wish there was an off switch! Me, too. ( Both laughing ) ( both muttering nervously ) What do we do now? We could be friends. Oh... I know it sounds insincere when people say that, But... We could. I don't know, robin. I've made such a jackass of myself here. We start hanging out, every time I see you It'll be like, "oh, that's right. I'm a jackass." You're not a jackass. Look, I'm sorry. I only moved here in April and I'm always working And I just haven't met a lot of good people so far. But I understand. Well, uh, maybe in a few months, After it's not so fresh, We could all, uh, you know, get a beer. Yeah. That sounds good. I'll see you, ted. Or, you know, now. We could all get a beer now. I'd like that. My friends are going to love you... Like you, you know, as a friend. Jackass. Unbelievable. That's just a recipe For disaster. They work together! Are you jealous? Oh, please. What does carlos have that I don't? A date tonight. All: Oh! Stop the tape. Rewind. ( Imitates tape rewinding ) a date tonight. All: Oh! I'm not sure I like her. Hey, don't you have a paper to write? Dude, you're talking to the kid. I'm going to knock back this beer. I'm going to knock back one more beer. I'm going to write a 25-page paper. I'm going to hand it in and I'm going to get an "a." My name is rufus and that's the trufus. ( Iaughter ) Ted: He got a b-minus. But still, 25 pages in one night, b-minus? The kid was good. At least let me buy you a beer. Come on, I'll buy everyone a beer. I'll help carry. You know something, ted? What? You are a catch. You're going to make some girl very happy. And I am going to help you find her. Well, good luck. I mean, maybe new york's just too big a town. I mean, there's millions of people in this city. How, in all this mess, Is a guy supposed to find the love of his life? I mean, where do you even begin? Hi. Have you met ted? ( Music rises over dialogue )

I do not know if I can, but I must.

[STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB]

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUU-

[annaphoenix1994]

Colter - Enter, Pursued by a Memory (2)

"Goddamn, this cold!" Arthur groaned as he entered the morning freeze, using the sole of his boot to light the match for his cigarette, taking a long and slow puff of the tobacco as if his life depended on it. He forced himself to walk through the snow, mentally preparing himself to feel the cold wind cling to his skin through his clothing.

He rushed into the main cabin, seeing Missus Adler struggling to stay warm while she kept her distance from everybody else while Abigail Roberts, Tilly Jackson, and Mary-Beth Gaskill were surrounding the hearth for warmth. "Hello, Arthur," Abigail started as Arthur chucked a fresh log into the small fire.

"Abigail." He replied gruffly, holding his palms to the fire.

"Arthur...how you doing?" She said nervously as she approached him. He looked at her nervously, taking her in. He had always scolded himself for not marrying her when he had the chance, but he knew that wasn't how things were supposed to be. He cared deeply for her and young Jack, but in a way, he still loved her from when she had been friendly with not only him, but almost every man in the gang at one point.

He gulped as he held those memories at bay, where they needed to be, "Just fine, Abigail, and you?"

"I need you to...I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry to ask but..." She stuttered.

"It's little John...He's got himself into a scrape again." Arthur replied with annoyance and a bit of jealousy coating his voice. He brushed her off as he continued to find warmth from the fire.

"He ain't been seen in two...two days!" Abigail protested.

"Your John'll be fine," Arthur said, opening his arms at her. He hated arguing with her, but she needed to hear it. "I mean, he may be as dumb as rocks and as dull as rusted iron but that ain't changin' because he got caught in some snowstorm!" He argued.

"At least go take a look," Hosea intervened as he closed the book he was reading to young Jack. "Javier?"

"Yes?" Javier Escuella replied, looking up from cleaning his gun.

"Javier, will you ride out with Arthur and take a look for John?" Hosea asked. "You're the two best-fit men we've got."

"Now?" Javier questioned, exhaling a puff of smoke from his cigarette.

"She's...we're all...we're pretty worried about him." Hosea continued, taking note at the look of jealousy on Arthur's face as well as a bit of concern eating at him.

Hosea had played a major role in Arthur's life in the earlier years, seeing Arthur as a son to him. He could tell when things were bothering him or when he was keeping something to himself. Hosea knew Arthur and Abigail had a brief romantic history and that Arthur at some point thought that young Jack was his son, but he couldn't stop Abigail from falling in love with John Marston, who was his fellow brother, but also his competition.

"I know if the situation were reversed, he'd look for me." Javier said as he handed Arthur his sewed-off shotgun. Arthur nodded as he took the gun before turning on his heels, pushing out Abigail's 'thank you's out of his head as he walked through the doorway.

"This way! Last I know, John was headed up the river!" Javier said over the wind as he took the lead.

"For all we know, he kept ridin' north and never looked back," Arthur grunted, bowing his head so that the brim of his hat would shield his face from the wind.

"He wouldn't leave. Not like that." Javier doubted.

"Well, wouldn't be the first time," Arthur replied, clutching the reins tighter, wishing he had on two pairs of gloves instead of one. He and Javier trekked north, both of them encouraging their horses to continue on their journey. Arthur may not have had a bond as strong with this horse like he did with Boadicea, his fallen horse after the failed ferry robbery in Blackwater, but the mahogany bay stallion was pushing through. "Good boy!" Arthur encouraged as he gave the stallion an encouraging pat to the neck. "So... You were there, Javier, what really happened on that boat?" He asked.

"We had the money, it seemed fine, then suddenly they were everywhere," Javier explained.

"Bounty hunters?" Arthur guessed.

"No, Pinkertons. It was crazy. Raining bullets," Javier continued as the horses were now on steeper terrain. "Watch out for this crevice!" He warned. "Dutch killed a girl in a... bad way, but it was a bad situation."

"That ain't like him, though." Arthur replied.

"They continue along the cliff wall here!" Javier said, referring to the horse tracks he and Arthur found shortly after they left camp. "Davey got shot. Mac and John... Both shot too. Sean, we don't even know. I'm surprised we escaped at all. By the time you boys showed up from the other side of town, we were only just holding on." Javier continued.

Arthur sighed, "Bad business alright."

They were now trotting through fresh snow, which was too much for Arthur's liking, so he decided to slow his horse down to a walk as he knew the fresh and deep snow had to be hard on his horse. "You're alright boy," He encouraged. "The horses are struggling."

"Yeah, a lot of fresh snow here."

"I don't know about this, Javier. W-we can't follow nothing." Arthur doubted.

"Let's push on a little bit, maybe we'll pick up the trail again," Javier encouraged as their horses continued to push on up the steep embankment.

"Almost there, boy, c'mon now!"

"Hey, look! Over there, you see that?" Javier pointed as the men stopped their horses before nudging them to a lope. Upon closer inspection, it was a deceased horse. "John was riding that horse when we left Blackwater." Javier sighed.

"Oh... That's..." Arthur grunted. He didn't mind killing an animal when it came to hunting but seeing a dead horse hurt him on the inside. Aside from a buck, horses were his favorite animal as they represented so much freedom, beauty, and spirit. Something Arthur wrote fondly about in his journal was Boadicea. He sighed as he looked away from the deceased animal before turning his attention back to Javier.

"Let's see if he can hear us!" Javier said before firing his revolver, the gunpowder echoing through the icy canyon and empty mountains.

"Hey! Help! Here!"

"Come on... Up there!" Javier suggested as he pushed Boaz into a steady lope up the embankment.

"Hello? Over here!"

"It's coming from up ahead somewhere. I don't think we can go much further on the horses. We'll have to walk from here." Javier said as he dismounted Boaz. "I'd grab that shotgun from your horse. Who knows what's up ahead."

───※ ·❆· ※───

"That's quite a scratch you got there." Arthur said as he and Javier were now looking at John Marston from over the cliff he had sought shelter.

John looked up at the pair with his new three lacerations, "Never thought I'd say this, but it's good to see you, Arthur Morgan."

Arthur sighed as he eased himself down to where John was, looking him over briefly, "You don't look so good." He said as he slung John's arm over his shoulders.

"I don't feel too good neither," John groaned as Arthur easily lifted the man up, helping him get atop the cliff so Javier could help. "I'm freezing!"

"Don't die just yet, cowboy." Arthur said as he hoisted himself back up before slinging John over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, slowly walking behind Javier as he figured out a way to get back to the horses without having to go through the rough terrain they had encountered on foot.

"You see that on the ridge?" Javier said as distant howls echoed from afar. Arthur felt John shift his weight as he was still slung over Arthur's shoulder, looking up at what damage the animals had caused.

"Shit," Arthur mumbled as he helped John to his feet. "I'll distract them while you get to the horses. Go, I'll draw 'em off you." He insisted.

"Let's get back to the others!" Javier exclaimed after Arthur had successfully terminated the three wolves after a brief scrapple. Arthur clutched his wrist to rid the pain as he had gotten bitten, but it luckily didn't pierce through his skin, only his coat.

"I don't feel too good," John complained.

"You'll be fine. It's just like a...a dog bite."

John sighed, "I knew a feller, got bit by a dog. Died an hour later."

"You ain't gonna die! Not yet-" Javier assured. "More of 'em to the right!" He shouted.

Arthur quickly pulled out the sewed-off shotgun Javier had given him, hoping that his new horse wouldn't spook too bad from the shots and the wolves coming at his fetlocks. "Easy boy!" Arthur said as he shot two wolves quickly, regaining control as his horse's natural instincts took over.

"You see any more, Arthur?" Javier called.

"Don't think so." He grunted.

"Jesus!" John whined.

"You still with us, Marston?" Arthur teased.

"Just about." He groaned.

"You're gonna be okay. We have some shelter now." Javier assured.

"Thanks for coming for me."

"Of course. That bullet in Blackwater, now this? You had a hell of a time."

"And Arthur always says... I'm lucky." John croaked.

"You know, we're gonna need to come up with a better story for that scar!" Arthur teased as the horses trudged through the current of the river in an attempt to cover up their scent.

"So, freezing, bleeding, starving, damn near getting eaten to death, ain't good enough for you?" John questioned.

"Yeah...c'mon. Let's push hard and get back."

"See those buildings up ahead John? That's where we're camped. Nearly there." Javier assured as the camp was inching closer.

"Come on! Someone help John down off this horse!" Javier exclaimed.

"Can we get some help here?" Arthur intervened as he pulled his horse to a halt, dismounting as he heard the main cabin's door squeak as Abigail came running out. "You're alive! Oh, you're alive!" Abigail cried as she gripped onto John's jacket.

"Ay, careful idiotas, it's his leg!" Javier warned as he was still atop Boaz.

"Come on, let's get you warm!" Abigail said as Bill was acting as a crutch for John, leading him to the cabin. "Thank you! Thank you both!"

Arthur and Javier nodded as they were soon joined by Hosea and Leopold Strauss. "Thank you, Arthur. Thank you." Hosea said, patting his shoulder.

"You got any other lost maidens need savin'?" Arthur groaned.

"Yeah, that Minnie Barlow," Hosea teased, referring to the brief conversation he and Dutch had about the woman after they brought Sadie Adler to camp, Dutch explaining to Hosea that Arthur had kept asking questions about the fellow outlaw relentlessly, making it clear to Dutch and Hosea that he may be under the impression of a crush, which Hosea loved to play "matchmaker."

"I don't know what you're talkin' about," Arthur scoffed. Hosea chuckled as Javier and Leopold Strauss retreated slightly, "Dutch told me about your crush."

"Whatchu talkin' about? I don't have no crush!" Arthur blushed.

"You're forgetting that we know you better than you do, Arthur. Since when have you been so curious about an outlaw when you're an outlaw yourself?" Hosea questioned. Arthur shook his head as he wanted to get the topic of love interests from his head. 'Yeah, like a woman like that would have me anyways.' He scolded to himself.

"Have you and Dutch talked about how we're gonna get out of this?" Arthur asked, changing the subject.

"I was just discussing with Herr Strauss when the weather breaks I suppose we'll have to keep heading east."

"East? Into all of that civilization?" Arthur objected.

"I know," Hosea replied. "The west is where our problems are worse. C'mon, Herr Strauss, let's get warm."

Arthur nodded as he thrust through the snow, rubbing his palms up and down his upper arms in an attempt to generate heat, but he felt as if he was getting nowhere. He quickly shut the door to the cabin, retreating to his room for a brief bit of isolation, something that he needed. He had a sudden urge to write as if nothing that was going on even mattered. He sat on the edge of his cot, pulling the nightstand closer to him to make a table:

𝓦𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓻𝓾𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓴𝓼. 𝓦𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓪𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝔀. 𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Apr 10, 2020 at 2:35pm PDT

You have to watch the video in the end.

Look everyone's story is different. And I understand his.

But I want to explain something. Carpenters and Construction workers rule the world.

They're as important as a McDonald's Happy Meal.

I want to explain something else. Sometimes people don't dream of going to Harvard, they're forced to. Sometimes people at Harvard -- I got into Harvard and I got into Yale Law. I chose not to go to either. -- sometimes people at Harvard just want to work with their hands.

I got Into Harvard. And I got into Yale Law.

I went to the University of New Mexico after a dabble at Oklahoma State, TVI - now CNM.

After a long time.. High school, being accepted into Ivey League schools, marriage, divorce, a 7 year old, 6 colleges/universities, trying to decide on something other than a Speech Pathologist because i believe you can learn a child's dialect and they don't speak wrong but different -- I gave myself a stern taking to.

I wanted to be an Architect.

To be an Architect my most important people are Carpenters, Construction workers, electricians, plumbers. And more.

I would need carpenters for sure because I love Gothic, Roman, Greek, Colonial style homes/buildings.

Well I never made it as an Architect my local universities didn't offer it at a bachelor's level and I failed out via running out of money for Speech Pathology.

And it was fucking hard.

But I want to tell you something. Look at his post here you'll see him on scaffolding. In NYC there's scaffolding every where. One of my favorite things on a hot day was sit under there and listen to them work.

We did so much underground work, freeing slaves.

One day I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I sat under scaffolding and I leaned my back against the wall and I pulled my knees up to my face and began to very loudly cry. It was one of the loudest places in the city. I thought no one could hear me.

Then I felt someone touch me. And ask if I was Ok. I wondered how long I had been crying because it was silent and I thought all the workers went home.

So I wiped my face in my shirt and I nodded "mmm I'm ok. Sorry. It was just so loud I thought no one could hear"

"Well we all did"

And I looked up and half the construction crew was standing looking worried.

And it made me bust into tears again. And they asked if i had been beaten or raped or needed the police or any random thing.

And i said "no. I'm just a recent widow and my child died right after child birth and i return kidnapped victims and my job is just hard let me put it that way"

So he gave me a bottle of water and asked if i needed money and told me safe places to go where nice people worked that were nice to the homeless.

So one day the noise of the hammers... The rhythm... I just decided. Not going to work was better for me. I was just gonna do something nice for nice people ... May be for a day or two..

So i would go to Macy's and buy shirts and boots and extra personal supplies for the construction workers, the people they told me about that were kind to the homeless and giving.

After a week the CIA asked what i was doing and when i would return to work. I said they could do it and i didn't want to.

They told me i wasn't acting healthy. I needed yo be underground feeling desperate and worried that i couldn't get people home to their families when my family was killed in front of me.

I couldn't. "Well quit buying stuff"

"Fine I'll buy less"

"Quit going to Macy's. What's wrong with the Bodega?"

"Oh sure where i shopped with my dead husband? No people need quality and quality is what they deserve! They work and they can afford their own clothes but they don't because it's too expensive for rent!! They can't afford clothes that don't rip or get holes in them every two weeks!!" I was yelling but i was mad. I wasn't letting people suffer and i wasn't letting myself suffer. No one had the right to tell me i was wrong. "Lower their rent so they have more than a few hundred bucks!! Look at them# bologna sandwiches that was all! They had no money to even eat! What am i doing wrong?! Good quality! Leave me be!!"

We always had long talks about quality. Because sometimes we found good at Bargain Basement and sometimes we didn't. So i knew Blue would approve.

"Yeah well you'll get fired"

"You wanna fire me?! Go ahead! And then when i want to go back to work you're not going to stop me! You'll thank me! So shove it!"

"You're causing a scene"

"No you are!!"

"You sit here for hours under the scaffolding that could fall on you and kill yoh while playing solitare in cards by yourself! You're not even Tarot. You could be making money on the street helping us but you aren't"

"That lady is a bitch. That lady ain't. That lady is sweet as the devil and that man is married to a cunt!!!! There are you happy now? Leave me be?" I was already exhausted and all the construction workers were down waiting for an explanation and to protect me.

They weren't very happy to find out I worked for the CIA. I guess they felt betrayed. I said "i help victims that get trapped under ground"

And so they thought like They fell into a pit of mud or something and needed help. Which is understandable.

I couldn't explain how i could feel abandoning those girls was my right. How i needed to. How helping them was destroying me. It was not explainable.

I didn't want to be encouraged to go back. I didn't want to be told i was wrong because it hurt my heart. I So damaged.

And I didn't want to volcano in anger. Not at anyone that didn't deserve it.

So I explained then... "*if someone is kidnapped and stuck or put under ground for human trafficking then they can't get out -- not on their own. They need me or the CIA and the CIA can cover for me while I am recovering to a better emotional state"

And one said "but you'll be fired"

"Well i run the CIA so i doubt that and i do check in with them every day down the street at least twice. That is why i was later today there was an issue with ome of the clubs and i had to sort it out. I just can't see the girls and work Like i used to. Promise to take them home. Make sure they see their families when my own was murdered in front of my face. Its just not something i can do"

They asked me for $500 and went to Macy's and in my place where i always sat and did solitare was a white paper Macy's bag. And it said "for the CIA GIRL named Sabrina"

And inside was a leopard fur coat. Of which they had got $250 from the CIA guy attempting to chew out my ass. And luckily it had been marked down. $657.32.

"Don't worry it was half off. And we split the leftover remaining for food. I hope you don't mind" i heard behind me.

I was crying so much I had snot bubbles.

So carpenters... They're like Gods. I've always looked up yo construction workers since that day.

Janitors at the elementary schools i attended they were always my heroes. If i didn't clean. I got beat. I tried to clean the whole cafeteria. Until I was told not to. I didn't have to. And ever since then it's been hard to just let them do their jobs and not help them.

They have been my heroes for s very long time. And not because I'm a germaphobe. Because they took pride in their work

Because like this man in this post always felt inferior. Bullied and picked on even.

Sometimes i would watch a janitor pick up trash next to the can a kid wouldn't pick up because he missed. And I would start crying and mess my make up up. And every one would ask me what was wrong. And i would bust into tears again "because the janitor had to clean!!".

I'm not talking just elementary school. I'm talking Jr high. I'm talking high school. Im talking i would skip school and smoke pot, smoke behind the principal's office or art building kinda old. And i would bust into tears because a janitors bad luck.

Ridiculous old. I would beat up bigger than me boys in school. Even beat the principal once for whipping my little brother. They still did paddling if there was a permission slip. My brothers wasn't signed. Mine and Nathaniel's had been and both said no paddling. So they called it even and let it go.

But i still cried cause the janitor who took pride in his work was bossed around like a bitch by the principal and the principal happened to be white and the janitor black.

So i stopped that shit by shoving the principal in his office and standing in front of it until he promised not to talk to the janitor. Every time he did with disrespect there i went. He took off running down the hall. Scared. Oh that pissed me off. Coward ass.

I used to work st Mazzios in Okmulgee. They used to go in after 8pm on Friday. I always waited on him and his wife cause Jamie always wanted a break to do dishes then. And we needed to. It was a mess by then. Dishes would be sliding off the counter And shit.

He never tipped. I asked his wife once why. She said "ask him" while laughing.

"Well? She's directed me to ask you. Seems your wife is in command here"

"Well I would tip if I had a waitress that didn't give me a black eye!"

"Well served, keep your dollar"

"Well next time I'm gonna pay $3!!"

So I told Jamie, "I don't mind doing dishes and it will save your nails I don't do mine. This guy here is the Principal at Preston and said he will pay to tip any waitress but me 3 whole dollars"

"Do the dishes"

She went over "I'm sorry was there a problem with your server?"

"She gave me a black eye!!!" What a dunce.

"Well I'll make sure she works extra hard on the dishes while I'll be the waitress to only you unless someone comes in since she's dangerous and can't come from behind the counter"

He looked over the back of his red booth and grinned. I grinned back.

Then he looked troubled "don't forget the tip" I sang back in a nasty I'll punch you in the face again tone. And kicked and threw all the chairs into the tables if they weren't pushed in on my walk back.

She got $5.

Oh it was definitely a joke around the restaurant. Friday nights after 8 weren't boring anymore.

His wife loved it. She was so tired of his shit. She knew we worked every Friday night and he was so dumb we could work him over on anything m

... ...

So in NYC. Scaffolding takes over the city sidewalks. Sometimes we have to walk in the street to pass. Or cross the street then cross back.because concrete barriers.

So in NYC the scaffolding is the rulers of the sidewalk. Put there by workers like the man who feels inferior to Harvard students.

They are in command.

.....

I loved sitting under the scaffolding and hearing the hammers. The men above. Working for money. The men above free. Free in the sky. Free from the streets. As far as they could safely be from the underground.

They were like the bird Phoneix to me.

I couldn't see them but i could hear them. Banging and whistling to a song on the radio or in their head.

Up there they were free. Free to build and create. What they were doing would last for years. Decades.

What they were doing would be seen by all of New York City. Its visitors. Its home personnel. Its bodegas. The kidnapped. Every one.

The CIA was afraid i would be lonlier when they moved on. But i knew they were working. I could hear it. And one day the scaffolding I found safe Haven under would be missing.

And i would see the Grand Prize. Their work completed.

I could never finish a bunker they would always refill. I needed a Happy Ending. I needed Green Grass Roots on the side of the building the whole street they touched the lives of could see.

When they finished i took the girls. "You see that up there? The blue and green? That wasn't there before. My friends did that. I want you to know every thing you touch and every thing you see leaves a definition. Some may be wrong and some may be right. But my friends did that and saved me from my misery. And right now want to hug that building"

And we did.

So to this man in this post and all people that work and feel inferior...

Specifically to this man -- each and every student st Harvard looked at you the same way you looked st them "i can be something one day. I can be someone as important as him. I can help build a wall to stay up for years to come so students like me can keep coming to Harvard. If he can do it. And work in Harvard. I can at least graduate"

So never belittle yourself. You are important. You are worth more than money. You change the world every day.

You remember that. People we don't always say it.

But we think it. We find inspiration every where.

A girl screaming in the driveway. A dude feeling lost because all the world was shut down in a joke like but meaningful song video. My worries about people working too hard and not being home or happy.

Regular people others would think as trash. Or overlook as a fun silly video of the times.

P Diddy tripping as well as many others.

You all changed the world.

And you did it better than the President of the United States of America.

We The People.

Need our "lower class" financed people and our "lower classed: educated.

My cousin only finished 5th grade. You never could tell by looking at her. I never remember. I never think about it. Until she mentions it. And it SHOCKS me. It shocks the shit out of me. Because I didn't think about it and i couldn't tell. I look up to her and admire her.

So while I am PROUD this man made his dreams come true in secret -- why? -- because they were his dreams and his dreams alone and he didn't want no one meddling in his dreams -- I want to tell all of you.

You are not inferior because of your race or employment. Your pay grade or gender.

Here if you can pass a test or quiz or do a quick something every one gets $5.

Because you're all equal.

Love yourselves

And this man in the post is amazing i want to say again. Idk how old he is. He looks young. But he applied himself and focused and he tried. And he succeeded.

We're gonna be ok world. Its just gonna take some time