#oh i KNOW you said not to respond but i'd feel weird deleting this or just posting it without commentary

[todayisafridaynight]

(don't have to respond i just wanted to ramble somewhere) AUGHHHHHHHHHH YAKUZA FIVE. that game...that game is so good....the twists...the mystery...the taxi driving..*head in hands* the emotions torn from me...baba...rooftop daigo multiple times...what a banger game it so lovely its so incredible its sooooo long too so much content i've consumed in the past week ahh so lovely..i wish i could wipe my mind and play it for the first time again oh my word the fights were enjoyable (minus kanai i dont liek him.) WATASE. wow <3 i love this game i need to absorb this game i need to become this game there will never be another like this game i think it should be framed in a hall of fame for best game ever created *sniffle sob* y5...my darling darling rpg... it's tied itself as favourite game with y3 wow i need to play both of them at the same time for 100+ hours a day i will create more hours in a day to play for 100+ hours a day

ngl when i first got through Y5, it was. An Experience

BUT IN REVIEW it really is such a lovely game- kiryu's taxi segment is definitely one of the higher points for me lest i forget shinada's entire existence :)

[l-tora-l-archived]

HELLO CUTIE WHATS UR MAIN BLOG, SHARE PLS XOXO

HIIII sorry for taking like ten centuries to respond to this but like tbh ;; Im quitting tumblr I think. (ALSO UNI PLS IGNORE THIS LOL ITS MAINLY FOR EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE I ALR TOLD YOU ID POST THIS HAHA😭🙏)

Mega explanation under the cut talking abt some of the trashy behaviour I've had to experience on this forsaken app over the years, but mostly how I feel about it so yeah if you don't care that's alr hope everyone has a good life, cause as I said I quit.

I deleted the new blog I ended up making bc this environment has never really been welcoming to me and I can 100% say that tumblr has actively made my experiences with practically everything irl AND online worse than any fruitful goodness it has or could ever bring. From putting my everything into relationships including comfort, support and psychological + therapeutic sessions for people even over ten yrs older than me (at times older) without even getting a single kind thought back, to the genuine rudeness of some people, to the (excuse my language) but half assed and crude responses I receive ... honestly the list is endless.

One thing I'm trying to get better at is to notice when my presence is clearly not wanted and act accordingly. It's just saddening that the one place where it's encouraged to be your true "nerdy" self, as the catchphrase of this site is, I am not allowed to be just that. I really do wonder what part of me is so incredibly intolerable or forgettable, that I am expected to practically grovel for even ten minutes of people's time - and that's with the closest people I know, forget abt ten minutes for regular conversation I can't even get ten minutes from the people I stood with through thick and thin with, even though I myself struggle really hard to be there and yet always am.

From now on I'll just say that no I will definitely not come back, I will also not use this account and if I ever DO come back it would probably just be a call out thread on SOME people who deserve jail time more than silly time on tumblr dot come /hj (but not rlly hj hahejdsj this is so srs and continues to impact my life after almost 2 years ... but ugh what.ever.😀👍). But I'm also a coward ngl so like that would never happen !

I would say "oh btw I have this account you can keep in touch on ! :>" but truthfully, I am so let down by how uninteractive, uncaring and exclusionary everyone is no matter how hard I try to do the best I can to treat others how I'd love to be treated, and how I basically am sweating to keep convos going, bc in truth I don't think anyone rlly likes me enough here or anywhere really to even want to talk to me in general, so I'll spare you all that. The proof is literally in the fact that I've amassed a sizeable following which I am shocked with, yet despite it all I feel so lonely bc nobody even bothers with me at all whilst ppl who just start out get 50 best friends in such a short time frame. I see I am not everyone's cup of tea.

I once thought maybe just maybe I could have a good time online just how everyone suggests that online is better than irl and it is a reprieve for some. Looks like I am eternally unlucky bc how is online on par or perhaps even worse than irl for me ? And make no mistake irl is atrocious to me too.

I do not mean this to be passive aggressive but I just want to communicate my thoughts. If I was being passive aggressive that'd imply that I knew that everyone here was capable of treating me as I wanted, as I have consistently treated my "friends" on here, as a reciprocated effort. But as this thread suggests, that was and can never be a reality for me.

TLDR // not coming back bc :

People genuinely don't care or don't put in any effort at all

Bullies (mean ppl way at the beginning of my account) + I am let down how everyone let TWO whole adults get away with being weird to a then minor (me) right in front of your faces

Very traumatised and uncomfortable being on this app to the point I can barely even socialise at all from the precipitating impacts.

Hope everyone has a good life.

[nubinublado]

So weird vent but the whole drama with James Somerton is making me think about this more and more and I just gotta write it out at this point.

So, he deletes comments, i know this because he deleted one of mine. It was on the shipping video responding to the end or it when he started taking about RPF. I believe he made a point about how companies often have their idols queerbait cause #straight women are more comfy with male idols having sex with other men because it "doesn't count" so the idol maintains virginity (NOTE this is me paraphrasing by memory i was literally going rewatch or read the transcript but it is completely gone now holy shit).

But ya, because i'm a huge bts fan i wanted to give my thoughts on what he said about kpop and those problematic games on variety shows would make idols play that were designed to make them accidentally kiss. My comment was basically (again paraphrased from memory)

"Ya it's sucks that idols have to do queerbait-ey things," note the I meant talking about the aforementioned games not anything that would come down to cultural differences like the standard of how affectionate men can be with each other, "especially considering there have to be closeted idols who are queer (but we shouldn't be speculating ppl's sexualites) who are scared to come out because it would jeopardize their careers (not to mention they live in a very conservative country) but then all of a sudden they have to almost kiss their friends/groupmates"

In my comment I wanted to emphasize a fuck the industry cause in general I don't like the whole accusing real ppl of queerbaiting cause even in seemingly cut and dry scenarios like what I've described that person could still be queer and in an even shittier position than their straight counterparts who have to do that crap.

But I digress. Cause I swear the comment wasn't inflammatory at all I didn't name any idols or groups. Just a typical opinion that was left open to discussion. And it confused me on why he deleted it. Now I never tried to get an answer b/c I am of the belief that getting blocked or having a comment deleted is a hint and you should take it. But I'd be lying if i said that whenever that James comes up I don't think "what about that comment bothered him so much?"

Maybe I made a massive typo and accidentally said that we should speculate idols sexualities and I accidently called for a campaign of outing celebrities in a youtube comment section

Maybe I was too unnuanced with the whole no speculation point. Like, if an artist puts queer imagery in their work in a "if you get it you get it" kind of way towards queer fans. Is it problematic if queer fans pick up on the clues, does coming out only count if straight ppl can understand it etc etc. But still I feel like he could have just replied instead of deleting the whole thing. Again wasn't an aggressive comment very much open to discussion.

But he just deleted it. I wasn't mad just confused, still confused. Now that he's been figuratively exposed at every single angle I'm even more confused.

Like ya, it is tempting to say "oh I just wasn't misogynistic enough how dare I suggest that the industry is the real big bad" or "he thinks assuming sexuality is ok because then he can't brush off criticism by just assuming it's coming from a (straight) woman"

But, I dunno I have more integrity than that. Maybe it is a bad take. Still open to discussion it over 3 years later lol.

I've gone back and fourth between whether I should post this or not. But seeing that he's now deleted the video despite neither Hbomber or Todd in the shadow mentioning it their videos has sort of pushed me to archive its existence in some way even if it's just for a petty reason lolol.

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | Drabble 5

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Another little drabble! It's hard to give this couple up 🥺 this is also a scene that was basically deleted from the main series, so it's been given a time jump! I didn't want people to think it was a cliche moment (it kinda is) but...I think this gives some good clarity on how the MC has grown! Unedited as on mobile.

-

"Do you think your mom will like this?" You query, brows farrowing together as you turn the elegantly decorated plant pot around in your hands. It would match her current living room decor and she loved gardening.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah...why?" Hoseok asks with a distracted tone, his attention grabbed with the collection of fake plants. The two of you had come to a home decoration store as you wanted to redecorate your bedroom. He wasn't hugely interested in how it was done and you were pretty sure that he was here just to spend time with you.

Which was sweet and you loved that he was content to just be with you, but he wasn't being very helpful right now.

"...her birthday? It's next week, we're taking her out for dinner, remember?" He pauses for a moment before his lips turn into a circle.

"Oh yeah, shit. I need to book the table for that." Before you can say anything else, he's pulling out his phone and tapping away on it.

Sighing, you place the pot into the cart and begin to look with an eye for your bedroom. You wanted to inject more plants into the house but Kasumi just tried to eat real ones, so you were stuck with fake plants.

"How about C'est Bonne? Wait no, she doesn't like French food. Hmmm, Italian feels boring though. Do you think she'd like Thai, I think that'd be alright." Hoseok is muttering to himself as he scrolls and you smile affectionately.

To say he'd completely forgotten, you weren't surprised that he was throwing himself into it now.

"Hoseok?" For a moment, neither of you respond. You, because it wasn't your name and so you weren't conditioned to respond to it, and Hoseok because it wasn't your voice.

His head jerked up in confusion, gaze going to you first before looking around. The voice calls again from your left and you turn to see who it is, wondering who was calling out your husband's name.

What you didn't expect is for Hoseok's face to open in surprise, shocked recognition taking over his expression. Like, real shock and you're even more confused and intrigued.

"Yoona?" He asks, his tone slightly unsure and you realise it's obviously someone he once knew. You've heard him mention the name at some point, but you can't remember why you know it.

"It is you! Oh my god, it's so good to see you. How long has it been?" The woman in question, Yoona, smiles brightly and you observe that she's pretty. Very pretty with the kind of hair you see in commercials.

She's wearing plain black jeans that conform to her legs alongside a subtly flowered shirt. Her black pea coat tops it off with a matching deep purple scarf and beanie to cope with the colder weather.

"Err...a while." Hoseok laughs, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck and you recognise the awkward movement. He's a little uncomfortable and your stomach turns as you wonder if this is one of his hook ups.

Surprisingly, you'd never met one of them given how prolific he'd been. Though you did wonder how many of them had also been drunk and probably didn't remember him at all.

Still, you feel the urge to comfort him and move closer, resting your hand on his back in assurance. He straightens a little at the touch before relaxing into you, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulder and hugging you into him a little more strongly than you'd anticipated.

"Oh, Meeps this is Yoona, the girl in college who got me to sort my shit out?" Hoseok's brows rise as his voice turns dry before he looks back at Yoona. "This is Y/N, my wife."

Her eyes flick over to you and surprisingly enough, she doesn't give you a once over. You almost expected her to view you as some kind of threat or rival, but the reassuring smile she gives makes you realise how silly that would be.

"Really? Oh my god, Hoseok! I'm so happy for you, and for you, Y/N! I always knew he had the makings of a good partner, even if he couldn't see it. I'm glad you finally took my advice." Yoona says before reaching out to shake your hand politely.

Surprisingly, it's not nearly as awkward as you'd think to meet one of your husband's ex-flings. Especially one who'd had such an influence on his life.

"Erm, thank you. Hoseok's talk about you sometimes, thank you for helping him back then." You say shyly, feeling your stomach twist uncertainly as you take your hand back and play with your fingers.

Just like he always has, Hoseok instinctively knows when you're not comfortable and he reaches for one of your hands. 

"I've told her lots of things over the years," He grins before kissing your forehead. "My therapy was very good, I promise."

That's directed to Yoona who laughs sweetly and nods in appreciation.

"Good, good, I'm glad. Anyway, I've got to be going but...it was nice to see you! And I'm really happy that you've found someone. I'd love to get to know you better but I'm sure you're amazing. Gotta be to have captured this guy's attention." She smiles and gestures towards you, causing you to feel hot with embarrassment.

"Erm, thank you." You mutter, unsure of how to react. But you're surprisingly okay with her and don't feel any form of threat, even with her important history with Hoseok. It was clear there were no feelings between either of them and you genuinely felt that she was a good person.

Before either of you could say anything else, she said her goodbyes and headed towards the cashiers at the front of the store. There was a brief moment of silence as you both tried to compute what had happened and Hoseok recovered quicker than you did.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, his words laced with concern that matched the worry in his eyes. You knew why he was feeling like that - Yoona was beautiful, once upon a time he'd slept with her and she'd helped him realise how to move forward. Or at least take the steps there.

If this had happened in the first year of your relationship then you probably would feel disconcerted, unsure what to think about this blast from his past. But you weren't that girl anymore, and whilst you still had your anxieties, you had full and complete faith in Hoseok.

Plus, he'd been as blindsided by her as you were. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was nice to finally meet the famous Yoona, she seemed nice." You comment, slipping your arm through his and leaning against him as you both walked towards the bedroom section. Bring so close to him meant that you could practically feel him relax at your words.

"Good, good. I didn't...well I didn't know what to think, really. I was worried you'd be upset or something." Hoseok admits, trailing his hand down your coat sleeve until he can grasp your fingers between his own.

"No, I know all about your history and it was only a matter of time before we met someone. And like I said, she was sweet." There's still some uneasiness in his demeanour though and you squeeze his hand before gently poking the back of it with a finger.

The movement makes him smile and you feel relief at him looking a little happier.

"Seriously, I'm okay. Are you okay?" It was probably a big thing to accidentally meet up with such an important fling, but but could understand why he wasn't comfortable with it all.

That was a part of his past that he wasn't entirely happy with colliding with his very happy present. So you just held on to him as he worked through his feelings.

"Yeah...yeah I am. It was just weird to see her, you know? Never expected that." He let's his free hand trail over a soft, velvet cushion idly and you hum in contemplation.

"I get it. But don't fret over it, okay? I'm fine with it all and...well, it was nice to meet the woman who helped to bring the Hoseok I know to life. Or at least, started the process. Without her, we wouldn't be here."

Hoseok is silent as he considers that, his lips twisting before he licks at his lip ring and nods.

"Yeah, you're right. She's the one part of my past that I'm okay with you seeing in person. I should've thanked her…" Muttering, he sighs before shrugging with a lopsided smile.

"Oh well, let's carry on shopping. Your decorations await! And I need to finish booking that table...I'm actually thinking of maybe trying that Lebanese place…"

[queerautism]

(before reading i would like to say i accidentally talked too much and it accidentally became possibly a vent??? no matter what u get a cookie for 0 reason but bc i said so. if u want to u can just delete the ask and not even look at it or whatever. i would prefer if you didnt post this ask itself and if u respond to it do it in a separate post. Edit later: I was going to ask a question relating to all this but I forgot it and honestly im not going to just delete all of this which is a lot. my stance on the “dont post this” has changed and it would be ok just add any tags u think are needed??)

sorry about this really long message /gen i just never talk to anyone about this and got a little too deep into talking about it all.

no clue if this can be answered but i have NO clue who to talk about this to (if you know anyone who could answer this better please direct me to them!!). back when i was younger, i had an emotional attachment to my (not legally back then) adopted siblings. they were related to me by blood, as cousins and their mom had just given them to us randomly and we decided to take them in. i loved them so much. and she took them away from us, just to put them up in another home and another and eventually they ended up in the foster care system and she went to jail.

now, i was in an awful state during this time where they weren’t with me. before then, my mental health had been pretty good, no meltdowns/tantrums/etc and anger issues weren’t a problem. but when they were taken, i got worse and worse pretty fast. Everything started going downhill and I would always be getting in trouble at school, at least one problem every week if not more. This was around maybe second or third grade? Not sure.

Started getting attached to books and minecraft youtubers to try and help this all out, but all that happened was just an obsession for the rest of my life and nothing else. All my anxiety & stress and whatever else were a cause of this experience but I never even think about this anymore and it doesn’t make me feel much looking back (besides misery and wanting to cry about something that isnt even a problem anymore), i just wish i could tell my past self they would come back.

They’re back with us and have been legally adopted for maybe 2 years now? I don’t remember. My anger issues are getting easier to handle, but I still snap at people sometimes and some people have assumed I have BPD, which I’m pretty sure I don’t have. Even my cousin thinks I have BPD.

During this time, I had been in a girl scouts group that my mom made and everyone in the group had left us because I was (and i quote, paraphrased but i remember this well) “weird and different” and because of my anger issues. Which back then, I had no diagnosis’s for anything and now looking back it’s an even worse memory since turns out I’m ND. Oh and I also sleep deprived myself when my siblings were gone and now i have insomniiiaaa

again sorry for the really long ask, have a good day and I dont know how to end this since I accidentally just vented to someone who doesnt even know me sorry :(

It's really okay. There's nothing weird about you. You were in a shitty situation where you had no control, and changes like this during formative years can have a big effect. It can absolutely be traumatic.

I'd say it might be a good idea to look into emotional regulation issues, and maybe CPTSD, which has a lot of traits in common with BPD. You might want to look at DBT therapy, there's workbooks you can do yourself and I've found them really helpful

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

I'm tired, it's been a while since I've made an original post, but I'm just gonna rant a little about my interest in vore and roleplaying, and basically my interests in general.

I DESPERATELY want to like it more than I do. Like, I still love it, but I'm not nearly as motivated for any of it: drawing, writing, roleplaying. I don't know whether it's just cause I've grown or what, but I used to LOVE roleplaying. As in, leap for joy a bit in my seat that someone was interested in building these collab stories with me. Even better, when I roleplay I want to make stuff ABOUT that roleplay, which cycles into art that leads to more roleplays, etc. And it was sooo good.

I don't know. Maybe my standards are too much? Maybe I came across one two many doucheknobs that ruined it for me? I dunno. I really started losing steam about five years back when I deleted my old DA and my old Tumblr, things I'd cultivated over years and had a following on. And, when I decided to come back, obviously I had to start from scratch. But no one used DA as much, Tumblr is weird for roleplays, and I definitely don't feel comfortable on Twitter with this stuff. It feels far less interactive than before and it makes me think I'm doing something wrong. (I know I'm not, there's just that anxiety)

I've also just become tired and worn down in general, not including recent events. I want to do so much, but it never amounts to anything, and by the time I'm done with everything that has to be done, I have no time for anything I want to get done. And I KNOW this is common for everyone, I know I'm not the first or last person to feel like this, but it still sucks to have less interest in things than you used to. At this point, the most I do is read whatever little fics I can and imagine everything in my head because trying to write it coherently or even keep it in my mind enough to write is difficult. It's easier to word vomit my feelings out than it is to form a satisfactory roleplay response, roleplay prompt, oneshot, etc.

I put a lot of the pressure on myself as well. Everything I write or draw HAS to match my own standards in the cliche of being my own worst critic. Can't just sketch vore or anything anymore, it HAS to be a finalized piece. Oh, I have spelling mistakes in my writing? I should never touch a keyboard again. I haven't responded in more than three days? Well, it's too late now, time to never talk to them again.

Like I said, I know it's common, I just needed to angrily rant for a moment or two.

TLDR; Not happy with my motivation or work.

[sambergscott]

i'd wait forever and a day for you

summary: post-trying // jake is on an undercover mission and amy thinks she’s pregnant. 

(you should read this just for the last line tbh)

Her period is late.

At first, she attributes it to stress. Jake is on a major undercover operation and while she is an incredibly proud, supportive wife, she knows how dangerous the situation is. He’s a great cop -- one of New York’s finest, in both senses of the word (...he’s hot) -- and he was so excited about getting this assignment. And she’s excited for him -- really, she is. But with updates filtering through to Captain Holt at a snail’s pace, it’s impossible not to worry about him, where he is, what he’s doing, whether he’s safe. Her cycle was shot to hell when he was in Witness Protection in Florida and it is entirely possible that history is repeating itself. 

Four days pass, Jake is still undercover and her period still has not arrived. She tries to blame Hitchcock’s God-awful Zika cologne disrupting her cycle again until she remembers that both Hitchcock and Scully have been off work all week with food poisoning. She even Googles why is my period late?, quickly closing the tab and deleting her browser history when the first result that pops up is pregnancy. 

There’s no way she’s pregnant. She refuses to even consider it for a second. 

Despite her absolute certainty that her uterus is as empty as it’s always been, when Rosa invites her for drinks with her new boyfriend, Amy opts for a non-alcoholic beer. 

“I’m driving,” she explains at Rosa’s raised eyebrows and swiftly changes the conversation. She finds out that Rosa’s boyfriend is a mechanic and they hit it off when she took her motorbike in for repair. She talks about Jake, about how he’s her favourite person in the entire world and how much she misses him (A Lot). He asks her what it’s like dating a cop and how to deal with the person you love putting themselves in danger every single day, which makes Rosa blush. Amy has never seen her blush before. 

“It’s difficult,” she says truthfully. She hates seeing her husband hurting and being thrown in prison for crimes he didn’t commit and having guns pointed at his head. It’s why she instated the short-lived ‘no dating cops’ rule, before Jake kissed her and she decided screw it. “But it’s worth it. When you really love them, it’s worth the pain. Every second.”

“That’s what I thought,” he responds, looking at Rosa the way Jake looks at Amy. 

She finishes her drink (which is so not as good as its alcoholic counterpart) and gathers her coat and purse. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. See you Monday,” she directs at Rosa and “it was nice to meet you” at her boyfriend, who she has a feeling might be sticking around for a while. 

She opens up her Messages app and types out a full paragraph to Jake about how she met Rosa’s boyfriend before him and how he’s really nice and makes her blush! Rosa Disz!!! Blushing!!! She adds a gif of Jonathan Van Ness saying “can you believe?” and is about to click send when she realises his phone is on his nightstand where he left it before his mission and puts her phone back in her pocket in dismay. 

Once home, she gets changed into one of his NYPD t-shirts and climbs straight into bed, crying herself to sleep. 

She wakes up bright and early the next morning, a feat that is made significantly easier when there is no super cute husband to snuggle with. She showers, pulls on leggings and one of his plaid shirts and gets started on her Sunday Chores. Dancing around the apartment and pretending the mop is a microphone stand is a lot less fun on her own and she overcompensates, making herself dizzy and throwing up in the toilet she just cleaned. 

Without thinking, she finds herself at the bodega on the corner, staring at the selection of pregnancy tests. She grabs three of the safest looking ones and bites her lip when the guy congratulates her as she pays. She’s wasted hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests thus far and she knows she’s definitely wasting money on these ones too. She doesn’t need congratulating for making poor financial decisions and being bad at making babies, but she thanks him anyway. 

Back at the apartment, she dumps the paper bag on the kitchen counter to deal with later. She makes a cup of tea, calls her mom and fills in The Times crossword. The paper bag screams out to her the entire time. 

Reluctantly, she removes the boxes from the bag, fully intending to put them away in the back of the bathroom cabinet, out of sight. 

A niggling voice tells her to just open one and find out. 

She has the box open and the test in her hand when her phone buzzes with a text from Holt informing her that Jake is safe and the mission is going well. 

She drops the test like it burnt her skin. 

Jake. She can’t do this without him. If she is pregnant, she’d never forgive herself for finding out without him, for stripping him of that moment they’d been dreaming of forever. 

She’s waited this long, she can wait a few more days. And she’s probably not pregnant anyway. 

She ends up waiting two more weeks. 

It’s torture. 

She’s throwing up almost daily, crying in the break room for no apparent reason and her damn period has still not come. All symptoms which could be explained away by a lack of Jake Peralta and stress (due to missing the aforementioned Jake Peralta). 

Rosa corners her in the ladies bathroom and asks if she wants her to run out for more pregnancy tests.

“I already have some at home.”

“And?” She prompts. “Did you take them? Are you pregnant?”

“I don’t know.” She tries to play it off as no big deal, but Rosa knows her pretty well these days. 

“You’ve been trying for nearly a year, there’s a chance you are finally pregnant and you haven’t taken a test?”

“I can’t -- I want to -- Jake --.”

“Oh,” it dawns on her. 

“Yeah,” Amy sighs. “I’ve been staring at the tests every night but I just can’t. Not without him.  He’d be devastated.”

“He would not be devastated if you were pregnant, Amy Santiago.” 

“You know what I mean. He’d want to be have been there. I want him to be there.”

“I guess he needs to hurry the hell up and catch the bad guys then.”

He must have heard her because, hours later, the elevator door opens and there he is, exhausted and still in his weird undercover clothes, with the biggest smile on his face. 

She practically throws herself at him and, yeah, maybe she kisses him in a not-very-work-appropriate way and maybe some of the perps in the holding cell wolf whistle and maybe Charles is crying, but he is home and she can finally take those pregnancy tests. 

Holt allows her to clock out early (she makes a mental note to buy him a glass of Charbonnay the next time they go to Shaw’s) and Jake excitedly tells her all about the case, barely taking a second to breathe.

“Sounds fun, babe,” she says when he gets to the part of the story when he handcuffed the bad guys and then made out with this super hot chick in front of all his co-workers. 

“It was awesome,” he confirms. “What about you? What have you been up to? I missed you so much.”

“Aw,” she smiles, rubbing her hand over his thigh as he drives, “I missed you so much, too. As for what I’ve been up to, I’ve mostly just been kind of sick.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm. I... um... actually think I might be pregnant.”

He swerves suddenly, nearly crashing the car. Ignoring the cars around them honking, he focuses on his wife. “Pregnant?”

“My period is nearly three weeks late, I’ve been throwing up and I’ve been extra emotional,” she debriefs him. 

“Right. OK.” He takes a deep breath. “Have you taken a test?”

“I bought three but I couldn’t take them without you. It’s kind of been killing me.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he laughs, pulling over in front of their apartment. Neither of them move. “We should probably take them now.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. 

“You nervous?”

“Yeah,” she says again. She’s lost count of how many negative tests they’ve seen, how many times she’s felt that familiar crushing disappointment. The thought of going through it all over again... 

“I understand. We can wait, if you want. Or we could rip the band-aid off, let the scab bleed all over the place. I’ll hold your hand.”

There’s this reassuring look in his eyes that she’s seen a million times over from back when they were newly-assigned partners and he was reassuring her they would solve a tough case to that time on the roof of 397 Barton Street when he said he always knew she was going to be his boss to his speech at Hitchcock’s (second) divorce party when he told her that they are a family and that they can take whatever ‘next step’ she wants because as long as they’re together, he’s happy. 

Because it’s him, she nods. “Let’s do this.” 

The wait for the timer to go off seems longer than ever. She squeezes his hand so tight she thinks she might cut off the circulation, but he doesn’t complain, just keeps talking about how they’ll be fine, no matter what the result. 

The timer eventually goes off and she picks up the test and starts crying immediately. 

Jake hugs her tight and she can feel him crying too and this is so crazy and insane and good. 

“We’re having a baby,” he says in awe and it’s the best thing Amy’s ever heard. 

“We’re having a baby!” She repeats, half-laughing, half-crying. 

She yelps as he lifts her up and spins her around their tiny bathroom before kissing her tenderly. 

“I can’t believe this,” he exclaims when he pulls away, rubbing his hand over his face, “can you?”

“Nope.” She grins, kissing him again.

[failing-to-write-again]

Germany x Ireland!Reader: Snow Storms and Confessions

Ok so the plan was to post another scenario and write two more yesterday. But Tumblr did an oopsie and deleted everything.

Every cloud has a silver lining however, my friend sent me this gem of a find and all I could think about afterwards was this story. I was going to write them as scenarios but I found it difficult to imagine situations for the other characters.

So here's a different story. A one shot...goody.

---------------------------------------------------

*Ireland's POV*

I sat there cold and alone in the Russian airport terminal. My flight cancelled due to the violent snow storm outside and no hotel room to go to. All the other countries had already left, the usual flights to Ireland weren't available. Just one at 10pm when a blizzard was due. Russia didn't exactly give a direct response when I brought it up...

*flash back*

"Little Ireland! You are feisty small one, you're lack of fear is amusing."

"I'm not being feisty I just want to know why there's none of the usual planes to my country. I don't want to end up caught in the blizzard"

"Она умнее, чем выглядит...I don't involve myself petty plane issues. Perhaps this is fate, you believe in a lot of those magical fairy tales no?"

she's smarter then she looks

"Она также говорит по-русски. Что ты прячешь?"

she also speaks Russian. What are you hiding?

*flash forward to present*

Just before I could pry, Germany got the meeting started and I was left to get to my seat and ponder over Russia's behaviour. He's a strange study for sure.

Germany was as well. We became properly acquainted in the early 1900s only labelling ourselves as friends around the 70s when I joined the early version of the EU (then EEC). He definitely is a layered character, and even though he is sweet once I became closer with him, he seems to still be hiding aspects of his personality. But enough about that I'm cold and have to figure out where I'll sleep tonight.

"Ireland? Vhat are jou doing here?"

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive...

"Hey Germy, my flight got cancelled and it was the only one available, my hotel booking also ran out so I'm just sorta stuck here haha."

A rather enjoyable shade of red spread across his face at the mention of the nickname. I'd do anything to see those little cracks in his tightly woven character. Anything to see the little smiles or chuckles, the crush I'd developed over years of friendship pushing me to.

"V...Vell mein flight vas cancelled as vell...vould you like to share a hotel room vith me? I still have an extra day."

Panic.

"I wouldn't be against it, but you probably would like to not share a room so I understand if you don't want to and everything. Thanks for the offer though"

"Nein it's fine I don't mind ve're friends ja? It's ok!"

The air is so fucking uncomfortable. Big brother France is looking on in disappointed from Paris. I just know it. After a few more rounds of pitiful back and forth we agreed we both were ok with sharing a room and set off, chittering throughout the walk.

*[insert timeskip joke] Germany's POV*

Ireland was in the bathroom getting ready for bed as I sat mentally preparing to sleep beside her.

At some point my feelings of friendship began to be replaced with... love as Italy put it. I thought I was ill whenever my heart would flutter like a manly butterfly near her. After voicing my concerns to my brother and Italy, bruder proceeded to have a laughing fit. Italy took the time to gush about love long enough for me to come to the conclusion I was in it.

Ireland. She's not perfect by any means and we've had our fair share of arguments and disagreements. Though we always manage to work then out. Would it be the same if we were dating? I would be living in a dream if that was true...

The door opened and in she came. In the shorts she wore for sleep her false leg was on full display. I remember helping her make it, replacing the standard wooden one for a metal one with upgrades bring added whenever we visited eachother or were together in our free time from longer summits. The leg, essentially fully functional due to her use of spells and my use of metal. Light blue swirls, famous for their use in her history giving off a slight hum in the dark room, dancing up and down the metal limb. Gott she was an angel.

"That meeting left me a wreck." She stifled a yawn, lowering herself slowly to the bed beside me. The blue began to fade slowly as she stopped using magic, bleeding up her leg until disappearing once it reached the end of the metal at her upper thigh. "How does it vork?" I lowly hummed.

"The magic I use to move the leg? It's a weird mix of electricity and telekinesis. I use the electricity to stimulate the metal wires and pistons you put into it and use the telekinesis to make it move in a more natural way. I just wish it didn't glow, it makes it impossible to hide"

Hide? Why hide it? It's beautiful...is it inappropriate to say that out loud? I settle on a less invasive response.

"Why hide it? The blue looks like the tattoo you always joke about getting?"

She went quiet did I go to far? No she always said when I went too far same as I always did if our discussions on my...past got too vivid...She continued.

"When I lost my leg, I lost a part of myself. The image of the country who would fight anyone to be free, that had the confidence of countries ten times her size, it was gone. I kept up the act in letters and statements acting like the leg didn't phase me...Then I got to finally see my siblings again. None of them were allowed near me after one of my attempts for freeedom out of fear I'd help them escape or convince England to go rogue against his boss. They watched me struggle to do anything, they watched me have to ask for help to move, they watched me weak. It's been hard adjusting...then..."

She took a deep breath and looked up. Something she often did when trying not to cry. I gently lay a hand on her back and put on the calmest voice I could.

"Then vhat? Take jour time, I know it's difficult, but please tell me vhat happened?"

"I met someone. They helped me without even realising it. They slowly built up my confidence in myself, taught me how to laugh and smile like I used to. Obviously my family helped but the help from this person stuck with me more I suppose. He built me up, tried to help when he didn't have to."

He. My world slowly shattered and fell around me. So she has somebody else. Someone better. Someone who can show her all the love they probably expect being raised by someone like France and England.

"Oh...vill jou tell me more about him?"

She let a slow smile spread across her face.

"He's kind and sweet but covers it over with a stiff outer shell. He has many talents...so many talents. He's amazing really, but one thing in particular is what I think made me fall for him."

"Vhat vas it? That he did"

I was probing. I was pushing too far into her private life. If she never spoke about him in all our years of friendship, she had a reason not to. She's a damn ex-spy and rebel leader she knows how much to trust people. But...I didn't care. I wanted to know. Needed to. I had loved her for years only for her to slip away the moment I had started working to con-

"He built me a new leg. Then he called it pretty and sleek and said he liked the blue the magic made on it."

Oh...this was...not what I expected. I was the one who built the leg...she knows that...she...she...

"Ireland I..."

I slowly pulled her gently, she was straddling me so I could look into her eyes.

"Do jou really. But vhat I've done. How could jou?"

"Fall for a lovable human being? It's rather simple. I'm just hoping you'll give this amputee a chance."

She looked at me hopefully through her eye lashes. At that moment I realised why us Germans aren't seen as great romantics. We're better at doing, not speaking. So do I did.

I kissed her. Pouring every piece of emotion I felt for her, because of her into it. Desperately trying to show her how much I cared regardless of how bad I'd be at saying it. And it was bliss. My pulse was racing faster then any of my, no Germany's, F1 cars.

She was with me, not my country, not my people, ME. And I'm going to be selfish.

Her soft warm lips, pushing against my colder ones. Tasting like that brand of chocolate she loves mixed with the minty taste of toothpaste. Her arms, laying around me neck, playing with the hairs on the back of my head. My arms, pulling her closer filling every gap between us I could find. I was in heaven, kissing an angel, and I wasn't going to give it up for anything. The entire world could be damned so long as she was in my arms. Everything Italy, France, Spain, Bruder, and all the other countries preached about love suddenly clicked. I loved her. I never wanted to leave her side. I wanted to be her hero, her Ritter (knight), her lover.

And by the way she was kissing back she wanted to be mine.

*POV switch*

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE'S KISSING ME!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I'M KISSING HIM!

AAAHHHHHHHH!!!

I barely thought of anything else, all I could focus on was getting drunk off his kisses. He was kissing me like the world was ending and I loved it.

At some point it went from me in his lap to beneath him on the bed, staring into icy blue eyes.

"vell..." He drawled "ve have a hotel room, a snow storm. no ozher countries on zhis floor, or anyvone for that matter until tomorrow. and a very horny country. vhat do jou suppose ve do Ms.Ireland?"

I spoke before my mind could think. "Well Mr.Germany. A second, equally as horny country is beneath you so the real question is...Was wirst du dagegen tun?

What are you going to do about it?

Snap.

"Ich heiße nicht deutschland Ich heiße ludvig" he growls out. Responds very well to German if the kisses are any proof.

My name isn't Germany. My name is Ludwig

I leant up to whisper in his ear..."Es ist gut zu wissen, was ich später schreien werde. Ich bin (Y/N)."

It's good to know what I'll be screaming later. I'm (Y/N).

I hear a growl before my hands are held above my head with kisses attacking my neck...If this was Russia's plan for only having only one flight home then he's getting cookies next meeting.

*both POV*

Thank God/Gott for snow storms.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Savannah: [Okay so my idea is it's literally the first day because of course it is, highkey bitches, and like they haven't had chance to talk much as they're also the kinda bitches who wanna make a good first impression on whoever they are doing this work experience for but then they get told to do something together. The thing is, Jac can't find Sav, until she does find her crying in the bathroom because it's like a few months previous so her dad hasn't left yet and things are really messy between her parents obvs she would've tried to call her boyfriend but he wouldn't answer cos he's doing work experience too so Jac comforts her and it's a #bondingmoment and I thought we could start the convo after that/ later either with Jac being like are you okay now or Sav being like I'm so embarrassed] Jac: [yes 1000% to all of that, good thinking boo] Savannah: [would you like to start it being concerned to show she's not like Mia levels of callous heartless bitch?] Jac: [on it lmao] Jac: Hi, just wanted to check in, I hope you're feeling a bit better now Jac: know we haven't particularly before, but if you do ever need to talk Jac: sometimes friends don't get it, I know Savannah: Oh god, I've never been this embarrassed in my entire life! Savannah: I don't normally do that, honestly Jac: Of course Jac: You so don't need to be, I promise Jac: it sounds like you're going through a lot right now, you did amazing keeping it together all day Savannah: Everything is getting on top of me, I swear I'd be living at my boyfriend's if not for my little sister Savannah: but when I am home I have to be strong for her so I just feel so alone there Savannah: Like, I can't even feel how I feel Jac: Everyone always puts such unfair pressure on the oldest, I'm the same Jac: but you are strong, I can tell, even if you don't feel it all the time Jac: it's strong to admit you aren't okay, and that that's okay Savannah: That's so true! Did we ask to get born first, no? Savannah: you're the sweetest, I can tell Savannah: none of my friends have even tried to make me feel better Jac: Lifetime of being a babysitter and bodyguard 🙄 Jac: People can get so wrapped up in their own 'drama' Jac: some people we go to school with have never had an actual problem in their life and it shows Jac: but like I said, you can always come to me, even if you just wanna vent everything out and not have me respond, that's totally fine Jac: you should have someone you can confide in Savannah: Sienna needs it though, she's very very shy Savannah: People would take advantage if I wasn't there Savannah: Exactly! They think not getting a text back is a crisis Savannah: don't judge me because I know how this sounds but my boyfriend has totally become my best friend since we got together Savannah: it's great & I love that but I can't offload EVERYTHING onto him Savannah: there's no way I could have a breakdown & then delete it later, you know? Jac: Mine are the total opposite of shy, but there's no telling what kind of nonsense they'd get into if I weren't there to keep them safe Jac: That makes total sense Jac: and I think its sweet, most girls don't even LIKE their boyfriends, it's so childish Jac: but you're right, you can't rely on one person for everything, it's not fair on them, but also you Savannah: Yes! 👏 Why would I spend my precious time with someone who isn't worth that? Savannah: I don't understand most of the people we go to school with, seriously Savannah: my friends are always with their boyfriends too but fighting constantly about things that are nonsense Jac: 🙌 Preach Jac: Me either, it's honestly tiring having to deal with their 'logic' Jac: I thought there was like, no one at school with their priorities straight Savannah: & if you try & say anything you get attacked, like I'm offering help Savannah: my life is falling apart here & I do not have the mental space for your negativity Jac: People don't like when you help 'cos they cause their 'problems' themselves and they've got no intention of fixing them Jac: try not to take it personally, it says SO much more about them than it does you Jac: it's shitty they can't but that aside and be there for you when you really need them though, I'm sorry ❤ Savannah: You should literally be my parents relationship therapist Jac: I do want to do Psychology at Uni Savannah: OH MY GOD, me too! Savannah: I wanna go to Bath but I wouldn't mind St Andrews either even though it's only ranked 4th Savannah: Oxford & Cambridge are...what's the word? Jac: No way Jac: How do we have so much in common and we're only just finding out? Jac: It's like, they're the dream but also, are they just too old-fashioned for words? Jac: Some people in my family went to Cambridge, and I want to make my own path, you know? Savannah: That's SO important Savannah: & I know what you mean, as an educated black girl I just cannot Savannah: Imagine if we'd ended up at the same uni & I ran into you at some party or lecture Jac: ^^ You really have to think about these things Jac: That would be crazy Jac: as much as I'm DYING for the fresh start, it would be cool to have you there, a familiar face 😌 Savannah: You can read my mind Jac: I'm pretty sure I want Bath too, but Edinburgh seems like such a COOL city so 🤔😬😂 Jac: Cannot wait to do tours Savannah: You're SO right, there's no way to decide properly until we've been there Jac: I wish I could convince my 'rents that I need to go sooner rather than later 🙄 Savannah: I could talk my dad into anything at the moment, come with us! Jac: Seriously? Savannah: you have to Jac: We were meant to meet Jac: properly meet, I mean Savannah: That's what it feels like Jac: Fate is such a thing, honestly, there's so many weird 'conincidences' that have totally changed my life Savannah: It was such a strange little moment that brought me and my boyfriend together too, that could've easily not happened Jac: Right? Jac: Life is so crazy Savannah: I feel really happy at this exact moment & I wanted to die earlier Savannah: it's you Savannah: you're incredible Jac: I'm so glad you feel better, that's like, what I was meant to do, I can feel it Jac: you're so lovely, like ??? Savannah: Why have we never talked before? How? Jac: It's madness! Jac: Like, I need you in my life, honestly, my friends are just not even on the same planet sometimes, I swear Savannah: Oh honey, you can talk to me whenever too Savannah: I'm bringing breakfast into work for us tomorrow, no arguments, what do you love? Jac: ❤❤ Jac: caffeine anything 😜 Jac: do you go to [some #aes af cafe she definitely does go to too]? their pastries are 😘 so good Savannah: Get out! Of course I do! Savannah: I can't believe we haven't seen each other there Jac: 🤯🤯 This is silly now Jac: we're gonna have to sit down and work out the things we DON'T have in common at this rate Savannah: I'm going to [another aesthetic af place] later if you want to join? Home is the last place I wanna be Jac: Definitely Jac: Not done cheering you up yet Jac: and that place is also PERFECT Savannah: 🙌 Thank god you said yes 🙌 Savannah: I would totally have been crying again if it was a no Jac: Never Jac: You're so cool, Savannah Savannah: I'm going to have to think of a description for you that like only exists for you Savannah: because there are some other cool people but you're next level Jac: You are just the sweetest too, like how are you EVERYTHING Savannah: We're clearly everything together, we worked so hard today & now this Savannah: not letting you leave my life Jac: We make the perfect team Jac: I was lowkey so worried no one else would be going to this placement and then it turns out the BEST person ever is, okay 🙏🌍 Savannah: 💞 Savannah: All my friends are working in nurseries or in shops that'll give them free skincare Jac: Seriously! 🙄 Everyone just wants to have the easiest time possible Jac: my friend is legit working on reception in the sports centre next to the school Jac: like this is a chance to get your foot in the door somewhere and that's what you came up with? smh Savannah: You had it spot on when you said nobody our age has any sense of priorities Savannah: no offence to your friend but I could never Jac: Me either, there's a reason she's on her own 💁😏 Savannah: 😄