#oh he's so saint sebastian coded

[bumblingdragon]

Whumptober - day 8 - Outnumbered

[notyourbroadwaybabe]

Reluctant Movie Star || Self-Para

Jesse awoke with a gasp, his eyes snapping open and trying to make sense of the blurry scene in front of him as his vision adjusted. He went to move, only to find his hands and legs were bound to the chair he was sitting in and... something was stopping him calling out to. Some kind of gag - and not the fun kind.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” a voice sad and Jesse blinked, the room coming into focus. “Tony?” He tried to say, forgetting about the object preventing him from speaking so it just came out a muffled sound. But it was - he could see the man clearly now. The new bartender at the club and...oh god, the water. He must have dosed the water and then brought him here.

He supposed he should probably be concerned that - while his first question was but why? it wasn’t because he couldn’t think of any reason... but that he could think of many.

“I must say, it has been relatively boring waiting for you to wake up,” the man continued, “I was almost worried I put too much sedative in your drink and this was all going to be over far too soon.”

Tony - well, Nathan, but Jesse didn’t know that - laughed as Jesse struggled, rolling his eyes, “you may as well just relax, St. James. I practiced tying those knots for hours, you’re not getting out.” 

Jesse shot him a glare, trying to convey everything he was feeling into the single look. Well, almost everything. He didn’t want to show the other man fear because despite being confident in his abilities, he still felt fear now. He was tied down, unable to move or fight back. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Tony could hurt (or worse) him in a second if he wanted to.

“You think you and Sebastian have everybody fooled at work? I’ve been there for a couple of weeks and I can already tell you and him have got somethin’ going on. And whatever it is, it’s going to help me here. Because you see, you and I are going to make a little video. And then send that to the Smythes-”

Jesse’s eyes widened. Tony said The Smythes. Not Sebastian. Jesus Christ, this was not how he wanted Sebastian’s family to find out ... well, he had sort of been hoping they’d never find out. They’d probably assume he was in it for the money or protection and kill him off to protect their heir.

Tony, oblivious to Jesse’s minor panic, continued “- and then if Sebastian cares for you as much as I suspect, and I’m pretty confident, he won’t be able to resist coming here to make a dashing rescue.” Tony grinned, “too bad all he’ll be here to see is you dying. Before I kill him.” He sighed, “he didn’t really give me much choice in the matter so it’s hardly my fault either. Anyway. Now you just sit there and don’t say a word while I film this, okay?” 

Tony winked at him, teasing the fact he couldn’t say anything if he wanted to. He couldn’t warn Sebastian it was a trap. Jesse... he knew he was a nobody in the grand scheme of things. He could pretend all he liked, but he wasn’t ever going to be more than that. Sebastian... despite his family, and his career and his future position as head of the family, he was good. Jesse believed that. You didn’t have to be the patron saint of abiding the law to be good - sure, maybe some people would get hurt along the way but there’d always be a good reason for it. Sebastian had his own code - and he didn’t waver from that. And right now, he couldn’t think of any way to tell him not to. He only hoped that maybe the other man didn’t care for him as much as Tony thought - as much as Jesse thought.

“And... action.”

Tony pressed record on the camera perched on the tripod in front of Jesse and walked over next to him. Jesse looked into it, trying to convey everything he was thinking in one look but he wasn’t sure how successful he was.

“Smythes ... you took something of mine, and now I’ve taken something of yours, Sebastian. He’s a pretty thing, I can understand why you like him really. But you and I need to talk and I couldn’t think of another way to get you here, alone. So, you’ve got two hours. The abandoned warehouse on Sixth. And if you don’t come at all - or if you don’t come alone,” Tony pulled a gun out from where it had been tucked into the band of his trousers at the back, “I’ll blow the dancer’s brains out faster than you can say stop. So... tick, tock, Sebastian. We’ll be waiting.”

With one final press of the gun to Jesse’s temple, he pulled it away, tucking it back where it had been and walking over the camera to press the stop button and unscrewing it from the tripod.

“Nice job, St James. I’ll be sure to bill you as the supporting actor before I edit it,” he laughed soundly, walking over to his laptop which was perched on an old workbench and plugging it in, “too bad it’ll be your last regardless of what your boyfriend does.”

Jesse wanted to scream but he couldn’t... there was nothing he could do.

Except hope that Sebastian wouldn’t take the bait. Hope that he would just let him die and continue on with his life.

At least he didn’t have to worry about Sebastian’s Dad finding out now... it didn’t matter either way.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

Felix Lupei. *Main Character.

Voice Claim: (Dylan O’Brien) https://youtu.be/YiqG5up_qeM?t=1m43s

Partner(s): Jackall, Sebastian, Omen. Parents: Evan and Akin. Kids: None. Other family members: The Cullman, Shaw and Thompson family. Daniel, and the Lupei clan. And of course his siblings, Lina, Willow, Odette, Sam and Oscar. Age: Immortal, but translates into mid 20′s. Birthday: 20th of June. Height: 178cm Body type: A bit on the skinny side, but muscly. Eye color: Light blue and pink.   Classification: (Immortal) Shapeshifter —-> wolf and white stag. He’s also an illusionist (An Illusionist is a person who can change the structure of molecules to make a location or person appear different. Sometimes this can be used to mask something that is already there or to create a distraction and lead someone the wrong way. Some Illusionists can create these illusions using their mind while others choose to use a more concrete method such as drawing or writing. These types of Illusionists are more stable and less likely to get caught up in their illusions. All Illusionists have very vivid imaginations and their dreams feel very real to them.)

About: ~ Outgoing, spontaneous, brave, charming, cheeky, flirty, adventurous, social, adaptable, enthusiastic, sassy, positive, cheerful, confident, vibrant, problem-solver, energetic, creative, fearless, humorous, easygoing, easy to talk to, open-minded, capable, helpful, creative, dramatic, fun-loving, colorful, neat, popular, irresponsible, sensitive and outgoing. ~ Gay. ~ Has long silky straight black hair.   ~ Has a twin sister, Odette.   ~ Reincarnation of Akin and Evan’s kids through time.   ~ He chose his own name as a toddler. ~ Quite a good dancer. ~ Loves making ‘spa treatments’ for his sisters. ~ Has several tattoos scattered on his body. ~ Wants to become a DJ. ~ Was in nurse training. ~ Is quite feminine at times. ~ Don’t mistake his pretty exterior, Felix packs a punch if he needs to. ~ Loves to wear makeup and dresses, skirts, heels. ~ Cat person. ~ Skilled at Fencing. ~ Very skilled at several martial arts. ~ Very skilled in archery. ~ Watches a lot of makeover programs.  ~ Lives in New York. ~ Fiddles around with possible getting his own makeup tutorial/fashion Youtube-thingy. ~ Goes by the nick name Felly. ~ Fierce. ~ Can be a bit dramatic/petty/salty. ~ Smells like: DKNY - Be Delicious, Juicy Couture - Viva La Juicy, Tom Ford - Rose Prick, Lolita Lempicka - L De Lolita, Lolita Lempicka - Midnight Couture, Guerlain - La Petite Robe Noire, Lancome - La Nuit Tresor, Victor & Rolf - BonBon, Lancome - Tresor Midnight Rose, Vera Wang - Pink Princess, Katy Perry - Royal Revolution, Calvin Klein - Euphoria, Dolce&Gabbana - Dolce Garden, Yves Saint Laurent - Black Opium, Taylor Swift - Wonderstruck, Marc Jacobs - Daisy So Fresh, Marc Jacobs - Oh Lola!, Giorgio Armani - Armani Code, Christian Dior - Poison, Christian Dior - Midnight Poison and Givenchy - Ange Ou Demon. ~ Obsessed with Brendon Urie from Panic! At The Disco. ~ Loves his parents, his partners, siblings and other family members, sex, fetish sex, wearing female clothes/shoes/, any sort of luxury, all kinds of electronic music, cats, dolphins, swimming, diving, surfing, bright colors, going to the cinema, going clubbing, dancing, alcohol, making porn, meeting new people, socializing in any way, loves posing in front of a camera, candy, dildos, glitter, shopping, NY, silk sheets, being spoiled, rough sex, drugs, neon lights, beach life, beach parties, cupcakes, Champagne, stars, the moon, feeling free, chocolate covered strawberries, makeup, smoothies, coffee, bubble tea, pizza, Starbucks, Burger King and the smell of rain. ~ Dresses mostly on the casual side, preferable something with bright colors, often a crop top paired with baggy pants or jeans and chunky heels. ~ He is for the most part very positive, not much seems to get him down. People love hanging out with him, and he’s always up for fun. Felly’s tag Felly’s house/home Felly’s moodboard Handwriting/ask answer pic:

One Gif to describe him:  

One song to describe him: The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling Personal play list: 1. Thulin - Dancer (Kygo Remix) 2. LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock - Party Rock Anthem 3. Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters - Destination Calabria 4. Panic! At The Disco - High Hopes 5. Michael Gray - Borderline 6. Oh Wonder - Lose It (Jerry Folk Remix) 7. Avicii - Hey Brother (TEEMID & Tessa Rose Jackson Cover) 8. The Paper Kites - Bloom (Close To You) (Alex Brandt Remix) 9. Taylor Swift - ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco) 10. Calvin Harris - Feel so close (Housejunkee Edit) 11. Disclosure - Latch (Daniela Andrade & Teemid Remix) 12. Ed Sheeran - I'm In Love With The Coco (Hitimpulse Remix) 13. Panic! At The Disco: New Perspective 14. James Hersey - Coming Over (Filous Remix) 15. Sia - Chandelier (Matthew Heyer Remix Ft. Madilyn Bailey) 16. Panama Wedding - Infinite High (Bee's Knees Remix) 17. LMFAO ft. Lil Jon - Shots 18. Wiz Khalifa - Young Wild & Free (Konglomerate Remix) 19. Victoria Magda - Pumped Up Kicks (AceLine Remix) 20. Panic! At The Disco: But It's Better If You Do 21. Daft Punk - Get Lucky (Official Audio) ft. Pharrell Williams, Nile Rodgers 22. Aloe Blacc - I Need A Dollar (Ben E & Falki Remix) 23. Ellie Goulding - High For This (Kygo Remix) 24. John Gibbons - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) 25. Joe Stone - The Party ft. Montell Jordan (This Is How We Do It) 26. Mr. Belt & Wezol, Jack Wins - One Thing 27. Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies 28. Fedde Le Grand - So Much Love 29. LMFAO - La La La 30. Taylor Swift - Delicate (AFG Remix)

[luninosity]

I think the first half of this chapter of ‘rain on tin’ is done...

...now for the second half...

*sigh*

##

“He can bench-press, like, somebody the size of me. He works out. He’s got, y’know, knife training and fight training…” Chris Evans looked away: out into the night. “But he’s not an Avenger. Not like—like you. He’s the sweetest guy I know. He won’t even kill a spider. He picks them up and says hi to them.”

 Bucky tried to visualize himself doing this. He failed. The fate of spiders had not occurred to him since waking up. But he thought that perhaps the next time he met a spider, he might try it. He might try gently, like Sebastian Stan, carrying it outside. He nudged Chris’s foot with his, hopefully companionably. Felt like the thing to do. “Sounds kinda too good to be true.”

 “He’s not a saint or anything, don’t get me wrong.” Chris’s smile was fond and sad and scared at once, like wounded stars. “Seb swears at himself in Romanian when he thinks he’s not getting a line delivered right, he adores his Instagram account, and I once saw him drink four giant iced coffees in, like, an hour. And if you tell him someone’ll be happy if he does something, he’ll half kill himself doing it for them, showing up when he’s exhausted or sick or running a fever…”

 “That one sounds familiar.” Bucky sighed. “You bought him one of those four iced coffees, didn’t you.”

 “Yeah.” Chris laughed, though the sound echoed hollow as an empty room. “Should’ve guessed like three other people’d have the same idea. Everyone fucking loves Seb. Even if they barely know him. He smiles, and, like…the world lights up around him, y’know?”

 “Yes.” He pulled a leg up, hugged it with both arms, chin on knee; metal whirred, and Chris Evans laughed again, startled. Bucky eyed him. “What?”

 “Oh…Seb does that. Flexible. Weird poses. Like a cat. I should’ve said—I always want to kiss him. Anything he does, really.”

 “We’ll get him back for you. What?”

 “You know,” Chris Evans said, regarding him in rainlight, “I get the casting. I mean, I always did, but I totally do now.”

 “Because we’re both flexible? Like cats? Which’re awesome, thanks.”

 “Nope.”

 “Then what?”

 “You really don’t see it, do you?”

 “I have knives, Evans.”

 “You’re not gonna hurt me. You—”

 “The Winter Soldier’s the world’s scariest nightmare,” Bucky grumbled.

 “You’ve heard me talk about Sebastian,” Chris said. “They cast him, all of that, everything I just said, to play you.”

 Bucky could not answer this for a minute; and then, wounded and scared and furious at how badly he wished it could be true, he said, “Fuck you.”

 “I’m serious,” Chris said. “Though if you are too…no. I don’t know. I would, but I’m thinking about Seb and you’re in love with Steve. Plus you’d probably break me in half with your giant super-soldier dick, not that that’s not an awesome way to go, and, I mean, I would. Like I said. You’re you, and it’s confusing as hell, because you look like Seb but you’re not Seb but you’re a good guy and also I keep thinking about how you’d feel fuckin’ amazing on top of me or under me but it’s also fuckin’ weird. Shit. Sorry. My point is, about you…don’t just think I’m wrong. Think about it. If we see it, if people in another dimension see it…”

 “Then you’re all fucking interdimensionally wrong,” Bucky said, “and you don’t deserve my giant super-soldier dick,” which was something at least one of his selves would’ve said to Steve, once or twice upon a time. Here and now it made Chris Evans laugh, which worked for the intended external deflection.

 The deflection did not work on Bucky’s chest, which felt odd. Tight and sore and lonely, like somebody’d been playing around with his heart. His heart knew what it was for: it was for loving Steve Rogers and keeping that love locked up tight so as not to be a burden. Chris Evans had put a key into that lock and turned it, and the teeth caught and tore at edges of possibility.

 If someone, somewhere, looked at Sebastian Stan—the sweetest guy on the planet, with a smile that could light up the world, according to a very biased Chris Evans—and saw even a glimpse of some impossible Bucky Barnes, that meant—

 He did not know what that meant.

 The rain chattered and sang, as if offering an answer. Bucky spoke a lot of languages these days, but raindrop code had not been required.

  He closed both eyes for a moment; he opened them to find Chris’s gaze steady on his.

[boldmistakes]

How to be Family Friendly in the Modern World (seblaine, 1/1)

summary: A far-from-exhaustive selection of text exchanges and acknowledged phone calls between Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe. Or, alternatively: "You used to text Sebastian all the time! You would call him, even!" the fic. [~4.5k] [A03] warnings: brief mention of Finn, but not in a grief context notes: happy seblaine anniversary! here’s to six fabulous years with you wonderful people! it’s before midnight somewhere, right?

i.

--

SEBASTIAN [21:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [21:12]: Missing Dalton coffee yet?

BLAINE [22:02]: Always!

SEBASTIAN [22:03]: Then you should drop by again. We can grab a few cups, I can show you around, you can see how things have changed …

BLAINE [22:47]: Dalton can’t have changed that much in a few months.

SEBASTIAN [22:48]: Maybe not. But they did give me your old room. You can see what I’ve done with the place.

BLAINE [23:04]: Significantly altering the Dalton dormitories is against Rule 3, subsection 12, point 2 of the Dalton Handbook.

SEBASTIAN [23:04]: Shit haha, did you memorize that?

SEBASTIAN [23:04]: I didn’t even realize there was a handbook

SEBASTIAN [23:05]: So there’s new things to see. I promise. Like I got a bigger bed. Six plus privilege.

SEBASTIAN [23:05]: You know what they say about tall guys ;)

BLAINE [23:10]: They have trouble fitting into short beds?

Keep reading on A03

BLAINE [23:11]: Anyways, the trek out to Dalton is kind of a long one. Maybe we can meet in the middle? Have you ever been to the Lima Bean?

SEBASTIAN [23:12]: No.

BLAINE [23:14]: It’s good! Their medium drip is to die for, I used to go there every day.

SEBASTIAN [23:15]: Sounds like a trek itself from Dalton

BLAINE [23:15]: No, it’s actually pretty close to Dalton, you can look on Google maps

SEBASTIAN [23:16]: So why not just come to Dalton? Your buddies miss you

BLAINE [23:17]: Because Lima Bean coffee > Dalton coffee

BLAINE [23:17]: Trust me.

SEBASTIAN [23:18]: Believe it when I drink it

SEBASTIAN [23:18]: But okay

BLAINE [23:19]: Then it’s settled? How does tomorrow work for you, around four?

SEBASTIAN [23:19]: It’s a date.

SEBASTIAN [23:19]: See you then, sexy

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I have a boyfriend, you know.]

--

ii.

--

BLAINE [18:23]: Scandals doesn’t have a dress code does it

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: Picture me laughing at that

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: Don’t worry. Just show up cute as ever, you’ll be fine

BLAINE [18:57]: And you’re sure the IDs will work?

SEBASTIAN [19:01]: It’ll be fine

BLAINE [19:03]: Mine says I’m 38!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You don’t think I look that old, do you?]

SEBASTIAN [19:04]: They just need to say they saw something, legally, but it could be made in your baby sister’s arts n crafts class. Trust me.

BLAINE [19:05]: Okay. You’re the expert.

SEBASTIAN [19:05]: Nice of you to notice ;)

--

BLAINE [11:26]: Thanks for the lift last night. I was really out of it.

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: I’d say. You tried to convince me Grease 2 had its merits

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I just think people are a little too hard on sequels!]

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: But seriously

SEBASTIAN [11:28]: Anytime, buddy

--

SEBASTIAN [22:21]: You smashed it. Standing O, seriously.

BLAINE [7:12]: Thanks!

--

SEBASTIAN [17:18]: Is it wrong to thank you, your ass, your mouth, for the fantastic jerk off session I just had?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> What? Really?

> You’re not serious.

> What the fuck?]

BLAINE [18:03]: Yes.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Masturbation while thinking of friends is perfectly normal of course and I won’t pretend I’ve never, but,]

BLAINE [18:04]: Please don’t be like that, Sebastian, or we can’t talk anymore.

SEBASTIAN [18:09]: Oops. So I’m to stay pg13?

BLAINE [18:09]: That would be nice.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You’re full of shit. You know exactly what this is, don’t you?]

--

SEBASTIAN [14:35]: Hello pg-friend. How’s your pg-day going?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (unimpressed emoji string)]

BLAINE [14:40]: It’s going fine.

BLAINE [14:41]: How are you?

SEBASTIAN [14:43]: I can’t answer that question if I’m to stay family friendly.

BLAINE [14:44]: Sebastian, I have a boyfriend.

SEBASTIAN [14:45]: You don’t say.

SEBASTIAN [14:45]: It wasn’t about you. It’s about the guy who’s ((censored)) me right now and doing such a bad job out of it I wish I was watching C-span instead.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You’d do a much better job of it. I can tell.

> ???????????? he’s doing what ????????? how are you texting?]

BLAINE [14:46]: I see

BLAINE [14:46]: Stop him?

SEBASTIAN [14:46]: I never turn down free … let’s say whistle-blowing services

SEBASTIAN [14:47]: It’s rude

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And I’m starting to get a cramp in my wrist from the blue balls you’ve given me anyways.

> Dump your boyfriend.]

BLAINE [14:48]: Then too bad for you?

SEBASTIAN [14:54]: Not too bad. I did just ((censored))

BLAINE [14:54]: Not cute, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN [15:19]: I can’t help if my life is rated R

SEBASTIAN [15:52]: What would you have me do?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Leave me alone.

> You have hobbies that don’t involve sex, don’t you?

> Do you like being irritating?

> Are we friends?

> I don’t know.]

--

SEBASTIAN [18:21]: I can tell you’re online, you know.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I know.

> I miss Dalton.]

--

BLAINE [8:01]: Sorry. Been busy, glee club stuff.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Don’t get boring on me.]

--

BLAINE [16:26]: Why do people ignore good ideas?

SEBASTIAN [16:26]: People are, as a rule, stupid.

SEBASTIAN [16:26]: What’s up? You didn’t look too happy at the Bean

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You crashed my date!]

BLAINE [16:28]: Glee club stuff

SEBASTIAN [16:30]: Must be a lot of stuff. Care to share?

BLAINE [16:31]: I don’t know if I should

SEBASTIAN [16:31]: So what? You think I’m out to sabotage your club now?

SEBASTIAN [16:32]: I thought the Warblers were your friends

BLAINE [16:32]: They are!

BLAINE [16:32]: You’re right. It’s not real top-secret stuff anyways. Just … people don’t want to listen to me.

SEBASTIAN [16:33]: Why not? Other than stupidity.

BLAINE [16:35]: Because I’m new, I guess

BLAINE [16:35]: But I did good with the Warblers, didn’t I?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Vocals, sure. Dancing, eh.]

SEBASTIAN [16:36]: Yeah, you were amazing with the Warblers.

BLAINE [16:36]: Thank you

BLAINE [16:37]: So I have an established history with glee clubs, right? You’d think some of my ideas would be worth taking into account. But no. I’m an interloper.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Come back here, then.]

BLAINE [16:37]: I know I’m new and I have to pay my dues first.

BLAINE [16:38]: It’s just not what I expected, I guess.

SEBASTIAN [16:41]: Make a power base. Get some support. Friends, lackies, whatever

SEBASTIAN [16:41]: People who will agree with you

BLAINE [16:42]: That’s not really how the New Directions work

BLAINE [16:42]: You have to get used to doing things alone.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> You mean your useless twink of a boyfriend can’t help?]

SEBASTIAN [16:43]: What about Kurt?

BLAINE [16:43]: Of course Kurt supports me!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Yeah, the exclamation point really sells it]

SEBASTIAN [16:44]: Okay so that’s one. What about his friends?

BLAINE [16:47]: I haven’t really hung out with them.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Your life sounds miserable.]

BLAINE [16:47]: Again, I’m the interloper. Even though I transferred schools ...

BLAINE [16:52]: Ignore me. I know I’m not being fair.

BLAINE [16:52]: Apparently, two years ago a guy did transfer from Carmel just to date the lead, Rachel, and try to sabotage her. So there is precedent.

SEBASTIAN [17:03]: That’s insane. Who transfers schools to do something like that?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And who leaves a better school for a shittier one?]

BLAINE [17:05]: Glee club gets really intense.

BLAINE [17:05]: You don’t read show choir blogs, do you?

SEBASTIAN [17:06]: I’ve read a few

SEBASTIAN [17:06]: I’m all about being informed about my enemies

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Am I your enemy?

> Are we your enemy?

> Who’s your enemy?]

BLAINE [17:08]: See, I don’t get that. Calling people enemies and cutthroat behavior like that. Isn’t it better to win honestly? That’s how you really know you’re the best.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> That’s naive

> You’re lucky you’re cute

> Gaaaaaaaaayy]

SEBASTIAN [17:09: People have different ways of judging what’s best, I suppose

BLAINE [17:10]: Yeah.

BLAINE [17:12]: Hey, if you read the blogs, have you read about this Jean Baptiste guy? He sounds crazy!

SEBASTIAN [17:12]: Oh, totally.

--

SEBASTIAN [6:58]: I just had a brainwave.

BLAINE [7:00]: ?

SEBASTIAN [7:01]: I just realized waffles are the fat American, pancakes are the limp Canadian, and crepes are the sexy French.

BLAINE [7:02]: This sounds suspiciously like a compliment to yourself.

SEBASTIAN [7:02]: Calling me sexy, Anderson?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> NO!

> Not like that!

> You know you’re good looking. Shut up.]

BLAINE [7:02]: That’s what I mean! It was a trap to benefit you!

BLAINE [7:03]: But I suppose it makes sense. Are the British crumpets then?

SEBASTIAN [7:03]: Definitely

SEBASTIAN [7:03]: Doughy and full of air…just like them

BLAINE [7:04]: That’s mean.

SEBASTIAN [7:04]: Yet I know you’re laughing

BLAINE [7:04]: I plead the 5th

SEBASTIAN [7:05]: Then let’s talk about my sexiness again

BLAINE [7:05]: Shut up

BLAINE [7:05]: Fine. I’m laughing.

BLAINE [7:05]: (string of smiling emojis)

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> God, you’re cute]

SEBASTIAN [7:06]: (thumbs up emojis)

SEBASTIAN [7:08]: Which reminds me: what happened to Mr Richardson’s thumb?

BLAINE [7:08]: Apparently it’s classified.

BLAINE [7:08]: But we had lots of theories

SEBASTIAN [7:09]: Tell me everything

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Thanks, by the way. I needed the pick-me-up.]

--

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: Texting during W meetings is strictly prohibited. I’m a rebel. I’m a saint. I’m salt of the earth and I’m dangerous.

BLAINE [15:01]: They’ll put you in Dalton Jail for that. Careful.

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: Haha

SEBASTIAN [15:01]: … Wait are you serious?

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Does Dalton have a jail?

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: It totally does, doesn’t it.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (winking emoji)]

BLAINE [15:03]: Wouldn’t you like to know

SEBASTIAN [15:04]: Evil, pal, that’s real evil …

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> So how go things with the wife?]

--

SEBASTIAN [20:12]: Hey? Do me a solid?

BLAINE [20:12]: What’s up?

SEBASTIAN [20:13]: My car’s in the shop, mind giving me a ride to Pittsburgh to pick it up? Can do it in the evening, I’ll just get a hotel room and get her in the morning.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I don’t know if that’s a good idea.]

BLAINE [20:16]: Sure, when?

SEBASTIAN [20:16]: Thanks. Friday?

BLAINE [20:21]: I can do that.

[UNSENT TEXT:

> What, no date night?]

BLAINE [20:21]: Why’s your car in Pittsburgh anyways?

SEBASTIAN [20:22]: I was there last week and it broke down. Dad dropped me back at school but he can’t drive me out there.

SEBASTIAN [20:22]: Too busy.

BLAINE [20:23]: I know how that goes.

BLAINE [20:23]: Well, it’s no problem.

BLAINE [20:23]: I hope you know I’ll be picking the music though.

SEBASTIAN [20:24]: That’s fine.

SEBASTIAN [20:25]: Hopefully I’ll get to hear a little of your singing along…

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I miss your voice]

BLAINE [20:25]: Of course.

BLAINE [20:25]: Who can listen to the radio and NOT sing along?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Me.]

SEBASTIAN [20:26]: Good question.

SEBASTIAN [20:26]: I look forward to it. A little Sebastian-and-Blaine roadtrip action.

SEBASTIAN [20:31]: I’ll be free after 3:30, so pick me up whenever after that.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s a date.]

BLAINE [20:32]: Okay, I should be there by 4/4:30.

BLAINE [20:32]: I’ll keep you updated.

SEBASTIAN [20:33]: Thanks again, tiger

--

BLAINE [22:21]: Got home safe!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> (smiling emojis)]

SEBASTIAN [22:24]: K

--

SEBASTIAN [10:23]: No accidents on this end either.

BLAINE [10:24]: Good to hear!

SEBASTIAN [10:31]: Though I’ll have you know Hungry Like The Wolf played on the radio at one point and I started laughing so hard I nearly veered off the road.

BLAINE [10:32]: I never should have told you that story!

SEBASTIAN [10:32]: Yeah…but boy am I glad you did!

BLAINE [10:33]: I blame it all on Cooper, for the record.

SEBASTIAN [10:34]: But it doesn’t erase the truth, does it? The horrible, kibble smoothie truth...

BLAINE [10:34]: Ignoring you!

SEBASTIAN [10:35]: (kiss blowing emoji)

--

BLAINE [13:03]: What’s so great about New York, anyways?

SEBASTIAN [13:11]: Art, culture, bagels?

BLAINE [13:12]: Okay. Sure.

BLAINE [13:12]: I’m just being dumb.

SEBASTIAN [13:12]: You don’t have to say that whenever you’re upset.

BLAINE [13:15]: ?

SEBASTIAN [13:15]: You know. Deflecting.

SEBASTIAN [13:15]: What’s up?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Kurt stuff?]

BLAINE [13:19]: Nothing.

BLAINE [13:29]: I miss Dalton.

BLAINE [13:30]: I like McKinley but

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s kind of lonely.

> Everything kind of smells like Pinesol.

> I hate NYADA.]

BLAINE [13:31]: Ugh.

BLAINE [13:32]: Sorry. I can’t just. Type stuff like this. I feel dumb looking at the words.

BLAINE [13:32]: I’m better at singing about it.

SEBASTIAN [13:32]: What about talking about it?

BLAINE [13:33]: … I’m better at singing about it.

SEBASTIAN [13:24]: You home?

BLAINE [13:24]: Yes

BLAINE [13:24]: Why?

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [18:12]: Thanks, Sebastian.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Dump your boyfriend]

SEBASTIAN [18:13]: No problem

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [8:11]: We’re friends, right?

SEBASTIAN [8:12]: Best of buddies.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I don’t want to be your fucking friend, though.

> Why do you only text me when you and Hummel aren’t updating your joint Pinterest wedding board?

> WHO THE FUCK HAS A JOINT PINTEREST WEDDING BOARD????????

> Your boyfriend looks like a turtle.

> Had a dream you were riding me. Care to make it a reality?

> Being pg-13 sucks.]

--

BLAINE [9:23]: Excited for Regionals?

SEBASTIAN [9:24]: Like you wouldn’t believe.

SEBASTIAN [9:24]: Should have stuck with the winning team, Anderson, cos McKinley’s gonna bite it.

BLAINE [9:25]: We’ll see about that!

BLAINE [9:25]: We have the homecourt advantage, you know. (winking emoji)

SEBASTIAN [9:26]: I’ve whipped the Warblers into fighting shape, though.

SEBASTIAN [9:26]: You won’t know what hit you.

BLAINE [9:27]: Right back atcha!

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I hate you.

> Do you know the mess you’ve made?!

> I hate you.]

--

SEBASTIAN [12:00]: Come to Dalton for rehearsal if you want to see Michael done well.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> And exactly what you’re missing out on.]

--

BLAINE [17:12]: Why are you doing this?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s not a big deal]

SEBASTIAN [18:23]: Like I said

SEBASTIAN [18:23]: I’m tired of playing nice

BLAINE [18:24]: I thought we were friends

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> We are

> That's so gay]

SEBASTIAN [18:25]: Truth time, Blaine

SEBASTIAN [18:27]: Friends don’t let friends waste away at some ass-backward public school in Armpit, Ohio with an ungrateful bunch of hypocritical special ed losers who don’t recognize your talent, dating an an ugly guy who looks like he should be on a milk carton because he climbed into someone’s candy van, who definitely doesn’t put it to you the way you deserve.

SEBASTIAN [18:27]: You’ll thank me for this.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Fuck you.]

BLAINE [18:31]: Kurt was right about you.

SEBASTIAN [18:31]: Like I care what he thinks

BLAINE [18:31]: Or what I think?

BLAINE [19:02]: Fine, whatever.

BLAINE [19:02]: We’re going to settle this the old-fashioned way.

BLAINE [19:02]: Two clubs enter, one club leaves with the rights to Michael.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> What the fuck are you talking about?]

SEBASTIAN [19:04]: Sounds fun.

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

CONTACT BLOCKED: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

--

iii.

--

NICK [8:12]: First off, this is Sebastian. Don’t want you accusing me of subterfuge. You just happen to have me blocked everywhere so I went to an alternate avenue.

This is an official invitation to you, Kurt, and Santana to meet me at the Lima Bean tomorrow after school. It’s an offer of peace, before you get worried. We heard about Dave Karofsky over here too and it’s made me reconsider things. We need to talk.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Please.]

BLAINE [15:57]: Not that you deserve it, but. Fine.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m sorry.]

--

CONTACT UNBLOCKED: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

--

BLAINE [7:23]: I saw that you guys raised a lot of money for Dave. Congratulations.

SEBASTIAN [7:24]: Thanks, Blaine.

--

iv.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> How are you?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I miss you.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Made a kid cry today. Clearly still getting a hang of this nice guy stuff.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> When did you give Kurt a complex about working at The Lima Bean?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> How did Paris get boring?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I wish we were still friends.

> I still get mad sometimes.

> Why did the Warblers help you?]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’ve got a book recommendation for you. You’d like it. Lots of sappy speeches.]

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Why did I come here?]

--

UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m starting to feel like a pussy.]

--

SEBASTIAN [16:23]: College applications are boring.

BLAINE [18:53]: The performing bit intimidates me.

BLAINE [18:53]: Hi, by the way. How was your summer?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> NYADA applications?]

SEBASTIAN [18:54]: Please, you’re a born performer.

SEBASTIAN [18:54]: Fine. Sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll. The usual. Yours?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Thank you.]

BLAINE [18:55]: It was nice. I did my theme park circuit mostly, and hung out with Kurt. He’s in New York now though with Rachel.

BLAINE [18:55]: And I’m the new Rachel of glee club.

SEBASTIAN [18:56]: What the hell does that mean?

BLAINE [18:56]: Honestly? I’m not totally sure.

BLAINE [18:56]: But it’s very prestigious.

SEBASTIAN [18:57]: Then congratulations on becoming Rachel. Dating Finn Hudson next on your agenda?

BLAINE [18:57]: No.

BLAINE [18:57]: I’m dating Kurt, and Finn’s off in the Army, anyways.

SEBASTIAN [18:58]: Really?

SEBASTIAN [18:59]: Never know where anyone’s going to end up…

BLAINE [18:59]: Yeah

BLAINE [18:59]: Sorry, gtg. Skype date with Kurt.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Hah say ‘hi’ for me

> So you’re really doing the long distance thing? Have fun with that.]

SEBASTIAN [19:00]: Have fun with that.

--

SEBASTIAN [13:02]: You free?

BLAINE [13:02]: Sorry, school president work to do! Ttyl!

--

BLAINE [19:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [19:12]: Hey

SEBASTIAN [19:12]: What’s up?

BLAINE [19:13]: Nothing much.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Can’t believe I’m about to ask this but I am trying this whole nice guy thing so, aren’t you supposed to be Skyping Hummel right now? Or are you skipping out on undoubtedly awkward cybersex for once?]

SEBASTIAN [19:14]: Isn’t this your Skype date time?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s supposed to be.

> Apparently, but I’m the only one who remembers.

> No, it’s not.]

BLAINE [19:14]: Oh yeah! Shoot, sorry, bye Sebastian! Ttyl!

SEBASTIAN [19:15]: Right.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Even looking at your name I know this is a bad idea. I could always talk to you but that’s just because you said what I wanted to hear, didn’t you? But I’m just stupid Blaine and I don’t notice these things. Did you really change? Can people change? Can your boyfriend just go away and become a different person? Am I the one who changed? Blah blah blah. I need a diary.

> I miss Kurt.

> I wish we could talk.

> Technology sucks.]

--

SEBASTIAN [15:21]: Military school kids are the worst. I’m going to yank the stick out of this guy’s ass and beat him with it.

SEBASTIAN [8:25]: He’s kind of hot though, in a douchebag way.

SEBASTIAN [17:12]: This is when you chime in that I would know what that looks like, you know.

SEBASTIAN [17:13]: What’s the point of setting something up if you don’t take the swing? Jeez.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I just did something really stupid.]

--

CANCELLED CALL: TO SEBASTIAN SMYTHE.

--

SEBASTIAN [23:42]: You called me? What’s up?

BLAINE: Sorry. Butt dial.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Talking about your butt to me is just mean.]

SEBASTIAN [23:42]: Careful with that, buddy.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Seriously?!?!]

--

BLAINE [14:21]: You never do change, do you?

SEBASTIAN [14:53]: Maybe some people just don’t.

--

INCOMING CALL: SEBASTIAN SMYTHE

ACCEPT / [DECLINE]

--

SEBASTIAN [12:24]: Are we forgiven now that we’re probably never competing again?

SEBASTIAN [12:24]: I know we deserved that but it’s retirement home serenades from now on.

SEBASTIAN [12:34]: At least Hunter is gone.

BLAINE [12:34]: I’m sorry, how do you have the time to text when you should be out there cheating? Run out of steroids to inject?

SEBASTIAN [12:35]: Ouch.

SEBASTIAN [12:35]: You know, I’d never do anything to risk my junk, and I definitely don’t need drugs to keep up.

BLAINE [12:36]: But you didn’t stop it, did you?

SEBASTIAN [12:37]: Jesus. No, I didn’t. And I’m sorry.

SEBASTIAN [12:38]: But I totally lost my authority and I didn’t feel like being a narc.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> As Justin Timberlake would say, cry me a river.

> I'm sorry. I shouldn’t be so hard on you. I know the kind of stupid stuff people pull when they’re desperate.

> Do you really think Hunter’s hot?]

SEBASTIAN [12:45]: I’m glad you did it though. Someone needed to.

BLAINE [12:45]: Yeah. Right.

BLAINE [12:47]: You’re welcome.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> According to Facebook, you’re no longer single. Bummer.

> Serious question: did I ever have a chance?

> Blaine, don’t hate me for this, but he really doesn’t deserve you.

> Wish you never unblocked me.]

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

BLAINE [15:31]: Okay so you timed it, right? He can get from the entrance to the stairs in that time?

SEBASTIAN [15:32]: Relax, Blaine

SEBASTIAN [15:32]: He definitely can, with time left to spare

BLAINE [15:32]: You timed it?

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Can you pay me if you’re going to pull this nervous bride routine? Yes, I did.]

SEBASTIAN [15:33]: Yes, Blaine.

SEBASTIAN [15:34]: I now hate All You Need is Love with a passion from singing it so many times, but I timed it myself, with a few ‘stop and stare at the spectacle’ pauses. I even factored in a possible delay if Sam tries dancing and trips. Which is your job to prevent, btw

BLAINE [15:35]: Thanks, Sebastian.

BLAINE [15:35]: You’ve been amazing.

BLAINE [15:35]: You’re a choreography genius, you know that?

BLAINE [15:41]: But nobody can hate the Beatles ever. That’s a fact.

SEBASTIAN [15:41]: Agree to disagree.

SEBASTIAN [15:41]: But thanks.

BLAINE [15:42]: Oh come on, you have to have a favorite Beatles song, everyone does!

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> It’s camp but my mom always liked to sing All Your Need is Love so. That used to be it. Emphasis on used to be.]

SEBASTIAN [15:43]: I Saw Her Standing There.

BLAINE [15:44]: I love that one! Good taste.

SEBASTIAN [15:44]: I’ve been known to have that, yes

SEBASTIAN [15:44]: You?

BLAINE [15:45]: Blackbird. Back at Dalton, after Pavarotti died, Kurt sang a beautiful rendition of that and it was my moment about him. Hence the Beatles now.

BLAINE [15:56]: I told that story already, didn’t I?

SEBASTIAN [16:02]: Yeah, you did.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> About five hundred fucking times]

SEBASTIAN [16:03]: It’s a good song

SEBASTIAN [16:04]: That bird ritual was bizarre. I just paid some freshman to babysit mine for me. I wouldn’t have noticed if it dropped dead

BLAINE [16:05]: But it’s tradition!

SEBASTIAN [16:05]: I don’t like to do things just because someone says I should

BLAINE [16:06]: Well, that’s true. You move to the beat of your own drum.

SEBASTIAN [16:06]: I try.

BLAINE [16:07]: I like it, by the way, that wasn’t an insult!

SEBASTIAN [16:08]: Didn’t think it was

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Quick question, are we friends again?]

SEBASTIAN [16:09]: Well, I gotta go. Dance steps to plan, other glee club heads to yell at. You know how it is. Bye.

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> Sebastian …]

BLAINE [16:10]: Bye!

--

BLAINE [23:19]: Thank you again for your help, Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN [23:20]: You’re welcome.

SEBASTIAN [23:22]: Have a good life, Blaine.

--

v.

--

[UNSENT TEXTS:

> I’m single now, you know.]

--

BLAINE [14:09]: Sebastian, I have a question. And I want you to answer honestly.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: Well, hello to you too.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: I don’t even get a ‘sup’? It’s only been god knows how long since I last even heard from you.

SEBASTIAN [14:15]: Rude, rude boy…

BLAINE [14:16]: Okay, jeez, I’m sorry.

BLAINE [14:16]: Hi, Sebastian, how are you?

SEBASTIAN [14:16]: Swell.

SEBASTIAN [14:17]: Now what’s this question? If it’s about whether red makes your ass look big, the answer is yes, but it’s a good thing.

BLAINE [14:18]: That is definitely not my question.

BLAINE [14:18]: It’s about me and Kurt.

SEBASTIAN [14:18]: Okay…

BLAINE [14:19]: When you helped with the proposal, did you think we would work out?

SEBASTIAN [14:20]: Dear god

SEBASTIAN [14:20]: Is this a trick question?

BLAINE [14:21]: No. Honesty, please.

SEBASTIAN [14:22]: Fine. You asked for it.

SEBASTIAN [14:23]: The answer is ‘no’ but I also figured you would keep trying. In an ‘insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results’ kind of way. But you don’t have to listen to me. I was always a jerk about you two.

SEBASTIAN [14:56]: Too much?

BLAINE [14:57]: …

BLAINE [14:57]: No, that’s fair.

BLAINE [14:58]: Did you know Dalton coffee hasn’t changed? It’s great.

SEBASTIAN [14:58]. Okay, random

SEBASTIAN [14:58]: I thought you preferred the Bean

BLAINE [14:59]: Well, yeah.

BLAINE [15:00]: But Dalton has that special something.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: I don’t even remember what it tastes like, honestly.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Wait.

SEBASTIAN [15:02]: Why are you at Dalton?

SEBASTIAN [15:03]: Did I miss a reunion? I thought I had at least a decade before I got dragged into one of those.

BLAINE [15:04]: No.

BLAINE [15:04]: I’m the faculty advisor for the Warblers right now.

SEBASTIAN [15:04]: Uh did you graduate early or something?

BLAINE [15:05]: No. I dropped out, actually. So. Back home I went.

SEBASTIAN [15:07]: Oh boy

SEBASTIAN [15:07]: Suddenly I understand why you were asking about the proposal. I take it you’re single once more?

BLAINE [15:07]: Yeah. For a little while now.

BLAINE [15:07]: I’m surprised you didn’t know. You used to always be on my page.

SEBASTIAN [15:08]: Hey. People change.

BLAINE [15:08]: That’s true.

SEBASTIAN [15:09]: So what happened? Get into a fight over who was allowed to wear trillbys? Death match over bowties? Did he find out you used to jerk off to me in high school?

BLAINE [15:11]: Who says I did that??

SEBASTIAN [15:12]: Please, Blaine. We’re grownups now. You can be honest.

BLAINE [15:13]: I plead the fifth

SEBASTIAN [15:13]: Yeah, that’s what I thought

SEBASTIAN [15:14]: Seriously though. You okay? Do you want to talk about it?

BLAINE [15:14]: It’s a long and frankly miserable story.

SEBASTIAN [15:15]: I got all day and a lack of empathy, you know that. Fire away

BLAINE [15:17]: Hah…some things don’t change, do they?

BLAINE [15:17]: I think that’s exactly what you said on our little roadtrip when you got me to talk about some of my more embarrassing memories involving Cooper and Duran Duran.

SEBASTIAN [15:18]: It works like a charm, what can I say?

BLAINE [15:19]: It does. But for the record, you’re easy to talk to because you listen, not because you don’t care.

SEBASTIAN [15:20]: Stop, you’ll make me blush.

BLAINE [15:20]: Trust me, it's true.

SEBASTIAN [15:20]: I believe you. Now stop deflecting and talk.

BLAINE [15:21]: Okay.

BLAINE [15:21]: Actually, where are you? Can I call you?

SEBASTIAN [15:21]: Between classes. Go ahead.

BLAINE [15:22]: Thanks, Sebastian.

--

INCOMING CALL: BLAINE ANDERSON

[ACCEPT] / DECLINE

--

[END]

[thorne93]

Who Will Win? (Part 4)

Prompt: Jefferson (Once Upon A Time) sees you on the sidewalk one day, his “dead” wife.

Word Count: 2150

Warning: Threats, language, angst, sadness, sick parent

Notes: This will span from season 1 through 5, if you don’t want spoilers, maybe don’t read this, haha. Also, the reader’s Storybrooke name is Alice. Beta’d by the amazeballs @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and badgered @amarvelouswritings Thank you both! Could never get this done without you!

Tags:  @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise19982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld@nedthegay

Sebastian Stan Tags: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock

Who Will Win Tags: @mrs-lancelot @elivanah @ultrarebelheart @learisa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end of the week finally came. You didn’t work Sundays, it was your only day off. But you were happy for it. Jefferson had treated you like a queen this entire week. He drove you anywhere and everywhere, but you tried to keep it to just to and from work. He brought you lunch every day, and took you out to dinner every night. He was like a saint. You two always found something to talk about and he was an amazing person to vent to because he turned irritating situations into hilarious ones.

Truth be told, you were a little sad that you couldn’t have an excuse to see him today but you weren’t going to push your luck and his generosity. You paid him for the gas, but spending 6 days together after just meeting might’ve gotten on his nerves.

You decided to take the day and make it about you, since you had one of the most stressful weeks of your life. You started to take a shower, but the water never got hot, not even close. It was ice cold.

“What in the world?”

You went down to inspect your water heater and it appeared to be broken. You called a plumber and when he got there he was the bearer of even more bad news.

“Well, not only is your water heater busted, your pipes up throughout the house aren’t up to codes.”

“What? How is that possible?”

“I’m not sure. We’ll have to strip out some wood, replace a few of these pipes, and replace the water heater.”

You stifled a groan. “And how long will that take?”

“Well my guys won’t be available until Thursday. It’ll take the whole crew and a few more days after that.”

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

“Well, with this stuff broken, you got cold showers and cold dishwashing.”

“For five days?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Okay...Well thanks. Yeah if you could come out Thursday, that would be great…”

The plumber left and Jefferson called you.

“Good morning, Alice,” he greeted in that same sexy, cheery tone.

“Hey,” you responded in a discouraged tone.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding so sincere it made your heart ache.

“My water heater is broken and they can’t fix it until Thursday and even then it’s going to take some time to fix.” You sighed with a bit of a groan. “Why does all of this happen to me?”

“I’m sorry. If you want, you could stay with me for a while. I have a huge house and lots of spare rooms…”

You laughed lightly. “Uh...I don’t know…”

“I know we don’t know each other very well, but I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman. You need somewhere with hot water, I would like the company. It’s a win-win. What do you say?”

“Well, I have a dog, would it be okay to bring her?”

“Bring 100 dogs if you wish,” he said jovially.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. It’s no trouble at all.”

“Ever the saint, Jefferson,” you remarked, a bit of adoration tracing in your tone.

“I’ll be by in an hour to pick you up. Pack whatever you need, alright?”

“Okay. Thank you so much.”

“As always, it’s my pleasure.”

You hung up and raced around to grab your makeup, clothing, curling iron, and the dog food for Rabbit. You called her Rabbit because as a puppy she bounced around so much, and she was all white.

Jefferson came up and helped you with your suitcases and Rabbit happily jumped in his car.

“I hope she’s okay to be in your car,” you noted, worried about her nails on the leather.

“It’s just a car. It’s fine.”

“Thanks again.”

You two drove off toward his mansion and as soon as you got there, Rabbit bolted for the back door to go outside in the fenced in yard.

“Feel free to go shower and I’ll get started on lunch, okay?” Jefferson lightly instructed.

Something had been eating at you since you met Jefferson, and you didn’t want to ask it, but for some reason, now you felt like you had to.

“You’re being so good to me, why?” you wondered. You usually never got this sort of kindness no matter how much you doled it out yourself.

He seemed to be taken off guard by the question. He went from a small smile to a much wider one and a laugh.

“Uh, what do you mean, Alice?” he asked. And you could almost hear the lie in it. He knew why he was doing this, but he was pretending not to...Why?

“I mean, you’re going way out of your way to help me. Why? Most people might just give me a few bucks to help for the car and the house. You’re giving me everything. Food, a house, a car…”

“I’m just helping out a friend,” he said simply. “I’d hope if I was in your situation someone would do the same for me.”

“I don’t think people are quite as kind as you.”

“You are,” he breathed and the air became electrified again between you two, even though you were several feet apart. There was almost this physical desire to move toward him, but you stayed planted for a few more moments.

“Well, uh...You go shower and I’ll make lunch,” Jefferson echoed the command from earlier.

“Alright.”

You showered and met him downstair, the shower feeling amazing as it seemed to wash away your stress and fears.

“I have some scraps, if it’s okay, I’d like to give them to Rabbit,” Jefferson said.

“Sure. She loves human food,” you said as you looked at your white companion. She looked back at you with such adoration, you wondered how it was possible these wonderful things could exist.

You two sat down to lunch and Jefferson said, “So what are you going to do?”

You looked around, confused for a second. “I’m sorry?”

“About your house, your car, your dad…?”

“Oh...right. Well, I’ll just have to wait on the house. I’m hoping my car is finished in the next couple of days...As far as Dad…” You sighed and shrugged, picking around your food. “I don’t know…”

You went into all the pros and cons of amputation and non amputation, no option sounded better than the other.

“I’m leaving it up to him though,” you said as a final decision.

“Why is that?”

“He’s coherent. It’s his legs. If I was in his situation, I wouldn’t want anyone making that decision for me. I mean, if we amputate and...and something happens, I’ll blame myself. And if we don’t, and the sores get infected and go to his heart...I’ll blame myself. If I leave it up to him, there’s no choice I have but to support his decision, and pray it’s the right one.”

“And you’re okay with that?” he questioned as he took a bite of food.

“Well...Yeah. I mean, they wanted to give him a different heart. You know, a heart transplant? My mom left it up to my dad. He ultimately said ‘I don’t want to get a heart transplant, because what if I get the heart of someone who doesn’t like kids?’ And...here he is, several years later, using his own heart. I think he makes the right decisions when it comes to his body.”

“He seems very wise.”

“He is. He’s strong, wise, knowledgeable, loving…He’s the greatest man I know. He was such a hard worker. He’s funny…” You sighed.

Jefferson leaned over and grabbed your hand. “Hey, he can make it through. If he’s done all that you said he has, he can make it.”

“Thank you, Jefferson. You’re so sweet.”

A kind smile played on his dark and pale features, making your heart flutter.

After lunch, you said you would get settled into your room, and Jefferson showed you where it was at. He brought up your suitcases and showed you to a beautiful room, where he dropped off the suitcases as you stood in the door frame.

“What’s mine is yours. I mean it. You need towels, blankets, washcloths, anything, just let me know. If you have a favorite snack or drink, I can go get them…” he offered as he stood in your room.

“I think I’ll be fine, Jefferson, but thank you, so much, for everything.”

“My pleasure,” he said as he started to head out of the room. “I’ll let you get settled in,” he said as he stood right across from you in the doorframe, only a few inches of space separating you two, that same tension clicked to life as soon as he was in front of you.

“I---uh--yeah,” you said, stammering out some sort of response. Whenever you made direct eye contact with him, you were reduced to a bumbling idiot.

He seemed like he wanted to say or do something but instead, he clenched his fist and jaw and just spun and left the room, leaving you speechless, and finally able to breathe. You hadn’t realized you’d been holding your breath.

--------------------------

The week seemed to fly by. Your car was ready, which was helpful, so you drove on your own to and from work, but the house was still being worked on. You told Jefferson you would cook for him tonight to repay the favor of letting you basically move in.

Having Jefferson to come home to after a long day of bitchy customers was so perfect. He was quickly becoming someone you wanted to be with. You two enjoyed reading quietly together, walking Rabbit together, making dinner for each other, and having breakfast together.  

So you two were at the grocery, picking up items. You grabbed red potatoes, meat, sauces. You were going to make this a banquet he wouldn’t forget.  

You two got back home and he put on some soft, classical music and you began to work in the kitchen while he cleaned up the dining room and living room. You got done with the meal and brought it out to a beautifully decorated table, and you two sat down to share an amazing meal as conversation seemed to flow easily between you two. Once you were done, you cleaned up the plates and grabbed two glasses of wine and sat on his couch.

“You’re so...beautiful,” Jefferson said as he put his hand on his cheek.

You blushed, playing with your wine glass.

“Thank you, Jefferson. You’re quite the sight for sore eyes yourself.”

“I do try to keep my appearance up,” he noted, gesturing to himself.

You laughed lightly and he seemed to watch you with so much adoration you weren’t sure where it was coming from. You’d only known each other a few weeks.

“It’s been so wonderful living here,” you noted. “I wish I could live here all the time. It’s so big, beautiful, so secluded...I love it.”

“You could stay, you know. I wouldn’t mind,” he said gently.

“Oh, no, I couldn’t...I couldn’t do that,” you said sheepishly, not thinking he would actually take you up on the offer.

“Are you sure? I really wouldn’t mind. LIke I’ve said, I get lonely here. The company would be much appreciated.”

“I know. Me too...but I have a house and I can’t live with a guy I practically just met,” you noted. A look of hurt lashed across his face and you reached towards him, after putting your wine on the coffee table. “No, Jefferson, I don’t mean anything by it. I care for you a great deal and I appreciate all you’re doing for me, I’m just...as much as I would like to, that might be moving too fast, you know?” you said, shrugging.

“No, I understand,” he said simply. “Alice, I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want to…”

“Thank you, Jefferson,” you sweetly said, hour hand still on his hand. You two looked down at your hand but you didn’t remove it. His eyes flashed up to yours as you both began moving closer to each other, your faces closing the gap between you two.

“Is this moving too fast?” he whispered, his eyes casting down to yours.

“No,” you breathed back in response. And finally your lips touched. You thought it would be a sweet kiss with as slowly as you were moving, but the instant they made contact, there was a fiery heat behind them. You kissed him hard and bit his lip, your hand searching for his dark locks as his tongue found yours. His hands skimmed your sides as he lifted you and put you on his lap, where you were straddling him.

After a few moments of that, you broke free, foreheads resting against each other.

“Now,” he started, out of breath, “do you remember?”

[podcastmecaptain]

ars PLACEMENT: helen

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today’s, @podcastmecaptain especially. 

click here for the au masterpost | track _#ars placement_ for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

helen is grace incarnate.

she is human. but if god was a human, this is what she’d be.

helen is very confident in everything about herself

very aware of how she’s viewed and doesn’t act like she cares but she’ll definitely bring it up to you

probably takes a little bit more of it than she should because she has the grace of saint sebastian

and then she BITES BACK AND IT WILL SLAUGHTER YOU BECAUSE SHE WILL DO IT WITH THE VENGEANCE AND CASUALNESS OF HERA

“phenomenal woman-

that’s me.”

helen figured it out pretty early

she was one of those rare kids who transitioned really young and got a lot of support

she started hormone blockers around twelve but she was pretty much “I am a princess now.” around eight

helen’s parents are like “k so we ended up with divinity for a child, so"

HELEN’S PARENTS ADORE HER

(they pay for her transition because they’re good parents who don’t make their child pay for medical procedures)

(she supplements it with her gigs tho)

she used to be in the children’s sunday choir and the only thing she’s sad about is having to leave that group but she found a KID’S JAZZ GROUP

she still volunteers there on the weekends

she doesn’t have much of an interest in teaching in her future but she does like guiding the kids from the sidelines and demonstrating pitch and posture for them

the only time anthony’s workaholic ass has ever thought about children is when watching her with them and he gets super embarrassed about it and never brings it up

speaking of she has perfect queen’s posture and anthony slumps out of habit of bending over his notes in coffee shops and she’s always doing that thing where she pokes a knuckle into the middle of his shoulder blades to get him to jolt up straight, it’s practically a greeting at this point

helen, out of habit or affirmation, not because she thinks her parents doubt her

says “still a girl!” every time she blows her candles out on her birthday

everyone present whoops happily

on her SEVENTEENTH

YOU BET YOUR ASS SHE GIVES A KARAOKE ABBA PERFORMANCE

SHE IS THE DANCING QUEEN

YOUNG AND SWEET

ONLY SEVENTEEN

OH YEAAAH

on her eighteenth though she stands up after the candles

and announces triumphantly

“today!

I am a WOMAN!”

the resounding cheer rattles the windowpanes.

helen figures out the poly thing the latest

she is with both anthony and, of all people, and of course, june barlow

helen’s got love in spades to give

anthony, his story is further down

now, june

helen and june sip lemon spritzers by fountains and judge passerby together but helen is much more sweet about it and june is just like “look at that hunty with the denim on denim and the ‘may i speak to the manager’ haircut screeching like some kinda bug into her fucking samsung ugH”

then they talk about how men are pigs and how the IMF has failed the world

because those girlfriends are viciously anti capitalist/anti war

they hold hands while talking about dreams for the world

and also hold hands while talking about crushing those who wrong them under their heels

june is a ball of sparks and red eyes

and helen can understand a bit of this

helen is sweet and elegant and so  kind that she’ll give you more patience than you deserve

but she’s also passionately righteous. and not in the surfer dude way. the moral code of a damn justice fury.

helen has a lot of Greece in her, its in the name and in her being

if she realizes something is wrong there will be hell to pay.

helen is something else.

she is gentle and she doesn’t stop until she’s content, she won’t SIT DOWN and let someone else be responsible for the world she sees

if she wants something CHANGED she gets up and won’t be subdued until she has reached the culmination at all costs, no matter how long it takes. she doesn’t let go of something she disagrees with, won’t leave something she doesn’t like

helen is elegance but she is also a goddamn rottweiler? she will clamp her jaws on what she sees as wrong or even just disquieting and won’t let go until it’s collapsed enough that she can destroy it or fix it

and the thing is june changes that. june, angry bitter snarling june, not through sweetness or a delicate hand but through just being her, lets her accept that. okay. this is flawed. but i’m FINE with it. all things are flawed. you can let life be human, work to change it, don’t let go of your passion for compassion, but expand that compassion to include “this can breathe”

june is DEEPLY flawed. no shit. but she’s working on it constantly. she won’t change herself, she crosses line without a lot of regard, and she matches helen in having no lenience. but her response is immediate and harsh.

she lets herself have love, for quentin, for helen, for herself, to get excited and get passionate and know that EVERYTHING has something wrong with it, and you can CHANGE that but you will wind up making mistakes while you change it

and you can’t accept other’s flaws without acknowledging your own

(this logic adds to the strange, begrudging half friendship anthony and june will neither admit exists)

so helen and her can see what happens with this, in each other, and reflect on it. they both respond well to the other and work together in when to bare their teeth and why, but they can relax with someone else on their side.

and see what they need to change in themselves as much as the world, and be okay with that

sometimes they talk about the colors they find in people

in helen, june finds soft sage, warm rich brown

helen sees magenta in june, and faint traces of yellow (or teal? or royal blue?) its debatable, what the end result is, but whatever it is,

she burns bright.

and that is june to helen.

helen did some casual exploratory stuff the early years, late middle school, freshman-sophomore year

she gets her shit together pretty quick and then a like OK noW i can be more serious about it instead of poking, not that it meant nothing but now i know what i’m about and can do it responsibly

because she’s not sciencey but she’s sure as hell sharp in matters of the heart

she considered becoming a social worker at one point but she knows she has a problem with taking on project problem people when it’s not her job and she doesn’t want that to BE her job, because she knows she’d wind up on tough cases, and her passion is music and song anyway

that was more of a “hey your counselor thinks you should logically check this path”

but she realizes people don’t seem to realize that seemingly further reaching dreams are work too, and often take more dedication and spirit and responsibility than settling for what people THINK you should do for money, even though she certainly thinks higher of that work than that, she knows why she was recommended it and she knows what she wants

helen knows the importance of dreams. of that you shouldn’t have to be settling for less.

sometimes she does. but no one can achieve the level helen OWNS. let’s be realistic.

her hands are soft and loving but her nails are short and a little sharp

(anthony paints them for her)

(mostly metallics)

(occasionally little smudgey flowers)

helen doesn’t cry a lot but lets herself cry over things that matter. a lot of things matter, but she’s very good at sorting out what she doesn’t want to fret over

it’s a healthy cry, for all emotions

helen gets emotional about events but cries mostly over people

good people, people important to her

specifically

her parents

josephine baker

martha p. johnson

sylvia rivera

ella fitzgerald

maya angelou

her anthony and her june

she laughs it off a little bit afterward

for all that she is shaky and sentimental when she’s done

cupping porcelain mugs of hot tea in her hands and blinking slowly up at the posters on her wall, the chiffon drapes blowing a little over her bed and brushing against her

she washes her face and moves around her room, dancing a little bit until the faces of her heroes on the walls blur with motion instead of water

and overall feels better when she’s done

ok so helen actually first seriously dates a girl, its the first two serious times actually. they both meet her parents. the first goes off to boarding school and they tried to keep it up in letters, but the longer they wrote to each other the more they realized the other had very different opinions and like. helen just stopped replying. the second one was the person she lost her virginity to, they met at band camp. they’re still friends, but agreed that’s how they were better off.

helen describes herself as “loosely bi”, meaning she isn’t a big label girl for THAT aspect of herself but if she had to tap it with a moniker that would be it.

she meets anthony very similarly to how she met him on canon because THAT CANNOT GET BETTER

so she’s gotten a job at a place called the Soft Note

which is one of the only two close by queer bars

this one is the less club one. this is more wine and sashimi sushi and hipster brick walls

she sees someone in the back a Lot

which is weird

because he’s got a cheap laptop and notes and what looks like… a screwdriver and a circuit? one of those little box things with all the oddly gendered ports and wires

which is also weird because this is a bar where old queens hustle round and chatter about this new-fangled ellen and whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears and toast to those lost to the aids crisis

otherwise her parents wouldn’t let her play that venue

so it never found good wifi or convenient outlets to be a. necessity.

or. checking for ids on young boys who don’t order alcohol and peek out from the booth at her and Oh. this kid’s spectacles just slipped down his nose and he has eyelashes off the wazoo.

so she says okay bill nye jr. i’m gonna test a hypothesis.

she looks him dead in the eye for the WHOLE of What A Wonderful World.

the timbre of her voice never falters, soaking into the dark wood paneling on the bar and skipping across the bottles on the wall

she is, for lack of better words, magnificent

she tries to go over afterward but a bunch of old queens stop her trying to compliment her in the Olde Gayest way

and by the time she’s hugged every one of them and has a bra now stuffed with Old Gay’s cash instead of tissue

he’s got a worried bouncer hovering over him asking to call his parents because he’s crying quietly

AND SHE LIKE FREEZES AND JUST KINDA

BREathes in, out, waves the bouncer off politely and

tips anthony’s chin up with two fingers

and she just looks so concerned for him

and he just doesn’t know what to say

BECAUSE WHO FUCKING WOULD

so he doesn’t say anything, he just swallows and sits up

anthony gets the deer in the headlights moment where he is. in awe

(SHESTOUCHINGMESHESTOUCHINGMESHESTOUCHINGMESHES)

and she just kinda sits on the counter and says “Hey there. I didn’t mean to sc- intimidate you or the like. ”

anthony: ….

helen: yeah okay that probably was a guarantee wasn’t it.

she taps his chin up again till his mouth closes and eyes him over, tilts his computer screen back, checking the non existing wifi, notes the two words and a couple of slight key smashes in his document, looks at his drink, sniffs it- “boy, is this apple juice?”

anthony:

anthony:

she steals his apple juice and sits on the counter, nursing it

“oh. damn, damn. nice nails.” he’s got glittery tarot cards on them.

snaps out of it slightly, looks down, proceeds to slowly wipe his cheeks and sit on his hands.

“…hey. i didn’t break you did i?”

nothin.

gives him back the drink

he kinda unconsciously slots his lips over where the lipstick is on the glass.

“so. you like jazz or just me.”

he chokes.

there is no more eye contact. she has an answer. she is smiling. he gathers his notes, nods to her jerkily, SCUTTLES OUT.

“See you tomorrow!” she calls after him. doesn’t yell cause she’s a lady. he trips anyway.

minute the bar door swings shut, the old queens start CACKLING. she throws a napkin at them and calls them mean, and looks into getting a business card so she can kiss it with her lipstick and slot it into his keyboard next time. it’ll be three weeks before he can look her in the eye.

[igsy-blog]

BBC 100 books (with commentary)

thanks for the tag @thegreatorangedragon  As an English major I was compelled to read a lot of these, and I may only have skimmed/read chunks of some of them if I could get away with it....

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen: not my favorite Austen, actually (Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility are 1 & 2) The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien - OMG, SO many times. My siblings and I had rituals around the reading of LOTR.

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte.  Yes - it’s OK Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - Yes!  My kids grew up to them and the experience was almost as good as the books.  But I also really enjoyed watching Rowling mature as a writer over the course of the series.  I don’t ask for perfection from my writers, but warmth and growth.  :-)  Also, they got my stubborn non-reader sons to READ. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee  - like probably every other person who went to MS/HS in the US. The Bible - yes, and twice all the way through.  once at about 10, and then more recently along with Slate’s Blogging the Bible (ok it was just the Old Testament).  That was a stage on my journey to my current fallen-catholicness 
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte - yes, but prefer the Pat Benatar song :D Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell - yes and really need a re-read 
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman - No, keep meaning to. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
.  Yes, and can I say I love Dickens - LOVE Dickens - but I hate this book.  I think it’s always assigned because it’s shortish.  I regularly reread the glorious messes that are Pickwick Papers, Bleak House, A Tale of Two Cities, and my fav, the insane Our Mutual Friend (but ONLY the Lizzie Hexam/Eugene Wrayburn segments). Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - and the sequels.  I think Jo’s Boys might actually be my favorite. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
.  yes - I am pretty sure??? Catch 22 - Joseph Heller.  read enough of it to count Complete Works of Shakespeare - William Shakespeare; yes! my mom was a Zefferelli Romeo & Juliet junkie - we had the album of the film - and I must have heard it 3 dozen times before I was 7.  She bought a complete works and I read all of it over the years. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier. No 
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien - Yes.  My husband’s favorite book.  And I really liked the Rankin-Bass film, when I was young.  Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk  No Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - yeah The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger  Realllly?  This is a good book but I’m not sure it belongs on this list.  First novel and feels fresh out of an MFA program.  My other complaints I won’t say here because I tend to get very snarky about this book. (Another book I read around the same time [mid-oughts] was Then We Came to the End, the debut novel of Joshua Ferris - much better, like DeLillo without the air of self-importance.) Middlemarch - George Eliot; love me some Eliot (but prefer Silas Marner, mainly because of a very good tv adaption). Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell - Again: really?  I read this book because I spent the summer between HS and college in a really small town with a teeny library and I basically read my way through the fiction stacks.  Won’t say more than that, because I would get political. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald Yes, but not a favorite. Bleak House - Charles Dickens. A great, great book for which two amazing miniseries have been done in my lifetime.  But rightly criticized, IMO, for the annoying tone of its first-person narrator, Esther.  Dickens was dazzlingly, spectacularly wrong in writing about women.  Not to mention other groups.  But my god did he skewer institutions on behalf of the (British) poor - none better. This book wins for the Jo’s death scene and its sweeping, bitter, critique of church and state and society and everything - and so human.  “Dead!  And dying thus around us, everyday.”  I was 12 when I first read that, recovering from chicken pox, and I sat straight up in bed.  This is the book that made me a socialist. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy This is so horrible, but I haven’t! The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams.  Yes, fun, but not a favorite. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh - No.  I started to and have a copy at work, for some reason I don’t even remember.  But not enough to county Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky  No :( Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck.  Yes, oh and my grandma’s family were Okies.  Everyone in my family has a copy of the Sacramento Bee front page story sneering about the dust bowl immigrants arriving in town and my great-grandmother is mentioned by name (though they mistakenly think she is her widowed father’s wife).  I love Cali, and Sactown, but we have a long history of being not-so-welcoming to everyone at certain times (was it in the 80s where the “Welcome to California, Now Go Home” bumper stickers were everywhere?).

Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll - yes The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame - yes but so long ago I don’t remember it at all Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy yes. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens.  Yes, not his best by far.  Another “easy” read like Great Expectations Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - and many other of his works, when I was trying NOT to be an atheist - Mere Christianity, his sci-fi trilogy and Til We Have Faces, a retelling of my favorite myth, Psyche and Cupid.  I like the more obscure books in this series best - The Silver Chair and The Horse and his Boy. Emma - Jane Austen Persuasion - Jane Austen - oh, here it is!


The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis .... uh, yes The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - was a group read at work a couple of years ago.  recommend. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - yes Animal Farm - George Orwell - another book I want to re-read. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - nope 
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez; YES A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving 
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins ... did I?  I’m pretty sure. Or was it The Moonstone? Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery.  YES.  Anxiously awaiting the new adaption.  Why is it so hard to get Anne of Windy Poplars on kindle?  That is the funniest one.  And Rilla of Ingleside so heartbreaking 
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy 
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood, yes and ever so long ago.  Another book to re-read soon (haven’t started watching the series yet) Lord of the Flies - William Golding Atonement - Ian McEwan; LOVE this book and his writing in general.  He also wrote the screenplay, and the movie and the book are a perfect match in tone. 
Life of Pi - Yann Martel No, but on my list Dune - Frank Herbert - no Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons - yes, Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen - yay! 
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon 
A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - my intro to Dickens, though not his best Brave New World - Aldous Huxley - starting to get depressed at all this dystopian fiction that needs to be re-read as a primer for the present times 
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - lives at my desk at work.  Not even a favorite book of mine, but I love diving into his words every once in a while Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov The Secret History - Donna Tartt The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold  - when I saw the movie it reminded me why I wasn’t into reading the book Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas - plot better than the story 
On The Road - Jack Kerouac Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy - yeah, I had to read so much Hardy Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie - no, want to though 
Moby Dick - Herman Melville; I can’t even think about this book without remembering our class discussion of the “circle jerk” chapter.  I remember literally nothing else. 
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens - meh Dracula - Bram Stoker 
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett  - an ALL-TIME favorite Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson Ulysses - James Joyce; all hail the master, and the bastard responsible for my sick dependence on the em-dash The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome Germinal - Emile Zola Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray - unfortunately, yes Possession - AS Byatt A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens; of course Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell The Color Purple - Alice Walker - excellent The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry Charlotte’s Web - EB White: yes The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Yes.  I prefer Dorothy Sayers’ Lord Peter series hands-down, but despite her association with Tolkien, Lewis, et al, she got squashed between Conan Doyle and Christie.  Her Gaudy Night is one of my top five books.

The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad - yeah The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery heck, yeah The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks Watership Down - Richard Adams yes A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole - my kids read this book in HS, so I have a copy lying around, but have never read it A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas Hamlet - William Shakespeare - yes, probably too many times.  What are my favorite Shakespeare dramas?  Maybe King Lear, Richard III? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl. yes 
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo