#oh goodbye sex this is the last time sex can we reignite what we had sex my beloved

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #305

“you want me to be yours, well then you’ve got to be mine, & if you want a good girl, then goodbye”

Do you call the ice cream topping "jimmies" or "sprinkles"? They're "sprinkles" down here. What music are you listening to? Ha, I just turned on music before starting this. "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment is on rn. If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? N/A Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yeah; I was born in a Roman Catholic family. My mom's mom would've probably had a heart attack if us kids weren't. At family gatherings, are you more likely to hang out with the younger or older relatives? I mean, I'd go for those my age or older, generally. I'd hang out with kids though if they wanted me to. Considering you current health, how long do you think you will live? With my CURRENT health, probably not even 80. Do you have anything in your room that would be 'weird' to others? Posters, yeah. Have you ever done geocaching? No, but it'd be cool if my body could actually handle taking a single goddamn step. What was the last game you won? Maybe Uno with my niece? I generally let her win, but occasionally I'm "lucky" to TRY to be more convincing, lol. I think she knows I let her, though. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Do you enjoy playing Monopoly? Why or why not? No, because I don't like board games, especially any that involve math. Is there a doorknocker on your front door? No. Do 'laugh tracks' on TV shows annoy you? They're so normal that I don't even notice them, really. Do people often mistake you for other ethnicities? If so, what do you usually get? No, I'm pretty obviously white. Has anyone famous ever attended your school? Who? I won't say his name for the sake of not connecting dots, but a well-known football player attended my high school. Have you ever had to attend an event that occurred on your birthday? Ha, my 16th birthday landed on the Super Bowl... I was at Jason's that night, and just to be "part of the family," we watched it with everyone else that came over. I was so bored and uninterested, but that's my own fault, really. I could have said something, but this was only a month into our relationship so I was too uncomfortable to speak up. What do you think makes a girl a slut? Do you believe that label is thrown around far more often than it should be? And finally, do you think it's unfair that mostly only women receive that label? I don't give a flying fuck how many people a girl is sexually involved with so long as she is safe and open and honest with her partners. I'm not a fan of the word and don't think anyone should be called it. Do you think it's bad to have sex at 15 or younger? I don't think it's smart, really. It's just too young to risk pregnancy. Yes, abortion is an option, but like... a 15 y/o girl should never be faced with that dilemma. I'ma be real tho, I don't think it's a "good" idea until you're at least 18, aaaand I don't know any non-virgin who waited that long. Just try your best to wait, ig. Favorite love song at the moment? Love songs never sit well with me anymore. I mean I can enjoy them, absolutely, I just... have a lot of bitterness. Trying to pick a favorite when you feel like that is like trying to pick the best-looking rotten apple of the bunch. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? I've done that already, and it was great but also scary in a massively homophobic state. Ever paid for sex? No. During thunderstorms, how does your pet react? Neither have a unique reaction; they're unfazed. What internet browser do you use? Google Chrome. Do you like eggnog? Noooo no no. How often do you see your mother? Every day, because I live with her. Do you like croutons in your salad? No, I really don't like the texture difference. Who did you last play truth or dare with? I don't know. Have you ever brewed your own mead, wine, beer or soda? No. Have you had to make any changes in your life lately? If so, what kind of changes? ugh What's the earliest popular thing you can remember from your childhood? Ummm. I mean, probably like Barney or Elmo? Do you prefer practicality or fashionability when it comes to clothes? Well, really neither. I'm the type that wears tank tops in snow, flipflops year-round, sweatpants in summer... so I don't really dress with practicality. I don't care what's "fashionable," so. Comfort pretty much reigns over my wardrobe. Which kinds of berries grow in the wild where you live? There are these little red ones that grow in little groups and somewhat resemble raspberries. I can't remember if they're edible, though... Oh, and muscadine grapes (I had to look up if they were berries lmao) can be found here, too. They're yummy. Beautyberries are another. Have you ever made an article of clothing yourself? If so, what was it? No. Do you go to arcades? If so, what's your go-to game at one? Even before Covid, I never really went to them. I enjoy them, though. I guess my favorite is maybe air hockey? When's the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? What was it? At the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. It was some kind of sangria... Maybe strawberry and peach? Idr, but it was good. What has been the most enjoyable job you've had? You assume I've had a job I actually enjoyed. How about the least enjoyable job? Well, I barely lasted two hours in a dairy, soooo... When's the last time you had to carefully plan how you used your time? You're asking the wroooong person, 'cuz my life is never busy enough for that. Who do you usually say hello or good morning to first? My snake Venus, usually. Well, that is if her head is peeking out of her hide or is just fully out. Do you ever chat about your favorite video games with your friends? I don't really have gamer friends anymore, so not really. What do you hope you grow out of? Being so goddamn dependent. What movie made you cry the most? I can't say for sure considering it's easy for movies to make me cry, lmao. Maybe Titanic. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Seeing a container of dog food in the far back behind the Christmas tree one year. It's how I learned I was finally gettinga dog (Teddy). What brings you the most joy in life? Probably my cat lmao. What's a hobby you would like to try out? I wanna get back into video editing, I just. Don't have the motivation for it anymore. As with most things. What sort of a kiss do you count as the first kiss? On the lips and with mutual intention. What was the last event you attended? Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's, ig. How about the last event you organized? Me? Organizing an event? What's the biggest insect you've ever seen? In the wild, probably like... a rhinocerous beetle or something. NO NO WAIT. I remember at least once in my life seeing a fucking GINORMOUS moth on the ground one morning. I don't know what kind it was, but jc it was huge. How about the biggest spider? Oh yikes, I'll never forget this: an orb weaver wandering across the floor of our childhood van and under the passenger's seat. Never saw it again. I was afraid to let my feet stay on the floor for a looong time, haha. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? I'd never ask certain "why" questions, like "why did you get an abortion?" or something like that. I can think of valid situations to ask most things, even controversial matters, but no one should ever have to justify something like that. "Why don't you have kids?" is another. That one gets to me. Having children is not an advancement or milestone in everyone's life, and hell, you never know if the woman's had like five miscarriages or something. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? Why Mom didn't raise her eldest daughter, at least for her whole life. Katie's childhood is a big mystery to me, and I want to know more, but I know the topic is very upsetting to Mom, so I'm not about to make her explain it. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? Saying "worst/best" makes this question confusing... but I'm guessing you mean the best thing to me that they wouldn't have approved of? I really didn't do a lot of things that would fit that description. I can only think of a certain intimate occasion where things happened where they probably shouldn't have. If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Ugh, I don't because of the holes being too stretched out from wearing heavy earrings too long. I still haven't gotten to putting proper gauges in so it looks less stupid. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Maybe like, $10 or something. How about a slot machine? I've never played one. Do like playing bingo? Sure, it's all right. What small, everyday thing makes you really happy? Cuddling with my cat. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one's your favorite? Yeah, I do. I can't really pick a favorite, though... Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? I think in a past survey I mentioned my aversion to beer because of the association it has with my dad. I'd never be able to get a sip down. Not that I really want to anyway though, it stinks. What you would you absolutely hate living next door to? Any really busy location or travel hubs, like a train station. My childhood home was near a railroad track, and it sucked, so I can only imagine a station. What would you love to live next door to? A waterfall, uggghhhh. In the woods too to hear plenty of frogs and toads and crickets... What gives you nostalgia? It is very easy to make me nostalgic. The littlest things can do it. Hearing about/seeing/playing childhood video games, like Spyro, is a biggie. Which reminds me how damn badly I wanna play the Reignited trilogy, fuck. I just don't have the proper console. Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Well English is supposedly the hardest objectively, but as a native English speaker, I can't say anything about that. In my experience, Latin was like fucking impossible. Is there a place that you might call your second home? I guess Dad's house, but it's not like I'm there a lot. I feel comfortable there, though. How do you imagine your later life to look like? I DO NOT want to think about this. I fucking dread the thought. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? A butcher. There is absolutely no motherfucking way I ever could do it, even if it kept me off the streets. What's the weirdest building in your city? *shrug* How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Facebook. Do you recognize friends'/family's vehicles by sound? Not anymore. Dad had an old car that was very easy to recognize with its shitty muffler, but he hasn't had that car in years upon years. I used to be able to recognize Jason's old car too because of sound, but primarily because he drove way too fast down our path that when I heard a car zooming over rocks, I knew it was him. What's something new you've just recently learned? It was actually a topic of recent discussion that I may have high-functioning Asperger's. Very, very unusual to learn later in life, but apparently Mom's seen the warning signs in some things since childhood, like my extreme pickiness with textures, my tendency to knead and play with my hands in situations of discomfort, my social ineptitude, hyperfixations, it actually running in our family (which I didn't know beforehand), among a lot of other things. We're not really digging into it though because it just doesn't matter; there's obviously no magic treatment for autism, and me being in therapy and having a psychiatrist to handle my meds is enough. If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? Apparently I'm on the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor line when I took a survey a long time ago. Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not anymore, at least on the average day. Mom's accepted it by now. Dad's joked about it before though and I know others have certain opinions about it. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Maybe a deer. Shy, reclusive, and always on alert. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head at the moment? I have "my boy" by Billie Eilish on right now because it's stuck in my head. What's your father's middle name? John. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Yikes, good question. I think it was The Lion King remake. Have you ever vandalized? No. What's a pet you've always wanted? Most pets I want I've had at some point or another... I guess I'll say a ferret, though I've really only wanted one in concept. I could never keep up with their maintenance, but by god they are the cutest fucking things ever. Do you like mice? I love mice! What's your favorite t-shirt? My "equal in our bones" Cloak shirt. :''') The design is so beautiful and just my style in general, plus I live to support anything Fischfuck takes part in. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? I'm 25 and still have never had my own car lmaoooo. What's your favorite tomato variety? I generally don't like tomatoes themselves, but rather products made with them, like ketchup. If I'm in the mood though, I do like tomato sandwiches with mayo and bacon; I only ever enjoyed them though if they were fresh right from an old friend's garden. Which well-known person's death shocked you the most, if any? I think Chester Bennington's was the biggest surprise. Rest easy, you legend. What's the craziest color you'd dye your hair? More like what crazy color WOULDN'T I dye it... What was the longest train ride you've been on? I've never been on one. What's the coolest hobby one of your friends has? uhhhhh idk Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. If you could learn any skill, which would you like to learn? Ha, cooking. How do you like your steak? Medium well.

[taronfanfic]

Rewind

Masterlist

Chapter 16

You’d actually done it. Befriended, dated and now slept with the man who was once known as ‘the cute guy’, and it turned out there was a whole lot more to him than just being very good looking. As you lay in bed blissfully, with his arm still draped around your shoulders, you struggled to believe your own luck. Your body was heavy and tired from the earlier action and yet your mind was still running at one hundred miles an hour. The slow rise and fall of Taron’s chest was helping to calm it but you still wished you could trade places with him. He looked so comfortable, peaceful and content. He looked like he belonged too. Thoughts of a future with him started to play out in your mind. It wasn’t like you hadn’t imagined them before, but now you actually knew him and how he behaved when he was around you everything felt that bit more realistic and attainable. You found yourself placing a soft kiss to his skin, almost like you were checking that he was actually real. Taron’s hand gently squeezed the top of your arm at the feel of your lips on his skin again.

“Go to sleep.” He whispered softly before pulling his arm out from under you and turning onto his side. You turned with him and took up the offer of a spoon, happily closing your eyes as he tucked himself in behind you and let his hand rest on your outer thigh.

***

“Oh, is that a sign of life?” You heard him before you’d even opened your eyes and the tingling rush that flew around your body instantly erased your morning grogginess.

“Mmm, hello.” You replied sleepily as you turned onto your back and tried to prepare yourself for the sight of his naked body all over again.

“I made you a mug of tea but it’s probably nearing the cold side by now.” The feel of Taron leaning over you gave you your moment and you opened your eyes to see his white t-shirt covering his chest. It was slightly disappointing but as he smiled down at you and handed you your mug you weren’t in any position to be complaining.

“You been awake for long?” You sat up and took a sip of your tea, too used to it being too hot to drink, so pleasantly surprised to find it at the perfect temperature. “Thanks for this.”

“You’re welcome, and no not too long. I thought I might have woken you up from rummaging around in your kitchen but you were still sound asleep when I got back.”

“Last night was tiring.” The smirk fell naturally to your face so you hid behind your mug.

“Stop it.” Taron giggled. “I’m fully aware that you’re still naked under there so I do not need to be tempted any more than I already am.” You pulled the covers up and away from your chest so you could look down your own body, causing Taron to reach out and push your hand straight back down again. A pout of intrigue should have told Taron your next move but he didn’t seem to follow. You reached out to his side of the bed and pulled the covers down to reveal he’d already put his boxers back on.

“Well you’re no fun.” You joked as you flung the duvet back over him.

“If I had the time I would definitely be down for some morning sex, so don’t you go thinking otherwise!”

“You can’t stay?”

“Afraid not. Places to be, people to see…” He kept it vague. “But I had a really good time last night, and hopefully you did too.”

“Yeah, I did. Really good.”

“Good.” He smiled. “It made for a nice change.”

“It did.” You felt your nerves and awkwardness creeping back up to the surface but there was nothing you could do to stop them. The morning after the night before was usually a speedy exit with little chat so the longer this lingered on the less you knew what to say. You could only sit and watch as Taron got dressed into last night’s clothes again; clothes he’d clearly collected and brought back in here along with yours whilst he waited for the kettle to boil. “So, ermm.” You started to speak without knowing what you were going to say.

“One last kiss before I go?” Taron asked and you nodded simply, waiting as he knelt on the side of the bed and leant across to meet you. It was a simple touching of lips to start with but you couldn’t resist asking him for more, teasing your tongue against his lower lip and then feeling him smile. He opened up for you and let you kiss him properly, taking his sweet time before pulling away and backing off the bed without taking his eyes off you.

“Have a good day.” You spoke softly

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” His smile lingered for a few seconds before he finally turned and left you, closing the door behind him gently on his way out.

“Have a fucking good day!” You mocked yourself out loud with a shake of your head. The dregs of your tea swirled gently around your mug as you placed it down and picked up your phone instead.

First one to call me gets all the details ;)

You knew it would reignite the group chat and leave two of them with an agonising wait, but their speculation would only add to your enjoyment. It was less than 30 seconds before your phone started to ring with Rosie’s name appearing in the centre of your screen. You swiped in her call and put her on speaker so you could lie back down in bed and get comfy again.

“Spill!” She didn’t even start with hello.

“So, erm… he’s literally just left mine.”

“Ahh, he stayed for a sleepover!” She squealed back in delight, still using your teenage code for sex.

“… or two.”

“Two! Y/N!”

“I know.” There was no hiding your smugness.

“You need to tell me your secret, how to stop them from falling asleep straight after.”

“Make sure number 1 doesn’t happen in the bedroom.” Rosie gasped before firing out her next question.

“Where?”

“Sofa.” You bit your lower lip as you waited nervously for her reply.

“Remind me not to sit there next time I’m at yours.” You both laughed. “So come on, was he any good?”

“Urgh, so good. He was a bit nervous to start with but it just made him even more irresistible. Round 2 was all him though and… wow. Even just thinking about it again is doing good things to my insides.”

“Why do you think he was nervous?”

“He had a bit of a wobble during the date, thought he was going to fuck it up somehow. I don’t know, I think the pressure of the first date setting just caught up to him. It was sweet though. Showed that he cared about what I thought.”

“Oh god, he’s adorable and hot!”

“I know, right.” You sighed.

“And you’re totally smitten, I can tell just from your voice!”

“I can’t even deny it.” Nothing was going to stop the smile on your face from fading.

“Y/N, this is amazing. So nerves aside how was he on the date? Was he saying the right things?” The barrage of questions continued.

“He was perfect. A gentleman, flirty, funny, cute… God, Rosie. I already want him to be back here with me.”

“I know you do, but promise me you won’t act on it.” You stayed quiet. “Y/N, please?”

“How do I not though?”

“You’ve got to give him time to miss you. You can’t bombard him with messages else he’ll get overwhelmed and back off. You need to keep up the resistance and tension if you want to make this work.” You could only groan back in pain as you knew Rosie’s advice was spot on. “Every time you want to message him, send it to me instead.”

“But what if he’s doing the same and waiting for me to message him first?”

“I’m not saying ghost him! Just leave it at least 24 hours.”

“What if he texts me first?”

“Then it’s game on, but don’t get your hopes up on that one!”

“He might surprise you.”

“How did you leave things this morning?”

“With a very nice kiss, a longing look and tempting thoughts of morning sex.”

“Hummmmm.” Rosie replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Maybe he’s more into you than I first thought.” Rosie thought aloud. “I mean, he’s obviously into you… but you’re pretty much head over heels and it would be unlikely for him to be feeling the same. But I’ve only got one side of the story to judge it from so it’s hard to know.”

“Well how about, after a few days, I try and organise something casual for next weekend with our lot and his group of friends. It’s something he’s already suggested before, but that way you can see how we are together and then tell me, honestly, if I’m being blinkered by his charm.”

“Plan! Hopefully some of his friends will be fit as well.”

“Leave it with me.”

“24 hours though, Y/N. Trust me.”

“Okay, okay!”

“I’ve got to go, but fill the other two in before they start hounding me instead.” You said your goodbyes and ended the call with Rosie. 24 hours wasn’t that long to wait, you could keep yourself busy and you’d be at work tomorrow morning. You just had to make it until your lunch break.

Tag List: @egerton-sweetie @amanda-tallmadge @lizziespidiepridie​ @leanimal90@anantheminmyheart22@aynsleywalker@bohemianrhapsody86@butterfliesslugswormsandothershi @manners-maketh-taron@livingincompletesilence@marvelmakeuplover@ohsosmutty@misspygmypie @manners-maketh-a-kingsman@courtmr@baileythepenguin@thomaslefteyebrow@witchymarvelspacecase

[waitinginthedarke]

Ex’s and Oh’s

A BTS/Min Yoongi Fanfiction

Summary: When its over, its meant to be over; it should be finished, and you should move on. But when paths continue to cross, and the fires reignite, you’re going to need to prepare yourself to perish in the flames, because you’ll never make it out unscathed.

Type: Angst/Smut

Prologue Part 1

Chapter 2

‘y/n?.....y/n?....Y/N!?’

Ignoring Jisu’s cries of your name, you burrow further into the comfort of your duvet, cementing your eyes closed with a wrinkled forehead and proceeding to attempt to stay in the land of sleep and nothingness.

‘Y/N?! Do you know what the time is? You’re going to be late for work!’

‘Leave me here. I’m calling in sick.’ You grumble, groaning when you realize you’d accidentally opened your eyes and now you could see the morning light attempting to filter through the rumpled covers of your bed, the looming memories of the night before prodding at the back of your mind and causing you to cradle your head in your arms. Although seconds later you have your covers pulled rather violently from your body to reveal your best friend stood over you with a scowl.

‘Why aren’t you up yet?’

Jisu was a petite, brunette bobbed girl, with winged eyeliner sharper than the funniest guy’s wit, and an authoritative tone that would challenge any mother’s. You’d met her in high school; you were too laid back and mature compared to most of the other kids your age, and she just had an air about her that spoke to you and told you she didn’t get caught up in all the trouble and chaos the teenage spirit evoked. Ever since then you’d been practically joined at the hip, and when you’d suggested moving to Seoul with her in pursuit of ‘living the dream’; running your own styling business, she’d been all too happy to jump in a car with you and roll on into your future together.

However, on morning’s like this, you were pretty sure she regretted it a little.

‘Y/N? Come on! You have to go to work! You’re the BOSS…and what happened to you last night? You text me telling me you were going to be out all night, and then I get back here to find you having gone to bed!? I felt bad having to send Daesuk home-‘

‘Not bad enough to make him leave last night; ...I just heard him leave, Jisu.’ You mutter, peaking an eye open at her to see her screwing her mouth up, eyebrows raised high on her head as she feigned ignorance, despite the light pink tinge that rushes across her face.

‘Well…that’s avoiding the question! Why-‘

You sigh heavily as you push yourself up into a sitting position on the bed, the movement causing Jisu to clamber over you to jump back down to the floor to avoid falling down, and turning to you with a scowl once she was steady on her feet again. But the second she sees you drawing your hands over your face before hanging your head she’s back beside you, wrapping her arms around your middle and cocking her head at you in a silent questioning of what was wrong.

‘What time did you say it was?’ you ask instead, attempting a reassuring smile in her direction before moving to slip off of the opposite side of the bed. However, you don’t get very far before she’s calling your name, and you end up pausing in the doorway to the bathroom as guilt fills you, initially beginning with just the discomfort of hiding your previous night’s activities from her, before the full on guilt of what you’d done hits you, and you turn to her with tears in your eyes.

‘Can I have a hug?’

‘Why would you do that, Y/N?’

One…two…three...four...five-

‘You know its just going to make it so much harder on you-‘

One…two…three…four-

‘You should have come to find me and we could have left-‘

One…two-

‘He’s not going to want to see you again,…you know that right?’

One…t-

‘It didn’t mean anything to him, Y/N. …it was just sex.’

You stumble to a stop as Jisu’s words ring around the inside of your skull, dragging in as much air as your lungs would allow to attempt to stop the burning that had begun in your chest, and finding yourself gripping the railing that separated you from the river’s edge when your eyes finally refocus a few seconds later.

‘Shit.’

Sensing the eyes of a few people walking by being fixed on your strange actions, you hurry to straighten up and resume a normal expression, pulling your lips into a small smile to decrease suspicion that something was wrong, before you force yourself to continue walking, managing to take a few steps before you shake yourself and resume your usual running route, finding peace in the repetitive falls of your feet.

‘…it was just sex.’

The sentence continued to echo within your mind until you made it to the office 30 minutes later, quickly and quietly slipping through the front door and into the backroom to shower before any of your staff could stop you. Re-emerging with a fresh face and your work clothes on; a pair of sleek black slacks and a somewhat professional looking white blouse with ruffled sleeve-cuffs, you instantly throw yourself into the work day, ignoring the confused looks from your employees who’d all heard the way you’d sung loudly in the shower to drown out your over-bearing thoughts and making your way over to the reception desk of your small salon.

‘When are the first clients in?’ you ask, the vague memory of the packed schedule that you’d checked over yesterday struggling to make itself clear in your mind. The receptionist barely covers her concerned and confused expression before you look up at her expectantly, at which point she hurriedly begins to rattle off a list of appointments, including in and out of house clients, before finishing with some phone calls you were required to make in preparation for the next day’s schedule.

‘Okay. And everyone is here?’ you ask, catching the nod from the woman in front of you before looking around expectantly and already seeing most of the girls setting up ready for the day’s first jobs and finding yourself sighing, thankful that you’d managed to find such hard working employees.

‘Well...in that case…I suppose its time to get to work!’

Lunchtime had come and gone, and it was nearing on closing by the time you thought about Yoongi again.

The entire day you’d spent burying your head in your work, having a lot of your own managerial business sorted within the first 3 hours of opening the shop, before you’d ended up walking out to the main room to begin assisting the other girls. They’d proceeded to send each other puzzled looks, wondering why you were involving yourself in the menial jobs that you usually ended up avoiding considering the vast amount of calls and emails you had to get through, but the second you’d begun conversing with one of the clients, simply enjoying chattering away to them and ending up receiving a large tip from them, they hadn’t batted an eyelid.

The second you say goodbye to your receptionist- who was usually the last to leave the building- and you watch her drive away in her car however, you find yourself slowly walking over to the door and reaching for the lock, seeing your hand trembling as you stretch up on your tiptoes to get the deadbolt, before you turn and slowly slide to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest and raking in deep breaths in an attempt to calm your body as tears began to dampen your cheeks.

‘Damnit.’ You sniffle, quickly wiping your cheeks harshly in an attempt to stop the tears you’d let silently fall for the past 5 minutes, and you hurry to push yourself to your feet, knowing Jisu would be wondering where you were, and not wanting to get stuck in your thoughts until you’d returned home and were safe in the privacy of your room.

However, its just as you’d gone into the back room to retrieve your bag and your coat that you’d had stashed since before your run that morning, and you’d turned off the lights ready to lock up, that you see the silhouette against the front window…

…and you recognize that same oh so familiar jawline that had had your knees attempting to buckle beneath you since the very first time you’d seen him.

Why…why was he here?

The first thing you think to do is to grab your phone, intending on calling Jisu and asking for her advice on the situation since it was clear he didn’t know you’d clocked him at that point- as he stood with his back leant on the window and his attention on the street outside. However, the second you fish your phone from your bag and it lights up in your palm, you realize there was nothing you could do.

18 missed calls.

4 new voice mails.

9 new messages.

[YG: We need to talk.]

Your grip on your phone tightens as you close your eyes, furrowing your brow as you rack your brain for the right answer to the situation, Jisu’s words, ‘it was just sex- it doesn’t mean anything to him.’, running round your mind once more, and you’re about to walk back into your office and lock the door in preparation to spend the night avoiding leaving the building and having to talk to him-

…but then you feel your phone begin to vibrate in your hand, and before you even look down, you knew who it was going to be…

So, instead, you look up-

-and you’re met with the sight of Yoongi’s dark gaze peering back at you through the window.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re aware of the way you subconsciously answer the call, sliding your thumb across the screen of your phone and raising the device to your ear, your body beginning to run on autopilot under his gaze. However, it still takes around 10 seconds before you register that the words being whispered into your ear were the same ones being made from the moving mouth that you’d been staring at, and its only once you’ve made the connection that you remember how to breathe once again.

‘Why didn’t you respond to my messages?’

…always so blunt.

‘*sigh*….we need to talk about last night.’

Its as you watch him speak the words, that the dread begins to build in your stomach, your body immediately beginning to revolt against what you knew was coming.

Because its only in that exact moment that you realize you’d been subconsciously letting yourself think that Jisu was wrong, that despite running away last night, you’d believed he’d come back for you, wanting to reconcile what had happened and pick up once more from where the two of you had left off the week before…

But all it took was for you to process his tone of voice, and the emphasis he placed on the word ‘talk’, for you to know…you’d been utterly, completely wrong.

‘There’s nothing to talk about-‘

‘Y/N-‘

‘Yoongi, just leave it-‘

‘This doesn’t change anything.‘

You rip your phone angrily from your ear and stomp to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open, stepping outside to face him, and watching his hand fall to his side with his own phone clutched in it as he stonily takes in your movements, his jaw gritted in preparation for anything you were about to say.

But from his reaction to your next words, he wasn’t quite prepared for everything.

‘Then why are you here?’

The cool night that clings to your arms where you’d forgotten to put your jacket on before leaving the building was the only thing that made a sound as you stared him down, its quiet whispers as it wove its way through your bodies and between the strands of your hair sounding like roaring waves in your ears as you waited for him to give you an answer, having to swallow multiple times to stop the tears from falling as you realized he didn’t really have a reason.

‘It was just sex to you, Yoongi. I know that. So just leave-‘

‘Y/N, I-‘

‘Nothing you could say could make this any better for me.’ You cut him off, finding your breaths coming quicker as your anger builds and forcing yourself to look up at him despite your blurred vision, catching the way he reflexively reaches his hand out to you as if to comfort you…before letting it fall back to his side, continuing to watch you with a helpless expression as you shake your head and turn to walk away.

‘Just go, Yoongi. …Its my own fault for not walking away last night-‘

‘Y/n, you cant just leave, I-‘

It’s the break in his voice that has your feet dragging to a halt and your eyes sliding closed to avoid your tears from spilling, the pain coming from your bicep where you were digging your nails in so tight to stop yourself from breaking down being non-existant in comparison to the pangs in your chest as you heard him attempt to drag in a deep breath to get himself under control.

‘I-…I know I was the one that ended it, Y/N…but that doesn’t mean I don’t hurt too. I just...last night cant happen again. Waking up without you this morning...it hurt too much...’

And then your breath stopped.

A slow burn began in your lungs as half of your brain continued to cry over the lost love between the two of you, that part of you still stuck on the way his voice had broken, and the way he’d made love to you last night; like you’d never been apart from each other. 

But the screams that echoed in your head from the other half of your brain; the screams that told a story of sleepless nights where you’d cried into your pillow from the injustice of his actions, and days spent staring in front of yourself without seeing anything, that voice was the one that completely obliterated every other word that lingered on your tongue.

‘What?’

‘I haven’t been able to sleep properly for the past week, I-I’ve spent pretty much every single night by myself cause I just wanted to be with you. The guys keep telling me how bad I look and-‘

‘Fuck you, Yoongi.’

The words are whispered as they leave you, your shaking hands that hung at your sides dropping your coat as you turn sharply and step towards him, not being able to control the urge to lash out, and ending up pushing on his chest in your frustration, tears rolling furiously down your cheeks as you struggle to look at his broken expression.

‘You cant say that! You cant say that you hurt ...when you were the one who left me. Ever since you told me it was over I-I’ve barely been able to find a single minute in the day when im not crying, or bent over in pain where my chest hurts so much! I dont eat. I dont sleep. Running isn’t even an escape anymore. You hurt me…so much…that I’ve barely felt human-…and you have the audacity to-‘

The same lips that had left that final kiss upon your forehead a week ago, were suddenly crashing softly to yours, bringing your broken words to a halt as what you’d intended to shout at him turns to dust in your mind. Failing to realize the way you were sinking into him, you let yourself wallow in the shivers that race down your spine in response to the arms that fold around you, and the scent that fills your lungs, his smell seeming to be like oxygen for you with the way you draw it headily into your lungs, feeding off the kiss as though you’d been starved of him; as though last night had never happened...

As though this was a different Yoongi.

‘Please don’t shout at me…I hate seeing you mad at me...’

Your throat feels like its been cut. Your breath and the words that you wanted to throw at him simply become non-existant as his lips linger against your own, the feel of both of your tears where they hung on your lips after the kiss making your skin rush with the realization of the moment, your attention seeming to focus to the point of a pin as you slowly open your eyes to meet his broken gaze...

And you realize that you didn’t want it to be about him anymore.

‘Its too late.’

Without waiting for him to answer you pull yourself from his hold, his hands that had come to clutch your waist to keep you tightly pressed against him, falling like flakes of paint from a fence as you turn to pick your jacket up off of the floor. You’re unable to stop yourself from pausing as you muster the courage to walk away, but despite yourself and your better intentions, you still end up turning to look back at him, having to grit your teeth when you see him staring back at you with a stoic gaze, and no attempt to stop you from leaving.

‘Goodbye, Yoongi.’

Leaving him standing under the dim light of the streetlamp, you make it half way back to your apartment before you end up calling Jisu to come and get you.

Within 10 minutes she’s by your side where you’d collapsed onto a bench, attempting to stop your heart from shattering into a billion pieces in your chest.

(T.B.C)