#oh dang he looks ethereal here...

[thepaintedlady00]

So I have a request female human reader/morpheous

She met morpheous because she’s a friend of Constantine she basically helps organize everything while she’s working (almost impossible with the mess she leaves) one day due to Constantine work she ends up in danger basically a demon looking for Constantine tries to kill her morpheous happens to save her because he’s also trying to contact Constantine about something he needs to know. She totally falls for morpheous but is really hesitant because he’s basically out of her league so they both kinda dang around each other I tol Constantine blow up on her and him to just get together 🙄. She’s basically Cupid here. They start dating. A few weeks she start getting random calls but nobody answers when she picks up she thinks nothing on it. Also start to feel watched but she thinks it just her being tire one day she gets attacked turns out her ex abusive boyfriend got out of jail and is looking revenge things get bad when he get into her apartment one night . Enter Mathew that goes directly to the dreaming as fast as he can.

We all know Morpheous will go feral because this ass was one of her lovers and also treated her badly. Much more when she had already told him about her ex and how much damage he had done to her psychologically and physically. Morpheous deal with him and later on come back to be with her 🥺

Bestie you're just always on point with these! Like this is beautiful and I hope you love it as much as I do!

Working for Johanna Constantine was a struggle. On good days you'd be dealing with a massive pile of bullshit she'd insisted was all important and spend hours organizing it as best you could only to find more things stuffed away. On the bad days, like this one, you found yourself running for your life as a massive stinking demon chased you.

You moved around the storage space, taking sharp turns and doing everything in your power to evade and hopefully lose this thing. However, you weren't exactly good at this sort of thing. Running, life-threatening scenarios, demons all that was the kind of thing you'd spent a great deal trying to avoid. Avoiding trouble when in bed with a Constantine was, as you'd learned, impossible.

A stray box took your feet out from under you and you hit the floor hard. Your head rattled as it hit the ground and your vision was swarmed with blurry shapes and fuzzy circles like TV static. With a groan, you somehow managed to sit up just in time to watch the demon leap over the box and land on top of you. It shrieked loudly in your face, spit and what you'd hoped was mucus of some kind landed on your cheek. It grabbed hold of your legs and began pulling you with it, dragging you back toward whatever hellscape it'd been summoned from.

Screaming and writhing trying to fight free you didn't notice the figure in black until he spoke. "Release her demon, and I shall merely return you to Hell."

You looked down the long hall of storage units at the ethereal man that stood, unbothered by the creature. The demon roared again, gripping your legs harder as it tossed you into the wall and darted off toward the man. You raised your head and shouted a warning toward him. "Look out!"

He hardly needed it. With one wave of his hand, the creature was surrounded by glittering sand and vanished. Your mouth fell open as the man regarded you with a stoic look. "Are you harmed?"

"No," you answered, quickly snapping yourself out of thoughts of his handsomeness and rising to your feet. You put pressure on your ankle and fell forward, straight into the mans waiting arms.

"Constantine feared you'd found trouble and sent me to check in on you."

"That's good," you said. "I probably would have been eaten or something if you hadn't showed up."

"It would not have ate you," the man replied. "It wanted to drag you to it's domain within Hell to make you it's bride."

You made a face. "Oh... ew... well thanks for not letting that happen."

He bowed his head. "I will take you to your employer. I presume she will have the necessary equipment to treat your ankle."

Johanna had been less than thrilled at the sight of you covered in grime and spit and limping. She'd thanked the man, whose name you learned was Dream, and assured him you were in good hands. This, you believed, was the end of it. Your ankle would heal, and things would go back to normal.

Normal was not this. Dream stood in your home, quietly observing your trinkets and portraits while you nervously offered him tea and cake and just about anything you had on hand. He refused, of course, not out of disgust but rather a disinterest in human food which was a point he made sure to communicate to you with a simple deadpan of, "I do not eat."

You couldn't help yourself, the longer you watched him the louder the thoughts of appreciation of his beauty and elegance grew. He was unlike anything, anyone you'd ever seen. Dream was not just physically the embodiment of how you'd imagined angels would appear but had a voice smoother than honey or fine silk, a voice that you'd only be able to describe as other. He looked over his shoulder at you, those eyes... starlit and cosmic capturing you in an instant. "Are you well?"

"Yes!" You practically shouted. "You're fine - I'M... I'M fine."

One of the corners of his mouth twitched into what you'd describe as a smile. "I simply wished to check in to make certain no more demons came looking for a blushing bride."

You laughed, of course blushing at just his voice. "I haven't seen any... or I don't think I have. I guess I wouldn't really know until the last minute."

"The smell would give them away." Was that a joke? You wondered as you quietly laughed.

"Thank you for checking on me."

He looked away the expressionless look on his face that he'd had the entire time he'd been here faltering for a moment. "I confess I have been keeping a close eye on you since we last met."

You wracked your brain trying to remember a time you'd seen him over the course of the week. "I... I'm sorry I didn't notice you."

"You wouldn't," he answered. "I was not physically present, but my raven made certain you were safe."

"Your raven?"

"That'd be me," a new voice said from the windowseal.

You jumped, instinctually moving closer to Dream's stiff form. "Oh my god!"

The black bird tucked it's head in a bit. "Sorry, I forget how startling that can be."

It took a minute or so for you to fully process that there was a raven in your flat... and about five more to process the fact that it'd just spoken to you. "I... Sorry... I wasn't exactly expecting you to talk."

"Perfectly understandable," the bird said, flying into your home and looking at the magazines on your coffee table. "Names Matthew."

"Matthew... I have to admit I that wasn't what I thought your name would be."

"Yeah, kind of a lame one for a talking raven," he agreed. "But you can blame my mom for that I guess."

"So all ravens talk?"

"No," Dream answered. "Matthew was human once, before he became my raven."

You nodded, even though it was obvious you were very confused. "Right. Well, thanks I guess for checking up on me."

Matthew cawed, flaring his wings out. "Well there was something else we came here for, right boss?"

Looking up at Dream you smiled. His face revealed nothing as he replied, "No. I do believe we are finished with our task."

"Oh," you whispered, slightly disappointed. "Well, thank you again. Maybe I'll see you or, uh, Matthew around sometime."

Dream said nothing more as he and the bird quietly exited your flat. Unbeknownst to you, Matthew berated the Dream Lord all the way back to The Dreaming and for days after. He'd planned on inviting you to see his realm. He'd seen your dreams, mystical and magical, and everything you found beautiful, and he instantly thought you'd enjoy seeing a land of true magic and beauty. A land that would match your own enchanting smile and mystical laughter.

Time passed as it always did, you worked closely with Johanna and on occasion, Dream would lend a hand in finding certain artifacts or warning against demons. The two of you spoke often on those rare instances, so often you'd learned much about one another. Johanna insisted you'd grown a rather obvious crush on the ancient being, which you'd not denied but rather reminded yourself of the reality. He was a king, a god, an Endless. He'd hold no romantic interest toward you, a human.

When Dream did finally invite you to his realm it was something you'd never forget. The shimmering black sand of the beach, the intricate ivory gates, the houses belonging to Cain and Abel as well as their golden gargoyle, the bridge, and the bright fields with flowers that had long been extinct. His palace was grand and spectacular. White with gold and ceilings of stars and windows of stained glass. You loved it here, every moment.

Lucienne had been waiting for you in the library, happily explaining everything she could and leading you and Dream through the near-endless shelves all full of books. It was more than you could have ever imagined. Dream assured you that you'd be able to return whenever you wished and he'd held to that. Every night you came back and read a book alongside him. Every night you fell more in love with him than you'd ever thought possible.

You hadn't planned on telling him that, but Johanna had other plans. Devious Constantine plans. She's gathered you and Dream together to help her find some information and when both of you were lost in your respective spell books she loudly proclaimed you'd told her about a sex dream you'd had of the Endless being.

Mortified you sat frozen, glaring at her, while Dream calmly stated, "I would remember that quite vividly, had it happened."

Blushing you shook your head. "What the hell Johanna?"

"Well someone has to make a move or you two will just be skirting about each other for eternity!"

The incident, as you called it, was horrifying, but ultimately did lead you to admit your feelings for Dream and him doing so to you. Dating him was hardly any different than what the two of you usually did before, only now there were stolen moments of soft touches and tender kisses and... after a few months, intimate experiences that had your legs shaking days after.

Life was going well until you began receiving calls from an unknown number. Whoever it was never said a word, but each one made you feel sick. Soon every time you were out in public you'd be tingling with the horrid feeling that you were being followed, and watched. It was driving you crazy and Dream took note. He offered to send Matthew to stay with you when he could not to help ease your mind and quell your fears. Neither of you could have known how the simple act would save your life.

You'd just gotten home after a long day and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed to join your boyfriend in The Dreaming. From the door, you could hear Matthew perch in the window as you shed your coat and made your way to the kitchen to put on a kettle for tea. You didn't make it that far when a pair of arms wound around you, covering your mouth and dragging you through the house as you threw yourself around trying to break your attackers hold.

Matthew cawed and swooped down to attack the man that held you, but quickly realized he was of little help and fled to get Dream. It was then that the man spoke, revealing him to be your ex-boyfriend and a man that should have been in prison. As he talked you went still and in turn his hold on you loosened enough for you to throw your head back into this nose and break free.

You ran to the bathroom, locked the door behind you, and crawled into the tub, covering your ears with your hands and quietly praying Dream would come soon. In your state of adrenaline and fear you hardly noticed the black-clad being until his hands carefully reached out and touched you. You sobbed into his chest as he took you to The Dreaming and helped settle you into the bed.

On another night he wouldn't hesitate to sit beside you and comfort you until you fell asleep naturally. But on this night he sprinkled a pinch of sand over your eyes and tucked you into the bed. On this night he would deal with the man that had caused you so much pain and doubt.

He was still in your apartment, throwing himself at the bathroom door and taunting you when Dream returned. He opened the bathroom door and let the man fall to the ground in front of him. As he gazed up into the pitch-black eyes of Dream of the Endless the man scurried back like a frightened mouse. "I was beginning to fear we'd never meet."

"What the fuck are you?"

"I am Dream of the Endless and you have wronged one I hold most dear." He walked forward, darkness following in his steps. "And I cannot allow such to go unpunished."

"I didn't do anything!" The man insisted. "That bitch is a liar! She's crazy!"

Dream stepped onto his knee, listening to it crack beneath his boots. "Enough. Your lies will not sway one such as myself. Pitiful and hollow being that you are. Loveless and joyless... You never deserved her. Not her touch, nor her kind words, not even a moment in her presence."

The man would beg and plead, and Dream would let him. He'd listen to every word and he'd cherish each one, for he knew exactly the kind of pain he'd put you through. He knew every word you'd said to beg him, to plead with him for kindness and mercy, though this... creature would give you neither. When the majority of his bones were broken, either by an act of violence meant to harm Dream or by a mild movement of the Endless, Dream at last relented. "You will never see her again. Never touch her, hear her, or smell her. You will leave this place at once and you will never return. From this moment on you will live every moment of your life haunted by the pain you forced her to endure. You will know no moment of peace, no semblance of mercy or kindness. Even your begging would not be enough to sway me."

Dazed and confused and broken your ex would wake up in a hospital far away from your town. He'd not remember that night, but he'd live each moment in pain and anguish. Every night he'd dream of the King of Nightmares and hear his curse. He'd not live long.

Dream returned to your side, quietly pulling you into his chest as you stirred, kissing his neck and nuzzling your face into his soft messy hair. "Did you just get done working?"

"Yes," he answered. "Go back to sleep my love."

You looked into his eyes with still heavy lids. "Did something happen tonight?"

He tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," you answered. "I think I had nightmare."

Dream's arms wrapped even tighter around you as he pressed his head to yours. "Go back to sleep. I will kill any nightmare that dares touch that beautiful mind of yours."

You giggled. "That's a bit extreme. Maybe just a stern warning would be better."

"Anything you wish, my love."

[dear-mortality]

The shepherd prince

Chapter sixteen: stampede!!

Chapters

Enfys woke up refreshed after getting proper sleep without stress or anxiety. Solving the situation with ether helped them alot.

They wore their clothes and headed straight to the Archives

"Good morning." He exclaimed after opening the door

Everyone groaned in unison

"Oh HUSH i don't like being here anymore than you like me being around." Enfys walked over to a table and picked up a book on top of it, while skimming through it quickly enfys mumbled something under their breath. "You're all lucky im in a good mood today."

Enfys cleared her throat and closed the book quickly.

"So what about that lead? The mysterious figure that roamed the countryside a few months ago?"

"We checked that out" answered a woman dressed in many accents of white and gold. "apparently it was an old lady with memory problems leaving her house and forgetting where it was."

"DANG IT- wait is she ok?"

"Yeah thankfully" exclaimed a person while walking with a bunch of books and scrolls barely balanced on top of eachother. "a doctor was present somehow and she's been doing better with their medication."

"A doctor??? Here???" Enfys seemed shocked at the statement. "Why wasn't i notified of someone of such high ranking entering zatieon? Even if you lot didn't know; someone in the magic guild must've."

"Uhhh maybe because you're not exactly easy to get a hold of. In the last two days you've been here you've unconsciously closed like 5 windows."

"I DID WHAT?!?" Enfys hastily brought out a dagger and ripped a huge hole into space and it showed someone on the other side

It was a lady with long curly hair, clear olive toned skin, a small button nose, an exquisite robe filled with colours and shapes. She had a wand in her hand and she seemed to have been doing some work around her place. She didn't notice enfys at first but once she noticed him she showed a face of disgust and he showed the same amount of disdain on his face.

"Wow. How did you swing your dagger that wrong? Last time this happened you were drunk, sobbing and trying to call your now ex partner." She said in a sarcastic tone and and a smirk with her eyebrow twitching

"I was trying to reach my coven. I did not mean to open a window to a tropical bird with bad manners." Enfys answered with a cheerful expression.

"Uh-huh. Consider yourself lucky you got to see me in my new robe. Anyway your coven is already on its way to you so you have to worry about that." She answered and turned around getting back to what she was doing

"Im sorry what-" before he finished saying anything she snapped the portal shut

Everyone in the room was either horrified or snickering

Enfys turned around slowly and reached for a chair and sat there with a look on their face like they've seen hell with their own eyes.

"Soooo how many witches are we expecting now?" Asked someone who got pushed by everyone else into asking

Enfys gulped and said with a low tone

".....fifty four."

"What."

"Fifty. Four."

Everyone stared with their mouths wide open

"You may uh. Want to panic."

and right on que

They did

The archivists left the room screaming trying to tell everyone they can reach to get the ruler involved immediately

It caused such a ruckus ether woke up worried something went wrong

The second he opened the door he looked ready for a fight

Which scared everyone that was running there

And they ran away

Bun was confused and heard people down the hallway talking about what happened

He realized many witches will be here but didn't think it was a big deal and thought they were so dramatic

Before it clicked

Zatieons people CANNOT tolerate that many mages in one place

Bun didn't even bother putting anything on and was walking quickly around topless looking for aimanat or enfys or zaroth or anyone in authority; to see if he can help.

He bumped into aimanat

"Oof! Hey watch out, ether! This armour would have hurt you if you bumped into me with more force."

Aimanat seemed calm and ether assumed she didn't hear the news

"Uhhhh aimanat. Do you know what's going on?"

Aimanat seemed confused and looked around the place

It seemed she couldn't hear ether at all

"Im sorry i couldn't hear you- oh WAIT!" Aimanat slowly tilted her head to the side and some water fell from her ear, she tried to not tilt too hard so the water doesn't enter further from the other side, ether figured this was useful for when he gets into a similar situation so tried mimicking her to make note of it. After repeating that movement a few times she seemed to have regained her hearing completely and ether tried talking again before zaroth was heard yelling

More like screaming really

Aimanat and ether quickly rushed to where they are to see them hyperventilating and trying to calm down as the servants around kept fanning them

"MY RULER WHAT HAPPENED??? WERE YOU ATTACKED!? DID SOMETHING COME UP???"

"WORSE. THE COVEN IS COMING."

".....oh so that's all? My ruler they're certainly not that such awful guests, we've had some visiting us a few times. How many of the coven should i be preparing for?"

"All of them. All fifty four witches of the coven will be RIGHT AT OUR DOORSTEP AT ANY MOMENT!!!!"

Aimanat widened her eyes while ether looked worriedly at both of them

"......WHAAAAAAAT!????!?!!?!?"

she sat down on the nearest chair after yelling so loud

"Enfys has the most control of ALL OF THEM. We didn't even know they were a high mage until it was necessary to show reveal so. The rest of the coven is not NEARLY as discreet." Said zaroth trying to think out loud

" how are we supposed to contain the people when their ears are drumming??? How are we supposed to manage fifty four people??"

Enfys goes in hastily with a compass in hand pointing somewhere "YOU DON'T GOTTA. IM GOING TO MEET THEM HALFWAY AND I PRAY THEY DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS. ETHER, PUT SOMETHING ON AND COME WITH ME."

ether jumped a little before hurrying back to their room and coming back with the bed sheets covering him and something tied around his waist to make it look like a shirt.

"...huh you know, i kinda like it." zaroth blurted out, forgetting about the issue.

"Yeah its actually pretty nice- WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS LET'S GO!!" enfys pulled bun behind them to get them moving quickly. They left the castle and hurried to the nearest gate in that direction, As they reached edges of zatieon from where the coven was coming enfys casted a sliding spell and casted a strong wind that sent them zooming

Ether enjoyed it alot

They arrived at the edge of some lake

Ether stood up by enfys to see a black cloud moving quickly above the ground. It was the coven.

Some were on floating rocks and gems, some were in weird contraptions that propelled forward, Some came on mythical beasts, some were riding smoke shaped into horses and some were running on the wind.

Enfys gulped as he conjured something to freeze the lake over for them to take it as a sign to go straight to them. They understood.

On reaching enfys and ether they all got off their transportation methods and hurried over to them. Hugging enfys.

"Thank the ancient stones yer ok!!! We've been worried sick!!" Said an old man with sticks growing out of his hair and beard, his face round and full of wrinkles

"BELOVED SON OF MY SISTER. WHAT HATH THOSE MAGIC HATERS DONE TO THOU!!!" Yelled a lady with grey long hair that turned into cats with only front legs at the end. The cats were hissing with her and their hair stood on end as they floated around.

"IM FINE EVERYONE I PROMISE YOU!!! I've just been REALLY busy lately trying to look for the arch mage to help someone really important to me..." enfys said while looking at ether while smiling

The whole coven looked at him in turn

Bun awkwardly waved and his bubble showed "hi"

suddenly everyone cheered and was congratulating both as they swarmed them

"Congratulations are in order!!!! Everyone gather round!!! We need to congratulate enfys on this!!"

Everyone kept looking at ether and asking him questions he couldn't hear properly since they were all talking at the same time and his ears couldn't decipher it all, they were feeling his muscles and giving him many compliments

Enfys looked just as confused before deciding to put an end to this

"STOOOOOPPPP" he yelled, standing on a pedestal he just conjured from rock and getting everyone's attention.

"Just WHAT did you think was happening here?"

"You two are getting wed of course" answered someone from the crowd

"WH- I- EXCUSE- WHAT- HUH?????" enfys seemed flustered and out of words as he blushed

He noticed ether was also as flustered and he seemed shocked.

"OK NO SORRY EVERYONE WE'RE NOT GETTING WED IM JUST HELPING HIM WITH HIS CURSE!! sorry to get your hopes up"

They all went "awww" in unison

"What a shame."

"Oh woe. And here i thought we would be getting a reason to make use of our coven customs."

Ether has covered his face from embarrassment at this point and his tail was slightly wagging but enfys couldn't notice

"Yeah. Now can we talk about how you brought the whole coven INTO THE ONE NATION THAT COULD GO INSANE IF YOU GUYS JUST WALKED BY IT????"

everyone's reactions ranged from embarrassment to acting like they couldn't hear her.

"you didn't answer our calls and we couldn't reach you in anyway in a land where magic is legally limited!!! We were worried!" Hollered a lady in an orange dress that looked like a pumpkin with pumpkin stems tying her hair into a ponytail

"COME ON, EVERYONE!!! YOU KNOW I CAN HANDLE MYSELF"

"OI. DON'T GIVE US LIP YOUNG LAD. HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WERE THE ONE BLOCKING OUR LINKS."

"YEAH EVERYONE KNOWS ZATIEON HAS MAGIC WEAKENING SPELLS." Yelled a handsome muscular guy with full body armour that seemed to be made of volcanic stones, they were still glowing red from underneath and his red hair flowing upwards.

"ITS MAGIC WEAKENING NOT NULLIFYING- WHATEVER. POINT IS YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER!! IF IT WAS ONLY 3 OR 4 AT MOST THEN IT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM BUT EVERYONE??? HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO GATHER SO QUICKLY WEREN'T WE SCATTERED ACROSS THE GLOBE A FEW MONTHS AGO FOR THAT ONE MISSION???"

"Ya'mean the dandy lions infestation? Yeah that's under control........for now. YOU COME FIRST! so we used an instant teleportation spell, we were supposed to show up right in zatieon but the rest of the guild made it their job to mess with it."

"Let me guess: belasins handy work huh?"

"Eeeeyup." Answered a lady wearing a wide hat and leather boots with black pants and coat, straw covering her clothes slightly.

"No WONDER the window i opened to contact you went to her instead. She must've made sure any teleportation process you want to do go through her first. Hate to admit it; that's brilliant." Enfys exclaimed in annoyance

"ANYWAY since you guys are here you maybe able to help me find the arch mage cuz that is NOT going well."

They all exchanged looks in uncomfortable silence

".....what."

"So uhhhh we were thinking of taking a vacation soooooo we'll just leave you to it-" answered the guy with the red hair and stone armour before receiving a death glare by enfys

He backed away with his hands raised

Enfys massaged the sides of his head to calm his nerves

"Fine. I'll eventually find a way anyway and it's not like we're in a hurry. So what will you guys do now?"

"Uhhhh can we stay here? I mean- we can stay at the other side of the lake to be far from zatieon if that will help." Wondered a skinny girl in a tuxedo, wearing round glasses and holding a staff with a glowing golden orb

"I guess that's fair. Sorry for giving you a hard time its just this whole situation caused panic" Enfys sighed. " just... please try to not use too much magic together. The people of zatieon will not take kindly to having their eardrums blown."

"Oh its quite alright enfys, our new neighbours definitely understand the situation we have here." Exclaimed zaroth as the horse they were riding trotted slowly while aimanat walked beside them.

"I am the ruler of zatieon. I welcome you to our territory and hope we can all make a great connection with eachother."

The coven bowed slightly in respect "don't worry yer....uh.... rulership. We will be extra careful to not bother ya and yer people."

"I quite appreciate it high mage shikem"

"Ya'know me??"

"Of course. Im zaroth! You used to come to visit my father."

"And im aimanat. Its a pleasure to see you again uncle jikem." Aimanat said while Bowing slightly with a smile. Enfys saw her and realized she does this with all her first interactions.

"OHHHH YER JAN'S CHILDREN!! OH YE'VE GROWN ALOT!!! Looks like ya can't swap places to trick anyone anymore huh?"

All three of them laughed

"Yeah well ever since we started our military training it became impossible to ask bee to do that anyway for many reasons"

Enfys used this opportunity to hop off and go straight to ether

"Uhh sorry about that. My coven is like my second family and they witnessed almost all my relationships so they just want me to have a proper partner."

Ether was still blushing but seemed less flustered and smiled at enfys

"Its ok. They were all asking me things and complimenting how i look so it caught me off guard."

"Well im glad this was resolved. I hate to say it out loud but if it wasn't for belasin the guild would've been in an impossibly bad position with zatieon."

"Who is belasin?" Ether inquired expecting a rant from enfys

"Oh just some colleague from the guild in the wizards tower. We hate eachothers guts."

He seemed surprised that enfys gave such a short answer and took it as a sign to not ask any more

"Hey fefe! Wanna help us with the construction of our camp?"

"SHHHHH DON'T CALL ME THAT SO LOUDLY. FINE IM COMING." enfys sprinted towards the group leaving ether behind

Ether almost left with a sad expression before he felt enfys holding his hand and dragging him

"Nuh-uh you are NOT escaping this."

Enfys exclaimed before grabbing him

Ether was happy to be included.

He looked at enfys holding his hand and felt his heart thumping loudly. He didn't understand what was happening but bun didn't care and let themself be dragged.

And there sat avalos on a tree

Angrily biting an apple that seemed to have been roasted.

"Ugh. I'll just let him have his fun for now." Before she let herself fall into the ground and turn to black smoke and leaving the apple behind

[feuqueerfire]

The Sign Live Blogging

I was supposed to watch Only Friends after Pit Babe but then took over a week off of watching new shows because I had to write a Pete/Kenta fic and now instead of Only Friends, I'm watching The Sign.

I know incredibly little about this show except it involves Billy and a guy I don't know, there's monsters? sci-fi/fantasy elements? cops? I watched like a few tiktoks/gifsets from eps 1 and 2 but those didn't give away much. Also, there was angsty stuff going on in this show during that week when Pit Babe ep 10? aired and [redacted] [redacted] and Last Twilight was getting a lot of flack for ep 12 but I can't remember if it was because somebody died or not

Anyway, here we go, hope to love it, as always.

Ep 1 (Feb 20)

1-1

Ah, I for a split second wondered if that person was gonna betray them... but was like nah, this is just the beginning and we don't know anything, would they would that rn? maybe that look was meant to signify that he's gonna get himself killed by being stupid? but ig they would make him betray them (though was that a real hostage or also a dummy?)

ohhh we got powers here too? Jeff in Pit Babe needed to touch someone to see their future but ig it's just visions at random times here?

I wish the first 10 minute fight sequence was shorter because we knew nothing but the last 3-4 minutes was interesting because we see more of the characters at play beyond just fighting

1-2

Ah, it was a little educational test. I knew it was about cop training, so I guess this makes sense

Were the censored butts necessary lol

ohhh people don't believe Tharn can see the future and would make fun of him

Ohh Tharn's visions often include Phaya

Also at first I didn't get what iron rod they were talking about but I rewatched and seems like there are iron rods protruding from the poles

Man, Chart's gonna be like Winner (Pit Babe) isn't he? But maybe more skilled and so less pathetic but more dangerous? Equally annoying maybe?

Does Tharn like Phaya already?

Are the guys who keep calling each other Baby dating for real or is this a joke? So many dudes, can't keep track of who is who

omg are Tharn and Phaya becoming friends aw

I just realized from the comments Chart is Kawnah (from KawnahTurbo and TharnType's Lhong)

1-3

"a sign in your vision but couldn't stop it" oh is that why this is called The Sign

Oh Chart is gonna already? delightful

oh wtf, a sea monster?

woah gorgeous gorgeous beautiful sea monster for real, I was not expecting it to look so beautiful instead of kinda janky CGI

not the ethereal being reaching her hand out to rescue Phaya and that hand becoming Tharn's pulling him up

What's the thing Tharn always wanting to do

dang, that girl is Tharn? but like magical? his magical projection when he couldn't physically go to help Phaya?

not past life soulmates

Chart haunting this story by being annoying even after he's left goddamn

Shoulda dropped some money for the auntie before leaving for making a mess of her restaurant

Phi Yai so funny watching Tharn and Phaya run away hand in hand talking about feeling like his nong is about to fall in love

I'll be honest if i was a gay dude and my crush drew a girl who looked like me and had my name but again was a girl, I'd lose my shit

1-4

Why is P'Yai obsessed with Tharn and Phaya, it's so embarrassing for them >.<

ouuu not this random kiss

damn a Lieutenant died and was found in the water

Is the Lieutenant dead fr or no cuz why'd the other instructor kinda give Phaya the go-ahead to do some investigating on his own

man, Phaya and Tharn are so cute! At first during the 5 day training I'd thought they weren't friends but then became friends throughout it but obviously not

oh lol so the guys actually have something going on on-and-off

pls not Yai airing out everything about his bro including his single and virgin status

this bathroom scene why?? i'm so embarrassed but also shy

A tree? monster??

wtf how can you even drink to "Do you like someone at this table?" Like the answer is then obviously yes and the answers aren't very broad lol considering there are only 4 people and one of them is your brother. and there's also the guy that everybody is teasing you and him about

What a good first episode! I'm very intrigued both in terms of the romance (it's so cute idk like why do they interact in a way that makes me kinda shy) and the fantasy elements + mystery elements. The straight-up fighting elements are alright but I could do with less. Also, tragic that we're getting copaganda but oh well

Also, Pit Babe and The Sign started in November while Dead Friend Forever started in December. The people who watch these BLs weekly must've been having a ball with so many shows exploring new genres and high-concepts in BL. Also interestingly, both Pit Babe have Pavel and Billy who each have been in BLs before and lead them as one of the main pairs while their partners Pooh and Babe are new to the industry. Ta and the other guys apply a little less since Ta only had small roles before and Dead Friend Forever seems more ensemble cast but kinda similar ig

Ep 2 (Feb 20)

As expected, I have a hard time stopping watching a show when I start even though I have work to do.

Also, while looking for ep 1 gifs, I came across some stuff about the naga (snake) and eagle but I didn't read much into the post but I guess those creatures will feature prominently throughout the show

2-1

aghh I'd seen this hiding under blanket scene in a gif or tiktok or something before it's so aksldfj cute [or was it a kinda different scene? cuz feels like they were more giggly hmm]

Ah, Tharn wants to joing the Special Investigation Unit to investigate his dad's death (and Yai isn't related to him by blood)

Is Captain Akk with them? For now, I'm guessing he also wants answers and that's why he's wanting more evidence + telling Phaya to get evidence + not stopping the little group from investigating

2-2

But now he does seem kinda suspicious...

omg a siren call type thing?

hmm Phaya says that Tharn looks like the girl in his dream... was he sleepwalking when he started following the magical girl?

Oof they got caught but okay again, it seems like indeed the captains are also investigating the cause of death and are not against our main characters

2-3

gorgeous shot

ah, past lives talk again

now we have some real cops on our hands oof

oh wait hah they were taking 5 special investigation students and it just happens to be our 5 characters lol

so cute they're so cute omg

also glad that

I gasped out loud, whoever Tharn loves will die? omg, this show has Everything fr

2-4

ahhh no, that's probably not Phaya's gf, don't mourn, Tharn <- I say as somebody who is mourning

ack, Phaya is no annoying with intercepting the drink from Oat (random guy buying Tharn a drink) agh you're jealous, do you know that?

Wish the lyrics were translated

lol their Spin the Bottle never ends

The drinking obviously means the answer is yes, wtf don't be silly guys

Would Phaya have fr chosen Tharn? ah the questions

AND OF COURSE THEY'RE LONG LOST CHILDHOOD FRIENDS why would they not be? I'd thought they'd mention that Phaya also lives at the same province as Tharn and Yai when it was mentioned earlier in 2-3 (Nong Khai?) but then they didn't but I guess they indeed met each other at kids at that province

Yai in his drunken state still making Phaya give Tharn a piggyback ride and take him to his condo

Ah, this is what the "Billy and Heng playing enemies instead of friends" was about

Didn't mean to watch the Ep 3 teaser but omg Phaya has prophetic dreams or something?

I'm really into like... Billy's physicality? I don't know how to word this, just the way he carries himself, I guess. It's very Boy and I'm envious but it's also attractive

Ep 3 (Feb 21)

Watching this in the dark on my iPad at 2am

3-1

ah how do i feel about a love triangle hmmm like theoretically it could be good idk some passive aggressiveness and jealousy amongst the suitors. also saw something about the lore behind it like heng’s character is the naga who has loved Than forever vs Phaya is some eagle guy who is Tharn’s one true love who is meant to die over and over omg??

15th day of the 11th waxing moon seems an important day, Phaya used to dream of the magical girl only on that day but now he dreams of her more often

3-2

oh lol i straight up thought they were all already in Nongkai cuz that conversation had insinuated they’d all meet at Nongkai for some reason. this makes more sense

oh did Tharn do some people wrong in his past life and they are still after him for vengeance?

lol why is Phaya so surprised about the amulet thing, he had a big hunch from last night

ah, so Tharn has bad karma from his past life and his life is intertwined with Phaya’s who will make him experience bad things but can also free him fr the bad karma

Ah, Tharn gave Phaya the amulet on the night of 15th day of 11th waxing moon and that’s when the dreams used to happen. i guess that’s why Phaya said he needs to go to where the dreams started and came to this temple on this day

the first time the childhood amulet thing came up i was like lol not this childhood friends who forgot each other again trope but this is actually such a good interpretation of it. they met at this festival where Phaya was drowning and Tharn saved him after seeing a vision, similar to how many times Tharn has seen him in a vision + has saved him from drowning whether it be himself or his last girl self. and also the amulet that started Phaya’s dreams

and it’s not like the trope of perfectly fine adult relationship that had random childhood backstory for no reason. this one is that the reason they even have this adult friendship and crush is because they met each other that time and were told they’ll meet again since their lives are intertwined ah Phaya dreamt of the naga often as a child

ah so many things happening. so the naga keeps calling Phaya to the water or is it the girl? and the naga wants to drown him under there but Tharn’s past life girl/Tharn in this life doesn’t allow it?

and these last words are so heavy lol protect each other and undo your bad karmas

3-3

this Naga said No Peace for Phaya

The Naga festival and cave and myths are so cool

3-4

what??? i was like aw at the cheek kiss but then the liplick goodnight kiss happened and i was literally like is this a dream? is it just that Phaya is drunk and so is actually kissing Tharn like he wants to?

On the one hand, who gives a fuck if a serial killer is killing rapists, let it go - so annoying if cops and the justice system can't keep rapists off the streets but can put the people behind killing rapists behind bars agh

On the other hand, killer seems to just be the mastermind and forcing other people to do their dirty work and murder is too big of a thing to force people to do so agh I suppose they should stop them

Also, is this gonna be related to the Lieutenant's death at all or are we forgetting about that one? the methods of killing are different though

Not as many comments, esp in the last 2 parts despite the episode being like over 80 mins or smth cuz I was watching on my iPad and sometimes had my phone with me to write thoughts down and sometimes didn't.

Continues to be intriguing, put out so many different threads and it feels like we got a few answers but so many more questions.

Also, I didn't realize the actress playing Sand is a trans woman but yay, employing trans people let's gooooo and in roles that aren't making a fool of them either!

Ep 4 (Feb 21)

4-1

Noooo okay fuck this killer mastermind I can't believe they made the woman who was sexually assaulted by some dude and then had her case dismissed was forced to kill him under duress

omg the stepson who was raped by his stepfather and was forced to kill him, this killer is literally forcing the victims to kill the perpetrators and it must be so horrifying to kill somebody but, like the woman said, she was glad that he was dead and wouldn't be able to harm anybody

clown mask

ah this investigation itself could be a 12-16 ep procedural kdrama, I wonder how they're gonna deal with this as a side plot in this already high-concept show

Oh yeah, I didn't recognize Surprise (from SCOY) in last ep but he's the IT kid

got food to eat lunch as they're eating dinner but it's so hard to type now

who is this fortune-telling, face-changing, snake-bracelet wearing woman?

4-2

what is going onnnnn

oh kissing??? and caressing

a dream ofc makes sense. since that ep 3 kiss was real i thought may be this was as well

was that tharn in the pic that shattered

lmfao the finger in egg + licking it off + "I like it raw" ??

and then the sausage eating ahh Tharn let Phaya suck your dick, he's going crazy

hehe Phaya caught in his broken bike excuse

Tharn's secretiveness regarding Phaya spending the night makes it seem so much more salacious than it was

oh damn, it was just 3 days ago that Meena was kidnapped and forced to kill that guy?

ah, I don't remember her name but one of the SCOY girls!

fungal spores in their lungs, not gonna lie it reminds me of To Sir With Love mushrooms lol

Ah, I did wonder if somebody in their little quintuple (+ the boss Akk) was gonna betray the team but I suppose one of them could also be behind the mastermind killer

Why'd the criminal lowkey look like Akk?

Anyway, I kinda like that in 1-1 combat, Phaya wins over Tharn but Tharn's always out here saving Phaya because he can see when he's in danger heh

Also funny because the Abbot and the mystery woman was like never let go of Tharn and that Phaya's gonna help Tharn get rid of his bad karma, meanwhile Tharn's protecting Phaya all the time. guess it'll be balanced eventually

Ah, Phaya casually talking about getting stabbed to death and how it'd be solely his fault, nothing to do with Tharn. Meanwhile, Tharn has seen Phaya in near-death experiences like 5 times in his visions and saved him so far but is haunted by the experiences

4-4

Is it Akk and he's covering for himself by saying no fingerprints? Reminds me of Beyond Evil where Park Jeongje's fingerprints appeared in the forensics results but they made it disappear hmmm

pls not Tharn being like k whatever as he's jealous about Phaya and new girl Dao vs Phaya being like lemme Intervene as he's jealous about

Phaya is so annoying omg

Oof, did Tharn tell the doctor guy (man I can't remember Heng's character's name beyond it starting with C and similar to Shortcut) about Phaya's nightmares? Or did Doctor man come to find out about it some other way (since he's also connected to them via lifetimes? Is he sending nightmares and trying to drown Phaya on purpose or anything?)

Ah, so Doctor is decidedly a troublemaker/antagonistic and not accidentally so

omg Phaya is really angry (and violent :/)

AI to construct a face under a mask and hood, be serious girl, this cannot possibly be accurate

Okay, if this last murder is being done by the killer himself to avenge his sister who was raped and committed suicide, I think we should let him play it out. arrest him afterwards lol

I hope they clarify next ep that Tharn didn't tell the doctor about the dreams because he would never do that

Next ep has 5 parts woah and is gonna be like ~80 mins of runtime, these are pretty long episodes but don't feel that long and I don't feel the need to speed it up (except I think I did 1.1x once and also wanted to skip some of the gratuitous butt shots/that dream shower scene lol though I didn't)

I was kinda avoiding watching the dream sex scene (watched it in mini on the corner of my screen lol) and so I didn't have too many thoughts except once Phaya wrapped his palm around Tharn's neck. But going through people's gifsets, I've seen a few mentions of how we know this is a manifestation of Tharn's desires, whether it be the choking kink lol or liking getting pushed around dommed and that it's fun to actually get to see his fantasy like that. honestly a FAVE aspect when I think about it that way like aw his desire to be manhandled

Ep 5 (Feb 21)

I'm hungry and want to get dinner but am afraid that there'll be too much genetelia talk and will lose my appetite... maybe I'll gauge how gross it's gonna be first

Also, accidentally thought Ep 5 aired on Dec 24 and so ended up looking at tumblr posts made on Dec 23 (actual date it came out) and so was spoiled that the forensic guy was scheming with the murderer guy for this serial killing

5-1

oof shoulder check

okay I lied, I got too hungry and got dinner but am now gonna be unable to type for at least part 1 probably cuz food hands

okay I'm done eating and gotta say that hmmm too violent

Phaya is just too physically violent in his anger, especially the fact that he deliberately punched the wall beside Tharn's head and also accidentally backhanded him but didn't apologize. like I know we're meant to catch the range of emotions in his face, including guilt and apology for accidentally hitting but he purposefully doesn't apologize and yeah, nope

oh this fucker, why can't they just use this rapist as bait to catch the killer, why does he need to be protected. innocent man my ass

hm, the smaller black van is gonna get crashed into by a big white truck and the killer is seen with the van... is the rapist guy gonna be in the van when it crashes?

yess tomato tomato!

5-2

Man, they really had to have these killers force other people to do the first 3 murders in order to gain the audience support to stop the killer because like... what even is the reason for stopping them? If the cops and judicial system are gonna be useless, I think the little team should def kill this man as he's the reason their younger sister or gf is dead. should've teamed up to kill those other fuckers too tbh instead of involving the victims

let's kill him quickly (and painfully) before the cops come to stop you!

"I promise you that I will not let you die so easily" I get your need for torture but there are cops hunting you right now so hm

nah, not the amulet!

oh? is this guy naga too? the water magic thing?? also I think I saw a gif of Phaya fighting the killer and he had firey wrapped-up palms?

5-3

omg? Tharn taking the knife for Phaya and then somehow having red magic that defeats the blue man killer?

and he got a trinket? did Tharn get it from inside the killer? Was the killer wearing it?

oh hohoho Phaya saying he'll do everything Tharn says is really doing it for me

"The laws you worship and look up to can never keep those bastards behind bars for long" tell 'em. need these fuckass cops to be brought down a peg and get a sense of reality

rolled my eyes at Phaya's "There's the justice you're looking for. It might show up late but it will always come in the end." you cannot be this naive

that video the sister before she died was so fucked man i'm so sad now

stupid ass pep-talk from Captain Akk or whatever "I don't want a loser on my team" okay kys

enough copaganda, let's go back to the fantasy and romance and stuff because this story arc was so sad

Ah, so the car crash vision hasn't manifested yet

Or is that related to his parents death??

5-4

Ah, wearing the amulet again

pls Phaya prepping to make his moves

plssss both of them in their little fantasies

"I want to do just as you did to me" What? You wanna blow him? I acc have no clue why I'm so on the Phaya giving Tharn a blowjob train

not even little fantasies, incredibly long fantasies for both of them like okay Enough

but so funny like okay at least the first fantasy was Tharn dreaming but then he was getting off on that dream again the next morning in the kitchen while cooking and now here's Phaya with his fantasy while awake and mid-conversation

and also hilarious that Tharn's fantasy was like hand around neck + shower while Phaya's is... Tharn blowing on his wound like 40 times lol

Phaya's foiled plans

Oh, that's the gif I saw. Bandaged hands + black smokey magic from Phaya while grabbing Doctor by the shoulder??

lol Phaya speaking to Doctor as if he has any right to control who hangs around Tharn and to what degree. you forget yourself

"Until your time in done" ???

Ohh Phaya burned? Doctor's shoulder omg

not the sponge bath lmfao

lkasdfj the quick 123

Ah, Phaya being the bolster tonight

Phaya's taking advantage of sleeping Tharn fr but lol sure. I wonder if Tharn's also kinda awake lol

Phaya's dream: Freen magic woman -> Tharn and behind Phaya, very big eagle man (which is supposed to be him I guess?)

What happened this ep? Most of the beginning was focused on catching the killer, then the fantasy & staying over at Tharn's place, then being cute toward grandma. But stuff that happened in the middle: the killer can't remember what happened in the cellar but he def had magic (blue) and so did Tharn (red) - which he used to defeat the killer, Doctor and Phaya face-off where Phaya had black? coloured magic which burned Doctor - I wonder how much doctor knows? about the myth/past life stuff, the temple man (Luangpur?) told Tharn that Doctor and Phaya shouldn't meet. Then finally, the dream where we get Freen magic lady, kinda confirmation that she's indeed Tharn (this life), and also a visual of that tall eagle man. Also, from gifs, I realized that the amulet or whatever Tharn used to defeat the killer was his own, he tore it from his neck

Ep 6 (Feb 22)

6-1

I love the eagle fr I'm obsessed w the beautiful Naga from ep 1 too

ahhh lesbians !!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe

I don't care that much about this side couple and their backstory, let's hurry it up

lmfaooo okay funny but I would've murdered someone if all my papers went into the water like that

SCOY mention

huh?? Tharn dated someone and they died?

5-2

Why did Dao's actor become worse at acting? :( I think the script here is just bad because why would a character just recite these things? and they made her cross some lines with her "advice" about Phaya like you guys may be close but you can't say that you think he should quit his work lol

the triangulations lmfao I'm glad that even though Dao seems to care for Phaya a lot, she doesn't necessarily like him like that?

heh Nee coming to sus out if Phaya and Dao were ever a thing

and Phaya clocking that Nee and Dao are into each other lol

I like their little sibling relationship full of teasing but also Nee trying to guide Phaya into grandma's good graces

Dang, what's this painting the man thought was sold at the gallery about?

Okay, in this universe, it's just like ours where the stories of Naga and Garuda are thought to be myths/legends. I kept getting confused how much regular people believed because everybody seemed to believe whatever the monk said but that involved a lot of fantastical aspects + the Naga festival, so I wasn't sure what people in general believed (not just what Phaya and Tharn who are like reincarnations or smth of magical creatures believe lol)

6-3

pls let Tharn and Phaya have scenes together this section

oh man Phaya’s tendency to just do instead of speak and also drag Tharn around is kinda… agh

dang Doctor straight up said he’d seerate the two of them even if it means Tharn dies

oof punch but can’t quite blame Tharn

6-4

art something or other, who is this suspicious guy?

Was too sleepy to write anything for 6-4 but I have half-baked thoughts about the punch ig. On some YT comments and tiktok comments, I saw people annoyed at Tharn for not believing Phaya and people were calling him too stubborn and naive. I do think he should've taken Phaya's warnings/dreams more seriously cuz like girl, you're always seeing visions of him in danger so it can't be that much of a stretch to think he dreams of you in danger c'mon. But I also think Phaya is kinda too vague and doesn't explain properly like he can't just expect to burst in and physically drag Tharn away from Doctor who he has known for years and years and trusts; in contrast, Phaya and Doctor fought and Phaya even physically pushed him or whatever. So I get Tharn being like wtf... and also Phaya being desperate.

I hope they make up next ep (properly. through conversation and honesty and understanding) so that we can get them together again though bc we barely had them together this ep and unfortunately unlike Pit Babe ep 11 where the other characters were able to carry the ep w/o much Babe or Charlie, I don't care as much about the characters here.

Ep 7 (Feb 22)

7-1

As a mix of Death's Game murder artist + last ep's ending where Tharn saw someone (I'm assuming this guy) in a room maybe killing someone with red everything, I thought this guy (Art?) was gonna kill his (ex?)-lover. I still think that's the case cuz of the ending with all the red paint probably hiding the blood but lol at first, I literally thought the guy was asking to be killed and used to Art's painting lmfao but nah he wasn't that devoted, mans was getting married to someone else anyway

Anyway, cool idea, will be cooler once we realize he killed him

7-2

My biggest rip is that Wi can actually act while Dao's actress cannot, so I wish the actresses were switched or Nee's love interest was Wi

hm, so the VIP is the Minister Montree and we didn't get any visions or anything but Inspector Akk kinda makes me think he's behind Lieutenant Tam's death and I wonder if Tharn thinks he's behind his parents' death or at least the coverup. I also just realized is this the guy they were saying has ties to drug stuff that Lieutenant Tam was investigating and the rapist from last ep is tied with him too but they can't interrogate the rapist about him?

lol they talked about this after I wrote allthat

hmm Art said "That's too evill" before maybe puncturing the guy with a pen... so did that man himself suggest it?

I wish the camerawork focused on the art and dance better since it went on for so long

7-3

"To me, a guy named Kao, is already dead" oh man

Why is Phaya as a guest restraining the woman when there are so many cops who came to volunteer or whatever lmfao

Anyway, I thought they were gonna maybe pretend this was also part of the exhibition before he accidentally cut her (with the same pen that killed Kao? and was maybe gonna stab Montree with?)

Is Doctor doing some sort of dark influence/magic on Art? and the way he's physically touching Art on his thigh and then his chest over his heart and then hugging him... no.

okay atp Tharn Has to be kinda suspicious of Doctor knowing about Phaya's dreams/conditions and why he's using it against Phaya (and publicly too) and idk the way he's undermining Phaya like that... is he trying to make other people think of him as hysterical? As if he'd have an outburst similar to Art? but then Phaya almost becomes violent - strengthening Doctor's position...

ah yes, just casual handing over patient records to the cops <3 esp because Art isn't like... actually in jail or anything, idek what they're holding him based on. just cuz of a public outburst and possibly suspicion of maybe a reason behind Kao being missing? like c'mon cops are so fucking shit

bruh why are these cops just saying anything and everything about the case in front of the doctor? dumbasses

7-4

Tharn can see into a painting like this?

The Art and Kao hallucination (?) is so eerie, everything about this is so eerie, I really like it

omg so Kao was really selling the art and betraying Art

I love love love the spliced scene from that night and the same scene in a white room as Tharn and Phaya watch it (I'm assuming Art is recounting it?)

crazy ass pen to be able to rip somebody's throat open and kill them just like that

Oh, so they don't think Art has something to do with Kao's disappearance... but does that man disappearance of Kao the alive man (maybe he ran away abroad with Montree lol and that's how Montree had known to whisper to Art about it being the pen that hurt Kao) or his dead body?

okay at least the pen didn't kill Kao the way they were insinuating lmao I was like tf kinda pen

7-5

I actually cannot, Phaya and Doctor must be Stopped

oh confession ahhhhhh <333

lmfao I'm watching the shower scene in mini on the side lol too much for me

It Continues like okay Enough i'm like watching in mini with 1 eye only enough enough enough i'm so embarassed/shy I think after barely watching anything for so long and then only recently starting watching shows again that have NC scenes (kinda Law of Attention, Pit Babe, and now this) means that I've lost a lot of the tolerance I've built up against it lmfao

Ep 8 (Feb 22)

5 episodes left and they're each fairly short compared to some other ones (each is less than an hour I think?) so I hope they have proper time to wrap everything up in a satisfying way, esp with all the fantasy going on

8-1

omg? The book flipping to Doctor's face to make it seem like he's watching it all was creepy enough last ep but now he tried to kill Phaya via magic dream?? and only stopped because the monk woke Tharn up

I hope Tharn starts actually thinking about the Doctor critically now

They're so cute, I'm glad we can have cute Phaya and Tharn back for a bit because they were really upset with each other for the past 2 eps (and then resulting sex scene but that's still not cuteness yknow)

8-2

Having Phaya promise to not leave... sad if he does end up getting hurt/leaving/whatever and ironic if it's Tharn instead

Wait I'm so confused? Was the Doctor somehow shrouding Tharn and that's why Phaya couldn't see him?

omg even making Phaya see an illusion of Tharn, then once Phaya gets in the water, taking control of him

8-3

oh we finally get to see the past

Also this other world reminds me of Midnight Museum a bit

hm Tharn plays the past "sister" Wansa? I'd expected Freen... but maybe they don't wanna have to have Billy and Freen in such romantic situations etc

I'm South Asian but not Indian or Hindu, so it's very interesting to see these costumes/myths which are vaguely familiar but I'm not fully aware of because idk much about Hindu concepts beyond like the most well-known gods and festivals

ngl I'm slightly confused still but sure

The amlet is Wansarut's original SOUL? damn girl

ENOUGH of calling Wansarut her nong sao/younger sister. Tharn isn't a girl in this life at least, so say nong if you must why are you saying your sister and Phaya are in love when Tharn's now your brother agh

Bad CGI but I forgive because all the Thai show CGI has looked like this I think?

8-4

Kao died in the waters... I wonder if Doctor had something to do with it with his evil water magic since he knew Art and stuff and used Art as a way to get into the investigation...

oh never mind, killed somewhere else and dumped here

why not at least say Yai follow that man with me!

ohhhh that car crash vision was actually a flashback of him and his parents

ah, the scene with Tharn screaming while holding Phaya's still body

I commented about the gender thing like why are we doing Tharn as a girl bc it was kinda... why are we actually just pretending the character who is seemingly the bottom [I mean they're vers to Me but idk about canon lol] and sexually submissive is the girl fr instead of having an actual woman play Wansarut but then I saw a post that said that actually she takes on a female form under water but took on a male form above ground and yay gender fuckery and i'm like okay nice sure, I love gender fuckery.

I wish we got... slightly more time and a more coherent story that Showed the past life story better. I think this show is good with broad themes and parallels and characterization but kinda struggles sometimes with specific moments/scenes, which can make it kinda confusing or unsatisfying - this scene of the past life kinda feels like that to me.

Ep 9 (Feb 23)

9-1

yep Tharn is def gonna be like fuckkk ppl whom I love with die because I love them (and i mean in this case Doctor is making that true) and probably gonna withdraw and breakup after Phaya wakes up

since that Eye Contact moment with Montree’s bodyguard in ep 7? or whatever art gallery, it’s been clear this guy is suspicious and behind some stuff

Montree got Tharn parents killed and wants to kill him now

9-2

Okay so at least Inspector Akk seems to be on the hood side and also knows way more about the case like Korn (the bodyguard?) was behind this

who is Akk talking to?

The disparity between Ning and Dao’s actinng skills is just too much, why didn’t they make Dao be played by Wi the art gallery woman or Marys the forensic officer who are both better at acting ahhh

9-3

huh? why doesn’t Phaya have the Naga amulet? it came off in the water or something?

this is just silly what is even happening

wtf Chart? is that even a fr tattoo? Montree got someone else to get the tattoo/join the gang to throw ppl off his own trail or what

9-4

hopefully a real break from the cop stuff even though ig Tharn’s gonna investigate on his own

I wish Phaya would explain more to Tharn rather than being so cryptic

plssss man snuck out of her hospital to not only meet his past life love but also to have sex despite nearly dying for a few days

aw I wish this NC scene was longer, I’m kinda better at hanging these soft and loving sex scenes more than the crazy shot Horny desperate ones I think?

Also, Phaya kissing down from Tharn's chest and staying kinda on stomach in a similar fashion to how Tharn did it to Phaya during the shower sex scene... I'm gonna take it to allude to Phaya finally sucking Tharn's dick, I've waited for this moment for multiple episodes

Ep 10 (Feb 23)

10-1

Okay, discussion, good! And Phaya didn't tell Tharn about the Doctor but that's because the Abbott told him not to, so it's okay IMO

And it's a cute scene with the cuddling and just so domestic with how casual it is

Phaya was so desperate to make sure Tharn was okay (and also thirsty for that dick...) that he forgot to bring his phone or inform his grandmother and sister like omg

10-2

Phaya is so cute puppy as he's apologizing

Yai shut uppppp the music and vibes makes it seem like Grandma's gonna be okay but what if she wasn't and you outed them D:

pls the Grandma being like "Give me a second" before asking Phaya what the important thing he wants to say is aklsdfj so funny

Awww so supportive and cute T-T

Khem suspecting Inspector Akk of being in cahoots with Montree

SCOY and Gap mention

10-3

dang, is someone in the unit gonna betray them again? We already had Wit or whoever

ah, Tharn overhearing Phaya and the abbott about Doctor... Can I hope he won't do anything stupid lol

lmfao the grandmas complaining, so true

Tharn wants to quit his job after solving his father's case and just stay with his grandma? girl I wish I was rich omg

10-4

agh, Korn and Khom are same person then right? Cuz they're not consistent in naming

oof, Ning dead

lmfao I saw a post w the pic of the "A tiger-man is not real" line by Phaya with caption whatever you say bird-man like so true

everything converging in Nongkai i suppose

Ep 11 (Feb 23)

One episode until hopefully tomorrow morning it's ep 12? Cuz then it's perfect timing. Otherwise, it'll suck lol

11-1

Is the tiger-man and the person died related to this Montree drug ring

Is the instructor knowing about the visions gonna backfire or anything?

So many times people just overhear things lol like Ep 4 Phaya overhearing Tharn and Yai talking about the visions, Ep 10 Tharn hearing Phaya and Abbott talking about Doctor and stuff, and now Khem overhearing Phaya and Tharn discuss his footprints lol

No I get Tharn cuz it's like why does my lover claim to be so jealous of this guy who I've known for years and trust? To Tharn, it feels like Phaya doesn't trust Tharn

oh oops, he doesn't believe Phaya even he's told directly anyway, which I feel like is theoretically understandable like wtf are you even saying Phaya but if you believe the rest of it with past lives and naga and garud, then this is like yeah sure i suppose that makes sense lol + I thought he overheard Phaya and Abbott but no I guess??

ooh cool shot about the grandma to the flashback

omg ?? Doctor in child Tharn's room talking about how they'll be together when the times comes um ??

10-2

Oh, I just realized that the man who Inspector Akk was speaking with was actually probably Chart. like he's there to infiltrate and give info to Akk (and that's also why he hasn't resigned as a cop maybe)

sorry everytime Phaya's exasperated about the Tiger Man, I want him to be more real. like girl you believe you are a Garud reincarnated who is in love with Naga princess reincarnation and have been lovers in the past lifetime(s) and also that a current Doctor is actually a Naga like right now in his own current lifetime. your boyfriend has visions and you have dreams.

10-4

Dang, the cliff falling and surviving should’ve been more exciting I feel like? kinda feels like History 3: Trapped when Tang Yi and Shaofei got out of the forest out of screen lol

ah im really into the last scene bc it’s once again giving vers switch framing with the way that Tharn’s palm is not Phaya’s neck this time + That is sitting slightly taller than Phaya who has to look up at him

I feel like even with a 15 min longer ep they could’ve made part 4 more emotionally charged on-screen idk i might be nitpicking also, so funny cuz I thought Ep 12 was gonna be airing at 11am or so but then I finish watching this ep at like 9:04 or smth and see The Sign ep 12 live premiere schedule recommended on my YT feed and part 1 is airing right now cuz apparently the ep is releasing at 9 ig

Ep 12 (Feb 24)

Accidentally read a couple words of BLupdate's tweet for the ep and apparently Doctor sacrifices his soul? interesting ig

12-1

Doesn't trust anybody but does trust Chart lol

Okay but atp someone (else) from their unit Has to betray them right? Like Inspector Akk has mentioned it so many times

extremely hilarious to have Phaya who was limping around moments ago and Tharn go in guns blazing in casual clothes while all the other cops are in full gear and bulletproof vests etc

Do any of these gunshots from either side injure/kill anybody at all lmfao

oh finally some ppl (villainous) just drop dead from the shots lol

12-2

agh, Yai and Sand are honestly so cute >.<

So funny for Phaya to be talking about protecting Tharn like yes agree but throughout the show, Tharn has definitely protected you much more lol

Ah, I'm noticing the lighting choices after reading posts about it like the bokeh effect for Phaya and the concentrated warm colours for Tharn

Okay, I can watch this subdued and softer version of sex scene more than the desperate/erratic first one

okay lol ended up skipping last minute or so though heh

10-3

omg gorgeous, beautiful shots and directing and acting for Phaya finding Tharn gone and the whole desperate sequence with the grandma, Yai, the Abbott etc

Ah, Phaya saying that even if hadn't remembered their past lives and past loves, he still would have loved Tharn in this current life, exactlyyyyy that's what I wanna hear

The endless number of times (well, 3) Tharn runs in front of Phaya to protect him

12-4

noo he was taken to the Naga cave and is gonna recover, trust. maybe the Doctor is gonna sacrifice his soul or something to save him, who knows heh

From the flashbacks here and in part 3, I do miss the earlier days when we knew there was Lore but didn't know it yet and they were just cute and such. I very often feel this with paranormal fantasies where the earlier parts of knowing there's something happening but not yet knowing and slowly discovering is my favourite part - when things are simple, yet intriguing

wait I have a question, did Khem die or what? like is he just in the hospital?

Also, Billy in this hospital room looks a bit like Saint?

omg I was like who is that with the long hair but it's Phaya, I guess it has been many months

ah, I was wondering if it'll be 15th days of 11th waxing moon again for Tharn to come home and yeah, guess it's been a whole year fr

man, I wish the meeting again had a bit more fanfare because the despair was done so well, c'mon

Ah, so Doctor didn't die, just gave Tharn his Naga soul to keep him alive but I guess that doesn't kill the Doctor, idk. and he's letting them love each other now

Aw cute but again, anti-climactic and not enough relief, not enough time, not enough emotional impact. I wish they had maybe shown some of Tharn's time there (though that might've taken a bit away from Phaya's desperate situation? idk)

Update: lol I didn't realize there was a little after-credits scene with Saint cameo and season 2 bait

no fr what is that ending, Tharn stayed with Doctor for a year on purpose? and Doctor decided to just get over it? And so Tharn appears all casually over the hill a year later? Seriously needed a stronger ending.

Overall:

I think I liked the first few eps and the potential of the series and the possibilities more than I liked the actual series oof. Since everybody freaking loved this, I also had high expectations.

I just went through the gifs I'd reblogged (I reblogged A Lot cuz I thought I'd end up liking the show more than I ended up liking. went and deleted a bunch bc I was like why did I even reblog this one, what's the point) and I really did like more of the show's gifs from the earlier eps (whereas I enjoyed the analysis and stuff more in the later eps). Don't even feel like reblogging any ep 11 or 12 stuff now though, except maybe the checking under bed sequence. It was also just clear from how invested I was in an episode while watching because in the earlier eps, I was paying more attention and watched an ep in one sitting whereas in the latter half, I would pause in the middle of a section to go on my phone or even just stop watching the ep after a section, do stuff and then come back to finish.

I thought there would be more focus on the romance and fantasy and past lives aspect and less on the cop activity. Like there was no need to spend That much time on the rapist killer case nor Art and Kao's case, we could've spent that time on something like following up on what Lieutenant Tam had learned and the drug case/Tharn's father's case more directly along with more of the actual past lives and fantasy and such. In fact, we got so little about their past lives, I thought there were 4 cycles or something?

I don't know man, I feel like they didn't choose the correct things to show on screen? This sucks because they clearly put in So Much Effort and tried so many new things for BL, so I wish I had loved it more and was more attached.

I think most of the fight scenes and stuff were confusing and not choreographed very well and some interactions/moments/explanations needed to like have more time dedicated to them. However, some moments were just shot/directed so beautifully like ep 11 when grandma is going through the flashbacks of seeing Doctor with Tharn as a child and uni student etc from that single room and ep 12-3 when Phaya wakes up to find Tharn gone, looks under the bed, and the whole sequence after that. (Unfortunate that the reunion scene was so meh).

So many parallels and gifsets of parallels, I keep having to remember my parallels tag is for across different shows while compilation in the tag for same show. I enjoy the parallels and the thought put behind them. It also shows like the cyclical nature of Phaya and Tharn's lives, and it would've been even more impactful if we saw more of their past lives (the original one or the 2 that occurred in the middle apparently).

Highly doubt I'm gonna think of the characters again, I somehow stopped being attached to them about halfway through. Really wanted to give it at least a 7 for trying so many things but don't think it earned it sadly. They tried so many things, as shown in the list of tropes below, but I don't think they satisfyingly merged them or chose the correct things to focus on on-screen.

Running list of tropes: A mix of romance and fantasy lol

Monsters and Cryptids: Sea Monster (naga?), the woman Freen is playing, that tree dude (whatever happened to him? Was that Doctor or something?). Update: the monsters/dieties are the main characters themselves

Police training/cop academy

Murder mystery + a Serial Killer murder mystery + drug ring bust

Tharn seeing the future/people in danger (specifically often seeing Phaya in danger)

Past lives/reincarcation/soulmates

The person Tharn loves will die

Childhood friends (who Tharn gave the locket to). Update: just a fated childhood meeting more like

Does Spin The Bottle count lmao

Love triangle

Lesbians, let's go

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

[sohin-ace]

Jolyne - No Ordinary Girl

Mermaid Y/N x Surfer Jolyne

Today was a particularly fitting day to go to the beach. Jotaro had taken Jolyne, Hermes and Foo Fighters to the shore. He mostly went for some observation and the girls decided they would take advantage of the nice weather for some surfing.

It was not long after they arrived and started installing themselves that Jolyne and Hermes' eyes fell into very familiar faces.

Annasui, upon seeing the group, walked towards the girls with a confident stance, making sure his long hair was flowing in the wind.

"Oh look who we have here. The ladies victory." Annasui exclaimed, before completely falling heart-eyed, his voice and tone softening, dreamy even, at the sight of his object of worship. "Hi Jolyne~"

"Oh! Weather Report's there! Hi Weas!" Jolyne called out to the older man arranging a parasol a few feet behind, her completely ignoring the pink haired-male that seemed to have come with him. He waved shortly at Jolyne in response.

"Anyways, what are you guys up to?" Hermes asked, sipping on some lime flavored granita.

"Well, as you can see..." He pointed at the ocean, "We just wanted to take a day to work out a bit, but the waves are real nice today."

He leaned in not so subtly towards Jolyne, despite Hermes' evident judging gaze.

"But you know what else is real nice today?" He brought his hand up to cup Jolyne's chin, but before he could even say or do anything, Jolyne leaned away and pointed behind him.

"Oh wow! My dad's coming back with drinks!" She called nonchalantly, looking behind Annasui like he was more transparent than air itself.

"...! DRINKS?! DRINKS!!" Foo Fighter gasped, pushing the feminine man off to the side with such force, he fell and slid against the sand.

"Hey, Jojo," Hermes tapped her friend's shoulder, "Let's show these pendejos how girls ride waves."

The Asian American smirked, eager to show who's boss and always ready to follow on her best friend's mischief. "I'm racing you then."

"Pfft, I won't go easy girlfriend." The Mexican cracked her knuckles and grabbed her plank.

After surfing for long enough and being outran by Jolyne's stamina, Hermes decided to go back and sunbathe next to F.F's who was playing cutely with sand.

Jolyne glided full speed over the water, the wind and droplets of salty water refreshing her skin. More than competition, Jolyne loved the acceleration, the adrenaline, the sweet fresh air through her long hair. When she was surfing, Jolyne's heart lightened up and her mind purged of any negative thoughts, anxiety, fears.

She was at peace.

Before she could enjoy the sweet taste of her peace of mind though, she caught up to a blond surfer in front of her who she recognized as she got closer. Oh god, not him of all people.

"Oh, hey! Isn't that the sexiest surfer in all Miami?" Romeo teased, admiring the girl who gained up on him, "Not bad, look at you go! Who knew my little Jojo would be so talented, hot damn!"

Jolyne frowned and clicked her tongue. She swore if she wasn't so focused on staying in balance, she would drown him on the spot. He laughed obnoxiously, satisfied with being a disgusting excuse of a human.

"Romeo, I swear to fuckin-"

Before she could even finish her sentence, something, a gigantic fish tail appeared out of the wave and flicked itself right accross the blonde, slapping him off of his plank with a painful sound.

"HUAARGHH-" He screamed before crashing into the water with the splash and disappearing behind Jolyne.

"O-OH MY GOD!" She gasped, both surprised by the sudden turn of events, and incredibly scared for her life, thinking some kind of hostile shark was in the shore currently, which was to report immediately.

The moment she decided to take a turn and leave as fast as she could, warning the others to get the hell out of here, a shadowy form within the water followed her along the wave.

Foolishly curious, Jolyne looked at it, not without her heart hammering in her chest at the potential danger she was facing.

What she saw was not a sight she'd have ever expected to ever see in all her 19 years. Her legs shook at the shock and she almost completely fell over her board.

Gliding along the water right next to her, right inside the tall wave, was the figure of... a girl.

Or was it a girl? It couldn't be. She looked human at first glance, but the more Jolyne's gaze moved sideways she noticed the long and impressive fish tail replacing what were supposed to be legs.

Jolyne's jaw felt slack. She felt like she was hallucinating. Believe it or not, she had not smoked or taken any recreative substances beforehand, but she truly wished she had because that would have at least explained what her eyes were showing her.

The girl swimming and following her only smiled, waving cutely with webbed hands, as if amused by Jolyne's disbelieving reaction and wide eyes.

"W-w-w.... What the fuck..???" Jolyne finally spoke after rebooting her entire brain, "No fucking way-...! A mermaid??!! A real one??!"

Like a bad trick from fate, the wave Jolyne was trying her hardest to not get swallowed by, seemed to grow weaker and weaker, shortening in size.

Jolyne saw the mermaid slowly retreat away in an elegant swim, her form vanishing into the deep blue.

"Wait, no!" The surfer called, almost desperate to have such a mystical meeting and ethereal moment be so short lived.

She reached her hand out to the creature, unsure of what she was even trying to do, but the force of the current got the best of her, and Jolyne lost balance, falling forward with nothing to hang onto for purchase.

Jolyne splashed onto the water and the wave died with her hope of ever living such a dream again.

"Ooohh dang it! You were almost there!" Hermes called out from the shore, her voice booming enough for Jolyne to hear as she broke into the surface.

"Fuck...." Jolyne cursed, hanging onto her board.

She felt defeated. Not because she couldn't ride that wave to the very end as she was expected to with her skill level, but rather because she couldn't immortalize that beautiful moment.

She blankly climbed onto her board again and barely even paddled her way back to land, too out of it to do so.

Was that even real? That had to be, right? She saw the mermaid. She saw her hair, her skin tone shined-on by the sun. She saw the scales over her skin, the fins along her arms and tail.

She saw her attack Romeo, he must have seen her too, Jolyne pondered.

"Aaah the champion is back!" F.F cheered as Jolyne finally walked back, drenched and with her plank under one arm. "I made a sandcastle for our ocean queen!"

"Thanks Foo..." Jolyne's small smile didn't not match her quiet tone.

"Hey, what's up, chula ? You look like you've seen a ghost, or something? You did great back there, so why the long face?" Hermes fixed the straps of Jolyne's bikini top and removed some seaweeds from her hair.

"It's just... I saw something weird it the water and I don't know..." Jolyne hesitated, "Maybe I was dreaming or something."

"Hum..." Hermes hummed in thought. "What do you think Féfé?"

"Maybe Mr. Jotaro can answer if you saw an animal? Damn, I'm thirsty." F.F stuck her tongue out, clearly expressing her thirst.

"Dude, there's water litterally everywhere here." The mexican grimaced before turning back to Jolyne. "But yeah, maybe you should ask your dad if that worries you so much."

"Uhh..."

Jolyne looked towards her father who was crouching somewhere next to some rocks, taking notes about mollusks, or so Jolyne guessed.

"Yeah, maybe not. It's fine though, no big deal." She smiled, waving her hand in dismissal.

Shrugging it all off, the girls decided to join Weather Report and Jotaro who brought food to finish the day at the beach with a relaxing touch.

And so, the day ended with an uncanny normalcy for Jolyne, who kept thinking more and more as the sun set, that it all had been in her mind. Mermaids didn't exist. It was probably a Stand user playing tricks on her.

That what she wanted to believe. When she thought of all the events that would follow, she truly wished she had spoken to her father about it. After all, if he had fought a very real vampire, then there would be no doubt that something as crazy as a mermaid could exist in her bizarre adventure.

Jolyne came back to the beach that same week. Alone, this time. She was careful to come by the time the sun started to lower in the sky and the temperature of the water and air dropped, knowing tourists and athletes would be gone by this time.

'What now?' She thought. Coming back out of sheer curiosity was a thing, but making sure she could attract the creature back to her was something else.

"Should I bring food? What do mermaids even eat? Does she like hot dogs...?" Jolyne thought out loud, looking around, secretly glad no one was here to hear her talk mad nonsense to herself like some insane crackhead.

She approached the water and drenched her feet in the small rocking waves, coming and going her way and gently splashing her. She hesitated for a moment, remembering that along with the legend of mermaids came the fact that these creatures were known to attract and enchant humans by their beauty, leading them to their inevitable death.

So maybe, Jolyne accepted, she was destined to die in the ocean.

Just as she came hip-deep into the sea, she felt a strange current shaking her legs, almost knocking her out of balance.

Before she could even process how strange it felt, she looked down into the clear water and saw no less than the same huge colorful fish tail she had seen that very day.

She gasped in realization and soon enough screamed as she felt calloused hands grab her thighs, the creature pushing herself out of the water to be met face to face with the human who had been, unbeknownst to Jolyne, her newfound fixation.

"Y-WHAAAAAHH!!!" Jolyne hollered, not expecting such a strong and surprising appearance.

The mermaid still halfway into the water, climbed and gripped up the girl's hips for leverage. She looked up at Jolyne's face, smiling wide and eyes glinting in both adoration and mischief.

"Greetings."

"HOLY CRAP-" Jolyne's voice cracked, "I mean- fuck yes! I mean-..."

Poor Jojo was completely out of it. But who could blame her, though? It was not everyday that one got to meet a real mermaid in the flesh. And certainly not such a handsy one.

She cleared her throat and mustered her most suave voice, pretending she wasn't completely flustered by the sheer beauty before her.

"Hi."

"I knew you'd come back..." The mermaid spoke, her voice almost ethereal and distant, "They always do."

Jolyne's heart wanted to stop. God, she felt burning hot and was sweating everywhere. Her voice stilled Jolyne to place in a way she couldn't explain. The legendary creature was so impossibly close to her, bodies almost touching.

She noticed she couldn't stay up overwater any other way than using Jolyne's lean body for leverage, her heavy tail anchoring her down. But the warm proximity between them and the sight of such a beautiful, rare and mystical creature right under her chest felt unreal and exciting.

Jolyne wanted to look her over for hours. Her hair texture, drenched and flowy, her skin tone glowing like gold, her holographic scales and fins shining like crazy diamonds.

"Why... Why did you...? Of all people...?" Jolyne questionned, now wondering if their first meeting in that wave was really a trick of fate, or if she was chosen in any way. "You attacked Romeo, yet you showed up to me... Why me?"

"I like beautiful humans." The mermaid smiled, her radiant features and smooth voice making Jolyne's legs weak, "You're beautiful."

The young surfer couldn't help her heart shaking and the wave of warmth spreading through her chest. If it was anyone else, she would boast her obvious beauty or maybe flip them off. But now she couldn't. Being complimented by a mythical being that was already the most gorgeous thing Jolyne had ever witnessed was truly something else

"What's your name?" Jolyne started.

"Call me Y/N."

Y/N, Jolyne's mind echoed. Cute. Even mermaids had names, she thought before realising that may be a very stupid thought to have. She didn't really know what else to expect.

"I uh, I'm Jolyne..." She looked down into the water, somewhat not daring to look at Y/N's adorable curious and sensual gaze. Oh god that was bad, she was entrancing.

"Not to be gay but...You look cute. Hot even. Can I say that? That's not weird, right? Since ya know... You're not exactly human, but you're not an animal either, like... I'm not gonna get arrested for this... I hope..."

"I'm not too familiar with human tongue, but I think Ms.Jolyne looks really pretty as well." Y/N moved to wrap an arm around Jolyne's waist, gripping her for better leverage and pointing at her chest, right in her reach. "Healthy mammals, great for feeding the young."

"Mammals...? Oh! You mean my boobs?" Jolyne glanced at her modest chest before grinning at the creature, "Aw thanks! Finally someone who likes them who's not some degenerate creep!"

Jolyne's chuckle died down and she finally took the time to look over Y/N's face. She ran a cold hand over her much warmer cheek, gliding it down to her gilled neck, mesmerized by her anatomy.

It truly was a one-in-a-lifetime meeting. Jolyne was slowly comprehending her luck to be met with a legendary sea creature like her. And a friendly one, at that.

How could this be even real? Our human knew that even though she was feeling relatively serene at the moment, the adrenaline would come down later and she would most likely cry herself to sleep.

"Hey uhm..." Jolyne was at a loss for words. There were so many things to say, but at the same time, she couldn't speak a word.

"Hm?" Y/N hummed and closed her eyes, enjoying the human's gentle touches.

Merfolks would express themselves via physical ministrations the most in the ocean, but she knew well a lot of humans did not share intimacies, or at least not before building a certain bond.

Glad that Jolyne was open to it, the sea-bound girl squeezed both her arms around the human's waist lovingly, forcing endearment on Jolyne, who felt her own heart tighten at the sweet and adorable embrace. The girls wanted to keep each other.

"Will we see each other again? I mean, I know you shouldn't be noticed by the public for your safety, but I don't know... Guess I took a liking to you or something." Jolyne mumbled, still resting her hands mindlessly around the creature's shoulders, fiddling with the ridges of her dorsal fin.

Y/N smiled, a smile that looked empty on her fish eyes, but sincere regardless. She let go of Jolyne who couldn't quite take her own hands off of her, clinging a little bit longer.

"Don't you know this, Ms. Jolyne? When human women die in the ocean, they relive as our kind."

"What? Really?" Jolyne let the mermaid get away slowly, ready to swim off to some unknown destination.

"If you want to see me again," Y/N called out cutely, waving her webbed hand like the very first time she saw Jolyne surfing, "Then perish in the ocean!"

She grinned, diving into the deep blue and splashing her tall tail strongly, giving herself a boost of speed, and disappearing away.

Jolyne could only stare into the horizon, darkening as the night arrived, stunned into place.

"...Ok, that was metal as fuck..."

H2O Just Add Water opening, but with Jolyne, Hermes and F.F

[sugar-petals]

Ooooh, now I’m curious and need to ask you to elaborate on your top ten himbo players, that you actually like, but also your top ten for players that are boyfriend material, cause I find your choices really interesting and actually different from what I was expecting! 💗 (i really hope I’m not bothering you by sending these asks 🥺🌟)

i like writing about it at length don’t worry 👀⚽️ here it goes. 

caro’s top 10 footie giants

(note: includes veteran nominations for long-term service)

1) robert lewandowski — who is it!!!!

if lewy doesn’t win this it’s heresy, the man has it all: he’s ripped, he’s cutesy, statuesque, silly, sexy, divine, hilarious, confused, polite, unique, unsurpassed, i can go on, enjoy this handy illustration as proof:

he is the moment, he’s the protagonist, the founding father of all himbos worldwide 👴🏻✨he just has to look at you clueless once and you know he got what it takes!

in summary: 

2) fernando torres — nobody expects the spanish ab definition! ah... the good ole days, i miss fernando. el niño became extremely buff with time and remains as kind and shy as ever so the spot is even more deserved 🇪🇸

3) manuel neuer — not in 1st place bc he's too unhinged, other than that ofc he has to be way up high on the list for being the nation’s big booty stripper providing us with endless content, give his arms a custom insurance ffs

4) leon goretzka — here goes the twink magnet, the whole fandom will send me assassins if leon's not included in the top 5 so ‘ere ya go

5) frenkie de jong — himbo in the making, BDE body, puppy personality, he’s just very huggable, what more can i say, he really walks around like this

6) julian brandt — soft snuggly himbo bee, a lil slutty too 👌 lately his hair is so dang long i love it, smh i envy kai for being engaged to this man

7) mats hummels — also included to appease the masses, at least i don’t think his green plaid coat was that bad, his facial bones & hair are great i guess

8) ter stegen — not 100% a himbo since his brain isn't entirely vacant (more of a gentlemanly type) but but he is kind tall chiseled and a tank, i would pick him to save us in a zombie apocalypse

9) lukas podolski (ft. bastian schweinsteiger) — and now the ultimate grandfather besties of himboism, you can’t possibly separate them, poldi invented being stupid and sexy, basti invented being stupid and built, together they are the ideal himbo fusion, everyone deserves having a friendship like this

gotta love them munching crisps on tv 😂

OUT OF A GIANT CAULDRON HHH

10) romelu lukaku — to wrap it up i confess my love for the belgian team, they’re incredible & romelu is peak coolness (last on the list bc he’s actually smart, but his tiddies are enormous so ofc that has to be honored)

and for the sake of completion, an abbreviated top 10:

top 5 bf material players

1) raheem sterling — we talked about tall guys but here the short king hour strikes! so goodlooking and smiley ⭐️ he’s perfection. i have zero business with his club or the english nt and yet? he made it here. says a lot. raheem sterling. thank you for existing. terrific player.

2) mario götze — hehe... i know very well you didn’t expect him either but here goes it’s me mario, certified cutest ever, so sparkly as well, baby baby bumblebee, oh the nostalgia i know

3) kai havertz — soft lizard bf w/ terrible humor, i stan, can’t divorce him from julian so it’s gonna be a polyamorous relationship, but anyway i adore my suffering victorian heir to bits

4) leroy sané — prettiest, most elegant, most attractive, most stylish, the ideal man exists, love his voice & little habits, never seen a guy as ethereal and handsome, leroy is so boyfriend it hurts, my heart skips a beat for this gaze

5) kepa arrizabalaga — as the outrageous cherry on top: another goalkeeper lunatic and to amp up the hot spanish quota even more; kepa truly is a phenomenon, i don’t know how he does it but i enjoy it

thank you for bearing with this whole friggin ranking, have a nice day 🐯 (now i’ll hide and wait until the rest of the footie fandom finds this post)

[ackerfics]

hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them

she — hange zoe

— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else

— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.

— word count: 2.5k

— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.

She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.

“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”

Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.

The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].

“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”

“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”

Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”

“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”

“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”

Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”

“Oh? What are those things?”

The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.

[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”

“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”

“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.

“Anything for my sweetheart.”

“Again, I’m right here, you know.”

Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.

But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.

The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.

A friend.

Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.

Fall is where everything started.

The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.

Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”

A pause made the breeze’s call known.

“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”

That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.

“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.

She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”

Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”

She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”

Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”

“Yeah, it’s her.”

Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.

It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.

But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.

“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].

“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”

“And what of my feelings, Levi?”

That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.

Then, the dam broke.

“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.

“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?

“Why didn’t she choose me?”

Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.

“Hange,” Erwin murmured.

“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”

A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.

“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”

“Stop it! You’re prettier!”

“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”

“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”

“Me, too, angel.”

Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”

The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.

Winter is here.

general taglist:

@angelofthorr

[sunwoahs]

sweater. | na jaemin

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing

word count: 652

You were out of breath as you sat in your seat at the huge lecture hall, shrugging off your backpack and putting it on the floor. Damn, history. Why do we have to learn about the names of people that don’t even exist anymore. You didn’t even want to be in this class but it’s a requirement for your course so you had no choice.

“Are you okay?” your seatmate Lia asked, handing you her water bottle.

“Yeah, just ran like a four blocks across campus from my boyfriend’s dorm to mine to grab my backpack and ran back all the way here,” you said. “So yeah, peachy.”

Lia chuckled as you hand her back the bottle. “Of course you did. I just wish you’d tell me--”

She got cut of when the doors of the lecture hall opened loudly and four gorgeous men walked through. Everyone stared at them with no ounce of shame. Of course who would not want to look at them, they’re almost ethereal. Almost.

Lee Jeno, captain of the fencing team, with his usual ripped jeans and leather jacket.

Huang Renjun, student council president, with his strip of bleached hair.

Lee Donghuck, lead to every university musical, wearing a black turtleneck with a smug smile as usual.

And Na Jaemin, swim captain, with his bright smile that lit up the room. It would be disgustingly cute if any other person has his smile but with him he carries it with such confidence that if feels intimidating.

Everybody sees them as these untouchable walking gods. The fact that they look so put together for a 7AM class must be a proof of that.

Lia gasped as they passed through your seats, the smell of their expensive perfumes lingering. “Dang, two semesters and I still refuse to believe they’re real,” she said. “Too bad they ain’t dating anyone.”

“Too bad or too good?” Someone in front of you said with a little wiggle of her eyebrows.

“Duh, Mia, we’re obviously far beneath them. Like they’d go for sleep deprived college students.”

The girls around you nodded their head and laughed, like such thing is impossible. You just scoffed.

“Come on YN, just admit they’re pretty,” said Eunbin, looking down at you and your outfit. “Not like you know what’s considered pretty anyway considering your taste.”

You felt Lia tense beside you. You were friends with Eunbin but she just comes off too downgrading sometimes. You laughed it off, such comments are so stupid anyway.

As you were playfully arguing with your little circle of people you heard someone.

“Hey YN,” you turned your head as you heard Jaemin’s voice from across the room. ”You look really good in that sweater.” The other three boys beside him snickered.

“Fuck off, Na.” you yelled back.

Then you realized what you did.

Oh shit. You just yelled at Na Jaemin in public.

There were audible gasps around the room. You can feel the burning stares of some girls around you. This is not how you imagine your morning to go. The laugher of the three boys got louder as Jaemin stood up and walked in your direction. You’d think he was pissed off based on his smirk if it wasn’t for the mischievous glint in his eyes.

He stopped directly in front of you, crossing his arms. You can clearly see pieces of his brown hair sticking up, but it still looks purposefully done. Placing his hands on you desk, he leaned forward, face coming too close to yours.

“I was looking for that sweater earlier baby," he said, voice loud and clear in the silence of the large hall. You remember picking it out his closet earlier, not even bothering to say bye to him as he was in the shower, both of you waking up late when your alarm failed to ring.

“But anything of mine is yours anyway.”

[wayfee]

Omg I just saw all the new followers, that one manifestation post was just a spur of the #moment creativity #moment, I'm probably not gonna make more of those in a while.

Like I said Sexyandhedonistic is one of my favorite manifest blogs here on Tumblr and you'd think I manifested for her to notice my post, but I didn't! I was just working on self concept repeating stuff like "All my desires are inevitable".

Read more is me talking to myself + my manifestations

Before this literally about to give up, not only on shifting but also on manifesting. I was listening to sad songs and trying to accept that my life will stay the way it is. I manifested a few things but didn't see them in the 3D immediately and kind of spiraled fast (I'm a bit addicted to self-pity ;/ and feeling like things are out of my control).

This really lifted me up.

"But it's funny how some things just change in a day or even in an hour" - Lust for Life, Lana Del Rey

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Other stuff I've manifested:

Online school/ work/ internship:

Listened to online school subliminal before Christmas vacation and got a week before Christmas vacay online school.

A week of online school instead of physical after Christmas vacation even though the teachers said it was gonna be physical.

Manifested 3 lessons to be given online instead of physical this week. A lesson fell out + other one is online so tomorrow I have online school.

Friday we had 2 lessons online and one physical, we send an email to our teacher for that lesson but she didn't reply, I affirmed Thursday that we have fully online lessons Friday, I was a bit panicky and constantly checking my email, the next morning before school I saw that the lesson is online too!

I manifested an entire week of online school thrice!

I applied to an internship and got a call back immediately! I went and got accepted!

Attention/ beauty/ magnetizing/ most gorgeous and ethereal girl on the block/ St. tropez party girl:

Strangers were looking at me more today, following me with their eyes + the teacher who gave the English exam was mostly looking at me.

I put on makeup today and my mom called me beautiful (which she normally never does)!

This older woman asked me for directions and told me she stepped up to me because I looked so beautiful!

Oh my god, we have this new teacher at school, and he kept looking at me a bit too long and also called me 'beauty' and touched me. He IS in his 60's but dang, I've never held an old mans attention either so I think it is progress!

Other stuff:

My brother said that I was on his YouTube account looking to study abroad? (I have checked, I dont use his account).

I pretended I was fake sick for 2 days at school and on the third day I ACTUALLY felt a bit sick.

My brother and my mom got in a bit of a fight and my brother was crying about how my mom is constantly after him and how she treats me like a princess (didn't affirm for this specifically)

I had 2 weeks where I had zero sexual desire so I affirmed that I was aroused everyday and wanted to masterbate everyday and the last 8 days I have masterbated 11 times! (Most of the time it's 2-4 times a week)

I was in the metro and affirmed + visualized me getting a seating place and after a few minutes I got one in the exact place I visualized!! I was like 'holy fuck'

I keep visualizing the metro being empty and me having a seat, I succeed almost always

I listened to perfect teeth subliminal a few minutes before going to the dentist and I didn't have any of the problems I normally have!

Get rid of desired people:

Oh my god I've been affirming for this girl in my class to get out of my class for ~ 2 weeks now, I didn't see any movement but today I heard that she's been sick since last week and haven't even been coming to online classes.

She's back at school but she left me alone!

She has corona, it's so much more peaceful in class!

Today in class the class teacher had her + some others sign something? Presumably because she's failing

HOLY FUCK SHES ACTUALLY LEAVING? She's been thinking about leaving but didn't because of her friends in class. JANUARY - 24 MARCH. It took me around 3 months~

Shift reality: (not interested anymore)

Every time I listen to realityshift subliminal, I remember my dreams more. Also this one time I was trying to shift to something like Lana del Rey's - Ride and I had a dream about bikers.

Ideal boyfriend: (not really interested in this anymore)

Before I went to bed I was affirming for my ideal boyfriend (like Peter from the Your Boyfriend game but more human and without the violence and abuse) and tonight I got woken up at 5 am because someone grabbed my wrist hard in my dream and I woke up with a fast heartbeat and had to rethink whether I want my ideal boyfriend to really be him.

I've been affirming for my ideal bf and I was thinking about how I want him to have a buzzcut and today I saw an old classmate who had a buzzcut (he normally wears his hair in another way).

Listened to yandere bf subliminals a few days before and got a dream about something like that

3 day challenge:

So I tried the 3 day challenge and chose to have a Yandere bf + bigger breats. Now it has been 3 days and I realized I dont actually want bigger breasts (clothes + unwanted attention from men), my Yandere did kind of manifest? (I also realize I dont really want a Yandere bf now). Im on this app for tracking moods and a man has been talking to me, he has "stalked" my page to comment on a year old mood! I also have 5 notifications that he commented on my page in the last 3 hours! The next 3 days I will probably challenge myself to get my "fire and passion" back for daydreaming (The same people but maybe someone new!!) + maybe something with my internship/ ibs/ more fun outside of house w/ new friends/ shifting reality (actually this time!) etc.

[i-am-ironic]

The time that Dick dragged Marinette and Damian to the police because damian was nice to someone.

The title is a bit of an over simplification but it got the most votes and i think its funny. This probably isn't what you were expecting but damian wasn't expecting it ether so here we go!

Part 2

*********************

Damian was not having a good day. It had started out fine. He had gone to Wayne Enterprises to look over some paperwork and was planning on introducing his long time girlfriend to his family later that day. As he was headed back home he saw a flower shop, it had been a while since he had gotten marinette anything after work so he decided to stop and get her a bouquet.

He picked out a beautiful set of flowers, with lilys and some yellow flower he didn't know the name of.

But, as he was walking down the sidewalk toward his car a woman stopped him and said, "would you mind holding this for me? Just for a second?"

Now usually he would say no but marinette had been telling him he needed to be nicer to people so he said, "yes, just hurry."

He soon learned he should not have said that.

The woman handed him a bundle. Right before sprinting back to the flower shop and around the corner.

Damian's first though was 'well crap. This is a bundle of dr*gs isn't it?'

He carefully stated to unrap the bundle so he wouldn't disrupt what ever was in there. He didn't want any of it on him and he didn't want to touch any of it.

Well it wasn't dr*gs.

When he removed the blanket from the top of the bundle he found a face. The eyes were closed and the little pink mouth was open. Soft black hair was poking out from the edge of the blanket.

This was a baby.

He was just handed a baby on the sidewalk.

The baby was asleep.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't process what just happened. So he did what any logical man would do. He walked to his car, and got in it. Then he realized he couldn't drive anywhere with the baby so he got out of the car and started walking back to his apartment.

He must have looked pretty strange walking down the street with flowers in one hand and a baby in the other. He was still wearing the suit from the office and he was a Wayne. As the youngest of the Wayne's and only blood son he was pretty recognizable by the public.

When he finally reached the apartment the first thing he said after walking in the door was, "Marinette I'm never going to be nice to anyone again."

"Why babe?" Marinette called from the kitchen where she was cooking something for dinner. "What's wrong? Oh you brought me flowers how kind!" She grabbed the flowers turning on her heal to go put them in some water.

"Mari, im sure what ever you are cooking will be great," he said, she knew that today was his day to cook but they would have to talk about her overworking herself later, "I need some help over here."

"Why? What happened........." she saw the baby but then put her head in her hand before saying, " Damian Wayne is that a baby?"

"It is and I don't know what to do, and we don't have milk or diapers, or clothes, or....... Marinette? Are you okay?"

"Just give me a minute, I wasn't expecting my boyfriend to come home with a baby today." She stood there for a second before shaking her head and looking back up at damian. "OK so we have a baby. I guess we should see if he or she needs to be changed before we go to the store."

"We don't have any diapers." Damien added helpfully.

Marinette took the baby and walked to the living room as she said, "okay so go to the kitchen and get a towel and while you are in there turn off the stove."

As damian looked for a towel he heard marinette yell from the other room, "its a girl!"

After the 'diaper' situation was taken care of the two of them just stared at each other and the baby between them. She had woken up. She had the biggest blue eyes ether of them had ever seen. She couldn't be more then a month or two old. But she wasn't crying. She just looked around.

"Okay, so," mari started, "how about you tell me how you acquired a baby girl, in the car to the store."

"Yeah, about that, um, you see I didn't have a car seat so I just kind of walked here from the flower shop."

"Of course you did. It's fine we can walk, ill hold the baby if you promise to carry all the stuff we buy."

"Deal." He could carry all the things they would need, plus it would give him a great excuse to show off.

"So.... are you going to tell me where you got this baby?"

"Well, pretty much i went to get you flowers and as I was leaving a lady asked me to hold something for her and I remembered how you told me to be nicer to people so I agreed and then she took off running and I saw the baby and brought her home."

"So a lady just handed you a baby and ran, dang. You are aware no one is going to believe you right?" Mari said still trying to process everything.

"Yes I'm aware. Anyway we can't keep calling her 'the baby' we have to give her a name."

"Any ideas?"

"Marry."

"Kate."

"Emma."

"We are not naming her emma. What about Adélie?"

"How about Martha?"

"After your grandmother? That would be a good middle name." She paused for a moment, "I know Gabrielle, Gabby for short."

"Gabrielle Martha Dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne, poor kid has such a long name." Damien laughed.

"We might not be able to keep her dames, then what?"

"First we are going to get clothes, diapers, clean blankets and some formula. Then we can go to the police and file a report for fear for the safety of a child. The fact that she was just handed to me on the street should be enough evidence, they should give us custody until everything goes through. In the mean time we can try to get approved to foster her and maybe even adopt."

"One step at a time."

By this point the two of them had reached the store. (Im imagining like a Walmart or Target type of store) They made a bee line for the baby section. Neither of them had any idea what to look for and they didn't want to call any more attention to themselves then they already had. After all this was Damian Wayne walking into a store with a girl no one knew, and a baby, who had a dish towel wrapped around her waist. Needless to say people were staring.

Marinette picked out three outfits, a pastel purple dress, a green onesie and a blue onesie. Then they got some bottles and pacifiers before heading over to the diaper section. Neither of them expected to see Dick Grayson-Wayne walk around the corner as they were trying to figure out how many diapers a baby really needed for a few days.

The shock on Dick's face was worth all the questions he was inevitably going to ask. First he looked at his brother, then marinette, then the baby products damian was holding, and finally the baby in marinette's arms. He closed his mouth that had been hanging open and nodded, walking over to the three of them.

"Im not going to ask about the dress," he said Indicating the baby clothes marinette had handed damian " or the girl, and frankly I'm too scared to ask about the baby, but are you still coming to dinner tonight?"

"We don't know yet." Obviously annoyed Damian looked between his brother and marinette, "we didn't expect to have a baby this morning, so the plan has changed."

"What do you mean you didn't expect to have a baby? If you're girlfriend is pregnant then you are going to have a baby! That's usually how that works. Honestly Damian!" Then he seemed to remember all the days of school Damian had missed because of Robin dutys, "oh no. Damian when you were in high school did you miss the class called-"

"Im going to stop you right there," Marinette finally cut in "um, you see this isn't, exactly,our baby."

"And to the police we go!" Dick said dragging them out of the store barely letting them pay for their stuff. When ever ether of them tried to speak he would shush them and say they should tell it to the judge.

Did he honestly think they had stolen a baby? Well, to be fair, that's pretty much what Bruce did to Jason soooo....... and he had just met marinette and didn't know what kind of person she was. But they were planning on going to the police after the store anyway so this actually worked out.

Once they arrived marinette went to the bathroom with Gabby to change her diaper and put on some of the clothes. Damian and Dick went to Commissioner Gordon so Damian could explain the situation.

Marinette walked in right as damian was finishing the story, " And Dick saw us in the picking out a bottle and he asked about the baby and when I told him she wasn't our he dragged us here."

"So what your telling me is that you want to keep the baby until and unless the parent or gardien comes forward?" Commissioner Gordon looked quite surprised, "Damien you are so young, you don't need a baby that isn't your responsibility, and what does your girlfriend think about all of this?"

"I agree with damian," the three men looked up at Marinette holding baby Gabrielle, they had been so caught up in their talk they hadn't noticed her walk in, "i know what foster care is like, one of my roommate was in the system and she barely mad it out alive, it's been years but she still has nightmares and calls me in the middle of the night. Ha," her laugh was humorless and cold, "we bonded over our trama. I wont let this sweet little girl go through that when I can stop it."

Dick had slight tears in his eyes he remembered life before Bruce adopted him. There weren't many good memories. "I think they should keep her. If anything goes wrong they have the whole family to help, and no one should have to wonder where they are going to sleep that night."

"If you all are that determined then i'll start the paperwork. But," he said stopping the smile that had started to form on the new parents faces, "you will both have to agree to give her up if we end up finding her legal gardien, before you officially adopt her. After you adopt her she is yours and no one can take her back."

Marinette and Damian hugged making sure not to squish Gabrielle. They went back to the store, while Dick told the rest of the family Damian and his girlfriend would be a little bit late, and they had a surprise for everyone.

Damian walked in front of marinette as they entered the house.

Alfred the butler was there to great them, "good evening Master Damian and you must be miss mar-" the shock on Alfred's face was evident as he stared at Damian's tiny girlfriend holding a baby's car seat. "Is-is that?"

"Alfred could you please tell my family to gather in the living room we will be up in my room until then so they won't see the 'surprise'." He put emphasis on the word 'surprise' gesturing at the car seat.

Alfred nodded and smiled mischievously. Damian lead marinette to his room were they left all the baby stuff. When you have a baby you have to travel with a ridiculous amount of stuff.

When Alfred came back to get them he started at the baby girl, "what is her name?" He asked softly so he wouldn't wake her.

"Gabrielle Martha dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne." Damian answered just as softly.

"How old is she?"

"We aren't sure, we when to the doctor earlier today after we finished at the store and he said she was about two months old."

Alfred looked quite confused but knew they would explain once they got to the living room with the rest of the family.

Damian walked in first to block marinette and the baby from his family's view. The room was packed, there was Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Stephanie, and Barbara, not to mention Selina Kyle Alfred and Duke. When they had said the WHOLE family wanted to meet Damien's girlfriend they ment the whole family. When Damien sat down and they saw Marinette and Gabrielle, and i am not exaggerating when I say, all hell broke lose.

In the chaos it was hard to hear what specific people were saying but someone said, "i knew it wasn't like you to want us to meet your girlfriend now it all makes sense!" And "Well Bruce, at least he knows about his kid." There was also lots of swearing probably by Jason. Tim chugged an entire pot of coffee. Only Bruce was silent. He started at the them and waited for the room to quiet down.

"Damien, would you like to explain yourself?"

"Well this is all marinette's fault if you think about it."

Marinette looked offended as she responded "it is not my fault! You were the one who took a random baby home!"

"YOU KIDDNAPED A BABY!!!" Jason cut in.

"I mean its kinda the opposite of kidnapping if you think about it."

"I did not kidnap Gabrielle, she was handed to me on the street and I didn't know what to do so I took her home."

"Oh my God!" At this point everyone was confused. "What do you mean she was handed to you on the street?"

"Well i was walking out of the flower shop and a lady came up to me and asked if I would hold something for her and I said yes, so she gave me something and took off running. I looked down and there was a baby. I took her home and then marinette and I went to the store to get her some stuff. That was when we saw Dick. When he found out Gabrielle wasn't our baby he took us to the police i explained everything to them and we are going to keep her until her guardians can be found. If they don't find anyone we are going to keep her."

"What a story." Tim said. "Well that clears that up let's eat."

They continued talking late into the night about all the things that would have to change. But all things considered it went pretty well.

When the little family got home marinette went through the blankets Gabrielle had been wrapped in and found a letter.

"Dear Mr. Wayne,

This is my daughter, I don't have the money to take care of her, please give her a good life I don't know what will happen if she is put in the foster care system and I don't want to think about it. If you decide to keep her I will sign over all parental rights to you, I just ask that you give her the life that I couldn't, and that you let me see her on holidays. My name is Amanda Jones you can find me if you want to or just let me be. tell her I love her but I couldn't keep her. I love her so much."

She would have to give this to the police in the morning. But for now she had to get some sleep before Gabrielle woke up.

***************

This took forever to write but here it is i hope everyone likes it and thank you to everyone who voted on the name for this. I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out but its not bad, and I don't think it's going to get any better.

(Part 2)

@wannajointhecrabcult

@corabeth11

@i-wanna-be-a-ninja

@animegirlweeb

@spyofthenightcourt

[sonthesheep]

Satisfied

felix Escellun X GN! Reader

pronouns used:They/them

Hamilton AU

THIS IS ANGST!!!!!! Jdjsjdhwjdh plus word vomit i just wanna get this out of my system

Gold trim, Fancy wine and the smell of arrogance in the air floated onto a big room of elite people whom had their heels on the dance floor sweeping themselves to the music of violin.

It's the winter ball for the finest people, in a manor the known escell mirun and florian aguis lived.

Felix as the only son of the hosts, weren't as delighted to attend such lavish events but he stood in the ballroom full of unfamiliar faces feeling yet kinda out of place.

women and men from high born families are offering him a dance, trying to win him as if it was a competition on who's going to take him by the hands.

"Good grief, this is the last straw I'm getting out of here" The lad said to himself, feeling the presence of the nobles highly overwhelming

He took a deep breath as he strides out of the venue to take a fresh breath of air, away from the these people whom named elite but never even once he saw someone who caught his eyes.

as he walks away from the loud music, he helped himself by having him welcomed to florian's garden, it was the place which he always saw intriguing and looking at the plants his father took care of will always be enough to take him out of the royalty chaos.

the moon beams down strongly this night, and as he moves forward he caught his gaze onto you, who slightly jumped due to his presence.

"HI!"

the moment then suddenly turned magical for his sight, he thought he never saw you around nor have been familiar by your presence but one thing was for sure you had him captivated.

he admired you in which seemed to me a split second but in his eyes everything went in slow motion.

'I'll never forget the first time I saw your face I have never been the same, Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame and when you said "Hi", I forgot my dang name set my heart aflame, every part aflame'

This is not a game'

"weren't you supposed in the ballroom?" despite being stunned intimidating words came out of his mouth 'fuck' he muttered to himself as he slightly bit his bottom lip in unreadable embarrassment

"Sorry i really don't know if i wasn't supposed to be here but these nerium oleander caught my attention" You said with the most apologetic voice ever but keeping yourself away from the flower

"You know about them?" he asked very surprised, it was a flower which can only be identified for those who knew what it is capable of.

"Oh i do!! I'm just surprised to find them here

they are very rare and is one of the most poisonous flowers found existing i just never knew I'd found them in this place" You gave him a gentle smile as you fixed your posture, offering him a handshake

he took you by your hands, he was as breath taking as he looked he gently shook your palm as he introduced himself

"My name is felix escellun"

"Y/n" you replied

"I never really saw you around here, where's your family from?" He asked as he wondered from what royal's you belonged to.

"I'm just a messenger from one of those families in the ballroom, i never really seemed fit to be there but they still took me here. But that's unimportant when i become one of the greatest warriors in this place, I'll make a name for myself!" You said with a glistening sparkle on your eyes, and hunger ready to take on everything

'So this is what it feels like to match wits with someone at your level, What the hell is the catch?

It's the feeling of freedom, of seein' the light It's Ben Franklin with a key and a kite You see it, right? '

your conversations lasted in long minutes, both fascinated by the things you shared to each other the way you were both unsatisfied and wanted more in life, more than what everyone tell you to be.

you have the same outlook in life, the same want for change everything was said equal agreement as if harmony existed when both of you met.

the conversations went sweeter as the moments pass by, you were subtly flirting and though he pretends not be affected his cheeks say otherwise. The comfort is amazing, it was like everything is meant to be there.

felix observers your features attentively, how you thumb away your hair carefully and way your voice change as you speak of the things you love truly.

if only he could take you away from the place you're in, far away from everyone to protect you just because you deserve it and he'll be happy to see you fluttering your wings and fly.

"You really have a wonderful home! I felt like romeo and juliet somehow met here as their love story was told" You said all, cheery with your cheeks touching your eyes as you smiled.

"Maybe ours could start here too"

you said with a slight blush on your face, you knew it was an embarrassing line but you took your shot anyways.

"Page one opened" Felix replied with a smile ghosting his lips, he felt like it was too good to be true but his feelings lingered, it was his first time meeting you but you took him places he's never been before through all the things you've made him feel in one night.

He decided to take you inside of the hall, hands intertwined together as he offered you a dance it you were both having a great time, and familiar figure walked by the two of you and greeted

"Who is this person felix? they're ethereal"

Scylla, His sister said, her stance was elegant and everything about her is of finest goods.

Felix saw a different glow onto his sister's face, something he never saw before.

"This Y/N, Y/N this Scylla my sister"

"Sister? You're just as majestic scylla! if It takes being in a war for us to meet then it would've been worth it" You complimented.

"I don't wanna be rude to my brother here, but would you mind if i take them for a small dance!?" Scylla smiled with a sly smile on her face

'this one's mine' she whispers, but felix gave an annoyed snort in disbelief

'you wish scylla'

Despite the small banter, felix lets you dance with her sister who took a liking to you

it was a wonderful night but he realizes the most important things throughout the night.

it was already time for you to go, He kissed you knuckles goodbye as he looked at you

"We'll meet again that's for sure" felix smiled as you wave him goodbye

"I'll be back here again!"

A year has passed and crowds cheered onto the moonlight, fancy decorations painted same the tall walls where the ball once happened, golden trims of fabric greeted the newly weded couple whomst hold the most genuine smiles on their face.

familiar faces flooded the ball room, eyes all fixated to the stars of the night, it's finally time to reminisce how sweet their first meet was, and as the visitors applauded sage lesath stirred up the crowd to welcome another important guest

"Alright, alright

That's what I'm talkin' about

Now, everyone give it up for the maid of honor

Felix Escellun"

The crowd shouted louder through his presence, hands clapping and glasses clinking in celebration, Felix smiled as he raised a wine glass on his left hand.

"A toast to the newly wedded partners from a brother who's happy for the union and hope you provide!"

he smiles yet the hint of bitterness tickled his cheeks, he looked onto your eyes with regrets but it was masked up with his facade

"I've never seen scylla with such passion in her eyes before you, you bring the best of my sister i knew she'd be right for you. Writing the first letter for both of you to bond deeper is something i never regret doing"

"May you two always be satisfied"

His gray eyes then sparkled with tears ready to gush down any moment from now, not because of joy but for the choice he made, To let his sisyer be happy, and let you go onto her arms now as her wedded partner.

It was the hard choice to make, the jealousy in his heart tugs as he fantasize how would it have been if he just didn't give you up, but he knew scylla has never been this genuinely happy even once in her life before you.

everything flashes on the back of his mind, his responsibilities as the heir, and everything in his shoulders he wanted you, he really did

and this is the only way he could have you in his sight.

'and i will never be satisfied'

THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL SHIT I'VE WRITTEN I'M- KSHSISHDUW I CANNOT THIS WILL HAVE A PART TWO FOR REDEMPTION!!! I'M CRYING

[j0ne-jjk]

The Universe has Moved for Us

우주가 우릴 위해 움직였어 The universe has moved for us 조금의 어긋남조차 없었어 There wasn’t anything even slightly out of place 너와 내 행복은 예정됐던 걸 Our happiness has been destined

- lyrics from Serendipity, BTS, sung by Jimin

Couple: MiniMoni Characters: Namjoon, Jimin Genre: Fluff (very slight angst) Rating: PG

Tags: Namjoon, Jimin, MiniMoni, NamJi, FLUFF, so dang fluffy, tiny bit of angst, nothing too serious, more just worry, hand-holding, date-night picnic, kissing, hugging, I said it was fluffy!, canon compliant, established relationship, long-term relationship, characters are engaged, sorry if that’s a spoiler?, nothing dirty or even bad language lol, I don’t think there’s anything else.

Glossary of Korean words:

Hyung used for one male to address an older male

Aein “sweetheart”

Jagi / Jagiya “honey” or “darling

Aegiya cute way to say “baby”

Nae sarang “my love”

Naekkeo “mine” (said with aegyo- cuteness)

Kamsahamnida thank you

Halmeoni grandma

Harabeoji grandpa

Orin wangjanim “my little prince”

-ssi honorific meaning “sir”

Yeoboseyo “hello” over the phone

        Seoul was always busy. Even after 7:30 PM on a weeknight. The traffic in the downtown part of the city moved as if it were one, fluid unit. Everyone was always in a hurry; always rushing to get somewhere important. As with any metropolitan city, there was little space in Seoul to stop and take a breath. To attempt to recover from the grinding pace of daily life- especially Idol life. 

        The company car moved in harmony with the evening traffic, steadily passing people on sidewalks and businesses turning on their lights for the night. Namjoon released a sigh as he looked out the deeply tinted windows. A slight, reassuring squeeze came from the petite hand that was linked with his larger one. He returned the squeeze as he shifted to look down at his boyfriend seated beside him, soft, dark eyes looking deep into his own. “The workday is over, naekko, you don’t have to keep thinking so hard. Just relax for me, okay, Joonie-hyung?” Jimin smiled encouragingly, gently leaning his small shoulder into Namjoon’s upper arm. Namjoon’s ears redden slightly at the overly cute nickname and moves their clasped hands to Jimin’s knee, sighing again, “You’re right, jagiya. And I will. You know it just takes me a little while to unravel from the day.” The smaller man nods, content with the answer he received, and rests his head against his boyfriend’s strong shoulder. Both men sit and breathe in the familiar closeness of an evening drive through the city. The sky outside continues to darken as the private car drives on toward Ttukseom Park and leaves the company building further and further in the distance. 

        “Kamsahamnida. Can you come back to pick us up at 9:00 pm, please?” Namjoon waves to the company driver. When he turns, Jimin is standing under the glow of a streetlamp, holding their kimbap take-away, a sweet smile on his angelic face. The smile grows as Namjoon closes the distance between them, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Jimin’s forehead. “Let’s walk down and find a place by the river to sit and eat our dinner,” Namjoon suggests, taking the bag of food in one hand, Jimin’s tiny hand in the other, and leading the way down the walking path toward Cheongdam Daegyo Bridge. The pair finds a slightly secluded picnic table with a view of the bridge and the city skyline across the river, perfect for a late evening dinner. Being the more domestic of the couple, Jimin busies himself with wiping the table, passing out napkins, and giving each of them a squirt of hand sanitizer. He then opens the expertly-made kimbap, all of which the two usually share. 

        Neither can recall how it started, but it’s weekly tradition that Thursday nights are date night for take-away from their favorite kimbap place. The shop was owned by an elderly couple that had grown very fond of all seven of the boys. “Halmeoni said she missed us the last two weeks, aegiya. She insisted on giving us an extra cheese kimbap. She said she and harabeoji watched us on TV,” Jimin paused to smile up at his boyfriend as he divided the gifted kimbap between them. Across the table, Namjoon returns the smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks, “So generous. Bangtan might not have survived if halmeoni hadn’t given us so much free ramyeon.” He pops another piece of his cheese kimbap into his mouth, looking over the river, distant memories seeming to float by with the current. Jimin waits another moment and then clears his throat timidly, “Halmeoni also asked how you were doing,” he pauses, giving his boyfriend an intentional look, “she wanted to remind you to sleep well and take care of yourself.” The tips of Namjoon’s ears were tinged slightly pink and he shifts on his side of the table, “well, halmeoni is wise. I guess I need to catch up on my sleep in case she checks in on me next week,” he teases, chuckling lightly, avoiding his boyfriend’s eyes. 

        Namjoon stands from the table, collecting the trash and placing in a nearby bin. Jimin joins him and the two head toward the nature trail, hand in hand, walking at a leisurely pace. The pair strolls in comfortable silence for a while, admiring the river and the local flora in the waning evening light. A little ways ahead, they follow a slight fork in the path, arriving at one of Namjoon’s favorite places in the city- a stone bench, slightly secluded by bunches of rivergrass and cattails, and setback right from the riverbank. The couple takes a seat, Namjoon wrapping his strong arm around Jimin’s slim shoulders, the two fitting like a custom-made set. They take in the distant, twinkling lights of the skyline across the river and exchange a few quiet words of conversation before Jimin straightens a little and clears his throat. “You know, jagi, halmeoni isn’t the only one who wants you to take care of yourself. She isn’t the only one who worries,” he begins, voice small, eyes focused on the city skyline across the river. He breathes in deep and continues, “I worry about you, aein. I want you to take care of yourself,” at this, Jimin pulls himself from under his boyfriend’s arm and turns toward the taller man, eyes wide and beseeching,“I know you’re busy, Joonie-hyung. I know our schedule is packed, but you have to rest too, jagiya. Let me be there for you- please.” He suddenly places his tiny hands on Namjoon’s knee, words tumbling out like autumn leaves over a waterfall. Namjoon’s eyebrows are knitted together in concern, but his eyes are soft and filled with adoration. “You don’t have to work yourself to the bone for everything to be done and done well, Joonie-hyung. I care about you so much, aegiya. I love you with my whole heart,” Jimin’s pretty face is flushed slightly pink, his dark eyes wide and shining in the subtle glow from nearby streetlamps. He took a deep breath and waited for Namjoon’s response. 

        Seoul was always busy. Even nearing 8:45 pm on a Thursday night. But here, on this slightly secluded stone bench in Ttukseom Hangang Park, time seemed frozen. The genuine affection shared between the couple seated on this bench was almost palpable. Love surrounded them like a hazy, pink cloud of perfume that invaded their senses, creating lasting, core memories. Namjoon finally blinks, coming back down to earth and allowing his eyes to refocus. Without a word, he reaches out and wraps Jimin in a hug, pulling him close. They stay wrapped in each other's arms for a moment, reveling in the closeness, the tenderness; breathing in each other’s scent. Namjoon pulls back first, keeping one arm around Jimin’s and letting the other fall to rest his slim knee. He peers deeply into Jimin’s dark eyes, pressing a light kiss to one soft cheek and then the other, before saying, “I love you too, jagiya. And I know you love me. I can see your love in how you smile when our eyes meet from across the stage or you find me in a crowded room. And I can feel your love in the way you hug me like all your worries have melted away.” He smiles reassuringly, running long fingers through Jimin’s silky, black hair, “I know I need to take a step back, aein. Maybe a few steps. Starting tomorrow, I will. You’re right, jagi, I know everything will get done, especially since I have the six of you to support me. I don’t have to work myself to death.” Namjoon chuckles at his dark joke, but his face falls when he feels Jimin shudder under his arm at his final word. “Oh jagiya-” Namjoon begins, hand moving down to rub soothingly along his boyfriend’s narrow back. Jimin interrupts, placing both small hands comfortingly on Namjoon’s chest over his heart, “that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid, aegiya,” his voice tinged with a hint of heartache floating just under the surface. He continues, eyes glistening, voice hushed, “I couldn’t b-bear to lose you, nae sarang.” His voice wavers as he leans forward, curling into the broad chest before him, Namjoon’s strong arms wrapping securely around him again. 

        The river below seemed to sparkle from the enchanting mixture of streetlamps, city lights, and car headlights from the bridge. The moon and stars added their ethereal glow which painted a heavenly highlight across Jimin’s cheeks. This subtle radiance made Namjoon’s breath catch in his chest as Jimin lifted his head to look up at his boyfriend. Namjoon smiles reassuringly and runs his thumb over his boyfriend’s cheek, “Orin wangjanim, I promise I’m not going anywhere. You know that.” Orin wangjanim- my little prince. Jimin’s eyes light up at his favorite term of endearment, used by Namjoon only on the most special occasions. Golden memories rapidly flood his mind with the moments he’s heard that nickname; before their first kiss, when they first said “I love you”, when Namjoon proposed. Jimin lifts his tiny hand, gazing at the simple, gold engagement ring there as he speaks, “You’re right, aegiya. We’re in this until the end. Please let me help you bear your burdens. Like we say, teamwork makes the dream work,” he finishes with an awkward ‘finger-gun’ and clicks his tongue. Both men burst out in laughter, basking in the lightness of the mood. As their laughter fades and the moment turns tender again, the moon and stars reflecting in their love-struck eyes. Jimin reaches up and cradles Namjoon’s face as their lips meet in a kiss, moving in a familiar, comfortable dance. For just a moment, the stars from the sky above seem to come down to suspend around them. 

*Ding* The 9:00 pm alarm on Namjoon’s phone chimes, rousing the couple reluctantly from their kisses. The shorter of the two stands abruptly, putting on a mock-serious face and planting his tiny fists on his hips. “Come now, Namjoon-ssi. We must not delay our departure any longer,” he commands in a silly, deep voice (what he calls his ‘grown-up voice’). His boyfriend’s eyes crinkle in amusement as he stands, swinging his long arms toward the path, and arranging his face in a similar way. “Quite right, you are. Let us away, then,” he says in English, attempting a British accent. Always easily amused, Jimin can’t hold a straight face any longer and bursts into a fit of laughter, doubling over and crumpling to the ground. Also laughing (but not quite as hysterically), Namjoon crouches in front of his boyfriend until he recovers, “you good, jagiya? Come on, let’s head to the exit and find the car.” Jimin nods and smiles, brushes dust off of his jeans, and links his fingers with Namjoon’s. 

        As the couple nears Ttukseom Park’s exit, Namjoon’s phone vibrates with a call from Yoongi. “Yeoboseyo hyung. Ah yeah. Okay we will. Thanks, later,” he ends the call, pocketing his phone and looking at his boyfriend, “That was Yoongi-hyung, reminding us we should post on Bangtan’s Twitter to thank ARMY for keeping Butter at number one on the Billboard charts for a fourth week. Maybe we could take a selca when we get in the car?” he suggests, shrugging his wide shoulders. Jimin skips along in excitement, smiling wide, “oh what a good idea, naekkeo!” Once the car is headed toward Namjoon’s apartment, Jimin eagerly pulls out his phone, “ready, jagiya? Big, cute, smile!” They lean their heads together and smile contentedly. *click* The shutter sound indicates the picture is ready. Jimin reviews the photo and quickly posts it to the group’s Twitter, miniature thumbs flying over his phone’s keyboard. “ARMY will love this, don’t you think? We look so-” as he turns, soft, full lips meet his own, kissing him deeply. Jimin melts into the kiss, sighing. “Yeah, I think a MiniMoni selca will be pretty popular,” Namjoon smirks, eyes twinkling, as he pulls the smaller man close by his side. He kisses the top of his head, then turns to look out the window at the passing city. Jimin knows his cheeks are pink as he switches off his phone and settles back into the warm chest behind him. 

        Seoul was always busy. Even after 9:14 PM on a Thursday night. The traffic moved in a single fluid unit, like the water in the Han River, that passed continuously by the secluded stone bench. Everyone was always in a hurry; but there were some ways to slow down. Some pockets of solace even in a bustling metropolis. Evening picnics of kimbap take-away, walking hand-in-hand through Ttukseom Hangang Park, meaningful moments on a riverbank bench illuminated by the moonlight, selcas in the backseat of a company car, and affectionate kisses all caused time to slow down and even stop. The warm, intimate feeling of love surrounded the couple in the backseat, hanging in the air like a nebulous cloud of the sweetest perfume. The promise of a shared future and acknowledgment of mutual support making it all the more precious. As the private car continued down the city streets, the couple continued forward into a future full of endless possibilities as vast as the stars in the night sky. 

[mae-gi-writes]

Moonlight Sonata (Part II) | Kevin Moon (The Boyz Imagine)

A girl forms an unlikely bond with her neighbour; a young violinist who seems to understand her sad songs.

(This Kevin is the best Kevin in my opinion)

Part 2 of moonlight Sonata is up! :) Thank you all for waiting! <3 

Word count: 4.2K 

Gnere: angst but fluffy ending yikes 

PART ONE | PART TWO  -----

There’s always some kind of awkwardness that comes with mornings just after one has fallen asleep crying.

Disoriented and squinting at nothing for a full five seconds, realization dawns onto her and she springs up so fast she causes her neighbour’s head to slip off her shoulder. He wakes up just as abruptly, blinking at her with a confused frown, before his eyes widen in recognition as memories of last night flit through his mind.

“You—Uh, hey,” he mumbles and slowly tries moving away upon noticing how close the two of them are.

“Hey,” she mumbles back just as shyly, all boldness from last night gone. She surveys the pallor of his skin and for a minute, her awkwardness is replaced by concern, “How are you?”

“I’m—“ he swallows thickly, “I’m alright, I guess.”

She nods. Silence prevails. A bird chirps outside and a car roars by.

“Thanks,” he blurts out suddenly, “for yesterday.”

“Oh,” she fumbles with the edge of her t-shirt, “no—no problem.”

Part of her wishes that they hadn’t gotten into such a predicament for it feels like she’s intruded onto one of his secrets he’d rather keep private. Not like she knows any one of his circle to tattle on him, but even she has to admit that it must feel weird for a practical stranger to know about the deepest, darkest struggle, one that you’ve been hiding away from the world in hopes that no one will notice.

She tries to put herself into his shoes and she definitely feels ten times worse when she does. There’s no way she would’ve been able to live with herself after blurting out the truth about the countless demons sitting on her shoulder and whispering bad nothings about how useless she is and how the world would be better off without her.

So it is to her utmost surprise when the doorbell rings five minutes after she gets into her flat that night, to find the said young man — with his raven hair pushed off his forehead and shedding the shirt and slacks for comfortable sweatpants and a hoodie — standing on the other side with a box in his hands.

She blinks at him blankly, “yes?”

“Uhm, here—gift.”

He thrust the box into her hands so violently she staggers back. He looks mortified, “so—sorry, I mean—I just wanted to thank you. For last night, you know.”

She blinks at the box for a few beats of silence and catches sight of the post-it note with a messy ‘thank you’ scrawled over it.

Her eyes flicker up to meet his only to see that he’s busy averting his gaze like a child who knows he’s done something wrong and is about to receive his punishment, causing a soft giggle to erupt from her lips.

“You didn’t have to,” she murmurs, “but thanks.”

“Right,” he clears his throat and is already turning away, “well then, good—“

“Do you want to come in?” she blurts out before he can make an escape, watches how his eyes suddenly widen with panic and quickly rectifies herself, “You don’t have to, I just thought that we might share what you bought together. Only if you want to, no—“

“Sure,” he is quick to reply, “that’ll be great.”

Contrary to what she thinks is an awkward interaction turns out to be a night filled with countless jokes and intimate interactions as they share stories over a bottle of wine that she’d forgotten at the back of her pantry, probably dated from a few months ago when she had resorted to alcohol to solve her problems. The more they talk, the less weight bears down upon her shoulders, the more she gets to know this man in a way that she hasn’t gotten to know anyone else before. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s seen him cry when no one else has, maybe it’s the fact that he’s overshared his story without meaning to. In any case, there’s something so pure and honest about the raw sadness that they share that brings her a kind of comfort she can’t find in anyone else.

Kevin, that’s his name when she finally asked him about it, Kevin Moon.

She finds it suits him, a memory of their first encounter. He’s impressed that she recognized the melody.

“Moonlight Sonata,” she states, “right?” “Dang girl,” he grins, “you play too?”

“No, my dad used to play classical music all the time when I was younger.”

Admittedly, it’s easier to leave behind some of the pain tugging at her heartstrings as she spends more and more time in his company, and while she never outrightly asks him how he feels about constantly being around her, she guesses that he might just be as dependent on her as she is. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t come knocking when he hears her door creak open on the other side of the wall.

He introduces her to his group of friends eventually, a gang of noisy, loud boys who attend the same arts college, each mastering a different type of discipline. There are too many faces to count, too many names that pass right over her head at first, but she doesn’t let that deter her and instead revels in the aura that hangs around them like a halo. It’s comforting to be around them, it’s cozy, it feels like home. She understands why Kevin appreciates them so much.

“So you’re the girl that’s been making Kevin smile these days,” one of them — he has a dimple and an expression that resembles that of an overgrown puppy — proceeds to tease her the moment she introduces herself. His comment makes her bite her lip in nervousness as a blush spreads over her cheeks.

“Oh shush,” Kevin smacks his shoulder playfully, “he’s lying. Don’t listen to him.”

For a while, the empty hole inside her chest numbs out like ice melting on a hot summer day. The coming weeks are filled with a sense of serenity and peace, she soon finds it easier to smile, easier to laugh for no reason. Flowers seem to bloom across her chest, giving birth to an array of sunlight and warmth that fills her, bathes her in a light she can’t help but carry around even when her job takes a toll over her physique.

But all good things come to an end at some point. Just like her happiness.

Sure, it hangs around her shoulders for a while, gives her the mental boost that she seeks. But the sadness is never far behind, always catching up to her and pulling her back into its arms like an ex-lover she can’t get over.

No matter how much she pushes the thought out of her mind, it comes back to haunt her, more and more prominent as the time goes by. Soon enough, she finds herself wading through wave after wave of insecurity, balling up her sadness with tight fists as it swoops in at her weakest moments, just like all the other times where her emotions get the better of her, like a barrier stepping between herself and the outside world and slowly causing her to retreat back into the depths of pain just as easily as though she’d never left in the first place.

At first, she brushes off Kevin’s concern, making up excuses about how tired and worn-out she is from work. But that doesn’t hold out for long, for the young man is curious and adamant to find out what exactly is simmering beneath her nonchalant exterior.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” he asks one night, perched onto the edge of her terrace and gazing down at her with eyes so intense that she struggles to keep her face washed blank from emotion. She gazes at the wine glass in her grasp and tilts it this way and that to admire the burgundy sheen reflected in the dim light coming from her flat.

“Nothing,” she mumbles in hopes that he’ll just drop it.

He’s silent for a long moment, too long. She wonders briefly whether he’s heard her.

But then, he speaks up once more.

“Remember when I said I can see it in you?” his voice is soft, a husky murmur that makes her bite her lip in thought, “that I can see you?”

She nods. “Well, I can see you now. And from what I see,” he shakes his head, “it doesn’t seem like it’s just nothing.”

Of course, of course he knows. Placing her abandoned wine glass down on the floor to wrap her arms around herself, she can’t help but feel her insides coil at the truth that sting with the aftermath of his words.

“I don’t know,” she mumbles, “I don’t know. I was fine for a few days. You—You actually made it better, whenever I spent time with you. But—“

That’s when the sadness lurches through her chest and the hole starts bleeding out with a kind of mind-numbing pain that causes her breaths to stagger and for her body to hunch over, suddenly attacked by the tears bursting out of her like a balloon suddenly bursting under pressure.

It feels like a nightmare. She hates crying in front of people, most of all the beautiful, raven-haired young man with eyes as dark as the night itself and who is presently gazing at her with a mixture of understanding and sympathy. If anything, it makes her cry harder.

She isn’t sure when Kevin’s arms manage to wrap around her or when his chin tucks her into the crook of his body in a semblance of comfort. All she knows is that her hands reach out instinctively to cling onto him as though he’s her lifeline, as though he’s the only tangible thing that makes sense through the whirlwind of pain spreading through her like poison as sob after sob crawl out of her throat, caged monsters that had been dormant for too long.

“It’s okay,” he hushes gently with one of his hands smoothing over her head, “it’s okay, let it out.”

When she finally manages to settle down, when the storm finally subsides and the ocean of pain slowly settles into slow, mulling waves that are easy to ignore, she risks a glance up at Kevin, fearful of what she might find on his face.

What she sees in his eyes causes a breath to catch in her throat.

His eyes, dark mahogany, almost inky black, with the moonlight bouncing off his features and making him appear ethereal, almost dreamlike, tugged at her heartstrings.

He was looking at her as though she was something still worth saving, as if what he’d just seen isn’t a broken mess but a piece of art that mesmerizes him somehow.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs in a shaky breath.

One of his hands reach up to push back a damp strand from her face, “don’t apologize, not for being sad.”

“I wish—I wish I knew—“ she bites down onto her lower lip and doesn’t realize that she’s cuddling even closer to him until his other arm tightens around her frame so that her nose is buried in his chest, “I wish I knew why I feel like this sometimes.”

“Being sad for no reason isn’t a crime.”

“I know,” their faces are so close, his breaths are washing over her face and her lips tingle at the sensation. Still, his eyes never stray from hers, “but—“

“Do you need any reason to be happy?” he cuts her off.

She thinks for a minute, then mumbles out a, “no.”

“Then you don’t need any reason to be sad.”

The tiniest trickle of warmth tingles through her heart. While she’s aware that part of his words are only ways to make her feel better, she has to admit that it works.

Allowing herself to feel his warmth and relish in the soft vanilla scent that he carries around like a cloud of cotton candy, she whispers out her question, “can I ask for a favour?”

He cocks his head down at her, waiting.

“Could you play your violin for me?”

A smile so wide it causes his eyes to form crescent moons breaks across his face, “sure.”

Having someone understand her in a way that no one else can is a feeling close to exhilaration. She’s never felt that kind of closeness with anyone else before, and having Kevin know her deepest, darkest secrets and not judge her for it is relieving in a way that allows her to open up to him in a way that would’ve made her run for her life before.

The next day, she wakes up with puffed up eyes and a blotchy nose, only to find another post-it note stuck to her fridge. This time, there are two smiley faces and she can’t help but laugh.

Life is a little easier to deal with whenever he’s around. He doesn’t push her, doesn’t ask anything of her other than her silent support and her ear whenever he wishes to talk about something that’s been bothering him.

“Is there really nothing going on between you guys?” the guy with the dimple, whom she now knows is named Changmin, is always teasing her whenever Kevin is not around.

She blushes, “nothing’s going on.”

“Whatever it is, it’s definitely something that’s making him a whole lot happier these days,” another one of his friends, Jacob, says while munching on a slice of pizza, “so keep it up.��

“I’m sure that there are other reasons why he’s in a good mood,” she tries explaining faintly while wishing her cheeks won’t burn so obviously.

“I think he likes you.”

She gawks at Changmin. So does Jacob, who hits his shoulder a second later, “dude!”

“What?” seemingly unbothered, Changmin proceeds to stuff his face with some pizza, “did I say something I shouldn’t have? I’m just trying to speed things up.”

Hearing those words come out of Changmin’s mouth definitely rattles her, except — it can’t be true, considering the amount of beautiful girls that flock to their art academy like it’s one of their pre-requisites to be a student. She shrugs it off as mere teasing instead for the sake of her own sanity and tries not to think about it for the next few days to come. That, however, proves to be quite a challenging feat when the said young man’s actions make her heart flutter as if constantly ruffled by butterflies; like how he enjoys leaving her cute post-it notes with random words of wisdom or — if he’s feeling playful — with lame dad jokes, like how he ensures to wrap her in his sweater whenever it’s too cold out, or like how his permanence in her flat is a reminder that it is completely okay to be how she is.

“Can I show you something?” He asks one night in particular as he steps into her flat with a paper bag tucked under his arm.

She straightens up from her position on the couch, “what?”

Half-expecting him to pull it out of the mysterious bag in question, she blinks in confusion when he motions her to follow.

“Wear something warm,” he instructs, throwing her a random jacket hanging across her front door, “it’s cold out.”

She grumbles, but complies nevertheless before they set off down the road in comfortable silence. When she asks him where they are going, he only shakes his head in response with a mysterious smirk painted across his lips, not reassuring her in the least.

When they walk up to a park entrance currently closed to the public for construction, she pulls his arm back with a protest. But he makes a grab for her hand instead before pulling her along, right over the ‘no trespassing’ sign and into the thick foliage that shrouded them in momentary darkness.

“This is not reassuring,” she can’t help but murmur out, causing Kevin to chuckle softly in return. His palm squeezes hers in an attempt of comfort, and warm tingles unexpectedly rush down her spine.

The forest gets thicker as the trees close in around them, the sounds of the neighbourhood dissipating in the slow hum of the crickets echoing around their figures and filling the silence that feels utterly and blissfully peaceful. The more they walk, the more she finds her muscles relaxing to enjoy the serenity that fills up her soul in a way that no other medicine can, and impulsively breathes in the cold night air infused with a softened humidity lingering along her skin.

After what seems like an eternity of mindlessly walking through the dark, she hears Kevin murmur out:

“We’re here.”

And as she peeks over his shoulder, her eyes widen at the sight before her and her jaw goes slack with surprise.

Because right before her very eyes that peek over Kevin’s shoulder, a troop of golden glistening lights sparkle along the trees, into the tall grass surrounding them, bringing life to the endless night as though the stars themselves have fallen to mother earth.

It’s beautiful. It’s so fragile and breathtaking and just— magical.

“You said you wanted to catch fireflies,” his murmur breaks through the stunned silence accumulating in her heart and just like that, it jumps right through her throat and causes her chest to squeeze with emotion. Her eyes risk a glance up at his face only to see him already gazing down at her, a tender softness lingering in those dark pools reflected by the golden glow echoing around them.

She doesn’t know what to say, what to do. She’s touched beyond comprehension and fears that speaking will only make her cry. Biting her lip and looking down at their entwined fingers, there’s a fleeting suspicion that Changmin might be right after all.

“I—Uhm—I—That’s—“ she tries to make sense of the flurry of words bubbling up her throat, her cheeks reddening when she realizes that she’s said nothing but nonsense, though Kevin lets out a small laugh at her antics before reaching out to grab a passing glowing bug.

He fails miserably, as she does. They exchange soft giggles as they keep alternating. It’s harder than it looks and she finds herself giving up after a few failed attempts, content to sit down and enjoy the atmosphere instead. Kevin sits down beside her after some time, with hands cupped together and a mischievous smile on his face.

“Here,” he nudges her shoulder with his, before opening up his hands ever so slightly. Sure enough, there’s a glowing yellow orb in-between his cupped hands and she gasps in surprised happiness.

“Okay, now make a wish,” Kevin orders. She closes her eyes instantly and clasps her hands together for a few beats of silence. Then, she opens them again with a huge smile while gazing up at him like a kid about to go on her favourite adventure.

“One, two, three,…” his hands then release the firefly. It springs up in the darkness, fluttering for  bit, before whizzing over to its other counterparts as the pair watched with mesmerized eyes.

“I’d ask you what you wished for, but then that wouldn’t make it happen,” Kevin turns to her, lips still turned upwards with the remnants of a grin.

Does he realize how beautiful he is? She thinks to herself, her gaze never straying from his face as his smile slowly fades into puzzlement. He shifts towards her and it’s only then that she senses his warmth pressing against her side.

“What?” He cocks his head in curiosity, “Why are you smiling like that?”

“You’re gorgeous,” she blurts out before she can think twice about the consequences. Face heating up instantly when realization hits, she quickly ducks down to avert his eyes.

Smooth, she can’t help but scold herself inwardly, real smooth. She bites down onto her lower lip with growing nervousness.

To her ultimate surprise, Kevin just bursts out laughing, “thanks, but I think I need to return the compliment.”

“You’re just saying that to be nice,” she retorts and was about to continue babbling to stop herself from falling deeper and deeper into the pits of embarrassment, when she feels a sudden warmth cup her cheek to turn her head to his.

Her gaze locks onto Kevin’s own moonlit ones, heart rocking inside her chest at the gentleness swirling through his eyes. She can feel him, his warmth, his vanilla scent with a tinge of that minty smell he carries around with him like a breath of fresh air. The closeness renders her breathless, practically choking on air. She can’t feel anything. Not right now, at least.

All the pain, the sadness, comes to a standstill to give way to a new rise of emotion, as young as a baby bird slowly breaking out of its eggshell. It thrums through her chest, a melody that alights her with a fire that she didn’t know she had.

The air feels charged with electricity. Kevin shifts closer, nose brushing hers, breaths intermingling.

There’s nothing that can be said to describe the way her heart is constantly fluttering inside her chest like a hummingbird wishing to break free.

Giving her enough time to pull away if she wants to, he dips his head down, closer and closer, before his mouth finds hers.

Every inch of her body lights up with a fire when he kisses her softly, a mere pressure of his lips against her own. Her head bobs back in response, before his other hand comes up to hold her nape in place. Angling his head to the side, he slants his mouth over hers in a way that sends her heart racing right to the moon and her hands unconsciously come up to curl over the material of his dark hoodie to pull him closer.

She can hear the hum of the fireflies, feel the chill in the night breeze blowing through their clothes. But Kevin’s body surrounds her, pulls her in like a drug, and though her lungs are dying from lack of air, she can’t seem to stop from kissing him back gently.

He pulls back after a moment, mouth mere inches from hers and gazing at her through half-lidded eyes that hold a question.

A question she answers by closing her eyes and returning his kiss.

A surprised gasp bubbles up his throat, she smiles against his lips. Her hands weave around his neck, pull him in so that she can feel him, all of him, against her. He parts his mouth like a flower opening up to the sun, and she trembles at the sensation of his tongue swiping across her lower lip with a temptation that causes shivers down her spine.

Everything falls away, time escaping them without meaning as they keep holding each other tightly through the throng of dancing fireflies. She only comes to her senses when they break away and she gets a lungful of fresh air. But Kevin doesn’t relent, his mouth marking a warm path of kisses along her jaw, down her neck, nibbling softly on a sweet spot that makes her whimper in delight.

If she did have any doubts left, they are completely wiped out of her mind right now.

“Can I tell you something?” his mouth parts over her ear then, his breath sparking an electrical sizzle down her spine, “don’t freak out?”

Her heart is practically bursting out of her chest at this point. Her head dips down in a nod.

“I—“ his throat bobs up and down, his features flash with nervousness, “I like that you see me.”

Her mouth curves into a smile and she tries to bite her lip to stop herself from looking so foolishly happy, “I like that you see me too.”

He brushes back her hair, smoothing a hand down the side of her head, “I…I love that you see me, what I’m trying to say, what I think I want to say is—“ he exhales shakily, “that I like you. A lot.”

Her jaw falls slack. She blinks up at him, slightly lost.

Huh?

“I know, I know. I sound stupid. But I do, I really do. You don’t try to judge, you just listen and—you get it, you see what I am, who I am without trying to dissect what I do, or don’t do,” his voice is rough as he continues, “and that—it matters. It matters a lot. You matter,… to me.”  

The smile is inevitable at this point. It’s tugging up the corners of her mouth no matter how hard she tries to reel in her emotion. There’s a surge of happiness drumming through her stomach and though fear is lingering at the corner of her mind, she forcefully pushes it back. No, it’s not going to ruin anything. Not now.

Slowly, her hands grab his, fingers interlocking as though they’re meant to be there in the first place. Fluttering her eyes up to lock gazes with Kevin, who now looks unsure and uncertain, more fragile than she’s ever seen him, she squeezes his hand softly.

“You matter a lot,” she whispers, “to me, too.”

The smile that blossoms over his face is pure happiness. With a choked-up laugh, he doesn’t hesitate to hug her close as his nose buries itself in her hair while the fireflies flutter around them, golden specks of dust alighting the night with a newfound life that can only be seen for the ones who take the time to see, to search, to seek.

Just like she sees him. And he sees her, for what she is.

[claramurphyqueenoffandoms]

Well, I had a weird dream last night. At least, I think it was all a dream. Parts of it might have been me imagining it while I was half-asleep, I don’t know.

So, it starts out, Milo is in a coma. He was on an adventure with Cavendish and Dakota, but Murphy’s Law happened. Some alien generator or a portal exploded or something, and he got hurt, like way worse than usual. Now he won’t wake up. The doctors called Milo’s family, and Cavendish and Dakota are there waiting for them. They feel just awful because they let him get hurt (though it wasn’t actually their fault) and Cavendish takes out this pocketwatch. I think he was gonna give it to Milo as a birthday present, but now he can’t. But he gives it to Dakota, who loops it around and puts it on Milo like a necklace. I could see them saying something like ‘please, kid, come back.’

 But this whole time Milo’s asleep or in a coma, he’s aware of what’s going on except he can’t hear them. I couldn’t hear them either (but the dreamers get special privileges like knowing what’s being said without hearing it, I guess). All he can hear are these weird ethereal singing voices that keep glitching in and out. Suddenly, the whole world kind of glitches, and he wakes up, and he and his hospital bed are in this weird room with these four other people.

 …Okay, this might be a good time to tell you, this dream was basically VoicePlay’s “Queen in 5 Minutes,” but with all Disney XD characters. (I think it was because I’d been watching the video on loop basically all afternoon, including right before I went to bed. Because that video is seriously awesome.)

 So these four other DXD characters are the gods of Death in this multiverse.

-         Varian was Layne/Guardian, and he was wearing this grey furry vest and carrying a sword. But as soon as I saw him, I thought, he’s got Cass’s sword and Quirin’s vest. So that was super cool.

-         Stan Pines was Eli/Yama Nirvana, and his 8-ball cane was gold.

-         Scrooge McDuck was Geoff/Baron, and he was wearing his normal clothes, except the collar was red and the rest was black.

-         Wander was J. None/Anubis. He was wearing this jacket with the star from his hat all over it.

Also, they all had the face paint on them. It was probably not very much like the video, it was kind of vague, but they did all have some kind of face paint designs.

 Okay, so they’re the gods of death in the DXD multiverse. All of them died at one point or another (and most of their shows died too), so they were given the choice to either pass on or become gods of death. Scrooge was a little different, because his show wasn’t dead, but I think what it was was kind of like the Doctor, but also kind of like that Greek myth about Persophone, where every time something happens that kills him, he goes and has to do a shift as a god of death, then comes back. I just kinda knew that was the case, though, I don’t think they said it. I kinda want to figure out how on earth he got into a situation like that. (Now that I think about it, though, that’d probably be why there are so many hiatuses.) But the whole point is, when Milo went into his coma, they saw he was gonna die, and so they shifted reality to bring him into this special inbetween room. If he gives in here, he gets to be a god of death with them (basically forever).

So they all got introduced to Milo, by their names appearing beside their heads like in the video. Which Milo could apparently read. And after they’re all introduced, Wander just dances over to Milo and yanks his heart out, singing cheerfully. Man, he don’t care. He takes the scales out of his hat to weigh it. Once he’s done, he puts it all back in his hat, and throws that off to the side. Then Milo falls out of his bed, and in this he knows they’re all from cartoons and stuff, and he’s like, I think my writers are forgetting about me, so that’s why I’ve been so weak ever since I got back (from Octalia I guess?) So he’s actually getting scared, because he doesn’t have his backpack, he’s not being backed by his writers, and he’s not strong enough to fight back on his own, and he’s all alone. His friends won’t find him here.

 And he was imagining them wandering through this weird mystical dimension hospital—Zack, Melissa, Cavendish, and Dakota—sneaking around, trying to find him without getting caught. They kept avoiding the other people in the hospital. I’m not sure what qualified as a patient and what qualified as a doctor or nurse or something, but they had to avoid them both. They kept almost running into Bill Cipher as a human, which was something they had to avoid or something very bad would happen to them. They met Baby Cavenpus, I think. And Richard Maxwell. Which didn’t quite make sense, because he’s not from a DXD show? But whatever. They also kept seeing these five shadowy figures down at the end of hallways, and I kept thinking they were like the ghosts of VoicePlay or something. But the MML group met some of the patients in the hospital, which were… let me think, I seem to remember Ford, and Quirin, and… dang it, what was the purple horse’s name? … yeah, I don’t remember. Maybe it’ll come to me later. But anyway, they were all patients, and trying to escape, and find their friends/family (I guess not knowing they were now gods of death). So they teamed up with the MML gang to find their friends. But they passed right by where Milo’s room was, because it didn’t have a door, or maybe it was invisible.

 Then it went back to Milo. He thought they were actually passing by his room, or thought he saw them, and he yelled for them, but they didn’t hear him. And he wonders why they couldn’t find him. Then Scrooge puts his cane under Milo’s chin like in the video and says this isn’t a plane of reality people can just find. Milo is actually scared now, too scared to move. Where did I go wrong, he wonders? Scrooge lifts his cane and makes him stand, and he tells him he’s done nothing wrong, it’s not about that. No, it’s not exactly fair, but neither is life. And he takes his cane back and starts singing the part from the song. The other three are just glaring at him the whole time, partly because he’s the only one who’s still technically alive. But he slams his cane into the floor and makes Milo fall back onto the bed, and he sings the part about bad mistakes, and “I-I-I-I’ve made a fe-e-ew.” He didn’t even sound like Geoff, he literally sounded like Scrooge McDuck singing. The others are rolling their eyes, like, yeah, a few. But he’s ignoring them, and says he’s had to deal with all that, but he came through in the end. And the others are singing the background parts about “He could go on and on and on…”

 He does this evil laugh (well, maybe not evil, but you know what I mean) and he looked like he was about to continue, but then Stan and Wander and Varian start singing “We Are the Champions” all together, and Scrooge just gives them a death glare like, you wicked warblers, ye stole mah part. But they’re totally ignoring him, except for Stan, who’s just flaunting it. And Milo’s here in the middle of it, watching this whole rivalry thing play out. Wander and Varian are ignoring all that, though, just singing at the top of their lungs, and Wander dancing around, and being so friendly to Varian and getting him to have fun and dance around with him, and they seriously looked like they were having a super fun time, those two. #cinnamonrolls  I think they’re trying to get Milo to dance and sing too, and he almost looked like he wanted to, but he held back. But while Wander and Varian are completely ignoring the rivalry of the other two, Stan sings right in Scrooge’s face, and Scrooge does the thing in Stan’s eye like “No time for losers,” and Stan starts to get mad.

 So then he starts yelling at Scrooge, and everyone else shuts up to watch. I’m not entirely sure how this whole part went, but it was a lot about the rivalry. I think it might have played twice in the dream. The first time he was getting mad specifically at Scrooge, because they were partners(-in-crime) and worked together to make money, but Scrooge went on and did his own thing, got rich and successful and all. Oh, wow, just like his brother. But yeah, he was mad about it, and he’s like, yeah, you happy about that? Then… you know, I think it did play twice. The second time, he was just talking about his life in general. And Stan’s like, you think you had it tough, Mister Zillionaire? Look at all the crap I had to put up with, and all the stuff I had to pull to fix that stupid portal, and save my stupid brother, and I still died trying to stop a stupid triangle, and you’re talking about troubles? I had to stand ALL the heat, how long can you do it? How long before you have to face the bullets and die like the rest of us? And guess what, you might still have some kind of life, that might be your little solo here, but death is OUR beat. This time, it’s our call. We get to decide what happens now. It was actually kind of a cool speech.

 And I think it kind of gets the others on his side about this, and they join in the argument. They all want to decide what happens to Milo now, so they’re going back and forth about it. I think Stan wants to decide for himself, Wander wants to take him somewhere else, Varian wants them to stick to the rules, and nobody is sure what Scrooge wants. Then they all just jump in at the same time to grab Milo, to pull him to whatever fate they decide, or to keep the others from taking him, because they all have different ideas of what his fate should be. And it’s like in the video, where they’re all surrounding him, and Stan’s cane and Varian’s (well, Cass’s) sword crossed over his chest.

 Of course, Milo is freaking out over this whole process. I mean, how would you like four gods of Death fighting over you with their weapons at your throat? He shuts his eyes tight and just screams PLEASE STOP, I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! The others stop pulling at him, but just stay right where they are. I can’t handle this, he says, it’s just too much pressure. All of you trying to drag me away to my death. But then he starts singing “Pressure” from his show, instead of the song from this part in the video. Musical accompaniment from nowhere, of course, for literally the only time in the dream. And… wait, were there words? I think there were. I think he sang his own lyrics to it, but I have no idea what they were. Dang it, why can’t I ever remember the songs in my dreams??

 But the others are like, well fine, fair point, but we’re the gods of death here, whaddya WANT US to do? And he just replies by singing the part from the song “I want to break FREE-E-E-E!” and throws his hand in the air. And for some reason that knocks all of them back, and they’re all really confused. But Milo just looks at them and he’s like, you really don’t care what happens to me, you just care about yourself and this crazy rivalry. You don’t need me, and I don’t need any of this. Well if your so smart, what do you think you need, they ask? And he says, I don’t know what I need. All I know is I want to break free from all this. They shake their heads as they step closer. ‘Fraid you can’t do that. It’s not your choice. And the lights go dim, because time’s almost up. Milo realizes now: he’s about to die.

 I think here it went back to the MML gang and the patients. Because apparently they aren’t just in Milo’s imagination anymore, and they’re just randomly really there. The whole thing could’ve been Milo’s dream, but I kinda don’t think so. But they saw the lights in the hospital go dim, and somehow knew that meant Milo was going to die. Maybe the patients knew, like Ford or something. So they rushed to find him quick. But then they went around a corner and ran right into the human Bill Cipher. He looked a little like the tall red guy in Hazbin Hotel, except yellow and black, and, you know, BILL. (I haven’t watched the show, but I’ve seen a few clips in music videos) So they all ran away, and he kept chasing them through the halls of the hospital. Here it kinda turned into nightmare, because it seemed like we just couldn’t get away. (oh and in this part of the dream, I was seeing it through Cavendish’s eyes, not just watching it happen). At one point, I think the patients turned around to fight him, but he made the blue chains appear around their necks and pulled them back to him. Then he started chasing us again. When he was chasing us, they weren’t there, though. We couldn’t get away. It was like almost every time we turned a corner to get away from him, he was there where we were about to go, ready to spring. We kept running, but he finally cornered us. The patients were there again, floating chained in the air behind him and struggling to get free. I think it was only Ford and Quirin this time though? Not… SYLVIA! That was her name! Sylvia. But she wasn’t there at the time for whatever reason. But we were cornered, and I was just so upset (well, Cavendish was). Cavendish said he let Milo get hurt and he’s about to die, and now he’s led two more kids and his best friend right into Death’s hands. He says he’s sorry to them, and whispers it to Milo, like “I’m sorry, Milo.”

 Well, I don’t know if you’d say Milo felt that or what, but I think he did. In his last few moments, Milo looks down and finds the pocketwatch Cavendish and Dakota gave him, and he touches it and thinks about them. They’re like these crazy sci-fi uncles to him, but they’re really his friends. And then he remembers his family, and Zack and Melissa and his other friends, and he just really hopes they think of him after all this, because he misses them a lot. The moment he gives in, he’ll be losing all of them.

 I feel like there was a part of the dream that I remembered here that didn’t actually happen before, where Bill said that Cavendish and Dakota were supposed to die, and he’d let the other two go if they agreed to stay, because he’d been cheated out of getting Cavendish way too many times, so he wanted them both now. He couldn’t let Milo go, because he was in with the gods of Death, nobody can get him out of there. And I think Cavendish and Dakota just looked at each other and nodded, and Dakota told the other two to say bye to Milo for them, and Cavendish stepped up to shake Bill’s hand. Of course the thing about it is that I just kind of remembered this as happening, in the middle of the scene with Milo, but I hadn’t seen it happen. Dreams are weird.

 But I remembered that happening, and I thought, well, Milo is still losing them all. He’s losing C&D to death and losing all the others to life. He can never see any of them again until the moment they die. And this time, the others around him are just quiet. They all had to leave people behind when this happened, too, and they know this is the case for all of them. Most of them are also remembering the people they lost in life too (Scrooge lost Della, Stan lost Ford, Varian lost Quirin). So they know how this poor kid feels. But they’re like, they say it should be easy, but even though it isn’t, these are the rules. This is how you gotta play the game, and now it’s your turn. Just give in.

 And it was at that moment that I suddenly thought, wait, did you seriously just invite Milo freaking Murphy to play a freaking game?

 Well, I think Milo must have had the same thought, because he stands up on his bed and rips out all the cords and IVs hooked up to him. Then the lights suddenly undim and he looks around at them and he says, you know what, you can knock me right down with whatever you’ve got, but I’m always getting back up again! Then he points right at the camera (or whatever it is in a dream—I remember thinking he was talking to Dan and Swampy) and he sings, you think you can love me and leave me to die? Well, sorry, but you can’t! I’m getting out of here, and I’m getting back to my family and friends, because I’ve got something no game and none of you can beat!

 So then, Varian draws Cass’s sword, and he’s like, careful, I like you, but if you try anything crazy, I’m gonna have to use this. But then Milo looks down at his hand, and it starts supercharging with this red energy: Murphy’s Law. He then shoots it right at Varian, who vanishes in a puff of smoke. And here I was aware of two scenes going on at the same time, this one and the one with the others. When Milo shot Murphy’s Law at Varian and made him disappear, Quirin’s chain snapped. When Milo turns and does the same to Stan and Wander, the chains for Ford and Sylvia (who’s back now I guess) snap too. Bill is freaking out because he doesn’t understand what’s happening (and neither do the MML gang). But I think they can hear the song going on, and they know Milo’s doing something. And Milo does the exact line from the song, “I’ll face it with a grin, I’m never giving in, oh no,” while Scrooge is giving him this smile that says, go on lad, you’ve earnt it. He shoots Scrooge with Murphy’s Law, and he vanishes too. Bill gets knocked back on the ground when that happens, and the wall nearby turns into a door. So the MML gang run toward it, because it’s Milo’s door. Then Milo turns right toward the camera and sings “SHOW MUST GO ON!” before turning around and walking up to the curtains behind his bed. Behind him, the others come through the door. He opens the curtains…

 And wakes up in his bed. Cavendish and Dakota sit up straight in their chairs and gasp. They look at each other like, wait we’re still here? Was that real? But then Milo groans, and they see he’s there and he’s alive. And they both come over and hug him. Milo just says, thanks guys. Then Zack and Melissa rush in, and when they see Milo, they give each other the same kind of looks C&D just did. Then they run over and hug Milo too. It’s a very happy tearful reunion, and then it fades out into white, just like the video.

 And I mean, that’s not exactly the end of the dream, because then there was this kind of dream epilogue or something, where the four guys are just watching the happy ending from the white place that the ending faded into. They’re actually looking pretty pleased. I think they cheer when Milo’s family comes in a minute later. They start talking about how it was better he didn’t become one of them just yet, he’s still got his life to live. Stan looks over at Scrooge and is like, I bet you just set the whole thing up to prove it, huh? Prove the kid? And Scrooge replies, believe me, I wasn’t about to rouse your rivalry without a very good reason.

 But what about that dreamtime death demon, he asks? And Stan’s like, don’t you worry, I think there’s some people that’ll be more than ready to give him his. Cue Bill getting up surrounded by Ford, Quirin, and Sylvia. He laughs and says, you really think you’re gonna be able to stand up to me, with the power I have over you? Ford says not really, but they probably will, and thumbs behind him. And the ghosts of VoicePlay come up and they look mad, because Bill messed with their reality and put it together with all these others and made it all crazy like this, so they go beat him up.

 Stan and Scrooge laugh. But now they don’t have anything to do, because Milo was the last thing on their list. So Wander is just like, let’s have a dance party, and Varian’s like, yeah man, let’s do it, and highfives him. Or however many fingers they have. And they just start dancing, to… I don’t know what the song was. It might’ve just been made up. Or maybe it was part of the actual song? I don’t know. And I think there might’ve been more, like another dream, but I don’t really remember it. I think it was another one with VoicePlay.

 So yeah, that’s about it. I just spent the last three hours typing that up, as soon as I got up, so hopefully it’s good? It’s just so bizarre, but also kind of cool? And I haven’t had cool dreams like this in a while, so it was definitely welcome. I guess it’s kind of an indicator of what’s going on in my brain these days.

 (now I kinda wanna fic it)

[foolishlovebugbaby]

skz’s reaction to their s/o being a classical musician

requested by @wxnterlee​!! i hope you like it, sorry it took so long hkjdhfkhsg <33

bang chan

The first time he’s introduced to you is at a busking event at a christmas market

It’s the holiday season, so skz being skz they wanted to really feel that christmas spirit

But as they’re strolling, they reach this live band playing christmas tunes

And usually those mellow, low-key songs would play around this time of year but this band was anything but that

It was lively and every synonym for jolly

And as he scans the band, his eyes finally land on you

You’re playing the saxophone with so much energy and really feeling the music that his eyes are just so drawn to you

He can’t explain it, but he can’t take his eyes off of you

It doesn’t help that you’re extremely attractive either

His eyes never leave you through the entirety of the performance, and you definitely take notice

Mans is as subtle as a gun lmao

You make it a point to smile at him directly after the first set of performances because ure cheeky like that, and you immediately see him flush in the cold

So now he frequents the market and always makes sure to catch at least one performance of yours 

But then one day you approach him and chan internally yells because he’s in a hetero panic 

But then he chills out because you’re so warm and inviting and you both get to know each other slowly

Needless to say, the rest was history

As a boyfriend, chan is your number 1 hype man

And i mean Hype Man

He always makes it a point to watch your performances whenever he can

Esp whenever you have big recitals that get you all nervous, he’s always there no matter what to cheer you on and give you a pep talk and take you out for a celebration dinner afterwards

And he loves the way you light up when you play

The sheer passion in the way you perform and in everything you do in general makes him fall so deeply in love with you each time

He’s also a clown and never fails to try and attempt to play the saxophone whenever you have it with you

He fails miserably, but he’s cute and you love him more than anything else :’)

lee know

Knowing the crackhead he is, the only reason why he was able to meet you was because instead of booking a cinema ticket for frozen 2, he booked a musical titled Frozen II

The show had nothing to do with badass sisters and magical talking stones (it was some winter musical or sumn, minho wasn’t sure), and the moment he realised this, he was all pouty

But then he scanned over the orchestra and thought that for once his dumbass worked with him and not against him

Because there you sat, looking as ethereal as ever, playing the harp

He swore up and down you were a goddess

Like, hera or aphrodite’s reincarnate

The only magic he saw that night was you, and he was more than happy about that

He tried his hardest to meet you, to tell you what an amazing job you did, but alas, he couldn’t reach you because visitors weren’t allowed to go backstage

So he got all sulky and :(( as he exited the theatre

But by a miracle, as he was walking back to his car, he saw a certain someone struggling with bags and equipment of all sorts as they walked out of the back entrance, and minho’s heart skipped a beat when he realised it was you

Of course he rushes to help you bea=cause chivalry 

And he makes it a point to compliment you and make small talk as he helps you to your car

As fate would have it, the two of you become good acquaintances, then close friends, and even closer more-than-friends until you finally had the guts to just ask him to be your boyfriend and you don’t even take a breath before he says yes

Minho as a bf is minho as a bff but on lsd i swear to god

He already goes to majority of your performances, but when that boy is cuffed jesus christ he makes sure he’s in the front row for every damn performance no matter how small

You’re his harp-playing goddess who walked straight out of eden in his eyes, how could he not???

He’s also humorously afraid to go near your harp because he knows the moment he’s within arms length from it, something will go wrong

Being the weirdo he is he always finds a way of personifying your harp and whining about how you spend much more time with it than with him

And you’re like??? And he’s all like :((( 

So you just have to give him a cuddle and boop

Ugh what a cutie

changbin

Dark rapper meets classy cello player???? 

An aesthetic.

Because you both are polar opposites in the music world, the only reason you knew about him is because your mutual friend had dragged you to an underground rap battle (much to your dismay) as a way to “get you out of your shell”

As much as you thought you’d hate it, you really enjoyed yourself

Esp when you laid your eyes on Changbin

Just everything about his aura was so enthralling to you and you so desperately wanted to get to know him and asked your friend to introduce you, but to no avail :((

After that, you didn’t really see him again

But one fateful night, unbeknownst to you, your friend had dragged changbin all the way to your music studio because he was in desperate need of a recording booth as the ones in the company were all occupied 

When he entered, what he did not expect was to witness an absolute daydream right before his eyes

You sat inside the booth playing the cello, recording a snippet of a symphony you so desperately needed practice on, and hadn’t noticed them walked in, too concentrated on the music sheet in front of you

But oh god, to say changbin was impressed was an understatement

Dang he thought he produced good music, but the music that you made???? 

Absolutely magical.

When you ended the piece and looked up, you almost had a heart attack

Literally jumped out of your seat a lil bit because they both were just staring at you

But once you both introduced yourselves, it was like you both were two sides of the same coin

You both grow closer and realise that you really are opposites of each other

But in a good way??? like everything is so complimentary

So you shared your playlist of symphonies and he shared his playlist of lyrical masterpieces and these songs suddenly become the soundtrack to your love story 

Ugh he’s such an amazing boyfriend because he helps you with his recordings and vice versa

You’re both super critical of your own work so the pair of you make it a point to remind each other of how good you’re doing 

And just being with you opened up this whole new world of music for changbin 

He’s so grateful for it that he can’t describe it in words

He even asks you to record small pieces so that he can add them into his music

And you have a habit of turning skz’s and his own music into cello versions

Thank god opposites attract

hyunjin

Mister dancer over here loves going to dance workshops of different types

Hip-hop, contemporary- you name it

So when he signed up for a 2-week modern dance class, he definitely got more than he bargained for

He didn’t know what he was supposed to expect, but goddamnit he did not expect to have his limbs feel like they were falling apart

So after class, when everyone had left, he literally just laid on the floor all sweaty and tired wanting nothing more than to crash n sleep

But then !!

He heard a piano melody echo through the room, a mix of melancholic yet romantic notes floating through the air

And when he lifted his head up to look for the source of the sound, his eyes settled on your figure at the other end of the hall

As it turns out, you were the pianist for this specific studio and for all modern dance productions

You didn’t notice him at all- mostly because the lights were dimmed and mans was too busy dying on the floor to make his presence known

But dear lord did your music make him feel some typa way

He just wanted to dance to it, express himself through it

So once you finished, he just clapped from where he was on the floor without getting up

Think lazy seal on its back

Nevermind the fact that he literally almost made you scream

But you both introduced yourselves properly to one another, and let’s just say that hyunjin started to look forward to his bone-breaking classes a lot more than he would’ve thought

At first it was purely because he thought u were cute and he had a middle school crush on you

But then as the days progressed, he found himself more and more drawn to you and the way you played the piano

Always so concentrated and the expression on your face mimicked the piece you were playing

And agghfhf he loved being able to dance to your melodies

So when his lil 2-week excursion was over, he was all :(((((((((((((x10009283 because he knew he wouldn’t be able to see you as often

So he mustered up all his strength to ask you out on a proper date

Now, when you both become official, dear lord is this man always going to ask you to play something for him

Literally the ABC’s would suffice 

He’s just so smitten with you and your love for the piano that he always wants to see you play because it lights up your entire face

And when you compose pieces just for him to dance to, his heart m e l t s

He also always begs you to teach him, but he’s such a flirt that not much teaching goes on lol

It makes me feel loopy imagining hyunjin dance to the melody his s/o plays like do u feel me ohmygod idk what to do w myself

han

Han’s first encounter with you was purely accidental

Like a literal accident

As in, he was just walking down the sidewalk not really paying attention when he ran into you

You, a clumsy violinist who had just exited your apartment complex in a rush to get to your lesson that you were already late for, suddenly found yourself knocked over and on the sidewalk in a daze

Jisung was h o r r i f i e d

He rushed to your aid, helping your disoriented self stand up but

Your fall was the least of your worries

Because there, strewn across the sidewalk, was your life your love your baby

Your violin

You rushed to it and inspected it for any dents and scratches and phew

Thank god your hard case protected it for the most part, save for minor dents and scratches

So you let out a breath and finally face the culprit of your heart palpitations

And suddenly you’re given a different set of heart palpitations because big, round eyes of an extremely, unfairly handsome man looks at you with concern and guilt and you suddenly forget how you ended up there in the first place

Lots of apologies from han’s side and he offers to buy you a drink 

But you’re in a rush so you tell him nah

But he’s like pls pls and so you’re like but i have to go and he’s like i’ll wait for u and you’re like O-O o-ok,,,

So he sits awkwardly outside your practice studio, but the moment he hears and sees you play through the glass window, he feels the wind knocked out from his chest

So now he just makes it a point to get to know you by asking you out more and more 

Like changbin, when you both become a thing, your relationship revolves so much around your mutual love of music 

And he lovesss getting to help you improve and vice versa

And on your one year anniversary he bought you a replacement violin to make up for the one he scratched up during your first meeting and you’re just like :’)))) i would’ve destroyed my violin a thousand times if it meant getting to meet you :’)))))

felix

Like minho, it’s Felix’s sheer crackheadness that allows fate to cause the two of you to meet

Like one day he decides on a whim that he wants to learn the viola so he books classes on the first learning centre he sees on the internet

But when he got to the class,,,,

As it turns out, the one that he booked was for beginner kids, not beginner adults

Cue tiny heads plus yours snapping to the door and staring at a blushing felix

Not only did he just embarrass himself in general, but the moment he saw how attractive you were he just wanted the world to swallow him whole

But he paid a good amount of money for it so he sucks in his cheeks and decides to stay for the class

He’s so awkward when he comes into the room ksdfjs you find it so cute because even though he’s like more than twice the height of the kids, his face and expression are just as small

You introduce yourself and vice versa, and you begin teaching everyone the basics

Immediately felix has a crush on you

And he wonders whether there’s a big age gap because uhm you’re a teacher and he’s a student

But turns out you do this as a side job and are a performing arts school student with the same age as him and he’s just like :DDD 

So now he always makes sure to come to class on time

Actually, even earlier than on time because he wants to get some alone time with you before the rest of the class cockblocks intervenes

And slowly you both develop a strong bond

Even though he’s a crackhead and it’ll take you 2757264597 years to explain to him the difference between a viola and a violin, you don’t mind because at least with him being your boyfriend, you can give him a kiss to shut him up abt it :)

Even after his viola classes ended and you both became official, he still had a lot of interest in learning that instrument so you always teach him

And he offers to pay for lessons but you always reject it because duh hello you’re my bf shutup just give me a kiss and buy me ice cream instead??

And he teaches you a thing or two about dance, even though you look like those blow-up mascots in front of car dealerships whenever you do

He thanks the universe that he’s goofy and a crackhead, because at least he now has you :))

seungmin

So on a trip to a jazz house is when seungmin first met you

Yes, a jazz house

Don’t ask why but skz just wanted to go okay let them be

They watched multiple groups perform and were having the time of their lives

But something about you just caught seungmin’s eye

You were apart of the last group coming to perform and you played the double bass

He thought you looked so goddamn cool and slick whenever you played 

And he found it adorable the way the instrument was almost the exact same size as yourself

Like chan, he’s about as subtle as a gun with the way he looks at you

And he’s so enthusiastic during the performance, always hooting and clapping after each song 

And you take notice and find him so absolutely adobable because who wouldn’t

And after the performance he even yells encore so loudly and the rest of skz just laughs at his antics

But mans is so shy to approach you afterwards

He can barely move towards you 

It takes a jeongin a hyunjin and a whole ass changbin to mentally and physically push seungmin to say hi to you

And after a whole 10 minutes of convincing, he finally does

And you both talk and talk and talk that he doesn’t realize all the boiz left him

Traitors

So the two of you make plans to meet up another day

Another day becomes two

Then three

Then ten

And soon enough (after much pushing again from the entire skz) he asks you to be his officially

He always tries to show up to any and all of your gigs, big or small

And he’s sooooo boastful about it it’s so cute like he’ll have videos saved on his phone of you playing and send them to anyone and everyone

His parents, the skz gc

Almost sent it to jyp himself too lmao

You’re just so cool to him that he wants the rest of the world to know it as well

But, like minho, he won’t go near your instrument

He’s so intimidated by it it’s hilarious

So he sticks to watching it from afar and hfkjhkgjfh

Big smooch 

i.n

During a music event is when jeongin first laid eyes on you

But not because he saw you perform

Your performance group shared the same backstage lounge as skz and everyone was just getting to know each other

And you and jeongin really clicked well because you both were the youngest and the same age 

He had absolutely no clue who u were tho and he didn’t want to be rude so he didn’t ask what kpop group u were from

But as it turns out you weren’t apart of a kpop group at all

You were apart of an orchestra doing a special stage and you played the flute and jeongin was just like O_O when he found out 

You played the flute and damn did u play it well

Jeongin just stood in front of the screen astounded and seungmin did not and will not stop clowning him for it

After it ended, jeongin was quick to congratulate and compliment you 

And he rambles about how it was so unexpected and you blush so much because he’s so cute

And so you both exchange numbers and frequently text from then on, becoming really good friends

And then slowly developing feelings for each other

Cue cute highschool confession tingz

Jeongin as a bf is super adorable

He’s always asking you to send voice notes of you playing the flute

But not just to any song

He’ll request crackhead ones like the wii music, some trot song, into the unknown

And you’re just like????? Okay, my quirky king

And in return you force him to send voice notes of him singing more trot songs

He attempts to play your flute

But he always messes up but he’s so adorable that you tell him he’s doing great just so that he keeps playing cutely

:’))))))))))

choosing to do ot8 now,,, it’s difficult to imagine skz as ot9 in my head then be brought back to reality of ot8.. please understand :( but i will take separate woojin requests

[disneychannie]

Love story | l. jeno

Pairings: Lee Jeno x reader

Genre: Angst, a pinch of fluff

Word count: 4.07k words (wow hsjfhj)

Warnings: Mentions of severe heartbreak, swearing

Summary: Lee jeno wanted you so badly. As cliché as it always was, he took you for granted and never exactly realised how much you mean to him after you aren’t his anymore.

A/n: Sorry if this is kinda messy :/ found it in the deep dark depths of my drafts and i decided to just add a few other things and yeah lol hope it’s not too bad...

Read part 2 here

What if he tried harder? Would it make a difference? Would you still be with him? Will he still love you?

He’s still young, and for someone who just got into his 20′s, he’s still new with this falling in love thing. Sure, he fell in love countless times back in high school but those were different. It’s always those stupid crushes that would last barely even two weeks. But this, this is different. 

He had liked you since the first day he saw you in his physics lecture hall during freshman year. You sat beside a guy who he assumed was named Renjun and he saw how your eyes would close every time you would laugh whenever Renjun made you laugh and damn, you looked pretty darn cute. He found out from his best friend Jaemin, who is also yours, that you and Renjun have been friends for so long you guys are practically siblings. Once he knew that the two of you weren’t a couple he was at ease. 

One thing tho, who wouldn’t like you? You were the prettiest he’s ever seen. May sound cliche but it’s true. He sat a few rows behind you but it was the perfect seat. He could see a clear view of you; He thought you looked really cute when you’re focused. The way your eyebrows would furrow, and your plump lips forming a straight line as you tried to catch everything the professor said. He should be doing the same thing but he just couldn’t get his eyes over you. 

The first time you talked was at a party that some sophomore named Taeyong threw. He and Taeyong were quite close despite the age gap, they practically had the same circle of friends which made them both instantly close which made Taeyong invite him to his party. He didn’t want to go in the first place but when he heard Jaemin said that you were going to the party, Jeno was ecstatic. He’s not usually the one to go to parties, plus, his alcohol tolerance was pretty bad but if it meant he would see you, it wouldn’t be bad right?

Now Jaemin knows his best friend like the back of his hand and the second he saw Jeno looking at you at that physics lecture, he knew his best friend was head over heels for you. He purposely said that you were coming out loud just so that Jeno could here. In a way, he was probably the reason why you and Jeno were together in the first place. At least at some point.

It was, in fact, his first party in college and the second he steps foot in the party venue, which seemed to be like Taeyong’s house with a few of his friends, it was pretty dang crowded and the smell of alcohol made was soon caught by his nose and he scrunched his face at the strong scent. He went to the party with Jaemin who left his side immediately to join a game of beer pong. Typical Jaemin. Instead, he opted in chugging bottled water. He bumped into Taeyong and did small talk with other people at the party. Something was missing tho, he didn’t see you. Jaemin said you would be here but you were nowhere in sight. Did he lie to him just so that Jeno could go to the party?

He scoffed at the thought and decided on going somewhere quieter where there weren’t any drunkards. He opened a door which seemed to be the master bedroom to only to see a figure standing out the balcony. It was you. He stared at you long enough during lectures to recognize your figure. He wanted to approach you but suddenly he got nervous and he could feel himself getting sweaty. It was ridiculous, really. At the same time, he didn’t want to bother you because of how peaceful you looked. Even when you’re back was facing him, you looked absolutely stunning.

He didn’t want to be a pussy no more so he went to your figure. Slowly pushing the sliding door, the creaking sound it produced made you turn around. Fuck you’re so beautiful. He froze. How can someone be so ethereal? You were wearing simple clothing but it made you look like a goddess. You smiled at him and turned back around

“Tired of the party already?” You spoke. Oh how soothing your voice sounded, he was definitely in love. 

Making his way towards you, he leaned against the railing, mirroring your actions and looked out at the quiet night. The blaring sound of the music was not much heard there and it was perfect. 

“Not much of a party person,” He admitted, which was true though. Jeno was never keen on the idea of partying. “My friend dragged me here,” Which was also true, “How about you?”

You turned your head to him and he was lost in words. You’re so pretty up close in he never thought he would have the chance to even be this close to you. It was dark out but the light from the moon illuminated your face and he could see your beautiful features. 

“Same for me, my friend dragged me here and I guess you can tell that I'm not one to party too,” You replied looking back at the view in front of you.

From there, a new relationship between the both of you started. For some reason, since that day at the balcony, he saw a lot more of you. The occasional “hello’s” coming from you was simple enough to bring him towards the edge. You would laugh every time you saw him blush at your greeting and wow your laugh was just music to your ear. 

The love that Jeno had for you seemed to grow even more and without him realizing, you were starting to like him too. Yes, he was shy most of the time but you liked how easy-going he is despite the slight awkwardness, plus you thought he was kind of cute.

You got closer with him and then study dates were now a thing. At a small coffee shop near the campus where both of you would spend your Friday's at. Passing through notes from your recent lectures and mostly you talking to him. There was something about Jeno that made you open up to him slightly easier. It was shocking though since you weren’t the type to open up to someone that fast even for Renjun it took you a whole year to finally trust him but with Jeno, it only took you a few months. You really liked Jeno.

Not long after, Jeno finally confessed to you and he was finally able to call him yours. It was cliche, the typical walk in the park in the middle of the night as he confessed to you about how much he loved you and to his surprise you told him you loved him too. Right there, under the stars in the middle of the night, you shared your first kiss with him. He loved how soft your lips were and how you tasted like your cherry chapstick. Sweet he thought. Since then, he was addicted to your kisses.

It didn’t take long for the others to find out that both of you are finally together. Jeno could never forget about how Renjun threatened to punch him so hard that his nose will break if he would ever dare to break your heart. He was scared of him for sure, even though Jeno was taller and bigger than him, the smaller bodied Renjun did scare him shitless.

 Being with you was absolute magic for him. He liked how outgoing you are and how it was easy for both of you to communicate. You did have a lot in common which made everything much more easier. Late-night dates driving around town in Jeno’s beat-up truck. It was just perfect. Or so you thought. You loved Jeno with every inch of your being and you thought he did too.

During sophomore year, everything just seemed to be different between you two. The study dates became more infrequent and the text messages have become quieter. You thought this distance was caused by how busy your classes were starting to be. You never really thought about anything else other than that because you trusted Jeno, he was your source of happiness. He wouldn’t do some crazy shit, wouldn’t he?

The others seemed to catch on with whatever was happening between the two of you and they started to get worried. You were like two peas in a pod, inseparable. Now they only see you at their lunch table but you're always buried in some type of assignment while Jeno was never present. You soon realized that Jeno was never around too but every time you asked him about it, it’s always the “I'm busy,” or “I'm tired from today’s class,”. You tried to understand, you really did, but he wasn’t being helpful at all. All you wanted was to see him but he always had to make up an excuse that he wanted to be alone and finish his own assignments. He could be right but there’s something that made his excuse sound sketchy.

Jeno fucked up. He definitely did. He was never busy with assignments. He only had two during the first two weeks of the semester and that was it. It wasn’t even one of those really hard ones where you needed weeks of researching. He just started developing feelings for someone else.

Jeno still loves you, oh he really does but, it was just that when he first started seeing Yeri, it was like a whole new experience. He didn’t know why he was like this when he was clearly still in love with you and the fact that he was cheating on you, totally hit the nail on the head. He tries to forget about Yeri but he couldn’t. All those times he said he couldn't come to see you was because he was meeting up with Yeri. He just liked the way Yeri was just there with him.

He knew he fucked up again when he kissed her. It wasn’t even her who made the first move but him. As their lips were attached with each other, his heart was telling to stop and to think about how you would feel about this but his brain told him that this was something he needed to do and yeah you guessed it, he listened to his brain. The worst thing is that Jaemin knew about this and never told you about it. They just didn’t know how to react. Usually, when Yeri would hang out at Jeno and Jaemin’s shared dorm, Jaemin saw happier he actually looks with Yeri. You might think that Jaemin was being an asshole and not talk about Jeno about this but he has. Just, Jeno’s words got to him and a part of him was somehow okay with this but the other part was trying to hold himself back from punching Jeno in the face. He felt bad for you. You’re one of the sweetest people he knows and he knows that you don’t deserve any of this crap.

Eventually, Jaemin couldn't help himself by telling the rest. The rest were fumed with Jeno, especially Renjun and he even tried to confront Jeno about it but Jaemin held him back because they shouldn’t be meddling in between your relationship with Jeno even when he’s supposed to tell you about all this.

You could tell that the rest was acting different and they were a tad bit nicer to you than usual. Even Donghyuck, who always had to pick a fight with you, became nice. It was weird but you couldn’t comprehend what was happening or why they were acting like this. You then thought back, does this have to do anything with Jeno? Was he cheating on you? You couldn’t think properly that was the only thing you could think of and it was driving you crazy. Thinking about the worst-case scenarios is not something you would do but you haven’t seen your boyfriend for 3 weeks for fuck's sake what else would you think of?

[You]: Jeno can we talk?

It took him quite a while to reply but he finally did.

[Jeno]: Can’t sorry, I'm busy.

That was the last straw for you. It looks like he’s not even trying to make this work. You couldn’t help but cry. You were tired of this and you missed Jeno so much, you’re just confused towards why he was being like this to you. All you have done was be patient with all the shit he put you through and he’s not even trying to even fix this shit up.

Jeno was busy. Busy with Yeri. He didn’t know what made him do all this but Yeri was addicting. He found her kiss to be more comforting than yours and how her lips felt great with his. He has been doing this for weeks now and usually, he would feel extremely guilty as if he committed a crime but now, he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. The thought of you was somewhere deep in his brain that wasn’t reachable. He wanted to love you again but he just couldn’t. All he could think about was Yeri. Sometimes he would question himself, what happened to freshman Jeno that was head over heels for you? Who would at some point take a bullet for you. He wanted to talk to this about someone and it, of course, he would go to Jaemin.

Jaemin felt bad for his friend, but at the same time, he felt bad for you. He knew Jeno was the cause to all of this but he had known Jeno since the days where they would literally shit themselves and Jeno was like a brother to him. No words would describe how furious he was towards Jeno but he saw how his friend was completely lost in this situation and the moment he saw Jeno cry, it completely broke him. 

“I don’t know what to do Jaemin,” The boy cried as he buried his face in his pillow.

“Do you still love y/n?” He questioned. That made the boy finally look up at him. He doesn’t know how to answer that. Wait, he does, but just doesn’t know how to say it without sounding like a complete dick.

Jeno shook his head. Fresh new tears came rolling down the curve of his cheeks. Jaemin wanted to scream at Jeno for being stupid and instead of breaking up with you, he was literally cheating on you. He was at a loss of words and all he could do was comfort his friend while Jeno cried on his shoulder. Jeno wanted to love again but he just couldn’t. 

“Do you want me to talk to her for you?” Jaemin suggested.

Jeno shook his head and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “It’s my problem, I’ll do it myself,” 

The other boy nodded. “Just don’t make her find out on her own,”

Renjun was doing everything he could to comfort you and he knew as your best friend he should be telling you about Jeno but when Jaemin told him that Jeno was going to do it himself, he felt a sense of guilt creeping up to his chest. 

You had enough. Jeno was being completely unreasonable and you have to get to the bottom of this. Arriving at Jeno and Jaemin’s door, you hesitantly knock on the door suddenly feeling nervous all of the sudden. You expected Jeno to open the door but instead, Jaemin did. He was surprised to see you here.

“Oh y/n, what are you doing here?” He said. Voice shaking.

You pushed past him and made your way to Jeno’s room but before you could do so Jaemin grabbed your wrist.

“Y/n, please, I suggest for you not to go in there,” Jaemin begged. 

“Why not Jaemin?” You were now mad. What was he hiding from you?

“As your friend, I'm telling you to not go in there, for your own good,”

You scoffed and shot back. “If you were really my friend, you should be allowing me to do this,”

You were right. Jaemin couldn’t help but sigh and released his grip. You then made your way towards his door. Your arms are shaky as you twisted the knob. Slowly, you opened the door to only see something you wish you wouldn’t have to see in a million years.

There he was. With another girl. Cuddling. On his bed. They looked they were sleeping and even with the girl’s back facing you, you could tell that was Kim Yeri. Of fucking course. Then you turned to Jeno, his arms securing her as if she was fragile and her head buried against his chest. He was smiling. A genuine smile. A smile you’ve never seen before. 

You couldn’t help but let out a sob but quickly moved your hand to your mouth, preventing you from making any noises that could wake them up. You didn’t want to deal with this. You can’t believe your own eyes. The man you love is clearly in love with someone else and it broke your heart even more that he looked happier with her than he was with you.

Turning back, you quickly ran to the front door but Jaemin was quick to catch you. 

“Y/n, wait-,”

“No Jaemin, you don’t have a say in this, I don’t want to see any of your faces ever again,” You spat at him. Realizing his grip from your hand, you ran out the door and just ran, ran, and ran wherever your legs were bringing you to. At some point, you got tired and fell to your knees. You couldn’t control your sobs as they came out, tears running down your faces as you cried loudly. People around you giving you looks, some even with sympathy but you didn’t care. Your chest started to hurt and you were getting dizzy. It felt like someone punched your heart so hard that it completely broke into literal pieces. You kept hitting your chest, trying to get the pain away but it’s not helping. Why would he do this to you? Why couldn’t he break up with you instead of doing this behind your back? And the fact that he looked happy with her in his arms really set you off. He loved her more than he loved you. He was happier with her then he was with you.

Suddenly, you felt arms wrapped around you and instantly knew it was Renjun. You don’t know how in the hell he would find you here but that’s not important. All you need right now is your best friend.

“Why does it hurt so much, Renjun?,” You wailed. Face buried against his shoulder and he could feel your tears damping his shirt. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you y/n, I’m so fucking sorry he did this you,”

-

Jeno soon found out from Jaemin that you saw him cuddling with Yeri and he felt a wave of regret hitting him. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he should or cry he’s just, speechless. The rest was beyond pissed at him especially Renjun and he can’t forget how threatening Renjun’s glare was towards him every time they passed each other. He also hasn’t seen or heard from you since. He wanted to talk to you and talk things out but you seemed to block his number and his social media and even heard from others that you deactivated your accounts and it was all because of him.

For the first time ever since he has been cheating on you, he missed you. He misses everything about you but, he just couldn’t find the love he had for you anymore. Perhaps these were more of a platonic feeling. He knew he was the bad person here and knew that you weren’t wronged in this. This was just plainly his fault and he’ll gladly take the blame. Imagining how he must’ve hurt you badly really hurts him to the stomach that he couldn’t get rid off.

Jaemin was being a good friend to him and Jeno was glad. In times like this, he really needed his best friend. He wouldn’t even be surprised if Jaemin eventually stopped being friends with him but he’s thankful that Jaemin stayed. Even Jaemin didn’t know what to do. He tried apologizing to you and glad you accepted his apology. Even though you were pissed at him for not telling you about this, it wasn’t his fault that Jeno cheated on you.

You, on the other hand, was a complete mess. Renjun and the rest came to your dorm that day and tried to comfort you as best as they could. You were grateful that you had caring friends like them but it doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that your own boyfriend would cheat on you. Sometimes at night, you would cry thinking about him. Thinking about how happier he is with Yeri never fails to bring tears come rolling down your cheeks.

Eventually, you have to face your biggest fears and talk to Jeno. You guys never officially broke up and you just needed to. So you unblocked his number and texted him.

[You]: Meet me at the park tomorrow after lunch.

Not long after he replied.

[Jeno]: Sure

Jeno was surprised you texted him but then got nervous. He had to end things tomorrow and he just hopes that things get ugly.

-

Jeno arrived at the park earlier than you planned and sat at the bench where you and he always sat and ate your ice-cream’s as you guys enjoyed the sweet treat together. The memory brought a smile to Jeno’s face. You treated him well.

“Surprised you arrived early,” He heard a voice say and he shot up and saw you standing before him. He had to admit, even when you’re face is covered with dried out tears, you still looked beautiful.

Jeno could only give you a small smile as he stood in front of you. You looked like you were about to say something but he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I truly am,” Jeno started and you looked up at him. “This is not how I wanted things to end,” He continued.

Your eyes started to get watery and before he knows it, they were tears rolling down your soft cheeks.

“I know you are Jeno,” Your voice breaking but you bit lip to prevent yourself from crying. “I, it does hurt me to know that you were going to break up with me in the first place but, I saw how happy you are with her and I'm sorry I couldn’t give you that,” You broke completely as you said those words at the end. Jeno was now crying too. He hated seeing you break like this. Even more, because he was the cause of it.

“Y/n, you did give me happiness and I was happy to be with you for the past year but, I can’t help but love Yeri more,”

You nodded your head and quickly wiped your tears looking back at him. “You made me realize what love really is and I never got to thank you for that, so, thank you,” His voice broke too as he said those words.

“I hope you’re happy with her, I really do. She seems like a keeper,” It was hard for you to say those words but it was true. All this time, all you ever wanted was Jeno to be happy and he is happy now. Even if it’s not with you, you’re still happy that he’s happy though it’s breaking you inside.

Jeno then made a move and pulled you into a hug. Probably the last one. You couldn’t help but let out a cry as you wrapped your arms around him. You missed his touch and you’re sad that this was going to be the last time you’ll ever feel his warmth. He then placed a kiss on your head.

That was it. The end of a love story.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Untamed Liveblog

Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)  

- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha

- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!! 

- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol 

- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;

- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!

(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)

- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him

also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)  

- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.

- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.  

- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un

- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)

- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)

- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please  

- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood  

- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it

- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair

- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’

- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh

- oh wen ning.  very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...

- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.

- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu  

this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)

the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion  

- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)

- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again

- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)

- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE

why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol

- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;

- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.

- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS

- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end

- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches

- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering

- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me

also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang

- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know

they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha

- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:

- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense

- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh

- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved

- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face

- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!

- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes

- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink

- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine

- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen  

- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further

I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful

- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’

- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.  

- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’

- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live

- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.    

- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.

- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now

- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows  

(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)

- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy

(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)

- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’

- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma

- oh lan zhan

- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him

- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable

wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content

- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)

I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die  

wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol

- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.  

- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing

- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good

*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*

fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off

- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’

*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)

- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode

- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since

in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not  t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things

anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world

- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread    

- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help

this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did

- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy

- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend

- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going

- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor

- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them

- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet

*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP

oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol

wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu

- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf

- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue

- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced

-___________-

and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK

- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)

it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol  

- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun

- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she

- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(

- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end

- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him

- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)

- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian

also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’

- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)

- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful

- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own

also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage

- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)

oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here

LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe

this poor love struck man, someone help him  

lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf

- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell

- crying because wen niiiiiing

- crying because sibliiiiiings

okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears

- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)

- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear

again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)

- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised

I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake

- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is

- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho

sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)

- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that

- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it

NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this

- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha

it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh

- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)

- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this

- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’

I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(

- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine    

- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol

- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point

jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho

- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now

- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo

- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt

- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood

- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’

- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible

vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me  

- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold

- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs

- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit

- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built

- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)

no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands

- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”

(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)

nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay

- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh

look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??

- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again

enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much

I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes

- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby

- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”

he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think 

- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.

- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it    

“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha

- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)

this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories

- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing

- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something

stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)

- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)

I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing

- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn  

okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)

- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol

(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)  

- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame

all of us: omg a BABY ToT

- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am  d y i n g

this poor repressed man

fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably

I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens

- they r so in love someone hold me

- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry

- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here

- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything

- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there

- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte

- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful

- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly

I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(

- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends

- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)  

- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club

- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end

- lan jingjy you are VALID

- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’

must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered

- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;

I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!

- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse

- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch

- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda

- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does

- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’

lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe

- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY

‘but new problems appeared’  how is he such a mood

again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol

- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there

- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T  

- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace

whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing

- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to

- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends

- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)

- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly

- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD

- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us

(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)

- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me

dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF

the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice

- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears

this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother

nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something

- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this

- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock

- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful

- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye

- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh

- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress

- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’

- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems

- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie

- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married

- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’

- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go  

- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there

madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too  

- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator

me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe

- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc

one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.

- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah

- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh

- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’

- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world

- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ  

- little apple is the best of us tbh

- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd

- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us

- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day

- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again

- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for  

(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)

- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself

- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers

- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’

- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me

- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it  h u r t s 

- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through

- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder

- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole

- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words

I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart

sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal

- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch

nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option

- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious

also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf

teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A

- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol

- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’

(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)

- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)

- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e

- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard

- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me

- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years

the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk

- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)

it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol

- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)

- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y

- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)

- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational

- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this

- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you

- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)

- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him

- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.   

- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world 

me, openly crying: she sure was buddy

- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around

lwj: ...why

wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home

lwj, subtly relieved: oh

- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:

- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore

- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done

- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level 

I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great 

it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol

- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing

wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.

- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it

- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best

-  T__________________________________________________________T big brother 

- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls

- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc

- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao  

- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)

- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’  

- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead

- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this

- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him

wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here  

- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH

big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭

- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)

- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY

They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome

- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat

- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself 

contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy

- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye  

- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)   

- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf 

- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD

- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character 

- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous 

who’s chopping onions in here

- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad 

- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it.  d u d e this goddamn story 

(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y  back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)

- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;

- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol

- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on