#ofc this doesn't count the asks i did post publicly

[siffrin-enthusiast]

So, plural question. Apparently the host changing is a thing? What’s your experience with that, if you have any?

(Also I don’t mind if you answer publicly, since I’m not generally pretty open about this stuff.)

okay!! this is kinda long so it's going under a cut. tw for discussions of trauma (not specified, only the mention of trauma happening) ahead.

so before anything, i want to say my plurality is very purposefully covert. i don't have a ton of alters. i can count the ones that are even somewhat active on one hand. i post about being a system on here every once in a while, but irl, i don't breathe a word of my DID diagnosis outside of a therapist's office and with my partner of four years. this isn't everyone's experience ofc but hiding my diagnosis is so interwoven with how i experience this disorder that i feel i have to mention it.

my hosts are the alter sent out to put up with daily life and hold conversations. i believe i've had a host change twice in my life (even this far along in recovery, DID is still a subject of guesswork and gut feelings to me), both immediately after trauma completely uprooted my life (i'm not getting into details publicly this is the internet LMAO). the best way i can describe a host change in my experience is that my brain forcibly benched that host like "okay! you're too traumatized to handle daily life now! let's get another guy to do that!!" they're still present somewhere, but almost never front as they're saddled with trauma i can't deal with and unable to hold down daily responsibilities or socialize properly as a result.

the first time, i was too young to figure out what happened. the second time, only my therapist and partner noticed. my therapist figured it out by the suddenly conflicting gaps of memory, my partner figured it out by body language and facial expressions. nobody else knew. i think the most...obvious sign was how i felt some of my long-held interests shifting. careers and hobbies i had spent years studying seemed dull and uninspiring. besides that, not a lot changed.

i think the best way i understood my DID was recognizing that everything my unconscious brain did was the action of someone permanently stuck in a juvenile, traumatized mindset. no matter what happens to me, i still have to go to school, buy groceries, and keep up relationships. if the host cannot handle this, a traumatized child isn't going to say "let's go to therapy and work through this". they're going into survival mode. the easiest, quickest way to ensure i still go to school, buy groceries, and keep up relationships is to just not deal with the trauma. swap out the host that experienced it and shove them backwards into obscurity. is this solution sustainable at all? no. does it help me recover? absolutely not. but this traumatized child doesn't think about the future. it doesn't even envision one. all it thinks about is "how do i get through today?" and...that's the easiest path. just don't deal with it.

this was a lot of rambling LMAO but i hope something in here was helpful. you're more than welcome to ask questions or for clarification!!

[nochocolate]

DELTARUNE: To-Gif (Maybe)

each bullet point is a separate ask i received. thought a lot of the asks were cute so i pasted them word for word, in order of when they were sent, including multiple ones that asked for the same thing. maybe i’ll add more if people request more.

if it’s crossed out and bold, the gif has been made and now lives somewhere in this tag.

CONTAINS DELTARUNE SPOILERS.

Can you make a battle scene gif?? Any random battle will be okay 

Can I get a gif of Lancer menacingly approaching the team with the lightning and the bucket?

Can you please do a gif of Kris reading the Graves? That part messed with me. Thank you

Saw your generous gif offer so here I am > ^ < There was that dialogue with Temmie, at the end, where she says she gotta go to colleg and study hard, and then the narrator says she's reading a comic full of hot demon guys. Just this part, if you can and won't regret this xD it sums up... many of our laifus after all

You know in roulxs kaards shop where he's like lounging on his side and pointing and tapping to the beat? That'd make a sweet gif

What an impressive offer! Thank you so much! Lancer facing and stopping Susie impressed me so much - when he told her that at least all would be safe, when he would imprison them.

Can we have a GIF of the 'candy fruit join the groupe'? (I don't remember the exact term so if you have no idea what i'm talking about just ignore this xD)

If you didn't fight Jevil ter, so that's a good Gif... Of when he's defeated

ahh could you perhaps make a gif with Rouxls Kaard, at his shop, without the dialogue window (cropped out), just... him chilling, snapping his finger to that chill beat of "hip_shop.ogg" ?

Oh you know that cute thing Ralsei does when they use spare? I’d love to see that as a gif! It’s so cute gosh

ASGORE HUG GIF PLEASE

Could you please gif ralsei’s face reveal at the end if you haven’t yet?

i think tumblr did not like it when i sent this ask earlier so sorry if i've already asked this but: w....when kris starts a battle n they point n the hearts come out

Can you make a gif of the distant trousle of bones?

Asgore hug GIF, you know we all love him <3, GIF of Kris and Susie falling down, and GIF of both starting and ending battles

Maybe a gif from where Asgore gives us a big hug? I had to stop for a couple of minutes to get a hold of myself. He looks so happy!

A gif about meeting jevil, please?

could you do a gifset of the first time you get suzie to flirt and she doesn't know what to say

I would love the gif of Asgore hugging Kris please.

When you act in battle, your characters do some cute things. Make gifs with them, especially with Ralsei!

Duke of puzzles refusing to show you his "actual puzzle?"

Can I get uhhhhhhh gif of The King? Maybe him coming out of the shadows and laughing, or him betraying notasriel's trust. Thank you for the gifs so far by the way, they're squeaky clean!

a gif of Kris hugging Ralsei? And/or a comparison gif of Frisk and Asgore with the 6 souls, and Kris and Asgore with the seven flowers?

Gif of dog stat in stats menu?

Can I ask for a gif of when susie rejoins the party and subsequently stays a sufficient distance away as to not be associated! Thanks ^^

Susie talking about how she went as a box for Halloween once is probably my favourite scene that I'd request be giffed

Can we have the gif of the one you got if it's not "Prison only for dads"? Also, how did you get it?

Could we get a gif of Toriel driving Kris down to school? That part just gave me huge feels when I first played it through

I'd like a gif of that heart stopping ending. (If.. that ending turns out to be in every playthrough? My friend was attempting a genocide run and I haven't confirmed if run types even exist)

Please, PLEASE do a gif of Susie "joining" the party.

Hello! I was wondering if it was possible for you to gif the moment where Ralsei askes Rouxis to see his puzzle and says "no" and floats off?

Requesting GIF of Ralsie saying it's ok if Kris want's to hit him.

I made a low quality GIF. Could you make a better one? (eruto note: it’s that one boss with the muscle legs)

would you be able to gif Seam maybe?

Could you please gif the part where Kris hugs Ralsei during the training session with him? And also the part where Kris gives him the scarf? Those were cute <3. Thank you!

Do you think you can gif Kris and Ralsei bowing? That was one of my favorite parts of the game *u*

I would like to see a gif showing all three dialogs/items that can be found by interact with asriels cabinet (they are different depending which savefile you are playing on)

can you do a gif of the bird dude going "it's almost as if you should have... as they say... "listened"

Could you do a gif where Susie basically yeets Ralsei during battle?

Could you do a gif of Ralsei saying Oh that’s not good actually because that would make a perfect reaction gif? Thanks if you do!