#ofc i also like that he's moved past some of this stuff and generally seems well adjusted but waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh ga-ming... ueue

[welcometoteyvat]

DUDE HIS MOM????? ;-;

emotionally ruined

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Yk Back At The Random Ghost Rebel Stuff

A straight up ramble but does anyone feels this retching feeling in their hearts whenever they think about the High Cloud Quintet and its lore and go like "Dang, if only we COULD change what had happened bc this crap is dark and sad as hell" because that's what I feel like right now

And lemme tell you: It's not a good feeling bc I don't even want to think about how they're all just old and tired grannies and grandpas. The only person that has proper solace in the High Cloud Quintet is flipping Baiheng bro—poor Yingxing got turned into Blade bc yk—he's the beloved of that one relic set story.

Dan Flipping Feng becomes Dan Heng and even as Dan Heng he doesn't get a single drop of solace bc now the former-artisan-now-maniac dude is chasing him all across the universe bc of the sins of the past and it's just so heartbreaking bc Dan Heng isn't Dan Feng and Blade is only the shadow of Yingxing (this concept with Yingxing and Blade heavily reminds me of Makoto and Ei—Ei was the shadow of Makato and the shadow of the light is all that remains ykyk)

And then there's Jingliu who just straight up asks her student to kill her if she ever becomes mara-struck and in the end she still lives somehow and then she decides to go full-traumatizer with Blade back when he was the Unnamed that wandered the place—as if he needed MORE trauma and honestly her weak grasp over the mara which in turn makes her insane is so upsetting bc in the end she ends up having beef with a 14 year-old lieutenant who's trying to do his job and protect the Luofu (though, I have to admit it: as much as I want to protect my child Yanqing, his methods were kind of flawed—) even if he doesn't know who Jingliu is.

And ofc we got the last man standing Jing Yuan who just sees ghosts in everyone around him. Istg I feel like bc he sees ghosts, he can't move on from the past, and when he can't move on from the past, it's honestly a red flag bc it might mean that his present relationships with everyone are (sometimes) only just one-sided or something. Like, take the relationship between Yanqing and he: Yanqing trusts the General with his life bc he raised him as a baby. But the fact that he calls Jing Yuan "General" and not some sort of parental title says that Jing Yuan is being unnecessarily secretive due to his fear of vulnerability. I mean—literally in 1.2 Story Quest, Jing Yuan quite literally just left Yanqing on the island alone after he got beat up by two men that have beef with one another, practically leaving him in the dark with no explanation. And even before that, Yanqing was still left in the dark. Jing Yuan doesn't open up easily bc of the crap he's been through, which is understandable, but his lack of explanation backing up his highly meticulous moves—that's not really healthy. In the end, it just leaves a gap of mistrust, be it intentional or not, between Jing Yuan and Yanqing. In some cases, and this one (imo atleast) is one of them, if you don't explain your actions, it pretty much just leaves the person that's been left in the dark with their waves of emotions, which might cost said-relationship between the two people in the long run.

It also seems like (based off what we know of, at least) at least half of Jing Yuan's choices are also connected to sentimental reasons and seeing ghosts in people. I think he sees a ghost in Yanqing (idk who tho—ppl say it's Yingxing bc of his obsession over the sword), he sees one in Yukong (definitely Baiheng), he sees one in Dan Heng (obvious reasons, very evident throughout the game) and possible Bailu (because she's technically being hailed as the next Imbibitor Lunae after Dan Feng's sin), and it could possibly go on. This old grandpa really is comparing the present with his past and that's honestly a little heartbreaking, bc there is a chance that that might mean that Jing Yuan found more happiness (serotonin work hardcore fr) in his past than he does in his present. He should at least be happy enough of the present to not be this sentimental of the past, but he's really suffering of the incidents like bro—

The High Cloud Quintet is like The Five Yakshas from Genshin Impact but with more lore (that we know of) and more angst twists (that we know of) to it fr. It's so heartbreaking and angsty, I both love it, hate it, and cry about it.

Like bro, look at these two groups. It's always a group of five sobbing.

They're all fine as hell too like CMON

[deadendtracks]

How do you think Lizzie's marriage to Tommy came about?

Like personally I believe there were many factors and not one like Ruby ofc, she was good- person wise, sexually compatible, someone had written he was afraid to be alone(which I feel might be true since Charles also saw him during his breakdown in s4 and stuff). Though I don't feel it was for political purposes.

But I would love to know what you feel...also I've been following what you write for some time, and I like reading what you put up.

Thank you, that's very kind.

It seems like the generally accepted take is that he married her purely to be more politically acceptable for running for office. I wouldn't rule out that being some part of the decision; but given what Moseley says in s6 about magazine covers or whatever, my guess is it wasn't a particularly politically expedient move given Lizzie's past, which wouldn't have been hard for anyone to dig up. If Tommy had wanted to marry someone solely to be more politically acceptable, he'd have married May. It would have been the smarter move. Having a bastard daughter on the side whom he supported would have been downright upper class of him.

On the other hand, maybe he shrewdly thought marrying Lizzie would go well with his working-class constituency, over May. Even given that idea I'm not sure, still, about her past being a net positive in an election, given the way Polly and Arthur laughed about it in s1.

There's the other point that it's pretty clear his first election at least was probably fixed in his favor. If it was, why would he feel the need to marry Lizzie for political purposes?

We also don't know when Tommy and Lizzie married and if they were even married at the end of s4 when he won his election, so it's hard to point to that scene at the end of 4.06 as proof, though I've never looked at it closely enough to see if they're both wearing wedding rings, etc.

So if politics wasn't the biggest drive, what then?

One interesting aspect of s4 is that he doesn't suggest they marry when he finds out Lizzie is pregnant -- he doesn't "do right by her" in that way, though he promises to buy her a house and implies he'll take care of her and the child. I don't necessarily think he makes this choice because of Lizzie's reputation/past, but maybe that could be part of it. If it was, why then marry her when he gets into politics? It's a bit contradictory.

Instead I think it's possible he was aware at least on some level that he couldn't give her what she wanted from him -- couldn't be in love with her. And this was probably his way of trying to be fair to her the way he tried to be fair to May in s2. He tries to maintain this distance, where he's not making promises he can't keep.

But then he does end up marrying her. I think to me this makes the most sense if he and Lizzie *aren't* married at the end of s4, when he's elected. If he starts spending time with her to be able to see Ruby. I do think Ruby would be a big part of it -- Tommy loves his children very deeply, despite his difficulties as a parent. So one possibility is that he starts spending time with Lizzie to see the baby, and things go from there.

Which does lead into one of the points you brought up: it's definitely possible he was afraid to be alone -- this is a more likely motivation than wanting someone to be a mother to Charlie, because he had plenty of maids for that, and Lizzie was not playing that role in s3-4. When she says she got Charlie Christmas presents in s4, I think that was meant to be read as the actions of an executive secretary-type role -- powerful men usually have someone who takes care of things like that for them.

But Lizzie had already seen him emotionally vulnerable at that point -- 'it was you who kept my heart from breaking' -- even if it wasn't in the form of him being open about it with her, which I doubt. And I do think he trusts Lizzie quite a lot.

He is a very lonely character, and a character who finds it hard to trust, and a character who does need people even if he comes across as if he doesn't. Combine that with the fact that he does deeply love his children and you can see how he might have eventually decided he wanted to marry Lizzie even if he felt he could never love her the way he did Grace. Especially if you consider that the end of s4 was probably less than 2 years after Grace had died -- that's not much time to get over a traumatic loss like that. But maybe being around his child with Lizzie made him realize he might be able to make a marriage work.

Canon doesn't give us anything definitive and I think you could write a range of believable explanations of how they ended up married. I'd never wholly rule out politics as being part of it; but at the same time, I'm not all that convinced.

[anime-grimmy-art]

What do you do when there’s not much to an AU? You make up your own stuff, ofc. And as is per usual when I make Character Designs, I make up a shit ton of lore too.

The ramblings under the cut, but what I’m really interested in, is what you guys think. Do you guys have any headcanons/ideas for this AU? Let me hear them! Also, if you don’t wanna read on tumblr, here’s the Google Docs link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/151yshHxnb_--P6eMKkwkI2dee9xC_Llb/view?usp=sharing

Before I get into the characters’ roles, here’s some general facts and backstory of their town:

- Basically, it’s Undertale meets Harvest Moon / Stardew Valley. Well, kinda. I at least used that approach for coming up for the jobs for the characters. You know, how there’s always a general store, a doctor, a smithy, etc.

- The usual story of a HM game is that you come to a town that’s way past its glory days and you, as the player/farmer, help them get back to that. The “backstory” of the town is that that already kinda happened. I’ll get into it more in the character description, but basically when Asgore was still mayor, the town got really popular. Then yadda yadda, a certain tragedy happened, two kids died, and the town suddenly got very bad publicity. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, bad reputation being spread and also a lot of law stuff, cos, you know, supposed child murder ‘n all, so Asgore made the decision to shut off the town to ppl from outside. This was in the interest of most monsters living there, because as fun as it is to have a lot of people coming there, most just wanted to live a quiet life. Not everyone was happy with that though, so many moved away from town and some others are trying to get the town back on its feet. But more on that later.

On to the characters:

I’m just gonna start with the skelebros, cos it’s their fault in the first place I got so invested.

Basically, they are what the player is in hm/sdv. They just showed up one day, took over the abandoned farmhouse and began their life there. The two came to town way after it was “closed” and since then a new mayor has opened the possibility for new residents to move in. Their farm helps the economy of the town a lot and the mayor, like usually in hm games, is trying to use that to make the town more known again. The skelebros aren’t really working towards that goal however.

So, now a bit more detail on them individually.

Papyrus:

- The design is mostly based on what’s “canon” in this au.

- He works mostly on the fields and is in charge of the crops. Their fields aren’t spectacularly big, but still big enough to plant a few dozen rows of veggies. 

- Paps also helps out a lot in town when he has the time. He helps Asgore with his plants, he goes fishing with Undyne, helps Toriel carry crates around and so on. This is inspired by the part-time job mechanic in HM ToT.

- Unbelievably, in this AU Pap is not an absolutely awful cook. Since he helps out at Muffet’s and Grillby’s a lot, they tend to show him some tricks to cooking. Even though Pap’s not a big fan of the greasy or overly sweet cooking those two do, he picks up a lot.

Sans:

- Again, design mostly based on the “canon” look. Maybe a bit more baggy.

- This is finally an AU this dude gets to rest. Since there are no resets and he doesn’t have to see his bro die again and again, for once in his life, he’s not a sad ball of depression. He’s just a chill and lazy dude that loves to make puns. Though, since he’s not too experienced with the feelings of loss, helplessness or grieving, he still tends to hide behind puns and fakes smiles if he does feel bad.

- Sans is in charge of the animals on the farm. Papyrus begrudgingly gave him that role since Pap’s loud demeanour and hectic movements usually scare the animals. Sans’ relaxed attitude draws the animals to him naturally and even if Pap mostly finds him sleep against a tree, in a stack of hay or on one of the sheep, the animals are always fed, healthy and relaxed, so Sans seems to be doing his job.

- Sans always has a small chic sit inside his hoodie or hat. Is it always the same one? Who knows, maybe.

- Sans also, somehow, can produce eggs out of thin air. Grab into his hoodie pocket, in his pants pocket, in his hat, in his slipper, there’s suddenly always an egg there. On good days he can even make butter or cheese appear. 

Gaster:

- He’s literally just a scarecrow in this. Though, if you ask any of the bros why they designed their scarecrow that way, they won’t have an answer.

Frisk&Toriel:

- Frisk is mostly based on what I wore myself as a kid in summer. Just a loose shirt with a cappy. Toriel basically has her ut gown, just with an apron on top.

- Frisk just appeared outside the “magical” forest one day. Napstablook and his cousin found them and brought them to Toriel, who has been taking care of them since.

- Toriel runs the general store in town, but also often takes care of the few kids that still live there.

- Frisk usually helps out in Toriels store, plays with the other kids or sits around at Asgore’s. They’re notorious for nabbing small snacks, mostly from Asgore’s plants. You’ll always find them munching on something. 

- Frisk was in town before the skelebros. Since they’d moved in, Frisk often went to spy on their farm. After a small incident with angry chicken, Frisk got to know the two better and now they see them as something between brothers and uncles.

- But Frisk honestly gets along with everyone. Just like in UT, they’ve not only been adopted by Toriel but literally everyone.

- Toriel and Asgore’s relationship is not as bad as in the main game, since, you know, Asgore didn’t kill literal children, but there’s still tension between them. Back when Asriel and Chara died and the whole thing with the bad rep for the town began, Toriel felt betrayed by Asgore focusing more on the town than giving their deceased kids the grieving they deserved. They’re not divorced, but Toriel still moved out and said needed space to think. Now that Frisk is in the picture though, the both of them are slowly coming to even ground and may even be able to talk things out and clear up the uncertainty of their decisions.

Asgore:

-Asgore has his UT Ending / Deltarune clothes, just with a gardener’s belt.

- He’s the previous mayor of the town, but after all the crap that happened, he stepped down from the position. Now he has his own little shop and sells seeds, saplings, homegrown veggies and fertilizer. So, basically what e.g. the Marimba Farm is in HM AP

- His main customer is Papyrus and they’re on friendly terms. Asgore is worried about how much and how hard Pap works, so he often gives him a discount. 

- Since his family’s past tragedy, Asgore is kind of nervous around kids. So, when he first met Frisk, he hoped they’d not visit him too often. But to his chagrin, Frisk took an instant liking to him and spends a lot of time at his shop (and steals eats the fresh grown veggies). Now, he’s really grateful for that, because for one, he loves Frisk as dearly as he had his own children, and also because now the tension and mistrust between him and Toriel seem to grow smaller day by day.

Undyne&Alphys:

- I gave Undyne a pretty basic fisher’s outfit. Alphys basically has Elli from HM’s outfit, just a bit more doctory stuff added. She still has her canon lab coat too.

- In essence, Undyne and Alphys have 2 completely different jobs. Alphys is the resident doctor and Undyne runs the fish market.

Two things. Yes, I know Alphys is more a mechanic than a doctor, she fits the aesthetic though, so she’s the doc now. And no, Undyne being a fisherwoman is not cannibalism, think of it more as a shark hunting smaller fish.

- The reason I lump them together is because they act as the local “smithy”. Alphys is still really tech savvy in this (I mean, Mettaton is still part of this AU), so she takes on most problems with electronics and stuff. For Undyne, I didn’t want to lose her Royal Guard’s Captain image, so she’s really good at handling tools (and weapons, but Al doesn’t let her make them anymore). So basically, if there’s a broken tool, you can be sure that either Undyne or Alphys can fix it.

- As for relationships, those two are still an item. Alphys is still really shy and a shut-off, but since Undyne and Pap become best friends, she gets to know the skelebros better. She and Sans especially get along well, since most of the time Undyne and Papyrus are let loose, they sit back and talk about science-y stuff. (no, Sans doesn’t have a background in science but he’s still into sci-fi)

- Alphys has a bit of a strained relationship with both Asgore and Mettaton.

Back when Chara and Asriel died, it was because of “illness” (maybe poisoning?). Alphys feels awful because with her back then limited knowledge on medicine she couldn’t help the two. Asgore doesn’t hold anything against her but Alphys can’t help but feel guilty.

Alphys still built Mettaton’s body in this one. The two had a really big disagreement, because Mettaton hated the fact the town was going to close, and he couldn’t understand how Alphys could feel otherwise, even more so endorse the idea.

Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy/Mew Mew:

- Napsta and Dummy are pretty self-explanatory, they got straw hats. Mettaton’s outfit is a bit of a joke cos it’s a play on “work at the top and party at the bottom”. The tie has two different sides, one with the yellow red pattern, the other completely red. His “top part” is the business part, because when he’s on tv or in the mayors’ office, you don’t usually see his feet. The bottom is his party/dance part, cos his dancing/entertainment channels mostly feature his legs. 

- Mettaton, still a robot, Napstablook and Mad Dummy are all still cousins in this AU.

- Originally, they all lived and worked at the Blook Farm, the Animal Farm of this AU. Mettaton, however, despised that simple live and after befriending Alphys and her building him a body, he left the Farm to pursue bigger things. 

- Mettaton runs the local tv network. From weather to game shows, he does it all. He also runs the tailor shop in town that sells his designer clothes and merchandise. After Asgore stepped down, Mettaton also took over the role of town’s mayor and now works towards making the place more known again. Not everybody is happy with him doing that though.

- One of those people is the Mad Dummy. He can’t stand people anyways and he always claims that history would just repeat itself.

- Since the whole family is made of ghosts, they have different dummies and scarecrows they can use to take care of the animals. To mock Mettaton and kinda get back at Alphys for giving MTT such an opportunity, Mad Dummy found the blueprints for the Mew Mew robot and now modelled one of their scarecrows after it. 

- Napstablook isn’t fond of taking over obejcts like his cousins do, so he mostly takes care of the snails. Somehow, he can interact with them even when incorporeal. 

Muffet&Grillby:

- The two of them run the Inn together. Muffet cooks in the daytime and makes desserts, Grillby manages the bar in the evening. 

- The two still can’t really stand each other but working together like this benefits them both because their rivalry just spurs them on more.

- Even though Grillby is a patient person, somehow Muffet is the only person who riles him up enough to retaliate. (Well, maybe except for Sans, he’s a strong second).

So, basically everything between those two is a challenge in some way. Even if Papyrus doesn’t notice, even his cooking lessons are a challenge for them. 

- Even though they’re constantly bickering, after working together for so many years, there’s a strange level of respect and trust between them. Even if back when they first started this business, they’d pour salt into an already open wound, nowadays they’d know better and just take a step back from the other or even comfort the other (on very rare occasions only). 

Asriel&Chara:

- They be dead. Kinda.

Some Characters that’d live in that town too but that I haven’t made designs for:

- Gerson is the original smithy of the town. He’d grown up in a family of smiths, but he’d always had an appreciation for the sea. That’s why, when the town became more deserted and Undyne had a good enough skill level as smith, he took up the Captains hat and now mostly spends his days out on sea. He also ferries people to places if they need him to. Oh, and just like in canon, Undyne learned most of her skills from him.

- Burgerpants is a poor dude Mettaton basically kidnapped when he was trying to get fame in the city. Now Burgerpants works wherever MTT needs him to, be that as cameraman for the tv shows, cashier in his tailor shop or his slave secretary in the mayor’s office.

- MK is Frisk’s best kid friend. MK’s parents are in charge of shipping the goods out of town and paying the individual people. MK’s the one that usually collects the goods at the end of the day.

- Other than that, there are only a few people in town. I’d imagine the older folks or the really young families stayed in town after it was closed. I think the librarby dude would still run the library. Some Snowdin residents like the stone family or the dogs also might still live there. 

[readerstories]

Body Heat - Aaron Hotchner x male!reader

Summary: Been re-watching Criminal Minds lately, and ofc reading fanfics, and I see that there are very few male readers out there so here’s at least one. Some classic bed sharing because something breaks during a snowstorm and it’s freezing, so time to share body heat ;) (AO3)

Warnings: nsfw, smut

Wordcount: 3891

A case in a small and remote part of North Dakota during the middle of the coldest winter in memory was not ideal to say the least. 

You liked snow and the cold, but even you had your fill by now. Everything is frozen, the ground, the bodies of the victims, even the snow was crunchy and no good to make snowballs with. (All of you had at one point or another almost face planted before getting wise and buying shoe spikes.)

At least the case was over and you had caught the killer alive this time, so that was good.

What was not good, was the snow storm currently raging outside the cabin door, causing the whole team to be stuck waiting for it to clear so you could take off. Because of course, this being a small town, there was no hotel, only small cabins to rent. But at least there were beds to sleep in, a small desk with a chair, a small bathroom (and a fireplace that you had yet to use), which was really all you needed.

The team had split up, since there only were two queen sized beds in each cabin. You had ended up with Hotch, which you really didn’t mind. He was always a quiet roommate, very polite and proper. Didn’t talk much, mostly went right to sleep when he got in, or stared at case files all night.

He was doing the latter right now, while you try to read a few more pages of your book before planning to go to bed for the night. You are trying your hardest to keep your eyes open, determined to at least reach the end of the chapter before sleep takes you. The only lights in the room were the one above your head, and the one on the desk Hotch was using which made it actually kind of cozy, which made your goal even harder.

That coziness disappears in seconds however, when the lights flicker, and then turn off.

Silence, then the both of you try to turn the lights back on a few times. Hotch’s cell pings with a new text, which he quickly reads, the cold light of the screen now being the only light source. 

“Seems the power is out, Morgan is going to the reception house to ask the owner about it since he’s in the cabin closest by.”

“Okay, good, at least it’s not only us.” A few beats of silence, and then another text. Hotch frowns as he reads it.

“Seems like the whole town is dark, the storm has taken out the power, but this place has generators.”

“Great!”

“But it only covers the essential stuff so no pipes will freeze, so we need to keep everything else off.” You nod, forgetting he can’t really see you in the dark.

“So only heat on in the bathroom I’m assuming.”

“Yeah.” You both eye the fireplace, and you sigh. 

“The owner told Morgan they are fully usable.”

“Well, let's see if I remember how to light one, it’s been a while.” You get out of bed, walking over to the fireplace to start trying while Hotch texts with someone, presumably Morgan again.

Stacking wood and finding some old newspaper curled up in the firewood basket, it only takes two tries and a few minutes to get a budding fire going. Proud of yourself as you watch the flames slowly catch while crouching in front of it, you feel Hotch’s eyes on you.

“Did Morgan say anything else?”

“He suggested we move to fewer cabins. I told everyone to stay in their respective cabins, we don’t need anyone risking going out in this weather when we all have good heat sources.” You nod, getting up and stretching.

“Well, I’m going to brush my teeth then try to sleep, and you should too.” Hotch opens his mouth to say something, but you interrupt him.

“You can look at those casefiles tomorrow, a fire is not the best light source when reading and making notes.” Hotch sighs, knowing that irritatingly you got a point. You smile a quick smile before going to the bathroom. While you’re in there the lights you had turned on before come back to light, but Hotch is quick to turn them off, two small clicks following right after one another. You check the oven in the bathroom, turning it down to half, knowing that should keep the temperature above freezing at least.

Neither you or Hotch speak another word to each other before going to bed, curled up almost fully clothed in your respective bed in the already colder room, even with the fire now going quite well in the fireplace.

You close your eyes, sure that sleep will come easy, as it was not that long ago you had almost fallen asleep while reading, nodding off between each sentence on the page.

But sleep doesn’t come.

Instead, you lay there, head empty of any thoughts, calm, but still you just can’t sleep.

You hear the wind blowing outside, each gust of wind making the cabin creak and groan quietly, barely there, but noticeable in the quiet of the night. The fireplace crackles, giving back at least some of that cozy feeling from earlier.

You can also hear Hotch toss and turn, which is unusual for him. The few times you had seen the man sleep or just been in the same room as him while he did so, he had been still, almost never moving other than his chest going up and down with each breath.

It takes an audible shudder coming from the other bed for you to realize why.

Hotch is cold, very much so. You can’t help the little smile that grazes your lips, almost a quiet laugh in its own right. So the cold is what does the big bad unit chief in huh?

You don’t feel good about it for long however as it’s clear that some solution to the problem is needed, as Hotch sounds no nearer to sleep than you are, and you are certain that like this neither of you will get any rest soon. So you cast a glance over at the fireplace before quickly getting out of your bed. Hotch quietly speaks your name, a question more than anything else. You drag your mattress, your pillow and duvet in front of the fireplace and put it down, turning to face Hotch, who has propped himself up on an elbow, confusion in his knitted brows.

“Come here.”

“What.” The tone is deadpan, not really a question in the word.

“I can hear your teeth clatter, I know you’re cold, so take your duvet and get in front of the fire.” Hotch slowly does as he’s told, surprisingly without asking anything. Or maybe he just sees your point. He drops his duvet next to yours, farthest from the fire, but you tut, moving it closest instead.

“You’re the coldest one, so you can sleep closest to the fire.” Hotch quirks a brow, but sits down on the floor as close to the fireplace as he can.

“Are you sure there is no ulterior motive? Maybe you just want it to be me to catch fire if things go wrong.” You grin, loving when Hotch lets his humor shine through his normally stoic facade.

“Maybe.” You get down on the floor too, laying down at the same time as Hotch. Before he can really react, you pull him close to your chest. It’s the surprise of it all that lets you drag him so he’s tucked under your chin, his hands on your chest.

“What are you doing?” You feel his whole body stiffen, even his words come out like that.

“Body heat.” You hum. Hotch stays stiff for a little while, but then there’s a big sigh as he relaxes a little. Slowly, one of his arms goes over your sides, still slightly unsure about this situation. You smile, resting huffing out a small laugh.

It’s already a lot warmer this close to the fire and though sleeping on the mattress on the floor like this isn’t the best, it’s better than being cold at least. And you’re not complaining about having an excuse to hold Hotch close like this, feeling him shift as he tries to get comfortable.

You feel your eyelids grow heavy, sleep creeping up on you as you get warmer. The last thing you hear before slipping into dreamland is the crackling of the fire, and a faint snore coming from Hotch.

----

Sadly, you wake up just a few hours later needing to pee. You somehow manage to get up without waking Hotch, so you are as quiet as you can be while doing your business. He’s still asleep when you get back, face relaxed.

You stop briefly to watch him sleep, as weird as you know it is. It’s just that you rarely see Hotch without a frown or a face made of stone, so you drink in the sight as long as you dare. Which is only a few seconds, but you stop yourself when you yawn.

With quiet steps you walk over to the mattress, slipping under the duvet and back to the shared warmth. This time it’s you that are dragged into Hotch’s arms as he mumbles something in his sleep. You try not to make any sound of surprise, as not to wake him still. You don’t mind this turn of events at all, as Hotch mumbles some words into your hair before they yet again turn to occasional soft snores. Letting out another yawn, you slip an arm over Hotch’s waist and let sleep take you.

----

It’s still dark out when you wake next, although this time of year it doesn’t say much.

This time it was Hotch moving that woke you, as your arms have made their way around his chest like he has done with his, holding him close and feeling his every move. You can tell by his breathing and movements that he’s awake, so you slowly talk, more or less asking the only question you have right into his chest.

“What time is it?” Another movement, most likely checking his phone.

“6:30 AM.” You groan, his deep and sleep laden voice doing things to your heart and brain you don’t have the awake awareness to think about right now.

“Back to sleep it is.” Hotch chuckles.

“This is past the time I would normally get up.”

“Is the storm still going on outside?” You both listen, and yes, over the low crackling of the now almost dead fire you can still hear the wind taking a hold of everything around it.

“Sounds like it.”

“Great, more sleep for us Aaron.” You can’t see the raised eyebrow, but you can almost hear it in his voice.

“Aaron?” You nod, trying to get in the perfect position to go back to sleep.

“Yeah, it feels weird using your last name when I’m cuddling with you.”

“Sharing body heat.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Aaron chuckles, and weirdly enough he ruffles your hair a bit. Your heart aches at the familiarity of the motion, but again, not awake enough for any of that.

It is then that it happens. In your effort to get comfortable, you shift your leg a little to high, and suddenly your thigh rubs against a clothed, but very obivous, erection. Aaron draws in a small sharp breath as you turn to stone for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, I, uh-” Suddenly more awake, but still not quite there yet, you say nothing at first. You could have made some lame joke about it you suppose, but instead you are just as awkward as him.

“It, it’s uh, fine, um..” Silence for a few beats, then you come to a mutual and unspoken agreement to just ignore it.

However, you find that no matter how hard you try, you can’t.

You’re not pressed up against his crotch or anything anymore, you moved your leg way too fast out of the way for that to still be the case.

But you are still in Aaron’s arms, which makes it hard not to think about it. He’s warm, a little soft, strong, and you can smell his cologne this close. His breath is steady, but too steady, like he’s trying to will himself to sleep. Your head almost spins by the feeling of it all, and your thoughts are no help either, replaying the moment over and over again in your head.

The noise he had made had made you stiffen, perhaps from other reasons than you would like to admit.

You don’t know how long you both lay there, trying to or pretending to be asleep, but you know it feel like forever and torture of the slowest kind.

An idea slips into your mind before you can really stop it, making everything else go quiet.

What if you did it again?

You had for a long time admired Aaron, perhaps in more ways than you were willing to admit to yourself or anyone else. And in some fleeting and weak moments you had thought he might be too. A lingering glance or two during a case when he thought you wouldn’t notice, him letting small smiles slip onto his face more often when you were around, him bringing you coffee from time to time.

Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself as you move your leg again.

Another sharp breath from Aaron.

“What are you doing?” He asks as you still with your thigh pressed up against his still there erection.

“Trying something.” A beat where neither of you move.

“Stop me if you want.” Aaron says nothing and does nothing, so slowly, oh ever so slowly, you use your leg to rub against him. His breath deepens, and one of his hands moves to your hip, but doesn’t push you away, simply letting it rest there. Your own hands roam across his back, shifting, fluttering, trying to find purpose. In the end you grasp the back of his t-shirt as you slowly start to try to move him too.

Aaron groans, something that makes your own dick start to stir, and then he’s moving, and oh.

He seems in no rush, just rocking his hips ever so slightly forward, pressing himself against your thigh.

His breath is speeding up, and so is yours, almost panting in the quiet of the room.

As good as you are sure it feels, you want more, you almost need more. Removing one hand from his back, you replace your thigh with your hand, rubbing and fully feeling Aaron’s dick strain against the front of his pants. A hitch in his breath, an audible swallow, him continuing to move, now into your hand, spurs you on.

As far as you can tell through the fabric, Aaron is rather large, and certainly excited. You let your hand wander, squeeze, and rub as you please, every so often pausing to grab at his thigh instead, teasingly letting your fingers drag and dance along it.

A thought, and then your other hand is in front of you, gently touching his chest. You back away a few inches, careful to keep your touch still on him. Casting a glance upwards as you start to push his t-shirt up from his stomach, you’re met with intense eyes watching your every move. You swallow, Aaron’s eyes shift to follow the motion, then to your lips as you lick them.

He lets you push his t-shirt up under his armpits, and only then does he do any of the work himself, lifting himself up slightly so he can take it off and drop it on the floor behind you. You don’t let your eyes or hand linger on his scars, instead focusing on his chest.

He’s less hairy than you imagined, but you don’t care at all.

And you had imagined it.

But nothing could compare to the real deal. Feeling him turn to putty in your hands as you rub him through his pants, hear him groan as you let your hand brush against a nipple.

“God, fuck, you-” Aaron stops himself, letting out another groan as you you lean forward and plant a kiss on his chest.

“Ah, fuck, come here.” Before you can ask what he means, there’s a hand in your hair yanking you up, and then you’re kissing him.

You’re kissing Aaron Hotchner.

Fuck.

Fuck yes.

In less than a second you’re kissing back, mouths uncoordinated and messy as they meet. Your hand which had stopped rubbing him, starts up again while you kiss, and he moans into your mouth, which, fuck, that’s hot.

Both of his hands tangled in your hair pull you even closer as you both almost forget you need to breathe, only breaking apart to gulp down some air before diving right back in, lips moving firmly against each other.

Aaron is the first to add tongue, which makes you let out a little gasp, giving him full access.

He takes the opportunity, and not to be outdone, you move your hand from his bulge to the button on his pants. A noise of disappointment turns into a small moan as he realizes what you are doing. With all the noises he is making against your lips, it’s hard to concentrate, so you break the kiss so you can concentrate on zipping him down, and getting into his pants. Aaron moves forward so he can kiss along your throat, letting his teeth nip along the little skin that is showing from under your shirt.

“Fuck!” You groan, feeling the small smile Aaron can’t hide as he kisses your skin.

“Could get used to hearing that more often.”

“Yeah, good, fuck.” You curse whoever invented zippers as you fumble with it as if you were a fucking teenager.

Finally, a few seconds later, you are able to shove your hand into Aaron’s underwear and the smug smile you could feel against your skin turns into a moan.

“Fuck.” It’s low, but you hear it, glancing at him with a grin.

“I would like to hear that too.” You say as you start to pump his length, using his pre-cum as lubrication. Another nip to your skin makes you moan.

“At least your shirts have higher collars.” Aaron teases as he moves his hands from your hair to the hem of your t-shirt, dragging it up. You let go of him only so you can take it off fully, then your hands are right back on him. One on his dick, the other tugging slightly at a nipple.

Aaron drags you in for a kiss, and you moan into his mouth as he lets his hands wander all over you. Up your sides, over your chest, down your stomach. Your breath hitches as you think you know where he is going, but instead his hands settles on your ass, pulling you even closer, so close you can barely move your arm, but fuck, he raises his leg a little and now your hard dick is rubbing against his thigh. He rocks forward, seeking friction for you both, and you can’t help but moan into his mouth.

His cock is heavy in your hand, heat radiating from all off him were you are pressed close, still under the duvets. Your movements aren’t rushed, neither of you in a hurry to finish, but fuck, it feels good. Every rock of Aaron’s hips moves his dick in your hand, and presses him against yours, building up on the desire you feel taking over you.

One of his hands move from your ass to your hair, pulling at it as he stops kissing you briefly to moan into your throat.

“I’m close, fuck.” Your eyes flicker all over his face, greedily drinking in the look in his face. The normally stoic Aaron coming apart in your hands  is a sight to behold. Hair sticking in every possible direction, breathing heavy trough kiss-bruised lips is a sight you will carry forever.

You nod quickly, diving on for another kiss.

“Yeah, yeah, come on, don’t hold back on my part.” Aaron groans as he comes, cum seeping trough your fingers as he shakes apart in your hold. You keep gently stroking him as he comes down from is orgasm, stopping when a shiver runs trough his body.

You’re still pressed close, so you you notice quickly when one of his hands moves down your front. He squeezes your cock trough your pants, and you buck your hips into his hand. He chuckles, and then he’s unbuckling your pants, and within seconds his hand is around your cock and moving. You moan, trowing your head back, giving him ample space to lean forward and kiss along your neck.

“Fuck, ah, no marks.”

“Good for you that it is scarf season.” Like the fucking tease that he is Aaron lick a long stripe along your throat, but he does move further down, sucking and biting bruises into the skin on your chest as his hand moves up and down slowly on your cock.

You can’t help the noises the escapes you, moans and groans mixing with heavy breaths. his hands is firm on you, taking you closer and closer with every second, building up until your toes starts to curl.

“Fuck, A-Aaron.” He hums against your skin, placing a last kiss on your collarbone before moving so you’re on eye level once more, a hand in your hair tugging lightly.

“Don’t hold back on my part.” The words are said with a small grin his face, and you div in to kiss him as you cum, spilling all over his hand.

For a few minutes, neither of you move, just catching your breath together in silence. You are the first to move, twisting around so you can get your t-shirt back. Aaron frowns, but you just use it to wipe his hand off and yours. You kiss his knuckles after you clean them off, getting a single laugh as a reaction. Discarding the t-shirt once more, you tuck yourself back into your pants, Aaron doing the same.

A few beats more of silence, both of you not really knowing what to say.

“That was-” Aaron breaks first, but stops himself.

“Yeah...” You can’t help but slowly break into a grin, then a little laughter. He does the same, quiet laughter and a smile making your heart warm as he pulls you back into his still shirtless chest.

You let him, content and almost ready to fall asleep again, but not before you get out some last words.

“Next time I would prefer a bed though.”

“Next time?” He questions as his hand settles against your back.

“Mhm.”

“Alright, I’ll remember that.” He ruffles your hair, placing a single kiss on top of your head. Within minutes you are asleep, back to dreamland in your arms, for once content with sleeping in.

(You don’t take your scarf off on the whole way home, but if anyone in the team notices, none of them mention it, but you can see a smirk threaten to break out on Hotch’s face every time he glances at it.)

[dourpeep]

ALRIGHT SO I WAS REWATCHING A SCENE FROM HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE! AND I THOUGHT OF THIS!!! KAZUXIAOREADER+HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE!!!!

so Xiao's the mysterious childhood friend+neighbor

Kazuha is howl

And you've been cursed

What is the curse you might ask?

Memory loss

You have lost bits and pieces of your memory (Some big some small)

When you wake up you can remember your name and a few other things

Like how you trust Xiao and the person who put the memory loss curse on you!

So you go to Xiao

And when you tell him you were half expecting him not to believe you

But imagine your surprise when he tells you that you two might need to go to an old acquaintance of his

So you 2 start your journey to find kazuha

You learn more about Xiao (he also learns more about you)

You 2 finally find kazuha

And you learn that There are 2 ways to get rid of the curse

1) kill the person who put the curse on you (or ask them nicely to remove it but lets be honest are they really going to do that? I mean they just put a whole ass curse on you... )

2) with magic and herbs and all that shit [the second one takes several months]

Whichever one you choose you'll still fall for the 2 of them

But for the sake of fluff let's say you choose the 2nd one because you don't want them to get hurt

I imagine that you have to be touching them in some way (like holding hands and all that) or be in the same area?/room as them

You guys made a deal at the beginning of this

"the moment the curse is lifted you go your separate ways"

Just for a tiny bit of spice&angst

You know that you shouldn't but you're probably going to miss how kazuha plays with your hair when you're laying on his lap reading a book you got from his library

You're also going to miss how Xiao accompanies you on your trips to the morning market and his funny little comments

Xiao's going to miss how you stay with him and let him play with your hands after he's had a nightmare

Kazuha's going to miss how you help him out in the kitchen (even though he told he's perfectly fine doing the cooking all by himself)

You 3 are going to miss the comfort you found in each other

But you guys don't wanna lose that comfort

So you guys start subtly hinting at the fact that you don't mind continuing this even after your curse is lifted

Anyways slow-burn am I right?

Also just for fun the one that put the curse on you is none other than Kreideprinz (Aka Albedo)

I think the reason kazuha agreed to help you out so easily is because he owes Xiao for something in the past

That's it thanks for reading ❤️

-no primogems (i really went from for the sake of fluff to spice&angst)

IDHFOEIHF OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY FINALLY GONNA POST THIS FOR THE SAKE OF FINALLY POSTING IT SO Y'ALL CAN HAVE SOME BACKGROUND TO IT AND I CAN CLEAR UP SOME GENERAL STUFF BEFORE

The final product--or at least the roadmap that I've written out--is going to be rather different from this OTL

Though, ofc I'll be using bits and pieces because this was the inspiration!! The series will feature Albedo, Kazuha, and Xiao as the main cast (alongside you, dearest reader). In addition, Xiao will still be the only one you remember...but there will not be a pact, and, naturally, there is more to the curse that what seems.

There also won't be a cure because ehe we like to make things complicated here.

Kazuha plays a part similar to one of the roles in HMC as well.

He is a stranger to you in all meanings of the word. Even if there is some familiarity, it resonates in a way that isn't quite right. Essentially, it feels as if there is something missing, but you do not know.

Finally, Albedo's part is much bigger than I originally intended but for for the reason that he is the catalyst for the events of the series. Once I polish up the masterlist, you'll kinda get a hint of what his role is and why.

Feel free to theorize :3c

[saturdaysky]

hello! i hope you don't mind a message, but i am just excited to see someone else who liked AMCE and would love to know if you have recs for books that are similar, because i've been thinking about it for like a month straight since i finished reading it and would love something else to occupy my brain the way that it did. no pressure to answer ofc, just happy to share good vibes over a book :)

I do not mind it at all! <3

I do have some books that scratched a similar itch as A Memory Called Empire! I looooved the thoughtful focus on culture and language and identity within an intricate setting, so these recs follow that pattern somewhat.

Under a cut because this got kind of long.

The Imperial Radch trilogy by Ann Leckie

Liked the exploration of culture, identity, and imperialism in AMCE? You will probably like these books, since they also grapple with those themes. Also present is the exploration of personhood, who has it, and who does not -- because our main character is a person who used to be a starship. Or well, sort of. Wikipedia has a decent blurb:

The novel follows Breq—who is both the sole survivor of a starship destroyed by treachery, and the vessel of that ship's artificial consciousness—as she seeks revenge against the ruler of her civilization.

These books are honestly some of my favorite books ever. They combine a really thoughtful and deliberate focus on all the stuff mentioned above, fascinating plots and world-building, and characters who absolutely made me Feel Things. Highly recommended if you like, say, emotionally closed-off and damaged characters learning to care and be cared for while also skillfully navigating an intricate web of power to pursue their goals and reckon with the harm they've caused. But with bonus smart thoughts about robots.

The Foreigner series by C.J. Cherryh

I haven't fully made my way through this series, but it's rewarding every time I sit down to read another book. The books follow Bren Cameron, diplomat to an alien court, as he negotiates the intricate web of politics and intrigue involved in making sure the crash-landed colony ship he represents doesn't get obliterated or obliterate anyone else, despite humans making some monumental fuck-ups in the recent past.

And when you live and work and eat among one people, how much do you really belong to the people you came from? Of course, neither side really trusts someone who straddles both worlds, and to cap it off, the atevi people he lives among are different from humans in a fundamental way: they have no word for friend or love because those are alien concepts to the atevi. They do not feel such things. Instead, they live by an intricate web of obligation and favors. Trust is something a little more practical and a lot more deadly, for the atevi.

But these are not heartless novels -- part of the joy is watching the main characters grow meaningful relationships, even though the form is fraught and strange and never quite means the same thing to the people on either side.

If you like slow and thorough explanations of culture where meeting with your friend's grandmother is a potentially perilous activity (because the tea might be poisoned, because she might take you on a hunting trip you won't come back from, because she's a formidable political power and might be trying to assassinate your friend, because your friend might know all of this and have sent you anyway, also your friend is the king) these are books you might like.

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

If you like deep dives of culture, language, identity, and loyalty within the deadly intrigue of a fantasy court, I hiiiiighly recommend this book. The book follows Maia, the youngest and least-favored heir to the throne who gets unexpectedly crowned when everyone else in line dies and must quickly learn to survive the cutthroat politics. But Maia isn't cutthroat by nature; he is kind and must negotiate how to keep that kindness in the face of pressures that would be easy to solve with cruelty, as well as people keen to take advantage of what they think of as a weakness.

This book'll hit you with a lot of fantasy language at first (it's a focus of the book), but if you stick with it you'll be fine. You're learning all this intricate court language at the same time as our protag; he too is a little out of his depth at the start.

Steerswoman series by Rosemary Kirstein

I dearly want to go back and read these -- it's been a few years, but they absolutely sucked me in. The books follow Rowan, a steerswoman, as she tracks down the mystery of a strange and incongruous gemstone. In-universe steerswomen are basically traveling scientists and naturalists who have taken an oath of truth.

The books start out in what seems like your fairly typical Standard Fantasy Setting with wizards and dragons, but as Rowan learns more about the strange gem, it's clear that this Standard Fantasy Setting is...not as it seems. There are three things that I loved about these books: the sense of wonder and discovery as our fantasy scientist protag reasons through problems and begins to discover she lives in a sci fi world, the interesting relationship between the main characters, and the excitement you as a reader have when YOU realize exactly what mysterious object Rowan is describing and what the implications of that are for the setting.

The Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin

Riveting series -- brutal and beautiful. Straddles the line in some respects between sci fi and fantasy. Follows characters who live on a far, far-future Earth plagued by catastrophic climate events called "Seasons" that last generations. There are some people born who have power drawn from the earth; these people are alternately hated and ruthlessly trained to hone their powers to attempt to prevent another Season. (This sort of sounds like the setup to a YA coming-of-age novel, but it is really really not.)

The world and fantastical aspects are fascinating (cyclical post apocalyptic societies! geology magic!), and the books themselves explore family bonds, racism in both a personal and systemic sense, and broken systems and the wounds they leave upon the people within them even as those people wound others. The series is not a light read, but it is a good one.

Literally anything by Ursula K. Leguin

All of her work could be recommended if you liked AMCE. Her writing spans fantasy and science fiction, and includes thoughtful and moving explorations of some similar ideas: culture and cultural exchange, gender, different societal setups, you name it.

If you're looking for a good novel, The Left Hand of Darkness is a classic for a reason. If you'd like a sample platter of interesting short stories, The Birthday of the World and Other Stories is wonderful.

[mashiraostail]

could you maybe do a part 2 of the depressive episode ask with fatgum, hawks, n gang orca pease?

ofc anon! I think these get progressivley longer also fldsfdsjl idk why that is, sorry!

Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fatgum You were both busy people, Taishiro was even busier than your average pro now that he’d taken on those two students, he didn’t mind the extra work though. Plus he was used to having you around on top of it all. He understood you worked as well, and he’d even tried going there to surprise you since it had been a few days since the pair of you spent any time together which was entirely unlike you only for your coworkers to say that you’d called out a fair bit of time. Maybe you’d headed home, a family birthday or special occasion beaconed you, but whenever you left you always asked him to watch your place, he’d hardly heard from you beyond a text for the past week or so now. So he decided to head over to yours after calling it early one day, he sent Kirishima and Amajiki packing and told them he had a small emergency to deal with, which wasn’t exactly a lie. He was growing a bit concerned for you your lack of communication with him wasn’t just rare it was totally unheard of, normally you were joined to him at the hip, you adored him and you always made sure he heard it all the time. He didn’t want to be overbearing or show up uninvited but he hated the idea of you being sick or worse with no help around, he understood how badly you wanted to be perfect for him, you didn’t want to add to his workload or be a bother at all, he was just trying to figure out the best way to make you see that you could never do any of that to him, and you’re perfect for him however you want to be. He knocks on the door a few times to no avail before electing to use his key, you’d given it to him a while ago but he still knocked most of the time, he didn’t like barging in on you, despite how he loved to have you do it to him, nothing was better than an unannounced surprise visit from you in his eyes.  “Anyone home?” He shuts the door quietly behind him and looks around. The mess says you should be in, that’s for sure. He’s holding a bag of snacks in his hands, plus some medicines and general stuff in case you were sick with a cold or the flu, and he already had his whole chastising speech set up in his head for you.  But he had to find you first. There wouldn’t have been any place for you in the living room, the couch was littered with groceries that had yet to be put away, the coffee table covered in glasses and the kitchen wasn’t much better, it was full of everything and anything but actual food. The door to the laundry room was just barely holding a tidal wave of unfolded clothes back. The bedroom door was slightly ajar.  “Hey, you-”  He nudges the door open with his shoulder, “‘re you decent? Can I open my eyes ‘fore I bump into something-”  “Taishiro?” He hears the rumpling of blankets, and your voice is wet and tired and warbly and even though you didn’t give him the go-ahead he couldn't help but rush over to you at the sound of it. “Hey, what’s the matter? He drops the bag on the bed to your other side and instinctively cups your face in his hands.  “What are you doing here I-”   “I was just in the area and... it’s been a while since I spent any time with you, sorry barge in like this, you didn’t answer the door, I just wanted to check on you..and it seems like it was a good thing I did..” You’re looking up at him like a deer in headlights, it’s only then that he realizes his potential indiscretion. He moves to pull away from you, to wait for a green light to touch you and be close to you, he didn’t want to overwhelm you, or make you feel guilty or anything like that. You can sense that he’s about to pull back, and a few minutes ago all you wanted was to be alone but now that he was here, the last thing you wanted was for him to not be near you. You take a hold of his wrist.  He let out a long, thankful sigh, “alright then, I’ll stay right here.” He sits on the edge of your bed, “I’m glad you’re here.” He nudges your hair back with his other hand, “’re you sick?”  You shake your head in his hands, “No I just-” Your voice waivers, “I feel so terrible-”  “Terrible like how?” He looks guilty of something and it just makes you feel worse, “did something happen? Someone giving you a hard time or-”  “No-” You choke it out tears already slipping down your face, “I just..I’m so exhausted and I feel like everyone hates me or forgot about me and I know somewhere in my head that that’s such a stupid thing to even worry about but I can’t stop worrying and-”  “Hey, it’s alright, it’s alright,” he shushes you, “I see now, I get it now.” He pushes your cheeks up under his palms, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. I didn’t come sooner-”  “It’s not your job to take care of me-” You warble, “I’m being a stupid baby I-”  “Stop that. Just because something isn’t my job or responsibility doesn’t mean I still won’t wanna do it. You take care of me all the time.” “This isn't the same I-”  “Come on and give me a hug.” He cuts you off before you can get anything else out, “I really need a hug, can you?” He scoops you up, underneath your arms and pulls you forward, he drops back into your mussed up pillows.  “Tighter,” he complains as your arms coil around him weakly, and you laugh through a cascade of tears.  “Feels good to cry huh?” He’s holding the back of your head with more protective instinct than you’ve ever felt from anyone. His other hand pulls the blanket up around you.  “I couldn’t- I’ve been- all week and I just-” You hiccup, “I had to so bad but I couldn’t, and you-” He shushes you again. “Go on ahead, cry as much as you need to. I won’t say it doesn’t break my heart a little to hear it, but I know you’ll feel better after. And don’t go apologizing for this either, sometimes it’s just what you need. Let it all out. I’ll be here if you get sick from it. Afterward, I can help clean up, get you in a nice hot shower, make you something to eat? Sound good?”  “Will you stay all night?” You were pressed into his chest, his tear-stained shirt muffled your voice but he got the idea.  “Honey, I’ll stay as long as you want me.” 

Keigo Takami/Hawks The no. 2 hero rarely has much time to kill, that being said Keigo liked to make it a point to see you as often as he could, or at least to text you. But over the past few days, you'd hardly replied at all, and when you did they were just simple one or two-word answers. It worried him, gnawed at him, for a myriad of reasons; were you sick? Were you drowning in work? Had you run into some kind of trouble? Were you injured? Had you gotten tired of waiting up for him? Sick of canceled dates and being woken up by him clambering out of bed early in the morning to answer a call, exhausted by all the would-be intimate moments between the pair of you that were interrupted by his work? All of these possibilities were equal parts nerve-wracking and heartbreaking. If you were sick he wanted you to reach out and ask him for help, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t make time for if you were involved, he’d figure it out, he always did... if you were in some kind of trouble or injured did you not feel like you could ask him to come to watch out for you without being a bother to him? Did he make you feel like a burden? Or worst of all had you just grown tired of him? Him and his baggage and his job? The gnawing in his chest become too hard to ignore. He could pawn this patrol off on someone else, it was a slow enough day anyways, maybe Enji would do it. He snorted at the thought. He’d just fly by your window, see if you were in, what you were up to. Maybe you were just swamped at work, he reminded himself, sure he was busy but that didn't mean you couldn’t be too, and two busy partners can make for sparse communication, there was a fair chance all of this was just you being busy too. He counts the windows and flies up, it wasn’t hard to memorize which one leads to your apartment. When he gets up there the blinds are open, he can see right inside.  You woke up feeling okay today, okay enough that you figured maybe you could tackle this goddamn laundry at least, it was making such a mess in the hall and you thought maybe if you got that sorted out you’d feel a little more useful. But somehow you just ended up sitting on the floor in the hall, back against the wall, laundry basket spilled before you in a bigger mess than when you started. You may be an adult with a job and apartment but you were crying about the mess. You were an adult, you can cry about whatever you want, that’s a perk of being an adult. You sink further into the wall somehow.  His vantage point lets him look clean through the living room into the small hallway where you sat. It’s slightly cracked, just enough that a few feathers can wiggle in and push it open enough that he can slide his fingers underneath. He should head to the ground, walk up the stairs and knock, like a normal person. But he can’t help it, he’s panicked, what the hell happened to you? You were just sitting there, laundry basket spilled, sobbing into your hands? Were you hurt? Did someone break-in? He couldn’t waste time on foot.  “Hey-” He strangles it out as he’s contorting himself to duck into your window, “It’s okay, hey- I’m here, I’m here now, babe what happened?” He’s squeezing into your window, his wings folding and tufting up against the windowpane, “do you need my help? Are you hurt? Is someone here did someone-” He falls inside unceremoniously, a ball of red feathers and sherpa by your house plant.  You’d never been so happy to witness his stupid antics, you’d never met someone so smart yet so dumb. It felt good to see him, you hadn’t realized how much you missed him. “Keigo?” You drop the shirt you were crying into, “n-no, I’m not hurt I just dropped the laundry and..-” Coincidentally it was his shirt.  “Is this because of me?” He notices it fall to the ground, he looks incredibly guilty, “did I do something to upset you? To-” he scrambles up into a sitting position, “make you feel like I don’t care about you?” A feather is already righting the tipped over laundry basket, a few more collecting various tee shirts and socks.  “What?” You wipe your face with your hands as he clambers over to you, you sniffle, “no Keigo you didn’t-” You shake your head as he nudges your legs apart and sits between your bent knees, “I’m sorry I’m the problem it’s me-” You look forward to him and his eyebrows furrow.  “What do you mean? No one’s the problem there isn’t a problem what’s the-” He squeezes your arms, “forget it. Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you..and now I find you crying on the ground and-”  “I’ve been here.” Your voice cracks, “I haven’t gone out once.” You laugh wetly, “it’s embarrassing. I just...I can’t do it. I feel so useless. I do nothing all day but I’m so tired Keigo..I’m even too tired to sleep..”  The mess that would have taken you days to clean on your own was practically rectified now, and Keigo hadn’t even lifted a finger.  “I’m sorry I worried you.” You wither back into the wall and he shakes his head.  “I don’t want sorry. I get it, I understand now.” He takes your face in his hands, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner-”  “Your job’s more important than taking care of me like a child-”  “That’s not a fair comparison. And it’s not true anyway. I know my work is important but that doesn’t mean other things can’t be important too. I want to be here for you. You would if it were me right?”  You nod meekly at that, “thank you for coming I- I don’t even know what happened one minute it was fine and the next I-”  “It doesn’t matter. It happens to the best of us. I just wish you’d called me. Asked for my help I... I was so worried that you were sick or..worse than that.. you were sick of me.” He laughs a little, “how stupid is that right? Like you’d ever get sick of me.”  “Does that feather have my underwear?” You look at it over his shoulder.  “Sorry. I... thought it would be funny.” It falls to the ground, you snort. “You’re right. That is stupid Keigo.” You murmur, “I’d never get sick of you.” “My job’s important, I know it eats up my time, and we don’t get to be together as much as I want to sometimes...”  “I think I should be the one pleading my case right now Keigo.” You laugh a little, “my apartment is disgusting, I’m crying over dropped laundry and you haven't even seen the state of my kitchen yet. I ignored you for days over nothing, I’ve barely showered I probably smell abysmal and-”  “It wasn’t over nothing and you don’t need to plead your case with me because you’re going through a rough patch, I’m the one that’s been too busy to notice you struggling-” He shakes his head, “all because of my work, I can’t... not do it but I want to be with you, I want to be with you all the time, I’m probably so annoying blowing up your phone and climbing in your window whenever I have a few second... I don’t know how you put up with me, I’d get sick of me in a few days.” He reaches out and tugs the bottom hem of your shirt aimlessly, “I don’t know how you do it. I guess all I do know is that I want you to stay near me.”  “Keigo-” You warble and pull him into your chest, “I'm sorry I scared you-”  “Don’t be sorry just...know that I want you to ask me for help...I know it’s easier said than done but..well I just said it. I just wanna be with you, all the time, like 24/7 I don’t even care what we’re doing. I’ll do all your laundry forever if you just stay near me while I do it. It’s not a bother you aren’t burdening me just ask me for help. I don’t want you to feel like this...let’s just..” He turns into the crook of your neck and sighs, “stay like this for a minute. And then I’ll help you clean up around here, that’s what's upsetting you right? The mess? Lucky for you I’ve got plenty of hands...well feathers. And then we’ll see what else we can get done, together okay babe?”  “Yeah.” You press your cheek into his hair, “thank you for understanding.”  Keigo nods, his finger traces the neckline of your shirt and he speaks again, “Please don’t pull away so much, I missed you, you’re the only person around here who has any fun besides Rumi, and whenever we’re together one of us ends up with a broken bone or worse.”  You snort at that, “okay, noted.”  “And I think you smell great by the way.” 

Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca It felt weird to be away from Kugo so much. You just hated the idea of him seeing you like this. You were tired and irritable and in a mess all the time, you hadn’t changed your pants in days and the only meal you’d had over the past 3 days was crackers and bread, maybe toast depending on your mood. Not to mention the laundry situation or the chaotic state of your bathroom. You normally hated mess, and even though you didn’t have the energy to clean it ..it still made you terribly anxious.  You were almost out of crackers, you hated that you lived in the exact area Kugo patroled, it was how you’d met in the first place, and normally it was a delight to run into him on your way home from your own job, even just catching a glimpse of him patroling out your window usually really improved your mood but the thought of running into him now made you sick to your stomach. You couldn’t get the energy up to put something nicer on, but you didn’t even have a morsel of food left, everything you had you’d Mcgyvered into something to eat. If you saw him you’d have to explain where you’d been for the past week, why you’d been basically ignoring him, and even when you did answer him it was just to blow him off or send him to voicemail. You wanted to see him, but you were too afraid at this point, you’d dug yourself into a deep hole, there’s no way he wouldn’t be mad at you. Not that he’d ever gotten mad at you before really. But this time would be different. Or at least you’d convinced yourself of that. Maybe keeping your hood up would stop him from recognizing you.  You made it to the store with no incident, you were feeling pretty hopeful, though equally drained, you barely went up and down 3 isles before deciding you were done after finding the pre-made cold brew you’d been craving. It amounted to about 3 bags total, and the cold brew bottle wasn’t exactly small..well you could always order out.  Worried was a gross understatement, Kugo was sick with it. He wanted to barge in, everytime he offered to go to you you said no, you had a conference call, you were working late, your neighbors were fighting again, so on and so forth. That paired with the one to two-word answers he’d been receiving made his stomach hurt in a way he only experienced when he couldn’t tell the outcome of a big mission. He asked if you were okay practically every day and you always said you were fine. Though when he mentioned it to Hakamada the other hero informed him that ‘I’m fine’ was usually 'code’ for something else. If space was what you wanted then he’d let you have some...that being said when he saw what was certainly your receding figure on the street..wearing shorts in this weather?  “Hey-” His voice makes you jump out of your skin. God the universe seriously hates you this week.  “Kugo-” You don’t wanna turn around.  “What are you wearing? It’s freezing out you should be wearing a coat and pants.” He wraps an arm around you, “you’re shaking. What were you thinking huh?” He reaches out and takes your groceries too, “you better be going home.”  “I am..” You murmured, “I just needed to run out fast, I’m not cold, don’t get distracted from work because of me-”  “I’ll bring you home. It’s fine, don’t worry about that there are plenty of people out today.”  “I-”  “Please let me bring you home.” He huddles you into his side, “I’ve been worried..”  “Have you?”  “Of course I have, you’ve made yourself so scarce recently, and now this?”  “’m sorry..” You hug your chest as you turn the corner to your complex.  “Do you want me to come up with you?” He turns to you. Now you were at a crossroads, you’d seen him, you were seeing him, he was touching you, his side was warm and his arm around you was comforting and the idea of being alone was equally as upsetting as the idea of him seeing the state of your apartment or the state of you close up. “You aren’t even wearing layers.” He scoffs as the neckline of your hoodie dips a bit. “Do you want me, yes or no? Either is okay but you need to get inside before you get sick.”  “I do want you to come with me I just-”  “Well explain upstairs then.” He's ushering you inside the moment you finish. “Did you lose your keys?” He’s still squeezing you into his side when you stop at your front door. “I... don’t want you to see it.”  “See what my love? Your apartment? I think we’re a bit past that.” He presses his nose into your hood which is still covering your head. “It’s a mess- I’m a mess Kugo.”  “I doubt it's that bad. Even if it is I won’t mind, so let’s go in instead of standing out here like two fools.”  “Promise you won’t be mad.” You turn the key and he sighs.  “I promise.” The door creaks open and you aren’t sure if it’s your anxious mind playing tricks on you or if it’s 10x worse than what you remember.  “Oh god-” You warble, “I'm so sorry Kugo this is so embarrassing.” The way your voice breaks makes him jump. “Hey-” He sets your groceries down on the sliver of free counter space he can find, “no tears my love, no tears okay?” He puts his hands on your shoulders, “is this where you’ve been? Why you haven’t been talking to me? You’ve been all shut up in here?” He turns to you and you just want to fold in on yourself and disappear. “I wanted to clean, and I wanted to call you but  I just couldn’t get the energy to and it kept piling up and my bathroom is even worse and I didn’t know what to do and then even when I started to miss you I was too embarrassed at the idea of you seeing me like this because I can’t even comb my hair right now let alone take a shower or even change my clothes and I was afraid you’d be angry with me for letting it get so bad and I-” “Stop.” He pulls you forward and you fall against him wistlessly, “relax, you’ll work yourself up to tears like that.” He cups the back of your head. “I won’t ever be mad you for something like this. Why would you be afraid of that?” He takes your face in his hands, “and why would you be embarrassed of me seeing you when you don’t feel well? I’m here to help you.” He nudges your hood back, “call me sooner next time, please, if not for your sake for mine.” A big hand cups the nape of your neck, “I was worried sick about you dear.”  “I’m sorry-” Your voice cracks, “I’m sorry Kugo I just-”  “I understand. I’m sorry too, I should have checked in sooner, I should have made sure you knew you can trust me with this sort of thing.” “It’s my fault not your’s don’t be sorry Kugo I-” You’re blinking back tears and he sighs. “There’s no sense in going back and fourth about it.” His thumb rubs your temple, “I’m just glad I’m here now. I’m sorry you don’t feel well but seeing you after so long is a relief, I really missed you.”  “I missed you too Kugo-” Your voice cracks and you throw your arms around his neck and shoulders.  “Do you need to cry? Don’t hold back for my sake.” A big hand rubs circles between your shoulder blades egging you on, “if crying will help then cry. I’m right here for you. No more worrying okay my dear?”  “Okay-” You wipe your nose on your sleeve over his shoulder, tears falling freely, “thank you for coming Kugo-” Your feet are hardly on the ground anymore, your face nestled into his shoulder, “I’m sorry for getting tears all over your-”  “What did I say about worrying?” He pulls you back and uses his thumb to clean off one cheek, leaning down and brushing his nose against the other you let out a thankful sigh at the gentle touch.  “I just can’t help it Kugo-” You murmur, voice still wet with tears, “i just love you so much and I don’t-”  “Oh, you’re such a sweet little thing.” He pulls you up a bit by your cheeks, “it just breaks my heart to see you like this. I may never let you out of my sight again.”  “I’m okay with that.” You duck into his neck with a hiccup and he laughs.  “I love you too, why don’t you take a warm shower, I’ll help you however I can, then I think we should call it a night, we can worry about the mess tomorrow.” “You don’t mind?” You squeeze him around his shoulders and he hums.  “I don’t mind at all.” He promises, “I’ll do whatever I can to help you feel better.”

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

OKAY so last night i said something in tags about “ask me about my thoughts on atla post-canon polyamory” 99% because I had typed a bunch of shit in the tags and then accidentally CLOSED THE TAB thus losing said tags, so that was a bummer, BUT like 3 different people reached out wanting to hear about it so HERE GOES. (thanks to @taibhsearachd for rambling this out with me last night)

SO. this started bc we got somehow on the topic of how much we really disliked the whole Aang/Katara kiss at the end of the show.  Not because we’re against them kissing (Aang had to already have turned 13 by then, an innocent kiss is perfectly reasonable for a 13yo in my opinion), but because the placement of the kiss made it so... CENTRAL. We were talking about how we would’ve liked the kiss to have been earlier, preferably before the big finale, and then like... they still could’ve had a soft romantic moment on the balcony but it could’ve been like.  Hand holding or sitting together with Katara’s head on his shoulder.

And Birdie mentioned she’d always liked Zutara back in Ye Olde Tymes because the whole “Aang and Katara get together when they’re barely 13 and 15″ thing just seemed... really untenable if we’re going with endgame, AND it made a lot of sense to get Katara and Zuko together politically, especially since there’s nooooo princess up north anymore since she turned into the moon and all. But the resurgence of the fandom (thank you for once Netflix!) has opened our eyes to ZUKO AND SOKKA and that’s fuckin amazing but now we’re back to square one in re: Aang and Katara. But then I realized that we can fix all of this with a) allowing for healthy breakups of relationships that don’t work yet but might work when the people involved have grown/processed things, and b) extensive polyamory.

And so here’s my thought:

Aang and Katara break up for a while probably not long after the end of book 3.  They’re fucking kids, they’re traumatized kids no less, and they both have a lot of shit they need to deal with both personally and in the world that isn’t really conducive to “baby’s first serious relationship”.  They’re still friends, they view it as “well... let’s maybe try again in a few years if we’re both still interested”.  All their friends are aware of this and supportive and in the end it’s healthy for both of them bc their traumas and coping mechanisms didn’t always play nice with each other even BEFORE all the fallout from the finale and having to take on more responsibility in the world and such.

Zuko properly gets with Sokka and Suki during this time, though there’s no talk of like. Marriage or anything. Yes, Sokka’s politically got the same sort of appeal as Katara, but the thing about politically advantageous marriages at that level is there’s sort of the assumption that you’ll be, y’know, having heirs, so Sokka’s not really cut out for that and Suki flat out refused to be official Fire Lady or whatever.

So once Katara and Aang are older, like Aang’s 17 and Katara’s 19 and Zuko’s sitting over here at 21, and his advisors are all “ok but seriously Fire Lord Zuko, we really should look into at least a BETROTHAL of some sort” and he just sighs, and they’re bringing up all these Fire Nation ladies and he’s like “no it’s gotta be more diplomatic than that, she shouldn’t be Fire Nation” and so one of them’s like “well, uh, that water tribe lady you’re friends with, she’s set to be a pretty strong leader as she gets older, that would be a good way to do it.  Or that blind Earth Kingdom--” “NOT TOPH.” “ok but seriously, tho, think about it your majesty”

So Zuko’s torn because he really does like Katara, and she’d be an amazing Fire Lady in addition to being an amazing... whatever her title would be down in the Southern Water Tribe (I definitely picture her and Sokka basically being the leaders of the pan-tribal council - he handles military and adjacent stuff and she handles the rest).  But Katara’s with Aang again FINALLY not that they’ve made a big deal of it outside their friends.  BUT he knows that y’know... people can be with more than one person.  Hell, look at him and Sokka and Suki, right?

So he goes to talk to Aang like “I want to make sure I run this past you so she doesn’t have to try and do it, because I’m the one even bringing it up, and it’s obviously up to her, BUT here’s the sitch”.

And see, the thing about the Air Nomads is it really doesn’t make sense to me that they’d have the same kind of ideas about like.  Monogamy and parenthood and relationships as other nations, ‘cause like.... the kids are clearly raised communally.  Like, I vote ‘you probably know who your parents are but really all the adults are your parents, maybe you get an extra cake from them on your birthday but that’s about it’ for the most part. And y’know being with who you want to be with sort of thing. Sure you’ll have people you might be more committed to, but by and large the general consensus is “love who you love, whoever and however many people that is!”

So Zuko’s all prepared to angst for even ASKING if Aang would mind playing technical second fiddle in an heir-producing/marriage/inheritance/etc sense to HIM, ugh what if Aang hates him for even thinking it? and Aang’s just like “oh yeah that’s cool dude, if she’s down go for it! You wanna talk to her together? I don’t mind being there to reassure her it’s ok, and that you weren’t asking me permission to ask her so much as you were making sure it wouldn’t upset me if you did, and all that” and Zuko’s like “...what. I.  Ok sure?”

And Katara does like Zuko, she just y’know, also liked Aang and didn’t want to GIVE UP Aang, but Zuko’s like “it’ll be good for our people, and I’d never make you stay in the fire nation full time you have your own responsibilities and also you don’t have to stop being with Aang or even like hide it or anything, it’s not like people don’t know I’m with Sokka and stuff, it’s just, y’know, OFFICIAL HEIRS and stuff” and so she’s like “Oh!  Oh, yeah, that’s good, we can have a couple kids and stuff”

But ofc they end up a lot closer than “just a couple kids” but it’s sweet!  She has kids with Zuko and kids with Aang and really as long as one of them turns out a firebender (can the avatar have a kid of any bending type? NO ONE KNOWS but Zuko’s advisors are prepared to accept it at this point) so long as they end up with A VIABLE HEIR that Zuko will claim etc etc.

And of course Zuko and Sokka and Suki have a couple kids whose parentage is uncertain not that they really CARE, and Suki and Aang aren’t really into each other romantically but when they’re a bit older they discuss it and decide to have a kid just so they can have a shot at a potential airbender baby, because heck yeah rebuilding the airbenders, might as well get some extra genetics up in this ish.

And these kids are all largely raised together in this big pack of like 10 kids of varying ages who move between 2 or 3 different homes, and Zuko rules the Fire Nation and Sokka and Katara lead the southern water tribes, and Aang does his Avatar thing, and they all spend as much time together as possible with the kids and Suki and some of her girls from Kyoshi Island are the main people ALWAYS THERE for the kids.

And there’s at least one kind of each bender in the group (bc you can’t tell me it’s 100% you have to have a bending parent, considering neither Katara’s mother or father were benders, so one of Suki’s kids is DEFFO an earthbender) and they’re a chaotic bunch and sometimes the Gaang forgets which one of them provided the genetics for which kid but really it doesn’t matter bc they’re ALL the kids’s parents, and all the kids are ALL their kids, and it’s a big happy messy disaster of a polycule that the Fire Nation nobility and advisors despair over, but they can’t deny that it seems to be working out pretty well and that the Fire Lord is good at his job and pretty damn happy, so they don’t bitch too much about it.

...Also at some point Sokka and Toph discuss dating and end up sort of doing it for a while but then going back to being friends, but she does ABSOLUTELY get him to father one of her kids, which she then declares firmly she made out of a rock and bended to life, and most people are preeeeetty sure she’s full of shit but can’t fully discount the possibility and only the Gaang knows the truth.

so yeah that’s my avatar polyamory thoughts, it is not canon-compliant with legend of korra but who cares this is my imagination and headcanon and LoK doesn’t play into it at all. *nod*

[snarkwrites]

01 & 02 | home; juice ortiz.

Notes:

.... and apparently, my brain yearned to write angsty and kind of tragic things. I really haven’t written much for sons of anarchy beyond a few little short things here and there so.. be warned. I’m gonna loosely follow some of the things that happen on the show timeline, but.. this one might take longer to write / post / update because I’m going to try to watch SOA again as I do this. Try being the operative.

So uh.. buckle up?

Also.. I haven’t made a cover for this yet. or a soundtrack. And this is c

Pairing:

Teller Morrow OFC x Juice Ortiz.

Summary:

“Home is where love resides, memories are created, friends always belong, and laughter never ends.” “A house is made of bricks and beams. A home is made of hopes and dreams.” “Home is not a place…it's a feeling.” 

“Home is wherever I’m with you.” 

Years ago, Hazelynn Teller (Morrow) left Charming behind. She turned her back on everything in search of something.. anything that felt like it fit. But nothing ever did. After a series of events cause her to re-evaluate and she finds herself returning to Charming, can she fix everything she broke when she left?

And again I ask.. why must my summaries suck? I swear this might possibly be better than the summary.

Warnings:

Injury / accident tw - for this chapter only. Mentions of a genetic heart defect / a newborn in NICU. fighting / violence tw - duh, this show was pretty damn violent and there’s no way I can escape having at least some of the major stuff that happened present. slow burn and angst. because people don’t just fall back together and feelings aren’t magically healed. eventual filth. any other triggering  things that arise I’ll warn in those chapters. These are just the ones I can think of, immediately, right now.

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ] 

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting 

@sassymox

@twistnet

                                      ONE.

The phone ringing had Jax Teller sitting up in bed. He grimaced at the pounding hangover and he reached for his cellphone, answering.

“Are you family of Hazelynn Teller Morrow?”

“She’s my baby sister, why?” Jax wasn’t getting a good feeling at all. The woman on the other end of the line sounded so formal and her tone was so clipped. Unconcerned. It was his own personal experience that usually, when you got a call like this in the middle of the night, nothing good ever came of it.

What the nurse told him next left him reeling.

“There’s been an accident. She’s been admitted to Santa Monica General. Her daughter is in the NICU.”

“You said Santa Monica General, right?” Jax was sitting up in bed now, trying to get his heart down out of his throat. He was slipping out of bed, grabbing for his jeans on the floor. “Are you sure there isn’t some mistake? My sister, she… She doesn’t have a kid. Not that I’m aware of..” He was hoping against hope that there was a mistake somewhere, but the nurse spoke again.

“Your sister was in labor and on her way here to give birth when the accident occurred. We had to induce labor. Given the state your sister is in, we’re calling the family since we have no way to know who the baby’s father is… Just to err on the side of caution.”

Jax’s stomach rolled. Tara hugged against him from behind. “What’s going on, Jax?”

Jax shushed her, listening to the nurse detail his sister’s injuries and the fact that while they were trying to save his niece she slipped into a coma and had yet to wake up. When he hung up the phone, he swung at a wall.

“Jax?”

“I have to go pick up my mom.” Jax grabbed the keys to his bike and rushed out of the house, firing it up.

The entire drive across town to his mother’s house passed by in a daze. He didn’t even remember what color the stoplight had been when he went through it, only that he was sitting in his mother’s driveway only three and a half minutes later. Rushing to his mom’s front door. Pounding on it to wake her up.

Gemma threw the door open, a brow raised at Jax when she saw him standing on the other side. “Jax?”

“Mom, it’s Hazelynn… The hospital in Santa Monica called me.”

Gemma’s mouth opened only to close again. It was probably one of very few times over the course of his life that Jax Teller had actually seen his mother speechless. Or about to cry.

“What happened? Jax, talk to me. Talk to me now.” Gemma demanded, her voice shaky. Jax took a few deep breaths and put his arms around his mother, explaining what the nurse told him when she’d called. Gemma’s tears started to fall and she bolted back into the house, shaking Clay awake.

Clay grumbled at the early hour but sat up.

Looking as if he’d vomit as Jax repeated everything the nurse told him for a second time that night.

“I’ll drive. Neither of you are in the shape.” Clay was up and getting dressed on auto pilot, stopping at one point to question, “They say whether she had anybody there with her?”

“The whole reason the nurse is calling family is because she was coming to the hospital alone because she’d gone into labor. They can’t track down a father.”

“Oh, I’ll find the bastard.”

“Clay…”

“I’m not kidding Gemma.” Clay’s fists clenched and he took a few deep breaths.

“We’ll just get there and assess the situation. Go from there. She needs us.” Gemma gave Clay a firm look of warning and it seemed to get him reasonably calm.

The next few hours were sitting in silence in a waiting room. Endless pots of shitty break room coffee. Gemma jumping every time someone coded.

And finally, around 9 am, a doctor got around to them.

Hazelynn was awake. And her vitals seemed steady. 

“Can we go back to see her?”

“In an hour. We  want to make sure she’s up to it.”

“What about my niece?”

“One at a time. I’ll send a nurse over to get you prepped to go down to NICU.” The doctor promised, setting off to go and track down a nurse.

The nurse showed up a few minutes later and Gemma stood, the shock starting to subside but only slightly. As they walked back to the NICU nursery, the nurse told Gemma that they’d detected a heart defect and Gemma explained that both herself and her granddaughter’s uncle suffered from similar. 

“We’re not supposed to let anyone back here that isn’t a parent until 8 pm.. But given the circumstance…” 

Gemma thanked her and stepped into the room, taking a seat in the chair in the corner. The nurse brought over her granddaughter and Gemma took her in her arms.

“Oh sweetie. Everything is going to be okay.”

But Gemma was afraid. So very afraid.

XXX

“ You don’t have to leave town, Haze.”

It was the last thing my brother said to me. He’d hugged me. Then my mom hugged me and wiped at her eyes. Made me promise a thousand times to call and come back to visit. I promised her I would, even though I knew deep down I’d be limiting myself to calls only.

If I went home to visit, I might not ever leave again.

And I didn’t want to be like all the other girls I went to school with, settling down and settling for whatever came their way.

I left town with all these big ambitions and plans. And one by one, life knocked them right out from beneath me. Life tried again and again to break me but I was too stubborn to be broken. 

But this last blow.. This last blow was too much.

The nurse came in to check on me and the first thing I demanded was to know if my daughter was alright. The second and a half it took the nurse to tell me that my daughter was alive and currently down in NICU was the longest second and a half of my entire life and the second I heard the nurse tell me that my daughter was alive and I hadn’t lost her, I broke.

Sobbing. Grateful.

If I’d lost her… I shoved the thought out because I just couldn’t.

“Wait.. NICU… What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with my baby?”

“The doctors detected a heart defect.”

I took a shaky breath. I’d been warned by my mom that there was a possibility that any children I had could end up with the heart defect, even though it managed to skip over me. At my last checkup, my doctor had been concerned about the genetic heart defect present in my brother and my mother. Nothing had shown up in any of the tests they’d been able to do at that point, so I’d been hopeful.

I nodded. Taking a few deep breaths. Moving to sit but wincing when a wave of pain washed over me.

The door to my private room opened and my brother stepped in. My birth father Clay standing behind him.

Jax rushed over to the bed, putting my legs back into it. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m going to see my daughter. I.. She needs me, Jax.”

“She needs you healthy, darlin.” Clay spoke up quietly.

Awkwardly, I let him hug me. Things had always been tense between us. More so when the truth came out that he was my actual father. It had thrown my entire life in a tailspin back then and while I’m not proud to admit it at all, I’d went full on rebellious. Refusing to acknowledge him.

But he’d kept trying.

“I couldn’t even keep myself from crashing a fucking car. I failed already. She could’ve died.” I was full on sobbing now as everything hit me. I looked from Jax to Clay and asked quietly, “Where’s mom?” I.. Need to see her.”

“Your mom’s down in NICU.” Clay explained, doing his best to give me a reassuring look. Wincing at the way my forehead was stitched. “Least you got the Morrow hard head, huh?” he tried to joke. Jax gave him a warning look, but rather than stubbornly refuse to go along with it like I used to in all of Clay’s past attempts to bond with me over the years, all I could do this time was nod. Mutter quietly, “Thank god.”

My brother cleared his throat.

“What about the father?”

“What about him? He’s married. Dropped me like a bad habit when he found out I wasn’t getting rid of the baby. Only after he tried to pay me off.”

Jax’s fist clenched and I shook my head. “I’m better off… I.. I mean I think I am.” my words fell away and I leaned my head back against the pillow behind me gingerly. 

“You didn’t have any friends you could get to drive you?” Clay questioned. I shook my head, not bothering to open my eyes. “I’d just moved here. I was.. Working up the nerve to come home. I didn’t really know anybody.”

“So the kid’s dad is elsewhere?” Clay questioned further. I could just tell by his tone that he was already thinking of the best way to make the situation right. To make the father of my child pay for being an actual piece of shit.

“Clay, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. Leave it alone, sir. Not everybody has to pay for their wrongs your way. The bastard will regret it one day when she grows up and she’s amazing and she didn’t need him. I don’t want the guy near me.”

It didn’t stop the look in his eyes and I sighed. Appealing to the last card I held that I thought might work. “If you care about me at all and you still want to be a part of my life, sir.. You’ll leave this alone. I just… I want to put it behind me.”

I let out a ragged breath and searched his eyes. When he seemed to relax and grumble while shaking his head, I relaxed. It felt as if he were going to let it go as I asked. Maybe going away had changed things just a little.

Jax spoke up quietly. 

“ You scared the fuck out of me.”

“Try being me.” I muttered quietly, letting my brother hug me, holding on just a little tighter.

The door to my room opened again and my mother stepped in. She didn’t look like the same carefully put together woman I remembered. She looked like she was drained. Scared to death.

Suddenly, I wanted to go back in time and punch my younger self in the throat. How could I have ever thought that just because I was a reminder of the affair my mom started with Clay Morrow before Jax’s father passed away that she cared less.. Or that me being around was just painful for her to begin with?

I felt worse than I’ve ever felt before.

Jax stopped my mom, asking if she thought they’d let him go back and sit with my daughter. My mom led him back out in the hallway, probably to go find the NICU nurse on duty and find out the answer, and this left me and my birth father alone together.

“I know we never got along real good, kid.”

“I’m sorry.” I blurted it out before he could say anything else. “I was messed up, okay? The way it came out… The way it made everyone fight… I just.. I don’t know.” I dropped my gaze to the thin white blanket over my legs and Clay sighed.

“If you want to come home… It’d make more sense, I’d think. Gonna be damn hard to help out with my grandkid when you’re all the way in Santa Monica. And I’m not about to let my daughter take all this on by herself. We clear, Red?”

I mulled it over. It wasn’t something I’d already been heavily leaning towards for the better part of a month now. I’d just been too scared to pull the trigger and do it.

“Yes sir.” I answered, managing a smile.

My mom stepped into the room, door shutting behind her quietly.

“I cannot wait until you are away from this hospital. Do you know how fucking difficult it is to get anybody to answer a simple question?” my mom muttered, leaning down, hugging me tight. Fussing over a stitch on my forehead, grumbling “They didn’t even attempt to close this properly. I’ve seen bikers at Sturgis do a better sew up.” and making me laugh. Just a little.

She pulled away from the hug and brushed some hair away from my forehead. “Sweetie, I..” she started to say something but I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Mom. For everything.”

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t know you felt the way you felt until your brother threw it up right after you left. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Don’t start crying.” my mom was reaching for a tissue, gingerly dabbing it at my eyes. “The important thing is it’s behind us. Okay?”

I nodded.

“You’re moving back to Charming.”

Normally, my mother making demands would’ve set me on edge. But I wasn’t that same angry rebellious girl anymore. And deep down, I was starting to realize just how much I loved and needed my family, especially right now.

Warts and all.

“Okay.” I managed a weak smile.

“Was she okay?” I asked quietly after another tight hug that had me wincing just a little and reminding her gently that I was one giant ache. My mom smiled and nodded. “She’s as beautiful as you, sweetie. And despite the family flaw striking again, I think she’s a fighter already. Have you got a name?”

“ Emma Sophia.”

My mom smiled at that. I figured she would because Emma was basically just Gemma, shortened. And Sophia in tribute to all the old movies she used to make me sit through with her when I was younger, after an actress named Sophia Loren.

“I like that, sweetie.”

When she was sure Clay wasn’t actively listening, she whispered quietly, “And the father?”

“Is not an issue. Nor will he ever be one. I got him to sign away paternal rights.”

“You’re sure.” My mom asked again and I nodded. “He was married, mom, I... “ I trailed off, waiting for a lecture. Instead, my mom sighed and nodded. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

And for the first time in years, I really believed she was right. Maybe everything really would be okay now.

The doctor came in to check on me again and check my vitals and after doing that, he turned to address my mother and Clay.

“Mother and baby’s vitals are holding strong and steady. I’d say that if the pattern continues, we can release Mother by the weekend.”

“What about my baby?” I spoke up quickly.

“We want to keep your daughter for observation. I’d say at least another two weeks.”

I took a few deep breaths, starting to panic a little. Wanting to cry. My mom grabbed hold of my hand and repeated calmly, “Everything will be fine. They kept your brother just as long.”

I nodded, even though the thought still scared the hell out of me. 

                                                    TWO.

The Welcome to Charming sign passed by and I smiled a little. Emma was sleeping in the carrier. I was almost home.

And hopeful.

Just as I turned down the road my mom lived on, my cell phone buzzed. I switched the call so that it went through my radio to answer.

“ Exactly how big is too big for a stuffed animal?” Jax asked and I groaned, shaking my head at the question. “What have you done, Jax?”

“There was a unicorn.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.. Remember that one Clay won you when you were twelve? This one makes two of that one.”

“Where the fuck am I putting this?”

My mom spoke up from the background. “We got it in the nursery. Barely. I told your brother he’s not allowed near the stuffed animals anymore.”

“In my defense ma, it’s my niece.”

I parked behind the motorcycles lining my mother’s driveway. Tensing just a little when I recognized Juice’s Dyna Glide parked next to Tig’s motorcycle.

And as soon as I saw him, it was like everything froze. I wasn’t ready to face him. Especially not when I considered that it felt like someone had just knocked the breath right out of me. As I walked past him, I didn’t dare look over.

I couldn’t do it, no matter how badly every part of me wanted to. My brother and Opie came over, arguing about the unicorn, Opie nearly lifting me off the ground in a hug. I reached back into the car, killing the engine and shutting the driver door. Making my way to the backseat and unbuckling the carrier.

“Awww. She’s even got the same chubby little cheeks, man.” Opie chuckled, elbowing Jax who nodded. I smiled and as soon as Emma started to wake up and cry, I dug around in my diaper bag for the bottle I’d pumped for her at a rest stop.

Sitting the carrier on the trunk of the car, I unfastened Emma, pulling her out.

Instantly drawing over at least ten gigantic bikers. Watching them fuss over her had me laughing and smiling a little.

Juice hung back. Leaning against the tree in the yard with a tire swing. Watching. Like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to come over with everyone else.. Near me. Or whether he wanted to just leave.

When he started to make his way over after Chibs stopped to whisper something in his ear, I swallowed hard. The guys had gone back to the grill set up behind the house by now. It pretty much left me sitting in the passenger seat of my car finishing up feeding Emma. Humming softly as I did so.

Humming what used to be the song that Juice and I dubbed ‘our song’.

“Visiting? I’m surprised your man let you come by yourself.”

I glanced up at Juice, taking a deep breath. Bracing myself for all the anger and bitterness I thought I’d find waiting in his gaze. Surprised when all I found instead was concern. Maybe a little hurt.

But deeper down, the same way he always used to look at me.

“Juice..” I started, but I went quiet. I didn’t know what to say. There was so much I wanted to say but it was probably beyond too late for that.

More than anything, I wished I had a rewind button.

What if I hadn’t left town? Ran from the way I felt about everything back then?

“I had a while to get over it.” he muttered, gazing at me. Going quiet. “Jax told me why you had to go. I fuckin hated it, but I had a while to get over it.”

I nodded.

Somehow I got the feeling that he was pretending it didn’t kill him. To save face.

Kind of exactly like I was right now.

“You could’ve said somethin, ya know?”

“Juice..”

He shook his head and took a deep breath. Leaning against my car. Staring up at the bright blue of the sky overhead. “It’s over and done with though.”

My stomach churned. I wasn’t sure if what he was saying was a good or a bad thing. Seeing him again after all this time, I wasn’t even sure I wanted it to be over.

Because when I left it all behind, I hadn’t just left behind a family that actually loved me, I’d left him behind too.

And looking at him now. With a more adult perspective… I suddenly found myself wondering if leaving him behind had been the biggest mistake of my life…

“Do you want to hold her?”

Juice eyed me but nodded, reaching out for her. “Hey pretty girl.” he muttered, smiling a little. After he held her for a few minutes, he placed her back in my arms.

And as he did so, the touch lingered as we locked eyes.

“I missed you.” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“I barely survived.” Juice answered, biting his lip as if he wanted to say something else. He turned and walked away and I spent a few minutes trying to pull myself back together again.

It had been harder seeing him again after all this time than I thought.

Harder to resist him. Harder to shove down the surge of emotions. Harder to try not to think about just how much I still loved him and harder to swallow the fact that by now, it was probably too late.

I got the feeling that it was only going to get so much harder.

And I sighed, because every part of me wanted to hold out hope that there was still something there but I had to accept the fact that I’d probably lit a match and set everything on fire when I left town back then. That there wasn’t any hope to be had.

That Juice was done with me.

And that hurt more than I was prepared for.

I shoved it all out of my head, wandering over to where my mom sat. Giving Tara some serious side eye.

“He had to bring her.” my mom was glaring in Tara’s general direction. Rolling her eyes as Tara carried Abel around. Everything Tara Knowles did annoyed my mom. That much hadn’t changed at all.

“In his defense, mom, she’s kind of his old lady.” I pointed out quietly. Taking a sip of the pink lemonade she’d pushed in my direction.

My mom shrugged, grumbling under her breath. Probably something to the effect of she wouldn’t be if my mom had her way about it. I sat down next to her at the picnic table and she peeked in the sling I had Emma strapped into. “Hey sweetie.” she cooed.

Emma grinned up at her, sleepy eyed. After a few seconds, my mom spoke up.

“Speaking of old ladies… If you’re wondering. Juice doesn’t have one.”

“Mom, I.. we both know I ruined everything there when I left.” I sighed, shaking my head no. Trying to cut whatever crazy idea she was formulating out before it took hold. Somehow I got the feeling that it was too late for that. My mom, being the meddling mom she’s known to be at times, she was going to try to shove me right through the ‘healing process’ over the end of my last breakup.

My mom shrugged, shaking her head. Quick to protest, “You never know.”

I didn’t say anything. For one thing, I was trying to get my head around my mom seeming to push me towards Juice. I hadn’t really thought she liked him all that much back then. I know Clay didn’t particularly care for him.

XXX

Juice wasn’t listening to a word Chibs said. Chibs caught sight of the direction he was staring in and he chuckled to himself, nudging Juice in the side, nodding in Hazelynn’s direction. “Go over n’ try t’ talk.”

Juice shook his head. “Every time I think about it, I remember that she’s the one who thought she was too good for any of this and left. Without a good bye. What’s done is done. I wasn’t good enough for her then, why do I wanna be good enough for her now, huh?”

“Maybe it wasn’t that at all.” Chibs butted in. Grumbling as he took a drag of his cigarette. The kid wasn’t listening. He wasn’t stopping to think about everything that unfolded prior to Hazelynn’s decision to leave. Chibs went quiet. He knew better than to try reasoning with the kid. Juice was a hard headed little shit.

“Look at me, Chibs. We both know it was.” Juice insisted, shaking his head sadly. “I tried to be good enough man.. I just fuckin wasn’t.”

Chibs brushed off the statement, putting it down to Juice’s recent downward mood swing and tension. The guy had been down about a lot lately. Like he had a million things on his mind. If Chibs ever tried to bring it up, Juice dismissed it. Stating he didn’t want to talk about it.

Juice bit his lip. Staring at Hazelynn. Sighing as he stubbed out the cigarette he’d been smoking. Every part of him was still drawn to her. If he could, he’d go over. He’d tell her that he still loved her, he’d never stopped.

But there was so much going on right now.

The biggest part of it being the secret he was being forced to keep. Just the thought of the betrayal he was currently being forced to carry out against men he thought of as brothers was enough to have him tensing up all over again. Any second, they’d figure out it was him. None of the guys in Samcro were that stupid. Even the ones who acted like they were.

Sooner or later, everything would come out.

And Juice Ortiz was living with the weight of that dread and his secrets and decision every single day.

,, I just have to stay away. Keepin her at arms length is keepin her safe.” the solemn thought weighed heavily and he tore his eyes off of her.

Somehow, he got the feeling that would be easier said than done.

[stimmedtavi]

vibrates

spoilers for season nine nd stuff below the cut ---------------------

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT?? HELLO???? currently losing my fucking mind i'm literally. HHhhHHhHHhhHHhhhhHh HELLO!?!?!?!?!!?! HELLO!?!?!?!?!?! i'm going fucking NUTS rn holy shit. abt to categorize all of this bcs OHHH MY GOOODDDDD im going nuts rn.

actual gameplay stuff (guns, maps etc) HHH HVHSHV HVHAHV WORLDS EDGE MY BELOVED.... also HELLO OLYMPUS W THE NEW SKY?? i'm so here for it on GOD i literally love the way it looks sm. the infected beat is hitting kinda weird idk how i feel abt that but im excited for the lore that comes with it. aLSO PK ON THE GROUND HELP HELP HELP OH MY GOD. i joined in season 4 and got so used to keeping the pk around w me and then BOOM they took my baby away from me i was so sad ab it bUT NOW SHES BACK WAHHH </3 i'm so happy. i feel like this season is going to be really really nostalgic for me bcs worlds edge nd pk are like.. tiny wraith portals to the past in my mind and it's so nuts. also the boeck bow or however u spell it looks really cool but i also Fear it Deeply bcs it looks very powerful. it can also have multiple hop ups which is fucking nutso?? like hello:?? thats a little scary imo but i'm excited to see it in use!!! also the triple take in care package is lowkey making me sad asf bcs i was semi hoping devotion goes back in since i Hate That Bitch but ehhh i agree semi that triple take belongs there. its kind of a bitchy gun to go up against anyways. this season and its 'meta' or whatever gamer ppl say is gna smack some ass on god.. character stuff (skins, emotes nd valk ofc) CATBOY OCTANE im so ready im so ready omg. i hope crypto gets something lowkey bcs i think he deserves it since i Love him and Care about him. i hope they start feeding lots of legends good stuff this season bcs we need to be dripped tf out for season 10. i will give respawn my soul if it is taken for payment. i also hope we get more dive emotes and perhaps there will be unlockable ground emotes? not sure ab that one since they are so new but im hype af for battlepass this season :D im really really excited for the ground emotes. like i cant even explain how excited i am. i saw the video of them and i genuinely just started yelling at my screen it was pathetic to watch.. anyways the way octane moves and stims and stuff?? since i always play him i never see his passive movements but i just feel so happy watching him stim and stuff bcs im the exact same way with my hands and full body stims. it makes me feel a lot more comfortable with the way i am and how i work. i feel like it's ok to stim nd stuff and thats how it should be!! i feel really happy rn pls vsjnv im trying so hard to sound normal. alos cryptos?? ground emotes?? im literally shaking and crying. the rare one is really cute dont get me wrong but the one where he uses his drone as a sword literally has me in tears. it's so nice looking and we don't get to see crypto's more playful side very often and then boom... he's using hack as a sword and i am in tears on my bedroom floor. his LEGENDARY THOUGH??? literally shook me to my core i was like oh my god oh m ym g od o??!?!?!?/ crypto is a huge romantic cc for me and i use crypto gamer bf funny haha as a joke quite often but like ?? he looks?? so cute?? like he finally looks like he's more comfortable in his skin. i find a lot of the time he seems to be full of discomfort and just very paranoid but in these emotes we see a softer side of him and it makes me really happy. i just can't stop thinking about these ground emotes man.. they mean so much to me. the other ones are v cool too ofc but i wont go into all of them since theres not enough time for me to discuss that lmivnjsdnv. okokok now VALK!! i'm excited to play in squads w her!! i think she and tav would be really good friends and i love her abilities (even tho i kinda think her passive is a bit op) but she seems really fun! i'm excited to try out using her !! general excitement i'm just all around hype for this season. i cant remember the last time i was this excited for a new season... it was probably season 5 tbh. olympus had me excited dont get me wrong but i really havent felt like theres been enough changes in other seasons to get me all riled up like this. so much is being added in (i didnt even cover arenas) and i'm super duper excited to wait 6 hours for the download file to

copy onto my ps4 <3 anaywyas im gna shut up now this is long

[gingyboo]

Mirror Mirror

A/N: Again many thanks to @booglebug

Description- Soulmates existed. People knew that much. Soulmates were rare, a handful in each generation, an unexplainable phenomenon that formed a bond closer than blood and more sacred than marriage.

Bucky finds his soulmate when he needs her most. Little does he know how much she needs him too.

(Soulmate au that slots pretty much in to the MCU but with soulmates. Set after TFATWS.)

Pairing- Bucky Barnes x OFC

Warnings- Mentions of violence and guns, but its mostly fluff, drama and angst.

This is a multi chaptered fic.

Please like, comment, reblog!

prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9

--------------------------------------------------

Chapter 10

It was surprisingly simple tracking down the dark-haired man. Redwing managed to find CCTV footage showing the man entering and exiting the same river side apartment. Bucky and Sam had been hauled up monitoring the surveillance from a cheap B&B on the out skirts of the city for the past two days. Bucky lay reclined on his twin bed, gently tossing his knife in the air and catching it. He flipped the compact mirror open and shut. He’d spoken to Nancy earlier, she’d explained a theory Shuri had over the depth of their soulmate bond and how she’d managed to both summon and call off the Winter Solider. It made him feel uneasy, that without meaning to Nancy had managed to bring him out, if she did it once she might do it again.

Sam entered the room and sitting on the edge of the adjacent bed. He pulled the suitcase out from under it.

“It’s go time co-worker, he just left.” Sam looked over at him, he pulled out the Captain America suit. He’d been tailing the man himself, found he visited a local restaurant in the evenings. More CCTV footage found this to be a nightly occurrence. Therefore, they’d hatched a plan. “you good for this?” Sam called over to Bucky. He forced himself out of his reclined position, rubbing a hand over his face and through his hair.

“Yeah, let’s do this.” His attempt at enthusiasm was poor, he was tired, he hadn’t slept well since that night and he could feel the tiredness in his bones.

“Focus Buck, remember who we’re doing this for.” Bucky shot him an exasperated smile. “There he is, come on.”

They made their way through Amsterdam silently, hugging the shadows, as swamis of cyclists made their way through the early evening traffic. The apartment was in an old building with an ornate terrace. On the front there was a concierge, so Sam and Bucky made their way up to the balcony, Bucky slipped the lock on the door with his knife and they made their way inside. It was a modest size apartment, with modern furnishings and a plethora of screens and files adorning a large desk in the corner. Bucky made his way through the rooms, gun drawn, there was a small hallway off which the living room they’d entered through branched. There was also a small bathroom, a kitchenette and a bedroom with only a covered mattress on the floor. Bucky stared at the mattress for a moment, it reminded him of Bucharest. Deciding they were alone he circled back to the living room. Sam was running his hands across the files on the desk.

“What’s he got there?” Bucky asked over his shoulder.

“If you let me finish reading, I’ll let you know.” Sam held up a hand concentrating. Bucky clenched his jaw impatiently. A minute later he spoke again, “it’s all in here,” he held up one of the files. “Transcripts of some sort, ‘Cartwright will join us if we take the girl.’ This must have been the communication Katima and her team intercepted.” Bucky looked in the file he showed him, his stomach twisted, there was a picture of Nancy, she looked younger, slightly softer round the edges, her hair shorter but her smile just a stunning. She stood by her father’s side, her brother, in full uniform, stood tall next to her mother. Larissa Cartwright was tall like her children, with darker hair and long manicured fingernails. “There’s more, conversations describing her movements and activities. Timings for Swan Lake at the royal opera house.” Bucky felt rage burning inside him, anger boiling in his head. He breathed deeply, Sam noticed his shaking breath. “It’s alright, we’ll bring him in, he won’t get to her.”

“I swear to god, any of them lay a finger on her, I don’t think I’ll be responsible for my actions.” A voice inside him roared in agreement, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I swear to god, any of them lay a finger on her, I don’t think I’ll be responsible for my actions.” A voice inside him roared in agreement, sending a shiver down his spine.

Shortly after their search of the files the front door clicked. Bucky spun round instantly, finger pressed to his lips and gun drawn again. Sam raised his eyebrows at him, exasperated. The light came on before the man entered the room, as he did Bucky pinned him straight against the wall.

“Hello again.” Bucky said increasing his pressure on the man’s neck with his vibranium arm. Up close the man looked younger and smaller. He was wearing a long black trench coat, his skin once again seemed too high a contrast against his almost black hair. His jaw was clenched tight and he looked defiantly up at Bucky.

“Back off you bastard!” He spat back in Bucky’s face, pushing against him to no avail. Bucky kicked out the back of his knees and the man fell at his feet.

“Who are you?” Bucky demanded. He grabbed the file from Sam shoving it under the man’s nose. “What do you want with Martin Cartwright?”

———————————————————————————————

“Your brother was a very private person.” Shuri noted, scrolling through the feed on her screen, “No social media what so ever, no pictures of him on any of his friend’s pages no dating apps either.” Shuri looked quite disappointed.

“That kind of stuff just wasn’t important to him, and Kit didn’t really have any friends towards the end.” Nancy admitted. “He was quite obsessed with becoming the perfect solider, he cut everyone out, including me.” Nancy remembered the change well, his every breath was for queen and country, he came back only for fleeting visits, Nancy never saw him out of his naval uniform. Her and Shuri had been looking for days for any record of his final mission, though they had found nothing yet, in fact they had found no records for him after he moved units. They found no record of any unit like that which Kit had described. Shuri had moved onto scanning the wider web. They were yet to find anything there either.

“Did he ever mention anyone he worked with at this training unit?” The princess asked. Nancy wracked her brains, Kit had barely spoken to her in those last few months. One of her biggest regrets was not pushing him harder, not having something to remember as the last thing they’d spoken of.

“No, sorry I can’t be more helpful.”

“It’s alright, it’s just very suspicious. There’s nothing here, it’s like he stopped existing the moment he joined this unit.” Shuri suggested.

“What if we looked for others, umm, similarly qualified individuals, who might have been recruited to this unit, if Kit’s record at that point is missing maybe his isn’t the only one. If there were others maybe they weren’t so secretive.”

“Good thinking, I’m on it.” She started typing frantically, records appearing and disappearing on the screen. “This program should find records with those similarities.” They both watched the screen with bated breath.

The search took a couple of hours, Shuri suggested Nancy train some more whilst they waited. She tended to like Nancy to train multiple times a day, always being monitored. Sometimes Nancy would catch her frowning at the statistics on her tablet.

“I’ve had a new theory.” She said this time after a few minutes watching Nancy running on the treadmill.

“Yeah, tell me it doesn’t involve more running.” Nancy said, catching her breath as she walked over to Shuri. In her hand she held out a set of wireless headphones.

“I thought we’d explore the subconscious theory, I think your capabilities might lie there.”

“Why are you so sure I have these capabilities?”

“You might not see it but there are things I’ve seen that would suggest you’re not so ordinary.” She waved away any further comment from Nancy and lead her towards the targets. “I want you to relax, listen to the music, and then, when you get the signal, throw the knife.” Nancy looked at her like she was crazy but Shuri only grinned, nodding enthusiastically. The music started in her ear and Nancy instinctively tensed up, Tchaikovsky, the same music from that night at the ballet. Nancy tried to relax, she breathed deeply closing her eyes. She stood there for many minutes, her breathing settled, and she twirled the blade lightly across her knuckles. She stretched her neck out from side to side. As the music built to its climax a loud klaxon sounded. Nancy’s hand shot out on instinct. The knife spun through the air and landed on the target, imbedded to the hilt, dead centre. Nancy’s head snapped round to Shuri who was clapping her hands.

“That was a fluke.” Nancy insisted.

“No, no it wasn’t, look.” She turned her tablet around, “See the rise in the subconscious, then when the klaxon sounded how it fell after. The subconscious is most active in dreaming or when relaxed. When you felt threatened, you threw the knife, no active thought.” They tested it again, first throwing knives, 5/5 hit the exact same spot. They also tested her running, much to her displeasure. With the music playing she reached higher speeds then ever before, Shuri mapped the progress on her tablet.

“But that doesn’t explain what happened with Bucky.” Nancy said after removing the headphones. Experiments over for the day, her and Shuri made their way back to the lab.

“You were asleep weren’t you, possibly dreaming, if you felt threatened perhaps your mind reached for the only weapon at your disposal.”

“And that was Bucky” Nancy froze for a minute, “I was dreaming, I was dreaming of Kit, I kept losing him.”

“You were distressed, the Winter Solider sensed that and reached through Bucky to stop the threat.” Shuri kept explaining, light building in her eyes from realisation as she pieced together the new information.

“Oh Bucky,” she croaked out. He thought he’d tried to kill her, he’d really been trying to save her, and worse because her head had asked him two. He would always try to protect her but if she had abilities like his, if she could control them, utilise them, then maybe she could defend herself. Maybe she could be more than just a socialite. Images formed in her head, her and Bucky fighting side by side. It wasn’t an unpleasant thought. A chance, a gift of sorts from destiny. She could defend the world, just like Bucky and Sam.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a notification on Shuri’s tablet. Match found. They looked between each other before approaching the large monitor.

The record was displayed on the screen.

Duncan Everett

Nancy didn’t recognise the name, but she knew the face. It was the dark-haired man.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Ch4: Hit and Run Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: There’s another body, and it’s another familiar face. Some bitching and arguing and an accident. SHOCK!!!

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Contains flash back which alludes to a sexual assault. Nothing graphic but avoid if this is a trigger.

Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (she still hates him…)

Song for Episode:  Demons At The Door by Sleeping Wolf

A/N: This entire series contains dark humour (CSI + Brooklyn 99=CSI Steeb) Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes. You don’t need to have read the SSB series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this off from so somethings might puzzle a few of you if you ain’t, but feel free to ask.

Also, our knowledge of American Policing and Brooklyn is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!

As always we live for re-blogs and comments  

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List 

Main Masterlist 

"Of all the places in the world...." Steve groaned as they approached the murder scene.

It was a late July evening and the cool breeze that blew at the Ice Rink at 8 p.m. wasn't a good match for his short sleeved navy blue polo shirt. He didn’t like ice, either. But that was a whole different story. He shrugged on his denim jacket as he walked, giving a slight shiver.

"Hey, it's me who has issues with winter sports, not you. You love ice, Capsicle." Bucky said laughing at his own lame pun.

"Jerk" was the only thing Steve bothered to say to his friend.

They waved at Thor who, as per usual, was directing the police operative. The man was more rushed this time as the new body had appeared in a more popular with tourists spot at a busier time of the evening too.

The area had been secured but people still lingered in the area, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening and, if they were lucky enough, of the bulk under the sheet before they put it in a body bag.

Steve saw a pair of journalists trying to bargain some information out of the police officers who were trying to keep the curious onlookers at bay. He had seen them around other crime scenes and at a few press conferences he had attended over the last couple of years. It was a matter of seconds when another two or three more turned up.

As they approached the scene, they saw that Sam had arrived and was discussing some sort of procedure with Bruce who was crouched down by the body. Katie was busy inspecting the surroundings oblivious to the two men behind her and gave a start when Steve and Bucky greeted her.

"Hey" she said catching her breath and placing a hand on her chest. "You startled me."

"Sorry" Steve smiled. "How are you holding?"

She didn’t return his smile, instead she just gave a shrug.

"Reinforcements are here" Bucky said puffing his chest.

"God bless America" Katie scoffed. "Well, pretty much same crime scene only this one is frostier."

"You can say that again." muttered Bucky. Katie glared at him and ignoring his jab regarding the tension between her and Steve and continued her report on the scene.

"No bullet wound, so no casings. This is a promenade so no vehicle tracks, I was inspecting the area for footprints but there are no wet marks so the attacker wasn't on the ice. We need to see what Sam says about the body, but I presume from the lack of evidence of a vehicle, plus the fact it would be pretty hard to drive here anyway at this time of day without being seen, that the victim was attacked where he's lying, by the bench that faces the ice rink."

"Have you talked to the boys that found it?" Steve asked Katie while looking around searching for the kids who had spotted the body.

“Him.” she replied, not looking up

"It's a male?" Bucky asked Katie.

"Yes, the boys reported the body of a man who seemed to be dead by one of the benches in front of the rink." Katie said. "Well, according to Thor their exact words were “There's a dude here, he got smoked.”  Yeah, quite the literary talent." she added when Bucky chuckled at the boys’ use of slang. "Anyway, a police officer is with them, we’re waiting for their parents to show up and then we can drive them to the station to take their statements."

"Ok. Let's see what Sam and Bruce got." Steve said as he began to walk towards the scene, followed by Bucky and Katie who was now grabbing a mint from the packet that Bucky was holding out for her.

"Do we know anything about the victim?" Steve asked turning her head to Katie and then turned again to greet Sam.

"Nope. Not yet. Sam only told me there was no bullet wound, only what seemed...." Steve frowned and turned to ask Katie why she had stopped talking when he saw she had paused in her tracks and stood there frozen looking down at the body.

"Katie?" Bucky who had also stopped walking asked a worried look on his face.

She didn’t reply, merely stood there her eyes wide, a look of utter shock on her face.

"She's shaken. She's not hearing you." Steve told Bucky as he moved towards Katie, recognising the signs instantly. He’d seen it often enough "Can you please take the reins, while I... umm..?"

"Sure, pal. I've got this." he said before Steve could finish the question and turned to Sam and Bruce whose worried looks were focused now on the three of them rather than on the dead body on the floor.

"Hey. Are you ok? Katie? Look at me." Steve said quietly holding Katie's face between his hands.

She seemingly reacted to the human contact and the soft voice speaking to her. Her eyes fell on the ones before her and Steve saw those green orbs staring at his, struggling to focus, and once she did  she flinched from his touch and composed herself.

Steve swallowed hard and tried to hide his wounded pride as much as possible.

"Come here." he said as he took her arm gently and guided her to the spot where their cars were parked.

"Need anything? Water?" Steve offered patiently giving her time to adjust to reality.

"No, I'm fine thanks." she said and fell silent again looking past him towards the bulk on the ground beside the bench.

"Are you gonna tell me what that was about?" Steve asked tentatively.

Katie stood now leaning back against the left door of her car as Steve waiting patiently for an answer which he honestly wasn't sure he was going to get given how things were between the two of them. His fists clenched inside the pockets of his denim jacket fighting the urge to reach for Katie to comfort her but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead, he watched her carefully as she moved her eyes frantically between the crime scene and him, and closing them she whispered "I know him."

"You knew the victim?" he asked frowning.

She nodded and inhaled deeply before opening her eyes again and saying "Sitwell, Jasper Sitwell."

Steve looked at her intently trying to get more information from her, he couldn't recall where had he heard that name but it did sound familiar.

"Sitwell..." he repeated as if uttering that surname again would magically bring a memory back. "Katie, I don't..."

"Steve" she said her eyes on his "remember what happened with Rumlow?"

"Yes." he said the word nearly getting stuck in his throat. Now he was beginning to get worried.

"Sitwell was Rumlow's alibi when Peralta and I were digging into him. We had to drop the case because that bloodsucker stated they were together when it all happened." she rubbed her temples and laced a strand of hair behind her ear before continuing "Never believed him. We were forced to drop it. And then..." she choked on her words.

"Shhhh" Steve said gently reaching for her to calm her with a hug. But she raised her palms stopping him on the spot and he retreated hurt showing in his eyes as it was the second time in less than 5 minutes that she had rejected his touch.

"I'm fine." She said biting her lower lip and looking down to the ground "Or I will be... gotta get out of here Steve" she added before moving around the front part of her car.

"Are you sure you can drive?" Steve asked before she reached the driver's door. "Want me to take you?"

"No." she said too fast and sharp for Steve liking

"Let me call Tony... or Bucky could?" he tried again, worried she would be too upset to focus on the road.

"I'm fine, Steve. Just need a hot bath and to get some sleep." she said taking the car keys out of her jacket right pocket.

"Ok, well… be careful.” She nodded and went to open her door before Steve suddenly remembered something.

“Wait…” he said, and she turned to look at him "I've got something for you.”

He ran towards his car while Katie stood there by the open door of hers waiting for him with a frown.

"Here! My ma gave me this for you." he said handing her the slice of apple pie Mrs Rogers had sent with him.

"Does she know...?" she said taking the foil wrapped pie he was handing her, looking down at it as he handed it over.

"That you're back? Yes, told her earlier." Steve nodded pursing his lips at the memory of her mother's advice.

"Tell her thanks and I'll drop by when I can." she said smiling to him for the first time since she came back from DC.

Steve nodded and smiled back at her as she closed the door and started the car. He leant over the driver's window and said "Drive safe." before she pulled away. He sighed, hands on his hips, his never wavering gaze on the taillights of the blue Honda Civic as it drove away.

"What was that about?" Steve turned around to see a concerned Bucky.

"The victim was.... ummm.... Let's say he was an old acquaintance. Long story. Tell you about it later." Steve said and gestured to the crime scene before asking Bucky.

"Same scene?"

"Yeah, pretty much. This time there's apparently increased violence though. Two blows." Bucky answered.

"Cereal?"

"Yes. I would say it was Jump Start this time. God I hate that shitty generic brand stuff." Bucky scoffed while unlocking his phone.

Steve raised an eyebrow and was about to ask him what was the deal with him and cereals, but honestly he had too many things in his mind at the moment and Bucky's one of many quirks was the last thing in the list right now.

"Ok, get in the car. I sent Katie home, so it's you and me taking the statements of those kids tonight." Steve said walking to the car and opening the driver's door.

"You sent her home and she did as you told without putting up a fight? That's a first." Bucky grinned as he entered the car and sat on the passenger seat.

Steve only groaned and started the car and shook his head at the sight of Bucky devouring his slice of pie.

During the drive back to the station Steve filled Bucky in on everything. And by doing so he found himself catapulted back 5 years previously to one of the NYPD Charity Balls.

Steve could see Katie was excited for this one, it was her first formal event since moving from Uniform into the Detective branch little over 7 months previously after years of hard work on her part to get there. She was determined to make a name for herself, prove to people she wasn’t just Commander Howard Stark’s daughter. Of course Ward had let her down last minute, as per usual, but she wasn’t letting that dampen her spirits. He picked her up, and had to smile as she practically skipped down to his car, her deep red, knee length dress flared slightly out from her hips and she had a soft black shawl draped over her shoulders. She climbed into the passenger seat and gave his cheek a quick peck as he told her she looked stunning, as always. She beamed and then the car filled with her happy chatter, about how she was looking forward to letting her hair down, especially after the case that she had been working for weeks had collapsed.

Steve, as always, kept an eye on her all night, without being overbearing. If she wanted to get drunk to the point of puking then that was her prerogative, he’d simply be there to mop up just like he had done several times before. But then he was caught in a conversation with Thor, Terry Jefferson and Barton about the recent Super Bowl and as such he hadn’t seen her for a lost sight of her for a while. When he looked up to find her, as it was his round, he realised she was nowhere to be seen. After asking Natasha where she was, the red head had frowned saying she hadn’t seen her for a while either, so Steve had headed off to see if he could find out where she was.

And he found her.

“Katie…what the hell?” Steve looked at her as she was stood near the bathroom. She was pressed hard against the wall, almost like she was trying to sink into it. Her breathing was ragged and there were tears streaking her face and he noticed she was shaking from head to toe “Jesus Sweetheart what’s…” “I just...Stevie…I…” She was stumbling over her words as turned to him and practically threw herself into his arms. He frowned and pulled her close, rubbing her back softly as she trembled against him.

“You’re scaring me honey.” he said softly. He’d never seen her like this in the entire 5 years they had been friends. “What…”

“He…er…he was waiting and…”

“Ok, slow down…” he said gently, his hands sliding to her face. “Who?”

“Rumlow…”

Steve took a deep breath through his nose as he felt the nerve in his jaw twitch. “What did he do?”

“He….he was rambling on about the case and….”

“Katie…” he looked at her, his voice calm and commanding “Tell me, what did he do?”

“He said that if I told anyone no one would believe me anyway because of the rape case being dropped and…”

Steve felt cold all over as he looked at her. His thumbs gently skated over her cheek bones as she took a deep breath “Did he touch you? Because if he did I swear to God…”

“He put his hand up my skirt and…” “Mother fucker…” Steve said, one of his hands taking through his hair, the other slamming against the wall causing Katie to flinch “Where did he go?”

“I don’t know….”

With that he wheeled round, ignoring her calls and stormed towards the main door of the bar, yanking it open.

“Hey Rogers…” Peralta looked at him “You seen Katie? The boss is just about to…” “Where’s Rumlow?” Steve demanded, cutting him off.

Peralta’s face darkened “He just left…bastard had a nerve showing up anyway, I can’t believe…”

Steve didn’t wait to hear the rest, the red mist had descended and he had only one thing in mind. That fucking cunt should be banged up in a cell from what he had heard. Apparently he had a cast iron alibi from the rape, but both Katie and Peralta were 100% convinced he had done it. But the case had been dropped as the victim had decided not pursue and as such he was still wandering around the 99 free to do what he wanted.

And he’d just assaulted one of the most important people in Steve’s life.

He ran out of the bar and spotted Rumlow as he headed towards his car. Picking up a sprint, at the sound of his feet pounding on the tarmac, Rumlow turned round and Steve sent a punch straight into the bastards face, sending him sprawling over the bonnet of his car. Steve dragged him up off the bonnet with one hand fisting in the front of his shirt before delivering another punch again, feeling his nose crunch under his fist as the man dropped to the floor. He was just winding up to boot him hard in the ribs when someone grabbed him from behind.

“Cap…” He heard Barton speak, but Steve shrugged him off easily. He went to lead with his foot again, the only thing on his mind was beating the piece of shit until he couldn’t stand up, but when someone else grabbed him, the grip was much stronger, and he was dragged back by both arms.

“Rogers, leave it…come on man…” It was Terry Jefferson.

“Son of a bitch!” Steve yelled, attempting to work his way out of Terry’s grip but to no avail.

“Stevie…” another voice, this one quieter cut through the fog and he took a deep breath as Katie appeared in front of him, both hands on his chest “Stop…”

His chest heaving he took a deep breath and looked down at her as Rumlow gave a groan from the floor behind her. Clint bent down to see to him and Steve held his hands up in surrender. Terry let go and Steve looked at Katie, his hands once more holding her face, the knuckles of his right tender from the punches he had landed.

“You alright?” he asked softly and she nodded. Steve drew himself up and turned to Terry “He assaulted her…”

“What?” Terry frowned, and looked down to Rumlow. Upon hearing Steve’s words, Clint had turned to look up at them and Natasha moved forward, her hand falling to Katie’s shoulder. Katie gave a small nod, and took a deep breath as Natasha looked at her and Steve stepped away slightly, and noticing Katie was still shaking he shrugged off his jacket and dropped it lightly over her shoulders before he heard Terry barking instructions to Peralta to get a unit down to the bar.

Rumlow was now on his feet, and in a second Clint had his arm up his back, and had shoved him down on the bonnet of the car, Rumlow giving a yell.

“Move again and I’ll break it…” he snarled, giving it a harsh jerk.

“He attacked me…”

“Did he?” Peralta asked, his phone clutched to his ear as he looked around, “I didn’t see anything…”

“Me neither…” Terry spoke.

“Yeah, hi, this is Detective Jake Peralta, I need a unit…” Peralta spoke, walking a little way away from the group as Rumlow gave another yell as Clint yanked on his arm again

“Looks like you’re mistaken shit bag.”

“Doll…” Steve turned to Katie again, who was now leaning her head against Natasha’s shoulder clutching his leather jacket around her as the red head’s arm pulled her in. She looked up at him, her green eyes still sporting that petrified look. “You up to giving a statement?”

She glanced at him, then to Rumlow, and then drew herself tall “Yeah, he’s not getting away with it a second time.” “Only he did.” Steve spat out as he swung the car into the station parking lot “The Prosecution advised Katie that it would simply be her word against his. Rumlow was sticking to his story, saying Katie had led him outside on purpose and then got cold feet. And the previous accusation couldn’t be used as the previous victim had dropped all charges…” “What previous accusation?” Bucky asked.

“Rape.” Steve sighed “The victim saw Rumlow at the station and her reaction basically led Katie and Peralta to believe it was him. But before they could go any further, he had a cast iron alibi…and that was Sitwell, the guy we just saw with his head caved in and a mouth full of cereal”

“Fuck…” Bucky mumbled.

“Katie basically went through weeks of hell to in the end drop her case, which killed her. And her fucker of a boyfriend wasn’t much of a support either, simply telling her that she shouldn’t wear such “tight or revealing clothing” for fear of egging men on.” “Are you for real?” Bucky frowned.

“Yup. Trust me, it took everything I had not to kick the crap out of him for that.” Steve sighed, “Still, being Howard’s daughter had some perks. He went in all guns blazing when he learned about what happened and kicked up an absolute storm, threatening to go to the press and everything.  Pierce, in the end, instructed Rumlow to “resign”. Which is another thing that sticks in my throat. He should have been fired.”

“Instead he got to leave with the full benefits of a pension.” Bucky shook his head.

“Yeah, still, it meant he was away from Katie. Which was something she was thankful for.”

Bucky was silent for a moment as Steve cut the engine and ran his hand over his face. “You think his murder could be connected to the dropped rape case?”

Steve shrugged “I dunno. It could just be a coincidence but…” “I don’t believe in coincidences.” Bucky shook his head “Not when it comes to stuff like this.” “Me neither.” Steve said, undoing his belt. “Let’s get these statements taken.” “Aye, aye Captain.” Bucky said, saluting as he followed his friend out of the car.

*****

It was way past eleven the next morning when Bucky entered the kitchen of the station. He and Steve had been working late the previous night, taking statements and going over the case files again and again. The rest of the team had been working on other minor cases or doing paperwork waiting for them to arrive for briefing and were now taking a coffee break.

"Morning, Barnes." greeted Clint who was perched on the kitchen counter. "Fancy some coffee?"

"Yes, please. You really remind me of my ma's parakeet, always perched onto something." he said taking the coffee pot Clint was holding out for him as he opened one of the cupboards to get a mug.

"Tweet, tweet." Clint retorted and Natasha, who was filing her nails, scoffed.

Bucky spotted Katie engrossed on some files that were scattered over the kitchen table while sipping from her coffee mug and moved closer to her and leant over her.

"How you holding?" he whispered placing a kiss on her head.

She looked up at him and smiled softly for an only answer.

"Good." he whispered again and turned to the others to ask "Is there anything worth eating around here?"

"Here, have one." Wanda, who had been watching his interaction with Katie with a broad smile, offered him a box of doughnuts. But she slapped his hand when he was about to take a particular one.

"Not that one. Those are Steve's favourites!" she cried.

"Sorry." he said with a sarcastic tone as he raised an eyebrow at Clint and Natasha who were smiling at him knowingly. "God forgive me if I ate your Captain’s food." he continued while Wanda pulled a face.

It was at that moment that Katie sat up and gathered all her papers to head for her desk but she bumped into Thor at the kitchen's door.

"Greetings, little Stark" Thor said joyfully.

"Morning" she said flatly before heading out. Thor shrugged and moved to one of the cupboards.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked the others while rummaging inside the cupboard "Have we run out of pop tarts?" he groaned turning around.

"Take a doughnut, and watch your hand, picking one is like playing Russian roulette." Clint quipped and Wanda stuck her tongue out at him.

"She's been particularly snarky all morning." Natasha deadpanned looking intently at Bucky who sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Bitchy." Wanda added and Bucky shot a glare at her.

He was going to say something, not too compromising but enough to get them to leave her alone, when Steve appeared at the kitchen door and called "Everyone, briefing in five." before leaving again.

"Gotta go" Wanda said and before stepping outside the door she turned and added "Are we meeting for lunch?"

"Yes. Diner on the corner, just after briefing!" Natasha yelled for her to hear.

Steve was already sat in the briefing room checking his phone when Wanda came in and placed a coffee mug and a plate with two doughnuts with red, white and blue sprinkles on the table in front of him.

"Thanks" he said "Where is everyone? I told them five minutes."

"They're coming. Well, everyone bar Katie, I don't know where she is." she shrugged.

Steve raised her head to look at her and asked "What do you mean you don't know where she is?"

"She left the kitchen without bothering to look us in the face. Ask Barnes, they seem very close." and as she leant over his ear she whispered "I think they were having a moment back there."

Steve stiffened on his seat and gave an angry bite to one of the doughnuts avoiding saying something he could regret later on. He hadn't failed to notice how close the pair of detectives had become over the last week and it was something that was starting to piss him off. Would Bucky....? No, he wouldn't... He tried to shake those thoughts from his mind and was snapped back into reality by the voices of his team plus Bruce entering the briefing room.

"All right, let's start." Steve said when everyone had taken their seats, noticing Katie sliding in and taking up a seat further down the table. "Sam called. He's currently doing the second victim's autopsy and Tony is out of town working in another case, so Bruce here will do the honours." he said gesturing to the scientist.

Bruce cleared his throat and in a nervous tick he took off his glasses before speaking, "Well, regarding the first victim, we have concluded that the murder weapon could be a round, blunt hammer…"

"A chasing hammer." Thor nodded and everyone turned to look at him, questioningly. "What? I like hammers." he shrugged. "I was actually the hammer throwing champion in the school athletics team."

There was a pause everyone taking in what Thor had just revealed. Then Katie spoke turning to Bruce "But it wasn't a frenzied attack? A single blow?"

"Yeah, that is unlike the second victim, but we'll come to that later." Bruce confirmed.

Steve saw Katie shiver at the mention of the second victim and before he could even register what he was doing he asked her if she was ok to which she only nodded not taking her eyes from the table. He looked directly at Bruce, gesturing for him to continue, not able to deal with the glances he was sure Clint, Natasha and Wanda were sharing at his question to the sergeant.

"As you know we recovered some hairs from Ross trousers" Bruce resumed his report.

"Oh, well that's something." Bucky nodded. "A potential lead maybe?”

"Yeah, wouldn't bank on it." Bruce said "Initial tests show us it's not human."

"What do you mean it's not human?" Steve frowned.

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" Bruce stuttered looking at Steve "Exactly what I just said. That hair is not from a human being. And it's not from the more common domestic animals either like dogs, cats, rabbits, horses... So Peter's on with it now, as soon as we get something we'll let you know."

"Ok, thanks Bruce." Steve said while everyone was lost on their thoughts trying to decipher what kind of animal Ross had been around.

"As for the second victim, we have confirmed his identity." Bruce said chewing one of the arms of his glasses "His name is Jasper Sitwell."

And at the mention of that name Steve saw Katie close her eyes and couldn't help but ask her again.

"You sure you're ok, sweetheart?" he had blurted the words out before he could stop himself and her head shot up and she gave him a filthy look.

"Stop asking me if I'm ok for fuck sake, Steve!" she raised her voice angrily "And DON’T call me that! I'm not your sweetheart, never have been."

Steve clenched his jaw and for a second closed his eyes. If he could have smacked the back of his own head right there and then, he would have. That was on him. Still, he needed to react, despite the grudge Katie was holding against him, they were in a briefing meeting and he was the Captain, being talked to like that was out of order. He looked at Katie and opened his mouth to tell her off, when Bucky shot a quick glance at him and then turned to Katie grabbing her arm.

"Stark. You're off the line. We're not discussing personal matters here." Bucky told her before leaning and whispering to her "Even if he is an asshole."

Steve watched her soften a bit under Bucky's call and then saw a glimpse of a smile on her face when he had whispered something to her. But that smile had faded when she had spotted Wanda shaking her head gazing at Katie reproachfully. That's when he decided to step up, but was again cut off.

"What's your problem?" Katie glared at Wanda while Bucky sat back in his chair and raised his hands in a sign of surrender.

"Katie...stop it!" Natasha tried to intercede also shooting daggers at her.

"That's enough!" Steve spoke up, his voice loud as he cut across the briefing room. "Sergeant Stark, you have any problems with your superiors just issue a complaint form."

"I'll issue a form, I'll shove it up your fucking ass. Fuck this..." Katie yelled at him before she stood up and stormed out of the briefing room.

Bucky stood up fast as lightning and went for the door hurriedly after saying "I've got her, just continue with the briefing."

Steve stood there frozen deciding whether to call the meeting off or get it over with once and for all, when he heard Clint say to Natasha "You should have gone after her." and she shot him a deathly glare.

"What a ..." Wanda started to say.

"I said enough, Wanda." Steve raised his voice and heard Bruce groan and he couldn't blame him, after all the scientist didn't like people with anger management issues.

"Sorry Banner, you were saying..." he said pinching the bridge of his nose and gesturing for him to continue.

"Ummm yes..." Bruce said scanning his notes " that is, I was saying the victim is Jasper Sitwell. Preliminary visual inspection at the crime scene says it was two blows on the head this time. Cereal in mouth as well. So we'd say same MO but we'll give you more details after Sam has finished with him."

"Thanks Banner" Steve said to Bruce who nodded shyly.

"Barton, Romanoff, I want you to investigate Jasper Sitwell. Use all your spy tricks, the guy must be someone relatively important, Sam said yesterday the tie he was wearing was expensive."

"What a pity" Natasha drawled.

"Well, he was a suit and tie kind of guy. We'll find something Cap." Clint said and Steve rolled his eyes at the detective's use of nickname.

"All right, I'll call Rhodes, same course of action with the press." Steve said now looking at Wanda who nodded.

"Wait, why was Little Stark so pissed?" Thor asked out of the blue and everyone turned to look at him astonished.

"What, were you napping?" Steve said and sighed “OK. You're dismissed, I can feel a headache brewing." and stood up to head for his office, but before that he heard Natasha say not as quietly as she intended "I can feel a storm brewing." and Wanda sniggered.

***** Bucky caught up with Katie as she stormed out of the main office and into the corridor.

“Doll face, just...” She wheeled round at him and he held his hands up “Ok, my bad…”

“Leave me alone…” she said, her voice quieter “I’ve had enough.”

“I can tell.” Bucky said “You made that perfectly clear.”

Katie sighed and folded her arms, her tongue poking into her cheek.

“I’m not defending him but maybe, just maybe, Steve’s a little concerned about you.”

“He’s no right to be.” “Maybe not, but you two were friends for a long time before it went sideways.” “Before he sent it sideways…” “Whatever, the point I’m trying to make is that was a slip of the tongue, that’s all.” “I am sick and tired of this.” She said, looking at him. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the team being off with me.” “Well, you are kinda scary when you’re angry…and you always seem kinda angry so…” “And why do you think that is?” she asked “I didn’t ask for any of this Bucky… he was the one that pulled me back here I just…” “So, let’s just get the job done and then you can go back.” Bucky soothed. “Look, we’re going for lunch in a moment so this afternoon let’s just get our heads down and get our ideas up on the boards.” She frowned and then there was a look on her face as if she was understanding something. But what it was, he had no idea. Instead she shrugged and headed back into the office, ignoring everyone as she walked, in particular Wanda. Wanda followed her with her eyes, narrowing them slightly until she spotted Bucky watching. He gave her a look of his own and she scurried back to her desk.

“Right, lunch!” Thor clapped his hands. There were murmurs in the office and Bucky nodded, telling them to go ahead and he’d catch them up. He popped his head into Steve’s office.

“Punk, we’re going for lunch.” he said. Steve looked up “you coming?” “No I’m gonna go have half an hour in the gym.” Steve said. Bucky knew that was Steve’s way of working out some of his frustration so he didn’t argue.

“I’m assuming from the lack of a black eye you managed to calm Katie down.” Steve looked at him.

“In a fashion.” Bucky shrugged “I’ll feed her a double cheeseburger like you suggested, she’ll be fine. Just maybe stop with the pet names huh?”

Steve snorted “force of habit.” Bucky gave him a final nod and leaving his friend to it he headed after Natasha and caught the gang up as they walked the block or so down the road. They headed to a table in the corner and Bucky took a seat between Clint and Wanda, picking up the menu and giving it a glance. He looked up momentarily when Natasha spoke to the waitress who took their drinks order, saying she would come back and take the one for their food in a moment. They all began to discuss what they were having, Bucky deciding he would probably go for his usual, the Southern Fried Chicken sandwich. Putting the menu down he looked around the team, Natasha and Wanda leaning together pointing at something on the card before he realised they were one short.

“Hold up…” he frowned “Where’s Stark?”

At that Thor frowned and looked around, as if only just noticing she wasn’t there. Clint gave Natasha a look, one that clearly said ‘I told you so’ whilst Wanda looked down at her nails.

“Have you deliberately not invited her?” Bucky’s frown deepened as he began to realise what it was that Katie had understood before. She’d understood that she hadn’t been invited. 

Fuck.

“We’re just getting a little tired of her attitude.” Natasha sighed. “She was out of line at briefing before.”

“The way she speaks to Steve is disgusting. She’s being such a fucking bitch…” Wanda added. “Ok, that’s enough.” Bucky said sternly. “She’s got a lot going on. And Steve, well frankly, he isn’t innocent in all of this.”

“Oh please!” Wanda snorted “They fucked after a Christmas party and then she made a meal out of it, dramatically running away to DC…”

“That’s not…” Bucky sighed, shaking his head “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I’ll take mine to go. Not having her sitting alone in the office, it’s cruel and frankly I expect more from you.”

Natasha frowned “Do you know something we don’t Serge?” 

“Ask her…or Captain Goldenboy.” he sighed, standing up. He headed over to the counter, ignoring the hushed whispers that had struck up and ordered his own, and then after a pause added a few extra items. He sat by the counter, faffing about on his phone until about 20 minutes later it was ready. Grabbing the bags he headed back, still feeling slightly pissed at the behaviour of the unit.

He headed up the elevator and into the office, crossing towards his desk. Katie was sat at hers, pen between her teeth and he could see she had been crying.

“Hey…”

“Thought you had all gone for lunch…” she said looking up at him and he could tell she was trying to keep her tone casual.

“Decided on take out…” He waved the bag and spotting the logo she smiled, a genuine smile at him and it lit her pretty face up. “Cheeseburger, chilli fries and a vanilla shake?” he asked as he began to unpack the items.

“Thanks Bucky.” she said softly, taking her food from him. He smiled at her again before he took one of the subs he had bought through along with a bag of chips and a soda to Steve’s office, dropping it all on his desk. He was just leaving when Steve walked back into the room, almost bumping into him.

“Thought you were going for lunch?” Steve said, brushing his damp hair back with his right hand.

“I was…” Bucky said, before he gestured to the door. Steve shut it and turned back to his friend “Until I got there and found out they’d deliberately excluded Katie.”

“What?” Steve frowned “Why?” “Sick of her attitude…apparently” Bucky said and Steve sighed.

“So you bailed?” “Yeah, not having her sitting here alone.”

Steve took a deep breath and rubbed at his temple. He looked at Bucky, opened his mouth and then shut it again, shaking his head.

“Spit it out…” Bucky said, looking at him.

“I err, well, there’s nothing going on between you and her is there?” Steve asked, his eyes locking onto Bucky’s.

“What the fuck?” Bucky scowled, an angry flush spreading up his neck to his cheeks “Because I bailed on lunch as she wasn’t there? I did that because it’s fucking cruel…”

“It’s not just the lunch…” Steve cut him off, his eyes still focussed on his “Wanda said she thought you two were having a moment before and I’ve seen the pair of you…” “Man you really are as stupid as you look…” Bucky snorted. “She looked lost this morning, so yeah, I gave her a bit of a hug and a kiss on the head but fuck me Steve…even if I did like her that way do you really think I’d go there knowing your history? You’re by best friend, it’s an unwritten rule…”

There was a silence in the office and Steve sighed, hanging his head.

“Sorry man, I know. I just…”

“Just nothing, get your head out of your ass.” Bucky snorted. “You need to watch Wanda, Steve. She’s got a thing for you and I get the impression she instigated leaving Katie off of the lunch invite. She was being particularly nasty about her this morning too before briefing.”

Steve gave a groan and shook his head “That’s all I need…”

“And as you keep saying, Katie is vicious so you could end up with a full scale bitch fight on your hands.”

“Do you think I should talk to Wanda?”

“To be honest I’m not sure whether that will help.” Bucky shrugged “I’m just telling you to be aware. You say Katie is strong but…well, there’s only so much anyone can take. She’s been crying, I can tell.” He looked at Steve who bit his lip and glanced out through the blinds to where Katie was sat, eating her lunch.

“You brought her lunch back?” Steve looked at him.

“Yeah, is that ok or does it mean we’re fucking?”

“Alright, I said I was sorry…”

“Good, because I got you a Pastrami and rye, extra pickle. And there’s no way I want to be romantically involved with your punk ass so…”

Steve glanced at the bag and when he turned back to look at Bucky, the sergeant was surprised at the look on Steve’s face. Almost like he was about to burst into tears. “Thanks Buck.”

“It’s only a sandwich.”

“No I mean for looking after her.” Steve said, giving him a significant look.

“You’re welcome pal, what can I say? I like your girl.” Steve sighed “She’s not my girl…” “Yeah, yeah…” Bucky said, and with that he turned and left the office.

***** Steve looked up as there was a knock on his open door. Katie stepped in, file in her hand and she strode to his desk, dropping it down.

“Initial profile.” she said, nodding to it “It’s only a basic one at the moment but I’ll keep working on it. I’ve given a copy to Barnes as well and run him through my initial thoughts.”

“You wanna give me the basics?” Steve asked, leaning back in his chair, gesturing for her to take the one on the opposite side of the desk.

“Not really but you’re the boss.” she said, remaining stood up, arms folded “I think we’re looking for a male. The MO doesn’t fit with a female as you know and the victims have all been struck at the back of the head at an angle that would insinuate the height of the attacker in Ross’ case was similar, or in Sitwell’s case taller. Ross is 6ft and the blows took significant strength. Of course it could be a tall, bodybuilding female but I doubt it.”

Steve nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Also the hammer blows…it’s a typical cave man move. A bang on the back of the head, like with a club. Most Male serial killers are known to hunt their victims like that, throw-back to the hunter gatherer days. Women serial killers will normally use poison or suffocation…or if they’re in a frenzy a sharp knife.” He smiled, he had almost forgotten how good she was at this.

“I also believe that the victims were known to our guy, and that they know him too. First off there’s little to no physical resemblance, apart from them being male. Which leads me to believe he is targeting them deliberately. The lack of other marks on the body means they’re not being manhandled out to the place their killed either, so I believe it to be prearranged. Oh, and on that Barnes has had tech start to look at their phone records…see if either of them had calls or messages before hand.” Steve nodded “And the calling card?” “I’m stumped.” Katie said, shrugging. “Literally. I can only, again, go back to what I said in DC. Normally leaving things in mouths is either a sexual thing, which in this case we can rule out as there’s no signs of any sexual activity taking place, or a class statement, you know the whole silver spoon trope. I can only conclude this is his message about how dangerous either an everyday object can be, or how dangerous he can be with an everyday object. It could mean something to the killer, but…”

She paused and then looked at Steve “I want to dig into Sitwell more.” Steve watched her as she continued and bit back the smile at the fact she was telling him what she was going to do rather than asking for permission, like she always had.  “I’m going to call back to the 99, drag the Rumlow case files out…see if there’s anything that can tie Sitwell to Ross or vice versa. I know Rumlow is doing a stretch inside but…” “Sure. I’ll call Holt and let him know.”

With that she gave him a curt nod and went to leave. 

“Katie.” he said gently and she turned to look at him.

“Just be careful”

She didn’t reply, simply gave him a cold look and left. He watched her head to her desk where she said something to Bucky who nodded to her as she picked up her hoody, purse and then the mug in her usual end of day routine- she would NEVER leave an unwashed mug on her desk, no matter what time she was leaving.

A few moments later Bucky popped his head in, telling Steve he was heading off and had a couple of things to do on his way home so he would be later back. By couple of things, Steve assumed he meant a dame so he simply nodded and then once his friend was gone he glanced at the file Katie had left him. Before he started looking at it in detail he needed another coffee. He left his office, heading for the kitchen and as he made his way down the corridor he paused as Natasha’s raised voice hit his ears.

“You know as well as anyone round here, Stark, we’re a family. We look out for one another…and we’re just tired of the way you keep snapping at Steve. It’s not fair…”

“Wait you think... “Katie snorted and let her a bitter laugh "You think that I'm being unreasonable?” "You’re being a bitch!” Nat scoffed

Katie let out another derisive snort “Whatever…” she replied sarcastically and Steve knew from her tone she would be rolling her eyes.

“Look, you slept together. Yeah, we figured as much, and then you ran…” “I ran?” Katie laughed bitterly “Oh, that’s fucking priceless that is! Of course he hasn’t told any of you, wouldn’t want to ruin his God’s Righteous Man reputation would he?” “What are you talking about?” Nat asked.

“I didn’t run anywhere, Nat, he did!” Katie said, her voice loud “After we spent the night together I woke up to find him gone. And then he ghosted me for 3 days.”

"Shit." Nat said gently, "Katie…honestly I had no idea…I knew you'd both...you know but we all just assumed you'd decided it was a mistake and…"

“I wasn’t the one that decided it was a mistake. He did. Nat, I practically begged him to give me a reason to stay but he wouldn't.”

There was a pause and Katie spoke again, and Steve could hear the emotion in her voice. “You know, he told me that he cared, that he’d had feelings for me for years but…then he goes and does this and…”

She trailed off and Steve swallowed, he hated that he had hurt her so much, but more so that he couldn’t do anything to make it right. "I'm so, so sorry." Nat spoke again, her voice soft “I wouldn’t have…well, leaving you off the lunch invite was cruel, I should have said something to Wanda.”

Again nothing. And then Steve heard a sniffle “Shit, Katie come here..." There was the rustling of clothing as he assumed the two women embraced.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Nat asked.

“I don’t know I just...I suppose I thought by cutting myself off it would help but it didn’t. I’ve been so lonely…DC is great and the job is amazing but, well all my friends are here and…”

She was crying now and Steve’s heart sank even further. He’d done this to her.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you all like I did…and I should have talked to you I know. I missed you Nat.” “Yeah?” Steve heard the amusement in Nat’s voice.

“Of course I did.” Katie laughed a little “You were my best friend.” “No I wasn’t” Nat said softly.

“Well, my best girlfriend…” Katie replied.

"Have you told any of the 99 you're back in town?" Nat asked after a short pause. "No." "You should call Diaz. Us girls can go out, beers and a catch up."

"I'd like that. That is if Wanda hasn’t poisoned me before hand." Katie snorted. "Yeah well she’s sweet on Cap... you know that. " "She’s welcome to him. Let him give her the best fuck of her life and bail before the toast is ready." "The best fuck of your life?” Nat said, chuckling “That’s some claim.”

Katie gave a bitter laugh. "And don’t I wish it wasn't true."

“Well you know what they say…” Nat replied “The best way to get over a man is get under another one.” Steve didn’t want to hear anymore. He couldn’t. Frankly the thought of her with anyone else was enough to make him ill. He turned and strode back the way he had come and grabbed the files, shoving them into his laptop bag along with his tablet and his trusted leather bound notebook Katie had bought him the previous year. He’d do this at home, he didn’t want to be in the station anymore.

He was in a daze as he drove through the streets off Brooklyn, Katie’s voice ringing in his ears. "She’s welcome to him. Let him give her the best fuck of her life and bail before the toast is ready."  Her tone had been cold, callous, a far cry from the Katie he knew and loved.  A fuck. That’s all she believed she was, but it had never been about that, she meant far more to him. She always had. He couldn’t blame her for thinking that at all, but hearing her speak about him that way was tearing him in two, especially as he knew it was his fault.

Bucky was right, he should have left her well alone, got another profiler on the case. And it was for that reason he made a snap decision. He’d talk to her tomorrow, give her the opportunity to go back to DC.

He was that wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the car running the red light, as it hurtled towards him. The last thing he remembered was hearing the screeching of tyres and brakes, the sounding of a horn, and then the squealing and crunching of metal caused by a harsh impact to the driver’s side of his vehicle. He was thrown sideways, his car sent into a spin, his head snapping painfully to the side as it collided with the metal of his door column as it folded inwards.

And everything went black.  

@the-omni-princess  @momobaby227​ @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld  @cobalt-gear  @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13  @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie​  @navispalace​ @patzammit​  @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ @djeniiscorner​  @ayamenimthiriel​  @coldmuffinbanditshoe​  @disneylovingal​ @madzmilllz​  @sgtjaamesbaarnes​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @southerngracela​ @goldenfightergir​ @kellymat​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @charmed-asylum​ @pagesoflauren​

[fo-love]

Random stuff I genuinely believe in, idk I just wanted to talk about it

Note: please don't judge me too harshly, I'm an utter dork xjdjrnd

Soulmates! (platonic soulmates are a thing in my mind too!)

I believe in Greek mythology and in that, when Zeus made humans originally they had 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 heads. But Zeus feared their power so he split them in half, dooming them to spend their life searching for their other half. (I have a post in drafts to elaborate on this!)

Little, very small "superpowers", often overlooked as talents (jdndnf liSTEN IK IS SOUNDS STUPID)

Okay so like?? I can't really explain it?? I've never been good at explaining things :( but it's like really small "superpowers" (I can't find the right word ?), it can be something as small as you can spin for longer than most without getting dizzy, or you can walk of wood floors without them creaking too much. But everyone passes these off as talents and coincidence but I truly believe they're powers. I know it sounds super dorky and I bit stupid but, yeah, that's what I believe :)

Mirrors are portals

This ties into why I'm so scared of them, it's irrational to others, but to me I have a solid reasoning behind it. I have absolutely no clue if the other side is bad or not. But I believe that they are portals to an alternate reality, im still not 100% if I believe that they can come through it but I don't think so?? But I don't know, I also don't know if my "reflection" or whatever you want to call them is violent or not so I try avoiding mirrors but if I can't generally try my best not to look away (if I do, maybe they'll move), blink (also moving chance, idk how fast they are), or make eye contact too much (may seem like I'm threatening/challenging them)

With every "superpower" comes with a holdback

Kinda like quirks in BnHA but they don't have to be related, the can, but they don't have to be. Like maybe if the wooden floorboards don't creak under your step then your holdback is that it doesn't work if others are watching, or if you can spin for a long time without getting dizzy maybe your hold back is having a difficult time learning? I don't know. Also!! Heightened senses (or sixth senses) also count as superpowers maybe?? Not sure? Like I have better smell than, like, everyone I've met but I can't seem to find my power so maybe that's it?? Again, not sure!

There are little hints to your soulmate?? Like not actual hints but like, just to let you know they're there!

Like if you have a song or beat of a song stuck in your head despite not listening to it often/anytime soon your soulmate might be listening to it! Or if you smell a random scent without reason, maybe your soulmate is near the scent? (ex: I just smelled cinnamon despite being in my room away from the kitchen, and not being around anything cinnamon or cinnamon scented, so maybe my soulmate is at the store and passed some cinnamon, or maybe burning a cinnamon candle or something?) ofc there's no proof of this, it's just a feeling I have

Past lives exist, and not every phase of the world was documented

Like you know how you can feel homesick for somewhere you don't know anything about, not even looks sometimes? (maybe you don't, but I do) maybe that's your past life sneaking in and trying to tell you that it's home?? Or someone draws/edits a picture and you feel like you've been there before or something? Maybe that's your past life telling you that you have been there.

What you fear now, you might have died from in your past life?

I'm not 100% on this one, and of course not all fears play into this, but maybe like your biggest one?? Like my little sister is terrified of spiders and the ocean so maybe she died from either a poisonous spider bite or drowning?? And I'm terrified of the dark so maybe something happened to me in the dark? I don't know, I just thinks it's kinda like our past self reaching through and warning us to be careful, that something happened to them and it might happen the same to us if we aren't on alert.

I thought that maybe this post was getting boring to read so I'll end there, if y'all are actually interested I might post more ^^

[sweetwriting]

TimKon Week 2020 Day 5: What would it feel like?

Category: Gen

Genre: Hurt/Comfort 

Fandoms: DC Comics, Teamverse

Continuity : Post-Crisis/Pre-Flashpoint

Summary: Tim was the only one without a soulmate. Even if no one knew, it was lonely.

Word Count: 1 862

AN: Hola everyone. - Ok so while I enjoy reading Soulmates AU because of the variety of different kinds of soulmate AUs in fandoms, I have a hard time writing about predestination 'cause I don't believe in it. Especially not in any kind of romantic/Platonic format. As far as I believe soulmates are simply souls that have met several times and recognize each other (ofc that's only if you think reincarnation is possible).- I think Red String of Fate is more of an East Asia thing than an Asian thing in general but I couldn’t remember and don’t have the time to do research rn so that’s that and I’m going off the idea that by the time Tim’s grandpa died, it had spread around.Anyway, Enjoy

Prompt:  Soulmate AU - Hurt/Comfort

To read it on AO3

It was strange.

Tim could see marks on people. Sometimes it was timers, other times it was symbols, they could be static or moving, it could also be just matching lines separated in green, red and purple. Sometimes it was just writing or drawing that would disappear for some reason like erasable ink. More sadly, sometimes people share scars or pain. He only realized what he was seeing when he saw the picture of his grandparents whose pinkies were linked with a red string. His parents didn’t talk to him much about family traditions, he just knew that one of his great grandparents was Vietnamese and his mother had mentioned something called the red string of fate once. So he just did a quick internet search and tadaah. He knew what it was.

The question though was why he could see them when no one, not even metahumans could see them considering he was neither magic, a meta human nor an alien.

Or why he didn’t have one either.

Maybe it was simply a matter of not being able to see his own Soulmate. Or maybe it was in a place he could not see (which…he was torn between hoping for and not).

Or maybe he just didn’t have a soulmate.

But…aside from him everyone had a soulmate, their soulmarks might not always be visible but he could feel them, even if it was about sharing emotions. Was the fact that he could see the marks due to him not having one? Or did he not have one because he could see them?

It was rare for Tim to stop and think about that.

Despite his pretty great intelligence, if he dare think so himself, he was not the type to think too much about things that had no immediate effect on him (no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise). So thinking about soulmates was not very interesting. People were linked to each other; he wasn’t linked to anyone or he was and couldn’t see it. The only thing he learned from that was that your soulmate didn’t have to be a romantic partner. So he wouldn’t have to feel bad if one day he wanted romance…for some reason.

Either way Soulmates didn’t concern him. So he usually didn’t think about it. To him soulmarks were like eye or hair color. Just a thing that was there.

But once in a while, when he was alone on his own, he thought about it. It would be nice to have someone else. Someone with whom he could share a part of his soul and know it would be accepted.

It hadn’t happened since he had met Bruce though. Because he was almost never completely alone even though his father was still comatose. Or maybe because of it. He really didn’t want to think about that.

It was the first time in a bit more than a year since he thought about it actually. And he didn’t know why as there was nothing in his current life that warranted it. There was just this strange warmth. That made him wish.

- - - - - -

Then he met Ari and Steph and he knew he wasn’t their soulmates but he knew soulmates didn’t have to be romantic so he tried.

- - - - - - -

A year passed and he met Superboy for the first time. And he could feel it. Even The Kid had a Soulmate. Apparently his soulmark wasn’t a visible one, but it was there nonetheless. How unfair. Well not really. It was just further proof he was his own person as Superman’s soulmark was a pen on his left arm.

He had talked to Batman about his “ability” once when he talked about someone’s soul mark allowing him to recognize a perp. He could have lied and said it was a tatoo but since Batman couldn’t see it, it was useless. Granted that’s what he thought afterward, he hadn’t even thought of lying when it happened. The only reason he hadn’t told Bruce in the first place was because he hadn’t thought about it. According to Zatana it wasn’t due to magic nor was he tested as a metahuman and he was human. Apparently he was just more sensitive to this wavelength just like some people were weak against electronics and others to sounds.

- - - - - - -

He had met St

- - - - - - -

Months passed.

He and Superboy became friends. Good Friends. Or as good as they could be with Tim being unable to reveal his real identity.

Which is to mean that soon enough it also started going badly. Granted the first time was because of Match, it doesn’t change that Kon felt hurt and started becoming distrustful over Tim’s identity.

But if anything, Kon was perceptive even if he didn’t always know how to draw the right conclusion. He knew Tim had issues, and he had his own so he saw the dots….he just connected the wrong ones together.

Still. They bonded, even if a part of their relationship was deteriorating (and boy did it deteriorate once they were on Apokolips) there were slightly more normal parts that helped when they were just hanging out. Of course Tim’s ID was in the way but now he could show his face and joke and just…hang out. He always felt better after hanging out with Kon, except when he was being insufferable. It was a 50/50 on which one would happen but Tim was always ready to risk it.

Until the war. He understood where Kon was coming from but…He couldn’t deal with it so he left. It felt cold. Because Kon was literally the last person he wanted to talk to. As in if he had anyone he wanted to be the last person he thought of or talked to, he wanted it to be Kon. As if that wasn’t surprising enough.

- - - - - - - - -

Stephanie died. So did his dad. Being near Conner was comforting. His presence helped even if it didn’t solve anything. Just being near him helped him believe he could burry his pain. Granted the man himself refused to let him do so. Because he was his best friend.

How do you tell someone you know they have a soul because they have a soulmate? Well you just tell them. Everything. And it helped, for a bit. But then Luthor took over and no matter what Tim said, Conner’s guilt was in the way. It might have helped if his guilt hadn’t gotten in the way. Also their trip to the future felt like a proof Tim was mistaken. Because what if his “soulmark” was just a pale copy of Clark’s. Enough to exist but not enough to copy the mark. And Tim could understand this point but he just didn’t believe it. He didn’t believe it, not until Raven proved him he had a soul. Tim felt a bit miffed but he understood how Conner felt even if for different reasons.

- - - - - - - - -

Then Conner died. The warmth left. More importantly he left. He was taken away. And Tim was left again.

It’s the first time Tim thought that maybe he had a soulmate.

He never felt as heartbroken as he was now.

- - - - - - - -

More than a year and a half passed. Tim was still grieving. He didn’t know what to do. All his loved ones just kept dying and he just felt so cold. Stuff happened.

Conner came back. He wasn’t so cold anymore but he just…He had something to do. He had to find Bruce. Even for Conner he couldn’t stop.

He didn’t have to. Conner found him. He was really there. And he was the only one who believed him. And Tim knew it was really him because the warmth was back tenfold. He felt so much alive again.

If Conner believed him… It renewed his hope he could find Bruce.

- - - - - - - -

After a while the Status Quo came back and Tim came back to the Teen Titans. After Conner and Cassie broke up. It wasn’t easy. He felt like a buffer sometimes. But he didn’t care. Even if Conner and Cassie had issues, they usually were fairly mature about their break-up. Probably more for Tim and Bart’s sake than anything else but Tim wasn’t gonna complain.

- - - - - -

And then one day Tim got badly hurt on a Titans mission. It was rare for Tim to be really hurt when he was on a team mission and usually it wasn’t anything Conner couldn’t help with his TTK, but this time Tim was badly hurt to the point of fainting and Conner couldn’t not hold onto him. He needed the reassurance his best friend was gonna be okay.

Which is when he felt both pain and comfort. Tim opened his eyes for a second in what looked like surprise but fainted again. He looked like he didn’t feel as bad though. Maybe Conner had a new power? He didn’t know…or really care. At that point all he wanted was to get Tim back to the tower so he could get help and hope that he was relieving his pain if only a little bit.

- - - - - -

When Tim woke up, he felt like he was in a cocoon of warmth. He was so comfortable he almost went back to sleep. But that wasn’t normal. So he opened his eyes and felt Conner’s eyes on him. The boy immediately went for a hug but then seemed to remember Tim was still hurt….Even if he didn’t really feel hurt. Huh.

After a few second spent taking in the other’s state, Conner started:

“You’ve been asleep for the past two days and you’re supposed to stay in bed for the next three days after you wake up. Doctor’s order. Which I’ll make sure you follow so no funny business.”

Tim cracked a smile and nodded.

“So you’ll be my nurse?”

Conner nodded, seriously.

“Apparently I can reduce your physical pain when my skin touches yours. And it’s not a new power. I tested it on Rose. It’s only you.”

Tim froze. So it was true. He actually….

“We’re soulmates aren’t we? You told me some people had pain or emotion based soulmarks and that’s what we have right?”

He actually had a soulmate. It wasn’t just wishful thinking. It was Conner of course. Who else. There was almost no one he loved as much as Conner and definitely no one he loved more.

“Hey Tim….You’re crying. I mean I know I’m probably not the best person you could hope for but, I mean at least now you know you have a soulmate too…”

Tim jumped in Conner’s arms and hugged him as tight as he could without injuring himself further.

“Idiot. I’m so happy your my soulmate! You have no idea. I’m just overwhelmed”.

“Oh”.

- - - - - -

So…It turns out Tim had a soulmate. It turned out to be his best friend, the person he loved more than anything.

And while he could feel Bruce judging him all the way from Gotham when, after he told him, Conner could be heard from the other side of the door, He was probably the happiest he had been in years.

AN: Hope you enjoyed it ! As you can see it can be read as either friendship or romance. It their case it's intertwined and I don't have the time to try and push it further in the realm of romance right now.In this the warmth Tim feels is mostly due to being sensitive to soulmates bond. So when he feels his at his most powerful (since it's skin touchbased, the closer Kon is, the better) he feels all warm and Tingly 'cause his and Kon's soul just...keep trying to be in the other's close relationships circle. No matter the life.

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

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Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.