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#of yeah I'm not who quoteunquote society wants to be but This Is Me and FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT thing?
smdarling · 7 years
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Me ~is behind on everything because Unexpected Time with my best friend~ ~(also honestly a fair amount Less Fun reasons but best friend time Helps)
We saw The Greatest Showman and I can’t stop listening to the soundtrack this is the first non-Marvel movie in A While that I’ve just been SO ALL OVER I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEART I WAS UGLY CRYING THE ENTIRE TIME I’M STILL UGLY CRYING
Me ~has a list of fics I’m working on that I need to finish~
Me ~is thirty seconds from starting a The Greatest Showman AU~
Me @ me: Work on WIPs
Me back @ me: I NEED THAT MOVIE TO BE EVERYTHING 
~staring contest with myself, who will win? Stay tuned!~
#smdarling writes fic now liveblogging the process#I know I need to work on the WIPs I know I've been slow as fuck lately with them because low energy etc#and I have energy at this moment that should go to them#but..... THE GREATEST SHOWMAN SEE THAT MOVIE HAVE YOU SEEN IT YET GO SEE IT NOW IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE#also Good Timing cuz ~minor TGS spoilers~ the whole This Is Me theme#of yeah I'm not who quoteunquote society wants to be but This Is Me and FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT thing?#yeah someone that okay I haven't considered a friend for a couple years now#but who did teach me A Lot and we had.... Something Different between us not romantic or anything#but still one of the Great Loves Of My Life level of Something Different#fucking. (haha I typed that in and it showed a tag with his name that I used forever ago)#anyway yeah fucking. calls me over 10times at 430am the other night#deadnames me and when I said yeah I don't go by that name anymore and gender neutral pronouns#went ALL THE WAY OFF (via text cuz I wasn't gonna answer) like fuck you and your safe spaces#you won't answer the phone at 430am and won't accept me deadnaming and misgendering you HOW DARE U USED TO LOVE ME#and on and on and on childish fucking insults and Nazis don't exist in America#and even if they did since I wasn't in Charleston (????) and because I used to have a major self harm problem they don't exist for me?#idk wtf basically a whole bunch of You Can't Have It Both Ways#insulting my friends and my grandparents#and me: since my grandpa died I'm taking care of my grandma full time#SHE WILL DIE which yes duh??? apparently I shouldn't be taking care of her because she'll die eventually?#but also everyone takes care of their family?#and just Would Not Quit and I wanted to see how far he'd go and he just... kept Exceeding Expectations of Douchebaggery#so yeah I wasn't surprised it happened at all so much as surprised at the intensity and yeah#having someone go on and on about how fucked up/stupid/worthless etc I am for being nonbinary#especially someone who used to be however many years ago what that person was to me#was Not Fun Or Pleasant#and then I see The Greatest Showman which has that running theme of fuck you very much if you don't like who I am#THIS IS ME MOTHERFUCKER#just Good Timing and yeah probably a factor of why I'm so All The Fuck Over That Movie#but also MUSICALS and themes like that are SO MY THING so it's only like 5% of why
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