#of no man's land and the ppl living in it. if it didn't serve an immediate purpose like jeneora rock did‚ they didn't waste time or effort

[darkclouds-rainsounds]

Please don't mind me, I'm only saying this outside the tags because I hit the limit 😅. This is going under a readmore since I talk in paragraphs.

Anyway, I think Tonis taking the place of Hoppered being a possibility does have credibility in regards to how Tristamp as a story is being told in comparison to how Trimax was. In Trimax (well‚ the og Trigun manga)‚ the manga opens with Lost July. Speaking with the perspective of a reader going in blind‚ you have no idea what the true significance of this scene is. It's a giant zero-context scene dropped on you right at the start. A whole lot of "who‚ what‚ when‚ why‚ how?" since 'where' is already answered, albeit not very obviously— but you're left figuring it out as the pieces are slowly handed to you and forming the more defined picture of what happened.

The showing of Hoppered's past and why he's a Gung-Ho Gun bent on trying to get vengeance on Vash is something that only works with how the Trigun manga itself starts off. Because we're slowly getting more and more information about this major event that permanently and drastically altered the events of the world and its characters. Hoppered's backstory is another piece of information about that tragedy; another piece of information that lets us learn even more about Vash, and it makes him memorable and very important as a character himself within the setting of the story.

It's this steady revealing of information using Lost July as the starting point that makes Hoppered as a character hold so much weight.

With Tristamp taking place before the destruction of Julai, Hoppered no longer 'works' as a character because we see what Julai was like before it was lost and from what we saw, there were hardly any people there to make the city actually feel like it had such a largely proclaimed populace before its destruction.

Yes, the plot was snowballing and there wasn't really an opportune time to cut away and show Hoppered's backstory during the time Vash was in Julai— like an episode or half of one dedicated to the peoples and ways of life in Julai which could have shown Hoppered for a bit to set him up as someone from Julai who managed to be one of the few survivors and has a reason why he wants to kill Vash— but not doing something at least akin to that will later dampen his impact as a character (if he does actually show up in Tristamp).

Because the Julai we see is one that we are just informed has a lot of people. It's already been mentioned by others just how empty Julai looks and feels, that it makes the destruction of it not have as much impact as it does in Trimax (and again! In Trimax we don't see what a lot of what July was like before it was destroyed outside of Vash's memories which are in themselves part of what makes July's destruction so impactful).

So Hoppered not being shown at what would have been the perfect time in terms of storytelling to establish him as a character kind of weakens the impact he will have if he does appear. Because like... showing Julai full of life and people well after we saw it when it still existed would be kind of immersion breaking (especially since it very much didn't look all that full of life during the episodes that took place there. Like, bro where was everyone?? What are you talking about?) and imo‚ kinda bad.

But Tonis... with how he's been established, he fills the same role that Hoppered has almost perfectly.

It's like duncanor said:

"There's also folks speculating on Tonis becoming a Gun by replacing Hoppered.. Which is a possibility. He lost an arm, he lost his town and with Rosa heavily depressive state, he might also lose his family, effectively becoming an orphan with no home to go to. Perfect candidate for the Guns. Especially he has all the reasons to hate the Humanoid Typhoon after this."

Tonis growing up to hate Vash and want vengeance for the destruction of his home, Jeneora Rock, fills the same role Hoppered has of wanting vengeance for the destruction of July.

That Tonis could desire vengeance for what he deems as Vash being at fault for the destruction of Jeneora Rock just like how Vash destroying July in Trimax was both an accident on his part and predominantly the fault of Knives. Knives destroyed Jeneora Rock in Tristamp as collateral for Vash just so happening to be there (it's not his fault‚ but it's the in-universe reason we are given if I remember correctly, and thus likely what Tonis could be lead to hypothetically believe).

With there being no set up for Hoppered during the time Vash was in Julai— which was the only time we got to see what Julai was like when it was full of life and outside of just Vash's memories— he feels like he comes out of nowhere. This isn't the case for Trimax since we start off at Lost July and can only see what comes after. In Tristamp we see events from before, so it wouldn't make much sense from a storytelling standpoint to not introduce— even in the background— a character tied to such an important event, as doing so would have the effect of making the story feel more cohesive and stronger overall once that seemingly innocuous character shows up later with a vengeance.

But Tonis being someone whose home we see bustling with life before being destroyed, and said destruction being tied with Vash‚ it does the exact thing I was talking about above. Him being at least a Gun (rather a Chekhov's Gunman) is highly likely given his interest in bugs as stated, and it being subtly implied that the reason why the Guns and Knives attacked Jeneora Rock to take the Plants right when Vash just so happened to be there, was because of the worm in that box he had.

If Tonis does end up becoming a Gung-Ho Gun, it would be a perfect parallel to Rollo who was also a child Vash cared about and wanted to save, only for him to become resentful and want to kill Vash when he failed to uphold his promise and what had become of him as a result of that being the near-complete loss of his humanity.

And well... we saw what happened to Rollo in the end.

Tbh, I've wondered each time I've rewatched if Tonis's arm is the only major loss in Rosa's family with the whole Knives fiasco. I don't know enough about pregnancy orhealth in general to have more than a vague idea, but the Nebraska garbage, E.G. the Mine, and then Knives going down can't be good for that baby

(I also hope, someday, when they're all less immediately traumatized, both Meryl and Vash get to meet up with the two again because I think both Tonis and Rosa would be thankful that their lives were saved when, you know. Not in the immediate, horrifying aftermath. And both Meryl and Vash could use hearing that)

[colemansdimple]

So I did this quiz on my twitter to see if I should write next a Vicbourne au post war OR a pure vicbourne fic. Ppl voted and the vicbourne au won BUT I guarantee that I'm already working on the pure one and IT WILL HAVE MORE CHAPTERS YAY!

THIS IS A TOTALLY SFW FIC BTW WITH JUST ENOUGH SMUT NOT TO BE SO BORING

When one door closes

By colemansdimple

VICTORIA

Victoria was born to live a comfortable life. That's what everybody told her. Her family wasn't that rich but they had some means to ensure she'll never need to work a single day in her life. She was instructed as any highborn lady. She learned manners, how to dress and how to behave in society. But her passion was her piano lessons.

When she was growing up she had many sweethearts but her family chose her cousin Albert Coburg to be her future husband. His family had a good name and he was supposed to inherit land in the country. It wasn't as if she didn't care for him. They knew eachother since childhood and in their teenage years they walked hand in hand and shared innocent kisses. She knew that if she married him she wouldn't need to worry about anything in the world.

Then the war came. It was violent and long. Soon all the young boys were recruited to serve in the army. It didn't matter whose family they belonged. Destruction, fire and death followed. Her family lost everything they had trying to flee. In the first weeks after her fiance left they still exchanged letters but soon she would write but he would not reply back.

10 years the war lasted. Victoria was now a 26 year old woman with no husband, no money on her name and no knowledge of how the new world worked. When the letter came, the one saying Albert had disappeared in action, her parents decided to send her to live in the big city. She felt absolutely furious of her fate and hated everyone involved in her misfortunes.

She managed to rent a small flat shared with other 2 girls. She needed to get money to help them pay the bills fast or she would have to live in the streets. When she was walking around looking for a job she came across a small shop next to a cafe. It was an antique shop that sold things from before the war. Things that weren't destroyed. She looked through the window and saw the most beautiful piano she had ever seen. Oh how she missed playing her music! She went inside and asked very politely to the shopkeeper if she could play a little for free. She was pretty and managed to get his attention so he said yes. She sat on the piano...she held her breath...and she started to play.

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WILLIAM

William was a soldier. He was raised by his father since his mother left them. She was a good mother but she suffered from mood swings and had a strong temper. One day she just walked out of the door, closed it behind her and never came back. His father was a rigorous man. He raised William to be cold hearted and rational. But somehow he still managed to maintain his mother's kindness and cleverness with him. When William was 18 his father sent him to the army so he could escape the sins of youth.

Soon enough he raised himself in the ranks and became very influential inside the army. Almost like a politician. His ability to say and do the right thing saved his life many times. When he was 30 he met a woman in a officers party. She was pretty and had a calm way about her, he thought. The perfect role model for his future family. Something his own mother never was. They married and soon she became pregnant with his first child. And then the war came.

William barely had time to hold his Alice in his arms when he was summoned to the front lines. He needed to survive. He needed to come back to his family. He couldn't leave his child to grow up without him. The battlefield was brutal. Everyday more comrades fell. He was beginning to lose hope. He was responsible for one of the last regiments standing. They were reduced to boys who barely had any battle experience. Their cries at night seemed to never stop.

Then, miraculously, a peace treaty was signed. He could finally go home after 10 years away. However, when his troops were returning they found themselves trapped in a minefield. He tried to calm his men saying they shouldn't run but none listened. They so desperately wanted to go home. One by one they hit a mine. One by one they fell to the ground while William screamed for them to return. So many explosions all around him. He was starved, thirsty, exhausted and desperate. He ended up fainting.

When he woke up he was in a hospital. Another troop rescued him and some of his men. But others went missing. He would never forgive himself. If he was a better commander none of this would have happened, he thought. When he was finally able to return home he found out his wife had died in childbirth. Alice was being raised in an orphanage. When he saw her he fell in love with her all over again, like the first time he held her in his arms.

But to his child he was a stranger and it took a while for her to trust him and accept to live with him. He received many prizes for his actions in the war. Along with a penthouse and a very good retirement money. His daughter would want for nothing and he would raise her now to be a proper lady. He lacked the knowledge to do that however, and after the war the good schools were still almost all closed.

He was having a coffee one day, in a quiet street, thinking about the best way to educate his daughter, when he heard music. It was someone playing a piano in the shop next door. He got up slowly, almost enchanted. It has been so long since he heard a piano! Then he saw her through the window. She played with such passion and concentration she looked almost possessed. He felt petrified just by looking at her. She was so small but incredibly beautiful. Then the music ended. She got up, thanked the shopkeeper and headed for the door. He thought she must surely be a proper lady, the way she moved, and she clearly was educated in pre war schools. She must teach his daughter everything she knew. As she exited the shop, he grabbed her by the arm.

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VICTORIA

She was scared when she felt strange hands reaching for her arm. Immediately she tried to get away. But then she looked into his beautiful green eyes and she felt her anger slipping away.

- Excuse me miss, can I ask your name?

- It's not very polite to ask for a lady's name before you have yet to introduce yourself Sir.

He blushed slightly.

- I am William Lamb and I'm pleased to meet your acquaintance miss....?

- There's no need for you to know and I'm taking my leave. Good day to you sir.

She turned around to leave but he ran to stand in her way .

- I apologize miss. I'm just an army man and I've returned from the war not long ago. It appears that I've left my manners on the battlefield.

He said with sharp looking eyes. It had the intended effect because she clearly became interested in him. Maybe he might know something about my fiance, she thought. But in the back of her mind she was already dangerously getting lost in the forest of his eyes.

- I am Victoria Kensington. How can I help you Mr. Lamb?

- You see miss Kensington I have a daughter in need of proper education, and I heard you playing the piano and...I felt that you might be the right person to teach her how to become a lady in society. I can pay you well and it would be only a few hours of your time. Please, could you consider my offer?

Victoria thought this was surely a miracle from the heavens! This might be her chance to survive on her own in the big city and she might even get some news of her poor Albert! But she couldn't say yes right away. It isn't very ladylike, she thought, like she's desperate or something. Well... she was desperate...but she couldn't show it.

- I'll give it a thought Mr. Lamb. I've just arrived in the city you see and I'm still adjusting.

- Miss Kensington, please, if you could just come by tomorrow...I'll give you the address...then you will see why I...we...need your help so much.

Victoria agreed to come by his house...and she also agreed with a ride home. Her feet pained her from walking all day job hunting. He took her to her front door and gave her his card with the address of a penthouse. Not bad, Victoria thought, not bad at all for a first day in the big city.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

WILLIAM

He could barely contain his excitement! Finally he had done something right for his daughter! But she wasn't too happy with the news. The thought of having more lessons bored her so she locked herself in her room for the rest of the day. William felt distraught, he knew nothing of children. Why couldn't she just accept he was doing the right thing for her?

Next day, Alice still wasn't talking to him. He managed to get her bathed and properly dressed before Victoria arrived. When Alice saw Victoria for the first time she thought she was seeing a fairytale princess. Her makeup, her hairstyle, her clothes, her manner of speaking. Everything felt different from what she had seen so far in her little universe. Although her father knew Victoria had a secret temperament, something that intrigued him, he couldn't deny.

Contradicting what he thought would happen, Victoria and Alice got along very well. She taught her how to read, write, play the piano, table manners and to be polite in public. The girl watched her very closely and tried to copy everything Victoria did and said. It was like a game between the two of them. Victoria also taught her to be creative, to draw and paint.

- I believe, Alice, that young girls like you are the future of our society. It is still a society ruled by men but you must learn how to navigate it. What I give you are keys but you must open the doors yourself. At least that's what my own teachers used to say.

She told the girl with a kind smile.

William worked alone in his office, his battles now were with paperwork. But sometimes he would sneak to the study to watch Victoria and Alice. He was beginning to get used to their routine. When Victoria was around Alice became very talkative and energetic with him. Their relationship even improved after Victoria suggested he should read to her before bed and always make time for meals together.

But he kiddied himself that he wanted Victoria close just for Alice's sake. In his heart he knew he was already falling for her. Her wit, her temper, her smile with dimples, her big blue eyes, her beauty. He adored her presence and invited her to dinner with them many times. They talked all about Alice and her future.

One day, after the three of them had dinner, William put Alice in bed and offered Victoria some wine. They watched a little bit of television. Victoria liked it because she didn't have one in her own place. Modern things became too expensive after the war. William was tired and fell asleep on the couch next to Victoria. He woke up with blue eyes very close to his and a soft hand on his cheek. Touching him intimately for the first time.

-Mr Lamb you fell asleep...I think you were... having a nightmare...

Her beautiful eyes shinning like dark oceans. He wanted to drown in them and never come up for air.

- It's nothing. I'm sorry to worry you miss Kensington.

He said, moving away from her with some difficulty, already missing her warm touch.

- It's the war isn't it? The reason for your nightmares...do you want to talk about it?

They never discussed the war before. He lived in a bright present and he didn't want to spoil things remembering the dark horrors of his past.

- Miss, as I said, it's nothing.

-I never told you before but I...lost my fiance in the war...he left for the front lines...and never came back. I even received a letter informing me of his "disappearance in action".

She was opening her heart to him for the first time. So he felt he should do the same. He told her about his wife, about Alice, about missing ten years of her life, about the horror that he saw there in the battlefield. When he finished, his eyes were bright with tears.

-Thank you for telling me Mr Lamb.

-William miss. Please call me William..when we're speaking like this.

-Well...if we're ending the formalities for now...then I'll accept Victoria as well.

After that their bond became stronger. Although William promised her that he would do his very best to try to find her fiance, he prayed the day would never come that someone would take her away from him...and Alice.

One afternoon, Alice was practicing in the piano. Victoria and William were listening in the next room while having tea. Then, she did something unexpected. She got up and offered her hand to him. He took it and they started a slow dance. It was nothing out of the ordinary but soon he was pressing her body against his tighter than the music demanded. She didn't complain and closed her arms around his neck. Their foreheads touching. Their breaths becoming more irregular. Their mouths coming closer, closer. Until they were united in a soft kiss. It was the perfect first kiss. So sweet were her lips that he didn't dare to take more. Then, they realised Alice had stopped playing. The music had ended so the spell that binded them was over.

Victoria gave them both apologies, saying she needed to go home earlier. It was only after a while that William stopped staring at the door she closed behind her when she left.

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VICTORIA

She was a stupid, stupid woman! Why couldn't she just be happy with what she got? She had a good life considering all the post war situation. She had a good job. She had money. She even sent a little to her parents every month. Why couldn't she just be content with that? She knew he was falling in love with her. She wasn't dumb, she could see the signs. And she didn't mind it in the slightest because she was in love with him as well. She knew she shouldn't. That it had no future for her. When Alice grew enough, her lessons would be over and she would never see them again. They would just be a happy sad memory. And that was what she told herself every day before going to work.

But as soon as she got inside the penthouse...she felt like she belonged...she felt so comfortable and happy. She even forgot to send a letter to her parents, asking for a photograph of her Albert so she could ask William to search for him. She didn't think of Albert at all when she was there. She lied to herself thinking that she only missed her comfortable life from before the war but she knew it wasn't the case. She loved William and she loved Alice. She wanted nothing else but to be with them forever. And now she ruined everything! Would he be angry at her impropriety? Would he think she was just talking advantage of his kindness? Would he dismiss her in the next morning? All of those thoughts came flashing through her mind but when she laid down to sleep she couldn't forget the way he held her, or his beautiful green eyes or his tender lips on hers! She never felt like this with anyone.

Next day, she came to work as usual but William wasn't there to greet her. He spent all day locked in his office. The next day she received news that she wasn't needed that day. Alice told Victoria her father was away and she would be staying with neighbours. He went to the country to bring news of her Albert.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

WILLIAM

It was the second time he saw someone he cared about closing a door and leaving him. Deep within his heart he felt as if she would not return just like his mother. Of course she would leave! He should never have kissed her! She was his daughter's teacher, she had just recently become his friend. Someone he could talk to and share the hardships of fatherhood without being judged. And he was so much older than her! She must think of him a pervert and disgusting old man who just wanted to take advantage of a young unmarried woman! She must be hating him so much right now! God please let her not hate me! He thought.

Then, he decided it was time for him to do the right thing for her. He was always good at that. He just had the boy's name but he would find her Albert and bring him to her. It was the only way to compensate her for his misbehaving. Maybe she could forgive him one day and they could remain friends after Alice grew up. Although that thought alone hurted him profoundly, it was still better than not having her in his life at all.

Next day he spent it all in his office phoning people and writing faxes to all his known military colleagues to see if they knew the whereabouts of soldier Albert Coburg. He heard her when she arrived. He wanted to see her so badly. But he was too afraid to look in her eyes and see any trace of disgust on her face. It would kill him. So he tried his best to not open the door and run to her begging her forgiveness. He needed to succeed in the only thing she ever asked of him.

It was late at night when he finally got a call. Someone reported where the man he was searching for could be found. A small village not far away. He could go there and back in a day.

He left instructions for the neighbours to take care of Alice while he was gone and he told her to tell Victoria she must not worry because he would bring her fiance back. This did not make Alice happy at all but when she grew up she would understand, he thought.

When he arrived in town, he asked around for the boy and found him in a pub surrounded by girls in irredeemable clothing. As soon as he saw the boy, he remembered. This boy served in his troop. He couldn't remember the names of them all but his face he would never forget.

He was the first idiot that ran after he told them to stay put. The other boys followed after him and most were killed by the explosive mines. His fists closed tight in frustration. This is the boy Victoria loved. He was not worthy of her. Not that he considered himself worthy either. No. No man would ever be worthy of her.

- Mr. Albert Coburg?

- Well well if it isn't Mr captain shit on his pants.

He said with a smug smile on his face, obviously already drunk at midday.

William swiftly got him by the arms and took him outside to the back of the pub.

- I don't care what you think of me. I know I wasn't the perfect captain you all deserved. But I'm not here to talk of the past. I'm here in the name of your fiance Victoria Kensington. She is looking for you and waits your return to honour your marriage proposal.

-Never heard of her...and even if I did how do you think I could honour anything? When the war was over all of you captains got your medals and little prizes. While us soldiers got nothing.

-You all received enough payment for your services. It's not my fault if you chose to spend it all on sinfully things forgetting your responsibility. But enough of that. You will go back to Victoria and you will make her happy or I swear to god you will regret surviving this war.

William was on his limit. His grip on the boy's arms getting tighter and tighter with each sentence.

- I will give you some money to help you and her settle until you find a proper job. You seem healthy enough to support her. And either way Victoria still has a job to return to if she wishes. But you will go to her first thing in the morning in this address. And don't you dare say a word to her about what we talked here today!

William shoved an envelope with a good amount of money in the boy's hands and left. The ride home wasn't easy. He had always done the right thing but now he felt as if he didn't know what was right anymore. His feelings were in the way. He knew Victoria should be with someone she cared for but he felt she deserved more than that stupid boy.

He felt confused and angry. He needed time to think. Time to see if Victoria would return or if she would be happy away from him...from them. Tired, he fell on the couch and slept praying for just one peaceful night, free from his nightmares.

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WILLIAM & VICTORIA

Two days later and no news of Victoria. It stormed outside. It felt like the end of the world. The wind was strong and people were advised not to leave their homes. Alice was quiet ever since Victoria left that day, she spoke less and less. She ate little and excused herself to her room. He didn't have energy to argue with her. They were both missing Victoria in their own way, he knew.

It was a little after eight at night when someone knocked at his door. When he opened it a drenched Victoria stormed inside. She didn't even asked permission to enter. She looked absolutely furious but even in her fury she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

-Vic...Miss Kensington...what on earth are you doing here? There's a storm outside and the government told everyone to sta...

- I don't care! I needed to come here... I needed to know...why William? Why did you give him money to send me away? Was I not a good employee? Did Alice not like me in any way?

- Damn that boy! I told him not to tell you!

- Why not? Did I not deserve to know? It was the first thing he said when he came to my door you know... totally drunk and disheveled...he was laughing while telling me his "old idiot commander" had given him a lot of money to marry me and that he might give more if I asked because he "seemed to fancy me".

William's cheeks burned bright. Damn it all!!!

- I... Victoria... I...just thought I was doing the right thing for you. I thought you wanted him back...

- Let me ask you this William...apart from that first time I mentioned him...did I ever spoke of him again?

- No but...

- Did I ever suggested I was looking for a husband? Did I ever spoke of loneliness?

William kept his head down. Shame creeping up on him.

-No you didn't.

- He told me everything, you know...

At this William finally looked up at her. Waiting.

-He told me what happened that day. The boys ran to the mines and you couldn't stop them. That's the reason why you have nightmares, isn't it?

He couldn't look at her anymore. He sat down on the couch and hid his face in his hands.

-It's true Victoria. It's all true. I couldn't save them. I am a cold hearted failure. How can I call myself a commander if I can't even control my own men? And for that I am deeply sorry to you. I am the cause of your misfortunes. If I had stopped Albert I could avoid him being lost and he could have returned to you sooner. I am so so sorry!

He felt her hand brushing his hair. It was such a sweet gesture that tears came easily down his eyes.

-It wasn't your fault. He ran on his own accord and the others that followed him did it in their own free will. You did everything you could and you must never be ashamed of that.

Her eyes shone with her own tears.

-William...I left him...I throwed him out and told him to never come back. He wasn't the boy I remembered...the war changed him...but it did not change you. You are not cold hearted. You are kind and loving and you always did your best for others. Even for me...a total stranger.

-You are no stranger.

He weakly replied.

-I am... although I never felt like one here. William...when I first met you and you offered me a job...I felt so relieved that something was finally going right for me for once after the war...and you gave me an opportunity to be useful in a time when my only skills are no longer important...I thought I didn't need anyone and could take care of myself...and then I got to know Alice..and I got to know you...at first I thought you were the true friend I never had...but now I feel...I know...that you're the only companion I could ever desire.

-I am so old Victoria. You deserve far better than an old bag of bones with a regretful past...

- You are not old! But...I am young and I know nothing of being a good wife...and I know that I'm not as pretty as Alice's mother but if you give me a ch...

He silenced her with his mouth. His passion robbed her of breath. He moved her face to deepen the kiss. His tongue rolling with hers in waves and making her moan. He hugged her tightly and warmed her inside and out. Her drenched clothes wetting his. He spoke when they finally stopped for air.

- Victoria...you are the most perfect being I have ever seen...you are smart, funny, incredibly beautiful and strong minded...and everyday I thank whoever god brought you to my life. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you...you must believe that...the only reason I searched for Albert was because I thought you hated me after that kiss...and I wanted to make amends...I wanted you in my life and in Alice's in any way...

- And I thought YOU hated ME! I thought you might think I was taking advantage of you and your money.

They were both laughing at their awkwardness.

-But Victoria...what will you do now? Will you stay?

-Do you want me t...

Another kiss, quicker than the last but not less passionate.

-Yes! There's nothing I want more in the world than you to allow me to love you.... will you marry me?

Her face shone with happiness.

-Yes William Lamb I will marry you...but first...i fear i must ask you something very unladylike...I can't wait until marriage my love...I want to be completely yours... starting now...

She always knew how to surprise him. He gave her a knowing smirk, took her by the hand and guided her quietly to his bedroom to not wake Alice up. When they entered the room she reached around, closed the door and locked them both inside. It was the first time a sound of a closing door brought happiness to him.

THE END

[gender-i-hardly-know-er]

there are few benefits to being death's shepherd

this is for analogical week day 1- fear/warmth!

okay, this is kinda a weird concept but i like it so it's fine

warnings- mentions of death (like a lot), mentions of murder (logan's killed ppl), swearing, uhhh roman dies but for like two seconds bc virgil is a necromancer, and that's all i can think of

lmk if i should add anything else!

@analogicalweek

If there was one thing Logan missed about being human, it was warmth. He could deal with the lack of heartbeat, the absence of food, and the changes to his appearance just fine; but the warmth… he didn't think he’d ever missed anything more. He supposed it was a fitting punishment, do unto others as you would have them do unto you and such. He’d certainly taken the warmth from more than a few people in his time on earth. At least they didn't have to live with it! He was stuck between the land of the living and the dead, forced to serve as death’s harbinger, guiding souls of the dead to an afterlife he’d never get to see. He was one of many; his fate was not unique, however rare it might have been. Different guides used different names- some just called themselves “Death”, which was far from creative, and technically inaccurate. They weren’t death, they were what came after. Some preferred titles like “Angel of Death”. Again, inaccurate, as the people cursed to end up like him surely never lead lives angelic in nature. From “The Grim Reaper'' to “The Destroyer”, Logan had heard them all, but only one ever seemed to fit. He was Death’s Shepherd. Guiding and protecting the recently deceased (recently is a relative term- his job was time consuming! So what if some of them were trapped in their bodies for a few months? They have a literal eternity to get over it!). It was dull, repetitive, and never-ending. Truly a fate worse than death. No pun intended.

Interesting days were few and far between, but when they happened, Logan was overjoyed. Today was one of those; his next assignment was in a known necromancer’s lair. Now, Logan didn't have any personal misgivings about the practice of necromancy- hell, he’d dabbled in it a bit in his long-gone lifetime- but it sure did make his job harder. See, the system the people in charge used to find the dead and assign them… it was not great. It was significantly delayed, and it had no precautions against wrongful assignment (AKA, people who didn't actually die, or at least aren’t dead anymore). It was little more than an annoyance for Logan, but he did enjoy meeting necromancers. They were always eccentric, and way more interesting than the people Logan met on a daily basis. Plus, with necromancers, you don't have to deal with a whole explanation. They know what you are. You get to skip the whole “being scared” bit, Logan’s least favorite part by a long shot. Even if this was a wrongful assignment, he’d probably get to talk to a necromancer, so it all evened out. He shook off the ever-present cold feeling as he put on his hood. He never was partial to the whole “long, black, flowing robe” aesthetic- he thought it was played out and just added to the fear people felt upon seeing the shepherds, something Logan desperately wanted to avoid. He opted for a simple black suit, tie, and hood. Nothing too extravagant, and entirely practical. He picked up his scythe and went to the elevator, ready to make his way to earth. 

~~~

After an uneventful elevator ride, Logan stood in front of his destination. That was the one thing corporate got right; their travel mechanisms were fast and accurate. 

He walked toward a large, metal door, taking in his surroundings. The house he was brought to could’ve belonged to Dracula himself (Logan had actually met the man before- he was quite nice, really), with its tall, looming doors and gothic windows. Whoever ran this place had no qualms with being known for necromancy. He decided he’d be polite and knock on the door. He raised the large iron door knocker and slammed it down. 

He got a response within seconds, the door ripping open to reveal a man in a purple cloak. “The fuck do you want- oh- you’re one of those… who’re you here for?” 

The stranger seemed to know his stuff, being able to identify Logan abnormally fast. “I’m looking for a…” Logan summoned his schedule book and found the name, “Roman Sanders. Is he here?” 

“Yeah, he’s here, but he’s not dead anymore. False alarm.” They both just sort of stood there for a few moments. Logan didn't need to go back yet, and he didn't want to. He quite enjoyed his time up top. But he also didn't know what to do with himself… the stranger seemed to be having an internal debate of his own, glancing back and forth between Logan and the ground. Eventually, the stranger spoke up again. “Do you, uh- d’ya wanna come in? I don't mind if you do.”

Logan didn't know what to do with that. He never really went out of his way to interact with others more than he needed to, but, seeing as he had nothing better to do, he obliged. “I… suppose I could.” 

With that, the stranger stepped inside and gestured for Logan to follow. Logan trailed behind him through a long hallway and into a surprisingly modest kitchen. He sat at a small dining table and watched as the stranger started making tea. 

“You want anything? I got coffee, tea, water, some sodas-”

“Oh, I can't eat or drink.” 

“What, are you on a diet or something?”

“...no, I’m literally not alive- I can't eat or drink anymore.” 

“...Oh.” the stranger sat on the countertop with his tea. “I’m sorry?” 

“No apology necessary.”

They sat in silence for a moment. It occurred to Logan that he hadn’t really had any human interaction in a few decades. At least not with anyone living. All the other people he talked to were dead… and scared. He’d forgotten how to fill the quiet. Thankfully, the stranger did it for him. 

“What’s it like?” he said, sitting down his tea and leaning forward. “I mean, obviously I know what you guys are, but I’ve never really gotten to talk to any of you. What’s the in-between like?” 

“I- well, I don't really know how to answer that. No one’s ever asked…” 

“Hmm. Favorite and least favorite part?”

“Favorite… if I’m being honest, everything about it kind of-” 

“Sucks?” 

Logan chuckled. “Well, I was going to say ‘disappoints’, but I suppose that works too. I’ve gotten used to most of it, but there is one thing that still bothers me.” He debated telling this random person vulnerable information, but decided that there wasn’t a way for it to be used against him in this instance, so he continued. “I’m so cold. My body doesn't give off heat anymore, so blankets and sweaters don't work. All those do is trap already present heat, but there’s no heat to trap. I miss warmth more than anything.” 

The stranger was quiet for a moment before muttering something Logan couldn’t understand. 

“Come again?”

“...I’m warm. I could… nevermind, it’s nothing-” Logan sincerely doubted that, but he let it go. He needed to be on his way soon. 

“Thank you for talking with me, it’s been a pleasure…” it had only just now occurred to Logan that they hadn’t exchanged names. 

“Virgil- I’m, uh- I’m Virgil.” 

“It’s been lovely meeting you, Virgil.”

“You too…”

“Logan.”

“Logan. Nice meeting you, too. Or whatever. I don't care.” Virgil’s friendly and hospitable air quickly changed, becoming standoffish and impersonal, for reasons left unknown to Logan. Virgil waved him off. “Go on.” 

Logan waved a quick and confused goodbye before taking his leave, out the door and into the elevator. 

~~~ 

“Roman?” Virgil called for his friend, walking through the upstairs hall and sticking his head into every room. “Where are you? I gotta kill you again!” 

Roman came speeding down the hall, almost ramming into Virgil before successfully stopping himself. “Again? I just got back, can't a man get a break?” 

“What if there was a reason this time?”

“What reason could you possibly have?”

Virgil tried his best to make the situation not sound stupid as all hell, saying “Okay, so you know the guys that come when you die? With the scythes and stuff?”

“God, how could I forget?”

“Yeah, well the one that came this time was… kinda hot? And we, like, talked and stuff and-”

“Say no more- if I must die for true love, so be it!”

“No one said anything about love-”

“You didn't have to say it- I know you. You talked to a random guy, something you never do. You are going out of your way to talk to someone you don't know! Who are you and what did you do with Virgil?” They both laughed at that. “If you’re trying to be social without me forcing you to, by all means, continue! I only ask one thing- can it wait until tomorrow? I’d like to actually sleep. Believe it or not, death is soooo tiring.”

Virgil smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.” 

He didn't know what it was about Logan that made him want to see him again. Maybe it was the surprise he showed when Virgil asked him questions. Maybe it was the little laugh he was obviously stifling. Maybe it was how upset he seemed when talking about being cold. 

Maybe it was that Virgil wanted to warm him up. 

~~~

When Logan looked at his assignments the next day, he at first assumed there’d been an error; it wasn’t out of the question. In Logan’s century of doing his job, there’d certainly been errors (perhaps even a concerning amount). But when he called to report it, he was told that yes, he does, in fact, have the same assignment as yesterday. Yes, Roman Sanders was actually dead this time, and yes, he had to go pick him up. 

Not that he was upset about this… he wouldn’t mind talking to that necromancer again- Virgil, if he remembered correctly. He couldn't stop thinking about him their conversation. He’d actually asked about Logan’s half-life! No one ever did that. The dead people he picked up were always so concerned about themselves, it was always “what happened to me” and “am I dead” and “where are you taking me”. It was honestly annoying. I mean, yeah, dying can be scary, but if they’d just fucking wait, everything would be explained. Logan was a shepherd, not a messenger! Nonetheless, Virgil was the first person that seemed to care at all.  

He was almost skipping when he reached the necromancer’s home, pausing to regain his composure before knocking. Virgil appeared within seconds, a bit out of breath. He looked like he’d been running. 

“Hey.” Virgil said, leaning on the doorframe and looking Logan up and down. Something seemed… off? Logan couldn’t place it, but Virgil was acting different somehow. Before he could think about it too much, Virgil was waving him in, skipping the pleasantries and bringing Logan straight to the kitchen. Logan rather appreciated that. He was never one for small talk. He sat in the same chair he had before, and Virgil took his prior place on the counter. 

“Soooo… Roman’s alive this time, too,” Virgil started. “I’m guessing that’s why you’re here?” 

“Yes, that’s right. I don't know why corporate thought he died again.” Logan relaxed his head in his hand.

“Oh, no, he did die again. He’s back now, though.” Virgil mirrored Logan’s movements, his crossed legs serving as platforms for his elbows. He rested his head on his knuckles and sighed comfortably. 

“Again? Within a day?”

“Yeah- he’s clumsy,” Virgil said, a bit rushed, before changing the topic. “You said something about ‘corporate’? Don't tell me there’s capitalism in the afterlife, too.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Logan sighed. “I’ve never been there.”

“What do you mean you’ve never been? I thought that was your whole thing?”

“My fate is little more than a punishment for those who led irredeemable lives. We don't get to see the afterlife, but we have to spend eternity leading others there. The closest we get is the gates.” Logan fidgeted with his tie, unsure how Virgil would react. He’d just said his job is only for horrible people… Virgil was going to think he was horrible! Which he was, of course, but it still hurt. 

“Irredeemable lives? What does that mean?” 

“You know. Mass murderers, billionaires, the majority of politicians,” Virgil didn't seem to react at all to Logan’s response. He just kept staring at him and looking away. Staring at him, looking away. Over and over and over. 

“Lemme guess…” Virgil’s brow furrowed as he contemplated. “Billionaire?” 

“God, no. Mass murderer,” Logan laughed a bit. “I killed a few billionaires in my living days- along with… many others, but we don't have to talk about that.” 

“I get it. So you’re… evil?” Logan didn't know why Virgil was smiling, but he knew he wanted to make it happen again. 

“...you could put it that way, yes”

“Dude, that’s so cool! I’m a somewhat evil man myself,” Virgil came down from his perch on the counter, taking the seat beside Logan. “Well, that’s what others seem to think, at least. I sorta just went with it. I’m not evil because I wanna do shitty things to people, I’m just in it for the aesthetic.”

Logan took a long look at Virgil and had to agree. It really worked for him. He didn't normally enjoy the classical goth style, with its ornate black dresses and frills- it was too lavish for his business-like tastes- but the way Virgil looked… he might have started to enjoy it a bit. He was in a long, tight dress- much fancier than the cloak he was wearing the first time they met. His sleeves draped over his wrists, forming long, flowy triangles. He was fucking gorgeous, and if Logan had blood, he’d be blushing.

“Hello? You there?” Logan jolted as Virgil’s hand grazed his, pulling back in surprise. He immediately missed the bit of warmth that Virgil’s touch had supplied, however little. 

“Fuck, you are cold,” Virgil looked at his hand, like he could see the chill on his skin. “And you feel like that all the time?” 

Logan nodded, avoiding looking at Virgil. 

Virgil stayed silent for a second before speaking again, in a soft voice Logan had to strain to hear. 

“I’m- I’m warm. I’ve got body heat and stuff…”

“Yes, I know that.” He couldn’t tell if Virgil was gloating or if he was guilty somehow. But then again, when had he ever been able to tell what others were thinking?

“I’m saying- and it could be a horrible idea and you can shoot it down if you don't like it, it’s kinda stupid- but…” Virgil kept tripping over his words, unable to get out whatever it was he was suggesting. “I’m warm and you’re- you’re cold, so if we like… held hands or shared a blanket or something, you could be warm. BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO! Totally your call. You probably don't want to, forget I asked-”

“I’d love that.”

“...are you serious?” The surprise on Virgil’s face almost made Logan laugh. 

“Of course.” he saw Virgil glancing at his hand on the table and flipped it over, his palm facing up. An invitation. Virgil tentatively reached his own hand out, stopping to look at Logan’s face for confirmation. At Logan’s nod, he placed his hand on top of his and laced their fingers together. 

It was instant, like a lightning strike flowing through Logan’s fingers, his arm, all through his body. Just a simple touch, something so small, but it was the most significant thing in the world to Logan. He stared at their joined hands, and he thought he might just cry. Maybe it wasn’t just the warmth he missed. Maybe he missed the affection, too. 

He looked up as Virgil lifted their hands, slowly bringing Logan’s up to his lips. His breath on Logan’s skin was already almost intoxicating, but when he kissed his hand, Logan could’ve fainted. Virgil evidently decided he wasn’t done, kissing up Logan’s arm and pulling him closer. He put his free hand on Logan’s cheek, holding him like a precious artifact- delicate, but firm.  For the first time in a century, Logan was warm. He could get used to this.