#of course i had to throw in an arcane reference i'm brainrotted

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

new year resolutions

hello maggots of mine i am, of course, two days after the whole resolution thing, but i like to consider it a fashionably late entrance to 2025. or whatever year of the lord we're on now.

so here's my new year's resolutions! and goals!

Make life distinctly uncomfortable for at least one person whom I dislike.

Hold a human kidney again.

Never attempt to be good at things. Or knowledgeable. It has not served me at all so far in life. What has worked is being an ignorant slut, which is how I found you all with my good omens post.

Expand my palate of biscuits. I would like some variety.

Aspire for neither progress nor perfection, but a sort of static vibration, like the molecules of a medium during wave motion. Just vibing.

Continue my hunt for a rich twink husband.

Scar all of you further with my concerning thoughts. I'm the dirt under your nails, cupcakes. Nothing's gonna clean me out.

Haha see what I did there. I mean no yes uh. 8th resolution. Be... resolute. Or something.

*turns towards camera with Dora voice* What was your new years resolution? *stares unblinkingly for several seconds before smiling unnervingly* That was mine, too!