#of course I'm starting my birthday with something kind of angsty
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samtheplatypus · 7 months ago
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CW for panic attack and reference to being burnt alive, I guess
Demien always finds himself safe with Julian, and as long as he's there he knows he'll be fine, the candle was just too close. Still, just having Julian there to ground him is more than enough.
This was based of one of @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia HCs (when M6 accidentally trigger MC to be specific)
And as said by our dear Brainrot, this was supposed to be a sweet gesture, a midnight treat, sadly triggering an awful event in Dem's life, or their death (?
I finished this kind of fast because I got hyperfixated and it's been laying in my gallery for weeks, yikes.
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to-thelakes · 9 months ago
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cake-related disaster
pairing; frank castle x fem!reader
summary; you wanted to celebrate frank's birthday properly but the world never really was on your side.
warnings; fluff, reader being a baking disaster, very brief mention of frank's trauma, frank being in love
notes; okay! hello this is day 6 of my fluffbruary fics! i wasn't sure whether i was actually going to get this up but it's here, it's out and she's just cute, this can be read as a part two to rainy day but it can also be read as a one-shot just fine! also, this one-shot nearly went in a more angsty way but since this is fluffbruary, i steered away from the angst (though the angst goblin is making an appearance, it wants me to write something heart-wrenching). it's a little shorter than my previous one but i'm starting to love this pairing with frank. i'm used to reader being a little more passive than the slightly more sarcastic and teasing version i've had in this fic and rainy day, please feel free to let me know if you like this kind of reader because i'm honestly loving the challenge. anyway! i'm done rambling, please enjoy <3
ao3
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It was Frank’s birthday and when he had told you that he hadn’t celebrated for a long time, you knew that you had to do something for him. After everything he had been through with Maria and the kids, you couldn’t blame him but this was a new chapter in your lives and you wanted him to enjoy a day just for him again. Even if it was only for a day and only this year.
But nothing ever really seemed to go how you wanted. It was embarrassing and frustrating but at least your bad luck had brought Frank to you in a capacity that was more than friendship. You’d always love the rain because of what it brought to you. Today, however, your bad luck just pissed you off. A huff escaped your lips as you stared down at the cake. This was your second attempt and somehow it looked worse than the first.
The first had been dry and yet somehow too sticky after cooking for far too long. You had no idea how you managed it since you were usually an amazing baker. But of course, fucking today of all days your skills would fail you. The second cake looked better and you had even levelled it off, just to find that when you took a bite out of it, it tasted salty. There was no other taste, just salt and you had to spit it out into his bin.
“Are you fucking with me?” You said as you dipped your finger into the jar that you had used. When you tasted the white granules, it was fucking salt. Why the fuck had Frank put the salt in a jar? Your hands ran across your face and you took a deep breath. It was okay. One more time and it would be fine.
You dumped the other cake into the bin and returned to the counter. The icing had already been made hours ago at this point and despite it melting slightly, it looked fine. It was the only thing that had gone right all day. With a deep breath, you double and triple-checked everything as you followed the recipe again. It seemed to be going well and that was good.
But then you heard the door of the apartment close. Your head shot up and you turned back to see Frank standing in the entryway. He was taking his boots off. He knew that you were in his apartment, he had let you in that morning and you had spent the morning eating breakfast before he went off to work at the construction site. He knew you’d still be here.
But when you didn’t say anything to him, he looked up, meeting your shocked and dazed expression. His eyebrows knitted together.
“Everythin’ alright?” He asked softly. You stared at him and then your head twisted back to the half-mixed cake batter.
“Why are you home? I thought you weren’t back till later?” You responded, turning around fully and doing your best to hide the cake better. But the flour, sugar and old cake batter splattered across your shirt exposed what you were doing. Well, that and the rest of the baking ingredients on the counters but there was nothing you could do about that.
“Eh, he let me off early. Said I wasn’t needed,” Frank explained as he walked closer. A smile was cracking across his face as he took in your appearance, “What are you hidin’?” He asked, a teasing lilt to his tone. You looked up at him before you let your shoulders drop. There was no point in trying to change anything now.
“I was making you a birthday cake and I know you said you don’t celebrate so don’t start but I wanted to make you something and I fucked it up,” You explained. Frank tilted his head and his amused grin settled into a soft look. He looked at you, not entirely what to say to that confession, “I made two cakes before this one and they were awful. Why the fuck do you put salt in a jar? What is wrong with you?” You asked, his features making you a little more relaxed. The embarrassment that was creeping up your neck in the form of heat didn’t seem so overwhelming now.
“Y’know, I was gonna give you a kiss f’being so sweet but then ya ruined it,” Frank said as he stepped closer. You chuckled and looked up into his eyes. The adoration in them still scared you sometimes. It felt so new, so terrifying. You had been friends for so long and you thought that he’d never want to admit he loved you. Yet, he had and here you were.
“When you taste the finished product, you’ll want to give it to me,” You muttered in response. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in.
“Mhm, might just give it to ya anyway,” He responded. A grin began to spread across your face as you gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Go on then.” Frank leant down and captured your lips into a soft kiss. Your arms moved from resting against his chest to wrapping around his neck, standing up on your tiptoes to get a better angle. He nibbled at your bottom lip and you couldn’t help the giggle that you let out.
“You need a shower,” You muttered as you pulled away from the kiss. Frank’s eyes reopened and he looked down at you, baffled.
“So hard to please,” He said. You shrugged, letting your hands rest back against his chest.
“Why don’t you get a shower and then by the time you’re done, I’ll have a treat waiting,” You requested. Frank contemplated it for a moment, leaning forward and pressing another soft kiss to your lips. Then he nodded and let go of your waist.
“I’ll be waiting,” He said. You watched him saunter off to the bedroom, biting your lip to try and stop the smile from growing into a grin. You still felt like a teenager every single time he was around you. It was embarrassing but you loved it. You loved him and you wanted this birthday to be special. So, you turned back to the cake batter and continued, determined to get it right.
And you did. 
When you presented Frank with the finished product, he grinned like you had never seen before. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as you rambled about how long it took and that you wanted it to be a surprise. You also gave him the few presents that you had picked up for him and he seemed to just melt.
It had been a long time since he’d been loved so fiercely and he didn’t even know what to do with himself. And despite being paralysed by the love he felt towards you, he knew that he was going to make your next birthday the best one you’d ever have. 
<3
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asinwhywereyouborn · 2 months ago
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The Hardest Night
Word Count: 3,204
Summary: Minerva McGonagall tries to make it through Sirius Black's birthday
Warnings: mentions of death, kind of angsty?, fluffy, this is the first time I've really written something like this, so the chances are high it's terrible lol. Unedited (I edited it but I'm dyslexic, so like, ya know)
AO3 Link: here-
If Minerva McGonagall knew one thing, it was the sound of a chandelier crashing down.
It was Tuesday, November 3rd, 1998, and she had started the morning on a rough note. Sirius Black’s birthday. Sirius had been a bright boy and a wonderful man, though he often found himself in troubling situations. She mourned him, as she had mourned James and Lily, as she mourned the students who gave their lives in the Battle of Hogwarts. She carried them all, a weight on her shoulders, extra wrinkles on her already-aged face.
As she left her quarters, she prepared to face the day, forcing smiles and correcting students’ behavior. Everything is going to be okay, she thought to herself. She held her books close to her, wishing she could don her feline form and spend her day on the roof, alone with her thoughts, but alas, it was a school day.
She considered, for a moment, canceling classes for the day. After all, her students deserved a rest – they had been working so hard, even with all they had witnessed the previous school year – and she was headmistress now. She could do as she pleased and be met with minimal questioning. However, she feared that if she allowed herself to feel, to stop when the rest of the world continued, she would be allowing Voldemort to win, even in a small way. Not to mention classes were over-filled with seventh and sixth years retaking classes – as ordered by the Ministry – so their grades from the previous school year meant little to nothing.
Some seventh-year students had opted out of the do-over year, having received mediocre or better scores on their N.E.W.T.S. and O.W.L.s, and asked to never return to a place with such bittersweet memories. These were all granted, and it had been decided by the Ministry that, so long as the individual could show that they were qualified, the Hogwarts class of 1998 would be given the benefit of the doubt in their future endeavors.
As such, Minerva had promised herself that she would be a rock for the seventh years that had returned, to all Hogwarts students that had returned. She smiled more now, never missed a Quidditch game, and assisted struggling students, more so than she had in years previous. She pulled herself into a mother hen role, enjoying the love from the students, but still feeling empty herself.
Harry Potter and his friends had chosen to return for their do-over, as they had missed the entirety of their seventh year searching for Voldemort’s horcruxes. It was only two months into the school year, but they had all done incredibly well so far, even Ron, which had surprised everyone, especially Ron.
She noted, as she walked towards the great hall, that today would likely be incredibly difficult for Harry as well, and decided that she would make herself as available to him as possible. He would, of course, have Hermione and the Weasleys (and he had been spending considerably more time with Longbottom and Lovegood), but she wanted to be there, just in case.
This had been a smart decision, she realized, when Harry stopped her just outside the hall.
“Could I talk to you for a moment, Professor?” he asked, his eyes dark and sad.
“Give me a quick moment to grab a scone, then we’ll head up to my office, alright?” she responded, smiling at him warmly.
He nodded, so she walked quickly, in that way that commanded power and authority, and grabbed a raspberry scone from the Hufflepuff table. She quickly made her way back to the doors, motioning for Harry to follow her to her chambers.
Once they were seated, Harry fidgeting with the sleeves of his robes, she asked, “What is it that you wished to speak with me about, Mr. Potter?” She took a bite, looking at him expectantly.
“I-I don’t mean to sound odd,” he says, still looking at his sleeves. “But I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about Sirius.” He glanced up. “It’s his, uh-”
“His birthday, yes,” Minerva finished. “I know.”
“It’s just that everyone who knew him – well, everyone but you – is dead, and I wanted to know a bit about what he was like when he was my age.” Harry was still fidgeting, but his eyes were trained firmly on her face.
Minerva smiled at him. She took a moment to select a tale, then began with a deep breath. “Exactly twenty-three years ago today, Sirius Black turned 15,” she began. She looked to the ceiling, reminiscing. “Him and his roommates, Lupin, Pettigrew, and – of course – your father, woke at the crack of dawn to set off fireworks before the sun came up. They exploded brilliantly, as if the boys had made them themselves (for all I know, they did), and we all took a moment to enjoy their splendor before sending the boys back to bed with mild detention.
“At every meal, they sang “happy birthday” so loudly and with such energy that even the faculty couldn’t help but sing. They were loud, impossible to ignore, and oh-so-loving.
“There was an eclipse that day, and Sirius was so happy that such an important thing could happen on his birthday.”
“What kind of eclipse?” Harry cut in, a faint smile lighting on his lips.
“A solar eclipse, I believe,” Minerva said, happy to see a smile on the boy. “I expect young Mr. Lupin was hardly affected, perhaps becoming more “human” than he had been since he was five years old. Sirius loved this, of course, as Remus was far more important to him than I think either of them was willing to admit.
“Thick as thieves, those two were. A different relationship than Sirius and James. Further than brothers but closer to something I could never quite place.” She waved a hand at the air in front of her. “They traversed the school singing David Bowie all day long, and – I don’t know if you know this – but your father was the only decent singer in their group. And even he was, erm, challenged?” She grimaced, remembering the tone-deaf Gryffindor boys parading around, arms around each other’s shoulders, singing at the tops of their lungs.
Harry laughed, and she did, too, finding it was genuine. “There was also some Beatles, if I recall,” McGonagall continued. “I heard Yellow Submarine enough times that day to last me a lifetime.
“But of course, being as they were, they simply could not get through the day without shenanigans, so, they charmed buckets of water over every door in the castle to fall on people’s heads when they walked into rooms, transfigured Mrs. Norris into a teacup, and decorated the Slytherin common room in red and gold.”
“Wait, Mrs. Norris was alive then?” Harry interrupted, bewildered.
inerva nodded. “I’ve long since stopped questioning the cat, Mr. Potter,” she said, her own eyes wide behind her spectacles. “I think she might be older than me.”
Harry laughed again, the sound ringing through the room. She passed him a tin of Ginger Newts.
“They raided the kitchen, filled their robes with sweets and cake and bread, and ran back to their dormitory as if they were being chased by nargles,” she said as Harry bit into a biscuit. “I specifically recall Pettigrew tripping on apples he was spilling, and the rest of the boys nagging him for nabbing fruit. It was a special occasion, after all.”
A sharp rapping sounded. Both turned toward the door as stone scraped against stone and hurried footsteps raced up the stairs.
“Minerva, come quick!” Sprout shouted, running back down the stairs as soon as her small, turnip-shaped head popped over the top of the rail. “A problem in the main corridor!”
Minerva and Harry stood quickly, biscuits forgotten, and the headmistress took her place ahead of the worried boy. Out of habit, his wand was drawn. She steadied it with a wrinkled hand and a soft smile, speed-walking in front of him towards the main hall that led into the school.
A crash sounded, followed by a scream. Laughter sounded as Minerva and Harry ran towards the doors.
The 700-year-old crystal chandelier was in shatters on the ground, students all well away from the carnage, though one first year stood with his hands in his hair and a bewildered look on his face.
“Repairo,” McGonagall said quickly, waving her wand at the crystal on the stones, and looked up to watch it fix itself.
It came crashing back down, clinking and singing, as any concentration she had on her spell disappeared as she beheld four young boys near the ceiling. Or, rather, their ghosts.
James Potter looked the same as he had in his fifth year, as did Remus Lupin. Both wore their Gryffindor robes, while Sirius Black looked closer to 19 or 20 years old in his leather jacket and combat boots. Fred Weasley was the same he had been that day he flew out of Hogwarts with fireworks shooting from the back of his broom into Umbridge’s face. All four faces were lit with joy and mischief, and the young Black swooped down to the ground.
“Well, Professor, you couldn’t have expected me to do nothing for my birthday,” he said as he glided in front of her, laughing at the shock on her face. She felt unable to move, a myriad of emotions swarming her.
Harry ran in front of her, Ginny and Ron close behind him as they beheld their loved ones.
“Dad!” Harry shouted at the ceiling, whooping with joy as his father plummeted down at him. Lupin quickly followed while Fred decided to cut to the chase and dove straight through his sister’s head. She laughed, tears streaming down her face as she held Ron close. Laughter filled the hall as The Marauders dove and played and sang and filled the place with chaos.
Minerva just stood, frozen, watching as her students played and laughed among the four most chaotic individuals to ever grace Hogwarts’ halls. Waves of emotion crashed into her, over and over and over again. Joy, sadness, confusion, joy again, guilt.
Yes. That was why she had been feeling terrible those past few months. She felt guilty for not being able to save them. It had not been her fault, of course, and she knew that, but she felt that she should have done more. She was their matron, their teacher, their guardian, their protector. She had saved thousands of lives, maybe more, that day in May, but it still wasn’t enough.
But here, now, they were returning. Behind her, the doors burst back open, a flurry of ghosts and spirits barrelling into the gathered crowd of children, led by Nearly Headless Nick. There were shouts and cries out as Lavender Brown and Colin Creevey dove towards Harry and Ron, smiling and waving and shouting their joys. Vincent Crabbe dive-bombed the Slytherins and was met with joyous yelling. Nymphadora Tonks flew around the Hufflepuffs, and each of the fallen soldiers of The Battle of Hogwarts flew into the room, smiling and laughing at being reunited with their friends.
Minerva took her leave, quietly repairing the chandelier. She slid behind the crowd of students out the doors and walked quickly back to her office.
Once the statue was back in place, she collapsed to the floor, violent sobs wracking her body. She held her back to the cold stone wall and her face in her hands as she finally released the tears that had been building for months. Images passed across her closed lids. Colin Creevey with his ridiculously oversized camera. Vincent Crabbe stealing cupcakes on Christmas. James Potter winning the House Cup in his sixth year. Fred Weasley attending classes as his brother after a raucous Quidditch party the night before. Sirius Black sitting in the library with his nose buried in a History of Magic textbook. Lavender Brown pulling Ronald Weasley around the castle looking for places to hide. Remus Lupin smiling as his friends filtered into the infirmary after a full moon. Pandora Rosier playing in the woods with thestrals. Severus Snape laughing with Lily Evans by the lake as she danced to music only she could hear. Students laughing at Yule balls and dancing in the courtyard under bright stars. Loud clapping and laughter in the great hall during The Sorting. Children running through Hogsmeade, Zonko’s products and butterbeer in every hand. She reminisced each beautiful, tiny moment she had witnessed in 42 years of teaching. All the while, she cried.
She finished telling herself the story she had been recounting to Harry. How she had found Sirius crying in the courtyard after dinner, begging her to do something about his parents. Pleading with her as tears streamed down his face, telling her the horrible things they had done to him and his brother, what his cousins had experienced at the hands of their parents. Narcissa was no longer a student and was already married to Lucious Malfoy, which meant she was safer than Sirius, but Bellatrix was just as evil as her family and had made years of their lives a living hell.
She remembered how she had cried afterward, when he had gone back to the party his friends had planned and pretended everything was okay. She remembered barging into Dumbledore’s office, screaming at him for keeping students in such terrible situations, berating him with curses and insults that she hadn’t used since her youth, only to be met with, “There is nothing to be done, Minerva.” She spent the rest of Sirius’ years at Hogwarts ensuring he knew he was valued and loved. She would give him extra gifts on his birthday and at Christmas, make extra credit assignments in areas he wanted to learn more about, and make certain that he always had enough to eat. She loved Sirius, wishing often that she could have done more to help him. She told him how proud she was that he had run away and sent thanks and gifts to the Potters. She had done her best, and yet never felt like it was enough.
Every feeling she had pushed down for the last few months rose to the surface, choking her and overpowering her mind. She held herself, arms around her chest, as she sobbed, overwhelmed and helpless, feeling more alone than she had been since her husband had died of a Venomous Tentacula bite three years after they were married.
All of her time, all of her energy had been devoted to her students, so much so that she had not taken a moment for herself since before Dumbledore died. She cried, finally letting herself breathe. She was surprised by how calming it was.
“Minerva McGonagall never had children, but she loved each student as if he had been hers,” a voice said in front of her. Minerva looked up, mouth open in surprise, to find Sirius Black floating before her, his legs crossed and his eyes soft. His hair rippled on a phantom wind as he smiled at her. She wiped her tears, attempting to compose herself.
Her tears couldn’t be contained as he continued speaking.
“Minerva McGonagall never had children, but she treated each child she came across as if he were the most important person she had ever met. Minerva McGonagall never had children, but she was a mother to me.”
************
In the following months, The Marauders became an integral part of Hogwarts life.
They had, of course, adopted Fred as their fourth member, returning themselves to their post as the most chaotic and mischievous group in the school, and made themselves invaluable around the castle. Remus worked as a teacher’s assistant in Defense Against The Dark Arts, greatly enjoying being able to work with children again. Sirius made it his mission to tutor every struggling student in history and astronomy while James worked the Quidditch pitch, assisting learning fliers and seasoned players alike. After all, he had been one of the greatest Quidditch players in Hogwarts’ history. Fred helped with charms practice and taught students quicker and more hidden paths through the castle.
It was odd, at first, to have so many extra ghosts in the castle, but all reservations were quickly forgotten as they became an intrinsic part of life at Hogwarts. Lavender liked to show the house elves where clothes were hidden so they could avoid them if they chose to, Colin spent hours listening to students’ hardships, becoming a counselor of sorts alongside Tonks. Even Nearly Headless Nick, the Bloody Baron, and the rest of Hogwarts’ original ghosts (aside from Myrtle, who remained crying in the girl’s toilet) found tasks and duties around the castle, helping as much as possible.
Students returned to a more normal version of their lives, trauma not gone, but healing quicker than any of them thought possible due to the return of their loved ones. Quidditch resumed, pranks were in full force, and Ron Weasley had opened up a small joke box business from outside the Gryffindor common room, carrying on his brother’s legacy.
Sometime in April, Minerva sat at the head of the Great Hall and watched students eating their meals while the ghosts mingled. She noted each child and saw how their scars healed and faded. Some never would, but students came to terms with this via Remus Lupin showing off his scars, explaining that they had never faded, but they remained a part of who he was. As for the emotional scars, students had a better support system than any class before had.
During dinner, Harry and Hermione asked the original Marauders why they were so young, far more so than they had been when they passed.
“Well, my happiest years were spent here, in this school,” Remus said. “Before the war had really affected us, before we lost our families, before everything. We were at peace here. We were in control of the chaos.”
“And as happy as your mother and I were when you were born, Harry,” James added, “we simply couldn’t match the feeling we had at school. When you were born, you were a target, we were targets, so we couldn’t truly be happy when we were always afraid.”
“Unless, of course, you're me,” Sirius said, sprawling on an invisible surface in that dramatic way of his. “Away from my parents? Check. With my best friends? Check. A new godson to fashion into a mini-me? Double check.”
Harry laughed, the students around him joining in. Even McGonagall chuckled from her nearby post where she could hear.
“I was the happiest I had ever been that Halloween morning, Harry,” Sirius continued. “Leaving that house, thinking you were all safe, knowing that I finally had a family of my own. That was the happiest moment of my life.”
Hermione smiled, tears in her eyes, as Harry grinned, sitting taller and prouder. Minerva looked away, hiding her own smile, and took a deep breath.
Everything is going to be okay.
This time when she said it, she believed it.
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thewriterowl · 5 months ago
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hiiii, it's my birthday today, and I would love to read your (dark) din spoils Luke on his birthday, or it could be Vader.
Thank you so so much (for taking your time), and I love your fics, you're incredible!
GASP!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope you have an incredible and amazing birthday! All the wishes and happiness to you!
Honestly, I was tempted to write a sorta 5+1 fic with angsty Luke birthdays and then one he celebrates with soft Din XD so this is up my alley too.
I'm thinking Luke didn't really tell Din--maybe because he was kidnapped by him or maybe he doesn't yet realize Din is dark and yandere over him...but regardless, he just doesn't mention the birthday.
When he was younger he only had small celebrations for his birthday. Owen and Beru really did try for him but they weren't well off and there were a lot of harsh years with the moisture-farming and the Hutt's greedy grip was suffocating. It would take most out of them to just ensure they survived for another harvest. But they gave him what they could (and there was always a mysterious special toy given to him from someone else...Luke didn't know who) but he was the only child for miles upon miles and save for a rather kind, but older boy, from the Darklighter family, there was no one else to celebrate birthdays with. Not like any of the other children would come anyway...he wasn't very popular. Then he was busy in the Rebellion. Then he found out about his past. Then how things clicked that he was born on Empire Day. Then how most wanted to celebrate Leia's birthday, the princess of the fallen world and grand general of the war, and how they were keeping their relation a secret (more or less). Then how he just started to become more and more uncomfortable with attention and crowds and...
In the end, he just put it to the side. It didn't matter.
Sadly, it matters to Din.
It matters a lot to Din.
Din could splice into most anything with a bit of work and with his bounty-hunter penchant for research and obtaining information, he would find it on his own without much issue. But he wanted to hear it from Luke. So he pushes a bit. Even providing his own, though he wasn't big on his own either, as a trade. It still takes a bit but finally, finally, Din gets his victory.
"It falls on what was Empire Day." Luke sighed, mildly amused and mostly perplexed that this man was so invested in this information. "Of course, timing could be a little askew. Empire day started on Coruscant time and we all know the systems have their own different calendars and I was actually born on some place called Polis Massa and--"
"You're rambling."
"Well, I don't like talking about it." He grumbled.
"Why not?"
"Because it's...just not...comfortable for me." His mother and how he has no memories of her but somehow, unfairly--though he tells himself to not think like that, his sister did. How he lost so much the moment he took his first breath. How his existences sometimes felt like such a burden. It really gave him a sort of existential crisis he didn't think befitting a Jedi Master. "But, there, now you know."
And now Din indeed does know.
If Din is the (dark) Mand'alor, he will make this out to be some sort of holiday for his people. He'd gaslight Luke in saying they need something to replace the blight this day once was. Having it be a celebration of the consort, the one who was genuinely a reason why they could celebrate, would mean wonders to them. Just a little sprinkle of guilt to make it happen and the promise that Luke wouldn't have to mingle about with a lot of people like some dignitary.
He is given so much love from the people. Din shows him how everyone is celebrating. There are decorations made from his favorite colors, vendors are selling foods from Tatooine and other things he's enjoyed during his years of travel, his story of meeting Din is shared about along with all of his good deeds when he was the traveling Jedi trying to heal a broken galaxy, good is done in honor of his name, and the people are interviewed to give him well wishes and love on his birthday for him to watch in comfort and privacy.
It's so overwhelming the first year that Luke probably breaks down sobbing. He can't tell if it is a good or bad cry but Din seems to have expected this (perhaps even wanted it) and just stays close and intimately rubs his back as he murmurs, "There you go, let it all out. You had so much...too much." Which Luke, in his state, doesn't understand but still does as told.
When he wakes the next day, he feels foolish and shameful that he hid out crying like a loon when people were being so kind to him.
Din just gives him a gentle hush, "It's your day, my heart. And that is what you wanted and needed. It was a good event for them and a healing one for you. That is a success. And next year will be the same."
Of course, Din isn't done.
This man, dark or not, is a caretaker. He is going to give Luke anything and everything. Remember, he studies and hunts and always gets his answers.
He gives Luke things the blond didn't even realize he wanted. Things Luke never thought about. Things he hadn't even laid eyes upon.
It's hundreds of gifts, ranging from small, free rocks that shimmered Luke's favorite colors, to the best oil bath in the system for Artoo, to robes to match Din's, and his own private hanger so he can design, build, and take apart all the mechanical things his heart desires.
It's too much for Luke. He can't even begin to properly thank Din, unsure how to even accept any of it.
Din just smiles, his eyes glinting with some sort of ploy, as he purrs out something so tender and very much a threat, "Oh love...I haven't even begun. You, my consort, will have so much more."
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stardustintheabyss · 2 years ago
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Soulmated To Sunshine Eyes
Haikyuu soulmate!au
Bokuto x fem!reader
Warnings: swearing, lil angsty
Sum: One of your childhood best friends, Tetsuro Kuroo, begs you to be Nekomas team manager just in time for the summer training camp, you agreed not knowing who you'd find there
When you turn 17 a tattoo representing your soul mate appears. When they are near(2 mile radius)it tingles but both people have to have them first. It stops when you kiss.
A/n: this has been sitting in my wips for a year and I promised myself I'd get this done in time for my loves birthday and I finished with an hour and a half to spare (shout out to pressurized procrastination). Anyways happy birthday to my favorite beefy owl 😚
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"Y/nnnnn! C'mon it'll be fun! You come to all the games anyway and you're good at hyping up the team, even Kenma, and giving advice. And I've seen the statistics notebook you keep. Please, please, please!" Tetsuro begged.
You laughed and rolled your eyes at your best friend.  For a few weeks now, well more so since Kenma joined, he'd been trying to get you to be the Nekoma volleyball manager. And honestly he was starting to make a good argument. "If I say yes will you quit bugging me?" You joked as you lightly punched his shoulder.
"Yes ma'am!" He smiled.
"Fine then. You're lucky I love you and Kens." You laughed.
"Oh. By the way we have a week long training camp in a week." He grinned.
"What." That little shit, he KNOWS your 17th birthday is in a couple weeks. The same week as the training camp apparently. Maybe this was his way of trying to cheer you up... You let out a sigh.
He shoved some papers into your hands, hyena laughing before running for his life, "Here's the permission slip! Bye!"
"Tetsuro, I swear I'm gonna kick your ass next time I see you!" You yelled a half empty threat after him. After letting out a sigh you realized at least you'd be with your two best friends when you got your soul mate tattoo. You'd been watching Tetsuro and Kenma play for years. You let out a small smile, you really did love volleyball even though you weren't really good enough to be on a team but played well enough to practice with Tetsu when Kenma refused. Which was more often than not. So maybe being apart of the team as a manager would be fun.
And that was how you got where you are now, in one of the gyms at Shinzen high school. You were a little nervous about being the manager but the team made you feel welcome. Even Coach Nekomata seemed to like you. Probably because you didn't have a problem putting the boys in their place when they needed it. You weren't what he was expecting. This training camp gave you the chance to find your footing before a real game. And you were having a blast. It was the second to last day and you'd found a nice rhythm. You were writing down some stats and advice on the game the team just won when you heard a boisterous voice from the court next to yours. "Oh yeah! Nice one Akaashi!" You looked to see the Fukurodani captian praising his setter. If you remembered correctly his name was Bokuto Kotaro and he was one of the top 5 aces in the country. Who were you kidding, of course you remembered, you were borderline obsessed with picking out talented players and learning as much as you could about them. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and seemed like an amazing person in general. The kind of person people gravitate towards. And to be honest he wasn't bad looking either. "He's a great player isn't he?" Tetsuro said. You nearly jumped out of your skin.
You smacked his chest, your cheeks warm from getting caught staring. "God Tetsu clear your throat or something. You almost gave me a heart attack." Scowling at him you grabbed his water bottle and took a drink. "Yeah, he's pretty powerful but he also has a great setter to back him up and can read his moods too."
"Mmhm." He leaned in closer, taking in your reddened face. His eyes twinkled with knowing and mischief. "You think he's hot don't ya."
"What? No! Shut up!" You screeched, a little too loud. Loud enough to have number 4 look your way and give you a bright smile,  his eyes crinkled almost shut. You blushed, how could you not smile back at the sweet owl, so you returned an embarrassed small one. You turned glaring at your best friend as you shoved your notebook into Tetsuro's hands. Back at normal volume, more flustered than mad, "Fuck off Tetsu. What you need to work on is written in there. I need to go refill water bottles."
"Hey, later come by gym 3. Lev, I and a few other guys are having a 3 vs 3." He chuckled.
"Maybe, maybe not." You grumbled.
"Please Y/n, we could use your eyes." Tetsuro teased.
"Fine. But only cause I'm an awesome manager and you're hopeless without me." You mocked back before leaving to do your managerial duties.
"You know you shouldn't tease Y/n like that Tetsuro. Not with her 17th birthday tomorrow." Kenma said quietly as he came up next to him.
"Why? She knows I'm just kidding around." Kuroo told his boyfriend.
"Because she can still kick your ass if she feels like it." Kenma smirked before taking a drink of water.
"True but nah, she loves me too much." Kuroo couldn't wait for the little surprise he had for you later in gym 3....only a little afraid of what you might do to him. He was planning on asking you anyway but this development made things...interesting.
Bokuto had seen you around the training camp all week. Usually you were with Kuroo and Kenma. But this was the first time he'd heard you speak. He wondered what you were shouting at Kuroo about. He looked over giving you his biggest smile hoping it might brighten your mood, if just a little. In return you gave a soft but pretty one before shoving a notebook into Kuroo's hands and briskly walking away. "Hey, hey 'Kaashi, do you know who that is?" He nodded in your direction, you were gathering water bottles.
"The Nekoma manager I assume." Akaashi said disinterested.
Bokuto's cheeks rosied, "I know that! I meant do you know her name?"
"Huh uh." Akaashi smirked catching the color in Bokuto's face. "But earlier Kuroo mentioned he'd try and get their manager to come to the 3 vs 3. Something about 'she has a good eye', I don't know. So maybe you'll meet her tonight." That small smile you gave Bokuto lit up his eyes more than usual. It didn't take long for Akaashi to surmise that his best friend had a crush.
Your duties were done for the day and you decided to go run some laps around the track before heading to gym 3. You thought it might help to get rid of some nervous energy you had about tomorrow. In a few short hours you would have your soulmate tattoo. You didn't know why you were anxious about it, it's not like it mattered. It was bullshit, it wouldn't change anything. You shook your head changing your clothes. It was still pretty warm out so you'd changed into just a sports bra and leggings. Putting your ear buds in you cranked your favorite playlist and started running.
You didn't know how long you ran for but the sky was darker now and your leg muscles were twitching. You also weren't as anxious about tomorrow. Smiling you headed to gym 3 to go watch the game, wondering who the other 4 players were. Your mouth dropped open when you saw who Lev and Tetsuro were playing with. Two from Karasuno and two from Fukurodani. One of which was the ace you had been caught staring at. Briefly you wondered if Kenma would forgive you or help you murder Tetsu.
They were on their second set and you didn't want to interrupt anyone's momentum. You stayed in the doorway silently watching until there was a break in the play. "Oya?!" You shouted to get your best friends attention.
"Oya oya! Y/n, you made it! Bout time!" Kuroo yelled back before walking towards you. Everyone's head swiveled in your direction.
"Oya oya oya!" Bokuto added almost reflexively with a smile to yours and Kuroo's greeting followed by what looked like a scolding from his team mate.
You chuckled quietly to yourself before addressing Testu. "Yeah, I was just running some laps." Your eyes narrowed at him, letting him know he was in for it later for not specifying who he was practicing with.
"Nervous about tomorrow are we?" Tetsuro quietly asked you, for no one else to hear. He handed you a water, concern in his eyes. He may be a goofball and push your buttons but he's always been there when you needed him. Who knew the rooster-haired boy was such a mother hen at heart.
Blowing out a breath, "I'm fine Tets, thank you though." You gulped some water down as Tetsuro ushered you towards the other players. Not quite believing your words.
"Guys, this is Y/n L/n, the new Nekoma manager." Kuroo introduced you, slinging an arm around your shoulder.
Karasuno's number 10 walked over to you holding his hand out, " Hi! I'm Sho—."
You interrupted him, eyes sparkling and grabbed his hand to shake. Your volleyball geekiness was about to show. "You're Hinata Shoyo , Karasuno's Trojan whirlwind middle blocker!" Pointing, you named off the others, " Karasuno's Tsukishima Kei, the poker-faced perceptive bean pole middle blocker. Fukurodani's Akaashi Keiji, the analytical and supportive setter vice captian." You bit the inside of your cheek trying to not sound fangirly. "And last but not least, Fukurodani's Bokuto Kotaro, the powerful owl ace captian. Also one of Japans top 5 aces." Your eyes flicked over to Bokuto and lingered. A small shy smile forming on your lips and nervous laugh leaving your mouth. "Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a know it all. I just kinda have a knack for picking out talented and skilled players...and kind of obsessing. Oh and you all can just call me Y/n by the way."
"And boom. That's why Y/n is the best manager ever. Give her 10 minutes of a game and she'll pick out the specialties of a skilled players on any team!" Tetsuro praised.
"And she's nice when she helps me, she's patient unlike Yaku." Lev added.
"Oh, shut up Tetsuro." You blushed. "And you're welcome Lev. I just noticed you get less frustrated and play better when supported that way is all."
"Thanks Y/n! Well I am a pretty awesome player, right 'Kaashi?" Bokuto puffed his chest out. A faint red tint to his cheeks only Kuroo and Akaashi noticed.
Akaashi rolled his eyes, "Shut up Bo. No one likes someone who's full of themselves."
You could have sworn you saw Bokuto's hair deflate along with his happy attitude. You didn't like seeing him down. Before you could think you squeezed his arm comfortingly. "Hey, there is nothing wrong with being confident and believing in yourself." You gave him a wink, "Besides you're too sweet a guy to be an asshole about it."
Bokuto instantly perked up at your words. "You're so kind Y/n! Thanks, Akaashi means well but can be a little  blunt sometimes." Bokuto lifted you up into a hug, your feet leaving the floor.
"Y–you're welcome." Your face felt like it was on fire and sparks were shooting across where your bare skin met his. Gingerly you hugged him back as he twirled you both in a circle. He was so much bigger than you, you felt tiny in his muscle defined arms but oddly enough safe.
When Bokuto set you down Akaashi looked like he was about to scold him again. "Bo...we talked about boundaries."
Bokuto had an embarrassed red tint to his ears but still had his wide infections smile. "Sorry."
"It's okay." You patted Bokuto's chest and smiled up at him and Akaashi, "I get hugs like that from the guys all the time, especially Lev."
Suddenly Hinata was next to you jumping up and down.
"Ahh! You gave me a nickname! The Trojan Whirlwind, so cool! That's that sneaky greek horse right? That's way better than just 'decoy'! You're amazing Y/n!" Hinata exclaimed, wonder twinkled in his eyes.
"I don't know...you really think so?" Excitedly you started to geek out more, talking fast. "Actually I know Karasuno's starting line up. You guys have a pretty talented team! And you guys pick up some tricks from other teams too I noticed. You truly are crows, omnivorous. Kagayama has wicked pinpoint accurate sets, Sawamura's great recives, Nishin—."
"As enlightening as this conversation is we have a game to finish and I don't want to be here any longer than I have to." Tsukishima scoffed adjusting his glasses.
"You don't need to be so rude Tsukishima. Ignore him, he's just salty because he didn't get a cool nickname." Hinata assured you.
You laughed, "No worries. He's right though, I came to watch a game." You glanced at the score board."Hmm. Cats vs Owls and Cats are winning? Here I thought Tetsu's team would be at a disadvantage."
Akaashi stated jabbing his thumb at Hinata and Bokuto, "Why, I've got the shorty and this big baby."
"Because they have to deal with his annoying ass." You snickered and you swore you heard Tsukishima snort as you poked Tetsu in the side. Everyone failed holding in their chuckles.
"Rude, Y/n, rude." Tetsu said as he poked you back.
"You two seem awfully close, are you together?" Hinata questioned, his head tilted to the side.
Lev, Tetsuro and you erupted into a fit a laughter. Between wheezes of catching your breath you answered. "Ew, no. I've know Tets since we were kids, he's like the brother I never wanted. Kenma too infact,  except I actually like him. And besides Tetsuro and Kenma are soulmates, poor Kenma right?"
"Well we did kiss that one time." Kuroo fired back, bringing a finger to his cheek.
Everyone but Tsukishima had 'Huh? Excuse me?!' looks on their faces. It was hilarious.
Laughing rolling your eyes, "We were 13 and it was spin the bottle. You weren't the only one I kissed that night, you're not special. In fact it made my skin crawl."
"That hurts Y/n. But I still love you." Kuroo pouted, crushing you in a hug.
"Disgusting." You smiled up at him while pushing his head away,  "Yeah, yeah love you too idiot. Now get back to your game."
"Aye aye miss manager!" Kuroo called.
"Don't call me that you rooster haired hyena!" You snarked right back while smacking a loose volleyball towards his head, narrowly missing.
"Okay, I see the brother/sister relationship now." Hinata giggled.
You sat on a bench nearby to watch. It was a pretty close game, your leg was bouncing with excitement. You always got this antsy watching a good game. You were taking a drink of your water sideways still trying to watch the game. Maybe if you hadn't been you would've been able to dodge one of Bokuto's crazy strong cut shot spikes after it landed a point. Next thing you know you were on the ground, right side of your face stinging. You let out a low groan sitting up, rubbing your aching cheek.
"Oh my god Y/n! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" The ace asked helping you up.
"Wow! That was a strong kill! It knocked me over even after it hit the floor!" You gushed, stars in your eyes.
Bokuto's face flushed and his golden eyes met yours. How had you not noticed how pretty they were, like the last brilliant rays of sunshine before the sun sets. They flickered with...you don't know what exactly. Like he was trying to remember something maybe? But it was gone as soon as it came. His hand still remaining on your arm. "But are you okay? You're not hurt?"
Shaking your head and giving him a warm smile, "Yeah, I'm fine owl boy. It wouldn't be the first time I took a ball to the face." Your eyes widend, realizing how that sounded. "V-volleyball, it wouldn't be the first time I was hit by a rogue volleyball!" Hopefully your injured cheek was covering up your embarrassment.
Kuroo smirked slapping Bokuto on the back, "Don't worry Bokuto, Y/n's a tough girl. Oh and that's our point, it was out."
You frowned at Tetsuro. "No it wasn't. It was in, barely. Really it was an amazing shot."
"This is favoritism." Tetsu whined.
"No, it's what happened." You pointedly glared at him, ignoring his implications. At least he didn't say anything about the embarrassing words you just said. "Ask Tsukishima then." Everybody turned to the blonde. Tsukishima shrugged, "She's got a good eye, I'll give her that."
You stuck your tongue out at Kuroo. "See. Now go get the point back."
The game continued for another 15 minutes before the Cats won. It was a close game. The long day had hit you as you leaned against Kuroo after helping clean up. You yawned, "Mmm. Good thing you won, otherwise I was gonna up your training regimen."
Kuroo laughed softly, ruffling your hair. "Oh ye of little faith."
Rubbing your tired eyes, "I have all the faith in you, you jerk." You waved to the other players, "Night guys. It was nice officially meeting you." Saying to no one in particular but subconsciously in your sleepy state your gaze landed on Bokuto. "Good luck in your games tomorrow, unless you play Nekoma of course." You were met with a chorus of goodnights and a couple thank yous from Hinata and Akaashi. Only you, Tetsuro, Akaashi and Bokuto remained.
"You able to make it to your room Y/n? You're practically asleep on your feet." Bokuto asked.
"Hm. Oh. Yeah, it'll just take me awhile. I'm slow when I'm sleepy." You replied as you shuffled towards the door, your eyes half closed. You couldn't wait to flop into bed.
Kuroo kneeled down in front of you. "C'mon and climb up. I don't feel like taking forever walking you back."
You snorted as you wrapped your arms around Kuroo's shoulders for a piggy back ride. "Thanks Tets." You murmured as you layed your head down and your eyes fluttered shut. Not fully awake you drifted between slumber and reality.
"She must be exhausted if she's being this openly nice to me." Kuroo chuckled lightly.
"Hey, can 'Kaashi and me walk with you?" Bokuto asked hopeful.
"Sure, I don't see why not." Kuroo said giving Akaashi a
questioning look. The fun loving ace seemed to have a thing for the insightful Nekoma manager. Akaashi being so intuitive of his best friends emotions gave Kuroo a small nod. This gave Kuroo an idea because you definitely had a crush on the owl captain. Hopefully you wouldn't kill him later if you remembered. "But be warned. When Y/n is super tired like this, she is a lot more loose with the truth." Kuroo talked as he started walking in the direction of the guest lodging.
"What do ya mean?" Bokuto's brows pinched together in confusion following.
"Hm, watch this. Hey, Y/n what'd think of Hinata?" Kuroo grinned.
"Mm, baby sunshine. To pure for this world, protect at all costs." You mumbled.
"Tsukishima?" Kuroo questioned.
"Fucking tsundere if I ever saw one but cool, I guess." They quietly snickered at your reply.
"How 'bout Akaashi?" Kuroo fired.
"Straightforward and calm. Kindhearted." You answered snuggling into Kuroo's back.
"And how do ya feel about Bokuto?" Kuroo questioned lastly. Suddenly butterflies found a home in Bokuto's stomach waiting for your answer.
"He's sweet and funny," you let out a contented sigh, "handsome too." Okay, Kuroo was glad you didn't say anything too embarrassing. Honestly he wouldn't have been surprised if you'd said 'beef cake' instead of handsome.
The otherwise outgoing male was quiet. You really thought that about him? Someone as smart and beautiful as you? A wide dopey smile made its way onto his face along with a dark blush. "Agaashi, Agaashi! Did you hear what she said! She thinks I'm sweet and funny and handsome!" Bokuto whispered excitedly, not wanting to disturb you.
"Yeah, Yeah I heard her Bo." Akaashi gave his friend a small smile before turning to Kuroo. "Isn't she gonna murder you for this?"
"Maybe....probably. If having Bokuto and Y/n realize they like each other is something that will make her happy in the long run, especially after tomorrow it'll be worth it." Kuroo looked up at the night sky, he knew you were secretly dreading tomorrow and how you really felt about the whole soulmate thing. No matter how hard you tried to hide it from him & Kenma.
"What's tomorrow?" Akaashi wondered.
Bokuto was still in a daze over what you said and something was nagging in the back of his mind. He'd only really met you today so why did you seem so familiar? Unconsciously his fingers drummed against his thigh, where his tattoo was. Lost in thought he didn't hear Kuroo's answer and lagged behind the two males. "It's her 17th birthday."
"You lost me, isn't that typically a good thing?" Akaashi noted.
"How do I word this? Well ya know how not everyone's lucky enough to find their soulmate? Y/n's parents are one of those couples. Don't get me wrong they absolutely love eachother and I think that's why Y/n thinks the tattoos don't really matter. If her parents can find love and happiness together it's like it's proof there isn't just one person in the universe just for you. And she probably thinks she's one of those people who won't be able to find their soulmate. She never said any of this to me directly but I've guessed as much and she once said 'the world is a vast place to find the one person you're meant to be with'." Kuroo looked over his shoulder at you, his eyes soft. "So if I can nudge her in the right direction to help her get what her parents have, to make her happy, I'll do it. I owe her that much."
"I see. It's poetic in a way. I mean you really can't help who you fall for, soulmate tattoo or not. You just might fall more for the one you were destined to be with. And what do you mean by 'you owe her'?" Akaashi shrugged, he could understand where you were coming from. He'd had his tattoo for almost half a year and never felt anything. He also knew Bokuto had never felt that tingle of a nearby soulmate and he had had his for almost 3 times that long. And he also knew it saddened Bokuto when he was asked about it, that's why he kept it covered most of the time. He thought as he fingered the tiny tattoo on the inside of his left elbow. A coffee mug and an open manga book.
"Oh that's a funny story actually. I wasn't as outgoing as a kid, barely talked to anyone. So one day this girl and boy come over to me, Y/n and Kenma. And she said 'I've seen you all by yourself every day and you shouldn't be sad and lonely...so we're all friends now kay?', just like that. Honestly she was so bright I couldn't have said no even if I wanted to. I don't think she would have let me either. Even at six she was a force to be reckoned with." Kuroo laughed softly. "So because of Y/n I was fortunate to have my soulmate so early on in my life and fall for him before I even got my tattoo."
Akaashi looked to Bokuto, "Yeah, I'd do the same thing for that goofy bastard."
Kuroo gave Akaashi a devilish grin, "So, you in for trying to get these two love birds together?"
Akaashi smirked back, "Bo's got a big heart but sometimes has trouble expressing it the way he wants to. I'm in."
They had made it to where the boys and girls rooms split off. "Night guys. See ya tomorrow." With a wry grin, "Y/n say goodnight to Akaashi and Bokuto."
"Mm 'night Akaashi." Your arms tightened around Kuroo's shoulders and you murmured still in your vulnerable half asleep state, "Goodnight Kotaro."
Both Kuroo and Akaashi's gaze darted to Bokuto. He was looking at you with such softness in his eyes that they might have thought he was already half in love with you. It was like Akaashi and Kuroo weren't even there. "Goodnight Y/n." Brushing a stray hair from your face he whispered with a gentle tone Akaashi had never heard from his captian. Yep he was definitely smitten.
"Night Kuroo, Y/n." Akaashi grabbed Bokuto's shirt tugging him in the direction of the boys rooms. "Come on you love sick owl."
"I-. Uh." Bokuto stuttered before saying goodnight to the Nekoma captian. As Bokuto was being dragged away Kuroo heard him say, "Hey wait! I'm not love sick!....am I?"
Kuroo laughed at Bokuto's words. If anyone knew if Bokuto was love sick, it'd be Akaashi. A few minutes later you were at your door for your room. Tetsuro carefully set you down making sure you wouldn't fall on your face. "Hey, Y/n we're at your room."
"Hmm. Thanks Tets. Ya know you're not completely annoying. I'm glad you and Kens have each other." You told him with your hand on the doorknob.
"Only cause of you." He bit his lip, he had one more question to ask while you were still painfully truthful. He wanted to make sure his and Akaashi's plans could work. "Can I ask ya something?"
"Mmhmm." You hummed crossing your arms and resting against the door.
"You like Bokuto, right?" Tetsu asked you.
A sad smile splayed on your lips. "Yeah but it doesn't matter. He seems like the 'wait for your soulmate' type so it's pointless hoping he could like me back." You opened the door.
"Y/n..." Kuroo heard the hurt in your voice.
"Goodnight Tetsuro." You whispered shutting the door before he could see the tears brimming in your eyes.
Kuroo blew out a breath. Fuck, he was an idiot for not realizing how deep the soulmate wound really went. But you were an idiot too. "You're really oblivious sometimes Y/n." He whispered to the closed door.
You didn't know if it was from being drained or because of tomorrow or some combo of both. But the moment you shut the door the tears that had been resting on your eyelashes fell down your cheeks. While you changed into pj's and washed your face they never stopped. You fell asleep with the glistening trails running onto the pillow and your heart aching for someone you knew you couldn't have.
The next morning you awoke to your whole back and part of your arms tingling. 'The fuck. Really my whole fucking back?' You didn't give to much thought that it was telling you your soulmate was near. You were in the middle of a huge city for fucks sake. You were more pissed at how big it was. You sighed, twisting your head you looked over your shoulder trying to get some idea of what it looked like. All you were able to see was black, grey and white feathers. Their tips reaching just past your shoulders and onto your arms. There's no way you'd be able to cover the whole thing in this heat. 'Oh well'. As you were getting dressed after taking a quick shower you received a couple texts in your group chat with the boys.
Kens 🐱❤🥺: happy birthday y/n, do you want your yearly bd hugs consecutively or throughout the day?
Tets 🐓❤😝: mornin birthday girl! Remind me again why you let kenma's presents be hugs and not mine?
You smiled before replying. They really just knew what to say to cheer you up.
Y/n 💜: thanks guys 😘 throughout the day pls 🥺and because unforced hugs from kenma are ���special✨ yours not so much.
Tets 🐓❤😝: this is F A V O R I T I S M  😑
Y/n 💜: wbk but yes❤
Y/n 💜: the only good thing about this shit bd is that it means 17 KENMA HUGS! 🥺
Kens 🐱❤🥺: that's it. Omw rn for your first bd hug.
Tets 🐓❤😝: am I a joke to you?
Y/n 💜: okee kens 🥰. Bro you want the truth or nah?
Tets 🐓❤😝: I—. Babe you see this?
Kens🐱❤🥺: Jared, 19. ➖👅➖
Tets 🐓❤😝: I hate you both
Y/n 💜: no you don't
Kens🐱❤🥺: no you don't
Tets 🐓❤😝: your right 😔 see you two at breakfast 💛💜
Y/n 💜: 🖤💛
Kens 🐱❤🥺: 🖤💜
Five minutes later a knock sounded on your door. "Mornin Kenma!" You said brightly opening the door to one of your besties.
"Mornin." He mumbled wrapping his arms around you.
You didn't realize how bad you needed this. Your hands tightly clenched his shirt. After letting go you whispered, "Thanks Kens, I needed that."
Kenma pulled you in for another hug. "This one doesn't count. You still have 16 left."
You hugged the dual haired boy back, soaking up the extra special hug. A laugh escaping your lips, "You're the best."
Walking to the dining area you looped your arm through Kenma's. Of course he was playing a game but you didn't mind, you liked watching. You and Kenma had a different kind of friendship, you both didn't care about the long stretches of silence between the two of you. You just enjoyed eachothers company. That's why it surprised you when Kenma spoke. "So Tetsuro said you were at the gym last night with him and the others?"
Your hand brushed against your cheek where you were hit. The memory of Bokuto's hand on your arm and his golden gaze...flushed you answered, "Yeah. It was a good game."
Kenma's eyes flicked to yours before going back to his game. "You know Y/n, it's okay to like him. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way."
Goddammit. Between Kenma's perceptiveness and Tetsu's well intentioned blabbering mouth, nothing got past the setter when it came to you. "I—." You blew out a frustrated breath. "I know. I know. It's just... so fucking hard. My mind and my heart say two different things." You came to a stop at the doorway to the dining room. Your eyes easily found a white and grey haired boy laughing at something between bites. Without you knowing it a small grin spread across your lips and your heart beat a little faster.
Kenma noticed your smile and where you were looking. You looked happy, a light in your face he hadn’t seen since you all were innocent children in the ways of understanding what a soulmate was. "Maybe you should let your heart win this time."
"Maybe." You grabbed Kenma's hand and led him to the Nekoma table where everyone was sitting. Taking a seat next to Lev you asked, "Hey, where's Tets at?" They all had a look of mischief on their faces. "Wha—?" A pair of hands covered your eyes for a few seconds and then were gone. Sitting in front of you was a fancy cupcake with a single candle lit.
"Happy Birthday Y/n." Tetsuro hugged you from behind.
"Happy Birthday to the best manager!" The team shouted. Earning a few looks from the other teams.
"You guys didn't have to do anything for me..." Your heart warmed at their thoughtfulness.
"Nonsense, we're lucky to have you! You've done so much for us, this is the least we could do!" Tora gave you a thumbs up.
"How could we not do something for you, you take care of us." Lev nudge your shoulder gently.
"Yeah, you make my life easier by dealing with Lev." Yaku announced.
"Hey!" Lev yelled, insulted.
"Thanks guys. I'm only the best manager because I've got the best team to back it up." A wide happy smile split your face.
"Blow out your candle and make a wish." Tetsu suggested.
You closed your eyes making your wish as you blew out the candle. You dared to wish for something you wouldn't have if not for the conversation you just had with Kenma. You wished maybe, just maybe for a chance at love.
"What'da wish for?" Lev asked.
"For you guys to win all your practice games!" Bringing a finger to your lips, "But really I can't tell, or it won't come true." You gave him a wink.
A pair of flapping arms caught your attention. Of course they were attached to a certain owl boy. Once Bokuto realized he got your attention he gave you a big smile and waved. You let out a small giggle and gave a bright smile. You lifted your hand and returned the wave, your fingers wiggling in the air. Bokuto turned to say something to Akaashi, his face pink. But you didn't notice. Kuroo had playfully tugged on a piece of your hair.
"Oya?" Tetsu smirked at you.
"Oh hush." You said slyly but the smile on your face and blush on your cheeks lingered. "Go eat your breakfast, you have a lot of games to win today and need your strength."
Tetsuro stuck his tongue out. "Yes, miss manager."
You were so happy you'd almost forgotten the constant tingle on your back.
It was the end of the day and Nekomas last game was almost over. The other teams coach had called a time out to try and break Nekoma's momentum. All day you had been rolling your shoulders uselessly, trying to get rid of the ghost like feeling of someone's fingers dancing across the skin of your back. It was really starting to fucking irritate you.
"You okay Y/n? You've been doing that all day." Kenma had observed.
Tetsu came over and wrapped his arms around his soulmate, resting his chin on the crown of Kenma's head. God they were disgustingly cute sometimes. "Whatssup?"
You gave them a sour face. "My soulmate tattoo. It hasn't stopped prickling since I got the damn thing. Not to mention it's on my whole fuckin back and part of my arms." You pulled your sleeve up a little to reveal the tips of feathers. Kuroo was practically radiating excitement. You knew exactly what he was going to say.
"That's great! It means your soulmate is probably at this camp! RIGHT NOW!" Tets almost shouted.
You rolled your eyes. "I'm not that lucky. We're in the middle of a huge city. You know how many people live in a 2 mile radius of here?" Your eyes trailed to the other game you'd been keeping watch on. Or rather player. "...Besides, my hearts kinda already stuck on someone." You admitted out loud. Bokuto seemed more exuberant and carefree today. Even after getting blocked a couple times he was still glowing. Your lips twitched at the untroubled ace. His aura infectious. You were pulled out of your daydream when Tetsuro pulled at the back of your shirt, trying to look at your tattoo. You slapped his hand away. "What do you think your doing?!" You hissed.
He blinked at you innocently. "I just wanted to see."
"Tetsuro, if Y/n doesn't want to show us that's her business." Kenma scolded.
"It's not that, just not right now. You guys are in the middle of a  game...and Coach would kill me." Laughing at Tets getting reprimanded by Kenma.
"I don't know, could give us an edge and distract the other team." Tetsu joked.
You chuckled, "Yeah and probably incapacitate Tora, embarrass Lev to the point where he'd be useless, Yaku would yell at anyone who dared to look, and Inuoka would probably try and cover me up without looking."
Tetsuro tried holding in his cackling and Kenma had a rare wide grin on his face. "Okay, okay. You're right. Only we two are immune to your beauty and charm."
You snorted. "Whatever. Now go win this game and make my wish come true or else." You said as you pushed them towards the rest of the team.
The first thing Akaashi woke up to this morning was Bokuto screeching about how his tattoo was tingling. At first Akaashi wondered, today was your 17th birthday...maybe? No they were in a big city. Bokuto's soulmate probably just happened to be nearby today. But then he couldn't stop talking about how you waved and smiled at him at breakfast. So maybe his attitude wasn't due just to his tattoo. He was in the best mood Akaashi had ever seen. Even failed plays didn't bring him down. Akaashi really didn't put it all together until he saw his best friend rub at his thigh, right over his tattoo. "Bo, your leg good?"
"Yeah! It's great. It's just hasn't stopped prickling." Bokuto beamed. "My soulmate must live by the high school or something 'Kaashi!"
'Was this himbo so far gone in his daze last night he didn't hear Kuroo say your birthday was today? And didn't he see the whole Nekoma team wish you a happy birthday at breakfast?' Akaashi thought to himself. "Or something." Akaashi muttered. His eyes gleamed with knowing. He made it his mission to get you two oblivious fools to realize what exactly you were to eachother by the end of today.
After the last game all the coaches surprised everyone with a barbecue for everybodies hard work. You were waiting by the grill with Tetsu and Kenma, waiting for the food to be done. You were starving and the aroma of meat was only making your hunger worsen.
"Hey, here comes your man!" Tetsuro whispered in your ear while playfully nudging you.
Your stomach growled loudly as you swatted at Kuroo. "Food now. Man later."
"You're right. Priorities." Kuroo chuckled holding up his hands. "But that doesn't seem to be stopping Bokuto and Akaashi from coming over here."
You glanced at the Fukurodani duo. Hunger forgotten.  "Holy fuck." You whispered. Bokuto Kotaro was not wearing his long knee sleeves. Your face flushed, "No wonder he wears those things. He'd be too powerful otherwise, no one would pay attention to the ball." Your eyes snagging on the rather large tattoo on his left thigh. A  cats face, half normal with a y/c eye and half skeletal. And nestled behind the skeleton side was...your favorite flower? It was just a coincidence, lots of people have the same favorite flower and your eye color. Maybe you were biased but you thought it was pretty.
Tetsuro snapped you out of your thoughts with a snort. "Simp much? And is that drool from the bbq...or the cake headed this way."
"Oh, that was a mistake." Kenma commented while playing his game. "It's going to be mildly inconvenient to replace you but you will be missed."
Casually you answered back, "Shuddup. Takes one to know one. I seem to recall certain screenshots that would look great posted on Twitter."
At that moment the Fukurodani pair made it to where you were. "Hey hey hey! What would look great posted on Twitter?" Bokuto asked with a smile.
You smirked at Tetsu, opening your mouth, "Tets caught being—." Tetsuro smacked a hand over your mouth.
"Nothing!" Changing the subject, "Y/n was just about to show us her tattoo. Right?" You licked his hand. "Gross. You don't know where my hand has been, you know how many microbes could be on there!" He yelled wiping it off.
You shrugged, grinning. "I have an excellent immune system." Clearing your throat, "Hey Akaashi," Your cheeks rosied under Bokuto's golden gaze. "H-hey Bokuto."
"Your soulmate tattoo? Cool, usually I keep mine covered but I felt like letting loose today after practice." He smiled lifting his leg. Akaashi groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. How was his best friend this dense?
You crossed your arms to keep the urge to trace it with your fingertips in check. "Er, yeah. I don't even really know what it is. It's on my back and part of my arms. All I know is it has feathers. Yours is gorgeous and interesting though."
"Why don't you have Kuroo take a picture of it so you can see it?" Bokuto suggested.
"That is a great idea Bokuto!" Rubbing his hands together, "C'mere Y/n, let me see that tattoo."
You rolled your eyes. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were a perv, Tets. I know I'm pretty but think of Kenma."
"Kenma is nothing more to me than a soulmate! I swear!" Kuroo joked.
"Back at ya babe." Kenma replied not looking away from his games. He had long become immune to yours and Kuroo's antics.
"You guys are strange but I'm used to weirdos." Akaashi smirked.
You poked your tongue out at Akaashi, "You say that like its a bad thing." You conceded. "Alright alright. I'll show you after we eat." You were curious about what was on your back.
"Y/nnnnnn. Why must you torture me?" Kuroo complained.
"I ain't ever seen two agreeable best friends, one of em always gotta be a whiney little bitch." You said to Tetsuro.
"So you admit I'm your bestie! Wait- I'm not whiney!" Kuroo exclaimed.
You cackled, "So you admit you're a little bitch?" Your eyes wandering, catching on a small girl holding an empty plate trembling in the middle of a bunch of boys. "I gotta do something, I'll be right back guys." You made your way over to the tiny girl.
"Oi!" Kuroo yelled after you.
"I mean she's not wrong." Akaashi snickered.
"Kenma, Y/n and Akaashi are being mean." Kuroo pouted.
"Show me the lie and I'll defend you." Kenma teased his soulmate.
"I hate it here." Kuroo crossed his arms.
Akaashi nudged him, talking lowly. "While Y/n's gone and Bo's distracted by the food. I found something out." Akaashi had a small impish grin, "I'm 99% sure Bokuto and Y/n are soulmates."
Kuroo's eyes widend. "No fuckin way! How?"
"Well Bo woke up this morning yelling about his tattoo tingling. It's the first time. And then during the last game I noticed he kept massaging his leg. I thought maybe he strained it but I asked and he said it hadn't stopped prickling all day. He thinks his soulmate must live by the high school. The himbo didn't hear it was her birthday today apparently." Akaashi explained.
Kuroo's mouth gaped open. "I think your right. Y/n said hers has been bugging her all day. But she also thinks it's someone out in the city." Kuroo looked to you then to Bokuto. "Holy fucking shit."
You pushed your way through the guys surrounding the girl, "Excuse me boys! Can't you see your frightening the poor thing?" You shooed them away. You knew they were just trying to be friendly but sometimes they didn't know how intimidating they can be. You gave a big smile to the blonde girl in front of you. "Hey, you're one of Karasuno's managers right? I'm Nekomas, my names Y/n. Are you okay? I know the guys can seem scary but most of em are just big softies." You punch one of your hands with the other, "And if they aren't you just have to seem scarier."
She returned a small smile. "H-hi. Yeah, I j-just joined. My names Y-yachi. Hinata mentioned you. He said you were nice. And t-that you gave him a nickname?"
"Really? I actually just joined a couple weeks ago but I've been watching my friends play forever." You blushed slightly at Hinata's compliment. "Er, yeah. I'm kinda a volleyball nerd and it seemed to fit him." You laughed.
"What did you mean by 'seem scarier'?" Yachi timidly asked.
"In my case I just use my scary face to keep Kuroo in line and mess with him...well and for jerks. Watch." You turned to face Tetsuro with dead eyes and your face emotionless except for the creepy grin plastered on. In a sing-song voice, "Kuroo Tetsuro!"
You only use his full name when he's in trouble trouble. Stepping behind Kenma for protection, "I didn't even do anything!"
"I know." You winked and softend your smile to a friendly one. Turning back to Yachi, "See, just pretend to be even more badass then you actually are. Give me your best scary face."
"I'm not badass, not like you..." Yachi murmured.
You snorted. "I don't know, taking on a rowdy buncha boys from Karasuno? Seems pretty badass to me."
Yachi gave you a small smile. "Ok." You could see the gears turning in her mind. Then she gave you her best scary-badass face.
"Perfect! No one will mess with you with that face!" You said excitedly. "It actually kinda reminds me of the look your setter gives Hinata if he messes up."
Yachi giggled. "Kageyama's angry face is the scariest thing I've seen."
"Ready to put your new skill to the test?" You raised an eyebrow.
With a determined nod she walked to the nearest grill and cleared her throat. "Excuse me."
A couple boys turned, "Hey, cu....tie." Their faces paled slightly and their words trailed off. As they stepped aside leaving their spots at the grill open, "Ah, nevermind." 
You chuckled lightly as Yachi turned around with a plate full of meat and veggies. Giving her a thumbs up as she walked back to you. "See I knew you could do it!"
"Thanks Y/n!" Yachi smiled.
"No prob-." Right then your stomach growled ferociously. Embarrassed you replied, "-lem. Um I better go and get some food before those heathens eat it all and my stomach decides to eat itself. Bye, Yachi!"
"See ya Y/n!" Yachi waved goodbye.
Making your way back to your little group your mouth watered. God you were starving and there was a juicy looking piece of meat in front of Tetsuro. Probably his but you have just as quick reflexes as him. With your chopsticks you grabbed it quickly while he was talking to Kenma. A second later another pair barely missing said BBQ. "Haha, too slow Tets!" You teased bringing the BBQ closer to your mouth. Except it wasn't Tetsuro.
"Damn Y/n, you're quick!" Bokuto laughed.
"Oh. Sorry, I assumed that was Tetsu's food. Here you take it." Your cheeks rosied as you set the food on his plate.
"No, it was his. I was just going to steal it. BBQ meats my favorite." Bokuto grinned, his eyes crinkling. "Do you want to share? I haven't seen you eat anything yet."
"Sure, us food pilferers gotta stick together!" You nudged his side playfully.
"Kenma, Akaashi!" Kuroo whispered fiercely. "You seein this shit?!"
"Wow." Kenmas eyes widened slightly.
"Whoa, Bo is sharing BBQ meat. That's big." Akaashi commented while turning to hand a cup of water to a choking Kageyama, completely unfazed.
"Y/n sharing food at all is...unnatural. You wouldn't want to get between her and her food, especially when she's hungry." Kuroo's eyes looked distant as he shivered remembering the one time he made such a mistake. "It's not pretty, trust me."
You turned to the three boys swallowing the mouthful you had. "My shit talkin radar is going off. You talkin smack, Tets?"
Tetsuro smirked, "No, just observing that you're actually sharing food with someone."
You puffed your cheeks out in embarrassment. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I share...sometimes."
"Random stray animals don't count." Kuroo laughed.
"They do too! They're just so cute and I want to give them all the love they deserve." You pouted.
"So does that make Bokuto a stray that needs all the love?" Akaashi teased.
"And that you think he's cute?" Kuroo questioned.
Bokuto's ears perked at the sound of his name and heard Akaashi and Kuroo's questions. It took everything in him to keep his face neutral and not look like he was eager waiting for what you would say.
He did not do a good a job as he thought he was doing.
Your mouth gaped open as your cheeks flushed. You glanced at Bokuto. His face was as flushed as yours felt and it looked like he wanted to take a step closer to you, he was leaning so close. Maybe you should take a chance. Besides the obvious dislike of today in general, you felt an air of hope also. Taking a sharp inhale through your nose you said quietly, "Well, you'd have to be a blind idiot to not think he's attractive. And I'm not blind nor an idiot so." You shrugged your shoulders while shoving a bite of food into your mouth. Akaashi and Kuroo had shocked expressions on their faces. They were not expecting you to admit it. Kenma had a small smile that said he was proud of you. Bokuto was practically glowing. You cleared your throat, changing subject. "So, we're done eating now yeah? I promised to show you my soulmate tattoo and I'm a woman of my word." You handed Tetsuro your phone. "Bokuto had the idea you take a picture so I can see the whole thing." In a small voice you asked, "Can you, please?"
That fear in your voice snapped Kuroo out of his shock. "Y/n, I know I've been giving you shit about it but really you don't have to." Tetsu spoke quietly pulling you into a gentle hug.
Kenma sensed your discomfort and wormed his way into your and Tetsu's hug, giving you your last birthday hug. "He's right. Don't force yourself if you don't want to."
You shook your head, squeezing tight your two best friends. "No, I want to. Curious even but...I know it's stupid but I'm scared."
"That's okay. We're here for you." Tets whispered.
"No matter what." Kenma replied.
"I love you guys, thanks." You nodded letting go. A wry smile gracing your lips. "How fitting my 17th birthday hug be right before the big reveal." You clapped your hands together, getting back to business. "Ight, let's see what this big badass bitch looks like." With that you twirled on your heel and pulled your shirt just over your head, leaving your arms in; your back facing the group of 4 boys. You did have some modesty being as you were surrounded by 150+ people.
"Oh damn! You weren't kidding Y/n. It really does take up your whole back." Kuroo said shocked as he took in the tattoo smiling.
You rolled your eyes. "Well not all of us can have cute little dainty ones like you and Kens." Testu had a little gaming controller on his inner bicep and Kens had the chemical formula for love on his ribcage. Lucky bastards.
You heard Kenmas quiet voice. "Y/n, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." You heard the click of your phone taking the picture.
"It's actually quite lovely too." Akaashi complimented as his theory was confirmed.
"Wow." You heard Bokuto murmur and before you could turn around you felt a finger delicately trace your back. You inhaled sharply as that sensation overrode the tingling of your tattoo. Was Tetsu being a creep? Or..? An awkward cough pulled you out of your thoughts and the finger gliding across your skin disappeared. Slipping your shirt back on you turned around. To be face to face with Bokuto. Was he the one touching you like that?! Your face turned a violent shade of red and your brain was glitching. Bokuto was staring at you intensely, his eyes zeroing in on yours.
Kuroo nudged your shoulder a wild grin on his face. "Here ya go Y/n." He sang song.
Breaking eye contact from Bokuto and looking at your phone you gasped. You were met with the same golden sunset eyes you'd recognize anywhere. The very same ones you were just staring into. Only it wasn't  Bokuto's face looking back at you. This time it was a grey, black and white owl with its wings spread in flight against a night sky filled with stars. And a handful of the stars were made into a constellation of a volleyball. No. No way was it possible. You looked up into the bright metallic eyes you had fell hard for. "You...?"
One of Bokuto's warm hands cupped your cheek tilting your head up. Leaning down he whispered, "I knew I remembered those eyes from somewhere."
His lips were on yours and stealing the breath from you. Eyes fluttering shut, your tattoo had finally stopped tingling and the knot in your heart loosened. Bokuto fucking Kotaro, the boy your heart had already started to fall for, was your soulmate. Suddenly you were lifted off the ground. Instinctively your legs wound their way around his waist and your arms twined around his shoulders, one hand in his hair. Bokuto lightly bit your lip making you gasp and open your mouth. His tongue darting inside to meet yours. A supernova of explosions were crackling in your veins. If he hadn't been holding you you would have fell due to the fact your legs becoming jelly. Your lungs were beginning to strain from lack of oxygen but you didn't care. You didn't need air when your nerves were buzzing alive from the contact with Bokuto. You didn't know how long you two had been kissing but Bokuto pulled away just enough. Both of you were breathing hard. "I promised myself that would be the first thing I did when I found my soulmate. When I found you."
A breathy laugh left you. "I'm gonna have to add kissing to the list of skills you have, Bokuto."
"Oh?" He smiled fondly at you. "Ya know Y/n you can call me Kotaro. Like last night."
Your brow furrowed. "I didn't—" Hazy memories of last night after the game came to you in flashes. You did use his given name. But more embarrassing is what you'd said about him in your frustratingly truthful state. A vulnerability only a few knew about. You were going to kill him. Or at least make him think so. "Hey Kotaro could you set me down for a sec please."
"Sure thing, baby owl." Kotaro set you down gently and kissed your cheek.
You blushed at the pet name and the soft kiss. Turning to the others you started to count silently on your fingers.
"What are you doing?" Akaashi questioned confusedly. He thought you would have been overjoyed at the fact you and Bo were soulmates.
"Oh I'm counting the ingredients  I need to buy for apple pie for Kenma. Kens how many pies do you think you'll need to get over Tets' death?" You smiled sunnily at Tetsuro.
"Hmmm. I think five would be good." Kenma replied.
"I am worth way more than 5! Wait, what?" Tetsuro panicked. "I promise Y/n I had the purest of intentions!"
You took a step towards Kuroo and he took one back. "Oh?"  You started chasing after Tetsu and he only made it a few feet before you tackled him.
"Y/n please don't kill me! Akaashi and I realized you and Bokuto liked eachother and we thought this would get the ball rolling, honest!" To say Kuroo was shocked when you hugged him would be an understatement. You weren't killing him?
Unwinding your arms from his neck you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thanks Tets, for making me join the team" you mumbled, "and for helping with Ko."
Kuroo grinned. "HEY BABE! DID YA HEAR Y/N THANKING ME?! Y/N. THANKING. ME."
You rolled your eyes still smiling and pushed Tetsuro away. "And moments ruined." Once you made your way back to the group you snuggled yourself up against Kotaro's side and he wrapped his arm around you. Looking towards Akaashi you thanked him also. " Thank you for nudging us together so if you ever have a sweet tooth for a baked good, I'm your girl."
Kotaro kissed the top of your head. "My sweet girl."
"Oh you don't have to do that. I'm just happy Bo is happy, that's good enough for me." Keiji chuckled.
"Trust me Akaashi, you'll definitely want to take her up on her offer. Her apple pies are delicious and she makes mine and Tetsu's birthday cake every year too." Kenma added while still playing his game. You blushed at his compliment.
"Alright then, I will." Akaashi nodded.
"What about me?" Kotaro squeezed you & had a little bit of a pout.
You reached up on your toes and pulled him down to kiss his forehead. "For you, owl boy, I'll make a whole bakeries worth." You pecked him on the lips.
"Ew. Is this what me and Kenma are like?" Tetsu's face was all screwed up in disgust. "There is no way we are that bad. Right Kitten?" He declared as he was hugging Kenma from behind with his chin resting on Kenma's head. You've noticed that's his favorite way to be lovey.
"You are." Kens replied.
"Sorry bro but the love of your life is right." You giggled.
"I honestly don't know how I put up with you two. I deserve a medal." Tets said bewildered.
"Sure bestie. Sure you do." You ruffled his already messy hair.
"Don't patronize me." He pointed a finger at you.
You batted your eyelashes. "Me? Never."
Kuroo looked at Bokuto. "Y/n is your problem now. Good luck bro."
Incredulously you yelled. "HEY I'M NOT—"
Kotaro squeezed you tighter with one arm & with the other gently tilted your chin up, making you look at him. You could feel your heart go all soft looking into those golden eyes. "You're not a problem. Your my soulmate. I can't wait to get to know you and fall even more in love with you." He leaned in closer giving you another one of those earth shattering kisses.
This boy. This boy made your heart flutter, your stomach swirl... and your brain dumb. Thats why when he regretfully pulled away the only thing that came out of your stupid mouth was a whispered "Oh."
"Damn Bo way to make literally the whole camp feel single." Kuroo laughed. "Akaashi did you know that he was such a Casanova?"
Keiji nodded while eating a slice of watermelon & swallowed before answering. "I knew he was a romantic but not this intense."
A few hours later everyone was waiting to get on their busses to go home. You waved goodbye to the new friends you had made. However you and Kotaro were holding on to one another. You'd only just found eachother and now you had to say goodbye. You bit your lip. "I don't want to go yet." A few hours together had turned you into a mess.
"Hey, baby owl," His thumb traced your cheek, "its okay. We don't live that far from eachother. We'll see eachother all the time and talk on the phone yeah?"
You leaned into his warm touch. "You're right." You turned to kiss his palm. His cheeks flushed. He was also a mess. "So call me when you get home, to let me you got there okay, alright?"
At first his lips brushed yours then he deepened the kiss. Just as your lungs were about to scream he pulled away but just barely. Whispering "Looking forward to it."
That night you talked until the brightest of stars dimmed and the sun rose. Turning the sky a swath of pink, orange and a color that was quickly becoming your favorite. A color that reminded you of your soulmates sunshine eyes.
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fairyoftbz · 3 years ago
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jealousy | l. hyunjae
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🌊 pairing: bf! hyunjae x fem! reader 🌊 wc: 1.9k 🌊 synopsis: at the beach, your mood suddenly swings, and your boyfriend is too oblivious to understand why you're feeling that way. 🌊 genre: angsty fluff, comfort, very cliché, fluffy end 🌊 tw: insecurities, self body-shaming, a petty fight at the beginning 🌊 a/n: yeah I went to the pool the other day and it was pretty much this, except that I didn't have a hyunjae by my side lol... and Spotify played this olivia rodrigo's song a moment after.. but happy birthday to Hyunjae in advance!!! 🥰 🌊 requested: no!
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“What kind of fuckery is that?” you ask yourself when you take a look around you at the beach while Hyunjae was settling your stuff down in the sand, trying not to get too much sand on the cooler. He removed his t-shirt to be more comfortable, girls built like models ogled at your boyfriend’s back and abs, giggling together and biting their lips as they saw his muscles move around.
The beach was filled with slim, fit people, either working out or getting that tan for Instagram. The girls were so pretty and looked like models that could sign with Marc Jacobs, which had the ability to make you even more insecure than you already were. A feeling of uneasiness settled inside your body, especially your heart, who felt heavy with insecurity when you took another great look at the people hanging out around you.
“Here darling, take a seat,” he said as he placed down a wide tablecloth on the sand with your towel on it, thanking him with a brief smile before guiding him to plant the parasol to let you rest in the shade together.
His shoulders and biceps glistened with sweat as he stopped digging to hammer the parasol pole in the sand, rubbing the grains off his fingers to finally sit down next to you. His smile subsided when he noticed you staring into space, gaze on the water, a weary look painted on your face.
“Y/N, is there something wrong? Don’t you want to go in the water?” he quizzed you, not really understanding your mood swing. You were so excited when he offered to go to the beach, and now, you looked sad, almost disappointed to be there.
“You can go ahead, I’ll join you later,” you said as you rested on your back, covering your face with your straw hat.
Hyunjae observed you laying down, frowning as you didn’t even remove your beach dress. Something felt odd, weird. You loved being there and having fun in the water. What was going on?
He looked around to see what could have upset you this much, but he couldn’t find anything. People, friends and couples were laughing and enjoying the sun, just like he had expected you to do with him.
You open your eyes and clench your jaw when Hyunjae lifted your hat off your face, a veil of concern forming in his eyes. Shifting his weight on one hand, the other caressed your upper thigh, the warmness of his palm contrasting with your shivering skin.
“Did I do something that made you mad?” he dared to ask another question, trying to get a glimpse of your thoughts to try to understand what was actually going on. “No you didn’t. I just don’t want to go in the water now, the wind is making me cold,” you lied and Hyunjae sighed, understanding that you wouldn’t share what was on your mind for now.
He kissed your cheek anyway, mouth lingering on your skin a bit longer than usual and stood up, removing his cap and sunglasses while looking at the people around you with a frown. You watch him calmly walk to the water, silently watching the waves crash against his feet, calves and knees the further he walked in the ocean, his glistening back muscles moving as he raised his arms to dive underwater.
You sighed and rolled on your stomach, your back facing the shore as you folded your arms, using the back of your palm as a cheek rest, closing your eyes in the process. A single tear rolled down your cheek, captured by the edge of your sunglasses, followed by many more, letting the insecurities invade your mind. You didn’t even want to look at all the slim, IG models look alike smirking and eyeing your boyfriend up and down as he walked by. You already felt so uneasy to be here, you didn’t want to add fuel to the fire by looking at what you’ve always dreamt to look like being attracted to your partner.
But Hyunjae didn’t even notice those girls. His frown deepened even more when he only saw the back of your body, something quite usual coming from you. You absolutely adored the beach and the ocean, remembering one of your first dates where you told him that the beach - especially at sunset - was your solace, and now you were facing away from this source of comfort. Plus, there were occasions where you came here without really wanting to go in the water, just to enjoy the warmth and the sight of the ocean, happily waving at your boyfriend that was having fun in the water while you stayed in your seat.
He didn’t even notice them looking at him, because his eyes and mind were focused on you and you only, trying to find what had caused you to become this weary and down all of a sudden. He didn’t feel the same when you weren’t looking at him, when you shut yourself out and let your brain overthink on its own, refusing his help. A pinch of discomfort tightened his heart, regretting that he wasn’t as good at reading people as much as he wished to.
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, what’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours,” he mumbled under his breath as he got out of the water, still not noticing that the source of your uneasiness were the ones staring at him, a few metres away from him as he walked back to you.
Droplets of salty water landed on your cheek and forearm as Hyunjae bent down to kiss your temple, forcing a tired smile on your face to try and not let anything show on your face.
“Is the water good?” you mindlessly asked as Hyunjae rested on his stomach, just like you, pushing his front pieces of hair back before putting his cap on.
“It’s a bit fresh at first, but once you’re in it, it’s good. You’d love it,” his voice trailed at the end of his sentence, eyes trying to probe your soul and bribe you to join him in the water.
“That’s great,” you nodded and sniffled, handing a bottle of water from the cooler to your boyfriend. He uncapped it but stopped, shifting on his side, resting his weight on his elbow.
“Babe, please, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting strangely since we got here, what’s going on?” he asked, voice ringing with frustration. You briefly looked at him before looking at the ocean, letting out a big sigh.
“Can’t you see anything, Jaehyun? Can’t you see that everyone around me, including you, looks like they just walked out of a Dior photoshoot by how slim and fit and pretty they look? That you have all the girls around us that ogle at you like you’re single? Yes I’m mad, yes I’m insecure, but I have my reasons, don’t you think?” you spat out your insecurities with teary eyes to your boyfriend’s face, who looked at you like he just saw a ghost.
That, was the last thing he had imagined. He never thought that you would get so insecure about this because you looked like the most beautiful girl in his eyes. He was about to speak up, but he placed himself in your shoes for a quick second, insecurities, as well as anger, started boiling in his veins as he imagined men looking at you like a fresh piece of meat.
You started scratching the skin around your thumb, a habit that you picked up when you were stressed and nervous and tears gathered in your eyes as you tried to ignore some girls still looking at and trying to flirt with your man. You wrapped your arms around your knees and pressed your chin on top of it, only to have Hyunjae positioning behind you to have you between his legs, wrapping his arms around your middle to press you against him.
He grabbed your hand to stop you from scratching it and he pressed his mouth against your shoulder, remaining silent as he tried to search for his words.
“No. I didn’t see any of those people, because I don’t care about how they look. I don’t care if the girls look like skinny models or if you find their faces pretty. Do you find the men here handsome ?”
“No,” you said in a wobbly voice, eyes glued to the ocean.
“Why?”
“Because I love you and I only have eyes for you,” you said in a shaky voice and Hyunjae remained in silence for a few seconds, knowing that you were smart enough to get what he was implying.
“So I don’t look at girls because?”
“Because you love me,” you said, voice wavering as tears rolled down your cheeks, Hyunjae holding you close to his chest, trailing salty kisses from your neck up to your cheek.
“Of course I love you, and with all my heart. I wouldn’t be with you if that weren’t the case.”
He grabbed your chin and you shifted to the side, sitting perpendicularly to him. His hands cupped your cheeks to make you look at him and he offered you a gentle smile, his thumbs wiping the paths the tears left on your skin when they rolled down your cheeks.
“I only see you, Y/N. You’re much more than looks, and you can’t say that you are horrible next to them. You are just yourself, someone more honest, prettier and funnier than all those girls around us. They don’t interest me at all, I only care about you. It’s not my problem if they think I’m handsome. As long as you’re in love with me, I'm at my happiest,” he caressed your cheek with tenderness, holding a huge amount of love for you in his eyes. You nodded, trying to make his words imprint in your brain and ignore everything and everyone that was surrounding you, but it was far from being easy.
You delicately touched his cheek and he kissed your inner palm while holding eye contact, assuring you that he only had eyes for you.
“Do you want to go in the water? Yes?” his eyes sparkled with joy as you nodded with a smile, your boyfriend springing to his feet and removed his cap, getting all excited when he watched you remove your beach dress.
“Stop staring at me like that Jae, we’re in public,” you giggled as you threw your dress at him, who hummed your perfume on the fabric before dropping it on your towel.
“I won’t. I want to let everyone know that I only have eyes for you,” he said as he grabbed your hand and started running towards the water, entering it with a big splash and laughter.
You dove underwater to get used to the salty water, reappearing at the surface a few seconds later, Hyunjae smiling at you. He wrapped your legs around his waist and held you close, pressing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss.
“Chill, chill,” you laughed as you pulled away breathless, Hyunjae’s hands caressing your body.
“No, no, I wanna show them that they don’t have a single chance against you. And that you’re taken,” he grunted the last part of his sentence, making you giggle and hugging him close.
“Thank you, Jae,” you mumbled and your boyfriend stares at you with a reassuring smile, pressing his lips to your temple.
“I love you Y/N,” you held eye contact again and Hyunjae was happy to see your smile, kissing your lips the following second.
Gosh, you were so in love with each other.
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xmalfoyweasleyx · 4 years ago
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No future with a boy like this - F.W
Summary: Fred disappoints you more than once, giving you no other choice, you had to let him go.
Warnings: ANGSTY, cursing, implied sex very briefly, FLUFF AT THE END
A/N: my firsts time writing angst and I really don’t know if i was overdramatic or not enough dramatic lol please give feedback
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April- 1996 - Hogwarts
Y/n was waiting on the tribune next to the quidditch field. It was already getting darker now. An orange glow spreading over the field. The sun was going down already. She was sitting there for two hours now.
She promised herself she would stop waiting after an hour but here she was, still hoping he would show up.
It was her birthday, it was her fucking birthday. And this wasn't the first time. It started with little dates, he forgot them sometimes but y/n didn't mind, he made it up every time.
He hurt her by forgetting those things all the time. But it was Fred Weasley after all. You knew this was coming when he became your boyfriend. You even got used to it. He was always busy. That's just how Fred is.
And here she was again. Trying to not let the tears of disappointment fall down on her cheeks. She felt miserable and decided to finally call it a night, going back to her dorm. She was exhausted.
Walking down the corridors, she saw Fred. He was just sitting there, laughing with George. That's when it was clear, he wasn't even late, he just forgot.
He saw her and smiled, walking her way, but she turned on her heals immediately. "Y/n!" he screamed confused. He followed her and his long legs made it easy to catch up.
She didn't answer, finding it much harder to hold back her tears now. "Y/n? Hey? What's wrong?" he asked.
Y/n stopped abruptly. "You really don't know?" she hissed.
A confused look formed on his face. "What do you mean"? he stammered. A tear fell down her cheek and his face was full of guilt now, without even knowing what he did.
"You forgot", you snapped, "again!"
He was thinking for one minute. It really took him one minute. What was wrong with that boy?!
Suddenly a wave of realization hit him. "Fuck." he squealed.
Y/n didn't need this shit right now, and ran away before he could say something. Making him run after her. "NO y/n wait! I'm so sorry, I won't forget next time, I promise, I'm so sorry" he begged while grabbing her arm, pulling her closer to him.
"You say that every time Fred" she sighed, another tear fell down.
It broke Fred's heart. It really did. He didn't mean to forget this things, he didn't want to hurt you. His mind was just so full all the time. So many things were going on in those brains of his.
"I mean it, I'm sorry, I love you y/n" he assured.
And she fell for it, like she always did. It happened every time. Fred said things that made her melt, and she forgave him. It was nothing new. Because how could she not? The sweet boy didn't mean to hurt her, she knew that, everyone knew that.
But still, her friends warned her. There was no future with a boy like this. It couldn't stay like this. So she swore to herself this was the last time. She made that clear to Fred too.
Because what if he's the love of her life? Her future? This was her last year after all, y/n’s future was right in front of her. What if Fred was her future? You both couldn't give that up.
May- 1996 - Hogwarts
Everything was alright.
They were okay.
And Fred hasn’t been late for a whole month, sounds like nothing special but to him and her it was.
This weekend y/n was going home, and not just home, but with Fred.
After a year it was time for him to meet her parents. Fred claimed he was the perfect son in law, so he didn’t hesitate to agree. Y/n was nervous and excited at the same time.
Ready in her dorm, with a portkey, she had her favourite sundress on. She was waiting for Fred but he didn’t show up. Okay it was only 15 minutes now, but with their little history it made her nervous. She was absolutely sure Fred wouldn’t forget this. He can’t forget this.
20 minutes later she was still waiting.
No. This couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be.
And then, she found a note under her potionsbook. After reading only one word, she was already furious, a growing heat filling her cheeks.
Dear y/n, love
I remembered. I swear. But I just won’t make it. I’m not feeling okay and I think I might have a fever or something. I don’t want to make you or your parents sick, so I’m staying in my dorm.
I love you, kisses Fred x
She didn’t really know what to think. She was so disappointed, again.
But she could’t blame her boyfriend for feeling sick. Although she had her doubts, what if this wasn’t true, maybe he lied because he did forget it?
No, no, she had to trust him. Fred wouldn’t lie to her. So she grabbed the portkey and went to visit her parents.
Alone.
-
When she traveled back to Hogwarts it was late already, past midnight. Y/n hoped Umbridge wouldn’t catch her.
The corridors were empty, completely silent. This was not unusual. Most of the students were already asleep this late on a Sunday.
Unexpectedly, she heard gigles and laughs coming from around the corner. Did it come from the library? It couldn’t be. Not at almost 1 am.
She went closer to listen. Y/n placed her ear on the door. Was it... Was it...? No. No.
Did she hear Fred��s voice?
She really hoped she was just imagining this. Maybe she should trust Fred more.
But just checking won’t hurt right?
So she tried to open the door. It was locked.
“Alohamora” she whispered.
What she saw broke her heart into a million pieces.
Angelina sat on a table, with Fred extremely close to her, giggling. George and Lee were there too.
She couldn’t believe her own eyes. Looking silently in Fred’s shocked ones.
“Fuck” he sighed. “Y/n-“ he tried.
But she cut him off before he could say anything. “No, I don’t wanna hear another silly explanation from you, it’s enough, I don’t want to see you ever again” she screamed with tears in her eyes, making her vision blurry.
Y/n ran away, faster than ever so Fred couldn’t catch up this time.
“Stop!! Stop!” she heard him scream behind her.
She ran and ran, not even knowing were to.
“Let me explain” another scream followed.
That’s when she ended up in a corridor she didn’t know. A dead end. Ofcourse.
She gave up and stopped. Fred ended in front of her, breathing loudly, trying to catch his breath.
“Baby I-“ he tried
“Don’t call me baby, this is over” y/n cut him off.
Fred was speachless, for the first time in history. He didn’t realise this truly happened. He knew what he did wasn’t okay, but he never expected her to actually broke up with him. It just didn’t occur in his mind this was a possibility.
“But.. but...” he stuttered. “I swear, I can explain, what you’ve just seen, it wasn’t what you think it is. I’ve told you about the shoppe George and I want to open, right? It’s actually going to happen. We’re leaving hogwarts. That’s what we were doing, we were planning things. Tomorrow we’re going to blow up Umbridge, no not literally blow up, but with lots of firework! And then we’re going to open the shoppe together. It’s my dream y/n!” he rambled excited.
Y/n sighed. Understanding why he did this, but it didn’t change a thing.
“That actually makes things worse Fred. I’m happy your dream will come true. But you’re leaving and I’m finishing my year. When are you going to have time for me if you run a shop? You didn’t even have time for me now.” she cried.
Both of them were crying now. Knowing the break up was really going to happen. Fred wanted to keep fighting. But he knew she might be right.
A little sob left his mouth, something he never did before. She was right. He truly loved her but he couldn’t give her the happy future she deserved. He wasn’t right for her, he didn’t treat her the way she should’ve been treated. And the idea broke him. And that’s when she walked away.
They didn’t see each other again afterwards.
The next day, y/n laid in her bed when she heard fireworks, knowing what happened. She couldn’t go outside and watch...
Happy screams and laughs filled the castle. And that’s when she realised Fred and George were gone now. It was reality now. They won’t come back. Although a little part of her hoped they would stay. A little part of her thought Fred would come to her, begging her to stay with him. But she guessed he just didn’t love her enough.
After all the times Fred broke her heart, she was kind off used to it. But those heartbreaks couldn’t ever overcome this one.
August - 1996 - Diagon Alley
The summer was almost over, y/n graduated two months ago. The heartbreak still hurted but she was better now. She still didn’t know what to do now that she’s graduated.
Hermione decided you two had to go shopping. “It’ll make you happier” she stated like it was an actual fact. Y/n couldn’t say no of course.
Y/n’s breath hitched. A big clone of Fred’s face right in front of her (or George). This had to be their joke shoppe. God, it was more impressive than she expected. Guess you should never underestimate the twins.
“Let’s go inside y/n!” Hermione announced excited, grabbing her arm trying to puch her inside.
“Oh no no no no no, I don’t think that’s a great idea” she hesitated.
“Don’t worry, it’s so busy, Fred won’t see you” she promised her. Y/n sighed. She really didn’t want to go inside. She’d love to see the shoppe, but seeing Fred...
Whatever, it was true. It was so busy so Fred won’t ever notice her.
They entered, y/n was surprised, it was wonderful. Fred and George must have worked so hard to get to this point. God, she loved the place.
It brought back memories. All those joke products, most of them were used on her, she remembered. Fred thought it was hilarious to prank her literally all the time, being proud because it was something he invented himself. She couldn’t be mad about it, it made him so happy.
The place even smelled like him.
Y/n took a deep breath trying to gather all of the smell, in hope it would stay in her nose, so she could remember it back home.
She closed her eyes and imagined how it could be, if they didn’t broke up. How she would probably come here everyday to say hi, how she would watch Fred all day doing his job.
And then... she saw him. In his uniform, he stood there proudly on the stairs above her. Smiling happily, seeing all those laughing people because if his work.
He was happy. Fred missed y/n but he was happy. He thought a lot of all the things he did wrong. Although he didn’t really have time to worry.
Y/n sighed, it’s been months. Her heart was glowing inside her chest. She didn’t even feel sad any more. This was what her boyfriend always dreamt of. Her ex-boyfriend.
She turned around deciding it was not smart to look at the beautiful boy, the boy who still made her knees go weak.
Fred’s smell was more vibrant than before now. Almost like he was right in front of me.
Ow, love potions, of course.
Of course she still smelled Fred in it.
“I smell honey, flowers and vanilla soap” she heard a familiar voice whispering in her ear, almost making her jump.
“F-fred, hey” she stuttered, in shock by the fact he’s standing right in front of her.
“You look great, changed your hair” he smiled. It was true, y/n cut her hair a little shorter and decided to give it a lighter colour for the summer. The typical breakup haircut.
“Fred do you want to... talk... please?” she asked, knowing it wasn’t a great idea. She wanted to just run away after she realized what she said.
“We could go upstairs, talk in my appartment”
October- 1996 - Diagon Alley
“Come on darling, George opened up already!” Fred screamed running through his kitchen while jumping, trying to get his pants on. He grabbed an apple as breakfast.
Y/n ran to the kitchen too. “I thought you changed the being late thing” y/n joked, yes they joked about it now.
“You were the one holding me up this time” he smiled adding a wink. “You just can’t resist me in the bedroom” y/n answered daring.
She grabbed him by his collar, pressing a kiss on his lips. “I have no choice with the sexiest girlfriend in the word” Fred grinned, pressing kisses all over your face, making you giggle.
“Baby, you’re wearing your uniform backwards” he laughed.
Y/n worked at the shoppe now too.
When she asked Fred to talk, they actually talked for hours. They talked about what went wrong in their relationship, about what they had been doing in those months they broke up, talked about how they still had feelings,...
And after two hours they made up. Both being happier than ever, deciding they learned from their break up.
Fred asked her to come live in his apartment and work in their shop too. Y/n didn’t hesitate for a moment. She designed their boxes or packages and talked to costumers. But most of all she distracted Fred by rolling her uniforme skirt up and bowing down to ‘grab’ something. Sometimes he took her back to the appartment because he couldn’t hold back anymore.
Y/n now knew, the breakup was necessary. You both learned. And now you’re happier than ever.
Because after all, Fred was your future.
***
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nellie-elizabeth · 2 years ago
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What We Do in the Shadows: Sunrise, Sunset (4x10)
The finale already. This season zipped right by!
Cons:
I honestly felt pretty underwhelmed by this finale, I think because it was focused on the Colin plot, which was ultimately not super successful in my opinion. I get it, he's an angsty teenager now... and then he becomes a full adult and resumes being Colin Robinson, seemingly with no memory of his year being raised by Lazlo. I guess if I describe this scenario, it's kind of funny, but seeing it play out just didn't really make me smile all that much. I am happy to have adult Energy Vampire Colin Robinson back in our lives, though, he really is such a funny part of the show and I'm thinking I might enjoy him again in season five now that we're through the gauntlet.
The night club has officially failed, with Nadja's last terrible idea being to burn it to the ground to get the insurance money, only to discover she doesn't have insurance, and only her office, the room with her secret stash of embezzled money, has burned, the rest of the club untouched because of the blood sprinklers. There were some funny moments here that I'll get to, but again I felt a little underwhelmed.
Just, as an overall statement about this finale... at the end of last week's review I praised the fact that we'd left our characters in dire straights, each of them having lost something that had been their focus all season. This finale continued that, truly setting things back into the familiar patterns we saw all the way back in season one of the show. Nandor's not married, Lazlo's not trying to be a father, Nadja doesn't own a club, Guillermo is single and aimless. And this, of course, is the point. It's stated in the episode, Guillermo laments it.
But the thing is, a story about how things are stagnant is... still a stagnant story. I remember when this season started I had been looking forward to seeing Guillermo and Nadja's antics overseas, the gang split up, new settings and new faces. And then no, we pretty quickly reverted to the status quo, and this season has been about small developments starting to happen, and then all of those developments just going away. So I'm left feeling like this whole season was just treading water, after several of the characters specifically and actively wished for it to change. It's odd, because I think what I'm picking up on is exactly what the show was going for, but that doesn't mean I totally liked it.
The final beat for Guillermo being that he's finally going to become a vampire is great, and I hope we see that happen next season, or maybe it's temporary or he finds out his blood means he can't be changed, but I hope shenanigans ensue from that. At the same time, I worry that what we'll get will be another reset with no real forward motion. There's only so long a show like this can sustain itself under its own momentum, you know?
Pros:
Obviously there were still plenty of funny moments. I loved Guillermo and Lazlo's parenting scenes, especially when they were teamed up together as Colin's two dads. Colin finding the secret entrance and learning the truth of his original life from meticulous diaries was also a good bit. The insurance thing, Nadja literally burning money in her effort to get a payout she was never eligible for, I loved that. Also seeing how the nightclub went downhill, hosting bachelorette parties and kid's birthdays before the end. Nandor's ineffective methods of talking to surly teen Colin Robinson. Colin having a play date with the kids he'd comically outgrown. All very fun.
(And the singing of "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof was a nice touch, that did make me smile.)
Also, I do like this as an end point for Guillermo for the season, the way he's refusing to sit back and just let life keep happening to him. As an audience member, you want it to matter, that Nandor hurt Guillermo. You want him to pay penance, to apologize, to realize the depth of his wrong. But Nandor is a vampire. He's just going to spend a couple measly decades reading books, and it doesn't matter to him, because he doesn't conceive of time in the same way humans do. So yeah, I do love that Guillermo has finally had enough, even if I'm not sure how this will actually manifest in any meaningful dynamic shifts moving forward.
In all, I think last week's bonkers and very polarizing episode made this one feel tame by comparison. And tame isn't exactly the note I want to leave on with a season finale. Remember season three's ending, how wild it was, how everything was going to change? Well, here we are. I'm still excited to watch season five, this show still makes me smile every week in numerous ways big and small. But yeah, honestly, I found this finale pretty lackluster.
6.5/10 
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deadpatrol · 3 years ago
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Okay SO I've been brainrotting over saal so hard
I don't remember where I saw it but there was this one post talking about DSMP holidays and how saal!Tubbo would teach the others the holiday traditions and the meanings behind them and I had two main ideas (both of them get really angsty at the end but I still thought they were cool)
One is that National Ranboo Day was mentioned. I'd never thought of that being an in-universe holiday before, but it would kinda make sense. But then I thought well, who would even celebrate it? Some random teeneager shows up in the middle of all these wars and goes "oh yeah, I'm making a holiday and it's all about me." Who would do that? It's selfish and egotistical and while I am VERY aware of Ranboo's many chatacter flaws, that just doesn't seem like something he'd do.
But then I thought, wait. What if it's a Snowchester national holiday? After they get married, Tubbo asks Ranboo one day when his birthday is and he just kind of shrugs and smiles sadly and goes "how should I know?" And Tubbo thinks "okay this guy might never have had a birthday party and every holiday or festivity we've had on this server has either been in the shadow of war or ended in slaughter and I will make him have a HAPPY holiday damnit"
But then of course Angst because when he's telling the post-reset versions of his friends about it Ranboo's like "aww, that's... okay ngl kinda weird but also cool, what was the last one like?" and Tubbo just kind of chokes up becuase, well, the last one happened AFTER November 27th, so... yeah.
Okay so Idea #2 is mostly not mine, it was brainstormed by several other people, but I do really like the idea of Tubbo celebrating some L'Manburg-related holiday with songs like the ones Wilbur would write and baking recipes that Niki invented and playing pranks and giving gifts like Tommy would and making floating lanterns like Ghostbur would make and I got this really poignant image in my mind of them sitting outside and he's singing them old L'Manburgian folk songs (and it feels so familiar, doesn't it, to be strumming an instrument and singing songs with friends around a campfire, next to a van under the starry night sky) and when he starts Ode to L'Manburg he tries his hardest not to cry when he gets to
"And my chest, though it ached, there was hope
A little beacon of light
Though my sunniest days were now stolen away
I still had our son by my side
And as he looked up at me with those wondering eyes
I just knew that I must protect him with my life
And make a land that is good and a land that is free
For the better of you and of me"
Because pretty much everyone who's ever sung that song knows it's Wilbur talking about Fundy but all Tubbo can see is Michael
Idk I might have more later but yeah i just had to get that off my chest
I think this is the post you're thinking of!
You are simply based. The potential for angst is so, so good. Tubbo would ABSOLUTELY sing My L'Manberg and think of Michael. They're so ❤❤❤
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lovecolibri · 3 years ago
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SaL anon here friend with a special request!! Since the hiatus is loooong and the holidays are coming up (which my job has interpreted to mean it's time to pile on the assignments which is the reason I've been scarce) it's the perfect time for reading fanfic! I already know my Malex comfort stories/authors (that nonnie_the_individualist is pretty good 😘) but I'm a bit lost in the much more extensive Buddie fic realm. I'd love to hear your recommendations (stories or authors)!! TBC
In return I will of course be revisiting all the best angsty/hopeful SaL songs (good thing we've had practice with another couple who have communication issues and unresolved trauma) and and giving you my episode reviews once I tell my job to fuck off till next year (right now I'm on 3x04 and holy shit there are somethings to talk about at the start of s3). Can't wait to see what you come up with!!
*siiiiiigh* Bestie, I had the highest hopes and best intentions to do this before the holidays but between family, travel, cleaning/reorganizing my disaster pit of a bedroom, and having a brain that's bad (that I'm trying to get back on track but not having much luck with), this sat in my inbox taunting me for....a very long time. I feel awful that I didn't get you some good recs before the holiday break but I hope you still have some time soon to read some of these recs. Also, on the bright side, I found some really good ones between when you sent this and now, so yay? Lets go with yay.
Now, I'm not as deep into the 911 fic like I was with RNM back in season 1 and that first hiatus before I had to start aggressively screening everyone and everything (and now it's been ages since I've been able to find motivation to keep up with even fic writers I love 😭) but I HAVE learned how to use and gotten better at remembering the bookmark button on Ao3, so you can check out some additional recs there. But here are a few of my favorites!
Even the Darkest Night (Can't Outshine the Stars) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
Eddie and Christopher Diaz have had a tough year. So when Chris sees a star fall, Eddie promises to fetch it for his ninth birthday. Just one problem: The star is a person, his name is Buck, and everyone in the damn kingdom is after him.
This is a Stardust AU that I just read and it's an absolute delight! Stardust is one of my all time favorite movies so seeing characters we know and love being pretty seamlessly woven into this story was so much fun. Definitely a fun time. Great Buddie, bonus Madney, and a Very Tired Athena who has put up with enough nonsense.
must be some kind of twist, I could get used to this by soyxunxperdedor
This is the Accidental Marriage trope at it's best. The will comes in to play, Buck and Eddie are fully clowning at all times, and it has a soft, sweet ending. Lots of fun, and some good firefam moments too.
I am offering not one, but TWO fake/pretend relationship fics that also have the "going home for Christmas" trope, and some grade A clownery on all sides.
baby, won't you take me home for christmas by wafflesofdoom
eddie didn't think lying to his parents about still dating ana would backfire so badly - but suddenly, it was christmas, and his parents were begging him to bring his girlfriend home. so, eddie did what any logical person would do - he pretended he was dating his best friend, buck. buck, who he might be secretly in love with. buck, who agrees to come to texas for a week and fake a relationship with eddie. what could go wrong, right? (lots, apparently.)
To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.
somebody come get him by elisela
“Chris, no one on Tik Tok wants to watch me play the cello,” he says—again—tiredly, rubbing a hand over his face. A pile-up near Dodger Stadium kept him over his shift for five hours thanks to some dumbass onlooker flicking a lit cigarette at a gas station, and big surprise, that didn’t end well for anything except Eddie’s bank account. “Dad,” Chris says, dragging out the word to Eddie’s chagrin. “People do a lot on Tik Tok. There’s cooking, too, you should really watch those. They can teach you a lot.” Or: firefighter-and-cellist!Eddie meets violinist!Buck.
This is a very niche AU but it's SO GOOD. Very soft, soothing vibes.
I have a couple of smuttier recs under the cut, but I would be absolutely remiss if I didn't rec some of my favorite more angsty fics (but with happy endings and soft hurt/comfort moments because I absolutely don't have the brain to deal with pure angst.)
Don't Take the Money and Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (or like literally anything they write. Seriously. You want author recs this is a great place to start)
I know everyone loves Leave the Light On which is a presumed dead Eddie fic where Buck is fighting to keep Christopher. It has all the angst of the will ramifications in the event of Eddie's death, all while knowing he's alive and trying to make it home which makes the angst delicious instead of depressing.
But Don't Take The Money is....whooo boy. It's Groundhog day dialed up to 11. Post lawsuit arc time loop and it is...dark, but it's so, so good!
(Oh! Also, Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) which is new to LA Dispatcher Eddie and it is *chef's kiss*)
to be found by ZainClaw
This fic man....It's a WIP but is nearly complete and GOD it's SO GOOD. It is a werewolf AU with injured/skittish Buck being taken in by Certified Soft Dad Eddie. The family vibes are impeccable, and we get a bonus of dealing with canon emotional issues like Eddie's repression of self via his werewolf nature he tries to push down, and Buck's feelings of worthlessness via a toxic, cult-like environment he escaped from. Also, werewolf pup Chris! I adore this fic SO MUCH.
Falling Slowly; Sing Your Melody (I’ll Sing It Loud) by Princessfbi
After a traumatizing home invasion, Bobby Nash decides to hire a bodyguard for his lead singer. Musician!Buck Bodyguard!Eddie
This is another fic where the 911 crew seamlessly folds into new roles. This story is beautiful and one of my favorites.
Okay, smut with feelings down below!
Leading with the Left and (Love Is) The Second Oldest Profession by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
Leading with the Left: When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.
This is almost 85k of stripper/post-stripper Buck and it is smutty and hot, but it is also so soft? And there is so much love and pining? Seriously, this one is so, so good.
(Love Is) The Second Oldest Profession: When Buck sees Eddie Diaz, new studio recruit, he thinks he's found the answer to his post-breakup slump. When Eddie meets Buck, he thinks he's found the ticket to a job that'll help him take care of his son. Neither of them think about feelings. This ends up being a miscalculation.
Look. This kind of AU has no business having this many feels and soft moments! It's sexy, but also so much fun and seeing the firefam in this kind of setting is hilarious, but also works so well?! A delight. Also, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels is on this list....several times so definitely another author to look out for!
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harpyloon · 4 years ago
Text
“ginny, i always want to sleep with you” // hinny
Pairing: Harry Potter x Ginny Weasley
W.C: 2.5k+
Summary: Harry Potter is always a blubbering mess when it comes to Ginerva Weasley.
Warnings: pure fluff! sprinkles of angsty angst, squint and you’ll find mentions of war/battle and death. everybody lives AU!
A/N: A fic written for the @harryandginuary Ginuary gift challenge. Happy Ginuary @/gins-potter​ 😍😍😍I hope you ENJOY!!!
Read on AO3
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Harry didn't think this through.
After defeating the Dark Lord and winning a wizarding war, he assumed he'd never have to think about anything ever again—at least not for a while. But gazing at her small blinking dot for almost half a year on a rotten piece of parchment apparently made him delusional, because at the moment—months after the battle of Hogwarts—sitting in the kitchen at the Burrow, his longing stare almost bore a hole through Ginny Weasley's face.
His Ginny.
Wincing to himself, Harry prodded on the peas in his plate. His subconscious when it came to Ginny was his greatest enemy and his biggest embarrassment. If anyone even came close to guessing what kind of dreams he had when it came to her... well... He breathed away the flush threatening to creep up his neck.
"More peas, Harry dear?"
Mrs. Weasley peered at him from the head of the table, a frown on her freckled face, "You've hardly eaten anything. Don't think I've noticed how skinny you've been getting again. I'd be having a word with Alastor about your Auror training. Ever since he got back he's been more insufferable—"
Snatching the dish of treacle tart in front of him, Harry filled his plate with a slice.
"I'm up for dessert now actually, Mrs. Weasley, thanks."
This seemed to satisfy her well enough. "Well, I whipped that up just for you so eat up."
He felt a nudge on his knee as Ron leaned in to whisper once Mrs. Weasley was out of earshot, "Save me some, will you? She goes barmy when we touch your treacle tart."
Harry smiled and nodded. Meals at the Burrow he was used to but he knew he'd never get tired of. His Auror training held him back a ton of weekends in the past few months, and being home felt splendid. Of course, he was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but Harry hoped Mr. & Mrs. Weasley knew how grateful he was.
Risking a glance across the table once again, Harry saw Ginny serving herself second helpings of mash. Her favorite, Harry thought. He remembered her hating Madame Pudifoodt's Tea Shop for its lack of savory spreads, the one time they attempted a visit during his sixth year. It ended up turning into a laugh as she snorted at all the snogging instead of actually drinking tea.
"So this is your kind of place, huh?" Ginny teased as she sifted through the menu.
Harry blushed, "Er—you don't like it? I kind of reckoned girls like this place..."
He chuckled nervously as she gave him a pointed look.
"Really, Potter?"
Breathing out a sigh of relief, he snatched the menu away from her, already standing.
"Three Broomsticks then?"
He knew he'd buy her all the Butterbeers in the world for the smile he earned.
A foot prodded Harry back to the present.
"What, Ron?" he grumbled.
Ron frowned at him. "What'd you mean 'what'"?
"You just—"
Someone coughed loudly across from them.
Both turning, they saw Ginny heaving over her mash, a fist in her mouth. Fred was rubbing her back soothingly beside her.
Harry blinked. It was her. She kicked him.
"Alright there, Gin?" Fred mused. "I told you to take it easy on the potatoes, you crazy woman."
"Do the Harpies know what kind of stomach they'll be feeding once they sign you in?" said George. "I bet you they'll break a sweat once they find out your appetite."
Ginny threw George a withering look after downing a glass of water. "Don't jinx it, you idiot."
"Have you heard back yet, Gin?" Ron asked over a mouth full of pudding.
"More like they haven't heard from Ginny," chuckled Hermione.
All the Weasley brothers gaped. Even Harry.
"What?" sputtered George, "You're making the Holyhead Harpies wait?"
The youngest Weasley scoffed. "I'm not making anyone wait. I was just standing by for the holidays before I give a reply."
"Well, it's the holidays now."
Ginny rolled her eyes and Harry's gut clenched. The mad part of his brain loved it when she did that.
"I am well aware," she said, "If you all are so eager, does anyone want to take my place then?"
Her brothers merely grumbled while Hermione laughed. It's been the talk of the town for a while now, after Ginny received a letter from the Harpies a few months after the beginning of her seventh year. The whole house went completely ballistic, even Hogwarts as well—or so Harry heard.
It took a month to bury the dead from battle and a whole summer to rebuild Hogwarts from the rubble; the Ministry was still in the process of rehabilitation, and the whole wizarding community was yet to heal, licking the wounds that Voldemort left behind. Ginny's Quidditch scouting was the first good news they'd received in a long time.
He didn't get back together with Ginny after the war, and there was no reunion like he'd always imagined in those long nights without her, in search for the Horcruxes. It wasn't as if they both avoided it, there just wasn't any time—time to talk, time alone, time for anything. Everyone had their hands full following the battle, and when things started to fall back into place, they've simply slipped through each other's fingers; Ginny whisked away by the Hogwarts Express, and Harry to the Ministry to begin his training as an Auror.
He considered moving on, especially on days when he'd think about her roaming the halls of Hogwarts, her fiery red hair blazing after her. She'd find someone, he thought bitterly. If she hasn't already.
But they'd written to each other, sparingly, although they did still. Short snippets of their day, what they ate for breakfast, the new set of professors at school, Mad-Eye's torturous lessons; Harry was the first person outside the castle to find out about her Harpies letter.
He caught her eye from across the table and she raised a brow at him as if to say What, Potter?
Chuckling under his breath, Harry shook his head and tapped the bowl of uneaten mash beside his plate. He saved it for her.
Ginny's gaze landed on it and her face lit up. If Harry didn't know any better, her hair seemed to glow even redder. His imagination loved to exaggerate his visuals when it came to her.
He felt a tiny poke on his toe as if to warn him not to react violently—she gave him a look and he pursed his lips, looking back down at his peas and moving them around once again. Then slowly, an ankle wrapped itself around one of his own and rested there.
Harry exhaled slowly, willing his pulse to calm.
He was not over Ginny Weasley at all. Not one bit.
 ----------✿----------
Creeping quietly down the steps, Harry tried his best to avoid the noisy floorboards (that he still didn't memorize to save his life). His two best friends didn't mention anything, but he knew they wanted some alone time. And he certainly didn't want to be around once the candles dimmed and Ron and Hermione started making eyes at each other.
He was almost at the first landing when the door to his left creaked open.
"Hermione?"
"Sorry. It’s me."
Ginny opened the door wider, gazing up at Harry, her face bemused. She was dressed for bed. "They kicked you out already?"
Laughing quietly, he said, “You know they’d never. I volunteered.”
She smiled knowingly. “Of course you did. Well, come on in then.”
Harry stared at her retreating form, clearly confused.
In? In where? In her room? Just the two of them?
Ginny disappeared inside but the door remained open.
Should he knock and ask her what she meant? Should he just go inside? It's not like he hasn't before.
Suddenly, the most recent memory of Ginny's room flashed through his consciousness—his 17th birthday.
"Something to remember me by."
Harry's ears grew hot. He refused to let that specific recollection surface when he wasn't alone, or in the confines of his own quarters. It made his brain go fuzzy.
"Harry?" he heard Ginny's faint voice from inside, then footsteps. She appeared by the door once again. When she saw his face, her brows furrowed. "What happened?"
Harry attempted to clear his throat without sounding like a retching toad. "Er—I'm—" he was sure his face was now as red as her hair, "I was going to take the couch actually," he managed weakly.
"The couch," Ginny said flatly.
He swallowed. "Y-yeah. Downstairs."
The silence was deafening and it stretched on for minutes. Or at least that's what it felt like in Harry's rowdy head. He needed to meditate. Merlin. He was losing it.
Finally, she said, "Okay. Goodnight then."
She gave him a strained smile then quietly shut the door before he could reply.
Harry stood there, mouth hanging open slightly.
Ginny Weasley just invited him inside her bedroom and he refused. He refused. Of all the things in the world that made him a blubbering idiot, it was his best friend's little sister. He always seemed to be dumbfounded whenever she was in the vicinity of his space.
"Idiot," he muttered to himself as he descended the stairs, no longer bothering to mask his footsteps. "Idiot, idiot, idiot."
Harry sulked his way to the living room, his mood most definitely dismal. Girls were a nightmare. He had no idea how their brains ever worked and every time he felt like he finally had a grasp at a situation, he was suddenly ten steps back.
He waved his wand mindlessly over the Weasley's tweed couch and leaned by the fireplace as he watched it transform into a small sofa bed.
Would he wake anyone if he flooed Sirius at this hour? He knew his godfather would still be up at Grimmauld Place, and would doubtlessly jinx him between the eyes if he found out what Harry had just done.
"You're just like James," he heard Sirius' voice say in his head. He never seemed to let this fact go, even when he knew that Harry was well aware of how he was a spitting image of his father. Sirius especially loved to point this out when it came to matters about Ginny.
"Dad actually ended up with Mum didn't he, Sirius," Harry growled under his breath as he settled on his makeshift bed, patting his pillow down with more force than necessary. He was in the mood for a petty fight and he wished his godfather was around for one.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps thumping down the stairs. Harry jostled into a sleeping position at once and took off his glasses, planting himself still in the awful case that Mrs. Weasley found him huddled on their living room couch. She wouldn't have the heart to wake him would she? He didn't want her causing a scene with Ron and Hermione. Harry tried as best as he could to look as wasted as possible, even attempting at a snore.
The footsteps came nearer, and he felt them stop by the door of the living room. He tried to even his breathing.
"Really?"
His eyes shot open.
Sitting up suddenly, he found Ginny standing by the doorway, her arms crossed. Only the dim moonlight illuminated the room, and Harry had to squint before he remembered he took off his glasses. His hands fumbled as he perched them back on, his eyes meeting Ginny's vexed gaze.
"Ginny," he said lamely.
"Are you seeing someone?"
"What?"
Her hair glowed in the dark space, like a warm halo around her head.
"You heard me."
Harry's pulse seemed to be skyrocketing. "Seeing someone? I don— no. No. I'm not seeing anybody at all."
Ginny looked skeptical. "Right."
Almost tripping over his own slippers, Harry barely managed to scramble to his feet in front of the only girl who plagued his dreams. He wanted to embrace her. Could he do that? Was he allowed to, still?
"Ginerva," he was breathless. "You have no idea..." Harry tried to calm his racing heart. Just get the words out, idiot. "You have no idea how much I think about you."
Her eyes gave nothing away as she looked up at him, and only her crossed arms kept the space between them. Harry saw tendrils of her hair stir as he exhaled. He wanted to kiss her.
When she said nothing, he lifted his hand experimentally, waiting for her to flinch or back away. Not sensing rejection yet, Harry trailed his fingers through the wisps of hair by her ear. He could smell her. He held himself from inhaling too deeply.
"Different shampoo?" he murmured.
Ginny sniffed, "Mum tried a different witch brand."
"Hmmm. Jasmine was my favorite."
She rolled her eyes. "I know."
Harry threaded his fingers through her hair, brushing her scalp now, and Ginny leaned into his touch.
He smiled. "But I like this one too."
"We should just share shampoos."
"Good idea."
They were silent for a moment. Just listening to each other breathing while Harry combed his fingers through Ginny's soft hair. The ends were still damp, he noticed.
"I missed you," she said suddenly, quietly. Her eyes were roaming all over his face as if gauging his reaction.
"I missed you too."
"But you don't want to sleep with me."
Harry's cheeks turned pink in the dark as he breathed out a laughed. "Ginny, I always want to sleep with you."
"I meant sleep sleep, you perv!" she pinched his stomach.
Trying to stifle his chuckle so as not to wake the rest of the house, he drew her in, finally bracketing her in his arms. "Ah, well, I mean that too, I guess."
Ginny huffed but melted with his touch. "I will have you know that I've turned down suitors for you, Harry Potter. So if you won't stake your claim, then I'd better take one of them up on their offers."
Harry's gaze narrowed. "Will you, now?"
"Watch me. Apparently, I'm quite popular with the Hufflepuffs—"
He leaned in lightning-quick, aiming for her luscious mouth. She expected it because her eyes closed in instinct, waiting for him to seal the connection. But Harry hovered. He felt the feathered touch of her lips on his but he stayed there, eyes open—trailing over her closed lids, the bridge of her nose, and the aggressive spread of freckles over the expanse of her cheeks.
"May I kiss you?" he asked against her lips.
Ginny's eyes blinked open but she didn't pull away. "Since when have you started asking?"
Harry was glad they were so close that she wouldn't be able to see his neck flush. "Since I let you go once."
This time, she did pull away, but only a tiny fraction. Just enough for him to witness her wrinkle her nose. "So saving the world has made you a complete sap."
She was teasing.
He shrugged, but grinned sheepishly nonetheless, "For you, yeah. I always have been though, haven't I?"
Twirling her arms around his neck and brushing her fingers through his unruly hair, Ginny pressed herself against Harry fully, her face shining with emotion.
"Then snog the living daylights out of me, Harry Potter."
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buckyreaderrecs · 5 years ago
Text
Blood
Summary: Bloody Mary; a ghost who appears in a mirror when called by name three times.
Words: 2235 Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Shuri Additional Tags: Infinity War and Endgame didn't happen, Stark Tower is still a thing, recovering Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky, a bit angsty, mostly canon compliant, Bruce Banner and F.R.I.D.A.Y. are mentioned but aren’t in the story, I love Shuri SO MUCH, female pronoun Reader Warnings: death/dying, blood, description of body decomposition, nightmares
Note: This is my submission to @waiting4inspiration's Myths, Folklore and Legends writing challenge! Hope you love it, Jess!
Tag list (open): @darlingtholland @browngirlmagic
Blood
Bucky Barnes doesn't believe in ghosts. In this day and age, it's more likely that a ghost is just a loved one brought back to life. Reanimated to fight on the wrong side, kind of thing. Or maybe the ghost is a clone. A hologram. A science experiment gone wrong. If you are lucky, the ghost could simply be a hallucinatory symptom of brain disease. But, no matter what, there is always a scientific explanation.
Bucky Barnes doesn't believe in ghosts because the existence of them implies the existence of an afterlife, some sort of potential of God. Of meaning and purpose. If he thinks about that too much, he unravels. So, he chooses to not think about it.
Bucky Barnes just does not believe in ghosts, so when he sees you standing behind him in the bathroom mirror, he runs straight to Steve.
"Something's wrong with me," he blurts out.
Sam and Steve look up from conference room B's table. Case files are open and spread across the room, spilling down onto vacant chairs and placed in chronological order on the carpeted floor.
"Gonna have to be more specific, Buck," Steve replies, eyebrows furrowed.
Sam considers making a joke, but there's a darkness splashed across Bucky's face that warns him away.
"I'm… They… I don't think they got everything. In my head," Bucky tries to explain.
"What happened?" Steve asks, pushing away from the table and assessing Bucky's body language. He's cagey, almost afraid.
"I saw… someone… She's dead. She's dead but I saw her,"
"Happens a lot around here, man," Sam offers.
"It's not like that. I was in the bathroom. She was in the mirror,"
"Like, in the mirror?" Steve asks.
Bucky shakes his head, annoyed but aware that he's not really helping them help him. "No… I was shaving and…" He tried to think. What exactly happened? When did he notice you standing behind him? There was blood…
 …
 The small cut would heal before he left the bathroom, with only the few drops of red blood in the porcelain sink left as evidence that he'd been distracted enough to cut himself shaving at all. You'd been in his head again. The nightmares had started on the day that would be your birthday.
Somewhere in the middle of being The Solider, the people around him made the mistake of not seeing him as sentient. They spoke around him, conversed and told secrets to each other, thinking he couldn’t understand. That's how he learnt about your arrival at the facility. Your name. Birthday. Power.
Bucky had nightmares about a lot of things, but you were often there. Sometimes you were centre stage with your sad eyes and painful defiance. Sometimes you lurked in the shadows, having being taught by The Solider how to do it so well. Nightmares and restless sleep were synonymous with being an Avenger, a hero. It was a high price, but Bucky considered himself to be in enormous debt.
The blood in the sink reminded him that he was still there, alive, human. He watched it slowly seep downwards, sighing out loud to himself. "Fuck," he muttered, shaking his head and trying to move the haze from his head. "Y/N," he said, then stopped. Your name had slipped through his lips straight from his unconscious. It didn't sound quite right. "Y/N," he tried again, adding another sigh like it was the last syllable of your name.
Bucky looked up, studied his reflection. He wondered what you'd think of him now.
"Happy birthday, Y/N," he whispered, his attention returning to the razor and shaving cream.
The bathroom light flickered, freezing Bucky entirely. Without moving, he glanced out the open bathroom door. The hallway outside was still. He couldn't recall if the light had flickered out there too.
He felt it then. He wasn't alone.
His eyes moved fast, up to the mirror. You were there.
Sad eyes. A strange fragility despite being possibly the most dangerous thing in Stark Tower. Alive.
He bolted. The razor clanked into the basin and the bathroom door slammed shut behind him.
Steve… Find Steve, Bucky thought.
"There's something wrong with me."
 …
 "We talked about this. It's normal to se-"
"It wasn't like that," Bucky interrupted Sam.
"We can look at the CCTV. I'll ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to-" But Steve was cut off too.
"She's dead, Steve. There's no way… She's dead, alright?"
"I would have said the same about you," Steve softly tried to reason.
Bucky could vividly remember what it felt like to lose you. He chewed his lip and crossed his arms across his chest. "I watched her die. She… she died in my arms and nobody came for us for three days. Alright? She was dead in my arms for three days."
Sam and Steve glanced at each other.
"Okay… Okay, Buck. I'll talk to Shuri. See what we can do," Steve agreed.
"If I'm- I'm seeing shit, I should be-"
"Come on, man," Sam stopped him, moving to hold his hands on Bucky's shoulders. Bucky felt the weight of each of them differently. "If you're seeing shit, you're like every other vet out there. Something's wrong, we'll cross that bridge. Ain't no use walking around all gloom and doom… We need a break anyway, right, Steve? Let's go get some pizza."
 …
 In Bucky's nightmare, the three days turn into a week. Then longer. He sits as still as a statue in the corner of a boarded-up room of an old snowed-in cottage. It's a Hydra safe house, and it contains the bare essentials to keep someone alive. Not you though. You're too hurt. It's bad. There's so much blood. He can see your insides and shoving everything back in and holding his jacket hard to the wounds isn’t helping.
You cough up blood as you watch The Solider panic. It's rare to see any emotion, so you feel grateful in your final moments. When you die, The Solider shuts down, like a computer malfunctioning. Hydra would have to do one hell of an 'alt ctrl delete' when they finally come for him.
It's cold, which is good. But you're an open corpse, which is bad. The blood hardens and turns dark. He can smell your organs as they begin to decompose. The whites of your eyes turn a sick colour, but The Solider never tries to close your eyelids. If he does that, he's alone. The inside of your mouth goes darker and darker, and the weight of your body on his continues to change.
In reality, that's about when Hydra arrived. Any longer and you would have started to fall apart very literally. In his sleep though, that's exactly what happens.
Your body begins to bloat, small blisters appearing along the surface of your skin. Parts of you liquify, find their way out, soak into The Soldier's clothes. It happens slowly at first, then within dreamstate minutes your muscles and organs and skin tissue turn to goo. Sometimes The Solider just sits in the human muck, counting the teeth left behind. Sometimes he's frantic, scooping you back up and trying to hold you together; it makes it worse.
And, although he hasn’t seen a single fly in the safehouse, there are hundreds of maggots infesting the deepest cavities of your body.
When Hydra came to claim their property, The Solider fought back. He clawed and kicked to get you back close to him. He screamed your name in every language he knew. That's where the memory stops. Often too, the nightmare.
"Y/N,” Bucky whines in his sleep, almost sounding like he's drowning in sticky, syrupy blood. “Y/N!” It is louder the second time. “Y/N!" Bucky yells, shooting up in bed and almost tearing a pillow in two.
He tries to breathe in, but the air is icy cold. Bucky only then notices the door. The balcony door is open. And you are standing there, hair moving in the breeze. Suddenly the room is bright, and warm palms are dragging his head to face away from the balcony.
"Buck?! Buck, are you okay? You’re screamin’ again,”
"Yeah, yeah," Bucky replies, pushing Steve's attempts at emotional first aid away. "Just a dream… nightmare… whatever."
He looks back for you, but you are gone.
Steve stands and watches Bucky crawl out of bed and move across the room.
"You hate the cold," Steve laments, concerned.
"Did you-" Bucky goes to ask, but stops himself too late.
"You saw her again, didn't you?"
 …
 Wakanda is beautiful. It's the closest thing to peaceful Bucky's ever known. Before making his way to Shuri, he visits old friends. The goats don't seem to remember him, but the children promise the White Wolf that they do. They show Bucky how well they've been caring for the goats, and they show him all the things they're learning in school. They ask if they can be Avengers too. He smiles sadly, and tells them, "Not yet."
"Ah! Bucky Barnes! My favourite broken White boy!" Shuri greets while pulling Bucky into a hug, then immediately focusses on his left arm. "So, your boyfriend says you need a check-up?" she asks as she opens a panel and frowns.
"It's not my arm, Shuri. That's workin' perfect,"
"Of course it is!" she laughs, yet doesn't stop tinkering. "But there can always be more. Be better."
When Bucky fails to reply, Shuri studies his face, then nods. Softly, kindly, she says, "Come, my friend. We'll have tea."
Shuri is easily one of Bucky's favourite people. She listens, which is already more than she has a responsibility to do. Bucky knows she's just a kid, but he also knows better than to stop a kid with that much genius and tenacity.
...
When all physiological and psychological avenues have been explored, Shuri shrugs at Bucky. "Maybe she's real,"
"She can't be," Bucky replies quickly.
Shuri makes a face. "You, of all people, really gonna stand there and say it's impossible for the dead to come back?"
"She was… very dead,"
"The dead are never truly gone, White Wolf. Not really."
 …
 Bucky hasn't seen you in a couple weeks. Sam says to him, "Two's only a coincidence, man. Three times, then we'll worry, yeah?" But Bucky remains worried nonetheless.
The mission they've been preparing for, the one that has taken over conference room B, is on Bucky's mind. He finds Steve sketching away, curled into an armchair and looking a lot smaller than he actually is. For a second, Bucky almost catches himself missing the 1940s.
"I shouldn't go," Bucky declares, dropping to the floor in front of Steve, back resting on the armchair and head falling back.
Steve looks down at his friend. "Nobody's going to make you do anything you don't want to do… But you are okay, Buck…"
Bucky looks up at him, exposed and vulnerable. Slowly, he shakes his head. "If I see her again while I'm meant to be focussed… I don't wanna screw anythin' up,"
"Okay. Sit this one out," Steve replies, brushing loose strands of hair out of Bucky's eyes. "But you gotta promise to be here when we get back."
 …
 The floors occupied by the Avengers are quiet. Bucky’s almost alone, save for F.R.I.D.A.Y. and Banner who is basically living in his lab. Bucky doesn't ask why he's not on the mission, and Banner returns the favour.
The irony isn't lost on Bucky; he haunts the spaces he shares with Steve, silent and invisible like a ghost. Part of him is waiting for you, he knows. The other part is genuinely terrified in a way he hasn't felt in decades.
He kills a few hours in the pages of a book, then finds himself lingering outside the door of the bathroom.
It's a little past two am when he gives in, stands in front of the mirror and closes his eyes.
"Y/N?"
He listens.
There are sounds but none of them you.
"Y/N… I… If you're there… alive… I'm sorry…"
His voice is shaky and he feels stupid, but he's started and now he can't stop.
"I'm so, so sorry… I… tried. I tried but I couldn't… And we were… If you're here, if you're here, please… just… Are you still…? Are they still out there?"
Bucky can't collect his thoughts. Each shatters into ten more, then those explode into even more, until there are hundreds of unanswered question in a web of confusion and emotion.
"Y/N…" Bucky's voice cracks.
It hurts you to hear.
You listen to his uneven breathing, listen as he tries to calm himself, hold back tears.
Bucky stands up straight, stretches out his neck muscles. He opens his eyes.
Those stormy blue-grey eyes.
"Hi," you say as softly as you can.
There is a split second where Bucky almost turns, an automatic movement, but he stops himself from spinning and stays firmly planted where he is. He's afraid that if he moves, you'll disappear again, like you had before.
"…Hi," he replies.
"You know my name… My real name. I didn't know that you knew it…"
Bucky nodded, slowly. The Soldier had never called you by your name while you were alive, just like you had never said 'Bucky.'
His blood gets pushed faster and faster around his body when his heart rate increases. The top of his cheeks flush pink.
"I know your name," Bucky says.
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dudeandduchess · 5 years ago
Note
Hi! May I make a request similar to the “ Rengoku x low self esteem s/o” one? I'm kinda feel insecure, in short, these days I’m really sad and kinda feeling alone, so if it's not too much to ask, could you make a Rengoku comforting a sad reader, or something based on what I told you? I read your writings a lot, and they always make me happy, so I think it will help me a lot! However, I will understand if you can’t, by the way, have a nice day!🧡
Hello, bby! Of course you may. I hope you like it. :D If you have any other requests, please feel free to send them in. UwU
Please send me more angsty requests. My ‘Hurt Giyuu Weekend’ might just extend into a ‘Hurt Everyone Week’. A ha ha ha.
***
Kyōjurō x F!S/O in Need of Comfort (SFW Scenario):
Warning: Sad Reader
“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” Kyōjurō asked frantically when he heard nothing but silence welcoming his return. Normally, she would have already been at the front door— waiting to smother him in hugs and kisses, yet she wasn’t.
He felt his heart clench in his chest, as fear gripped his entire system. But he refused to jump to conclusions— the last time that happened, he had walked in on her in the bathroom.
However, it would be for naught to admit that that wouldn’t be an unfortunate incident. Nor would he mind instigating another happenstance like that.
After all, it afforded him the best kind of welcoming greeting.
But he had to get his mind out of the gutter first. Because (Y/n) would have his head if she ever knew that he often thought of her inappropriately.
“(Y/n)?” He called out once more into the empty house— only to have no answer.
So, it would suffice to say that the dread he felt at the bottom of his stomach doubled. His mind was starting to run rampant with all the scenarios he could imagine, and all of them didn’t end well.
He ran through the house, searching for her in every place he could think of— until he arrived to the only room he hadn’t checked.
With a shaky hand, he grasped the edge of the shoji frame and slowly opened the partition— silently hoping that he would find her in there.
Lo and behold, to his immense relief, (Y/n) was in there.
She laid belly-down on their shared futon, with her hands folded beneath her head, while still in her hand was the fountain pen that he’d given her for her birthday.
The sight didn’t surprise him at all, as she loved to write on the journal he’d gifted to her years ago; as he’d thought about how lonely and worried (Y/n) must have gotten while he was away, and with her not being a Slayer— hence no crow of her own— they couldn’t exchange letters constantly.
So he’d opted to get her the next best thing: a journal that she could write her thoughts on; because, as he’d told her: ‘So that no matter where I am, your thoughts will always reach me.’
It helped, because it was an open journal for both of them. It wasn’t magic, but it certainly eased the strain of being apart.
Slowly, he padded over to (Y/n)— only to frown when he saw the dried tear tracks that marred her cheeks. He wanted to reach out and wipe them away, but he knew that the action would only wake her up.
So he opted to take the journal from where it sat beside her, before curling his body around hers protectively.
His position didn’t make it easy to read without straining himself, but he made it work as he read through her latest entry.
I always feel so lonely when you’re not around, Kyōjurō. I want you to stay with me, but I know that you would become sad if I asked you to give up your purpose of protecting the weak.
And I would hate to be the reason why that warm flame inside you burns out. After all, it’s what I love the most about you.
I just want you to come home already. Please. I’m so lonely without you.
Her entry served to make Kyōjurō’s heart ache inside his chest, but he could do nothing but wrap his arms around her and press gentle kisses against her clothed shoulder.
And inevitably, (Y/n) woke in his arms with a quiet gasp. She then immediately turned to face him and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. “Kyōjurō!”
A quiet chuckle passed the Hashira’s lips, before he readjusted his arms— so that his lover was comfortably nuzzled against him. “I’m finally home.”
Silence reigned between the couple, as they basked in each other’s warmth. They had a lot of lost time to make up for, after all.
However, Kyōjurō cut through the silence with the soft tone he reserved just for her, “I don’t like it when you feel lonely, (Y/n)... so how about we have a baby?”
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onewaigu · 5 years ago
Text
Memory (pt.2)
Genre : short story
Theme : angst
Pairing : Kanghyun(Onewe) X Reader
Description : time had stopped once you caught his eyes. this was the very first time you guys met in a very long time. were you friends? who knows. you did ruin a perfectly normal friendship with him. Question was, why were your eyes filled with regret when you saw Kang Hyungu in front of you?
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
youtube
Smiling with a drink in hand, I can talk about it now.
“That'll be-”, you choked on your own words.
You couldn't believe it. Out of all the people in the world, your first ever customer had to be him. Kang Hyungu. Maybe it wasn't him, maybe your eyes were just playing tricks on you. You tried to convince yourself.
“..free-of-charge?”, he cocked his eyebrow questioningly. He was probably amused at your sudden daze.
You snapped out of it.
“2000 Won please”, you avoided his gaze looking at only the money in his outstretched hand.
Once he took the change you gave him, you let out a deep sigh of relief. An air of awkwardness was clouding your consciousness that you weren't even aware you were holding your breath for quite some time.
Finally, he was about to leave.
Except he didn't though. Instead, he paused right in front of the store's entrance with his hand clutching the door's handle, head bowed.
From your peripheral vision, you stared at him quizzically. Slowly in that short period of time, questions started to flood your head only to be interrupted.
Scoff.
“Did you really think I wouldn't recognise you, Y/N?”
He chuckled but it was different than before. Your heart clenched upon hearing the once familiar sound, now coated with an essence of melancholy.
Time seemed to miraculously slow down. The silence in between was almost deafening. Your heart was pounding against your chest. No.
“And here I thought I'd gotten the wrong person but no, it is you isn't it?”, he humoured sarcastically. Ah, that hurt.
Before you could muster up the courage to reply him, you found his fingers curled around your wrist before gently yet firmly dragging you around the counter and out of the store.
You couldn't care less about leaving the store unsupervised. Besides, there weren't many people around.
Thunk.
The sound of the banana milk bottles hitting the table outside brought you out of your thoughts. “You never changed, huh?”, he asked, a faint glimmer of jest in his eyes.
“Still the same Y/N who loves daydreaming”
Now both of you were facing each other, sitting at the table outside the store. The LED lights behind you were illuminating softly onto Hyungu's face. It made him look like an angel almost. Anyone who saw him at this moment would have described him with one word — ethereal. Your eyes unconsciously wandered around his features. Blond suited him well.
“There you go, again”
“So do you”
“Hm?”
You repeated yourself, “I mean, you changed too”. Specks of red dusted your cheeks.
“We have something in common then”, you caught him lifting the corners of his mouth slightly.
I wanna go back, back, back, back, back.
Fitting. Cause you wanted to go back to how it was before with the banana-haired boy in front of you.
“Hm, nice song”, Hyungu hummed.
“..yeah”, your voice trailed.
“It makes me wanna ask, do you ever wanna go back?”, he asked knowing you knew what he meant by 'going back'.
There it was. The kind smile that you always saw whenever you were with him. With your friend, Hyungu.
He nodded understandingly at your silence, he knew. Of course he would.
“If only he hadn't existed in our lives, huh?”
Both of you knew who he meant. Kim Youngjo.
Seemingly perfect to anyone who knew of him, he was a year above you in school. Raven-coloured hair, alluring dark orbs, pearl-white teeth. Juniors idolised him while seniors wanted to be friends with him.
Everything happened when he crossed paths with you.
Ring!
It was lunchtime but you and Hyungu decided to skip it for the school library instead.
Miss Lee, the school's librarian, had told the both of you that the library was going to be restocked with newly-released manhwas. You guys were manhwa addicts so it wasn't surprising that you wanted to be the first two to grab ahold of them.
A few manhwas in, your eyes were starting to droop involuntaringly. Glancing to your right, you saw Hyungu's black fluff of hair touching the pages of a manhwa he was reading. Idiot fell asleep.
You tried to tug the manhwa from under him so he wouldn't drool all over it but you accidentally tugged too hard Hyungu's head hit the table with a low thud.
Oops.
Someone stiffled a laugh.
Your head shot up to see Kim Youngjo-sunbaenim standing near a bookshelf not to far from a still-sleeping Hyungu, trying hard to hide his laughter.
You smiled gingerly in his direction.
That was the very first interaction.
Spicy food should be dubbed as the devil's food in your honest opinion. It tempted and it tortured people. Too bad, your love for it had blinded any signs of rationality in you. You kept eating it then regretting after.
One day, you had bought spicy tteokbokki for lunch. Normally whenever you were having a spicy food crisis, Hyungu would immediately get you some fruits to cool down the spice.
However, he was on sick leave that day so you were forced to suffer silently in your seat. The spiciness was too much you couldn't even stand up.
Luckily for you, a bottle of banana milk appeared in front of your eyes. You didn't even care who gave it to you, you immediately downed the whole bottle.
Later you found out that it was Youngjo-sunbaenim who had given you the banana milk. Blush creeped up your cheeks out of embarrassment. How kind of him.
After that, both you and Youngjo-oppa kept crossing paths with each other. Every time you did, he'd always give you a bottle of banana milk. You found it cute. Days passed and the two of you slowly got closer each day. People were waiting and expecting you two to date.
Eventually on your birthday, he met you after school with two bottles of banana milk in hand.
“Aw, two for me? Tell me, Youngjo-oppa..do you maybe have a crush on me?”, you nudged his shoulders teasingly.
He scratched his red ears, “Actually Y/N, yeah I do”.
You stopped in your tracks. His blunt honesty caught you off guard. Yeah you always thought he was cute and kind but never did you imagine the two of you being more than friends. It made you curious.
“D-do you maybe wanna be more than friends with me?”, he stammered while he fidgeted with his hands behind his back.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you..wanna be my girlfriend?”
For the rest of your school years, you and Youngjo-oppa paraded the hallways as an item. It began with him joining you and Hyungu during lunch. Then he was practically there with the two of you anytime and anywhere. You found it quite endearing..in the past.
Blind love took ahold of you that even when Hyungu would always excuse himself everytime Youngjo-oppa appeared, you didn't even think twice as to why he did it.
The more you were with Youngjo-oppa, the more you were drifting apart from Hyungu. You didn't even notice.
Dating Youngjo-oppa was a thrill. You skipped lessons with him, hanging out under the bleachers. You would sneak out of the apartment at 2 in the morning to go to noraebangs with him. Being with him made you rebellious and you thought that it made you happy.
Until one day, Hyungu approached you after you had avoided him for a few weeks straight.
“Y/N”, he called out.
You tried to avoid him but he was too fast. He then led you under an empty staircase. His face devoid of any humour. “What's happening to you, Y/N?”, he asked looking at your eyes that were avoiding his gaze.
You shrugged him off, “Absolutely nothing's happening to me, Hyungu”.
Just as you were about to leave, he'd caught ahold of your wrist before replying to you in his most gentlest voice, “This isn't funny anymore, Y/N. You know you've changed ever since that guy entered our lives”. He sounded like a defeated puppy.
“That guy is my boyfriend, Hyungu and if you can't accept that then maybe you're much better off without me!”, your voice started to raise, anger boiled in your veins. The nerve of him insulting your boyfriend.
“No I'm not, Y/N..because I care about you”, his voice cracked saying those last words.
“Well, if you cared about me you would understand my feelings”
With that, you just left him alone under the staircase without even daring to look back. Little did you know with slumped shoulders, Hyungu was trying hard not to let his tears fall as your back became smaller in his blurry vision.
From then on, both of you didn't talk to each other even until Hyungu graduated. Unfortunately for you, you had to stay back a year because your grades were failing. So after a few long years of friendship..that was eventually ruined, the two of you were finally not going to see each other everyday.
You always thought to yourself about how stupid you were for trusting Kim Youngjo more than your bestfriend. Now you were alone without a trusted friend or a cheating snake by your side. If you could, you wished to go back to how things were before.
Whoever heard your prayers, you couldn't thank them enough. You had been wondering if fate ever decided to make the two of you cross paths again.
Finally, you were there sipping banana milk with him.
Looking back then, I would've called myself a fool.
[a/n]
this one really took a long time to write heh, anyways here's the angsty part two of Memory ^ ^ Part three's gonna be them talking it out with each other~
enjoy reading and stan Onewe
(video credit : Onewe - Reminisce About All)
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morningsound15 · 5 years ago
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Yo in the least weird way possible, did you have an ending planned for winged cupid painted? Or like, any idea what would happen next? I just read it and I'm dying to know but I also am a writer who's in college and know how little time being an adult leaves over, but I loved it! Also it was 4 years ago, and its chill if you don't wanna answer/didn't have a plan/etc but i figured asking couldn't hurt. Regardless, thanks for the amazing content!!
this is a great question and not weird at all
i stopped writing that story a while ago and i do mean to go back and finish it eventually, but i’m not sure exactly when that will be. looking at that doc, it does appear that i have something of an ending written out
so for the fans who want a conclusion and don’t want to wait around for another x number of years for me to finally get that story finished, the ending is under the cut:
lots of love
Lexa and Clarke throw the biggest goddamn wedding Octavia has ever seen (because of course they do).
Clarke looks like an angel in white lace, hair flowing in effortless golden ringlets down past her shoulders. She walks down the aisle with tears in her eyes, clutching at her mom’s arm, her eyes fixated entirely on the woman at the alter.
“Clarke’s walking down the aisle,” Octavia whispers to Raven under the sound of the processional music. “And Lexa just started crying,” she adds after glancing at her friend.
Raven smirks and whispers back, “Of course she’s crying, she’s a fucking sap.”
Octavia bites her lip and tries not to laugh, even as she surreptitiously wipes the tears she feels in the corner of her eye. “Babe, Lexa looks like she’s going to collapse. They can’t stop staring at each other. It is both adorable and disgusting.”
Raven leans closer. “What’s she wearing?”
Octavia runs her eyes down Lexa’s body once. “Tan shirt, rolled up to her elbows. Thin black suspenders, thin black tie, dark pants. Her hair isn’t braided, for once; Anya must have done it because it looks awesome.”
Raven whistles lowly. “So she’s basically a stud.”
Octavia laughs, “Oh totally. If Clarke doesn’t jump her as soon as the service is done I will be honestly shocked.”
“Fifteen bucks she waits until the reception starts.”
Octavia shoots her a look, eyebrow raised and smirk painted on her face. “Oh you’re so on.”
(Raven ends up winning. Though, to be fair, Clarke and Lexa only make it thirty minutes into the reception before they mysteriously slip out a side door, only to reappear red-faced and disheveled a quarter of an hour later. But a win is a win. Octavia grumbles as she presses the money into Raven’s hand, and Raven laughs and kisses her on the cheek.)
.
.
Their wedding is small and it isn’t really much of a wedding at all. Raven wears red, Octavia wears light blue, and they stop by the courthouse one day with Lexa and Clarke as their witnesses and get it done and sign the papers with little fanfare. (Clarke cries but Lexa cries harder.) The only other person there is Bellamy — who, admittedly, has been a little awkward around Raven since the whole… well, everything. But Octavia loves him and he’s family and Raven doesn’t mind Bellamy as much as maybe she should mind him. She actually sort of likes him.
And Raven is thankful for him, no matter how uncomfortable he may feel around her. Because while it is true that their relationship sort of imploded as a direct result of Bellamy’s questioning… it was necessary. Because Octavia and Raven couldn’t have survived a secret like that if it had continued any longer (they barely survived it as is). So Bellamy kind of accidentally did the best thing possible. He’s uncomfortable whenever he’s alone in a room with Raven, but he’ll get over that eventually.
There isn’t much to it; their whole marriage ceremony is done in under an hour. Clarke and Lexa and Raven and Octavia and Bellamy all at the courthouse in front of a judge (who didn’t really seem like he wanted very much to be there, but Octavia said he added character to the whole affair, so Raven couldn’t begrudge him that — she was the one who insisted on skipping the ceremony, after all).
The five of them stand in one small, cramped office that smells vaguely of dust and Taco Bell and Octavia laughs and Raven falls even more in love and no one else is there because no one else needs to be there. And it’s sort of hilariously terrible, but it’s also perfect. Because she’s marrying the woman she loves, in front of the only other people she loves, and it’s perfect. And she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Octavia tells her mother, though. Sends her a picture even, of the celebration — at a bar (and Raven doesn’t usually visit bars but for this one special occasion she does, because she loves Octavia and they’re married now and she should be able get drunk out in public with her wife if she wants to) — and Raven doesn’t even know the picture is being taken, but Octavia describes it to her after.
They’re at a table in the corner of the bar, by themselves. Raven’s head is thrown back mid-laugh, ring glittering elegantly on her finger while Octavia stares at her with unbridled admiration and love — she knows the last bit thanks to Lexa’s teasing voice and even though Octavia blushes and mumbles about it, she still blows the picture up and frames it and hangs it in their bedroom. And Octavia copies the picture and sends it to her mother (who congratulates her and apologizes for not being there), and she sends a copy to Raven’s mother, too, even though… even though their first meeting had been disastrous and the ones which followed hadn’t been much better.
Echo gets a copy and sends back a very pricy bottle of whisky for them “to celebrate with.” Raven guesses that’s about as good as it could get.
“My kids have been cooing over the ring for weeks, Raven,” Octavia says with a laugh one night over dinner, soon after they make it official. “They can’t stop touching it and we are getting absolutely no work done, and I blame you.”
Raven mutters, “How much work do fifth graders even have?” but Octavia shushes her.
“They’re also calling me ‘Mrs. Reyes’ now, you’ll be happy to know.”
Raven is happy to know that (it makes her stomach flutter pleasantly), but instead she laughs and teases, “I’m a modern woman, Octavia Blake, and you kept your last name.”
And she knows that Octavia rolls her eyes after that but she doesn’t say anything else and so Raven grins and is happy.
.
.
They never end up having children, but they never end up wanting any. Octavia has her kids at school, and Raven has her job, and they both work full-time and love each other full-time, and they never really wind up feeling like they need children.
They talk about it seriously a few times; about whether or not they should have them. When Octavia tells Raven that she doesn’t really want them, she’s worried Raven will think that she thinks they can’t have kids, because of Raven’s disability. That Raven will think that she doesn’t trust her to raise children; that Raven will think that she thinks that, because Raven can’t see, she won’t be able to take care of a crying baby or a screaming toddler or an angsty teenager.
But that isn’t the case; that isn’t it at all.
Octavia has never wanted kids; and it isn’t because she thinks she and Raven can’t do it (they’d be kickass parents, please) but just that… kids were never necessary for her. She just never had the desire to be a mother; not really.
Raven kisses her to quiet her down, after Octavia gushes and mumbles and stumbles through apologies and excuses. Raven kisses her and says, quietly, “I never really wanted them either.” She leans her head against Octavia’s forehead. “I would have had them with you, if you wanted, and I would love the fuck out of those kids. But I agree with you; I never really needed them. I never really wanted them.” She kisses her again. “I love you, Octavia. With or without kids. I don’t need them to be happy.”
So they don’t have kids.
But Lexa and Clarke have two: a beautiful little boy named Aden and his sister, Zoe (both adopted at the same time). And Raven and Octavia love those two kids like they were their own. And the kids go absolutely crazy any time Auntie O visits — which has Lexa groaning more often than not (They were just quieting down, Octavia!). And Raven brings them gadgets and trinkets and candies — which Clarke tolerates even as she berates her (If my kids kill themselves with your ‘toys’ Raven, I swear to God…).
They don’t have their own.
But they’re there for every one of Aden’s and Zoe’s birthdays. They’re there when Bellamy’s son is born (he cries so hard that Octavia and Lincoln have to physically drag him off of the floor). They’re there when Lincoln and his wife — a lovely woman: small but strong, quiet but wise, striking and elegant and also with a soulmate she was never destined to be with — bring home twins from the hospital, small and crying and beautiful (and the look on Raven’s face when Octavia placed the smallest little bundle into her arms was enough to make Octavia grin and kiss Raven on the cheek and mumble platitudes into her ear). They’re named godmothers to more than one babbling baby over the course of their thirties.
They do finally get a dog, a big lumbering golden retriever that wags its tail so hard Octavia has to get rid of all of the unstable coatracks and delicate vases in their entrance hall because they crash to the ground more often than not and she gets tired of picking up broken pottery and she gets tired of replacing broken wood.
They name her Fox, and though Octavia complains that Raven loves the dog more than she loves her, they both know which one of them feeds Fox scraps from the dining room table (even though it isn’t good for her and it spoils her — which is what Raven scolds every time she catches Octavia at it).
Fox is beautiful and warm and fiercely defensive of Raven (just like Octavia is), and when she isn’t wearing her vest Aden and Zoe like to ride on her back, giggling and screaming as she races through Clarke and Lexa’s front lawn.
And they live. And they love. And they are happy, for the rest of their lives. And it’s more than Raven could have ever dreamed, and it’s all that Octavia could have ever wanted. And it isn’t perfect but then life never is. And it isn’t as if they don’t fight; it isn’t as if they don’t have problems; it isn’t as if they don’t face hardships and setbacks and long, sleepless nights. They do.
But they live. And they love. And they are happy. And that’s all anyone could have ever hoped for.
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breathiingg · 8 years ago
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Hey! So I came here from your 707 meme and I've seen your other memes (plus the ones from KS) and I love them so so much~ But! I noticed you didn't have any headcanons or fanfiction published yet so I wanted to be the first to ask for headcanons :3 Can you please do headcanons of the RFA + V & Saeran reacting to finding out that MC has been cutting herself lately because of a relapse caused by overwhelming stress from work? Bring on the angst, I had a shit day anyway :D please & thank you~
first of all, thank you so so much that was such a thoughtful thing to do I’m at such a loss for words (ノ∀`♥) but secondly, I’m so so sorry you had a bad day (◕︿◕✿) if you want to, I’m always free to talk about these things or just talk in general, okay? mama’s got youuuu (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
I’ve had a really bad last three months and I’m in a loop I really can’t get out of so this topic is honestly something I can relate to pretty well, but it’s something I have hope for? like I think I can get out of this loop and find my way and it goes for everyone else who’s in that same loop ♡´・ᴗ・`♡ so for that reason, I'm gonna try to make the headcanons happier (i will still try to make it angsty no worries~)
soooooooo~ without further ado… (this is going to be very long btw)
Yoosung
this boy was just casually playing LOL on his pc when you come into the room freaking out
“Yoosung, where are all my long sleeve shirts?”
he looks at you confused
it’s the middle of summer???
why on earth would you need long sleeve shirts in the middle of summer????
he casually points to the laundry basket in the corner
“Sorry, MC, but I think you used up all your long sleeve shirts. Why do you need them anyway?”
your eyes just dart to the ground as you tell him you’re just cold
BOI IS CONFUSED
IT IS THE SUMMER  H O W
he doesn’t say anything though but the boy is worried
so as soon as you left the room, gamer child decides to consult google about the problem
“Why would my girlfriend wear long sleeve shirts in the middle of summer?”
google gives many answers
one of them was “Because she’s Russian”
are you Russian??? gamer child doesn’t know so he ignores it
but then an article about depression catches his attention
he looks through the whole thing about 64 times because you fit all the symptoms and child is now very very worried
but Yoosung knows he can’t just ask you about it so he waits
and that night, when you were both supposed to be sleeping, he sneaks a peek
he sees the scars, old and new, and he just starts trembling
he starts sniffling and then crying, and soon enough, he’s flooding the place
and of course, considering how FUCKING loud this child cries, you wake up
the moment you turn towards him to see what the problem was, he just pulls you into the tightest and wettest hug you’ve ever had
well considering all those shower “incidents” that’s debatable but that’s not the point
“MC, please, please don’t hurt yourself like that. It hurts me so much to see you like this. I love you so so much, don’t you know that?”
well you can’t really lie about the situation so you just mutter a quiet “I’m sorry…” under your breath
y’all just stay like that for the rest of the night, comforting each other as you sobbed in each other’s arms
he repeatedly told you over and over how much he loves you
and you told him everything
ad he understood.
the next few weeks after that, this child gives you all the love he could possibly give in the world
cooks for you, cleans for you, helps you with your work, you name it
he even stopped playing LOL just to give you the love and care you deserve
and you better bet your ass this will go on until you get better
Zen
there’s only one thing this boy loves more than anything (besides you and himself)
and you can bet your dog to the nearest pawnshop owner that it’s taking selfies
so naturally, this boy takes like 398459284 selfies everyday and you can bet your ass that he’ll get pissed every time his phone reminds him that he literally has zero storage left
so one day, he’s pretty much just randomly going through his camera roll, smiling at all the pictures he took of the both of y’all and remembering all the good times
but he notices a pattern
ever since about a few weeks ago, he noticed you wearing more jeans than shorts, and then there was a point where you just completely stopped wearing anything else but jeans
Zen doesn’t really think anything of it except for the fact that he missed seeing those sexyass legs
so guess what he does?
boy whines to you about it nonstop
“Baaaabeeeee, I miss seeing your gorgeous legs~ Why don’t you wear shorts anymoreeeeeee?”
you just shrug and make up some kind of excuse about starting to become conscious of going out in such short shorts
i mean it’s not really true but you can’t really tell him what’s really going on here, right?
 well turns out your lie backfired on you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
he sets your jeans on fire bc you’re a liar lol get it? liar liar jeans on fire? no?
okay no, he doesn’t, but he does convince you to wear shorts for him in the house bc hey, if it’s just the two of y’all, you have no reason to be conscious, right?
good job, MC
so you end up doing it for him, but you wear knee-high socks nonetheless so he won’t see a thing and position yourself so that your hands are always covering your lower thigh area
you make him uber suspicious tho
but he just pouts but he doesn’t say anything
but jokes on you, he ends up seeing them anyway when he walks in on you changing
he sees the scars on your thighs, and his eyes widens
he runs to you in the speed of fast
and this boy starts kissing them
“Zen, what the hell are you doing?”
he just keeps kissing them and nuzzling them until you start giggling bc it’s starting to tickle
“With scars or not, your legs are still gorgeous, babygirl, but that still doesn’t mean this is okay. Don’t do it again, okay? For me, and for you.”
and from then on, he makes you model in shorts for him everyday and kisses your scars after each and every time
this goes on until all your scars heal
Jumin
kink master & sex god
he loves loves l o v e s to buy you lingerie, okay
and he loves doing sexy time with you too
which happens frequently
so obviously, when you stop having sexy time with him as often and then stop altogether, he’ll think something’s up
like you won’t even let him see you naked anymore, not even when you’re just wearing your bra and underwear 
obviously he’ll think something’s up
but this boy.
oh this boy.
he panics.
he thinks you don’t love him anymore.
he thinks he’s going to lose the one person he cares about the most.
jumin s t o p
i’ll have you know that his bff 4 lyfe had to talk to him about this and calm him down
“Just talk to her,” V says, so that’s exactly what he does.
but before that, he goes out and buys you some new lingerie since he hasn’t done that in a while
IT’S BEAUTIFUL OKAY SO ELEGANT AND PRETTY AND I JUST
MMMMMMMMM
but anyways
when you see that he just bought some lingerie for you, you already know what’s up
and you just sigh and give him a tired smile
“Sorry, Jumin…”
NUH UH HE AIN’T HAVING NONE OF THAT
he pulls you in into a sweet, passionate kiss
and just from that kiss alone, you could tell that he missed you
and god did you feel worse
he politely and gently asks for an explanation
but you just didn’t want to tell him, not like this
so you decided to show him
you grab the lingerie that he neatly laid out on the bed and you slowly put it on, your back turned to him
but as soon as you turned around, he saw the scars you traced onto your belly
he closes his eyes sighs
he understands
he understands but i think that’s what hurt him the most
he pulls you in for another kiss
“I’ll love you all night,” he whispered lovingly in your ear
“I’ll love you throughout every single night until you love yourself too, because you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful person that has ever touched my soul, and you are the only one who has ever made me feel like love was a possibility for me. I love you so much…I highly doubt that would ever change. A girl that amazing shouldn’t harm herself like this.”
and with those words, you find yourself crying into his welcoming arms
well, you know what comes after 。^‿^。
Jaehee
you love over the shoulder tops
it’s just your thing
it’s what you always wear when you’re working at the cafe
hell, both of y’all even have matching over the shoulder tops you got at Disneyland with those cliche “She’s my Disney Princess” phrases
and y’all would frequently wear those at work and everyone just swwwoooooooonsssss 
you’re the perky, clumsy little girlfriend who practically bounces with excitement everytime she greeted customers and she was the calm responsible one who sat behind the counter and watched her girlfriend with such loving eyes
it’s just always been that way
and then out of nowhere, it stopped.
it was gradual at first
but then it just stopped.
at first, you just seemed like you were tired all the time and you weren’t as excited so Jaehee just assumed that you were tired
but then you stopped wearing over the shoulder tops
or anything that showed even an inch of your shoulders
in fact, you seemed to hate anything that showed your shoulders
and that’s when it started becoming worrying
and let me tell you, anyone who’s been to that cafe at least once is worried af
they love you to death, you better bet your bare ass they’re hella worried about you
well your birthday was coming up so everyone plans a surprise birthday party in order to maybe cheer you up
and well, you didn’t know about it duh
so one day, you decide to wear an over the shoulder top that shows your scars and work on a Saturday so that no one would be at the cafe
BUT GUESS WHAT
“SURPRISE!” screamed practically everyone
and they saw everything
the scars
everything
even Jaehee
you fall to your knees and started sobbing really hard
but surprise again
everyone knew about it already
and boy do they have news for you
everyone comes over with their gifts in their hands and guess what they were
over the shoulder tops
“It’s okay, MC,” Jaehee comforted. So what if you have scars? You’re going through a tough time, aren’t you? We understand that. We’re here to support you through those times, so don’t be afraid to open up to us, okay? If you don’t want to, that’s okay, we’ll understand. But we’re always here for you, remember that.”
and with that, MC practically floods the place
and from then on, she happily wore over the shoulder tops everyday until her scars healed
Saeyoung
he saw you
every cut you slit
every time you tried to hide it
he saw you
he saw everything
and each time he saw it, he broke a little more
he was convinced it was somehow his fault
after all, everyone he loved and cared about always got hurt when they were around him
and this was what he was afraid of
but he tried his best to stay sane for you
you need support right now and he needs to offer it
and you know he knows
it’s not like you can hide anything from him with all the damn cameras around the house
so you showed them freely around him
once he saw that you were comfortable showing them around him, he immediately grabbed your wrists
“This is Wilbert,” he says, pointing to faintest and oldest (yet also deepest) cut. “He’s an old man who hates children on his lawn, meaning…”
He drew a circle around your wrist.
“This is Wilbert’s lawn.” he points to your freshest wound and says, “This is Timmy. He is the youngest.”
He looks up at you to see your reaction, and when he saw that you were giggling, he sat you down on the couch and continued the naming session
everyday, y’all would cuddle on the couch and update the life stories of your scars
everyday, there was a new story for every cut
Emily learned how to ride her bike
Kyle asked out Lily and got rejected big time
Wilbert became best of friends with Timmy
it was the only way he could keep sane
and it helped you stop the self-harm too, which in turn helped keep him sane
and this continued until your scars healed completely
and when they finally healed, he kissed each and every one
“Rest in peace, everyone. Let’s put an end to this story, okay? I care too much about my MC, so it seems like we won’t be able to have a sequel. Sorry.” he smiles faintly and turns to you
he was crying
you were crying
and y’all kiss each other’s tears away
V
you always slept on the right side of the bed
and when you started to cut yourself, this came at an advantage since V was the blindest on his right eye
so whenever you believed he was asleep, that’s when you would do it because unless he turned to completely look at you, he wouldn’t really be able to figure out what you were doing
but one night, while you thought he was asleep, he speaks up
“You know I know what you’re doing, right, MC?”
well fuck
he sits up as you put the blade away
“Come with me.”
he takes your hand and navigates his way to his studio with the other hand
he asks you to take your clothes off and stand right in front of the camera
you were really really confused but you did it anyway
like are we gonna make a sex tape or some shit what’s up
and he goes right behind the camera
well, he pretty much tells you to pose a certain way and takes lots of pictures of you from different angles
all of your scars are showing oh so clearly
and afterwards, he prints the pictures and shows them to you
and for some reason… you were crying?
you didn’t understand why but you wept and wept and wept
“You see,” he says while caressing your scars. “That’s how I feel. Seeing someone so beautiful feel so sad that she does this to her body? It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Rip them up,” he says. “All of them. Tell yourself that this isn’t something you deserve and rip them up.”
and so you did
and god, did you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders
and for the rest of your lives together, whenever you felt like doing it again, he sets up another photo shoot for you to print and rip up more pictures
and it always made you feel so much better
Saeran
you were acting strangely
your eyes were glazed over and the sparkle was no longer there
you weren’t as happy as you normally were
he always said your energy was annoying but he didn’t want this
because in reality, he loved it
he was still in the process of healing and all the positivity you were showing was helping him and making him so so happy
and he feels like this is all his fault because he never told you how he truly felt
he is panicking
but when he couldn’t take it anymore, he pretty much yelled at you in the middle of dinner
“Say something, goddammit! You’ve been acting like a damn zombie and I just can’t figure out what’s going through your fucking mind! Say something…please…I can’t take this anymore.”
the helplessness and desperation in his voice was enough to make a lump form in your throat
“I’m sorry, Saeran…” and that was all you could say
and then he starts crying
and at this point, you couldn’t take it anymore either so you start crying too
and y’all just cry through dinner
by the time y’all have calmed down, you pulled him over to the sofa and showed him your scars
“MC….”
he pulls down his sleeve and shows you his
and when you looked like you were about to cry again, he pulls you in for a hug, and for once, he was honest
“This isn’t right. We need help. I want to be normal again, MC, for you. For us. I want to make you happy…I don’t want to be a burden. I…care about you. You make me happy. And I want you to be happy too. I want both of us to be happy and okay. Together.”
and after that, he starts taking you to therapy with him
and it took a while for him to really open up and be honest
but one day, out of nowhere, he pulls you in for a hug after you made dinner, grabbed your wrist and kissed your scars. “Can I reword what I said to you on the sofa that one night months ago? I’ve been practicing.”
you nodded with a confused look as he pecked your lips.
“Basically…I love you.”
you smile as tears fall down your cheeks
you grab his wrist and kiss his scars just like he did yours
“I love you too.”
(I realized I forgot to make this about work stress…sorry anon;;)
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