#of COURSE you WOULD have been welcome. but now you're denied salvation in the crastle

[bellshazes]

As far as Last Life is concerned, I think it’s important to remember that the red lives were wrong and Bdubs was right. Etho wasn’t just abandoning Bdubs or setting him up to die. He legitimately expected Bdubs to pull off the murder and come back to him. Etho did love and care about Bdubs and made a point of saying so. I think that’s kind of nice. The guy who is always ready to make a fool of himself for the benefit of others was truly loved and appreciated in the end.

this is from the notes of that bdubs falling on swords post and, this isn't wrong, but I don't know that the reds were wrong either. bdubs was right - etho loves him! it's evident, and also the last thing etho says in last life is that he loves bdubs.

but words have been written about "I'm so glad you were my partner," the past tense meaning etho knew it was already over. etho being a survivialist (as he ironically later describes himself as to cleo!) and not being 100% sure bdubs would survive the trade of a kill for a life doesn't mean etho doesn't love him, though. it's precisely because they love each other that bdubs is able to die for etho, and that etho believes in him just enough to send him on what appears to be a suicide mission but to qualify "you didn't win it for me either" with "just kidding, love you bdubs!"

I think this is where a hard line between cc! and c! fails, because it is so evident in their first episodes where bdubs and etho say things like, it's been so long, this brings back memories. they are indirectly but absolutely clearly referencing all the times they've been on the same or opposite sides of a death game (UHCs), plus any other SMP they've been on together. in 3L/LL attachments aren't supposed to carry over, but cleo & etho bond over having lost bdubs, and 3L!etho and LL!etho share the continuity of everything else and antagonizing bdubs; the joke is, that etho will kill bdubs if it's funny enough or justified enough (the trial lmao) but none of it matters when you've been friends for a decade and know it's neither your first nor your last chance to fuck around on whatever side of a war. this is maybe true for the majority of 3L/LL members but it's most true for them, because they have the most history and are least likely to discard that cc-knowledge for opposite reasons. (etho's trolling skills let him accompany roleplay, even though he's mildly allergic to it; bdubs lives and dies by bits.)

I think a lot abt how bdubs on two occasions failed to plan long-term bc he over-interpreted the rules or forgot them: when he was red and hanging with mumbo, he was still fixated on killing due to his boogey curse, but he didn't need to then and could have been honest about his need to stay red for one more episode. instead, he gets back to yellow and kills tango anyway. he's always more interested in the short-term, whether that's for RP or short-sighted reasons.

I just think it's way worse if bdubs is genuinely a little stupid and pitiable where etho is concerned, because they're literally not even BFFs but they know they care abt each other and etho KNOWS bdubs would maybe die trying to get back to him and bdubs KNOWS on some level he should play the long con but neither of them are restrained only by the in-series lore and are burdened with knowing that in any world they share they'll have something fun to do together, and it leads them to absolute fucking tragedy! but the tragedy is inconsequential; they'll meet again, next time.