#obviously they don't talk much anymore which I find SO FUCKING SAD. they're the best fucking rhythm section I've ever heard in my LIFE

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Purely to amuse myself I made some gifs from Big Country's "East of Eden" music video (which I am hoping to make at least one gifset of because the video is really cool! I believe it's the only Big Country video that's the most like a mini movie. Maybe someone would argue "Just a Shadow" or "Look Away" have a nice storyline, but that's different from being fairly movie-like, I think).

Anyway, in case you couldn't tell, I made these mostly inspired by Tony and Mark. I feel like they're my new...brOTP, if you will. Not even Stuart and Bruce were ever this cute. 😂

[andromeda3116]

i mean... yeah, this.

like, as much as i love the chaos of this site, it cannot survive without a revenue stream. and it appears that they're doing everything they can to make this site profitable without mining critical data from the users. the "for you" tab pretty clearly bases its "algorithm" on the things that i have liked and/or reblogged, as well as the things people i follow have liked and/or reblogged, and that's... pretty tame, in today's environment. its assumption is that if someone i follow likes this thing, then probably i like it too. (it is often wrong.)

but it doesn't seem engineered to make you feel an emotion, unlike facebook's infamous algorithm which is explicitly designed to make you as outraged as possible. it seems to be -- at least at this stage -- an ai version of looking through an author's bookmarks on ao3. and as long as it stays like that -- and stays optional, which is extremely key -- i'm okay with it!

the thing is, tumblr is a relic of a past version of the internet. people don't really blog anymore. it doesn't appeal to the youngsters whose entire internet experience has been curated and algorithm-ed to death. we joke about this site's aging userbase, but it's aging because this site is the last bastion of the time when the internet was the community of the weird. the era of webrings and message boards and livejournal communities, where "the internet" was where the weird kids who had nothing in common with their peers went to talk to people who actually understood them.

and that's great, and wonderful, and makes this site a bizarre, inexplicable, fun place to be -- but servers are expensive and maintaining huge sites with heavy traffic costs a lot of money.

do i think that automattic -- or any corporation -- genuinely has anyone's best interests at heart except their shareholders? no. but i do feel like they are trying to find a balance between letting tumblr be itself and making enough money to sustain the site, because they know that tumblr is not ever going to be tiktok and the only way to keep the userbase is to let it keep being weird? yeah, okay, i can buy that.

it's like a less-insanely-dystopian version of disney buying out marvel -- is it a soulless cash grab? yes. are they watering things down to make them more palatable to a larger audience? obviously. is this horrifyingly indicative of a larger societal problem with corporations, the internet, algorithms, artificial intelligence, and human nature? absolutely. but will they try to fundamentally change the nature of the stories that drew people to them in the first place? not unless they're incredibly fucking stupid, they won't.

look, i would love to keep tumblr being the home of the anti-capitalist unprofitable weirdos with our own culture that the rest of the internet finds both deeply incomprehensible and incredibly magnetic. i would love for us to always be unmarketable. but the sad and horrific reality is that we live in a world now where nothing is allowed to be unmarketable. and for tumblr to survive, it must evolve.

and as long as they're not doing that by mining my data from other sites i visit, or from my personal information, or from me having my location turned on so i can use gps to not get lost -- i can live with that. sure, it's shoving ads in my face and that's fucking annoying, but it's not tailoring those ads to information extrapolated from whose phone was near mine for an extended period of time, or which headlines pissed me off enough to get me to click on the link, or the random question i googled, or the store i visited.

does it suck absolute fucking ass that we live in a world where "hey, at least these insufferable ads being shoved in my face weren't selected by an artificial intelligence that has somehow accessed my entire personality based on my interactions with people and articles and products in completely different spheres that i didn't even know the site knew about" is the best social media experience available right now? absolutely!!!!! it's objectively insane!!!!! how the fuck has it gotten this bad!!!!!

but this is unfortunately the world we live in right now. and to keep holding on to our little corner of the internet, where we can stay weird and blog like it's 2010 and default to seeing chronological posts from people we have personally selected to follow, i am willing to accept certain concessions.

Was going to write this as a reply to something but realized it needed its own post.

The tl;dr is that, from the looks of it, Automattic absolutely has every intention of turning Tumblr into a marketing media platform.

I work for a marketing company. I build websites.

Specifically, I build websites on Wordpress.org, which is operated by the Wordpress Foundation.

The Wordpress Foundation is the non-profit counterpart to the for-profit company Automattic.

Automattic, as we know, is the company that currently owns Tumblr.

Now, the thing about Wordpress.org (not to be confused with Wordpress.com) is that it's very, VERY popular amongst small businesses. Not only can you build a fully-customizable website with relative ease, you can also add an online shop using another Automattic product: Woocommerce.

Not too long ago, I noticed a new feature was added to Woocommerce: A button next to each Woocommerce product which allows you to Blaze them to Tumblr right from the comfort of your dashboard:

This is what I get when I click that little "Blaze" button...

As someone who understands these tools, I understand the potential implications of these features:

The Blaze feature is basically an up-and-coming ad campaign system that's directly integrated with Woocommerce websites, which I think is the first ad marketing system of its kind. You don't have to log into a social media account to advertise your products, use a second-party integration, or even pay another service to manage your social media ads. It's all baked right into your business's website.

THIS is their planned money-maker, folks, not the rainbow checkmarks or crab armies. And the reason why Automattic would do this kind of thing is simple: Businesses are wealthier than individuals. By implementing a B2B service, Automattic can make more money off of Tumblr than user subscriptions and shoelaces will ever provide.

It's all the same song and dance. Businesses can now shove more ads into your face in a new, convenient fashion. It'll be ads that don't look like ads disguised amongst ads that do look like ads, just like it is with Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and literally every other marketing media service that calls itself a "social" media.

(Tumblr's new video feature? My guess is that it's there to prepare for video-format Blaze campaigns. Influencer-style videos are the only kind of ad format Gen-Z is receptive to, which is why you're suddenly seeing videos on every platform.)

All they really gotta do now is make Tumblr look appealing to the normies so they can draw in a userbase that isn't trying to escape the onslaught of commercialism that plagues other sites.

Tumblr is one of the last true social medias we have; a place where content is made purely for the sake of talking about it. But given the writing on the wall...I doubt it'll stay that way.

[orange-waterfalls]

Say It Back(Part 1/2)

Host x gender neutral!reader

@thekillingjoke-haha ty for the request!

Part 2

A/N: BRO I FUCKIN LOVE THIS ONE. I was on a writer's block and then CAVETOWN MY LORD AND SAVIOR apparently made a song called "Sweet Tooth". I took a lil bit of inspiration from the chorus(hence, the title). You took inspiration from a song, so did I lol. It took me a bit to find the mood for the story, but once I found it I couldn't stop lol. So. Two-parter. Uh a bit of cursing, Rated T. Slight angst for a minute. The names I used are not people I actually know, they're from a random name generator website. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.0k

Requests are open!

--

The Host stares at them from across the room.

Well… less ‘stares’ and more ‘keeps his head facing their general direction’. Even so.

They are beautiful. Even with the loss of his sight, he knew they were beautiful. On the inside, at least. He smiles in content as he hears their angelic laugh from across the room. Bing is making jokes again. The Host might’ve been jealous if he were a lesser man and if he weren’t so focused on how their happiness made him happy.

He doesn’t very much understand what he is experiencing. He’d seen movies, he’d read books, he’d listened to songs. He knows what love is. He knows it well.

What it feels like, however, was a completely different ballgame.

Host more focused on his work than on romance. Besides, he just doesn’t like people. He wanted to fall in love at times, but he just couldn’t.

Y/N on the other hand makes him… feel things. He’s not sure if it’s love, he just knows he really enjoys everything they do.

He doesn’t even care that they barely talk to him anymore.

Well… he cares, obviously, but…

You understand, don’t you? Good.

“Host? Hooost. Host!” A voice calls from his side. He hums in response. Bim rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair. “Have you been listening to me for the past ten minutes?”

“No,” Host answers flatly. Bim smiles when he looks over to where Host was facing.

"So you've finally realized you have a crush?" He teased. Host raises his eyebrows.

"Finally?"

"Oh, yeah. We’ve known this, Host, it's really obvious." Host furrows his eyebrows.

"We? What does Bim mean by ‘we’?" They hear footsteps and turn towards the front.

Y/N standing in front of the two, a small, awkward smile on their face.

"Hey," Y/N greets softly. The Host is frozen in place.

"Hey!" Bim says, a wicked grin on his face as he sees the effect on Host. "Didya need something?"

"Yeah, um… Bing told me to ask you where Wilford would be…"

"Oh, well I know nothing about Wilford. I don't think anyone does," Bim explained. “But Host here knows everything, so…” Host turned to Bim angrily. He turns back to Y/N when he hears them clear their throat.

“So, uh, Host?” They ask. Host has to keep himself from shivering at the sound of his name.

“Hm?”

“Where is Wilford?”

“W-Wilford is d-down th-the hall… uh, t-to th-the right f-from the b-bathroom…” Host stutters out, voice cracking once or twice. Y/N smiles and nods in thanks before remembering Host is, in fact, blind.

“Uh, thank you…” They laugh, embarrassed. Host tries to give a small smile. His face isn’t used to that yet, so he settles for a nod. They walk away, and he increasingly becomes more sad and more embarrassed as their footsteps fade away.

“Wow,” Bim laughs, “For a narrator, you can’t talk very well, can you?”

“That is not true, the Host can talk very well…” He pauses, “When he is not around Y/N…”

“Oh, so it’s just them, huh?”

“Yes, they very much affect Host and he isn’t quite sure he likes it…” Bim smiles at Host. “What is the problem with Bim Trimmer?”

“There’s no problem, Host, I’m just happy for you!”

“Why would Bim be happy that Host cannot speak correctly?”

“Because you’re in love, dumbass!” Host would have found the insult very… well… insulting if he hadn’t become distracted by the previous phrase.

‘Because you’re in love’. Was Host in love? He wasn’t sure what that felt like.

There was Serena Munoz in kindergarten. They dated for a couple days. She didn’t like how he read constantly, and decided to break up with him. Host wasn’t in love with Serena. He wasn’t even sure he had a crush on her. Maybe he dated her just because she asked. It didn’t affect him when they broke up.

Then there was Jesse Snow in the sixth grade. He was nice. Trumpet player in the band. They liked to read together in the library at lunch and after school. They recommended books to each other and even wrote a couple stories together. They sat next to each other in math and passed notes in cryptography so the teacher wouldn’t understand. They would, though. But Jesse was scared. Two boys dating in middle school? Not the best for his image. He probably got teased or called gay(which he was) and that’s why they broke up. He liked Jesse. He was sad when they stopped talking. But he didn’t think that was love. It was more of a ‘like’ than anything.

Then Asa Holmes in his senior year of highschool. They were really different. They had blue hair, but he could see the natural-brown in the roots. They wore a lot of black and spikes and chains. They listened to punk rock and heavy metal. Host liked the heavy metal more, so they listened to that more often. They did homework together at Asa’s house, and Asa would start dancing halfway through and it kind of annoyed Host, but he also found it endearing. Then they graduated and promised to keep in touch, but Asa just… couldn’t. Host understood, and they stopped. He was disappointed, but he wasn’t in love with them.

Is this what love feels like? Is it a weird feeling in your stomach when you look at this one person? Is it your heart racing when you see them laugh? Is it hyperventilating when they come over to talk to you? Is that what love is?

Oh.

Oh no.

Host is in love.

Y/N had managed to weasel their way into the dark and lonely place in his soul and fill it with hope and joy and love.

And, oh, how he absolutely loves you.

And what the hell is he supposed to do about that?

--

“Uh, Host?” Bim calls after 20 minutes of silence from the writer. “Are uh… are you okay?”

“No,” Host answers instantly.

“Uh… why not?”

“Because… Host is in love…” Bim is quiet for a second and Host worries he’s gone Deaf as well. But Bim lets out a loud laugh that startles Host.

“Bing! Get your ass over here, you owe me $30!” Bim yells. Bing groans and drags his feet over to them, mumbling as he takes the money out of his wallet. Host begins to zone out, all the noise around him fading into nothing.

Host was… in love. What was he to do? Tell Y/N? No… he couldn’t. They might hate him. They might think he’s awful. They might stop being around him completely. He couldn’t handle that.

So, what was he to do?

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Bim asks, as if reading Hosts mind. “You’ve got to tell them of course.”

“No.”

“No?” Bim scoffs, “Wha do you mean, ‘no’? You have to tell them, Host!”

“Hos does not have to do anything. Host is content with watching from afar.” Host explains. There’s a pause.

“That’s goddamn creepy, Host,” Bim states. Host frowns. It is a bit creepy.

“Host cannot tell them,” He whispers. Bim, finally seeming to understand, sighs and leans forward.

“Look, Host, I know you’re scared. I know this is unfamiliar territory for you, but…” Bim starts. Host leans a bit towards him, wanting to hear what he has to say. He may treat the man like he’s annoying, but ultimately, Host cares about his opinion. Bim sighs again.

“If you don’t tell them, you’re going to regret it. Trust me I know…” Bim pauses, and Host begins wondering who hurt him. “But, these are your feelings, Host! You can’t keep them bottled up inside you forever. It’s unhealthy. You need to tell them and if they like you back, great! If they don’t, that’s too bad, watch ‘Dirty Dancing’ on repeat and eat a tub of ice cream like the rest of us.” Host tilts his head a bit.

“Host cannot exactly watch--”

“Oh, you know what I meant, smartass!” Bim laughs and Host smiles. He does know what Bim meant, and he undrstands. He just needs to say it. How would he say it?

‘Hi. I like you. Say it back.’

That’s a bit too forward.

But forward is what Host does. It’s who he is, he can’t change that.

He’ll just say that to them when they come back.

Y/N walks back into the room where Bim and Host are. They’re wearing different shoes, he can tell. Are they wearing different clothes as well? Why would they be?

Wait…

“Wow, hey Y/N! Who you dressing all nice for?” Illinois says from somewhere else in the room. Host is pale. He doesn’t want to know.

“Well,” Y/N chuckles, “I’m glad you asked!”

No.

No, no, no.

“I’m actually going out for lunch.”

“Really? With who?”

Stop.

Stop!

“It’s ‘whom’.”

“Fuck you, Google. Y/N, spill.”

Don’t.

Please, don’t.

“I’m going out on a date!” They finally finish. The room is completely silent. Not that Host would hear anything with the ringing in his ears.

He felt bad. He felt so bad. He hated this… feeling. He was so upset.

“Well, don’t all talk at once…” Y/N jokes awkwardly. Bim finally decides to take pity on them.

“Wow! Didn’t know you had it in you!” He teased. “Congrats!” The other egos joined in in a chorus of congradulatory phrases. Host was silent.

“Well, I better go. Wish me luck!” They said, practically bouncing out the door. Everyone said goodbye to them, and the door finally closed. Host could feel everyone’s eyes on him. They all knew. The all knew. And he didn’t until he was too late to do anything.

Typical of him.

“Host…” Bim starts. Before he can say anything else, Host shoots up and makes a beeline for the bathroom. No one calls after him, no one tries to stop him, no one does anything, He is grateful for that. He just wants to sit and wallow, and that’s exactly what he plans to do.

--

Host heard a soft knock on the door.

“Host?” Bim asks quietly. “Host, it’s Bim. Are you okay?”

“No,” Host whispers. “Host is not okay. Why would Host be okay?”

“Well, uh… you’ve just… been in there a while. I figured you’d have gotten a bit better…”

“Host has not.”

“Oh…”

Silence for a moment, and Host thinks Bim will leave. No matter how much he may try to seem cold, he does enjoy the man’s company.

“Don’t worry. I’m still here.”

Host lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Bim?” He hears the other man shift so he is sitting out side the bathroom door.

“Yeah, Host?”

“Do you think Host is worthy of love?”

“Yes.” Bim said immediately. Host waited for an explanation. He got none. He supposed that’s just how it works. Sometimes you don’t get an explanation.

“Bim?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think that Y/N could be in love with Host?”

“I think… you shouldn’t bet on it.” Host’s shoulders fall. “But, I also think that there is a possibility and you should tell them soon before they fall in love with someone else.” Host brought his head up. Bim was right.

Y/N was going on a date. Presumably, their first date with this person. Dates are used to figure out if someone is in love, or gives an oppurtunity for someone to fall in love. There was still time. He still has time.

Host swings the bathroom door open and Bim hits his head on the floor.

“Ow! Dammit, Host!” He cursed. Host couldn’t feel bad. Not now.

“Host needs help.”

“With what?” Host turns towards Bim, who pulled himself to his feet.

“With getting Y/N to fall in love with me.” Host heard nothing for a second. Then, a chuckle from the gameshow host.

“Alright,” He sighs, “What do you wanna do?”

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so coach ride to the school trip moment, JJ sat together 'cos who else are you gonna sit next to tbh, all the flat whites are here and we're making Grace feel like crap in all the ways, starting with having a loud, extra phone call with Pablo rn and making Grace hear and look at all this on facetime, but literally the whole bus is bearing witness, have you no shame Mia] Jimmy: [I like to think Ella and Asia are sitting together and Ella wants to die cos Asia's so dumb and Hollie's just on her phone watching tiktoks or whatever living her best life] Janis: [a mood but not at all, lmao] Janis: [okay, so my vague idea of something JJ can do to take attention away from Mia, piss her off, but without everyone else being as anti-them as they are anti-her rn, is for Janis to text Grace like come here for a sec, but that confuses Grace (obvs) so then Janis gets up and is like I NEED TO TALK TO YOU so she gets Grace out of this hell but also Mia will be PISSED she has, let's say there's a free seat in front of JJ or whatever where they can sit and then have a whisper sesh where we pretend we're talking about Jimmy but in actuality, we're not saying much beyond, you're welcome and, go along with it] Janis: [then once this has happened, all the flat whites will be 👀 WHAT DID SHE SAY etc, and THEN JJ can be couply cute like snuggling etc now they know they're looking] Jimmy: [I stan your mind boo] Janis: [so, Mia has been pissing us all off for time but it's when she's like, forcibly trying to get Grace to talk to Pablo, Janis visibly stiffens and is like, nah] Janis: If you do me a favour right now, I'll do you two Jimmy: Alright Janis: [inact this Grace moment for a plausible amount of time for a girly chat you simply NEED to have RIGHT NOW so sorry Mia, that's probably 10-15 minutes at least you two have to sit together and talk so, if you wanna, you can be Grace for a sec and we can '-' or we can just say roughly what they'd find to talk about lol it might be amusing potentially] Jimmy changed name to Grace Janis: [after the text, coming over with such a clearly but purposely fake apologetic face like oop sorry to barge in on this phone conversation you're having so publicly 'Grace, can I borrow you for a sec?' with a kind of serious but also excited tone, like, the just-NEED-to-talk-about-this-NOW vibe] Grace: [Grace just like 'oh yeah, sure, babes' in a tone that's lowkey like anything for you anytime because 1. it'll annoy Mia 2. she literally would die for Janis and we know it, making her body language and face as excited but serious like she respects this TRUST, fuck you Mia, before throwing an apologetic look at Mia as they go so she knows it's a deliberate afterthought] Janis: [smiling at Jimmy as you sit back down, opposite/in front of him, which she doesn't smile a lot at school/ever obvs so that itself would be so strange, everything from this point essentially in a whisper/no more than a murmur so no one else can hear, which is fine 'cos object of your affection is RIGHT THERE so everyone understands the vibe without needing to hear anything 'she's a cunt' gritted teeth 'cos we're fuming about this phonecall shenanigan but then switching to a #conspiratorial 😏 look, peeping at him between the seats as if to really drive that home 'i'm gonna shit in her bed' with a grin] Grace: [so effortlessly following this that would be concerning except that we know she's living a fake life every day so it's just standard to her by this point which hurts my heart but okay Gracie 'so is he' because she's having some emotions herself about the Pablo and dad situation but we can't let them show 'totally a match made in hell' holds her face/fans it like whatever Janis is saying is making her blush and giving her like an OMG look before likewise peeping at poor Jimothy but deliberately less subtly because everyone expects her to be that bitch/the friend who turns around when you tell 'em not to 'IOU if you need a lookout or whatever, but I'd hate to tread on barista boy's toes so' looks at him again and smiles herself] Janis: [nodding, really to agree with that sentiment, but making it look as if she's admitting to something like okay, you got me and hiding her own face in her hands like we're so 🤭 'hope he knocks up Asia' when you've said it just to be a bitch and because you're angry but the obvious parallel to what Caleb and Drew actually did to Ali and Carly does not escape you so you shake your head now and then lean in further, saying 'WELL-' at a louder, potentially overhearable volume, as if you're about to spill the ACTUAL tea 'nah, don't worry about it, long as she gets hers'] Grace: [when you sigh because you're so sad and over everything tbh and the reminder of both deadbeat dads doesn't help but you turn it into an excited gasp before it's even out of your mouth properly because that's something you're used to with all these shit lads, likewise the fake facial expressions are so on point as you pretend you're getting that tea and say something loud like OMG because you're obvs so excited you can't help it and do a fake look around like oh I hope nobody heard that 'he's already given her an STI, but you obviously didn't hear that from me' spills actually tea because we're sad and mad rn like] Janis: [giving her a half-genuine smile/look of appreciation that gets overtaken by an OTT 😍 one about your current situation before you'd barely have chance to clock it, giving her the expected playful-slap-on-the-arm like what are you like? at least you can use the actual snort at this news to pretend you're so amused about anything but Mia getting the clap 'very romantic' letting your voice raise again on any word that would help sell your story, actually covertly looking over to the flat whites 'she's hung up now, of course' 'cos what's the point if you can't torture Grace] Grace: [when you're doing a whole apology moment loud enough to be heard by Mia cos will annoy her because you never apologise to her sincerely but also as your chance to actually be like I'm so sorry that our lives are like this and we don't talk anymore because all this comes out when you're drunk but before jj fake date when are you two ever at the same parties, you just aren't and you're having enough emotions to accidentally go there 'he's literally such a dark horse, I can't even' looking at Jimmy and again loud enough to be heard even though you're shading Pablo and Mia because duh, doesn't look over at the gals cos she doesn't need to, we know the drill by now 'duh' but her voice is like a dead version of her real one and thus in such a whisper because the most genuine thing she's said lowkey in forever 'he doesn't care how her day's going and what can she say anyway' cos we all know he only wants to hook up and her life is boring and basic] Janis: [when you can shh her because not that deep and we're so close and sisterly rn but it really 'cos this makes you so uncomfortable like stop 'I know' when you have to force the enthusiasm into your voice on that one 'cos we all know Pablo is an unavoidable dickhead even before this and you're grieving too rn boy but still, Mia, of all people, ew, 'I can't believe it' when your overall demeanor and tone projects that you feel so #blessed but the reality of the words is literally the opposite 'daddy issues, right' clutching your hand to your chest like you're talking about something SO cute he did but the 'awh, bless' is all for that tragic hoe] Grace: ['same' and likewise your tone is the opposite as it also is when you nod in agreement to the daddy issues comment cos that hits close to home obvs 'this trip is gonna be so' loud enough that people can hear that too even though you also mean that in a please kill me way not a I really ship JJ way] Janis: ['Yeah...' and a sigh that is SO wistful and not at all exasperated at all the shit Mia can and will try to pull, going back to the #conspiratorial 😏 look 'I've got plans' and winking 'cos have, getting up like better get back to it 🤭 and giving her a one-armed hug as you stand to go, purely as a fuck you ladies, turning back like oh! just remembered and handing her your phone 'downloaded that album you wanted to listen to' at normal volume, so she has an excuse to stay put and put headphones on] Grace: [making your own song and dance of forgetting something too purely because you're dying over the hug like I'm so dumb I'd forget my weave if it wasn't glued in and passing her something between the seats once she's sat back down with Jimboy, honestly fuck knows what it even is but it'd drive everyone crazy trying to guess] Grace changed name to Jimmy Janis: [gonna lowkey need that phone back but it can easily be passed back via the seats so that's no issue, just not looking at him yet 'cos can't 'cos that was so OTT for you (obvs) but you can have a bit of 😳 before you commit to this part of it] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her and passes her his phone (oh the trust ladies) and takes a headphone leaving her one cos as far as everyone knows Grace has hers and he knows everyone is looking at them and what is going on and that's his way of telling her he's keeping up with it] Janis: [when you a mvp, nudging him back and it means far too much to be decipherable like sorry, thanks and more all in one gesture, leaning in figuratively and literally for this headphone moment, which makes resting your head on his shoulder that much easier] Jimmy: [we know he's softly playing with her hair for the first time ever because we can pretend he's playing along but really he's wanted to do that since day 1 baby] Janis: [when you do put some music on so you can have some vague distraction but you put it on pretty quiet, so you could still whisper to each other 'alright?' like, asking if he is, if that was, if this is, again, too many potential ways to mean that] Jimmy: [when you just say yeah at a normal volume because use that to your advantage] Janis: ['yeah?' back in what can only be described as low-key saucy, like oh really vibes but like, oh really lol] Jimmy: [gives her the first LOOK ever and nods because we can both play this game gal] Janis: [when the fact that that shook you works to your advantage so you don't have to worry, turning this into more of a snug than it was, putting your arms around his waist and loudly whispering 'I'll make it up to you' 'cos gonna pay off that debt but take that as you will people] Jimmy: [when you can just be 😏 cos it works but you're wondering how she reckons she'll do that and you know she knows that] Janis: [okay, using his phone to type back and forth 'cos that'll look cute and keep up the lie] Janis: how does she look Janis: scale 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: 😡😡😡 Janis: not bad Jimmy: but will it do? Janis: got three days to 🤯 Jimmy: if you need 'em Janis: that a challenge? Jimmy: does it sound like one? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [takes her hand to write ok on it because it looks like they're holding hands so challenge accepted vibes] Janis: 🦐 is 😢 Jimmy: duh he's got resting 🦐 face Janis: [loling 'cos hohoho so funny babe but part of that was genuine] Jimmy: [when you gotta give OTT 😍 cos she's got a cute laugh] Janis: do I need to put 🤢 on the scale Janis: or is that purely 💀#1 💀#2 Jimmy: they would reckon that's #ultimategoals Jimmy: a lad who triggers their gag reflex Janis: 🤮💘 Janis: GROSS Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [😍 for the fans] Jimmy: [don't think about how bad you wanna kiss her boy, you can't risk being the new Mia of this coach] Janis: [you gonna have to chill but it won't be that much of a journey wherever you're going so don't worry lads, in fact, close your eyes and pretend you gonna have a lil nap on him] Jimmy: [just doodling on her with your fingertip really softly I like to imagine he's drawing out the scale] Janis: [love that, we must skip though] Jimmy: [so okay, activity time, we having Grace on JJ's team cos suck a dick Mia and a boy she can flirt with, then some random] Janis: [it should be a girl Mia has beef with, for some ridiculous reason, like bitch has deffo not done anything lol] Jimmy: [yasssssss I love that] Janis: [yo y'all better win or at least beat her team] Jimmy: [wouldn't be hard to beat her or loads of the others even if they don't win but ngl I'd love it if you did] Janis: [do it we're writing it fight us they're competitive and they're dying 💀#1 💀#2 so bye] Jimmy: [fuck it nobody would be expecting any of yall to win or care so I'm about it] Janis: [hohaha start as you mean to go on tbh] Jimmy: where on the scale now? Janis: 🤬 Janis: definitely heard her name followed by bitch Janis: my review even less favourable Jimmy: [picks her up and spins her round like he's so buzzing they won] Jimmy: that'll help Janis: don't put your back out Jimmy: I ain't as old as I look Janis: [😏] Janis: that's what they all say Jimmy: you been to catholic school, girl? Jimmy: I get why they all wanna crack onto you now Janis: rude you didn't get it before Jimmy: wouldn't wanna make your head any bigger Jimmy: touch and go picking you up as it were Janis: not my fault you're short and I ain't 💀 Jimmy: piss off am I Janis: no need to 🤬 Janis: we 🏆🥇 Jimmy: What you trying to make me 😭 for then? Janis: awh, babes Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hmu when you wanna make a cracking bridge again then Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: 😎🔥 Janis: I get it, IOU rn Janis: 💭 on Jimmy: I have had the one Janis: yeah? Jimmy: this is working, yeah? Jimmy: shes at 🤬 you said Janis: it's making this trip worthwhile, yeah Jimmy: nowt to do but crack on with making it more worthwhile Jimmy: neither of us can move for 'better' offers, can we? Janis: Literally gonna rip out my own 👀 or everyone else's if they don't calm it down with the sexts Janis: so, you wanna 🤯? Jimmy: want is a bit strong Jimmy: but if we're pissing about performing for her, might as well clear our DMs of dickheads while we're at it Janis: yeah, it makes sense Janis: may as well use it to our advantage any way we can Jimmy: while we're stuck here doing this bollocks at least Janis: kills time, keeps us from killing anyone Janis: I'm down Jimmy: Alright Janis: how are we gonna do this then Janis: like, exactly Jimmy: How do you wanna do it? Janis: We'll have to go some for people to calm down, obviously Janis: people have no problem being hoes Jimmy: I know Janis: so like, full 😍 then Janis: ? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: won't be that hard, people have no problem believing we're #fated either if all those likes are owt to go by Janis: they're idiots and I'm well convincing Jimmy: yeah alright, Julie, I'll collect your oscar for you on my way out 'cause it won't be for long either Jimmy: I'll piss off soon and no dickhead's expecting us to keep going at being that starcrossed Janis: 'course not Janis: they'll forget about you in a week or two Janis: makes sense for this trip, as you said Janis: everyone's tryna get off with each other and it gets both of us an easy out Jimmy: mine or yours tonight then, my dear? Janis: I'll come to yours Janis: then Grace can have then over and they can 👀 I ain't in Jimmy: you're on to a real winner today, girl Jimmy: not just a big head Janis: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 Janis: specifically no 👻ing Jimmy: What about 🥃? Janis: DUH Janis: you got some? Jimmy: not very #goals to have to bribe you but Jimmy: wouldn't come here empty handed Janis: obviously I've only got eyes for you, Casper Janis: oh, who are you rooming with? Jimmy: Dunno, man bun, deepest of v neck t-shirts? Jimmy: only got eyes for his vape Janis: oh Janis: yep, I know who you mean Janis: 🎨 description Jimmy: ain't saying I could be an undercover 👮 or one of their informants but if Mia's dad goes down I will take the 🏆 Janis: 🐀boy can be your new name Jimmy: tah, sweetheart 💕 Janis: yeah, well couple goals that Jimmy: that'll be why I propositioned you Janis: is propositioned a sexy word? Janis: it sounds a bit 👮 report Jimmy: Busted, I'm 45 and faking being a real #lad an' all, the 😎 hide my crows feet Jimmy: can't have any secrets between us, like Janis: gotcha Janis: makes sense why Mia is 🤤 Jimmy: and sir Janis: you wish Janis: devvo he ain't here Jimmy: alright, put down the 🧂 babe, you'll give me a heart attack Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah secretly so jealous of our fat, balding 🤓 of a teacher Jimmy: DUH Janis: 💁 Jimmy: while we're chucking tea about, I weren't on that teen soap, so warn us if you're gonna show up to my door naked Janis: not my plan Janis: reckon we can scandalize without going there Janis: soap and romcom tropes would be our friend though so let us down there Jimmy: soz, I were #blessed with the accent and the IQ for that bollocks but none of the emotional range Janis: leave off Janis: your 😍 were solid Jimmy: save the compliments til my room's full of dickheads to overhear Janis: just don't mention the part where I fake it like a pro Janis: not an idiot Jimmy: easy to say you take it like a pro instead Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: lovely Janis: are we fucking or are we 💘 Janis: important distinction Jimmy: reckon we can have it all, Juliet Janis: alright Jimmy: I know it ain't just for 💀👑 now but nowt'll piss her off more Janis: right, she's incapable of any of the finer human emotions Janis: oh, her boyfriend gave her an STI Jimmy: lovely, that Jimmy: which one? Janis: which boyfriend or which STI, yeah Janis: the one I'm related to, by all accounts Janis: 🤞 chlamydia so I don't need to cuntpunt her Jimmy: sounds a bit like the name of a kid fiddling island her dad does his business lunches on Jimmy: works on loads of levels Janis: 😏 Janis: he will be SO proud Janis: though, probably casually racist which is what makes him the ideal candidate for a boyfriend Jimmy: 🤞 his secretary ain't related to me if her dad's caught it off her Jimmy: turned down that teen soap for a reason Janis: 😱 Janis: goes all the way to the top Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: was slightly concerned you were saying you fuck your cousins or something but as I only need to fake touch you Janis: you do you Jimmy: I ain't got any cousins, soz if that's pissed on your ultimate kink Janis: I'm not fucking 'em, new boy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you don't vape, do you Jimmy: what kind of fucking question is that? Janis: a valid one 😎boy Janis: 'cos that shit gives me a headache Janis: not gonna sit in your cotton candy cloud Jimmy: you've had a 🚬 with me, dickhead Jimmy: did that taste 🍧🍦🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬 🍫 to you? Janis: might mix your vices Janis: but nah, you're old school 😎 good Jimmy: I can 💀💀💀 buzzing, grinning in my ⚰ over knowing you reckon I'm 👍 Janis: obviously Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: 🥃 give you a headache an' all, you want a 🍹 instead, Jane? Janis: piss off Janis: 1. offering shit you can't provide unless you've brought mixer and ice with you too 2. being a dickhead Jimmy: 1. someone'll have brought a 🧃 it's a school trip 2. you're being a dickhead Janis: 1. you a barman and all? 2. save it for your roommates, lover boy Jimmy: 1. find out in a bit, won't you 2. I don't have a vape pen, remember, fucked the foreplay right up Janis: your idea of foreplay is worrying Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: bit late to spread that about, we're committed to being #goals not what were it Mia said, weird freaks or some bollocks Janis: can tell she's not an artist Janis: words not her strong suit Jimmy: what is? Janis: ♙ Jimmy: if that ain't nerd flirting, I dunno what would be Janis: seeing she can control mindless idiots ain't 😍 Janis: if I wanted to be surrounded by those kind of people, I could do it easier Jimmy: the game though, all that eye contact and pissing about Janis: find us a board and we'll give 'em foreplay then Jimmy: [draws her a pisstakey flirty board] Janis: 😂 Janis: lemme practice not blinking Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my line Jimmy: Alright, go on Janis: I already said it Jimmy: you wanted the practice Jimmy: have another crack at it Janis: I'll say it when they can hear Jimmy: 🤞 you'll say a bit more than that Jimmy: they're idiots, you already said an' all Janis: idiots need visuals, I'm aware Jimmy: you've got something going on behind them unblinking 👀 I'm aware Janis: 💘 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [skipperoni to showing up in your PJs, a bold move] Jimmy: [when it's a lewk and his jaw hitting the floor isn't fake at all] Janis: [we just pretending we don't even know Oli/anyone else is there, soz boy] Jimmy: [at least he can shamelessly check her out like 🤤 cos they are though] Janis: [we asking for the drink] Jimmy: [thanks for that Ian] Janis: [I hope you're bottom bunk if not enjoy the view everyone whilst you climb up, like] Jimmy: [for that reason alone he has to be top] Janis: ['I was bored without you'] Jimmy: ['you better stay for a bit then' obviously joins her up there because was making a show of looking out to check for teachers and all that nonsense 'at least til you ain't bored'] Janis: ['sounds like a plan' and a LOOK under the pretense they're probably standing about so can see, 'cos y'all ain't gonna be on the bottom bunk together are you] Jimmy: [a LOOK back before you open the bottle for her because gentlemanly not cos you're stalling nope] Janis: ['Slainte' and taking a shot whilst maintaining that ♙ eye contact] Jimmy: [does the thing where he takes the bottle from her but instead of taking a drink he pulls her into him but I'm gonna say that her hair is down so they can't see what he's doing because the truth is nothing yet even though it looks like he's kissing her neck or whatever because he's a good boy and he wants to know it's okay first so a LOOK which is actually an unspoken question lol] Janis: [taking the bottle back and putting it down on top of the wardrobe or whatever in reply like yeah, let's go for it, partly to prove you're down for the plan and not scared and also 'cos you know Oli will get too awks and make them all leave if you actually do anything so it won't have to be a Thing for ages, like] Jimmy: [goes in for the first kiss and it's obviously EVERYTHING goodbye] Janis: [rip you two, it's DEFINITELY continuing after they out the door, even if for a hot sec, you are that blatant, like, just in case they forgot something or whatever] Jimmy: [duh it'd ruin everything if they forgot their vape and came back and you weren't still going] Janis: [just dedicated to the act, alright] Jimmy: [he doesn't know they're related so lowkey surprised they left so fast and of course gutted we know but acting unfazed by having that drink finally] Jimmy: [bit rude cos that makes it seem like you hated it but okay boy] Janis: [not about to bring it up before or after, just hopping down like ta-da and looking at the window so casually] Jimmy: goes to the window and 🚬 out of it cos still offended she asked you if you vape] Janis: [sniffs like she seeing if it's 🍧🍦🧁🍰🎂🍭🍬 🍫 or nah] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her but in a sassy way not a Harley aggressively blowing smoke at Ro back in the day way] Janis: [still wafting it away like we're Mia levels of disgusted but 😏 'cos not] Jimmy: [turning back to the window but obvs amused, we're all 😏 rn] Janis: ['they'll tell everyone, Nathan has a big mouth' looks around the room like 'what are we gonna do for at least 15 minutes, so you don't get THAT rep'] Jimmy: ['does look a bit like if Mick Jagger fucked some local lass and weren't feeling the need to shout about it for obvious reasons' looks at the bottle wherever he left that and back at her with a shrug 'fancy a game of chess?']] Janis: [snorts 'we'd all know about it anyway, no one 'round here can keep a secret' follows his eyes with hers and nods 'alright'] Jimmy: [IRL 🤞 and checks his phone we know he's checking on Cass and Bobby but it looks like he's checking if people are saying shit yet so, picks the bottle back up, takes a swing and passes it back to her] Janis: [when a thought #hits and you get your phone and as you're taking your swig you do some searching and put some sex sounds on and put your phone under a pillow to convincingly muffle it and 🤫 at him like speak quiet if you're gonna] Jimmy: [🙄 but also nod because it's a good idea] Janis: [nudges him as she walks back to give him the bottle 'you want me to be -' mimes 🤐 '-or you expect me to sit here and do it myself?' pointing at the phone like no thank you] Jimmy: ['I get it, everyone's so desperate to fuck you or know what it'd be like they've got their ears pressed to the door'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, your point?] Jimmy: [gets back on his bed and gets comfy so she'll have to get on either Ollie's bed below or his if she wants to talk to him cos shh] Janis: [🙄 and a dramatic sigh but fake is sexy but you're 😒] Jimmy: [texting his sister for a while but then his phone is blowing up because people are scandalised so he chucks it at her so she can see] Janis: ['phase one complete' shaking her head as she reads a bit but then chucking it back like a hot 🥔 'probably have to eat dinner at the same table'] Jimmy: [nods but when he's thinking about everyone watching them his own idea hits and it's the lovebites so he gestures for her to come here] Janis: [climbing up this bed again like ugh, excuse me] Jimmy: [I think to think she's as far away as she can be so he's like 'come here' but we whispering of course so it's accidentally hot] Janis: [assumedly, and we are questioning this but we also aren't 'cos we do come closer, obviously] Jimmy: [reaches out and touches her hair, moving it away from her neck and looking at that as yet unbruised skin and we know he's thinking if she has her hair up everyone else will be seeing that too so he looks at her and you know it's meant to be a look like do you see where I'm going with this but it's shamelessly just a LOOK] Janis: [when you automatically bring your hand up to move his away like oi, excuse me but you catch up with this being part of the plan so then you're just holding his hand there 'good thinking' when again, you have to whisper so it all just sounds so much hotter and #intoit than it would if you could just speak but soz, you can't] Jimmy: [looks at her phone under the pillow still playing those saucy sex sounds 'could just google how to fake 'em' cos you know people have blatantly done that but then he's looking at her again and licking his lips and generally being hot af] Janis: [shakes head 'that's more effort' taking the phone and turning them off, like, how suggestive like are you gonna be making the noises now too or what 'meant to make our lives easier, yeah?'] Jimmy: [holds her hair out of the way which is also lowkey hot soz not soz and goes in cos unspoken challenge accepted on getting her to make better noises than that] Janis: [we out here doing the most] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [know we giving him some in the process, only fair, not like we need to] Jimmy: [there's no hiding behind your hair boy and that's the only flimsy excuse we need] Janis: [and we need to be THAT obvious so everyone knows, duh] Jimmy: [like she said, gotta make both of their lives easier not only make one of 'em look swag, very much mutual and both #goals thank you] Janis: [exactly, we're fucking off and over the flat whites and co, not each other] Jimmy: [thank god she turned off the sounds because there's no stopping him from making any and we need to pretend it's OTT fake at this point instead of him being THAT into it already] Janis: ['you're a good actor' 'cos you said you'd say it] Jimmy: ['you're -' we're not finishing that because he hasn't said it loud enough to style it into a fake compliment] Janis: [biting his bottom lip 'cos you weren't kissing for long enough so you simply gotta so they're more bruised] Jimmy: [I love that you could've just bitten your own but more fun for everyone like that because you know he'd follow suit and do the same for her] Janis: [we need to be thorough here, that might not be enough] Jimmy: [hence just lowkey making out now but I think we should have a teacher catch them cos Mia or Ella snitched to cockblock because in the OG they had that punishment to clean everyone else's rooms and they stole their shit and I think we should still do that cos it was a mood but in the OG they had that punishment cos they snuck off to the pub which they don't need to because Ian's stash is a thing this time] Janis: [agree fully because a. they would and b. the teacher can be so shame-y and then everyone will hear if said teacher is going off and then bitching about them to the other teachers] Jimmy: [yeah it's a much better idea and an actual decent way to cockblock so they don't just hook up rn] Janis: [I'm with it, 'cos we can steal someone else's booze if theirs also gets confiscated for bonus scandal points] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [okay, so dinner after we've been bollocked and everyone is shooketh, not allowed to sit together so] Jimmy: [oooh we should say Grace is putting make up on her love bites for her because that is a way to draw even more attention to it cos lowkey in the midst of dinner here] Janis: [gets out kit lmao] Jimmy: [exactly and a reason for her to be like Grace you need to sit with me so Mia is seething] Janis: [what did you think would come of this really, Mia, there's only so much 'trouble' they can get into and they don't care] Jimmy: [and like if you thought Grace would be embarrassed and that would drive a wedge you haven't considered that 1. she's a hoe 2. so much worse shit gets said about the cali fam as standard] Janis: [it's gonna get worse if they come in your room later in this trip so like, blow your load now alright girl] Jimmy: [which needs to happen because that was the fake injury moment and was iconic] Janis: [mhmm] Janis: OI DICKHEAD REMEMBER TO LOOK 😍 WHEN YOU READ THIS 😘 Jimmy: [does a real little lol and then looks at her IRL with fake longing] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: 👌 Janis: No one is gonna think it's over this food, so yeah, it'll do Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: bit rude they're trying to poison us before we do it ourselves Janis: tell he's the maths teacher Janis: not following the plot here Jimmy: might 🔪 the messenger if he's going that hard with the Shakespeare but alright Jimmy: I'll obvs die for you Janis: the bruises aren't that bad Jimmy: they look 🥇 from here Janis: [a LOOK from across the room] Janis: done the job, like Jimmy: [one back of course that's really lingering to really make the point] Jimmy: as they go, pissing about with you for a bit's not as bad as cleaning 🚽 Jimmy: don't get a massive head over it but Janis: unlikely Janis: generous and forthcoming with the 🥇 compliments as you are Jimmy: Oi, don't forget my 🥇💡 Janis: you got your recognition Jimmy: piss easy to get more Janis: obviously Janis: but what next Janis: aside from all this nerd flirting business Jimmy: Depends Janis: ? Jimmy: how you feeling? Jimmy: you look a bit cold to me Janis: [looks down at nips lmao] Jimmy: [he wants to lol but is 😏 cos he comes over to her and puts his hoodie on her, like enjoy the show everyone] Janis: alright, fairplay Janis: [snuggling in like full smug suck it everyone] Jimmy: check the pockets 🎁💕 Jimmy: [has drawn her something and written a little love note for the added brag] Janis: [making a big show of being extra secretive and trying to look at it privately so everyone on the table is 👀] Jimmy: [he made sure it was extra thankfully in case they can see and didn't write like oi dickhead] Janis: I'll 📸 it later Janis: was 🤞 for some 🚬s Jimmy: I've kept hold of them Jimmy: find me later Janis: very see me after class vibes Janis: alright Jimmy: if you wanna stick your uniform on for the 📸 go ahead, mate Janis: 💔 I didn't bring it with Janis: could wait but Jimmy: 💀👑 will be, mad for a uniform, her Janis: so I've heard Janis: what is it then, little apron Jimmy: [sends the CG instagram cos he won't have random pics of himself in his uniform on his phone] Janis: very Janis: starbucks lite Jimmy: they'll be 🎻💔😭 Janis: delete this comment 'fore I hit send Jimmy: already @ed it to 'em Janis: 🐍 you are Jimmy: got the fang marks to prove it, you Janis: now she's punched us with a brush as well quite sore tbh Jimmy: poor baby Janis: yes you're very concerned Janis: Mr Lucas is Jimmy: gutted he can't kiss you better is what he is Janis: idk, maybe he's 🎻💔😭 'cos you've ruined me Jimmy: very old school, that Jimmy: you're alright, I got no STI's Janis: @him Jimmy: what's his @? Janis: @virginsonly Jimmy: did he used to work at the local catholic or what? Janis: just to the point and selective, I think Jimmy: now I'm 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: why ain't I good enough for you sir? Fucking LOVE me, like Janis: and scene 🎬👏 Jimmy: Hang on, I need to be standing on this table Janis: 😏 Janis: love that for him, you fully crack after what, a month or so of bumming Jimmy: when you know you know, mate Jimmy: what we've got is SO real Janis: of course it is Jimmy: speaking of, what are we doing in a bit? Janis: having a 🚬 Janis: you said Jimmy: I mean are we 🎻💔😭 apart like 🤓 or 💕 together like 😎 Jimmy: how do you want the 🎬? Jimmy: can do loads with socials either @ or with Janis: whatever she says Janis: or fucks Janis: 🤓 is how she actually kicks it so Janis: 😎 is better Janis: what can they do, send us home Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: pay for my cab 'cos not gonna get my mum out here Janis: starcrossed love is the way to go, so, max sneaking for 💘 Jimmy: Alright Janis: you don't give a shit, right? Jimmy: about what? Janis: potential trouble, this trips' educational value, etc Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: just making sure Jimmy: [comes over to her again and whispers in her ear 'there's your answer' cos he really gives a shit about absolutely nothing rn and the teachers would be fuming cos stop it boy] Janis: [when the 😏 is real 'cos likewise, cares about nothing and is so bored of everyone and everything but obvs the quick kiss is to piss 'em off further] Jimmy: [when you turn it into more a kiss ™ as if you can't not because you can't get enough of her but not so much that you're Mia on the coach about it] Janis: [know people are gonna be highkey anyways like why not lads] Jimmy: [exactly and loads of 'em are putting it on their stories etc blatantly so] Janis: [#exposure] Jimmy: [I feel like the teachers should make either him or her go to their room because the kind of bullshit that achieves nothing like are you gonna make sure they stay there or what] Janis: [literally, like oh, without supervision, at least you've been smart enough to just send the one but still, it should be him I think] Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: [sends a pic of him on his bed really comfy like but if anyone sees it looks like an I wish you were here kinda thing instead of rubbing it in lol] Janis: twat Janis: i've got to stay here and do fucking 'fun' team building bullshit Jimmy: if you can't get yourself sent out, then you can't, babe Jimmy: if any dickhead were capable of 🥇 you wouldn't need me Janis: 😒 Janis: they aren't gonna send us both out, even they aren't quite that thick Janis: rude Jimmy: they can't stop you going for a piss, even Mia's dad would win that case and he is that thick Jimmy: you don't go back and what? Janis: they definitely go to our rooms Janis: so where are we going? Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: wherever, far away enough from the windows and we'll be alright Jimmy: Come on then Janis: post that pic whilst you're waiting Jimmy: [does obviously] Janis: [posts his doodle in the comments of people saying how cute he is like IKR] Jimmy: you're a good actor an' all Janis: Take my bow as I make my escape Jimmy: head that big, ain't an easy feat not to topple over Janis: what I'm hearing is, you think I'm well impressive Jimmy: didn't realise you were deaf, my little brother will be chuffed to bits Janis: not gonna fake meet your family Janis: calm yourself down, boy Jimmy: weren't asking you to Jimmy: steady on, girl Janis: mhmm, what was that? Janis: my selective hearing couldn't make it out Jimmy: [sends a voice memo but instead of calling her a dickhead or something because he doesn't know where she is rn and who might here it's like I SAID COME HERE] Jimmy: [*hear I cannot type today at all] Janis: 👏 Janis: I am omw Janis: please make sure you are decent Jimmy: as an actor? 👌 Janis: was thinking don't open the door naked either Janis: but maybe those two can't coexist Jimmy: stop thinking about me naked, Judith Janis: you started it Jimmy: Calm yourself down, so bloody extra, you Janis: oh sorry, didn't know I was in a groupchat with the GALS Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: prepare to be that #shook Janis: [turn up to collect him] Jimmy: [does an IRL equivalent of 😱] Janis: ['come on, kev' 😏] Jimmy: [we out of here] Janis: [go for your smoke lads 'so what #content are we getting out of this?'] Jimmy: [they should do the sexy blowback thing purely for #content obvs] Janis: [purely, mhmm] Jimmy: [and I vote she should sit on his lap for the first time cos casual 🚬 photoshoot happening] Janis: [gotta make sure you're in shot, all of this is well necessary] Jimmy: [you wouldn't wanna be out of frame and have to take these pics all over again oh no] Janis: [that would just not be on brand, arty boy] Jimmy: [I love how extra you two are immediately, it's literally my fave thing] Janis: [fully could have stayed in your room and been like ha soz but no] Jimmy: [you should wanna be caught but we know why you don't] Janis: [the tea, the pretense of taking videos and pics is so flimsy but at least you tried and didn't just go to makeout] Jimmy: [and at least there will be actual #content because anything that annoys Mia gives me life] Janis: [exactly dr phil you're allowed] Jimmy: [what else can these little rebhogs do?] Janis: [maybe if the teachers are looking for her again, and now him 'cos checked their rooms, they can come back in together and be like, it's not fair to leave Jimmy out 'cos not and then just be couply af whilst doing whatever evening activity 'til bed] Jimmy: [I'll allow it because their teachers are clearly shit and like they've already given them their punishment to clean up everyone's rooms tomorrow so as far as they are concerned job done] Janis: [can't stop teen hormones and didn't come on the trip to be in his room so yolo, then Mia will be annoyed again 'cos no one is getting in trouble] Jimmy: [yeah she'd be trying to cause shit in this activity no doubt, ooh maybe that's when she or Ella gets hurt and makes a meal of it so it's not even the same day as Janis they are just trying to milk it that hard] Janis: [a mood, can also put an end to everyone's fun low-key, tah ladies] Jimmy: no oscar for her Janis: How is she that bad at it when she's faked every boy she's been with is Mia? Janis: poor show Jimmy: brb I gotta @ my dad to tell him my brother ain't the biggest cry baby going and pour bleach into my eyes and ears Janis: bit insensitive on the ears but yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *🤢 Jimmy: 💀#2💕💀👑 Janis: it has been a few hours since they last purged probs Janis: explains everything Jimmy: tah for another lovely visual Jimmy: SUCH #couplegoals them Janis: your toothbrush is my toothbrush, babe Jimmy: I were thinking if you come round early enough in the morning without waking Gracie when you do we can make it look like you stayed and we're sneaking you out when the dickhead I'm sharing with wakes up Janis: That's a good idea Janis: she gets up early, so it'd feel more like late night but still works Janis: they should all be up to, even if their end result is more 'natural' Jimmy: be piss easy to make sure enough of 'em see you then Jimmy: me an' all when I walk you back Janis: right to the door Janis: well gentlemanly Janis: less so if I invite you in for round two but that depends who's seen and who's still watching, obvs Jimmy: 💰 on Mr Lucas from the bushes Janis: 🤞 Janis: nice to know he still cares, like Jimmy: it's all #bants til he comes out of the shrubs with a 💍 Janis: 😬 Jimmy: soz mate, bit rude to get your hopes up Janis: now you can't read facial expressions 😎boy Jimmy: never said I could Jimmy: just lips, and I ain't looking at yours unless the rest of the dickheads are 👀 at us Janis: facetime goodnight would be a little much Jimmy: unless 💀👑 is tucked up with Grace while her missus is in sick bay Janis: thankfully not Janis: can't come in without being invited Jimmy: you'd know about that vampire girl Janis: says you Janis: very tender, as I previously mentioned Jimmy: I did say it, yeah, and I previously mentioned how sympathetic I was an' all Janis: not your most convincing work Jimmy: 💔 Janis: yeah, you should feel bad Jimmy: for which bit? Janis: your shit performance Janis: obvs Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I ain't given a single shit performance Janis: your sympathy just seems very disingenuous to me Jimmy: Baby, I'm so sorry Janis: more like it Janis: believe you've done this before now Jimmy: done what before, said sorry or left a lass needing a 🩹? Janis: had a girlfriend Janis: soz Mr Lucas Jimmy: no need to @ him Janis: another secret to keep? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the secret that I ain't gay is already out, mate Janis: devastated Janis: gay bff is probably well more up their street than boyfriend tbh Jimmy: probably not too late to go for that Jimmy: if you really wanna Jimmy: come round and I'll plait your hair or some bollocks Jimmy: you already know my crushes Janis: 🤢 Janis: is what I think to that suggestion Janis: 💘 easier to fake Jimmy: for you 'cause I'm well fit and mysterious Janis: for me 'cos I don't have to talk to you half as much this way Jimmy: you can be the strong silent type any way we play this, Jasmine Jimmy: it's alright Janis: nah Janis: as I said, the straight girls will be more up on you, if anything Janis: and the gay boys would actually be 💔 from the queer bait so probs don't Jimmy: #whenshecaresaboutsparingyoudickpicDMs Jimmy: I get it, I don't deserve you, sweetheart Janis: don't have time to count all the ways you're so lucky to have me Janis: cataloging all these dick pics Jimmy: be a #goals tweet though Jimmy: hang on fans, I'm so lucky I ran out of characters Janis: have that for free Janis: need to up my cute though Janis: not my fault I can't draw Jimmy: yeah you can Jimmy: that 🎨 of Mia and her dad cracking onto each other was a top masterpiece Jimmy: [is tweeting about how lucky he is to have her obvs] Janis: you're a sick, sick boy Jimmy: came from your 🧠 girl Jimmy: I just appreciated it, what you do with #art Janis: never said I weren't as well Janis: have to admit they might have us both beat though Jimmy: true 💕 Jimmy: nowt we can do to compete with owt that real Jimmy: or that twisted Janis: unless you are 45 Janis: little bit of tan and we could sell that you're my dad Jimmy: Northern 45 is a southern twat's 95 Jimmy: dunno if black face is the way to go though, mate Jimmy: ain't worked out brilliantly for loads of others Janis: you wanted twisted Jimmy: but the deal is, when you want me 💀💀💀 you do the deed yourself Jimmy: don't need Bill rising from ⚰ pissed off about another rewrite Janis: alright, pair of spoilsports Janis: how you wanna go out then Janis: 💣 🧨 🪓 🔪 🗡 ⚔️ 💊 💉 🪒 Jimmy: lasses first, would hate to ✔ your fave Jimmy: loads you missed an' all Jimmy: 🏑🏏🏹⛸🔧🔨🛁 Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably 🔪 Janis: or 🔨 maybe Janis: most personal Janis: how about you? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: are we gonna do #matching or different? Janis: You only get one Janis: I'll kill you any way you like Jimmy: hot Janis: 🔥 Janis: but I won't be cuddling up to your crispy corpse Jimmy: Fuck me, I forgot one an' all! Janis: I mean, possibilities are endless Janis: but 💏 🤵👰 🤰 👶 is boring and not worth mentioning Jimmy: don't try and make me feel better, baby, fuming I am Jimmy: and now I dunno if I want 🔪 for the wound 🎨 or 🔨 for the 🩸 splatter 🎨 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I'll stab you but not let you bleed out Janis: take some #aes photos and then 🔨 final blow Janis: there you go Jimmy: that's the cutest thing I've ever heard, you don't need to work on nowt Jimmy: 🥇 you Janis: I'd screenshot asap then, if Mia wouldn't call the 👮 like the concerned Karen she is Jimmy: [writes some actual cute shit that everybody will eat up] Jimmy: type that out and screenshot it Janis: nice that you 💘 yourself so much that you can think of all that 😏 Janis: [does though] Jimmy: piss easy when they don't know who I am Janis: yeah Janis: don't need to tell me Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: it's the shit they do know that's unavoidable Janis: like Mick Jagger being my dad Jimmy: bit rude he didn't teach you nowt about how to perform but I'll carry us both til you figure it out Janis: got the opposite in writing somewhere in this convo Janis: don't be bitter 'cos I'm 🥇 without having to do as much Jimmy: You're only that good if you can do his hip move Jimmy: and there's not gonna be any evidence of that about anywhere Janis: not that committed to the bit, rat boy Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: take 🥈 and piss off, bad blood Janis: you piss off, dickhead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I'll smack you Jimmy: go on Jimmy: hit me hard enough and I can get out of doing our bollocks punishment Janis: I think not Janis: I'll go to the sick bay and you can carry cleanup too as you're so smug Jimmy: I get it, you miss El Jimmy: she is a fucking delight Janis: it's like she's constantly on the blob, which is ironic Jimmy: she's given 💀👑 her 🩸💦 and 😥 today Jimmy: if anyone's smug it'll be that pair Janis: unacceptable Janis: especially after I made smoking the opposite of GROSS Jimmy: we've done alright Janis: it'll be 🤯 come morning though Jimmy: you reckon? Janis: don't you? Jimmy: I reckon she needs to 👀 it for herself to be 🤯 Janis: maybe Janis: she's got form for being that bitch Jimmy: if we can't guarantee she'll be about in the morning, we'll have to do something when she is later Janis: yeah Janis: no need to put out the 🔥 before this bullshit trip is over Janis: even by their standards, not a good look Jimmy: right Janis: after that Janis: not got to think about them or that shithole for three weeks so Jimmy: you're decent at pillow talk, Jenna Janis: 👍 Janis: how do we end this Janis: in a way that still fucks them off somehow Jimmy: How do they get chucked? Jimmy: just do the opposite when you decide to bin me off Janis: when? Jimmy: Dunno when I'll be pissing off out of 🍀 yet Jimmy: but 🤞 you won't see me back at school Janis: I get it Janis: we used to move around a lot, when we were younger, I don't remember it much Jimmy: if Ian's still being a knobhead and I am about, do it then Janis: alright Jimmy: alright, give me a bell when you're on your way back to my door, I'll get you in without waking him Janis: he's a heavy sleeper Jimmy: how do you know? Janis: my cousin Janis: used to be closer, when we was kids, sleepovers n shit Jimmy: you should've said Jimmy: wouldn't have made you put on a show in front of him Janis: I don't care Janis: why he left in a hurry though Jimmy: do you want me to meet you at yours in a bit instead? Janis: can do Janis: more guarantee of seeing them then Janis: come to vet her outfit or whatever Jimmy: what time's Grace up? Jimmy: I'll be there an hour before, still give me time to get in and us set up if she wakes any earlier Janis: Our first thing is at 9, yeah? Janis: if she's having breakfast, 6.30, if not, 7 Janis: 6 should be fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: get some sleep Janis: not enough you don't look shagged out, of course Jimmy: how you were going on earlier I thought she were gonna get up before the sun bothered Janis: I forgot Janis: school's earlier and our bus takes even longer Janis: she has to go to bed like a 👵 Jimmy: bet that goes down well with the lads Janis: dunno Janis: that's what weekends are for, right Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: my ex near enough moved herself in Jimmy: very #goals obvs Janis: she don't last long enough to do that Jimmy: didn't need to Sherlock that Jimmy: goes without saying or sleuthing Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: shut up and get to bed Janis: rude Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: or is it thoughtful and 💕? Janis: put out a twitter poll if you like Janis: I'll be here not sleeping Jimmy: Alright, sod you then Janis: sweet dreams Jimmy: never said I were sleeping Janis: tell me if we're posting it and I'll fake enthusiasm at whatever you're doing instead Janis: don't want the sexts to be one-sided Jimmy: we should probably be together by now far as the fans know Jimmy: you're alright Janis: true Janis: mutual masturbation less of a flex Jimmy: Save it for the LDR Janis: you're alright, won't make you do it when you get home Janis: find a new fake boyf to keep them off my dick Jimmy: you can't dump me the second I do one, wouldn't be #goals Jimmy: starcrossed is our brand, mate Janis: awh, babe, you'd do that for me?! 💕 Jimmy: and myself, fuck all's gonna change when I leave here Jimmy: not just being racist against paddys, like Janis: if you go back, won't you have all your mates Jimmy: and what? Janis: well, you won't be new boy Janis: no one needs to follow you about and generally be a massive tit, like Jimmy: home's got bigger tits Jimmy: if that's where we go, and if not, new town, same bollocks Janis: well, LDR even easier Janis: can drop you an OTT caption whenever Jimmy: that'll be why I propositioned you again, my dear Janis: what does that mean? Jimmy: you said it, this is about making our lives easier Jimmy: wouldn't force you into an LDR if it were some 🎻🎻 hardship Janis: yeah Janis: alright Jimmy: what? Janis: I meant when you first asked, for now Jimmy: You wanna know why I asked? Janis: yeah Janis: me, specifically, I know why we're doing it Jimmy: 'cause I could do Jimmy: and we're both fit and mysterious, duh Janis: 👌 Jimmy: Go on, why did you say yeah? Janis: 'cos I'm fit and mysterious, why else Jimmy: 👌 Janis: forget I asked Jimmy: Why? I reckon it's what you'd call a valid question Janis: 'cos you didn't tell me anything I didn't know already Jimmy: everyone knows how fit you are Janis: not all wearing 😎 Jimmy: there you go then Janis: bed now Jimmy: save telling me what to do for when there's loads of dickheads about to see and hear how well I do it Janis: it's a polite way to tell you to shut up Jimmy: northern, not that thick Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: don't need it Janis: my head is massive as is Jimmy: What do you need? Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: couldn't hurt Janis: what the packets say, right Jimmy: Close enough, come here Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [we know the drill he's lighting up for you gal, god knows how long you've been out there boy dealing the drama that is Ian looking after his own kids for an evening] Janis: [we smoking in silence] Jimmy: [what a nice throwback to the PE moment that started all this] Janis: [Ella stay away] Jimmy: [everyone leave them be tbh] Janis: [when so much drama has gone down already like the levels of not expecting this] Jimmy: [we are so rude soz lads] Janis: [we all know who's fault it actually is, and also that you're about it so Jimmy: [even if neither of you expected to be this about it and are now shooketh] Janis: [hence what is lowkey an awkward silence but both of you usually are so you can play it ain't] Jimmy: [so casual so fine] Janis: [again, not as if you've chosen to spend time together when you don't need to] Jimmy: [makes me lol same as all these convos you're keeping going beyond needing to, but we should say he takes a pic of her under the pretence of like hm idk when I might need this/ we can use it to pretend you're with me if you're not at some point etc but it seems so rude like oh this is just a job every second I have to be doing something I deffo don't wanna spend any time with you just because] Jimmy: [but we know she really just looks beautiful and he's an art hoe] Janis: ['could've warned us, where was my two hours?'] Jimmy: [😏 and offers to take it again with a gesture but you know he's not deleting that OG pic ever] Janis: [🖕 like have that] Jimmy: [😘 like he did to sir when he left] Janis: [wiping her cheek like it hit her] Jimmy: [does a really fake look around for fans lurking] Janis: [raising brow like you know its just us] Jimmy: [shrug cos it's so casual so fine] Janis: [shrugs back but OTT like one up you] Jimmy: [lights a new 🚬 because 1. he's been out there ages so he would've been nearly done when she appeared 2. to prove that he don't feel awks at all and could stay here all night] Janis: [puts her hand out like gimme your lighter] Jimmy: [does but with a raised brow of his own] Janis: [just playing with it 'not suggesting arson, s'boring'] Jimmy: [💔 mime for the first time] Janis: ['poor baby'] Jimmy: [pouty little lip like baby me] Janis: [loling but reminded so 'I'll bite it off next time'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞] Janis: [🙄😏] Jimmy: [gets a snack of some kind out like better eat this while I still can then] Janis: ['did you not eat enough at dinner?'] Jimmy: [🙄😏 but chucks some at her] Janis: ['too busy staring, I remember'] Jimmy: ['bit busy getting chucked out 'cause you don't know owt about being cute'] Janis: [😒 'yeah, that's why'] Jimmy: ['gotta keep it goals if you can't, yeah'] Janis: ['fuck off'] Jimmy: [looks down at his 🚬 which he ain't done with like no shan't] Janis: ['do it by yourself then' 'cos done enough with yours to throw it like good day] Jimmy: [just looking at her like bye then] Janis: [👋 '6 o'clock'] Jimmy: [when you get right in her grill and it's really hot but then you just take your lighter back] Janis: [making an 'ugh' sound] Jimmy: [hasn't moved away so is still very much in her grill and just zipping her hoodie up which is actually his like it's such a long cold walk back when it's neither because you gotta prove that 'cute' comes that effortlessly to you obvs and she sucks but it's just hot because the tension] Janis: [pushing him back, not really hard or anything but enough to ramp up that tension] Jimmy: [when you say 'piss off then' but you're saying it like a challenge not to] Janis: [just looking at him like nah] Jimmy: [LOOKING at her] Janis: ['stop it' but again, a challenge] Jimmy: ['stop what?' because I dare you to acknowledge that something is happening here, gal] Janis: ['you know' 'cos likewise] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: [points at him] Jimmy: [signs it] Janis: [gonna assume she knows what he's doing but not what he's saying here 'hardly fair'] Jimmy: [scoffs because nothing about any of this is fair or what he signed up for 'playing to win, not fair' but shows her how to do it and what it means then adding whatever he needs to add to change it into 'you're a dickhead' signed which makes me lol imagining what that probably is] Janis: ['alright, Mia' but 😏 and going with this impromptu lesson here] Jimmy: [having a lovely time as if all of that didn't just happen] Janis: [tralalalalala] Jimmy: [it's literally an immediate headfuck, well done lads] Janis: [lmao how could it not be tbh] Jimmy: [if it was actually all fake but we know it never has been or could be cos he chose her for a reason] Janis: [you could've chose someone well below you and just played 'em] Jimmy: [thank god you didn't sir because that wouldn't have been as fun on any level for any of us] Janis: [you aren't that sort of boy is the tea] Jimmy: [my softest in my army of soft boys is the tea] Janis: [mhmm, and you wouldn't have said yes, even though it does benefit you too, if you didn't think he was hot and intriguing so] Jimmy: [anyway teach her the sign for goodnight and then do one please Jimothy or else I won't be able to stop you from doing something which only works if someone appears or you think they have which is unlikely] Janis: [literally got to see each other in a few so time to go lol] Jimmy: [let's skip to him showing up at 6] Jimmy: Oi Janis: [letting him in as a response 'cos obvs up and ready, likewise gonna make you be top bunk so you have to do the most to be quiet] Jimmy: [we know if he's slept at all it's barely so that'll look legit, casually stripping so you can leave your clothes on the floor for Grace and Co to see which means he has to climb up there in just his pants lol] Janis: [likewise, especially after-all that tension but always really, casually looking away so dramatically as if you don't have to get in that single bed with him now] Jimmy: [looking at her while she's looking away because she hasn't gotten any uglier since you saw her last and you're like well fuck this is gonna be interesting] Janis: [oh lads what have you got yourselves into, coming up and casually giving yourselves as much space as you physically can 'cos not as if they're gonna burst in the door any second now and this is just casual, taking off your top so you're in your bra and shorts moment] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna stare at her doing that so you're looking down and it hits you that you're topless too but there's not a single bruise anywhere there so you're like ! and your hand automatically goes to your neck but your foot nudges her] Janis: [turning 'round like excuse me 'cos think he's just being annoying but then you look and then look some more 'til you're like 'oh' everything whispered as per, so then you look down at your own body like, yeah] Jimmy: [to casually avoid following her gaze down her own body because ofc you don't wanna look don't be silly looking at her hands to see how long her nails are, like are back scratches too far or wtf because this is the life we're living kids] Janis: [pretending you think he means he wants you to choke him and going for the throat 'cos cannot be serious about this rn] Jimmy: [so 😒 because she caught you off guard with that and you nearly said something along the lines of oi or piss off at normal volume so you're mad at yourself for being an amateur] Janis: [gently pushing his shoulder like soz but also come on 'you can go first then'] Jimmy: [pushing her down onto the bed slightly less gently but obvs not hard lol and going for it  because if you start to think or say something you'll be like this is too much wtf is my life rn and then you're look like even more of an amateur] Janis: [when once it's happening, you can bite your lip all you like but you didn't expect the push down so you can't stop yourself from making the noise] Jimmy: [don't worry gal because that noise would have got to him as much as the push got to you and you'll be able to get your own back soon] Janis: [when you don't wanna tell him to stop but that's purely 'cos you need to prove you got this, not that it's enjoyable or anything, nah] Jimmy: [I'm loling because he's really just going to town on her as if anyone's looking that closely even Mia ready to be like I don't think you really hooked up because there isn't a love bite there, I'm so sure a few would get the point across boy but okay] Janis: [like, the state of undress you don't need to be in April cannot be overstated, the teachers are gonna be fuming at the state of you two lmao] Jimmy: [also you don't need to have your hands on her in any way whatsoever while this is happening but you clearly do] Janis: [we doing the most to stay quiet here, like low-key shouldn't you make a little noise so you can be caught but nah, eventually you gotta blurt out 'come on' but do you mean stop or hurry up or more, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when you take it to mean hurry up like she's so over this because there's a big part of you that thinks she's totally faking this, thanks for those issues parentals so you do hurry up/stop losing yourself how you were for a bit there and go back to treating it like a job] Janis: [we can feel the difference and we're, surely not sad, no, who cares, not you babe, in fact, 'my turn' and flipping him so you on top now] Jimmy: [wasn't expecting that after what she said and how he interpreted it so 'fuck' escapes and we know it's not in an angry way] Janis: [just gotta go in on it too 'cos can't be thinking about that or this will go even further right now] Jimmy: [time to bite your own lip really hard jimothy because not only is this gonna feel incredible but when she's moving you can see at least some of the ones you've given her so] Janis: [we're going so much lower than we need to, like they can fill in the gaps without you doing a hickie on his hip like] Jimmy: [RIP this boy cos he's got no clothes on and nowhere to hide] Janis: [soz for the blueballing] Jimmy: [great way to start your day you won't be 😒 at all] Janis: [when it could lowkey be an hour 'til they wake up like what are you gonna do] Jimmy: [not gonna be able to casually nap after that lads] Janis: [have to find a way to fill the time] Jimmy: [we know what you wanna do but no no, gutted that you can't even stress smoke in case you wake her up by going outside] Janis: [lmao drag this out for as long as you can without turning him totally purple] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to do more on her if she's gone harder on you so you don't have to awkwardly sit there] Janis: [we know you're just making out without making out, like, 'cos no excuse for that] Jimmy: [shameless] Janis: [truly, then we just laying here like, 'cos can't even wake Grace up really 'cos need the others to see too so] Jimmy: [we all know she's not the real target audience, so just awkwardly stare at the ceiling and calm down kids cos it's too risky to look at each other rn] Janis: [or say anything, not just 'cos volume] Jimmy: [mhmm but when you feel up to it Jimothy you can take a look at yourself in your phone camera because DO NOT look at her like it's just a job and you're checking out how well she's done] Janis: [when you force yourself to look in his direction finally, 'cos you don't want him to potentially infer anything from your silence,  so you watch him do this, and then position your body is a mid-fuck kinda position like, go on then and mime 📸] Jimmy: [at least he can throw himself into the technical aspects of this photoshoot moment like a nerd so he doesn't have to think about how good she looks or how lowkey hot it is that you've gotta just move her around] Janis: [we're all pretending this is purely business, taking our own 📸 of him above you with his] Jimmy: [casual excuse to actually kiss for the 📸 which you think will make this tension better but actually makes it worse] Janis: [so 😤 on the low like thanks a lot] Jimmy: [such good practice for when you have to keep making out and breaking apart in the future as the flat whites go to and fro and a flex that you're so unfazed by any of this that you can stop whenever you want because it's SO fake but such agony actually] Janis: [just staying on your phone like this is casual and you have other things to do] Jimmy: [when I'm gonna start a convo purely because he wants her attention lol] Jimmy: nowt we've forgot is there? Janis: don't think so Janis: go down and get your t-shirt for me to protect my modesty once they get here Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you think you're such a pro at cute, suggest away, like Jimmy: can't bring you a ☕ much as they'd think that were #ultimategoals Janis: missing your steamer? Janis: s'nice Jimmy: have to get steamy in the 🚿 when they show up instead then Jimmy: won't be as cute 💔 Janis: don't put yourself down just 'cos they replace serotonin with caffeine 💘 Jimmy: thinking of you having to put up with me in another confined space Janis: I'm not actually getting in the shower with you Jimmy: [really fake shocked face like what??!] Jimmy: tah for clearing that up, mate, could've been a bit awkward Janis: [pushing him like 🙄] Janis: shut up Jimmy: [mimes 🤐 as he pushes her back so that's lowkey sexy excuse you boy] Janis: [turning your back on him like boy bye but there's 0 way that's not a spooning situation so] Jimmy: [living for the excuse to touch her hair because it's in your grill] Janis: you reckon we should Jimmy: ? Janis: 🚿 Janis: or was you joking Jimmy: don't you want a bit of time behind a locked door? Janis: in an ideal world you wouldn't be there but yeah, 'course Jimmy: forget I am Janis: easier said than done Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge in it Janis: you leave marks Janis: poltergeist motherfucker Jimmy: [does a there there pat on her back] Jimmy: should've stopped me if I hurt you Janis: [kicking back] Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [retaliates like oi] Janis: [playfight 'I'll hurt you'] Jimmy: ['go on' because we're forever one challenge away from going too far] Janis: ['it doesn't count if you ask for it' but we LOOKING at him] Jimmy: [LOOKING back at her because always 'weren't like I said please'] Janis: ['where are your manners?'] Jimmy: [leans way further in than he needs to for whispering 'not that good of an actor' okay we get it Jimothy you think you're so 😎 and a bad boy but you not okay deal with it] Janis: [when you 'ha!' at practically normal volume such is your disbelief at this, sir] Jimmy: [putting a finger to her lips like shh because why just say it when you could be saucy as hell] Janis: [biting said finger as if this will actually hurt and not just add to this vibe alright] Jimmy: [pulling her hair by that same logic] Janis: [matching that 'fuck-' energy of his from earlier but adding '-you' in any vain attempt at saving face as you take his hand from your hair and pin it above your heads] Jimmy: [1000% is allowing this and is about to kiss her so we're gonna have to say that like Grace's alarm goes off or something to remind y'all what you're meant to be doing here] Janis: [when it's fine that the 'shit!' comes out 'cos it's showtime anyways] Jimmy: [pretend to be asleep kids that way you can take a sec and a deep breath] Janis: [lowkey hiding under these covers rn] Jimmy: [#mood cos Grace is gonna be so shook that Jimmy is here] Janis: [like soz girl] Jimmy: [run to the bathroom gal, it's fine he's not looking at you] Janis: [just don't run out screaming tah] Jimmy: [do we wanna say that the flatwhites all assemble here to get ready so they have to put on more of a show or say they show up in a bit so they don't?] Janis: [hmm, oh, maybe for the drama they show up later like let's ride 'cos obviously they don't KNOW this has gone down so then Mia will be really pissed off with Grace like um why did you not tell us so then they'll be being dicks to her again moreso?] Jimmy: [okay I love that, makes Grace get changed because she's mad, fuck you fashion police] Janis: [something even more unsuitable, lucky you don't break a leg she's already clumsy you know this] Jimmy: [also OMG you know we said they should see Mia cheat on Pablo it should be the boy that Grace was flirting with when they won that activity] Janis: [deffo, like that's what you get] Jimmy: [but for now she's in the bathroom getting ready with music on so like enjoy your awks alone time JJ] Janis: [at least you can get up, 'cos you know she'll be ages, and open the window to get some air] Jimmy: [lowkey just waking your siblings up for school like oi don't be late without me there or sort you out] Jimmy: [*to] Janis: [putting his top on for now, even if it's purely to whip it off when the flat whites arrive 'cos that effortless ladies, cry about it] Jimmy: [like you could put your trousers on boy but we know you won't] Janis: [like makes sense for your purpose but it's so distracting] Jimmy: [clearly you hope it is cos you're still dying over everything that happened and don't wanna be the only one] Janis: [we know you both are but keep doing the most to hide it like that's even possible god bless] Jimmy: [just casually making himself so comfy in this bed she got out of like everything's fine] Janis: [shaking her head] Jimmy: [a look like what?] Janis: [quieter but no need to whisper fully 'do this often?'] Jimmy: [says the 'what?' this time] Janis: [eyes in the direction of the bathroom like, let's not give the whole thing away, yeah 'you know'] Jimmy: ['what kind of question's that?' because imagine if that was the life he was living just fake girlfriends everywhere lol] Janis: [shrugs 'you look very at home'] Jimmy: [🙄 as he makes himself even more comfy, like there's no way he could actually get any sleep til the flatwhites come but that's what he's pretending] Janis: [tuts 'my bed, you know'] Jimmy: [eyes closed and a fake yawn 'not a very #goals attitude that, meant to be about what's yours being mine, as my missus'] Janis: ['yeah, well, I'm meant to hog the covers, not you the entire bed'] Jimmy: ['come here then'] Janis: [human equivalent of ?] Jimmy: [makes space for her and pulls back the covers like you heard me] Janis: [you know this isn't a good idea but look weird if you don't now, like sure let's totally snooze mhmm] Jimmy: [deliberately chucking all the covers over her like 😏] Janis: [cocoons self 'thanks, dick'] Jimmy: [pulls them back off and you think he's gonna start a playfight or be a dick in some way but he just takes the t-shirt off her and throws it back on the floor as if they are actually gonna fall asleep and miss the flatwhites arrival in any way, we see you boy, how intimate and suggestive of you] Janis: [just staring, shooketh 'I might've been cold'] Jimmy: [tucks her back in cos you're a soft boy and you have to make sure she isn't just in case she wasn't joking and snuggling into her because 1.warmth 2. you don't know how long Grace takes in the bathroom 3.lack of space doesn't really give you a choice but to spoon] Janis: ['so weird, new boy' but soft and letting it all happen, obvs] Jimmy: [shhing her but even softer because their weirdness is meant to be a secret if they are gonna be goals and also duh it's sleepy time™ except not at all] Janis: [pressing back into him and turning your head back purely to whisper 'and rude' like gurl] Jimmy: [making a sound because of that movement that we can try and pretend is an exasperated sigh but obviously isn't] Janis: [shhing him like 😏] Jimmy: [writes some kind of insult on her with his fingertip than she won't be able to make out because it's the first time basically] Janis: [excessive wriggling like don't tickle me] Jimmy: [DYING rn so he can't even say anything or do anything but try not to die] Janis: ['shell be forever, you know'] Jimmy: [me just like oh no how am I gonna cockblock this and it's literally been a day lol] Janis: ['your roommate won't be up, is what I'm saying, if we've got any chance of getting a shower today'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because the last thing you wanna do rn is move unless it's closer to her but she obviously can't see you looking at her so you have to say something boy 'you don't reckon that might wake him up?'] Janis: ['I don't reckon he fancies you so much he'll get out of his pit just to 'catch' you in the shower, no' pausing for a bit before shrugging 'it was your idea, like'] Jimmy: ['my idea for when we had an audience' but shrugs back] Janis: ['I'm going then, before we do, be right back' getting up] Jimmy: [obvs going with cos he doesn't wanna stay here on his own] Janis: ['can take it in turns, I weren't saying-' gestures like you know, even though you definitely were you've taken his response as a message to cool down, getting your toiletries and heading for the door] Jimmy: [following her as soon as you've got enough clothes on] Janis: [sneksnek] Jimmy: [take a cold shower it's very much needed] Janis: [let you go first boy] Jimmy: [please don't take forever or she's just there watching her cousin sleep] Janis: [bit weird lmao] Jimmy: [imagine how awks when he comes out and she goes in and they just do that switcharoo that'd be weird too] Janis: [hope you've put more clothes on, you definitely haven't] Jimmy: [soz not soz] Janis: you can go back if you want Janis: or go, if you're over it Jimmy: over what? Janis: waiting for them Janis: we've done shit they'll see still regardless Jimmy: are you saying you're over it? Janis: I'm saying you don't need to sit there whilst I shower if you don't wanna Jimmy: I don't need to do owt I don't want to, and I don't need you to tell me that Jimmy: if you're gonna be ages like your sister, say so Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: don't get your hair wet unless you wanna fake some weird kink, we're meant to be asleep Janis: now you wanna tell me what to do, cam down Jimmy: you started it Janis: God, I was just saying Jimmy: just leave it out instead Janis: whatever Jimmy: it ain't my fault they ain't about yet Janis: it's not mine, either Jimmy: and I ain't being a dickhead to you about it Janis: 1. I weren't, I was literally saying go if you're fed up, how is that anything but polite? 2. hate to see you being a dickhead then Jimmy: 1. Bollocks weren't you, you're saying go 'cause you're fed up which ain't polite when we've got a plan and if we weren't gonna stick to it I wouldn't have bothered to show up at 6 when we could've just pissed about during this punishment Jimmy: 2. yeah, you would Janis: That is not what I'm saying, I'm saying I'm having a shower, that's it Jimmy: if you'd cracked on instead of getting a mard on, you'd be done by now Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: I'm serious Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: stop pissing about Janis: I know how long she takes, you don't Jimmy: I don't care Janis: then I don't care how long I take in relation to you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [obviously taking longer than you would have but nowhere near Grace levels of long 'cos just not that bitch, casually walking past him back to your room like let's get this done] Jimmy: [follows her again] Janis: [has got hair wet, suck it, got to pretend we had that steamy shower sesh we didn't have there] Jimmy: [is 😒] Janis: [likewise, we'll let the flat whites show as you're drying off said hair like 'good morning ladies'] Jimmy: [at least you can pretend you're 😒 to see them] Janis: [making some joke about morning coffee as you go over to him and hold his face, really like, get it together but fake loving upon him 'cos just so cute] Jimmy: [taking the excuse she's given you to kiss her because you've wanted to for an age] Janis: [enjoy, they're stunned silent rn anyway so take your chance kids] Jimmy: [we know that's why you're really 😒 Jimothy so it'll be an amazing kiss that Mia will just love to witness] Janis: [being so vocal in her disgust 'cos massive snitch and wants them to get caught again] Jimmy: [and not at all casually knocking on the bathroom door cos raging at Grace but she assumes it's Janis so she's like excuse you] Janis: [telling her where the nearest loo is, 'if you're that desperate, like' and smugly reclining on Grace's bunk so the rest of you have to stand around awkwardly in this room that is not big enough for all these people remotely] Jimmy: [Grace doing such an affectionate eye roll at JJ cos you know they being coupley af like she ships it so hard cos 1. she do 2. she doesn't fancy jimmy she's just not a dick to people who serve her coffee and 3. fuck you Mia] Janis: [just cuddling on this bed like y'all not even here and we're just having a moment] Jimmy: [whispering flatwhite shade that you can pretend is sweet nothings cos they'd be so annoyed they can't hear what you're saying] Janis: [giggiling in such an un-you way but it is funny, obvs] Jimmy: [Grace I'm calling you out for not knowing this is fake after hearing that except I'm not because you're not that invested and are just getting ready like a normal person] Jimmy: [shoutout to Jimmy for drawing yet more attention to these lovebites by touching and kissing them in a really soft way like oh I'm so sorry I've got no chill, I hope it doesn't hurt lol lol lol] Janis: [maybe that's how she be with boys, you don't know, let you off gal] Janis: [when you acting like oh my god, gotta hide them but in that LOOK kinda way] Jimmy: [I think Mia should be trying to get Ella or whoever to dob them in for Jimmy being there and Grace is just like chill so they're lowkey having a row in the bathroom] Janis: ['wanna go for breakfast?']

[moonhatake]

THE PROMISED NEVERLAND FUCKING THEORY (SPOILERS FOR THOSE NOT PAST 118 AND PAST 80 ish)

This theory is about what might happen soon and possibly the end of the story

**inhales**

THIS IS MY CONTRIBUTION AND I'M PUTTING MY HAND DOWN AND SPOUTIN OUT SOME THEORIES OKAY LET'S START.

**claps hands** THEORY RevIEw

First off ever since they found Norman things have felt a little icky to me and as we all know, a story like this doesn't give you happiness and let's it stay happy. People have said that Norman came back too early but I think that's intentional. The gangs all back together now, but there's gotta be a catch.

Let me also add how Norman looks much older than them. Idk if this is just the way the author drew him, but I think it could show how Norman isn't on Emmas and Rays level anymore since Norman hasn't spent all that time boogieing with them. (Inspired by a best buds theory) So him looking older could be a symbolism thing

OR

He was experimented on at the place he was held captive at and now is older, which could be plausible once we gather more information.

Okay Back to the Trio

Okay everyone's back yes it's all great, but in chapter 120 Norman talks about his plan to eradicate all the monsters. Basically an all out war and everyone is on board, all except Emma. I mean look at this face.

Is this the face of someone who agrees with whatf Norman is saying? Okay we have that established and it is confirmed that Emma doesn't really want to kill the monsters in chapter 122 and is conflicted with that. Emma wants to find a peace for both worlds and that's a really interesting take since the monsters have been basically eating them, but Emma makes a good point in chapter 122.

Now I'm pausing here and going to

RAY TIME

Ray has gone through hell and back for Emma since Grace field to the forest to goldy pond and till now. He follows Emma and believes in her plan to create a peace, since time and time again, she has shown him there is another way. When Ray wanted to leave everyone back at Grace Field, Emma (With ghost Normans help I guess) showed Ray they could do it and save everyone. When Ray and them were in the forest it was Emma who was the light in darkness and believed that everyone can push on. And then at Goldy Pond. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. THAT. GODDAMN. ARC. THE AUTHOR AND THE ILLUSTRATOR ARE FUCKING MADLADS. Emma's goddamn plan on how to beat the monsters was so fucking cool, but in the end Emma gets hurt and they're all in the cave like "ooohh shit we gonna dieee too many peeps hurt" but then like Oliver is like, "leave us, we dead anyways" and everyone is like "Noooooo", but after all this Ray says

Nobody is being left behind. Emma's words are now his and since he's seen that Emma can do it, then maybe even he can do it.

Now back to chapters 119 and so on. Ray has been seen to be on edge and it looks like he doesn't even trust the place nor Norman

I mean he has the look of concern on his face and I think the authors are hinting something at us because they wouldn't add this in just because. In chapter 121 where everyone was having fun and stuff, we see everyone smiling and it's all nice but yet there are subtle images of Ray being left out.

I think now that Norman and Emma are fine and they're all fine, he feels like he's not needed anymore. His soul reason to keep on living and pushing was to protect his friends. They're in a way, his Ray of Light aahahhahaha **cries in a ball**

I think now, Ray feels left out and like I said not needed, but he's still willing to protect them because he loves them. Although there are some things Ray sees in Norman that is suspicious. Ray isn't stupid and sees more of a bigger picture. Obviously he knows that something is up with Norman, but is just playing along right now because Emma is happy. Basically I would like to say is chapter 121 is the

Calm Before The Storm

So I'm pretty sure we're going to get a spitfire of pain after these chapters.

Now to the Main Point

I think what's going to happen is that Emma's gonna go to Norman and tell him that war is not the answer and that they should go to the "Seven Walls" thing and Dragon eye, (idk it was kinda weird but...)

...because back around chapters 102 and 103 where they went to that creepy temple thing with all the ancient artifacts, Emma and them ALREADY found a way to get in using

But then they were attacked just then. :^( so sad we all know who yeets to heaven.

But when Emma tells Norman this it's one of two things, either Norman refuses to go and pushes his plan for war or Norman agrees to check it out JUST FOR EMMA and pretends to find nothing so he can push for his war. Because I'm sure Norman doesn't want to be goodie goodie with the monsters.

So here it is...

Emma might break from Normas party and might take a small group of people including Ray and find their own solution back at the temples. There might be some people opposed to trying to find a peaceful solution and that's when Emma's original party breaks up. Idk for sure who might stay with Norman (Gilda and that other dude? Probs? Cause with Norman it's safe?). As Emmas party breaks up and leaves, Norman plots for his war and the story soon becomes like a race to see whos solution will prevail

OR

Because we have seen Ray feel iffy about Norman, Ray might make his own group and leave FIRST. Why? Maybe because he feels like he isn't needed anymore OR the fact that Emma wants to stick with Norman a little too much and isn't listening to him. Ray might take an even smaller group and leave to go find info about the monsters or go back to the Feilds to save Phil for Emma, because he feels like he can do it without her. Idk if he would tell her that he is going. I feel like he would but that would mean Emma wants to come. For most of the story it's always been Emma and Ray and now it's his chance to actually be an individual. And it might be a prove to himself thing. In the meantime Emma argues with Norman and that's when she splits from Norman. In the meantime, Ray and Emma try to keep touch as they both do different things, because they can't all go to save Phil and then run back to the temples. That's a lot of time and also Norman is planning his war. So Emmas going to temples, Rays freeing Phil and Normans plotting a war

OR

Norman and their crew go to where Phil is and save him, but some arguments happens (maybe they were going to kill the mama of that house but Emma says like, "no don't kill her.") and BAM! As the house burns up with FLAMES, Emma decides to go to temples and takes some peeps with Ray, while Norman takes the rest of the kids and goes back to plot his war. Then it's a race.

**side note** if this does happen and Ray does want to leave in all of this and be his own third party and disappear to do his own thing, during the showdown in the end of the series, Ray will probs pop out and help Emma

OR?**kinda weird theory

Norman is trying to find the super human kids and make an army outta them and trying to experiment on kids to enhance them for an army. Ray finds out, almost killed. Tells Emma and Emma doesn't believe. Confronts Norman. Norman a hoe and lies to her. Ray makes his third party and leaves. Norman then comes clean like a little bitch. Emma leaves to temples (maybe after Ray leaves her a note on what he's doing)

Conclusion

Basically what I'm trying to say is I think the Trio is going to split and it's going to be where the kids have to choose sides and it's a race to find the right solution.

Just my opinion though, I could be missing a bunch of things but this is what I see. Oh and going back to way Norman is shown earlier than people think, this is why. To start the second phase of the plot. Let me know what y'all think, I'd really love to hear from ya. Thanks for reading till the end. I know it's long as hell.

[thickenmyblood]

i am, as usual, extremely late to this party. but!!!! what!!!!!

But how do you plausibly transfer this meant-to-be-despite-all-odds to a modern-day setting?

let me tell you IT'S FUCKING HARD!!!! like, anyone that's writing a modern au will tell you it's so very hard to translate canon era things to the modern day because there are SO many issues that could ruin characterization. so thank you for acknowledging that, in general, it's so fucking hard!!!!

(...) you can’t make Damen own people or have Laurent be casually sadistic and still have us root for them. Laurent’s trauma can be the same (unfortunately, because shitty adults still get away with abuse), but he can’t take it out on Damen in the same way. And Damen can’t be a catalyst for the trauma to the same degree either, because it’s hard in modern setting to imagine him having justifiably killed August and then Laurent being able to move on.

okay, i agree so hard with this because as I said it's so hard to write anything that feels (to the author, at least) in character when building a modern au story. however, I want to hijack your beautiful post to talk about MY FRIEND CCAINAO3!!!!!!!!!!! because I have never ever ever read a better translation of what happened in the books than I did when reading her fic Concordia!!!! if you haven't read it, you should, but as a quick summary damen and auguste are hockey players on different teams, damen is the reason auguste gets a very severe head injury and that lands laurent in his uncle's care. listen, when I tell you it's THE BEST TRANSLATION for canon trauma that I've ever read, I MEAN IT!!!! you can't have damen killing auguste, obviously, least of all in a "noble" way. but you can have this, which ruth understands so PERFECTLY that it makes sense and lets you explore the what ifs of a modern day au without having to come up with some stupid plot idea to make damen and auguste (or damen and laurent, rather) enemies:

“Auguste knows too. Uncle Richard told me I shouldn’t go to his apartment anymore. Kids are too loud, you know, when your head hurts.” Damen maneuvers them into the bathroom. “He was so mean… he’d snap at me. He never snapped at me. And he had headaches all the time. It was like he was a different person. It was like he died. It was like,” says Laurent, “you killed him.”

i could talk about concordia for hours but seriously, what great worldbuilding skills!!!!

now, to really get into your post (which i loved obviously):

i find it so amazing that you used words like quest because I was originally going to include this quote by anne carson at the very start of the fic: "Sometimes a journey makes itself necessary.” (autobiography of red) I think for me it was easy to spot damen's (toxic?) masculinity in the books and how "manly" he is presented and use it for my fic, and I was a bit surprised to see how angry that made some people!!! i love damen as a character and I wouldn't love him nearly as much if he wasn't such a hot mess

their banter was ESSENTIAL. like, they've been together for YEARS. and honestly I think they're such a playful couple (I think that's the only bit of the charls story that I loved, the whole lamen scheme)

"He is willing to protect and fight for Nicaise in ways he isn’t always able to fight for himself." I really wanna talk more about this!!! no one has pointed it out so far that I remember but when i was writing this fic i felt terribly sad for how lonely and self-hating this laurent is. he broke up with damen because damen was affecting nicaise, but he probably wouldn't have broken up with damen if nicaise had not been in the picture. which means... oh, it's fine if damen treats ME like this, i just don't want my kid to go through it. BUT I CAN!!! like? T_T he got some of the worst of damen's comments (about his medication, about his mental health, about his own trauma, about his BODY!!!!) and still THAT wasn't the reason to break up.

and 5. yes yes yes!!!! that's what i love so much about nicaise&laurent in any fic! i love their fucked up, insane, loving relationship because i really do believe they could bring the best and the worst out of each other. and, as you said in your other post, laurent's unloveable-ness is the whole reason this fic exists haha

6. yes to laurent "setting damen free". because they were not vulnerable with each other, laurent also had a very innocent and superficial idea of what damen's internal struggles were. he's like "I bet he's off fucking models right now" the second damen walked out the door. which... well.

7. this whole point is the reason i included that beautiful quote from canon about laurent HATING damen for always being there for him but that also being why they're in love!!!

8. lots of people commented that this narrator reads OOC bc damen is too blind in the books or too ignorant to have any sort of poetic thought process or even introspection, but I think that's exactly what the fic challenges!!! thoughts are always complex, even when they're expressed very simply. damen is smart and just because he isn't (100000%) emotionally intelligent, he's still got some points on laurent.

9. yes!!!!! that's why damen being ignorant about a lot of things was easy for me to write. he's not malicious, but he does seem like the kind of person to just go "I don't get it" about something and drop it bc it's annoyingly out of his comfort zone. in the books, he's always saying he doesn't like or get how veretians think, but there is something to be said about a culture (or at least a group of people) that behave so... complicatedly. i feel like this could potentially make damen even SMARTER (and in hiuh, it opens up a world of possibility which he could not see before. he didn't know much about his OWN sexuality or queerness, just like in the books he sometimes doesn't see what's right in front of him even when it does concern him, like kastor's betrayal)

10.I LOVE THIS ANALYSIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! everyone loves to hate kastor bc he is an evil character but he is SO interesting. to think he sat there and slowly fed their father poison, watched him die... did he ever regret it while he was doing it? did he want to take it back? did he enjoy it? UGH IT'S SO GOOD!!! and in a way, both in canon and in hiuh, kastor is the reason damen comes to understand so many things about the world and himself and his family that he never would have seen other way!!!

once again, thank you so much for such a careful and beautiful read of my work!!!!!!!!! I WANNA MARRY YOU (online, of course). what a great post full of amazing theories.

Let’s explore canon parallels…

Thanks for the love on the earlier post! Clearly, like me, you can’t get enough of analyzing HIUH. Allow me to test that theory…

HIUH is both an easy and a hard read. On the one hand, the writing style makes is go down smooth. On the other hand, the plight of the characters burns (in all the best ways). And sometimes you just want to shake some sense into them!

I am obsessed with HIUH to a borderline unhealthy degree. I love the style and subtly of the writing (but that’s a whole topic for a different post). I love how frustrating and heartbreaking and hilarious (I’m looking at you, Ancel) it can be. I’m obsessed with how much it makes me feel.

Typically, when a chapter is posted, I read it once, then go back and read the previous chapter and the new chapter again, then reread my favorite little sections again and again. Sometimes, I start at the beginning of the story and read all the way through. It’s never not worth my time.

So, anyway, perhaps this obsession explains how very defensive I feel when I read people commenting on how unlikeable Laurent (or Damen) is, or how they can’t imagine feeling good about them getting back together. I mean, it’s fair for them to feel however they feel as readers, but also…

Of course they have to get back together, because they are MEANT TO BE!

Which brings me to the question of canon parallels.

Because we, as a fandom, know that they are MEANT TO BE because of Pacat’s trilogy, and more specifically, because they had SO MUCH to overcome. Only a couple that is MEANT TO BE still comes to be despite the fact that one killed the other’s brother and the other took the one as a slave had him nearly whipped to death. I mean, that’s a lot to get past.

And herein lies the genius of HIUH. Because Pacat was able to set up this drama by setting her story in a pseudo-historical world of kingdoms and old-fashioned, army-clashing warfare. It was neither farfetched nor unreasonable that Damen killed Auguste. And it was believable (to everyone but Damen) that Damen’s brother tried to have him killed in a coup. And it was fair enough that Laurent swore vengeance, which, combined with the trauma he had experienced, ultimately allows us to forgive his cruelty. Also, Damen may not have whipped slaves, but he owned them, so he ultimately lacks moral purity (despite a common desire to grant it to him in fanfic, which I totally understand, because he has honor! It’s hot!). And they all live in a world before therapy, so they’re just gonna have to kind of suck up their trauma and go on ruling.

But how do you plausibly transfer this meant-to-be-despite-all-odds to a modern-day setting?

You can make them both modern royalty (which is always fun), but you can’t make Damen own people or have Laurent be casually sadistic and still have us root for them. Laurent’s trauma can be the same (unfortunately, because shitty adults still get away with abuse), but he can’t take it out on Damen in the same way. And Damen can’t be a catalyst for the trauma to the same degree either, because it’s hard in modern setting to imagine him having justifiably killed August and then Laurent being able to move on.

So how can two people hurt each other so much and still come together in modern times? By being exes, it turns out! Who knew?

@thickenmyblood knew!

And from that amazing canon adaptation of the overall conceit, @thickenmyblood goes on to create so many other canon parallels. I’ll number them (in order to assure you this post isn’t actually endless), but I’m sure it’s not an exhaustive list:

1. Damen’s quest begins when his privileged world, which he has never examined very closely, gets turned upside down. His unquestioned acceptance of slavery becomes an unquestioned acceptance of toxic masculinity, which also parallels with Damen’s unquestioned pursuit of war glory (the Original Toxic Masculinity™). His complete inability to recognize what every single reader can see – that Laurent was abused by his uncle – becomes an unwillingness to hear about Laurent’s traumatic experiences or accept their mental health consequences. His quest to regain his throne becomes a quest to regain his sense of self, which leads him to therapy, which leads to a realignment of his priorities that ultimately puts a connection to Laurent high on his list (as in the books).

2. Which makes sense, I think, of why Damen still cares so much for Laurent in HIUH despite his recognition of Laurent’s behavior. As in the books, he, like a few of the people closest to Laurent, sees beneath the judgmental exterior to Laurent’s resilience, deep care for people like Nicaise, and well-hidden playfulness. Lest we forget, the running over the rooftops was a key moment for Lamen – the banter and wordplay they can still find in HIUH post-breakup gestures to that playful connection/reconnection.

3. Meanwhile, Laurent remains a survivor in both worlds, and alternates between dedicating almost everything he has to simply persisting despite his uncle and trying to carve about a more purposeful and livable existence, which he at the same time does not fully believe he deserves. He is willing to protect and fight for Nicaise in ways he isn’t always able to fight for himself.

4. Nicaise, as in canon, sometimes desperately appreciates that, sometimes need to push, push, push until Laurent gives up on him the way he can’t stop fearing Laurent will.

5. Meanwhile, just as in canon, the only means Laurent has found to protect himself is by keeping his deepest self hidden and feigning indifference and superiority when he feels vulnerable or hurt. Did Laurent break up with Damen to protect Nicaise? Yes, absolutely. But, as I argued in the previous post, Laurent also breaks up with Damen because he believes deep down that, in the long term, Damen could not love the real Laurent because the real Laurent is fundamentally unlovable.

6. And he clearly told himself Damen would be better off without him, and without Nicaise, too. Like in canon, he’s willing to sacrifice his own chance at happiness to let Damen have his. He probably figured he was letting Damen go back to his charmed and trauma-free life. Which was less charmed and trauma-free than Damen thought it was, as it turns out (thank you, Neo). Which just takes us right back to Damen’s canon obliviousness and rose-tinted glasses.

7. Consider also that Laurent comes to give Damen his first and second chances because he is so desperate for Damen’s help that he has to push aside his anger, pride, and fear and let Damen in just a little (calling him for that first date, showing up at his house looking for Nicaise + asking him to take Nicaise after the paperweight). This mirrors his decision to take Damen with him to the border. But, just as in canon, whenever he lets Damen in just a little, Damen surprises him and worms his way back into Laurent’s closely-guarded heart.

8. Similarly for Damen in canon and here, Laurent is easy to hate when he’s being icy, superior, and hurtful, but impossible for Damen to hate when he pays close enough attention to see Laurent’s vulnerability. A lot of this comes through in HIUH in Damen’s careful notice of Laurent’s body language. When not clouded by his own insecurities, Damen can still read Laurent like a book.

9. Also worth noting is the way @thickenmyblood translates the differences in how Damen and Laurent think. As in canon, Damen is very literal and practical, thinking in straight lines. He is well suited to the law. Laurent’s thinking is more complicated, theoretical, and more attuned reasoning born of trauma. He is well suited to academia. But since there is no court intrigue in this modern setting, these differences are displayed not only in their communication differences, but through the contemporary complexities of sexual orientation and gender expression. Laurent (and his friend group) navigate these things effortlessly, while Damen (and his friend group) find it needlessly confusing and easy to mock. But like in canon Damen really should have understood court betrayals for his own sake, so too should this Damen understand how his thinking and friend group have prevented him from being fair to those he loves and fair to himself.

10. And if we want to get really metaphorical, we can say that Kastor "kills" their father in this by forcing Damen to realize he wasn't as good a father as Damen cast him in his memory. Although in this case, the metaphorical killing of the father opens the possibility for a more genuine relationship between the brothers, instead of destroying it...

And let’s stop it there, yeah? (Off to read the user manual for my new dishwasher.)

[papikakashikahn]

Ink Flowers - Chapter 1

Hey there! So after watching Shippuden and mainly creating this Tumblr to commemorate my love for the series... my Tumblr seemed to lean towards my other interests... nevertheless! I’ve recently gotten into the Saiino ship again, but sadly there aren’t too many fanfics out there for these too... good ones that is. So since I’m a writer (I use the term loosely), I decided to at least try at writing my rendition of the two together... here goes nothing! Hope you'll enjoy! (I intend on continuing this series) 

Chapter 2 here

“Pfft.” Ino exhaled, blowing a tuft of her hair out of her face, just for it to flow back were it had just resigned a few seconds prior.

On any other day when Ino Yamanaka was not on a mission, you could find her behind the register working in her family’s flower shop.

Ino rested her head on her elbow from her boredness. Business had been running slow today, as per usual… other than Kakashi Sensei’s usual purchase of a bouquet of yellow lilies, and some dark red carnations. (The yellow lilies, meaning thankfulness, the dark red carnations, meaning love). Who he got these flowers for every day you might ask? Ino never knew. She was just surprised he was able to set aside time to wander the village being Hokage and all.

Nevertheless, he was the only customer so far today, and Ino was starting to become bored being all by her lonesome.

She started to stare out the flower shop’s window. It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon, which made her even more irritated she had to be working.

She bit her lip and looked down at her nails tapping the surface of the counter. You would expect Choji or Shikamaru to visit her but lately, they had become quite caught up in responsibilities involving their clan. Ino didn’t particularly like to think she was bitter about the whole situation… but bitter certainly was a good word.

Ino truly liked working in her family’s shop, socializing with customers, working with the flowers, all that good stuff… but the shifts were becoming more and more tedious, and it was obvious as to why.

It seemed everyone around was doing something with their lives. Her teammates, her friends, the entire village it felt was succeeding past her, not even giving her a chance to catch up to them. Hell, even Shino was starting to shadow in the AMBU’S tracking division!!!

Ino and most of her peers were 18 now. The Fourth Shinobi war had only ended a year ago… she had only lost her father a year ago.

Although almost everyone had become a repercussion of the war, it seemed as though they were handling it better than her. Everyone was able to pick up with their lives and move on, continuing to do more exciting things.

Everyone except her that is.

Naruto was fulfilling his dream of becoming the next Hokage, Hinata was finally in a relationship with the idiot blonde himself… even Sakura finally dating her childhood Uchiha crush, who was returning to the village because of her.

Ino rolled her eyes just thinking about it. “What a bunch of bs.” she muttered to no one in particular, except the flowers maybe.

Sakura was Ino’s best friend … at least … she used to be. The two had become a lot closer ever been since Sasuke had left the village, but Ino couldn’t help but question if it would change now that the rogue shinobi was returning. The reason why the two kunoichis stopped being friends in the first place was because of that stupid Sharingan user.

Back when they were in academy when Sakura was picked on for that HUGE forehead of hers, the two kunoichis had become friends. Ino had often told off Sakura’s bullies and from then on, the two of them were inseparable. Ino helped Sakura have more confidence in herself, and to embrace that huge forehead of hers. Ino even gave Sakura one of her headbands to push back those bangs of hers she was using to hide it .

And just like that, it all changed.

Just like many other kunoichis, Ino and Sakura started to develop feelings for the Sasuke Uchiha. Could you blame them? He was a handsome, and a skilled genin. Not to mention he had this cool, mysterious vibe to him that had all the girls drooling. It was alluring. To be fair though, Ino did like Sasuke first, but never really pursued her interest in him until after Sakura admitted she had liked him as well, and because of it, Sakura explained they couldn't be friends any longer. Apparently, they couldn't both like Sasuke. Certainly, that was unheard of. After Sakura cut ties with Ino, even giving back the headband Ino gave her, winning Sasuke Uchiha’s heart became an obsession for Ino.

Deep down, Ino didn’t like to compete with Sakura or anyone for that matter - especially over a boy. The true reason Ino “competed” with Sakura to win Sasuke’s heart - even going to the lengths of growing her hair so that Sasuke would be more attracted to her - was to make Sakura feel the pain she had inflicted on Ino when Sakura told her they could no longer be friends. She made Ino feel unneeded, left behind, and especially - betrayed.  

Ino didn’t notice the tears welling up in her eyes as she continued to tap her nails on the counter mindlessly.

No matter how much Ino tried to convince herself that she didn’t care, or that she didn’t need Sakura, it hurt her that the truth was that Sakura was the one who didn’t need her anymore.

It stung when their friendship ended.

Ino, was the one that gave her all the confidence she had today, she was the one to nurture and care for the stupid pink flower that Sakura bloomed to be today!

And to think billboard brow didn’t even thank me for it! 

Ino slammed her fist on the counter in frustration, letting the hair fall in front of her face.

A tear had slipped onto the counter, but Ino hadn’t paid it much mind.

As of now, Ino and the Pink Haired kunoichi were close, but she couldn’t tell how the severity of their relationship would change with Sasuke coming back and all.

In the past, Sasuke was solely the trophy in the competition betwixt the two. While Ino lost interest in Sasuke as a person a long time ago, her interest in winning him as a prize against Sakura had increased. Winning Sasuke over was winning against Sakura… at what this game they were playing all these years Ino never really knew.

“You're strong-willed, Dependable and responsible...

Choji and Shikamaru...They're total goof-offs. Keep them in line...

And don't let Sakura beat you...in ninjutsu or romance”.

“I’m sorry Asuma Sensei...” Ino whispered to herself as another tear slipped, remembering his last words he said to her.

“I tried.” Ino she whispered as she wiped her tears.

Just then, she heard the chime above the door, meaning someone had entered the shop.

After quickly wiping the tears from her face, Ino shot her head up and smiled, exclaiming almost as if it was rehearsed :

“Hello! Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower shop! How may I help you!?” Ino greeted the customer.

When she opened her eyes she realized it was only Sai.

She untensed a little. Sai wasn’t that new to their tightly knit group of theirs, but still, she hadn’t really talked to him much.

She blushed slightly remembering their first conversation when he had called her beautiful.

It’s only been a couple years later, and yet she can’t seem to remember ever exchanging another word with him following the incident… it was quite sad actually.

The same pale ex-root boy stood in front of her, with the same simple smile he gave her when they had first met, as he gave everyone.

“Hello beautiful, I am here to buy flowers.” He said greeting her.

She could feel her cheeks tinge with color at the nickname as she did a slight little shimmy.

It seems the nickname has stuck with her… even though for some reason it didn't feel all too genuine. Well, as long as it pissed off Sakura considering he referred to her as ugly, she was fine with the nickname. After all, it was the little victories that counted… right?

She laughed lightly to herself.

“Well obviously Sai, this is a flower shop. Any kind in particular?” she smiled leaning over the counter a little more. He turned to observe the bouquets of vibrantly colored flowers before him, scanning each one carefully. It didn’t seem to help much though.

“I-I don’t know really…” he began.

“Well what’s the occasion?” she smirked, interested. He turned to give her another one of his smiles.

“I wish to draw a subject of beauty for my new composition.” he explained. Ino furrowed her eyebrow at him, slightly disappointed there wasn’t any tea to spill today.

“Listen, I’m not complaining or anything… but you do know you could just go outside and pick a bunch of dandelions for free… right?” she asked him.

Sai solely shook his head. “I am after something more vigorous to portray, I do not mind paying.” he assured her. She simply nodded her head in response as the pale boy turned his head back to the bouquets. After a moment or two, he picked one up, and turned to Ino. “These will do.” he told her.

Ino looked from the flower to Sai, and from Sai to the flowers, with a distasteful look on her face.

“Is something… wrong… do you… not approve?” Sai questioned confused as he looked down at the flowers in his hands. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly wrong to him. They were flowers, weren't they?

“Blue Bells are a pretty flowers Sai, but they represent humility. People usually buy them when they are trying to apologize to someone.” Ino told him.

It seemed as though Ino’s explanation of her distaste still didn’t help Sai understand.

“F-flowers have meanings?” he stuttered looking down at the bluebells in his hands.  

“Why of course!!!” Ino exclaimed, walking around the counter towards him excitedly.

“Candypuff's for example-” Ino paused, pointing to a bouquet of white dainty flowers a few feet across from them “-means indifference.” she told him. He stared down at the flowers in his hands still.

“...And what is humility like?” he questioned, looking up to her curiously. She was about to ask him what the fuck he was talking about - until she remembered that he was still new to emotions, being from the root and all. From what she understood, he had a lot of difficulty understanding the concept of human socializing, empathy, and emotions in general. It seemed odd for such a confident, talkative girl such as herself. But really, could you blame him? The foundation trains genin and or younger with the potential to become apart of the ANBU black ops to suppress their emotions to the point where they don’t exist, not to mention every connection you have to the world is cut off. You have no name, you have no family, you don’t even have a gravestone when you die. Your sole purpose it to protect the leaf, and connections get in the way of that. Therefor, it's no wonder the guy has trouble understanding his feeling , for about all of his life, he’s been taught that he shouldn't have any.

She sighed patiently. Ino loved talking to people about things she was passionate about, especially when it came to flowers, so therefor she didn’t mind explaining it to him at all.

Ino paused for a few seconds, trying to come up with the best explanation for him.

“Humility… humility is when you feel vulnerable because of something you might have done that you regret, you especially feel humility at another person’s reaction to it. For example, if Naruto spilled a bowl of ramen on his pants, you would laugh because it looks like he pissed himself, and Naruto would then feel humility.” Ino explained, adding a smile at the end. He nodded his head. “I think I understand.” He stated simply. He then turned to the other bouquets of flowers.

“And what do those mean?” Sai asked pointing to a dark red bouquet of roses. “Those mean sadness.” She responded to him. “Oh… like you were when I came in.” Sai blurted. Ino practically choked on air, her eyes widening at his comment. She blinked once or twice, comprehending that he had seen her upset. He turned his head to the side.

“May I ask what you were upset about?” Sai asked innocently.

Ino stirred uncomfortable, knowing even if she told him, he wouldn't understand. He’d ask her why she felt that way, although she didn’t really understand it either to begin with.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sai, i’m perfectly fine.” she defended herself. He gave her a shrug. “Whatever you say, Beauty.” he responded every word laced with doubt, even if it was unintentional.

Sai turned back to the flowers. “... What do these mean?” Sai asked pointing to yellow roses. Ino cleared her throat, glad he jumped to another subject.

“Comradeship.” Ino stated. He turned to her with a smile on his face.

“I am familiar with this term.” he stated content. Ino smiled back at him as well.

Sai’s eyes shifted to something over Ino’s shoulder. “And those… what do those mean?” he asked, pointing to something behind her.

She turned around, her eyes drawn to the bright red bouquet of roses on the counter. She had been assorting them for some guy who had ordered them for his girlfriend.

“Love.” she stated in a flat tone at the thought of her love life being so nonexistent. She wished someone had order flowers for her. ...It seemed the bitterness was kicking in again

“...What does that mean?” he asked once more.

Ino bit her lip. That one was simply hard to explain, most likely because she hadn’t known what it felt like yet either.

“Well… it’s a little hard to explain Sai.” She turned around to find his curiosity filled face. She tried to form an explanation of it, in a way that even he would understand. “You see, it’s when you like someone... a lot. When you care for them.” she told him with a nod.

“... So you can say, I love my friends?” Sai puzzled.

“Mhmmm, well yes - but the love I’m talking about is more for a significant other… like a girlfriend or boyfriend.” Ino continued. Nevertheless, Sai blinked absentmindedly.

“Someone you like like...like Hinata and Naruto for example!” Ino exclaimed.

“Oh, I see. So if someone is dating another, he or she is in love.” Sai nodded. Ino pushed her fingers together and did her little shimmy.

“Well not necessarily… just because you’re dating someone doesn't mean you love them. It’s-it’s a very hard feeling to explain. You’ll know it when you feel it Sai.” she stated. Sai tilted his head to the left.

“Have you ever been in love before beautiful?” he asked her.

Ino tensed as she looked up at him, but the way he stared at her so intensely made her shift her eyes to the floor again.

“No, I don’t think I have yet Sai.”

A silence formed between the two.

“These will suffice.” Sai stated, breaking the silence. Ino looked up at him, to find him holding the yellow roses. A smile was formed on Sai's face, as well as Ino.  “Of course.” Ino responded taking the flowers from Sai, and walking back to the counter.

Comradeship huh?

“It was interesting to learn that flowers having meanings. In a way, I guess you can say they are like art. There is more meaning than meets the eye?” Sai concluded, then looking to Ino for her response as she was ringing the bouquet up. After a moment or two, Ino’s eyes shifted towards Sai who had the same smile on his face that he had walking. She liked that he was conversing with her about it.

“Hhmm. I guess you’re right Sai.” She nodded. She handed him the bouquet of delicate roses.

“Here, don’t bother paying for them, they’re on the house. After all, it is for research anyways. A respectable cause if you ask me.” She smiled at him. He smiled back gratefully.

“Thank you for your kindness, beautiful.” He said as he held the flowers, turning around. “Mhmm.” She muttered, looking down at her now-empty hands. She began tapping her nails again on the countertop.

“Beauty, Sakura once told me about - well, I forget what she called it.”

Ino looked up at Sai who held the flower shop door open slightly. She felt the warm September breeze of Konoha flow in through the door, and wash over her, giving her the chills for a moment or two as Sai seemed to be thinking.

“Ah yes… lying as she called it.” He said looking over to Ino. She knitted her eyebrows together slightly confused about what he was talking about.

“You lied when I asked you if you were upset, although...I don’t know why exactly.”

Ino almost choked on air again she was caught off guard.

“Forehead told me that sometimes, people lie to protect their friends’ feelings… then again… I still don’t understand how lying about your feelings would protect anyone else’s. It is not good for you. You should talk to the person that is causing you to be upset.” He explained to her, concluding with his smile that never really reached his eyes. Ino’s voice got caught in her throat at his words.

Sai then proceeded to look to the ground again. “Women are a most confusing gender.” he muttered to himself.

And just like that, Sai had left Ino all to herself, and to her thoughts.

She tapped her fingers against the counter, in a calm tempo, as she drifted in thought over Sai’s words to her.

She looked to the flowers on her right, that sat on the counter beside her, looking at the rose petals that had seemed to fall off.

[myguccifiedwig]

•° In a tribe, 1270. °•

She's walking around the tribe, fulfilling her duty as a leader and making sure everything is going where it must be, pushing down every ounce of pain from the past month and letting life do its thing. Something like that.

"Mrs. Diana!"

She heard from her back. Oh god, what now?

"Hey! Um, how have you been?" The combatants' leader, Timothy, said with his best friend, Ben, at his heels.

"Um, could be worse," She replied truthfully, "how's the training going? Hopefully our little heroes are gaining their strength!"

"Oh, yeah, they're doing wonderfully! Big men, they are," He said, almost... Guardedly?

Her suspicions were answered when Tim started scratching the back of his neck and gave a quick glance at Ben, who hasn't spoken a word, Diana noticed.

"Um, are you free at the moment?" Tim asked slowly.

She looked at him quizzically before answering, "I'm just walking around, so, yes,"

"We have somewhere we want to take you," this time it was Ben who spoke up, "have to,"

"Oh..." She studied their faces for a second. Tim and Ben were um... Louis' best friends. Her now dead husband. Ex husband. Who no one knows where his corpse is, some believing that he was burnt to ashes while on a mission, which... Isn't something she necessarily likes to think about. They only found his ring, which she has now worn every single day of those two months of him being gone.

She trusts Tim and Ben. How could she not? They're what she likes to think as what she has left from Louis. So she follows her heart.

"Um, alright," she nods to herself and snaps up at them, "yeah, where do you want to take me?"

Timothy looks around with a serious look on his face before turning back to her, "We kind of can not tell you, you'll have to find out for yourself,"

"Should I be worried...?" She started getting very suspicious.

"We really have no time, this is really important, just get yourself and your horse ready, we're leaving in ten minutes," Tim excludes impatiently and throws his giant axe, that she has no idea how he lifts, over his shoulder and the two start walking towards horse stable.

She's left staring after them before she sighs,

"Okay..."

••••••••••••••••••••

"Guys, we have been on the road for three hours, where the fuck are you taking me?!"

She's getting impatient, if you can't tell.

"Nearly there, Di, just be patient," Ben answers with another frustrated sigh.

"Since when have I been So?!" She furrows her eyebrows at him.

"Louis never told me how annoying you are..." Ben whispers.

"Hey!" She quickly got riled up, "he-"

"we're here!" Timothy announces loudly, cutting them off.

"Um..." Diana looks around confusedly, "where?"

They ignore her question and get off their horses, to which she huffs exasperatedly before following their steps.

They tie their horses to a tree before Timothy turns to her.

"This is it, just go inside that cave over there." He points to where it is exactly.

"What, why?! Where are you guys going?!" She stares at them incredulously.

"Can you just go already?" Ben asks fake-sweetly.

She glowers at him before turning to Timothy, who was watching them tiredly before talking.

"we'll be right out here, we're not going anywhere."

"How do I know I'm not going to be killed?"

"Because you trust us,"

"No, I don't"

"What's going on here?"

A new voice joins in.

Ben grins, Diana freezes.

"Hey, man, she's right here. Tough to handle, that one is, don't know how you do it," Ben comments.

She doesn't have time to think of a comeback because the laugh she hears is so familiar.

So, so familiar.

She abruptly turns around and stares.

"Who is that?" She asks slowly. "Stop fucking with me, why am I here?"

"What do you mean, you don't know who that is?" It was Ben's turn to be confused.

She is fuming.

"You guys brought me all the way here, just to make me see a man who looks like my dead fucking husband? For what? Do you even know how cruel it is to-"

"Dee," The man frowns, "It's me, Louis,"

She looks around at everyone and tears pool in her eyes.

"Get away from me, who is this, it's not fair to play with someone's feelings like that,"

The guy finally comes close enough for her to see his features. Man, he looks just like Lou, she thinks.

She shakes her head and takes a step back when he got too close for her liking.

"Who are you?" She steadily keeps the eye contact.

A hand on her shoulder abruptly shakes her out of her trance, and she turns around to see Tim's pitying eyes,

"Trust him, trust us,"

She looks back ahead distrustfully and doesn't move when the man takes another step closer.

Not when he gets close enough to raise his hand and caress her cheek carefully.

To the point where she got cross eyed trying to keep eye contact.

"Figured it out yet?" He whispers.

She feels woozy.

Her once confused teary expression turns into an angry one in a split second and she abruptly moves away.

"You... How could you?!" She's mad.

"You made me think you were dead... You made us think you were dead! You know how much crying I've done these past two months?! They've all been for absolutely nothing! My heart feels like it's torn in half you bloody dick!" She gives his chest a strong push to express her anger even further.

"You have to listen to me, Dee, just give me a chance to-"

"You think you have the right?! I've been trying to manage double the work all on my own while you're hanging out in your bloody cave?!"

He sighs frustratedly.

"No, I've not just been hanging out in here, there's a lot to explain, just... Can I just hug you? I missed you an awful lot,"

Her face falls and she stands there limply before hugging him tightly, "of course I missed you, I just really hate you right now,"

He laughs and kisses the crown of her head before she adds, "But like, you told them but didn't tell me?! I have no idea how you even like that Ben guy, he's insufferable!"

"Hey, I'm right here!" Ben crosses his arms and huffs, but Tim was too busy grinning at the scene while patting Ben's back a little too hard.

"Let's go inside, there's a lot to explain to this feisty one," Louis smiles and beckons all of them inside.

"Nah, I'm saying here, I'm not gonna be close to her any longer," Ben refuses.

"We'll just go back, you guys make up for the missed time," Tim winks at Louis unsubtly, to which he laughs at.

"Alright, lads, see you tonight," He waves them good-bye while Diana stands there confused.

"Tonight?"

"Get inside, I have to clarify a lot of things."

•••••••••••••••••••••

"So they basically left my ring to make you guys believe I'm dead, which would obviously cause havoc,"

"I know we're in war, but... What do they get from that?"

"Me,"

She snorted, "Yeah, 'cause you're the best one out there, huh?"

He made an affronted noise and hit her shoulder jokingly, "You make me sound so selfish,"

She laughed at him and gestured for him to continue from her place next to him on the ground.

"They um..." He raised his right hand, "did this,"

She reached out to hold his bandaged hand but immediately retracted it when he winced.

"What did they do?" She frowned.

"Um..." He hesitated for a moment, "it doesn't matter,"

"Lou," she looked at him pointedly.

"They hit a nail into the middle of my palm," he squeezed his eyes and said it in one quick breath.

It was silent for a while.

"What...?" Tears pooled in her eyes as she picked up his hand, a lot more gingerly this time, "Lou, that's... I can't imagine that, I don't want to,"

He sighed, "You really wouldn't,"

"When was it?" She asked after giving it a little peck.

"About... Three weeks ago? I still need to reach out to Chris to make me something that can help me hold a sword without it hurting, that's Ben's mission for today, trying to get him to get him all this stuff without him knowing I'm still alive,"

"Why are you still hiding, love? I don't see the point,"

"I'm running away from them, still, I kind of escaped from the place with the help of another victim, they might have attacked the entire tribe if they knew I was there," he explained.

"Right..." She sighed.

He leaned his head back against the wall and smiled warmly at her.

"You okay?"

"I missed you..." She looks up at him, "Your mum is heartbroken, you sisters, everyone is, they think our tribe is going nowhere with just me in charge,"

"I know it could've went just fine if I were to pass away,"

"Shut up," she looked up from his hand on her lap to look him in the eye, "don't mention you dying anymore, I hate it,"

"Okay," he smiles before turning a little more sad, "and uhm, about my family, I miss them a whole lot and I feel so bad for doing this, but I can't have you telling anyone just yet. We need to keep this a secret until the coast is clear, we're going to attack their base tonight, Ben, Tim and I,"

"With this hand?!" She looked at him like he had two heads, "Lou, you can't just hold a sword with it,"

"I really wanna go home as soon as possible," he looked at her guiltily, "it's why Ben's getting me something to keep my hand in tact,"

"And if it doesn't work?"

"I... Guess I'll have to wait until it's safe to hold a sword,"

She thought silently for a moment and made a decision.

"I'll go instead of you,"

"What?! No! No way! This is my problem, I'm gonna fix it!"

"Ours, love, ours. I do know how to use a sword, you know that right?! It's what made you fall for me," she smiles.

"I fell for you because of so many things," he says, "either way, no,"

"It's safer, Lou, they don't know who I am, we could finish them off and none of them would know we're with you,"

"I made up my mind, it's a no," he looked to his side with a serious look on his face.

She sighed.

••••••••••••••••••••

"Alright, stay safe,"

"You're one to say,"

He sighs.

"I promise, we just need to finish off the big guy," he makes quotes with his hands, "then I'll be right back home,"

Her expression softens, "promise?"

"pinky promise," he loops his pinky around hers, a small gesture at which makes both of them smile wide.

"Horses are ready!"

"That's my cue, I guess," she gives him a disappointed smile.

He gives her forehead a small peck just because.

"Love you, don't do anything stupid," he gives her an accusatory finger but quickly retracts it because of course she's going to try to bite it.

"Love you more," she gives him a lopsided smile behind her back and heads off home with Ben and Tim, much to her dismay.

An hour into the trip, she turns to Ben.

"Hey, Ben?"

He keeps looking ahead, "Hm?"

"I want to ask something,"

"As long as it's not about tonight, sure,"

"Well..." She trails off, "what if it is?"

"Then I wouldn't really answer your question, anyway,"

"Ben," she whines, "I could help,"

"Louis gave us strict orders not to talk to you about it," he recites sternly.

"Look, I won't come on my own, I'm not that stupid," she explains, "I'll gather a good amount of combatants and we'll come as reinforcement,"

He seems to consider it for a moment, "I don't know..."

"Just tell me the base number, I promise, I won't do anything dumb," she insisted.

"Main base," he says after a moment and purses his lips when Tim gives him an unsure look, "Main base, just... Please don't get us in trouble for this,"

"You really think the three of you could attack a whole base? The main base? With Louis's fucked up hand?"

"We talked to him about it, stubborn as a mule, he is," Ben mutters.

She laughs knowingly, "The one trait we share,"

"Don't know how the two of you get along so well,"

"I still have no idea,"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"You ready lads?" Louis announces.

"We sure are," Tim answers, "How're you and your hand doing?"

"Not the best," he purses his lips and tries to stretch his fingers out, "But we can do this, we have to,"

"Lou, you said you'd wait if it weren't healed enough," Tim tries, "you know this won't be easy,"

"It's not impossible to use it, so we're going for it," Louis becomes impatient, "I miss my tribe, gotta get back to my people,"

Tim sighs and heads towards his horse, "yeah, alright,"

He really hopes Diana stays to her word.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Alright, most of them are asleep, we can take them guards down," Louis whispers to his friends from where they're crouching down behind some bushes.

"What happens after that?" Ben whispers back.

"We just have to get to Noah's tent and do what we have to do,"

"Wow, great plan, Lou," Ben deadpans, "we won't kill him in his sleep, right?"

"If we have to, yeah, but I'd prefer not to either,"

"Alright," Tim looks at both of them, "Ben and I will take those two down, they're blocking the main entrance. We take them down and get in disguise with their clothes, it'll make it easier for us to blend in,"

"That's what I call a plan!" Ben grins.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Louis waves them off, "Just do everything without me,"

"You can't fight with this hand Lou," Tim explains quietly, "you will if we need you to, yeah?"

"Yeah, now go, we have no time,"

Ben and Tim share a nod and approach the guards from each side, elbowing the backs of their necks and succeeding in making them pass out.

They go through the process of changing into their clothes and hiding their bodies before turning back to Louis.

"We don't know what to expect behind that gate," Tim points out.

"We'll just have to find out, then," Louis stands up.

"Wait!" Ben grabs him behind, "You can't just get in like that, you don't even have the clothes on, they're gonna recognise straight away,"

"Right..." He realises, "Well you go in before me, I suppose, and call for me when the coast is clear,"

They nod before finally standing up and going inside.

It's been five minutes. Louis counted. He's worried.

That's why he stands up and peeks behind the gate doors.

"So what might two Turkish idiots want from a place like this, huh?"

Ben and Tim are cornered. Fuck.

"Answer me!"

"I'm not saying a word,"

"Now's not the time to act all heroic, Tim, please, you literally could've made up a good lie right here,"

Louis sighs. Idiots.

And so he does what a fellow idiot would do and joins them inside. They pretty much have nothing to lose, literally every guard is there.

He steps inside and immediately grabs all the attention, but what grabs all of his is the person standing on the side that he didn't see.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here,"

He narrows his eyes, "Noah,"

A guard grabbed him straight away and there he stood next to his friends with a sword to his neck. This isn't going well.

"I sometimes really question you Turks' stupidity, and honestly, this answers my question," Noah grins and steps forward until he's right in front of Louis, to the point where Louis had to cross his eyes to look at him.

"How dare you dishonour my people like that," Louis glares at him the best he could, considering the proximity of their faces.

Instead of an answer, Louis receives a kick to his stomach.

"How's you hand?" Noah smirks.

"Shut up," Louis just focuses on not crying out loud from the pain.

Noah takes a step back to pick Louis's limp hand covered in iron and laughs loud, "Wow, so efficient,"

He drops it to the floor next to where Louis is sat, which causes it to start throbbing bad.

It doesn't help that he steps on it after that. Louis screams from the agonising pain.

"Tie them to the gallows!" Noah walks back and forth, "It's been a while since we've had a party,"

Louis thinks hears everyone cheer, but he's too busy focusing on the crippling pain while being dragged to the bloody gallows.

••••••••••••••••••

"Fast guys, we have no time to waste! Tie you horses to the trees and move fast!"

Diana manages to gather thirty combatants I'm total without getting caught, although her mother in law was a bit suspicious.

"Where have you been dear? I haven't seen much of you today,"

"I have some work to do outside the tribe, I'll be back before you know it!"

She didn't actually lie, did she?

She's worried sick. They're forty minutes late for the time Tim and Ben gave her, and the possibilities are endless.

"Go, go, go!" She whisper-yells and beckons them on by one to surround the different gates and be ready to get inside as one.

She looks around to check, but she doesn't see anyone outside. That's not necessarily a good thing.

She sighs and turns to everyone around her.

"On the count of three, and soon as I put my hand into a fist, everyone with swords is going to jump out behind me and get in there. The ones with bows are gonna stay behind the bushes to cover us, have we got a deal?"

Everyone nods. That's enough, she guesses.

"Three... Two... One... Go!"

And the mission starts.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

All three of them are tied to gallows. How did they reach this point.

"The one and only, Louis William Tomlinson, the hero of the Turkish empire! Tied to gallows," Noah walks back and forth and Louis's eyes follow his moves coldly, "All because of me!"

Louis turns to his boys to find them watching the entrance nervously. Weird.

"Psst,"

"Hm?" Tim hums back.

"You waiting for someone? You didn't tell anyone did you?"

Tim snorts, "I wish I did,"

"Then-

Louis was cut off by Noah's words.

"Why let's start," He gets close to Louis's face again, always gets on his nerves, "shall we?"

Everyone cheers and Louis swallows nervously. Guess it was the right thing to make them think he was dead, then.

Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!

He pulled.

He was losing consciousness. This was it, then.

Except, was it?

He saw... A flying sword?

He's definitely dying.

Cut.

In one swift move he falls to the ground with a thud.

"Go!"

What is going on?

He looks up to see Tim cutting the rope around his neck hastily with a knife and in seconds he felt the relief of it being off his neck.

He looked up and blinked a few times to try and figure out what's going on, and god damn it, that little shit.

He grins.

"Lou? You alright?"

"Yeah, Tim, I'm good, let me just," he tries to stand up, but putting the weight of his body on his hand failed him miserably as he fell right back to the ground, "yeah,"

"I'm gonna carry you out of here, just wait for us to be done with this, we'll be done in no time,"

"No!" Louis refuses, "no, I wanna help, just... Just help me up, please?"

"I don't think-"

"Fucking lift me up, Timothy, I chose to be here and I'm gonna fight,"

Tim sighs after a moment and helps him up.

"Please don't make me regret this,"

"You won't," Louis assures while looking at the scene in front of him with dark eyes. He missed this.

He opens and closes his hand around his sword handle, he can do this.

One last breath, and he's pulling it out of its scabbard.

And he fights. He kills two people but his hand feels tired so he stands to rest it, but-

"Watch out!"

He looks ahead and that same flying sword comes hitting a guy's skull.

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: [Sends article] He's out Bea: 4 years early Bea: Fucking 'good behaviour' Caleb left the chat 3 hours ago Fraze (Caleb) joined the chat 3 hours ago Fraze: I'll kill him. Finding him won't be hard Fraze: The cunt couldn't do one decent thing and rot behind bars Fraze: Fucking hell. Where are you? Is anyone else with you Bea: Good one Bea: You'll just take his place and YOU will get life Bea: He's smiling, he fucking loves it Bea: Won't be surprised if I'm subjected to reading 'his side of the story' next Fraze: I'm not gonna stand around doing fuck all like I had to as a kid Fraze: I'll take my punishment if it means wiping the smile off his face at the same time Bea: Nothing's changed, can't change anything Bea: that was it, that was the punishment, my closure, now its done Bea: Oh, and leave me alone? Great Bea: Besides, you have people who give a shit about you, unlike him, people who you can't do that to Fraze: I'd never do that. Fucking never. Wherever I am Fraze: But I'd be doing this for you, 'cause you can't ruin your life for this cunt again Fraze: You're the one I care about. I'd do anything for you Bea: I didn't ruin MY life Bea: HE did, end of Bea: I'm not under illusion anyone can do anything about it anymore Bea: left those dreams on the playground Fraze: I didn't mean it like that Fraze: What so I can't do anything? Fuck that Bea: Sorry to say, babe Bea: get angry if it helps you sleep at night Bea: I'm sick of being angry Fraze: I don't give a shit about helping myself Fraze: There has to be something I can do for you Bea: What? Bea: I'll just book myself into therapy when I can afford it Bea: repress it all like a good girl Fraze: Talk to me. I ain't a shrink granted but it won't cost you more than a drink like Bea: What do you want me to say, Fraze? Fraze: Fuck I don't know, Bea Fraze: What do you wanna say Fraze: Be honest Bea: Nothing Bea: I wish I didn't have to think about it and remember it Bea: never mind talk about it Bea: I wish it never happened because I don't wanna be that girl Bea: Its pathetic, I'm pathetic and I hate it Fraze: It did happen, yeah, but it doesn't make you pathetic Fraze: You ain't that, never have been Bea: Yes, I am Bea: What could be more pathetic than an abused orphan Bea: everything about it screams pity me and I don't want that Fraze: No. You're smart, brave, determined, beautiful and that's not the half of it Fraze: That's what happened, not who you are Fraze: Who's pitying the best student at Cambridge? Come on. Bea: I'm hardly shouting about who I am and where I've come from, am I Bea: but its still the truth, even if I hide it forever Fraze: Nor am I. Why have we gotta? Fraze: The truth is he shouldn't be out. Ever Fraze: And that shit shouldn't have happened to you Bea: Because its all fake, a lie Bea: Well it did Bea: I doubt he'll be able to pull that shit again, looks on death's door the miserable fat cunt Bea: Who's going to let him near their children now? Fraze: We're real Fraze: Fingers crossed, save me a job, yeah? Bea: Yeah? Bea: Ok Fraze: Bea, don't Fraze: You know it Fraze: I love you Bea: Even so Bea: still can't make it work Bea: still gotta fuck around Fraze: We are making it work Bea: If that's what you wanna call it Bea: Sure Bea: Functioning, super healthy Fraze: I never said that Fraze: Christ, we keep having the same fight about this for one thing Fraze: But we're not giving up Bea: Only because we're stubborn Bea: doesn't mean its a good thing Bea: Perhaps we should Fraze: Fuck you. You don't get to push me away Fraze: Not 'cause of him Bea: I can do whatever I want Fraze: Yeah you can Fraze: But don't lie to me or yourself that this is what you wanna do Bea: Is it a lie? Bea: Why else would we have made up that stupid rule Bea: Obviously over it Fraze: Speak for yourself Fraze: You aren't speaking for me now. Simple as Bea: Bullshit! Bea: I've not slept with anyone else Bea: you have Fraze: So what? Fraze: That doesn't mean I don't want you Fraze: I do Bea: That's exactly what it means Bea: Don't be ridiculous Fraze: You're being fucking ridiculous Fraze: I didn't go behind your back once. I wouldn't Fraze: If not for this agreement bullshit I wouldn't have looked at anyone else Bea: You can say that 'cos you haven't had to try Bea: it was for your benefit Fraze: You agreed to me to it along with me Fraze: You didn't tell me you weren't fucking around Fraze: I thought it was what you wanted Bea: Because I know you Bea: I'd rather at least be able to front like it was my idea Bea: than just get fucking cheated on Fraze: Clearly you don't Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: I don't know how many times I can tell you that I love and want you Bea: That's what he used to say too Bea: Just words Fraze: Don't you fucking dare put me up against him Fraze: I'm nothing like him Bea: Calm down, I'm not calling you a kid fucker Fraze: Don't tell me to calm down Fraze: You're calling me a piece of shit that's enough Fraze: I'd never hurt you. Ever. In any way Bea: Look Bea: Sorry, alright? Bea: I didn't mean that Bea: Not intentionally but you can't say that like its fact Fraze: Why can't I? It's a fact for me, living by it Fraze: I'm a lot of things, yeah, but I'm not that to you. I won't be Fraze: Like I said, I'd do anything for you. Tell me what you want me to do Bea: Because you can't control me or what hurts me Bea: Stop caring Bea: Can't you see where it ends? Fraze: Stop twisting it Fraze: I'm not trying to control anything except this now, you pushing me away, 'cause it's fucked Fraze: Look, I know where we end Fraze: Marry me. I mean it Fraze: All this bullshit can just stop Bea: Why would you say that? Bea: Now, REALLY Fraze: 'cause I love you Fraze: It'll happen one day why not now Bea: No, it won't Bea: I don't want to get married Bea: I'm trying to make something of my life not end it prematurely Fraze: I'm not stopping you Fraze: A ring wouldn't either Fraze: What the fuck happened to doing it together? Bea: What happened is we obviously can't Bea: We want different things, we're in different places Bea: It is what it is, Fraze Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: You're scared Bea: Of what? Fraze: Fuck knows. You tell me Fraze: He did a number on you and you think I'm gonna Fraze: You're safe with me. I let you know that when we met. Nothing's changed Bea: You were just a kid then Bea: you didn't know what you were promising and you certainly don't need to stick to it now Bea: some fucked sense of duty Bea: I just told you I didn't want to be a sad pity case Fraze: Maybe not then but I do now and I'm still saying Fraze: It's love, that's what it's been since I was 7 Fraze: And I told you, you fucking aren't Bea: Fraze Bea: The answer is still no Fraze: You don't have to marry me, just don't fucking leave, yeah? Bea: How can I? We aren't together now already Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: Fuck's sake Bea: Anyway Bea: just had to tell someone Fraze: Bea Fraze: Come on Bea: I can't Bea: I can't do or say what you want me to Bea: I'm sorry Bea: I really am Fraze: Fuck sorry Fraze: I want you. End of. I'm not asking for any more than that Fraze: What's hard about that all of sudden? Bea: Are you kidding me? You're living what's hard about it right now too, yeah? Bea: Either that or you're full of shit Bea: I can't keep missing you all the damn time Bea: it hurts too much Fraze: We knew it was coming Fraze: You're telling me you'd rather call it quits forever than miss me for a couple more years? Fraze: How'd that hurt less? Fraze: You're full of shit Bea: Fine, make ME say it Bea: because we'll get over each other Bea: we'd have to Fraze: If there's someone else just say it Bea: There isn't Bea: Don't try and make it into something it isn't Fraze: It's that London lad Fraze: I'll fucking kill him Bea: Bronson? Bea: That is ludicrous for so many reasons, which you'd be aware of if you took any time to listen to me, or try to get to know him Fraze: Don't turn this around on me, babe Fraze: He's the one pretending 'cause he's out for what he can get, with you Fraze: just friends, yeah? Fuck off Bea: That's not a thing that happens in real life, babe Bea: who knew you liked chick-flicks so much Bea: you think I wouldn't notice if I was slowly being wooed by my 'asexual' friend? Bea: the word alone makes him uncomfortable never mind this story you're concocting Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: And the point is, you have noticed and you're loving it Fraze: Gone off me 'cause you want him, but it's a big fucking joke, yeah? Bea: Oh, fuck off Bea: Even if he was into me, WHICH HE'S NOT, doesn't mean I HAVE to reciprocate it, WHICH I DON'T Bea: What do you even want me to say on this? Like, its not real, you're making it up Fraze: Go fuck yourself Fraze: Or him 'cause you clearly wanna Fraze: Trying to make me step aside like it's my idea Bea: Shame I can't, ey? Bea: 'Cause by this stupid fucking agreement I'm well within my right to anyway so Bea: why are you getting so angry? Fraze: You know why Fraze: I don't have feelings for any other girls Fraze: I'm not spending all my time with them like they're my girlfriend Bea: So I'm not allowed friends now? Bea: You have friends, I don't accuse you of fucking them or being in love with them Bea: My God! Fraze: Why am I the cunt for not wanting you to fucking replace me? Fraze: Christ sake Bea: Because I'm not! Bea: And if you can't take me at my word on that then tell me Bea: how do I prove that to you? Fraze: Stop pushing me away Fraze: And take me at my own fucking word Bea: I'm not pushing you away because there's someone else Bea: and you know it Fraze: What the fuck do I know? Fraze: You're messing with my head Fraze: Being fucking stupid Bea: I'm not trying to Bea: that's what I'm telling you Bea: leave Bea: don't get pulled in by my mess Fraze: Bea Fraze: Stop this shit Fraze: Enough now, yeah? Fraze: I'm not begging Bea: I can't Bea: Alright Bea: It ain't that simple Fraze: What's complicated Fraze: Don't act crazy Bea: That's right Bea: I'm crazy Fraze: Fucking hell Fraze: I'll call you when you've caught yourself on Fraze: Not getting nowhere Bea: Don't Bea: I don't want to talk to you Fraze: Don't answer Fraze: I can't make you Bea: Yeah 'cos I need you blowing up my phone Bea: Just leave me alone Fraze: I don't need you turning this on me Fraze: I'm trying Fraze: it's you doing this now Bea: Hey at least I didn't propose Fraze: Fuck you Bea: Fuck you right back