#obviously haven't fucked myself over forever regarding being able to change i mean there's no way for me to take back what ive already done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itastelikesand · 2 months ago

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Also my non stop anxious chatter is definitely partly because of giving up nicotine but I'm worried that it's not going to go away once it's been a while and I've just fucked myself forever because I let all my fears become self fulfilling prophecies instead of working to actually change as a person so I can be a healthy and safe person to be around and continue to change for the rest of my life so that I can do right by myself and those around me

#obviously haven't fucked myself over forever regarding being able to change i mean there's no way for me to take back what ive already done #retroactive awareness does nothing #i can only use it as a lesson moving forward #but i feel insane #im really really scared #the insanity is just this absolute certainty that my worst fears are true #but i also can't think about it because I don't know what id do and it's just so scary #my whole body goes numb #and i have to stop before it gets worse #but its the only thing i can think about #i don't even really know for sure that they are. but my anxiety and me have a lot of reasons it is #also i hate getting on here feeling bad for myself #because i shouldn't be pitied #and i did it #+ because i did #idk im still coping with feeling like i can't control myself #not like i didn't do it and choose to

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