#obvious disclaimer that not every system will relate to this rep and that's okay

[vocalsynths]

I don't know how much research the bandori team did into DID or if we're just a stereotype, but OUGH the inner world, the confusion, alter on alter violence, the way they have a TV room, the outside communication, it's all dollhouse themed- They even have fronting triggers.

I'm no longer a skeptic of the DID representation, I'm a believer in bandori and I look forward to their event cards that will show two of them.

[freddiekluger]

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation 

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit. 

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad? 

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on). 

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans. 

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious. 

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive. 

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman. 

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend???? 

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t. 

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out 

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

[errorsharingiscaring]

Moon Knight System Relationship Analysis + Other Notes + A Lot Of Rambling + A Breakdown (Episode 4)

Jake gone.

System gone.

Life gone

Disclaimer: I do not have DID and to my knowledge have never met a system. I will fix any mistakes that people point out. 

TW: Swearing, a lot of caps, MK rep criticism.

You know, when I started typing out my thoughts on episode 5 and then went into a tangent about episode 1 within the first paragraph and then decided “ok fuck it I guess we’re doing this now” and started this entire mess of a long-ass essay, I thought I’d lose interest incredibly quickly and never actually finish all of the episodes, or worse, I’d forget everything I wanted to say about episode 5’s ending (Which is an unfortunately common thing with me, it’s why I wanted to write it down). 

But here we are. Episode 4. And the hours I spend rewatching the episodes and typing out my thoughts are the happiest hours of the day! And I’m glad I did it this way, not episode 5 first and then the others because now I’m gonna go into the thing with a whole new perspective. So many things I would have missed if I’d just taken everything at face value! 

I love analysis. I genuinely do. It’s fun to see things come together, figure out the themes, understand characters and their motivations, piece together why the scene plays out like it does. But few shows have anything worth mentioning beyond the obvious reasonings and that makes analysis boring and not fun at all to do. So I’m very selective. 

Moon Knight is a show that comes once in a decade. And I love every single part of it. 

Episode 4. Tomb time! 

And instantly we get to see why Marc trusts Layla so much to have his back – I'd put my life in her hands. Without question. 

So for most of this episode Marc doesn’t front. It’s like a mirror to episode 3, where Steven fronted only at the end. And both of them had valid reasons for shunning the other, even if pettiness is part of it. 

Or, I should say, a large part of it. Marc kept Steven from the front when he should have given it up as soon as he realized he knew nothing about the sarcophagus, so that stung. To be fair to Marc, he had no assurance that Steven was going to give the front back if things got ugly, which had a very high chance of happening in a wide open area where there are tens of armed goons. Eventually he did let him front, but that was in a more peaceful position (as far as they knew), where Steven wasn’t going to get shot at. But ah. Pettiness. 

This beginning sequence, Layla talking to Steven, is both of them vocalizing their issues with Marc, who “isn’t there to hear”. And Layla starts with “we’re gonna need Marc”, but as soon as Steven points out that he was being kinda rude to her - “Hadn’t he disappeared from your life already?” it turns into bonding through hate. 

As patient as Layla is, it is definitely not the easiest thing sticking by someone who seems to actively get in the way of doing that. Someone who refuses to talk, who just keeps everything to himself, and now he disappeared for months and his only explanation is “welp whatever guess I fucked up now huh I guess we’re not okay now oops”. Steven is everything Marc isn’t, just like Marc is everything Steven isn’t. Steven is honest and forthcoming with his words while Marc is closed off and expresses his affection through actions and small gestures. Marc is usually stoic, single-focused, while Steven goes on a million tangents as soon as anyone mentions anything Egypt-related. After Layla spent however long she did with Marc and got so used to his antics that eventually they’ve become a thing she speaks negatively about when angry, meeting Steven, someone who is the opposite of all those annoying habits, is truly refreshing. 

This is not me justifying her kissing Steven. I feel like that’s a more complicated thing than the show allows it to be, and we can’t be certain about why Layla did it or how she felt, we don’t actually know her history with Marc. 

But it may be possible that she just misses him? 

Yeah she understands the alter thing and that Steven is not Marc, but... “You smell like him”, “you look like him”, and Marc’s most annoying habits are turned opposite, almost endearing because of how genuine Steven is... 

All I’m saying is, there is probably a long conversation about this once all the tension dies down. And I hope we get to see it! 

And despite everything, Marc still is worried for Steven. Every time Marc demands the front it’s when Steven is getting himself into a situation that Marc could handle better. But that has been this entire “mission” - this is Marc’s expertise, Steven was only really needed for figuring out the code for the sarcophagus. Everything else has been proven to be out of his depth, including handling a fight. So perhaps out of spite – not letting Marc do things the “violent” way, or out of pettiness – giving Marc a taste of his own medicine, not being allowed to front, Steven is not going to let himself be underestimated again. Not like he’s been his entire life, at his job, or by Marc, or Khonshu – Steven is going to get things done his way. 

And Marc understands that. He’s been watching Steven be put down, walked over and misnamed for far too long. And maybe there was little guilt in Marc when he gave Steven the front last episode. Maybe he realized he treated Steven the way that all those awful people did. And when Steven put his foot down, declaring that this was now his mission, Marc saw something a little different in Steven. 

So while he’s been protecting him this entire time, Marc realized his mistake in underestimating Steven. And when Steven doesn’t even flinch at “If you are gonna go through with this, you gotta be smart. For Layla’s sake”, Marc’s only reply is reassurance - “I’m here [in case you feel outnumbered], you’re not alone”. 

(And personally I love how Marc says “I’ll throw us, oFF A CLIFF”. It’s sad that right after he says “I’m here” Steven just bites back with “I’ve got Layla”. Like “I have the trust of someone you fucked up your relationship with, how does that feel?”. It’s an understandable anger from Steven, but... he really does not get the full picture. And I’ve seen Marc’s reaction be called jealousy, which might be a part of it, but the sting of a person he thinks he’s been protecting by distancing himself from being so enamored with what Marc must think of as “his better version”, it’s just... 

It hurts. And what hurts me is what if Marc thinks that Steven and Layla together is better for the both of them? What if Marc takes himself out of the picture on purpose, just so he can see the two people he loves the most be happy together, without his involvement, without him “fucking things up”? 

… Episode 5 happens though. And even if Marc would try to make this happen, Steven wouldn’t allow it. 

(Even now, when it’s just Steven and Layla, and Marc isn’t peeking into their conversation through any reflection, even when Layla is the one that leans into the kiss, Steven backs away with almost a scared look in his eyes and blurts out “Marc is trying to protect you”. Even full of spite and anger and pettiness, Steven almost automatically says “Marc isn’t a shitty guy”, because that’s what he’s slowly starting to realize. 

It’s been steadily happening over time. How he reacted to Harrow’s speech about Khonshu, how he gave up the front to Steven mid-fight, how he let Steven do his thing with the sarcophagus map, how he did try to reassure Steven that he’s not alone and Marc is always there if the worst case scenario happens. It’s all the little moments Steven noticed that made him believe the first thing Marc told him – “I am protecting [Layla]”. So Steven tells her what Marc can’t - that he still very deeply cares for her. 

So in Steven’s head, the kiss is less to replace Marc and more because they like each other as people. Overall, a decent way out of an impossible situation. 

(Even if Marc doesn’t necessarily agree.) 

(The fact that pure spite and anger was strong enough to take over just one hand for a single punch is just... Yeah I accept that as the only time in-universe rules are broken.)) 

And despite that, when Marc appears in a reflection again, he doesn’t seem pissed off. In fact, I think he’s missing a line in the few he says. A “Thank you”. 

I feel like I re-say this every episode but Marc truly does not understand words. He does not know how to properly express what he feels in words, that’s why his actions are important, they speak to his inner world. So Steven saying what Marc couldn’t - that he’s protecting Layla and him pushing her away wasn’t because he suddenly decided he “wants his life back” - it’s a meaningful moment to Marc. Someone understanding what he can’t do and then doing that thing for him is probably a first from Steven. 

Steven being kind to Marc is a first. 

Just... Them <3 

And now we get on a depression train that’s not gonna stop for a while, buckle in! 

First time Harrow made Layla doubt the whereabouts of her father’s death, she asked Marc about it and he immediately said everything was false. And yes that conversation could count as a fight but it’s nothing they haven’t experienced before – Layla learning something new about Marc and being frustrated about it. 

But this time Harrow gave details. That Marc was at the site, that her father was at the site and that scarf that Layla would know he died with. Marc can’t escape with lies again, he can’t say it doesn’t matter because Layla isn’t believing it again. Because even if Marc wasn’t the one that killed her father, “[he] was there”.  

Layla is done with the lies, it’s honestly surprising she wasn’t done with them way before, but this is twice now the same lie Marc has been trying to tell her is related to her father. All that time together, marriage, partnership, perhaps even being the only person there for each other – and Marc never mentioned that he knew something about her father’s death. His worst habit, his lying, the thing that she experienced the most of and what caused the two of them the most pain – it comes back, just once more, to make them lose everything. 

It hurts, knowing what’s ahead, but it is truly exceptional how much it hurts. 

That Marc has to speak, he has to tell exactly how it went down, him sharing secrets is bringing unimaginable pain but he can’t soften the blow, he can’t cut himself off now, he wants to tell Layla “It’s not worth recalling, you don’t need to know”, but he knows her, he knows how much her father means to her, he knows he’s the only one that can say what truly happened and he has to because if he doesn’t do it now he never will. 

Layla shoves him and he shifts right back, “You brought a killer right to him”, he can only nod, he can only accept that her hate and her anger and her “You just had a guilty conscience” accusation is the late punishment he is receiving for his actions. He can’t explain that their entire relationship isn’t him just doing penance, that he genuinely loves her and would give her the world, but he can’t give back what he took from her, that he will never forgive himself and will never stop trying to save her more pain than he has already caused her. 

He doesn’t even get the chance. 

The Sarcophsystem is killed. 

(Oh. Oh no I hope I’m wrong. 

Why didn’t Jake front to protect the system from death? 

There’s definitely the aspect of there being just way too much to handle, that no matter what kind of power you have you couldn’t get out of that situation alive (or not horribly wounded). But there is a mystical power that could manage that. 

One that. 

Seems. 

To come. 

As a prerequisite. 

To. 

Jake. 

Lockley. 

What if it is exactly that. Yes yes Jake can see what’s happening and he may understand that it’s hopeless but this is not the first “hopeless” situation the system has gotten itself into. Episode 6, how the hell do you recover enough from your soul being sucked out of your body to take out a horde of goons and a person that holds the power of an almighty god? Yes yes Khonshu armor gud, BUT JAKE IS A HUGE PART OF THAT MIRACULOUS FIX. Steven had that armor, Marc had that armor, and yet as soon as Jake took the stage, it apparently didn’t even take that long for the situation to be dealt with. With how Layla reacts when Marc and Steven return, it’s not impossible to think it was just a blink of an eye (CUE THE COMIC ACCURATE WAVY MUMMY STRIP ARMOR THAT REALLY LOOKS LIKE IT COULD TAKE CARE OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AT ONCE). 

What if Jake can only handle things when he has Khonshu’s armor. Or his protection, encouragement, WHAT IF POST CREDITS SCENE IS MORE THAN JUST KHONSHU TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SYSTEM. What if the only reason Jake is protecting the system or bothering to is because of a deal he made with Khonshu? 

What if the Jake alter appeared because of Khonshu? 

Yes I know Khonshu had something to do with Marc’s brother dying, but why the fuck would that stupid bird take notice of a completely ordinary child? IT’S PROBABLY SOMETHING SEASON 2 EXPLAINS BUT COME ON. 

If we take all the facts as we have them now, it is hauntingly pointing towards Jake only being there because of Khonshu. Protecting the system because of Khonshu, because of a deal, because of something that prevented Jake from defending the system from death when they didn’t have Khonshu’s power. 

You cannot begin to fathom how much I hope I’m wrong. From what I’ve seen of people talking about the comics and Jake he has nothing to do with Khonshu pre-Marc making a deal with him, Jake is another alter like Steven, appearing because of severe childhood trauma and serving a purpose that’s mainly “protecting the system like they weren’t when they were kids”, but what other fricking explanation is there. 

Alps was a death situation. THE GUYS HAD GUNS, Jake pops in then, pops in with the car chase, one wrong swerve they were all dead. 

Cairo chase was also death, THE GUYS HAD KNIVES, Jake pops in then! 

You’re telling me Jake “I’ll take care of this fight for you Steven!” Lockley wasn’t going to even try getting them out of that situation? 

You’re telling me Jake “I’ll take the uncomfortable ride through this bumpy car with these people that really want us dead for you Marc!” Lockley wasn’t going to front to at least take the pain of the gunshot?! 

You’re telling me Jake “I’ll kill this evil bastard that wants us dead for you guys because I know you’re not gonna do it because you don’t want that on your conscience!” Lockley just- 

JUST LET THEM DIE LIKE THAT?! 

AND NOW I’M JUST THINKING OF HIM KNOWING HOW TO GET OUT OF THE AFTERLIFE. Like he’s obviously buddy-buddy with Khonshu, you think the birb talked to him more and explained the afterlife and how to come back to life to him?! YOU’RE TELLING ME THE MORE REASONABLE OPTION TO EXPLAIN THIS IS JUST “KHONSHU SAID TO FREE HIM BECAUSE HE AND JAKE KNEW OF A WAY TO DIE AND COME BACK TO LIFE WITH MINIMAL EFFORT BUT IT REQUIRES KHONSHU TO BE NOT BOUND TO STONE”?! 

WHY WOULD THE BIRD THEN TAKE THE RISK OF BEING BOUND, WHAT IF SOMEONE SHOT THE SYSTEM AS SOON AS HE WAS A ROCK BIRB?! 

DID KHONSHU ALSO KNOW HOW TO APPEAL TO OSIRIS SO HE WOULD LET THEM THROUGH THE GATES?! 

HOW MUCH DOES JAKE KNOW OF THE AFTER LIFE!!!! 

Oh my LORD. 

Okay. Great. Amazing. We have two explanations. 

Jake had a deal with Khonshu before Marc even knew he existed. Great. Cool. Jake only protects the system when Khonshu is there to give him immortality armor. Yeah. This sounds really stupid now that I say it out loud. 

BUT THE ALTERNATIVE IS THAT KHONSHU TOLD JAKE BASICALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THE ENNEAD AND HOW IT WORKS, HOW TO MANIPULATE TAWERET TO TURN THE BOAT AROUND SO THEY WOULD BE HEADING TOWARDS THE GATES OF OSIRIS, THEN EXPLAINED HOW TO APPEAL TO OSIRIS SO HE LETS THEM BACK INTO LIFE, AND IT ALL HINGED ON KHONSHU NOT BEING BOUND TO STONE SO THE HEALING ARMOR CAN REVIVE THEM – AND THEN THE STONE AGE FUCKING PREHISTORIC DINOSAUR WENT AND GOT HIMSELF TURNED INTO A STUPID PLAGUE DOCTOR STATUE?! 

I- 

It makes so much sense I hate it. 

I hate- 

Oh my lord. 

Basically: 

Khonshu: “If there ever comes a time when you can’t get out of a difficult situation, dying is a valid option!” 

Jake: “WhAt.” 

I just. 

I want a season 2. 

I WANT THEM TO EXPLAIN SO MUCH SHIT- 

GodDAMMIT. 

(AND THE SCALES BALANCE HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE SCALES BALANCE THAT’S NOT SOME SORT OF FORMULA YOU CAN JUST MEMORIZE TO REPEAT IT EASILY WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUU-)) 

Aight that’s episode 4. 

I knooooow the beginning of the hospital is this episode’s end, but I have the intro written already and I wanna start with it so the only thing I can really is the way Steven was screaming inside the sarcophagus seemed really alarmed. This is one of two pieces of evidence towards my “Steven is claustrophobic” theory, and there’s not much beyond it. But I guess it’s just a little bit about Steven, and these little things end up doing the most for characterization, so it’s a win! 

And before diving head-first into episode 5, I have to say that for all the love I have for this show, I can’t ignore its worse sides. My focus is the writing, not the matter of whether it’s good representation or not, but scrolling through tumblr it’s inevitable to read people’s reviews. 

And just judging it by rep... it’s mixed at best. 

They avoided using proper DID terminology, avoided using the actual term itself, characters repeated insults usually thrown at systems that are used to discredit DID, and the show didn’t disprove them (when it should have, adamantly), it used the classic annoyingly unrealistic “alters talk through reflections” thing, they didn’t have a conversation about DID where it was plainly said that systems are people same as otherwise neurodivergent persons are, all really important to hear to a mainstream audience that’s been fed bad and false representation for a long time, now taking the show as high authority in the conversation. 

I admire the writing. It fell really short on representation. 

So there is room for improvement. And thank fuck there is, if it was an astronomical disaster in every aspect imaginable, it would be a lot more difficult to convince a studio such as Marvel to give it another shot with tweaks that the fans and community suggested. And that would affect their opinion on trying to represent other marginalized groups. (I know a lot of people think that would be a good thing, but there has to be something to balance out the misinformation of media in the past. The stigma has to be rooted out, and Marvel is using their platform like a huge multi-media corporation should. All of their research matched the insane resources they have for it, so they can dedicate even more to get it just right.) 

A verdict of good or bad is too final for a show that tackled a long misrepresented topic of an experience that is very different for each person. And looking back on people’s opinions when the announcement of Moon Knight came out... 

We all expected much worse, didn’t we? 

Like as soon as we saw “MARVEL is making a show about a CHARACTER THAT HAS DID”, we all expected the worst of the worst, that it was going to be such bad representation it would put Split to shame. 

So if nothing else, those expectations are shattered. For better, for worse, for somewhere in the middle. 

So whatever comes first, season 2 or a movie appearance, let’s hope that they at least start using the terms that any simple tumblrite can find and easily remember within 20 minutes of scrolling. 

(Let’s hope) 

Episode 5 my friend, my fiend.