#obv she's a horrible person & all but frankly was I in a situation like that I think I'd eat my own organs

[ghostblogging]

y'know it almost certainly has been said before and trans AUs are played out but I genuinely thinking making Zuko trans would add so much to his character and play off the family dynamics in ways that would both take his whole arc in fascinating directions and also slot in so perfectly

[forgottenronan]

edmund thought they all knew!!! ommmgggg that internal conflict re: pride vs horror in the battle of m!!!!!! lkajsdkfljsdf honestly that is soooooooo delicious!!! aklsdjfklsjdkfljsd kfjsdkalf; sdkfj kls;dfKLAJSDFKLJ lkajsdfkljds but anyway, we ~do now know how that info all came out, and ronan is not involved (outside being like 'time for an assassination!) so ill just go ahead and *maurice moss voice* 'move on' to that...

bc!!!!! i think cillian probs ~has talked abt all of this now since the ice ball, etc, and so now ronan knows that the dude who sacked malconaire is still haunting the site of his triumph (in ronan's eyes this is defff a gloating move!) and (in ronan's eyes, again) creeping on one of the precious daughters of the man he killed so like!!!!!! we maay have found our first assassination target laksjdfkljsdf esp bc malconaire is soooo close and like????? these are largely peasants ~from malconaore like!!! who knows the terrain etc better than they!!!

so like idk exactly what it'd be (probs fodder for resistance comments in future!) but i think ronan will be looking to make some kinda trap for edmund next time he comes to malconaire so they can kill him akljsfkjsdf cillian: 'could we pls just let him explain to rosie first? i reaaaaally want her to know what happened its an important lesson for her!' ronan: 'oh, you know he's def coming to malconaire in x time span? perfect!' cillian: 'did you not just hear me????' aka edmund's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day incoming ig lkajsdfkljdsjf

not unlike w cassandra, i think this may create some internal strife in the resistance, so idk if it'll come off at all? tho ronan's pr gung-ho so he might try smth even if its just him ~alone idk!! but yeah, like, for example, i ~do think saoirse, at least, will defffff be WILDLY against this bc like????? if edmund turned up murdered in malconaire, you KNOW roderick would NOT wait to find out what happened, first, to just execute justice against the murders, he would want vengeance!!! he would come down like a hammer on malconaire and wipe it from the map!!!!!!!! lakjsdfkljsdf (also edmund would posthumously be declared his heir and one true prince etc etc etc arthur and guin: ...ok...we miss him too...but you ~do realize he really cant inherit atp right?)

but ronan is not at his most reasonable atm!!!! and he's got a place and a time and all that's left is the trap! and, unlike cassandra, he does see edmund as just...fully evil in his own right, and frankly wants vengeance against him, so he really has no moral problem whatsoever w killing him ngl!!! lkajsdklfjsdf cillian will have mixed feelings bc ngl part of him ~does want edmund dead now that he knows he was the general at the battle of m, but also he honestly was kinda touched by/v much respects how edmund handled the whole confession thing???? plus also saoirse will def be pointing out roderick's reaction and obv cillian ~doesn't want ~that!!!

now, i do think if he tries this in rosie's presence (that would def be an accident he def doesn't want rosie having to witness this or anything but given the plan revolves around edmund going to meet up w rosie it could def still happen), she obv would def tryna diffuse the situation!!!! she will be in a lot of personal turmoil given what edmund tells her etc (if he's gotten a chance yet ~to tell her) ofc but i guarantee she doesn't want him violently murdered right in front of her by her not!brother, either!!! (rosie: there's been too much violence and killing already!) and she ~is one of the og malconaire ladies so ronan does ultimately recognize her authority and, frankly more importantly, he loves her like she's his own littlest sister but he does also believe she's being used/manipulated etc so yeah!! it might de-escalate it some degree but idk how itd all go, but yeah idk that she'd even get the chance to be involved frankly that's only if the timing has ~really gotten botched somehow or whatever (which could happen --- rosie might be delayed by valentina being like 'you gotta do some extra chores etc or whatever -- but yeah itd def be a fluke kinda thing) yknow?

so yeah, it might happen that the timing on this is botched so completely that ronan never ends up seeing edmund at all, or that he's talked down (either by edmund or someone else), or that he decides ~not to go through w it, or yeah!! idk that i want him to capture edmund (or if he does, he probs peacefully releases him before anyone at the palace ever realizes hes gone kinda thing?) given we've got that happening w cassandra later on (bc he might later regret ~not having killed edmund, if he ~chooses not to, after roderick's gone on his tear re: the malconaires etc)...he might ultimately just...walk up to him and be like 'yo, leave these girls alone man' if he's already been talked down, perhaps to the point where edmund may not even realize he had ever been in any danger from him??? idk!! i feel like we could go a lot of places w this, if we like any of it? idk, whatcha think?

OOC | Ronan & Edmund

hi! ronan hates edmund! and wants him dead! is there anything he can do? no! he hates him! me: *sob*

honestly he'd say its not personal, but it isssss he frankly wants all the roderick!varmonts to suffer horribly and dieeee bc he thinks that'd be justice for all the suffering astaira has gone through when, in fact...it'd just be more suffering...but ronan isn't in his most rational place, as we all know and he wants revenge and he'll wreak it on anyone he can in an effort to assuage his own pain so -- that's fun!!!!!! edmund is really just having hit after hit w the frost boys huh lkajsdflkjsdjf

im thinking that ronan maybe ~does know that its the raven banner that was at the battle of m, but he does noT talk abt that!!!!!! it was baDDDDD AND im thinking he probs doesn't know edmund ~is the raven prince or anything but if cillian comes in and is like HEY WHICH BANNERS ronan could tell him and then ~he could identify him as edmund

honestly, cillian's instinct won't be to go to ronan bc he knows how messed up ronan is and he doesn't wanna trigger him frankly but yeah! in that cillian, himself, is being triggered, he's def not feeling esp rational and it might come to that who knows!! anyway, if/when everyone eventually unveils edmund as the architect of the battle of m, ronan will hate him even ~more than he currently does and will probs be like TIME TO OBSESSIVELY PLAN AN ASSASSINATION!!!!! im realizing so...yikeS

fortunately for edmund, roderick is v used to these things and has all sorts of precautions but still its fun </3

[tardispowered]

Doctor Who Book Review: Only Human

Summary

Non-Spoilery Review: Absolute garbage.

Spoilers Below the cut.

To put it simply, this book was a mess. The writing was good in that it flowed well. In that the dialogue was clever and there were times when I laughed. There were moments when it almost reached something profound. Where I thought it would examine something interesting. It never did, but the potential was there. It could have been a lot better. But it’s not the wasted potential that annoys me the most. Not even the skewed characterization of everyone besides Rose. And even she had moments where I had to squint. No. It’s the hateful bits that really got me, written under the name of comedy.

But let’s break this down one thing at a time.

Plot: An absolute mess, especially as it went on. It was easy enough to follow from point A to point B, but there was both too much and too little going on. You had caveman Das who was transported to te modern day and has to stay because …reasons. You had Jack who had to stay with him.

You had Noble Savages Neanderthals where were just as Smart as the Humans but didn’t Lie so you knew they were Good. (Not that you see any more of them beyond the Noble Savage part  save for Das who became ‘civilized’ so it’s all right then) You had the primitive  Humans who will eventually be Evil and Wipe Out all the Neanderthals because that’s humanity for you. Also Rose marries into them…for reasons.

You have the time traveling humans living in this time period with them. Oh and also they have restricted emotions because emotions bad… Oh and one of them is evil and creating the perfect Humans called Hy-Bractor…who just do whatever she says and also eat people. (no comment on how the perfect human is perfectly subservient). You have Quillien who is a time traveler who refuses to express his emotions and is ostensibly the hero of the story…and does fuck all to earn it…

All of this in a little over 200 pages.

You also got a book that tried really hard to be a light and frothy adventure that dipped a bit into the Tim Burton well for no reason whatever near the end. Other than to be…well it’s a cool visual I guess. Chantal opens 9 up and does some surgical stuff. Cool imagery I guess. Nothing really comes of it. Rose is decapitated for a while? Cool imagery I guess. She’s not too too bothered.

And I mean, hey, there’s nothing wrong with a light and frothy adventure.

But it would be even better if it wasn’t A] Mean spirited as hell and B| kept characters in freaking character.

Let’s tackle B first… because whoo boy.

The Doctor

The weirdest thing is that 9 doesn’t sound too different than he should. His voice is in place. His mannerisms are in place. And then he drops words like ‘copping’ (which is UK slang for getting together yeah yeah yeah. Though at least somewhat innocent in that context) and says at one point: ‘tough titty.’

I just

I am still not over that one, frankly.

Tough titty.

Really?

Also his underlying sadness and grief that is very much a part of his character with the beginning is only touched on briefly (and cheaply). Now, I’m not saying that every 9 book has to be a slog in the Marsh of Sad, but the only mention of it is when he gets the Mood Lifter pills and is like: “Yeah my planet blew up and I used to be sad about but I’m not for some reason”

OH GEE. Glad the Time War wasn’t a BIG FREAKING DEAL that severely impacted your personality or anything. Whew!

(also apparently these mood lifters also act as mind control? Which isn’t very well explained and seems to suggest that if you feel good and blasé you’ll automatically listen to what the controller says which…what?)

Also he gooses someone to get a reaction out of them—which is just no. I can’t imagine any Doctor doing that, let alone 9. Especially not in that context.

When Rose gets married to the caveman Tillun…for reasons… and the Doctor takes her away, Tillun tries to attack and 9 basically trips him to the ground and the Doctor says something broadly like: It sucks to be used. Doesn’t it? You’ll get over it. And later Rose says the Doctor enjoyed doing that and it’s implied that he did.

And yeah 9 can be a little bit show-offy when faced with a rival to Rose’s affection. Like with Jack (who was kind of too full of himself) and Adam (who was definitely too full of himself) But aside from attacking 9, Tillun was a pretty ok guy. Rose seemed to like him.

I mean, 9 or hell, even Rose. Why not go out on a limb? Could just talk to him and convince him that they were asking the right thing. Tillun could have gotten more characterization and so could they. It could have been a negotiation and an understanding rather than just violence. But I mean the Doctor is cooler tripping someone to the ground and showing his badassitude.

Also he somehow makes the humans temporarily able to breathe fire to fight back against the newly created Hy-Bractor and nearly wipes out the entire species but isn’t too worried about it. Like obvs 9 has no problem with genocide. Even of a violent species out to kill him. It’s not like Rose convinced him to save a dalek or anything. Also good thing they Hy-Bractors have nothing more complex beyond basic emotions or personalities so we don’t have to feel bad for them dying.

Lucky us. 8|

Rose

I  thought Rose was pretty alright. She was actually the most solidly characterized even if there were parts where I was like ….wut? For instance she found Tillun hot because he was fit (which is understandable) and thought he had kissable floppy hair. I mean… this is a time before basic hygiene. I am not sure that his hair would be all that kissable. Just saying. Oh and for some reason she keeps thinking Quillien is a lech even though he doesn’t do a damn thing to her. But then when she decides to get married to convince the idiots to save themselves, she ends up in the equivalent of a fur bikini (because of course she does) and Quillien gives her a lusty stare (because of course he does) and it’s just kind of brushed aside.

Yeahh…that’s great.

Wonderful.

Just what a 9th Doctor book needs honestly 8|

 Jack

Basically, the story had no idea what to do with Jack and it shows. He’s just packaged off to look after Das, a caveman shunted forward into the present day. And he doesn’t do much but report on what Das is doing. And I mean it isn’t great, but it isn’t horrible—

Well it wasn’t horrible. Until Anna Marie.

Das likes Anna Marie. She’s attractive to him. She’s short and fat and has facial hair and a big nose, and doesn’t laugh much. Oh and her friends call her, and I quote: “Big Fat Anna Marie No Mates.”

Because it’s FUNNY. Because she’s UNATTRACTIVE. Ha ha. The Neanderthal likes the seriously ugly girl. Let’s all laugh at this side-splitting situation.

And that would be bad enough—but Jack is so damn judge-y about it too.

Jack.

Jack.

He would sleep with a yeti if it took him out for coffee and yet oh no god forbid a girl is short and fat and hairy. She’s obviously a Neanderthal. And he keeps shaking his head like how could Das like her. Ew.

But it’s a JOKE. HUMOR. HA HA

Thanks, I hate it 8|

And since we’re segueing into it, when Das said he wanted to marry Anna Marie, her father cried because he thought she’d never find someone not like her stick thin conventionally attractive sister.

It doesn’t matter if Anna Marie finds Das attractive or not. We never find out. But she doesn’t matter as a person. All she matters is as the butt of a joke. But look she’s happy so it’s okay. Only she’s happy because it’s implied no one else will give her the time of day because she’s so ugly. And it’s apparently okay to call her out on it because God Forbid she not be fuckable. It doesn’t matter what her personality is. Doesn’t matter what her hopes and fears are. Her talents and her flaws. Just that she has facial hair and so is basically worthless so she should thank god this Neanderthal came along and wanted her otherwise she’d really be useless.

Also, it was pointed out that her family is Irish. Which, granted I am not from the UK but this feels particularly racist to me.

Because yes, this is the kind of story we want from the 9th Doctor. The Doctor who struggled to cover up depression. Who did the hard thing because he thought it was the right thing. Who cared about people.

More than that, the Doctor that was played by Christopher Eccleston who fought to keep his Manchester Accent. To make the initial run of DW like it was. Rose was a chav. It didn’t matter. The Doctor was rough around the edges and didn’t speak in Received Pronunciation. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was they were who they were. They were worthy of love and respect. Rose didn’t have to be super intelligent to fly with the Doctor. The Doctor didn’t have to sound like he fell from London to be the Doctor. And, more than anything, that is who the 9th Doctor is and should be.

So no. No. There is so much more wrong with this book (like a particularly egregious cult of the Doctor moment) but I am not giving it any more of my time. It’s not in my headcanon. I don’t want it anywhere near me.

I give it half a star for decent writing but beyond that it can die in a fire.