#obv after the golden guard dies darius sobers up and stops doing shit like this but he's still a little bitch into his late 40s which i lov

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

anyway i know cars arent a thing in the boiling isles but i think the hagsquad during their school years would have been the types to crash a car into a stop sign at 50 mph in a school zone.

and after that perry would try to make sure no one is hurt and call his parents/the cops to pick them up. alador would try to fix the car but he'd get distracted and start taking it apart instead. odalia would try to bribe the cops to not report this. darius would get in the cop's face and be like "arrest us no i DARE you to arrest us do you know who i am? my mentor is THE golden guard suck it." lilith would curl up in the back trunk and have a two-hour long panic attack because she'll never get accepted into the emperor's coven if she doesn't have a spotless driving record. (she wasn't driving.) (alador was.) (he got distracted by a bird.) raine would try to hide the broken stop sign. eda would try to hide the car.