#obsessed with how he spends half his time jamming that fucking hat down on his head

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) Chapter 9

Hi friends! Heres Chapter 9! Got inspired by that post awhile back about Africa by Toto being played in the sewer and Penny jamming to it. Leech is a huge music connoisseur so I head cannon that she plays a lot of Guitar Hero with Freddy. Also theres slapstick/horror comedy in this one! The story is going to get more and more comedic from here because of the characters that are soon to be involved. Bonus points if anyone can guess which monster(s) I plan on bringing in next!

Warnings: Fluff, Horror, Alcohol

chapter 9

Africa

Pennywise climbed the basement stairs of the Neibolt House in annoyance. Leech hadn't come to see him yet today and as much as he hated to admit it her visits had become the highlight of his day especially when she had the weekend off to spend all her time with him. he had noticed that the more he was around her the more her scent changed, it was something that initially drew him to her in the first place. Her scent started out faintly sweet, but ever since they became intimate it was becoming overwhelming to him. A human would probably describe the scent similar to that of a freshly baked cake or pie being shoved right up against your nose. When he first noticed it, he had caught her looking at him while they had been both been casually chatting doing their chore wheel tasks. Something about her smell changed when she smiled at him. It got worse that night she got drunk while watching movies with the gang. Leech was sitting next to him on the couch and that sweet smell drifted into his nose when she reached over him for the popcorn in his lap. It would get stronger and stronger as their interactions increased Pennywise noticing that he could draw it out of her by doing certain things like putting his hand on her shoulder, or giving her certain looks.

He tried desperately to cope with the strange new feelings, he stopped eating for a bit and avoided her as much as possible. When Dracula finally confronted him he was a confused mess and he was even more confused when the elder vampire helped him realize that this new feeling was lust. After Chucky found out about his terrible affliction the two had begun bugging him non stop about it. Their “helping” him ending up feeding his obsession and he eventually gave in, fully accepting that he had feelings for this nearly human girl. These awful feelings are even worse now having started this…..complicated thing. He found himself with a whole new mess of emotions that he had no idea what to do with other than bury them deep and hope she didn't notice.

When usually he found her Leech would be listening to music or messing with her phone in her room where he'd promptly scare her before flopping down onto her bed to annoy her further. Today however he could hear her shouting passionately at Freddy in the living room, a hobby that they both shared.

“Your ass is mine Kruger I spent an entire week perfecting this solo.”

“Sweet cheeks you weren't even born when this song came out”

The two were in front of the old tv violently playing with fake guitars in their pjs. Leatherface was behind them gleefully hitting a toy drum-set and Dracula sat amused on an old chair.

“Does anyone want to explain this to me?”

“I don't quite know what it is but they have been at this for at least 12 hours now” the vampire exclaimed motioning for the clown to join.

“Have they even slept?”

“I do not think they have, my young apprentice hasn't even fed or bathed yet. Her determination to crush my roommate at this strange musical game is quite admirable.”

“Speaking of, Drac need refreshments!” Freddy called over his shoulder as the song Free Bird headed into its big solo.

“You cant do that! I haven't had anything to eat all day!”

“You’re just mad because you're all alone in this battle. THERES NO ONE TO SAVE YOU LEECH GIVE UP” Freddy shredded on the rock band controller aggressively

“Bite my nearly undead ass Freddy”

“I’m sure the clown does that plenty for you already bitch.”

Pennywise cleared his throat.

“Oh hey Pen, you wanna be a peach and get me some fuel.” Leech said glancing over her shoulder.

“Do I look like your servant? You're perfectly capable of getting it yourself you're just too lazy to go out and practice apparently.”

“OH HE BURNED YOU GOOD BLOODSUCKER”

“There are more pressing matters at hand Penny, asses need to be kicked right now”

“More pressing matters than not starving to death?”

“I’ll live”

“Barely. You look half dead, go sleep”

“Sleep is for the weak” she said turning to him with an absolutely feral look on her face.

“You're taking a break” the clown said as he scooped her up before she could protest. He carried her off to the bathroom where he turned on the shower and pushed her in still wearing her clothes.

“PENNYWISE what the hell!”

“Get clean.”

“But?

“No you can kick Freddy’s ass later” he crossed his arms and watched her expectantly.

“Um….. are you gong to leave?”

“Need to make sure you listen dear. Come now out of those wet clothes.” he said with a lusty tone, shit eating grin now forming on his face. Leech rolled her eyes and shut the curtain causing the clown to groan in disappointment. He nearly began to leave when the curtain reopened he turned back around quickly. Leech was now holding her wet clothing in a nice little ball and a drop of drool left the clowns lips at the sight.

“Hey Penny~” she said with a seductive voice

“Y-yes?”

“Hang these out to dry douchebag” she chucked the ball at his head wet clothes landing smack on his face before the curtain shut again.

“you torture me.”

“Its my favorite hobby.”

Pennywise growled in annoyance and left to find some extra hangers. He knew he kept some somewhere in his clown room where he kept a collection of circus memorabilia. When he opened the door and was greeted with a puff of dust causing him to scrunch his nose in annoyance it'd been a while since he was up here “I’ve been slacking off” he thought aloud to himself as he rummaged for hangers. After finding what he was looking for he decided to try to tidy the place up a bit grabbing a mix tape he had acquired from some poor soul standing outside his ex girlfriends window with a boombox. The clown never really liked the songs on the tape at first but lately they've been growing on him due to….certain circumstances. A few cheesy love songs had gone by and he was halfway done, Pennywise felt himself getting carried away with the current song playing singing along while dusting off an antique mannequin. He removed the clown wig from its head glancing fondly at it now as it was reminding him of a certain almost-vampire a few doors down. The clown found himself serenading it as if it was actually her, picking it up and beginning to dance to the song Africa by Toto. Freddy walked by the door just in time and froze to watch the scene unfold before him in amusement. “My darling little Leech you know I have grown quite fond of you” the clown growled into the mannequins cheek. Freddy had to bite down on his hat to keep quiet. “Whats that? You've fallen for me as well?” The clown dipped the mannequin down kissing its chest as the song came to an end. Freddy gave him a round of applause wiping away fake tears doing everything he could not to explode in laughter. “That was beautiful Jingles.”

Pennywise dropped the mannequin. “H-how long were you s-standing there for?”

“How long have you been in love?”

“I’m not in love. I don't love.”

“You just admitted it to your doll there jackass.”

“WAIT HE FINALLY SAID IT ALOUD?” came Chucky’s voice from down the hall

“NO I DID NOT AND SHUT UP PLEASE”

“This is great, I'm going to tell Dracula he's going to flip out.” Freddy began running for the stairs

“I wish those kids actually killed me in the 80s.” Pennywise mumbled

Just then a scream of terror could be heard from the bathroom followed by a series of curses of the clowns name. “PENNYWISEEEE”

Freddy and Chucky both came back out to look at him.

“What? I'm not doing anything?”

The three monsters eyes grew wide.

“oh no…. I'm not doing anything….”  The clown whispered

He bolted to the bathroom busting down the door “LEECH! What hap-” he slipped on a puddle of…. something and comically landed on his back. When he sat up she was covered in a weird black sludge that was shooting out of the shower head and bath tub faucet. The curtain had been yanked off and she was using it as a shield from the strange substance.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” yelled Chucky

“Also, nice butterfly tattoo under your boobs there Leech” Freddy added

“Its a moth!” Penny said from the floor.

“CAN WE FOCUS ON THE GOO PLEASE?? PEN MAKE IT FUCKING STOP”

“I told you I'm not doing it!”

Leech flopped out of the antique bathtub still clutching the curtains to herself and scrambling backwards into Pennywise as the tub began to overflow.

“AH Leech! You’re getting it all over me!” he yelled .

“PEN STRANGE BLACK GOO IS EXPLODING FROM OUR BATHTUB AND SHOWER HEAD. YOU LIVE IN THE SEWER! STAINS SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.”

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR SINK CLOWN” came a scream from downstairs flowed by frantic stomping up the stairs from both Leatherface and Drac

All the boys plus Leech were now staring at the massacre that was the upstairs bathroom.

“JINGLES MAKE IT STOP” screamed Chucky

“I CANT I’M NOT DOING IT”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIFF WILL DO TO ME IF SHE COMES HOME AND FINDS ALL HER BATHROOM SHIT COVERED IN BLACK SLUDGE. I. WILL. DIE.”

Leech reached a trembling claw up to her head and pulled out what looks like a piece of scalp with long hair still attached to it her eyes began to grow wide in horror.

“IS THIS HAIR? WHY IS THERE HAIR IN IT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT” Leech turned around and grabbed Pennywise ruffles.

“DO NOT LET IT GET ON ME THIS IS AN ANTIQUE OUTFIT” shrieked Dracula

Leatherface was hooting and crying. He Began smashing a hole in the wall in panic. Chucky did his best to calm him but ended up being thrown down the hall screaming out in pain.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE CLOWN” Freddy was shouting.

“EVERYONE SHUT UP AND STOP BEING AFRAID I CANT FUCKING THINK WITH ALL THIS FEAR IN THE ROOM”

“YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS??? WE ARE GOING TO DROWN IN BLACK GOO THAT HAS PIECES OF SCALP IN IT! I’M THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT CANT RESURRECT YET! IM GOING TO DIE PEN! IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE!” Leech started hyperventilating and twitching claws out now tearing at the fabric of Pennywise’s costume.

Everyone was frantically “trying” to do something to stop the sludge oozing out of the bathroom Freddy ran up to the shower with a towel in an attempt to plug it up, Dracula was backed up against the corner on the ceiling, Chucky was attempting to stand back up after being thrown like a rag doll and Leatherface was chucking anything he could at the bathroom (mostly hitting Freddy.)

“SHUT UP ALL OF YOU” Pennywise roared rising to his feet, a door materialized behind the clown and he disappeared into it slamming it shut.

“YOU FUCKER! YOU CANT LEAVE ME PEN. DONT YOU DARE ABANDON ME. GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE IM NAKED AND AFRAID AND I FUCKING NEED YOU RIGHT NOW! PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN GET YOUR PASTY RUFFLED BUTT BACK HERE AND STOP THIS BLACK SLUDGE.” Leech was pounding at the wall were the door had appeared still on the floor making big black hand prints on the wall.

Suddenly everything stopped. The boys and Leech all were frozen and panting in fear and confusion. The door reappeared and Pennywise walked out sludge splattered on his costume. “Did ANY ONE here think to turn the fucking water off? No? Just Pennywise? WOW imagine that! I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING DIDNT FREAK OUT AND MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT???? NOW EVERYONE GET OUT SO I CAN FUCKING FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT WITHOUT HAVING YOU SCREAMING BANSHEES TAINTING THE AIR WITH YOUR PANIC AND FEAR!” The usual yellow of the clown’s eyes were almost completely red. He was livid. Not only were his fangs and claws on full display he seemed to be even taller than before looming over everyone in the room. It was truly terrifying to behold. The gang went silent.

“C-can I at least p-put some clothes on?” Leech asked still covering herself with the shower curtain

“OUT.”

“Leaving!” she and everyone else scrambled for the door slamming it behind them.

-------------------------------------

Poor Penny he’s having a hard time. I totally head cannon that Pen is a secret plumbing expert since he lives in the sewers. Next chapter is going to have terrifying monster hate fucking so get hype for that friends! 

[witchysithgirl]

TC Imagine (Winter Version)

Daniel: tc

Bri: main character

Maddy: Roommate

All names are fake.

I was at home alone. May room mate and best friend Maddy had left for work this snowy Saturday morning and I was at home binge watching Christmas movies. I know that it's not even close to Christmas yet since it's still November, and I normally am not the kind of person to like winter because I've always hated the cold and I was forced to go outside for hours at a time as a child, so I just never ended up liking it. But now I realize what awesome things the winter season holds. I finished watching the 3rd movie of the day and realized that I had run out of my favorite hot chocolate mix, so I packed my bag and hoped in my car. I drove back into town on the lightly snowy road and made it to town by 2pm. The sun at this hour was very bright and made everything look like a winter wonderland. I loved it, everything about the layer of snow on the ground made me so happy. It was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. I hoped out of my car and went into my local grocery store and scanned the shelves to find the best hot chocolate they had in town. I bought a few more things along with the hot chocolate, mainly just some chocolates and candy but that's besides the point. I was checking out and I heard a very familiar voice. I looked in front of me and saw my old geography teacher. I was stunned to see anyone I knew out in public since I never really leave my house unless it's a school day or I have to go to work, but it's not just a normal "oh look it's my old teacher" No Daniel Scott is the person that I'm in love with. He's the one that takes my breath away when I see him, and sometimes I swear he looks at me with the same amount of love for me as I feel for him. He didn't notice me walk by him as I left, which was good and continued to try and get out of there as fast as possible, but something inside me told me to wait, to let him see me. So I took my time putting the stuff in my car and took my time to start it. I was about to turn out of my parking spot when I saw him walk up to the car next to me. It was his car. He saw me and smiled I smiled back of course and took the chance while he wasn't watching to get the fuck out of there. Yes I loved seeing him, but in public, hell no! I pulled out the parking lot like a mad man and drove home. Maddy texted me saying she was getting off work an hour early which was awesome because I wanted to torture her with my Christmas movie obsession. I was about half way home when I got another text I thought it was Maddy, but it was a number that I have never seen before.

Unknown: Hi! Sorry this is coming on such short notice, but I want to come over

I responded with,

Bri: I'm sorry, but I believe you got the wrong number

Unknown: Oh no, I know I have the right number. Bri right?

Bri: Yes, but who is this?

Unknown: That doesn't matter right now. I have a surprise for you, I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming over

Bri: Do I know you?

I was started to get a bit worried about this person, I don't know who they are and what they can do to me if they try to do something.

Unknown: Yes you do know me, but I can't tell you who I am because that's part of the surprise. If you want I can tell you something only I would know

Bri: Actually I would like that

Unknown: Okay well I know that you're in grade 12, you live with your friend Maddy, and you got a 95 in grade 9 geography

Bri: How do you? Okay well I guess I did tell a good amount of people the mark I got in my favorite class, and still my favorite class.

Unknown: Soooo I can come over?

Bri: Sure why not

Unknown: Yaaaayyyy!

Bri: Okay don't get too excited I still don't know who you are

Unknown: Alright I'll contain my happiness

Bri: Wait do you know my address?

Unknown: Oh ya I guess I should ask you that lol

Bri: It's (

*address number*

Unknown: Okay thanks :)

Bri: No problem

I was actually trusting this person with my address and phone number. That wasn't normal, but something in me said that it was okay, I know this person and I can trust them. I was only a few minutes away from my house and was currently jamming out to some My Chemical Romance. I pulled into my drive way, turned off my car, and headed back inside my house. I put away the stuff I bought and started up the kettle and TV to watch my next movie in line, Nightmare Before Christmas. My favorite movie ever. I grabbed a few chocolates and waited for my hot chocolate to be finished and sat down on the couch, letting my mind focus on the movie. I was about half way through my hot chocolate when I got a text from the unknown person,

Unknown: Okay I'm going to be there in a few minutes

Bri: Alright, i'll be waiting

A few minutes later I could hear a car door close from outside. I looked over the side of the couch and saw someone walking to the trunk and taking out a big black bag. Not like a trash bag, but like a present bag. I was a little confused as to what it could be, but then I remembered that my birthday was in a few days. Someone was getting me a surprise gift. I stood up and quickly put on my combat boots and blood red jacket so I could go outside and help who ever it was with the gift they had gotten me. I walked closer to the person until I was a good seven feet away and said,

"Hello?"

The person turned there head to look at me and I almost gasped at who it was. It was Daniel, he was texting me and wanted to give me a birthday gift. I had never gotten anything from a teacher before and was surprised it was Daniel.

"Oh hey Bri, um I hope this isn't weird but," Daniel said grabbing the bag from his trunk. He was wearing his long, grey, felt jacket and a Irish hat to keep warm. I was just taking in this very casual yet a bit of professional look on him since I've only seen him wear dress shirts before.

"I thought you'd want an early birthday gift. I know you probably haven't gotten a gift from a teacher before, but I felt like this could be a first time thing, and I want to talk to you about something."

"Oh ya it's okay Mr. Scott would you like to come in?"

"Ya sure. Also you can call me Daniel outside of school."

"Okay cool." We walked into my house and sat down on the couch.

"Would you like some hot chocolate, I'm a pretty big nerd for hot drinks." I said. I managed to get him to laugh at something.

"Why am I the same?" We both laughed.

"Sure Bri." I got Daniel a cup of hot chocolate and sat back down on the couch and handed him his cup. He took a sip as did I and said,

"Okay so I feel like you should open half of your gift first and then we'll talk and then that'll lead to you opening the rest of you gift."

"Jeez you really planned this out didn't you?"

"Ya I guess I did." I took the gift from him and opened the card.

"Oh also there's two cards."

"Good god why do you try so hard." I finished taking it out of the envelope and read it.

To Bri,

No person in the world should have a better birthday than you. Having friends around you on this day is the best way to spend it. Hope this 19th birthday is the most prefect birthday ever.

From, Daniel

I smiled at what was written and looked over at Daniel under my eye lashes. I saw him smiling at me and continued on opening my gift. I pulled back the tissue paper and took out a book. I was a book nerd not gonna lie, but when I read what it was about I gasped. It was a huge study book on everything anyone has ever learned about space. I read the first page which said what was in the book and was so happy I had gotten this because space is one of my biggest passions. I looked back at Daniel who was smiling greatly at my reaction. I set the book down and turned back to Daniel and said,

"Daniel, I-I. Thank you for this, I didn't know that you knew I loved anything space."

"Well I mean I did have the help of your friends with that one." He said smiling at me.

"Is- is there anything else?"

"Uhh ya one more thing." He said leaning back into the couch. I pulled out more tissue paper and saw a small box. I picked it up and very carefully opened it. What was inside must've cost a decent amount of money, at least a few hundred. It was a gold nugget on a necklace. I actually gasped this time and dropped the box and held the necklace in my hand. I was shocked because I remember that in grade 9 Daniel showed us his necklace, which looks identical to the one in my hands. I looked back at him shocked and said,

"Daniel, you really didn't-"

"Bri, I had to. Gold is just your colour." He said happily. I smiled at him and put it around my neck right next to my other necklace which holds my Dad's ashes. I held them both tightly in my hand and looked back at Daniel.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do any of this, but I'm happy that someone remembered." Daniel smiled back at me and sat up straight probably wanting to talk now.

"Okay so umm you wanted to talk about something?"

"Oh uh ya, ummmm..." He trailed off trying to find his next words.

"I've been hearing some things, not by anyone in particular, just I've heard people say that there's rumors going around that you have feelings for me more than a teacher. Now there are some other rumors where people are saying that I have feelings for you that are more than just a student-teacher relationship." I was now kind of scared because he's heard people say that I have feelings for him, which I do, but I was shocked because he said that he has heard people also say that he has feelings for me and I really want to know if those are true so then I know what to say.

"Well out of curiosity, do-do you actually... Ya know, feel that way?" He thought about it for a few seconds and then said,

"Well ummm, I just-I want to know if what-"

"Daniel I don't care if you do I'm just curious, and I mean I've never had this kind of conversion before so I just want to hear from you first." He opened his mouth trying to think of a response, but then closed it again. I looked at him trying to find his words and cleaned up the tissue paper that was on the floor. I put it in the garbage and took a minute to regain myself. I placed my hands on the counter and let go of a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. I hung my head from my shoulders trying to calm myself down since I had never have been in such great tension before and was not going to let my secret slip before he answered my question. I walked back into the living room and took a long sip of my hot chocolate, which at this point wasn't hot anymore and slowly looked back at Daniel who was leaning his head back on the couch.

"Yes. Yes they're true. I have strong feelings for you, and I'm not going to let anything stop me." He said bringing his head back into it's normal position. He looked at me in the eyes and I looked back at him. I had finally heard the words I've wanted to hear for years. He actually has some intimate feelings for me and  was glad that he confessed to me. I smiled at him and opened the rest of the gift. Under a layer of even more tissue paper was a small box of minty chocolates I smiled, sat them down, and continued opening the gift. Daniel was watching me open up the gifts that were probably meant to be opened once I confessed my feelings to him, and I wanted to, but I really wanted to see what he had gotten for me. I pulled out another card and opened it. On the front it read,

*Outside of the card*

To the one person I'd love to spend my life with, you may not know me too well, but I feel like all I need in life is you in my arms when I sleep.

*On the inside*

If I had the chance to pull you aside in work and kiss you, that's all I would ever do. I truly feel in love with you and I'll never say that I don't. If you would please, I want to spend my whole life with you.

I covered my mouth and was too shocked to say anything for at least a minute solid neither of us moved until I felt the couch move and out of the corner of my eye I saw Daniel stand up and walk to the front door. I wanted to get up and stop him, but I was in so much shock at how much he really loved me that my body was frozen. I heard the front door close and a car engine start. I stood up so fast I couldn't see for a minute.I throw on my jacket and shoes and ran outside to stop him from getting into his car. I ran up to him as snow fell from the sky all around me and spun him around by the shoulders. I instantly made contact with his lips and forced him closer to me and made sure he wasn't going to get away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with so much passion, my lips felt like they were melting. I melted into his body and was so close to him I never wanted to be let go. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and pulled me closer into him. I felt my legs about to give out because of the amazing feeling of his super soft lips on mine. I leaned back almost about to fall, but Daniel held me close enough so that I wouldn't fall over. I hugged close to him as he kept his lips on mine trying to get the best kiss out of me. I pulled away trying to catch my breath and I looked back up at Daniel. I wanted to scream how much I love him and I looked up at him with so much love in my eyes. He looked back down at me with the same amount of love in his eyes, I pulled him into me and hugged him like it was the last time I would be able to see him.

"Daniel, I love you with all my heart."

"And I love you just the same."

[berevityandquiet]

the breakup

i’ve been talking about this fic off and on on twitter.

i was really, really inspired by Obsession by mcgenji on ao3 - i looovvee that fic, it’s got such an amazing grasp of emotion. it’s a real breath of fresh air in writing in my opinion. 

this is, of course, an unedited drabble bc when have i ever finished a fic. 

He tells him “it's over” over lukewarm cups of coffee.

Time doesn't really stop as much as it does slow. It's late evening, there are a few clouds in the sky. It may rain soon – the weather's been fairly temperamental lately.

“I'm sorry.” Genji says quietly. He won't look Jesse in the face – eyes studying the grain on the wood table, tears dripping down his cheeks.

Jesse hears the reasons why. The standard “it's not you, it's me.”, the “I still want to be friends”, the “I just don't think this will work.” He hears ten dollar words that just scream “boredom” and “dull”, and christ it hurts and yeah, in his brain, he knows that's not what Genji's saying.

But it's what it feels like.

“Please understand-” Genji starts again, starting to look up, but it's all Jesse can do to not just walk out.

So he puts his hat back on his head and slaps on the biggest grin he can and says

“Aw, it's all right – I gotcha.”

“You do?” Genji continues to cry – Jesse wants to. Wants to curl up in bed and bury his head in his dog's fur and cry until he's bled dry, but he doesn't. He grips the back of the chair and pushes it slowly back in place.

“'Course I do. Friends?”

Genji actually smiles. Soft, watery-eyed, and miserable, but he does smile and says, “Yes. Yes of course.”

And Jesse takes his leave under the guise of “Gotta run, gotta go to an appointment.”

He walks home in a daze, enters his apartment, and doesn't leave for three days.

- - -

“I'm sorry.” Sombra says softly – there's no mockery in her voice. Instead, it's...sad , “You guys were so-”

“Somb. Please.” Jesse grits out, gripping her thigh. He's got his head in her lap, staring at the ceiling, his beard wild and unkempt, “Please just...don't.”

And so she doesn't – she turns on Netflix and they spend the night quietly watching crime documentaries and eating greasy pizza.

- - -

The first few days are hell.

The next month is hell.

Genji wants to be friends, so they stay friends. A week after The Incident (so-dubbed by Sombra), Genji texts him hello.

It takes him half a day to respond. But eventually, he replies “Hi!” with a smiley emoji. All he wants to be is left alone, but Genji was part of his life for years.

He's still in love, he repeats every night, staring up at the ceiling and running the moment over and over and over in his head. So many things left unsaid, so many loose ends. In his dreams he drops to his knees and begs and as he brushes his teeth, he daydreams lines: “That's fine, fuck you too” or “Yeah, I was getting bored too” or even “Please, please don't let this be the end for us.”

He sits in his room and listens to more Mahler than his healthy. That is, until Fareeha storms his apartment, steals all his cd's and tells him he's not allowed to listen to the “sad stuff” anymore.

And then he listens to Debussy.

And Davis.

And Frank – and Parton. And Collins and Gabriel worms their way in, calling to the Solsbury Hills and the Odds respectively.  His house virtually becomes a museum to music, because that's what he's always clung to in times of hardship. Clung to it when his parents divorced, clung to it when his dog died, clung to it when he lost his arm and he clings to it now, as he throws away pictures of Genji and him, deletes them off his phone. He can't stand to look at them anymore, can't fight the metallic-y, blackberry taste in his mouth. Dolly sings about Jolene and  here he is, sobbing about a lost love – the irony is palpable.

- - -

The first month is bad. And then it becomes... okay.

- - -

“Look, you've been stuck in your house all week.”

Lucio stands in the doorway, a crutch wedged in the space between. He won't go away, no matter how many times Jesse tells him he doesn't want to go out, “It's not healthy man. You're gonna die in there and stink up the joint.”

“Thanks.” Jesse grumbles, half hidden behind the door.

“You know what I mean.” Lucio frowns (and wow, it looks so...unnatural) “I know you're in a bad place, but you've gotta walk outside sometime.”

“I walk outside.”

“Walking back and forth to work doesn't count.” Lucio rolls his eyes, “As your friend, I'm giving you fair warning – you either come with us, or I send Jamie in here and you'll have to fend him off.”

“You are such an ass.”

“You'll thank me.”

The threat of having Jamie “Junkrat” Fawkes rolling into his apartment is enough to make him toss on some jeans and join his friends for a night.

And so they paint the town red.

First by going to the all-night grocery shop and pushing Hana in the cart through the isles, laughing amongst each other at the bizarrely overpriced items and buying way too much candy. And then sit at the towns square, hanging on the fountain, shooting the shit, and throwing pieces of candy at one another. Hana turns out Queen too loud and a passing police officer frowns at them, but it's summer and the entire town's outside enjoying the clear sky.

Sitting with his friends, watching the stars crawl across the sky, the ache goes from a sharp stab to a dull ache. He almost feels normal again – Jamie falls into the fountain and they get yelled at by the same passing officer who tells them “Act like adults!”

They all snigger behind their hands as he storms off – he's on one of those roomba things, what are they called again?

(“A segway, dummy.”

...he'd had that fight Genji.

It was entirely in jest – but it was their second date. They were going to this high-end Italian place that Jesse had to fight tooth-and-nail to get a reservation at. Jesse couldn't remember the name of the machine, so he juggled between “them scooter motherfuckers” and “them roomba fuckermothers” and Genji...

Genji had laughed so hard he had to stop and catch his breath.

In the end, the Italian food was so bland they'd left the restaurant and got McDonalds and sat in the booths and stole each other's fries)

It...didn't hurt as bad to remember that. Stung, just like an old paper cut stings when you turn it wrong but...not as bad. Jamie shakes the water off and gets drops everywhere and Jesse takes a moment to look down at his phone.

Genji S. - 10:45 PM

You guys look like you're having fun.

Jesse looks up, looks around and catches Genji's eye as he walks out of the bakery across the way. He's out with Angela, both of them ladened with brown paper bags.

(Probably full of those donuts he likes so much, Jesse thinks briefly)

Genji smiles and waves at him.

Jesse forces a smile and waves and turns back to the group, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. He doesn't invite them over – neither do his friends, who all wave and yell “Hi!” and Genji...

Genji waves back and follows Angela back to his car.

It's an awkward moment – they're all friends, technically, all part of one group. They're not taking sides – neither Jesse or Genji would want that.

(But deep, deep down, Jesse hopes they would pick him. Genji probably thinks the same.)

Lucio swipes the phone from Hana and tells them that he's been working on a new tune and quickly turns to his youtube page, blasting his music.

The papercut sting spreads.

But Jesse's okay.

- - -

“You sure I can't drive you home?”

Jamie's boyfriend is tall and intimidating, but his voice is soft as he speaks to Jesse.

“Naw. I only live five minutes 'way, I'd be wastin' yer gas.” Jesse waves him off, plopping his hat back on his head, “'Sides, it's one hell of a night. I wouldn' wanna miss this for the world.”

Jesse sees Hana and Lucio's car pulls out of the parking lot and Jamie is dozing in Mako's passenger side seat.

Mako nods and then Jesse's alone once more.

- - -

On the walk home he pays Pearl Jam and walks around his neighborhood until all the lights in his apartment die down.

- - -

The one thing they never tell you about a breakup is that it's really no different them coping with the death of a loved one.

It's the death of a relationship. The death of something you grew and cultivated for a significant amount of time – of course you would need to grieve.

And just like grief, you don't just go through each step in a row. Occasionally, you go back and forth, ping ponging as your brain struggles to cope.

Jesse's finding himself in anger now – that bitch, that whore, after all he's done, all he's given up. He storms around his apartment and throws books off of shelves, grabs a bottle of whisky and slams it on the floor.

He curls on his couch and clutches his pillows as his dog slinks up to him, terrified, and licks his bare arm. In one motion, Jesse reaches out and grabs the pup up, burring his face into Soldier's fur.

It's one of those lines that play in his head over and over and over, until he can't take it anymore.

We can still be intimate.

Like that's all Jesse wanted in the first place. Like that's all he cared for when they were together. Like that was what Jesse wanted from Genji in the first place.

We can still be intimate.

The idea makes Jesse sick.

And moreso, it makes him angry.

Was that really all Genji saw in him? The entire time they dated, did he really think that's what Jesse cared about? Not about his family, not about his hopes and dreams, no, just his ass?

Jesse cries into Soldier, falls asleep with the dog licking his tear stained face.

And in the morning, he gets up slowly, opens his window to the sounds of the street, and cleans his apartment up as best he can.