#o'kntuzy

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

Details and full fic on Ao3 

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April Part Two

~

Oh, this is gonna be a big one, isn’t it, Lee?

Sure is. We’ve got—well, I’ll say a complete top line. Black and O’Hara tearing it up as usual, but we’ll be missing sorely someone who’ll be across the ice this time, eh?

That’s right, Logan Tremblay—oh, there he is now. Skating out in blue.

“Your New York Rangers…” came the drawn out roar around Madison Square Garden.

Remus shifted back and forth on his skates. He could already feel the coolness of the ice from down the tunnel. He could feel Sirius behind him, doing the same thing.

“All right, boys, big game,” Thomas’ voice came from somewhere closer to the front of the line. “Big game, big game!”

Coach Weasley confessed in his pre-game interview that Winter was supposed to start tonight in net, but it’ll be Knut instead. He didn’t go into details, but it’s not a secret that Winter’s been battling injuries for quite a few seasons now.

It’s true, Dean. But Knut has been proving himself over and over again. We’ve heard from his teammates how important he is in the room, also how hard he is on himself after a loss. Tell me, Dean, we see this a lot from net minders. We see the way they place weight on themselves—Kasey Winter, too. Do you think that’s something Knut will have to manage down the line?

You know, Lee, I think he’s a kid. He’s so young—so much of the Lions team is so young—hell, their Captain is so young. I think its in their nature to be hard on themselves, they’ve all been working for this life for a long time. That isn’t to say I don’t think you can be too hard on yourself. And that’s tricky territory, especially given the fact that—now, I don’t want to say this, I really don’t—but given the fact that Knut could be looking at the starting spot soon.

Oh, yeah.

Madison Square Garden booed when they skated out, and the rattle of Sergei knocking the pile of pucks down off the boards for warm-ups was drowned out. Remus gathered one for himself, pushing hard around the back of the goal before tucking it neatly into the upper crossed corner of the still empty net. The music boomed, some lyric-less bass-heavy beat that Remus could tune right out. He didn’t look across the ice, to the blur of blue jerseys just at the corner of his vision. Sirius stayed at his heels, pulling to a hard stop just beside him.

“Seventy-one,” he said. “I didn’t think about the number.”

“What?” Remus asked, looking up at him. Sirius only nodded across the ice, and Remus took a breath, and then looked. He found Logan almost immediately, TREMBLAY in white across his shoulders rather than black, and, below—

Remus frowned, before realizing. Artemi Panarin already wore ten. Now, Logan wore 71 on his back.

“Leo’s 1, Harz’s backwards,” Sirius said, and then turned to smile at Remus, tapped a glove over where his necklace rested. “Guess you’re not the only one who likes to play with numbers.”

“Weird, huh?” Leo said as he skated up beside them, mask propped on top of his head. He jerked his chin across the ice. “He’s always been ten. In school and everything. Ask Finn.”

“Really weird,” Remus said, and Sirius gave him a loving nudge before skating off for his routine, Leo towards the goal. Remus headed for his usual spot in one of the corners, where he bounced a puck off the boards a few times, but at the last second, he changed directions. If he couldn’t change his routine, he didn’t like that. He took a long, slow breath and thought of earlier that morning, Sirius’ warm arms locked around him. He thought of how well Sirius knew him. How thoroughly. He tried to keep that thought playing through his mind, willed it to be louder than the music, than the chorus of winwinwin in his head.

Remus skated to the bench instead, lightly checking into Finn, who resolutely had his back to the ice.

“How’s he look?” Finn asked, squirting water into his mouth.

Remus glanced over Finn’s shoulder, only to see Alex skating up to them, coming to hard stop that sprayed Finn’s lower body with ice.

“Ugh,” Finn said and squeezed the water bottle at his brother’s chest, squirting the front of his jersey. Remus just laughed, knowing that the cameras were catching this for sure.

“Hi, baby brother,” Alex said, throwing an arm around his neck. “So glad you’re here. Ready to get your ass kicked, bud?”

“You wouldn’t kick my ass,” Finn said, and pointed to the top of the stands where the Rangers’ team box was. “Not while Mom and Dad are watching. We both know only I could ever get away with that.”

Alex just grinned and sent a wink to Remus. “He wishes. Hey.” He knocked his and Finn’s visors together. “Gotta tell you something.”

“No,” Finn pretended to put his gloves over his ears. “La-la-la, I don’t know what you’re gonna do but I’m not falling for it.”

“No, really.”

“La-la-la—”

Alex slapped at the side of his head. “It’s about Tremz.”

Finn lowered his hands, still looking suspicious. “What?”

“Don’t mind if Sir Lupin hears?”

“Oh, believe me,” Finn said, sending an identical grin to Remus. “Loops has heard it all. What, you weirdo, spit it out.”

Alex raised his glove near his mouth for privacy in case any cameras were on them, but he was still smiling—Remus actually thought his eyes looked a little bright. “In the locker room yesterday, Saint was talking about some book series and Lo just basically goes—” Alex gave Finn’s shoulders a little happy shake. “Oh, yeah, my boyfriend loves those.”

Remus’ heart squeezed as he saw Finn’s eyes go a little unfocused on the ice. He set the water bottle down on the boards, swallowed, and closed his eyes, like some final part of him surrendered to the belief that it was real. That this was real. Remus remembered that feeling well.

“Yeah?” Finn breathed.

“Yeah,” Alex said, softer this time. “Yeah.” He smiled, pushed Finn’s helmet down over his eyes, and skated a few strides backwards towards his own side of the ice. Finn pushed his helmet back up and watched him go.

“You fucking crying, Al?” Finn laughed, but he sounded choked up himself.

“Yes!” Alex called. “Love ya!”

Looks like the O’Hara brothers already have their competitive streak up and ready. As usual. Hey, what a treat it’d be to see those two play together on an Olympic team or something, eh, Dean?

Finn cleared his throat. Remus saw him finally look for Logan, saw him find him on the ice—saw Logan find him back and raise his stick with a soft look. “I love you, too.”

Before he crossed the blue line, Alex picked up a water bottle and squirted it at Kasey, who barely flinched. He was dressed in gear, but playing back-up tonight, baseball cap shading his eyes. “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Kasey just shook his head, smile small, brown eyes challenging. “Rangers stew.”

Alex scoffed, but skated closer to knock their helmets together gently, before darting off towards Montague in the Rangers goal just as the whistle blew, signaling the end of warm-ups.

The first few face-offs were a blur of adrenaline. Remus watched Sirius line up against Zibanejad. He kept waiting for Finn and Logan to end up shoulder to shoulder, but it never happened. Each time Logan was on the ice, Coach called Finn off of it. Thomas and Olli hardly let Logan near Leo’s net, either, double-manning him, predicting his every move. Remus saw Sirius and Pascal share slightly wolfish grins when Logan hit his stick against the boards in frustration.

Looks like Tremblay’s having himself quite the time out there against his former teammates. Haven’t seen him share the ice with his old college line mate yet. Had a bit of a tussle with Dumais, though, ha! Do you think that’s on purpose?

Tremblay and O’Hara go so far back, man, so much history. Played together at Harvard. Best friends, too. I don’t know why you’d keep two opponents who know each other’s game so well off of the same ice. I’d say you’d want that advantage, but, then again, that could backfire real quick, huh, Lee? I suppose I just want the show! Ha!

Oh, I’d say so.

“Jesus, Montague’s on tonight,” Sirius panted between drinks of water as the whistle blew for a deflection over the glass by the Rangers.

Remus nodded as he dragged a towel over his visor, clearing any sweat and steam away. “So’s Nut.”

“Ouais.” Sirius held his hand out for the towel and Remus handed it over. “We’re both locking each other down.”

“Better than the alternative.”

Sirius shrugged noncommittally and knocked on Remus’ helmet, making him laugh.

“That was an observation, not a jinx.”

Sirius didn’t look convinced, only glanced up at the clock. Six minutes to go in the first and no score. “If you say so.”

The Garden was still chanting Saint’s name after that last save. Saint, Saint, Saint, like they had stumbled in on some holy ritual. Remus took a moment to gaze up and around at the seats. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought he would get to play here after his injury. Never again, and now he had done it a few times. He didn’t think the effect was likely to ware off anytime soon. He watched Logan skate out, watched him check what line he was against—Pascal’s. Pascal said something as he took the face-off against Trocheck, and Logan smiled and rolled his eyes.

There we go, saying hello to an old friend, eh, Dean?

Tremblay lived with Dumais. The old joke is that they couldn’t get him to leave! My wife’s obsessed with Tremblay’s instagram, lots of pictures with Dumais’ kids. We know Tremz is the baby of three sisters—youngest child’s secret dream, to be the oldest?

Hey, I’m the baby of my family—no way I’d give up that leverage for anything.

Trocheck won it and Remus allowed himself a moment to settle into his old, familiar routine of watching Logan skate, the way he used to when he had spent all of his time on the bench. Sirius would always be his favorite—light, even strides that were soundless when he cut into the ice—but Logan skated like he was prepared to go miles and miles for what he wanted. His edges were clean, he could stop at the smallest touch, which meant it was hard to get around him and even harder to take the puck from him. Remus guessed that was why the Rangers coach had put him with Panarin. He shouldn’t be enjoying the way the two seemed to see lanes on the ice that looked closed, angles that looked impossible, but he was. Beautiful hockey was beautiful hockey, and Remus had always been able to appreciate that no matter what.

Logan narrowly avoided Evgeni, who definitely hadn’t gone in for the hit with his usual force, but it did make Logan pause for long enough that Evgeni was able to poke the puck away with his long reach, and right into Pascal’s waiting tape. Pascal turned and pushed hard up towards the other end—Logan on his heels.

“Très étrange…” Sirius breathed from beside him as the two whipped by.

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Strange.”

“Black!” Coach called when Evgeni came for a change. “O’Hara, go!”

Sirius was over the boards in a flash, well-rested from the whistle break. He caught Logan easy, Pascal blocking any shot he might make from behind. Logan liked to do that, no look passing. Finn had been on the receiving end of those for his entire career. Logan would keep his green eyes narrowed on the guy in front of him and then fake a shot, only to knock it back to Finn with his backhand for Finn and his speed to race half-way up the ice.

He couldn’t pass to Finn now, though, but Remus saw him hesitate, like the muscle-memory of it was fighting with him as he saw Finn in front of him on the ice. Finn shouted something to him that Remus couldn’t make out.

Oh, here we go, finally. This should be a show. Tremblay surrounded by familiar faces in the Rangers’ zone, knocks it to Panarin who can’t get it through, sends it around the boards to Fox, holding, holding, can’t get a lane—Black’s got it! Picked his pocket right up, looks like—is he gonna go coast to coast, Dean? Tremblay’s at his heels, can’t catch him—

Remus was on his feet as Sirius widened his stride the closer he got to Montague’s net. Saint was making himself big, blocker and glove out, knees ready to drop.

“Fake left,” Remus said under his breath. “High, high, c’mon…”

Sirius’ right leg raised, but Saint didn’t move the inch to follow where Sirius wanted him to go. Sirius’ shot was hit right out of the air by his blocker—God, the very edge of his blocker.

“Rebound!” Jackson shouted from beside him. “Cap, let’s fucking go!”

Sirius scrambled for it, but Logan got there first and knocked it all the way down the ice. The whistle blew for icing on the Rangers, and Logan’s line would have to stay on the ice for another shift, tired as they were.

Jesus, not often do you see a chance taken away from Sirius Black like that, do you, Lee?

Nope. No, you do not. Sebastian Montague, in these past few years…well, he’s been making a name for himself, yes he has.

Logan and Sirius were panting, sticks on their knees, not quite looking at each other. Logan bent to hand the puck to the ref, and Remus watched him send a glance to Sirius, watched him say something. Sirius turned and, after a moment, smiled, then reached his stick out to lightly wack Logan’s shins. Remus felt something release in his chest, looked to Finn who was watching them as he skated towards the boards for a change. He looked like he was feeling something similar—complicated and relieved, happy and sad.

“Mind staying out, Harzy?” Coach said when Finn reached the bench. Coach had an equally complicated look on his face as he raised his calling card to his mouth so the cameras couldn’t read him. “You distracted him good out there. Black got close, I think he can get close again before clock runs down.”

Finn looked surprised for a moment, then grinned. “Oh, Coach. I was born to distract Logan Tremblay.”

~

Remus was drenched in sweat by the time they were making their way down the tunnel for first intermission. They were still 0-0, but it was one of those games that just felt good. Difficult and evenly matched, low on hits, high on skill. It was always like that with the Rangers. Remus handed Lars his sweaty gloves to be dried with a nod of thanks. The locker room wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t quite. It wasn’t frustration exactly that hung in the air. More like will power. They wanted this. All of them.

Remus cut through the puck-marked tape on his stick once he was sitting in his stall again. Finn came into the room near the end of the line, just ahead of Leo, and let out a very loud, meandering sigh-like noise that made Leo laugh.

“Okay, Harzy?”

“This feels like a really weird dream. Like…” He paused to pull his jersey over his head, then stripping his pads off, leaving only Logan’s fleur-de-lis around his neck and his pants. “Like one of those dreams that you wake up and try to figure out what the fuck it means but you just sit there confused.”

Thomas laughed from beside Remus. “That was a whole thought.”

“I have a lot of them, occasionally.”

Remus just smiled and got up for the bathroom to rinse the sweat off of his face and neck. Within, Kasey was at the sink, stripped out of his pads. He was strong and tall, but always looked smaller, more fragile, in the moments just after he had removed all of the bulky goaltender gear. Kasey met his eyes in the mirror, twisting on the tap.

“Hey, Loops.”

“Hi, Bliz,” Remus said.

“Intense so far, eh?”

“Yeah,” Remus smiled. “Hey, gonna see Alex later?”

“Yeah, but we’re going out with a few of the guys first—not sure if the Cubs are coming, too, but I think they are. Old Harvard teammates and all that. And, from what I’ve heard from Leo, Tremz probably wants to do some sentimental shit like—I don’t know, serenade them?”

Remus laughed. “It’s sweet. I didn’t know he was like that, but it’s damn sweet.”

Kasey made a show of rolling his eyes but he was grinning, too, shutting the water off. “Yep. It is.”

“We’ll probably come, too,” Remus said. “But if we don’t win, I can’t promise you-know-who will be any fun.”

“Oh, you’ll wring some fun out of him, I know it.”

Remus leaned over and splashed water over his neck. “I always seem to, don’t I?”

Kasey was silent for a moment, but he wasn’t leaving like he normally would. Like any player, he had a strict intermission routine. Instead, he stood there, half-turned towards Remus.

“So, Cap asked you to marry him,” Kasey finally said.

“So he did.”

“I want to marry Natalie.”

Remus couldn’t help the way his head snapped towards him, couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face. “Oh my God, Kasey. That’s—” But then he noticed Kasey’s conflicted expression. “What’s up? That’s great, man.”

“It is.” Kasey nodded. “I’ve only been thinking. Our relationship with Alex is newer…well, Alex feels like my oldest friend in the world, but in this way, the way we three are now, it’s new. Very new. I don’t know how to tell him that I want to marry Natalie without him thinking that…without him worrying that I don’t think of him as permanently mine like that. Because I think I will want that. I think Nat will want that. I just…it feels different. We’re in a different place. I want to marry one person, but I want to keep the other.”

Remus nodded. He couldn’t picture wanting anyone but Sirius, couldn’t imagine having any room left over in his heart, but it filled him with warmth every time he thought of the Cubs, or when Kasey had told him about Natalie and Alex. Kasey was so quiet about it, but he was a bit like Finn, Remus sometimes thought. He had endless things to give.

“I think…I think you should tell him.”

“Yeah?”

“I think—I mean, maybe you’d be better of talking to Finn or Leo or Logan—but aren’t both of your relationships proof that things develop at different rates? That more than one thing can develop at once?”

Kasey nodded. “I…yeah.”

“I mean—okay, now that I’m thinking, even me.” Remus crossed his arms, leaning against the counter with a hip. “Maybe I don’t want two different people, but I wanted to kiss Sirius before I knew I was ever going to be friends with him. That shouldn’t really make sense, but that’s how I felt. And then he became my best friend while I was also falling in love with him. At the same time.”

Kasey smiled. “Yeah, I think we all knew about your little crush.”

Remus laughed. “I’m trying to say that I think…I think you should talk to Alex, ask Natalie, and…” Remus huffed out a laugh. “And wring out all the best that life has to offer. You’ve got a good hand you’ve been dealt.”

Kasey was quiet for so long that Remus started to worry that he’d said something wrong. That maybe he’d wanted or needed something else. He looked away from Kasey, trying to give him space, but kept an eye on his expression in the mirror—it was crumbling, slowly.

His voice came out so soft that even the bathroom’s echoes barely caught it. “I think I need to retire, Remus.”

And part of Remus felt like crumbling, too. Kasey was so quiet about it, about all of it, and Remus suddenly felt painfully grateful that someone like Kasey trusted him like this. He was thankful for his old job, and all that it had given him. If he’d started as a player, he wasn’t sure he would’ve gotten that.

“I know,” Remus said just as softly. How many hours had they spent together, trying to make the pain go away? Remus leaned his palms on the counter, freezing to the touch. “God. I know, Kase. You’ve been hurting a long time, huh?”

“They tell you to fight through it,” Kasey said, eyes down and unfocused. “That’s the thing about hockey. That’s probably what wrecked me and Alex for so long. What wrecked Sirius. They just tell you to fight through what hurts and it’ll go away. And if it doesn’t go away, ignore it. Pain means you’re an athlete, you asked for this.” Remus watched Kasey close his eyes. His face would have looked almost peaceful, if his voice hadn’t had a fine tremor to it, words barely audible by the end of his next sentence. “I’m so fucking tired of it. I’m so tired.”

Remus straightened and put a hand on Kasey’s back. “Kase…”

“I don’t know what’ll happen,” Kasey said.

“What’ll happen is you’re so fucking young. They make you feel old at twenty-eight in this game, and it’s bullshit. You can do anything you want. What’ll happen is you’ll choose something incredible, Kasey. I know you will. I know that because you know how to take your time. Believe me. I understand.”

“I—I want to finish the season. Give myself that.”

Remus nodded. “All right. Layla and Lars will help you.”

Kasey looked at him. “Will you help me?”

Remus had to take a minute. He squeezed Kasey’s shoulder and nodded fiercely. “Of course I will.”

Kasey sent him a quiet smile. He put his hand over Remus’. “Guess I’ll start with choosing Nat, then, huh?”

Remus smiled back. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

~

Finn just wanted to get back out onto the ice. He had thought he would be sad. He thought he would have woken up with dread and a dry mouth at the thought of seeing Logan in blue. But he hadn’t taken into consideration that now Logan’s eyes would always be on him, storm-ridden sea green, trained on him, looking for the best way to beat him. Finn could see it now, even as he mindlessly taped fresh sticks for period two. It riled Finn in a way he hadn’t known it would.

“Hey,” Leo said, sitting down in his stall beside Finn. “I know we said we were all going to Lo’s but…lots of the boys are going out tonight.”

“You want to go, babe?”

Leo shrugged. “Kinda. Don’t know if Lo knows about it, though. He won’t be looking at his phone now, gotta see after the game.”

Finn tore the tape with his teeth and smoothed his finished work. “I think we should. Today won’t be complete till I’ve got my hands all over your hips while everyone’s looking. We don’t play tomorrow, we can fly back after the team does.”

Leo’s answering smile was bright and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “That sounds good. So good. God, this game.”

“How’s it feel to you?” Finn said. “Because its getting me unexpectedly…toasty.”

Leo snorted. “I know, I can tell. I…” He paused. “I just—I really don’t want to let one of his past me, you know? It’s stupid, but oh my god, I don’t.”

“It’s not stupid,” Finn said. “Believe me, I feel the same.”

Leo leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “He looks good out there. Blue suits him.”

“You look good out there,” Finn said.

Leo offered him a small smile, eyes lingering over Finn’s, then Finn’s mouth. “Harzy?”

“Yeah?”

Another beat of silence, another flick of his eyes up, then down. “I—miss you.”

Finn started a little, blinked, sat up straighter. Leo smiled a little bashfully, looked down, and Finn reached out and put a hand on his thigh. “You miss me? Le, I’m…”

“I just mean…I feel better. And I can tell you feel better. We were all so different, for a moment there. And I’m—I guess I mean that I’m happy.” Leo put his hand over Finn’s. “That’s all. I’m happy. I don’t know.” Leo squeezed his fingers. “I—yeah, I don’t know.”

Finn nodded, slowly, understanding. He thought of the horribly still nights that they’d shared after Logan had first left. All of their trying, all of their tight grips. It did feel better now. Finn scooted closer, took Logan’s necklace from around his own neck and slipped it over Leo’s surprised, soft expression. He took Leo’s chin gently between his fingers and kissed him, because he could.

“I love you happy.” Finn said. and tapped the necklace and kissed him again. “For luck.”

“The necklace or the kiss?” Leo’s smile was bright.

“The necklace. The kiss is because I love you. Here’s another.” Finn kissed Leo’s forehead, then rested his own against it. “And I miss you, too. I don’t know exactly what I mean, either.”

Leo let out a breath. “Yeah…”

“But I do.”

Leo closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

The second period started off with a bang. Evgeni took on Reaves—and Finn honestly couldn’t be sure who won, only that they were both still talking a mile-a-minute on their way to their penalties.

“Does Reaves speak Russian?” Finn leaned in to say to Jackson, who just snorted.

“Kuns doesn’t care if you know what he’s saying during fights. It’s the feeling, Jackson, the feeling. They scare.”

Finn smiled. “Right. Reaves totally looks scared.” They looked like they were going to break down the glass.

“17, on Tremblay.” Coach tapped Finn’s shoulder. “Remember.”

“Oh, Coach, I remember.”

Finn next jumped the boards beside Sirius to swap out with Pascal’s fourth line. He narrowly avoided a hit by Blais with the puck on his stick, and managed a slick pass to Olli, only to have the puck snatched out of the air by Montague. Chants of Saint filled Madison Square Garden again. Saint, Saint, Saint. When he saw Panarin jump the boards, he fell in at Sirius’ shoulder.

“It’s not working up high.”

Trocheck followed Panarin, and then—

“Tremz’ll know if you go low.” Sirius was chewing on his mouthguard, eyes on where Logan was skating towards the face-off circle—towards Finn. “He’ll block. If he’s not shooting, he likes getting up in the crease to protect the goal.”

“We’ll have to try and get him unmatched from the Panarin line, surprise him. Their guys seem to like Lo and him together.”

Sirius nodded as they turned back to the face-off. “Try to trap him in the corners, maybe the others will go for a change.”

Sirius bent across from Trocheck, and Finn—well, he stopped for a minute. He had known what would happen just now, but he hadn’t realized exactly what this would mean, facing Logan’s line. He looked right into those familiar green eyes. They hadn’t been this close all night, and now Finn leaned forward, skate braced against Logan’s, snug shoulder-to-shoulder. Distract.

“Sorry, what’s your name again?” Finn said, and pretended to look back at Logan’s jersey. “Huh. Can’t pronounce that. I’ll just have to call you seventy-one.”

Logan suppressed a smile but said nothing. He kept his eyes forward, but there was a blush to the back of his neck.

And there are the old teammates. Chatting it up—well, O’Hara is, anyway.

“Seventy-one,” Finn said, mockingly thoughtful. “Got the last pick, eh? The dregs?”

“Harzy,” Logan said in a low voice.

“Hey, remember earlier today when we made out?”

That made Logan look at him, eyes pleased and fiery, just as the ref dropped the puck. Logan cursed and gave Finn a nice, hard shove, but not before Finn got the puck from Sirius and sent it up the boards. That was as good as a starting gun for Logan, and Finn gave chase. He saw his chance and took it. He pushed through one hard stride, then another, before pinning Logan not too softly against the boards, the puck trapped between both of their skates.

“Hi there, Tremblay,” Finn breathed, mouth perfectly positioned against Logan’s neck.

He knew Logan could feel his breath there, especially when he let out a frustrated noise low in his throat, and tried to shove back against Finn, free up the puck, but Finn fought right back.

“This? You want this?” Finn groaned as Logan shoved an elbow back against his ribs. “Oh, ouch, what was that for? Thought you loved me.”

“Finn,” Logan said through his teeth. The crowd was beginning to get restless and loud, but Finn just wanted to smile. He couldn’t help that they were matched for strength, that they could predict each other’s every move.

“Never felt you fight me like this before, huh?” Finn made a try for the puck but Logan’s broad shoulders edged in front of him again, making him have to switch to his other side. He could feel Logan’s sweat against him from the damp curls of his hair peaking out from his helmet, taste the salt of it. It was all him.

Logan let out a low groan of effort again and finally knocked the puck free. Both of them dived for it, only to find Remus there, snatching it up, tapping it to Thomas, back to Remus, back to Finn to tapped it in a quick east-west to Remus who pulled his stick back for a slap-shot—it rattled off the crossbar and into the Rangers’ net.

Finn put his arms up with a shout and Remus turned towards him, pointing his glove at him.

“Yeah, Harz!” Remus grinned as they crashed together, Thomas putting one hand on each of their helmets.

“Having fun in the corners there, Finnegan?” Thomas said.

“Very much so. Gonna get an earful for it later, though.” Finn laughed as he skated down the bench to tap gloves with his teammates, receiving a slap on the helmet from Coach as he used the gate to get into the bench. He glanced up and caught green eyes staring at him for just a second.

“My boyfriend loves those,” Finn said quietly to himself. “My boyfriend reads those.”

Wow, all smiles from O’Hara. Certainly pleased with himself over that goal.

Finn looked down the ice at Leo, and he couldn’t really see his eyes, but he could tell that Leo was looking back by the slow, exasperated and fond shake of his head.

“You say something?” Evgeni asked from beside him.

Finn pointed to Leo. “My boyfriend’s the goaltender for the Gryffindor Lions.”

Evgeni made a face, brown eyes confused. “Harzy, I’m know this?”

Finn just smiled, letting out a long breath. “I know. I just wanted to say it someone.”

~

Logan sat back in his stall with his eyes closed.

“How you doing, kid?” Alex’s voice said.

“I’m a little…fluttered.”

“You’re…fluttered?”

“I think I said it wrong.”

“Flustered?”

Logan rubbed at his eyes, then laughed. “I guess. Turned on feels closer.”

Alex must have been drinking water because there was a snorting sound and then he was choking through a laugh. “Oh-kay. Okay, Tremblay, wow. Zero to one-hundred.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Alex laughed again, taking another sip of water. “I mean, keep in mind I believe you’re referring to my brother’s little clean hit, but don’t be sorry.”

“Huh,” Percy said from where he was re-lacing his skates. “I believe Finn was hoping it would be perceived as a bit more dirty, actually.”

Logan laughed. “Shut up.”

Logan felt easier in this locker room. Part of him worried it was only due to the mere proximity of the Lions, of Leo and Finn, of Sirius and Pascal. He had been living without the promise of see you tonight and he still got sad going home to an empty apartment. But he liked this team. They were kind and tight-knit. They pushed each other and uplifted each other. Even the quiet, somber ones like Luke—though, Logan guessed he could be considered a quiet and, sometimes, somber one himself.

He stood up. “They’re starting on the power play, which is dangerous.”

Percy put up his hands. “I didn’t trip Nadeau. Fucking refs.”

“Cap—uh.” Logan shook his head, threw his jersey back over his head so he’d miss any second looks he got for that. “Black is probably really fired up so. Dangerous around the net. Whether you tripped him or not.”

“So?” Alex said. “You’ve got a slapper that can go the distance.”

“Non, they’ll expect that. They’ll put Walker right in front of it.”

“Hm.” Alex stood, too, throwing his shoulder pads on over his bare chest and beginning to smooth the velcro.

“Well,” Percy said. “You know Knut better than any of us. We’ve watched tape, but…”

That brought Logan up short. He looked over at Percy, his fair hair wild from drying sweat.

“What?” he asked, though he’d heard him.

“What’ll work?” Percy asked, like it was obvious.

Logan opened his mouth, but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What’ll work against Leo? He knew, obviously, but…

“Five-hole.”

They all looked over at Saint, who had spoken—who rarely spoke between periods usually. He was sitting in his stall beside Luke, cold towel around his neck.

“He’s tall,” Saint continued. “Long legs, he can’t get down as quickly as he always should. But he’s good with his hands, he’ll snatch anything glove-side right out of the air.” He looked over at Logan, eyes knowing. You can’t do this, so I’m doing it for you. “He’s been doing it all night. But so have I.”

Logan couldn’t keep his eyes off Leo. The way he came back out for the third, marking up the freshly smoothed blue paint in front of his goal with precise, measured strides. He was all the way at the other end of the rink, but Logan had a feeling Leo was watching him, too. When Leo came to the bench for a full water bottle before the first puck drop, Logan saw that he was right.

Logan almost didn’t want to look over. Finn had caused enough of a stir in him. But he couldn’t help it. He found Leo’s blue eyes. He had his mask up.

Hi, Logan saw Leo mouth.

Logan bit his lip. “Hi.”

Then Leo reached into his jersey, brought out a necklace, and kissed it. With a start, Logan realized it was his fleur-de-lis. He felt himself flush hot. He felt himself smile. He touched the place on his own chest where the pendant had once rested. Leo smiled, pulled his mask down over his face, pointed two fingers at his own eyes, then at Logan.

Logan recognized the challenge.

Ha! A little message from Leo Knut there. We’ll see if Tremblay rises to the bait and evens out this game.

They had been right about the power play. Sirius was buckling down and fierce. Logan felt the same. Any hyper-awareness that he’d had about playing against his old team faded to the back of his mind. Muscle memory took over. He didn’t hit—he didn’t think he could bring himself to really let that go—but their faces blurred and the Gryffindor red could have been Detroit’s. After each shift, he barely wanted to sit on the bench.

He found himself shoulder to shoulder with Finn again, determined not to give into him this time. Determined to maybe feed him a bit of his own fire.

“Do you remember,” Logan began. “That first summer we spent in New York together, and you read me those books?”

Finn smiled. “Ha, you can’t get me. Alex already told me. Ha-ha.”

Logan kept his eyes ahead. “I think I was already in love with you.”

Logan had the puck on his stick before Finn could even close his mouth.

Oh man, this is what Tremblay’s famous for, Dean. As fast backwards as he is forward and—those feet. One of the best skaters in the league. He passes to Morgan, Morgan to Panarin—the magnetism! Wow, back to Tremblay, over to Marshall, narrowly avoiding O’Hara on his way down the ice, Tremblay, back to Marshall, back to—Oh! And he scores! Tremblaaay!

Oh, what a look on Tremblay’s face! That’s bliss, man. That’s bliss!

Logan slammed up into the glass with a shout, Percy just behind him.

“What a pass!” Logan managed to say from beneath Percy’s glove all but trying to smother his face.

“Like old times, eh?” Percy laughed, then turned to call to Finn. “Eh, O’Hara! Owe you one, you fucking beauty!”

Finn waved him off, but the gesture did draw Logan’s eyes to Leo. He was tracing the blue paint with his stick, like he always did after a puck got past him, head down, trying to re-focus. Logan knew that this was normal for him, but that didn’t make the twinge of guilt in his gut any better. He had, for the first time, been the one to cause that look on Leo’s face. Leo was hard on himself. Logan knew this from many sleepless nights spent with him. The fact that it was Logan who had scored…he knew that didn’t make it easier for Leo.

And even still. A certain triumph. Leo. He’d gotten one past Leo.

But the victory didn’t last. No more than four minutes later, Finn and Remus were like hounds on the ice. Logan had almost forgotten. They were playing for the playoffs. Remus squeezed one in beneath Saint’s left pad with three minutes to go, and then Finn, nearly swiping Alex’s feet out from under him in the process, pulled the Lions ahead of the tie for a clean win. A clinch. They were two play-off teams now.

Logan was happy for them. He wondered if they would get to meet each other in the first round, depending on who the wild card ended up being. But Logan couldn’t watch them all celebrate on the ice, piling against Finn by the glass, gloves on the ice. That, he couldn’t quite do.

~

Remus could feel the happiness coming off of Sirius. They had done it. They were going to the play-offs. Sirius had even been almost receptive when the reporters had surrounded him in his stall. He’d even forgone his baseball hat that usually kept his eyes shaded and unreadable. Remus had had a bit of a moment, watching him push his sweat-drenched hair out of his bright eyes, answering questions in English, then a few in French.

“Thank you, Sirius,” a few of the writers had said, and then Sirius had smiled with a merci.

Remus joined him by the fridge that held sports drinks and water. He nudged their shoulders together. “Merci.”

“Shh,” Sirius said. He sent Remus a smile, though, pressed a kiss to his temple.

Finn’s parents were at the game, of course to watch both of their sons play. Remus had only met them a handful of times, but the energy they brought with them into the room was classic. Remus could practically smell the early morning practices, alarm clocks and high school locker rooms and jerseys on clothing hangers in stalls.

“How you doing, kid?” Finn’s mom grinned, pressing a hard kiss to Finn’s cheek and rubbing his back. “What a game. Almost a hatty. How’d it feel?”

Finn’s dad, Ramsey—a tall man with the O’Hara’s soft brown eyes and a handsome face with tortoise-shell glasses—rubbed a hand through Finn’s hair. Remus could tell he’d been doing that since Finn had only come up to his knees. “So weird to see Logan in blue.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. He still had his arm tightly around his mom’s shoulders, and his knuckles looked like he was really holding onto her. If Remus didn’t know better, he’d say there was a bit of emotion in Finn’s voice. He thought of what Alex had told him. My boyfriend reads those. He thought of how long Finn had been waiting for a sentence like that from Logan. “Yeah. It was weird, but it was good. See Alex yet?”

“Not yet, came to you first,” Ramsey said. “Al said he was gonna come down here to you, anyway. Oh, Leo—” Ramsey smiled at Leo as he came to Finn’s shoulder, and held out his arms. “What a fucking game, man. Hot hands on you.”

Leo accepted the hug and the slap on the back, then pointedly ignored Finn’s exaggerated look at his hands. “Thank you.”

“Aw, Leo,” Haley put her hands on his cheeks. “You’re looking good. I’m so glad, you boys are looking so good, I was…I was worried there.” Then her eyes caught on someone behind Leo and Remus looked to see. “Kasey Winter, what the hell are you standing all the way over there for? I see those shy eyes of yours looking at me.”

Kasey came over in his usual, almost sheepish way. Remus felt a pang go through him, thinking back to seeing that expression just over an hour ago, trying to be strong.

“How you doing?” She had her hands on his face like she had with Leo. “You okay?”

“I’m okay.” Kasey nodded.

“Hm.” Her eyes went over his face. “You know Alexander never shuts up about you.”

“I don’t think I shut up about him, either.” Kasey’s eyes went to Remus’ for a moment. “At least not in my head.”

“Good.”

Remus smiled. He looked over at Sirius. He had been going to ask if they were joining the others at the bar, but the look on Sirius’ face stopped him in his tracks. He was staring at the O’Hara family, grey eyes without walls. It was such a rare sight that Remus reached out for him without thinking, put his hand on Sirius’. Sirius blinked, watched Haley O’Hara lean up for Finn to whisper something in her ear, watched the way she put her hand over her heart and looked up at her son with that heart written all over her face.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said. “I just—wonder sometimes. About—I mean, if I had had…”

“I know.” Remus rubbed his thumb over Sirius’ knuckles.

Sirius squeezed his hand before clearing his throat and standing, reaching for his shirt.

“Hello, mon fils.” And Pascal was there suddenly, arm going around Sirius’ shoulders, squeezing tightly. “Going out with the boys?”

Sirius swallowed, leaned into Pascal a little, then nodded. “Ouais, we’re going.”

Remus thought about what he’d said to Kasey. They were all so young. And he suddenly wanted his family there. He wanted to see Julian for more than a few weekends a year and a month and a half in the summers. He had an almost aching want for a family with Sirius. And everything, all the time that came with that. It knocked his gaze unsteady for a moment. He looked at James, who was on the phone with Lily, one AirPod in and laughing as he did up his game suit tie.

“Put him on,” James was saying. “Harry totally knows what icing means, Lils!”

Remus smiled and reached for his towel to dry his hair one more time, only the room erupted around him. Logan and Alex had walked in. Alex immediately ran at Finn, dodging around his parents to put his little brother into a headlock.

“Ugh, Alex—” Finn scrabbled at Alex’s grip. “No—Mom.”

“Alexander, release your brother, he won fair and square.”

Leo, who had his arms around Logan, laughed as Logan imitated Finn. “Mom.”

“Ooh, it’s Tremblay,” Evgeni said, knocking Logan’s hat down over his eyes as he passed by, already dressed. “Big bad Ranger boy. We smush you. Smush.”

Jackson, behind him, righted his hat with a pat. “See you at the bar? What’s it called—uh, something-something?”

“Sure,” Alex called, still with a fighting Finn under his arm. “I’ll have Logan put it in the group chat.”

“Finn reached up to wack blindly at Alex’s face. “C’mon, man.”

Finally, laughing, Alex released him and accepted a hug from his mother. With access to Finn now, Logan gave him a shove.

“You fucker.”

“Tremblay,” Alex said, arm around Haley. “Language around my mother.”

Haley scoffed. “Oh, please.”

Remus laughed with the room just as his phone started ringing. A photo of Julian’s nostrils popped up beneath his name and Remus shook his head.

“When did you do that…” he muttered to himself, and then answered. “Hey, bud.”

“Such a good game! And—so weird that Tremzy? But like so cool to see him and Finn, like, like—battle for it. And also good goal! With Harzy. Really pretty.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” his mother’s voice came. “Oh, yes, we just went wild!”

“Hey, thanks,” Remus smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty weird.” He glanced over to where Finn had his hands up in surrender still, half talking, half laughing as Logan spoke a mile-a-minute in French.

“I wanna talk to Sirius,” Julian said matter-of-factly.

“Ooh, yes, put Sirius on for a moment. I have a wedding idea.”

“That you can’t tell me?”

“It’s about you! Hand him over!”

Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled as he nudged the phone at Sirius. “Jules and my mother demand your attention.”

Sirius looked down from where he had finished up half the buttons of his shirt, eyes going happy. “Give it.” He wedged the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he finished the buttons. “Ça va, Jules? Avez-vous regardé le match?”

Remus felt all warm inside at how slowly he spoke. Julian had started learning French in school, and Remus could hear his OUI! from where he was.

Sirius smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as he listened to them.

See? Remus mouthed, and Sirius just reached out to stroke through the wet hair at the base of his neck. Remus leaned into it and listened for a few moments as Sirius replied to whatever Julian or his mother was saying. Soft hums and sounds of agreement until he finally said, with a wicked grin at Remus, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

Remus flicked him in the ribs.

“Non, not flying home,” Sirius said. “We’re going to hang out with Logan and some of the Rangers because we miss him.”

“I heard that!” Logan called over.

“Just a little!” Sirius called back, then held the phone in his hand, suit jacket over his arm. “Okay, Jules. Okay, I’ll tell him. Good night.” He laughed. “Yes, I know. Okay. Okay. Ouais, okay.” Remus put a palm to his forehead, shaking his head as Sirius tried to hid his laugh. “Okay, yes. Got it. Ouais, promise. Okay. Okay, night.”

Sirius handed the phone back to Remus. “I don’t want him to grow up any more.”

Remus sighed and accepted Sirius’ gentle kiss. “Me neither.”

~

The bar was loud and dim, with seemingly endless worn booths and many pool tables— also, everyone seemed to know Alex. The bartenders, two middle-aged women in black tank-tops and a sun and moon tattoo on their upper left arms that had to go together, each gave him long, hard hugs. Kasey, too, which Remus shouldn’t have been surprised about. The walls were plastered with photographs of the two women with different players—Rangers and otherwise. Above the bar was a great big sign: No Autographs, No Pictures. If We See A Flash—You’re OUT!

Remus smiled. He could see why Alex liked it here. Public, but no where they’d be mobbed should it come to that.

“I guess you’ve been coming here a long time,” Sirius said, coming to Kasey’s shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, Cap. Since the old days.”

“My Lord,” one of the women said—thick braided hair that was died pink at the ends and tied back in a long twist. She had soft eyes, russet-brown skin, and she stood tall like a dancer. “Kasey Winter, you have brought Sirius Black into my bar. Finally.”

Kasey just laughed and tapped Sirius’ chest. “Sirius, meet Holly, and that’s her wife Jude over there.” He nodded towards a woman with a blond pixie cut and green eyes that were almost as startling as Logan’s. She stood with one hand in her back pocket, pale skin covered in various tattoos. She was laughing at something Evgeni was saying before replying in Russian.

Remus thought Sirius looked a little overwhelmed by it all. He drew his gaze away from the surprisingly big space and towards Holly with one of his shyer smiles. “Nice to meet you.”

She laughed, a contagious thing. “You really are a formal one.”

Kasey rolled his eyes. “Not really.” He reached around Sirius to put a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “This is Remus.”

“Hi there,” Remus said. “This is an amazing place you’ve got here.”

“Oh, thank you, darling.” She reached over the bar and put her hand on Remus’. “You know, my wife grew up in your hometown. We followed your story all through college. We were so sorry when that nasty Grayback…He should have been banned from the League a long time ago. God, and then everything with that fucking Snake team. And I know we don’t know each other but we feel a lot of pride about you.” She gave a hard nod.

That nasty Grayback. Remus had never actually heard anyone blame him before. “I—oh. Wow.”

“I’m proud, too.” Sirius’ arm found his waist and Remus was so, so grateful.

“Sharmall.” Remus jumped a little at a very much higher-pitched version of Finn’s voice.

“A’Horo,” came the response from Percy Marshall, already standing with Alex and Will Morgan at a pool table.

Remus watched as Finn, coming in with Logan and Leo, all but launched himself at Percy, and he couldn’t have deciphered the noises that came out of their mouths if he wanted to.

“You fucking M&M! Fucking snack!” Percy held Finn’s face between his hands. “Treat you a two? A three? Crack the egg.”

Finn shook him by the shoulders. “Fuckin’ crack it.”

“Do you…understand this?” Remus asked Logan, who was greeted by Holly by a very loving and rather comforting hand on his cheek.

Logan was just shaking his head. “Yes. Only because I was there.”

“And?” Leo asked, looking just as bewildered as Remus.

“They’re going to have beers,” Logan said. “And they’re saying hello.”

Leo blinked. “I—okay.”

“I told you,” Logan said. “They’re crazy together.” He sighed, smile exasperated, and looked to Holly. “Hi, Hol. Sorry about them.”

“Oh, we’ve seen worse.” She held up her hands and poured Logan a drink—quick shot of rum, crack of a coke bottle. “Sorry about the loss, honeybee.” Her eyes moved to Leo. “And don’t I know who this is. Congrats on the win.”

Logan accepted the drink with a smile, and put his arm around Leo’s waist. “This is my boyfriend. Leo.”

Remus watched the way Leo’s expression caught, surprise and something so bright that Remus could barely look at it.

Holly pressed her lips together in a smile. “Hi, sweetheart. Can I pour you something? I can’t tell. All thought I couldn’t tell with Tremblay here, either. Jude googled him—ha!”

Leo nodded, hand going to his wallet. “I can—do you want…”

“I believe you.” She cracked the cold bottle from the fridge that Sirius has asked for. “Some of the older boys try to bring in the rookies sometimes. They know they can’t get passed us, though.”

Remus turned to look up at Sirius while the others moved onto the game from that night. Sirius shuffled him down the bar a little ways before tapping a stool for Remus to sit on so that they were eye-to-eye.

“Okay?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Yeah, totally.” Sirius looked at him and Remus smiled, put a hand on his chest. “I really am. I promise. It just—his name takes me off guard. I was surprised—most people just go sorry about the hit, not—you know. Not like he meant it. Not like—I know no one knows what really…happened. But it was nice to hear someone get close.”

Remus took a breath, realized he was rambling. He rolled his shoulder a little. It would never move quite in the way it used to, scar tissue and stress, but he was lucky.

Sirius nodded quietly. “Ouais. I see.”

Remus straightened, smiling when he saw Evgeni hurtling towards them, pushing right through Finn and Percy to do it.

“Hey, Kuns,” Remus said.

“Loops.” Evgeni put his hands up, one holding a beer. Who knew where his jacket was but his tie was barely hanging onto his neck and his shirt was unbuttoned almost all the way, showing some of his tattoos. “The party is me.”

Remus raised his eyebrow, but nodded. “Sure is.”

“Cap,” Finn said, tugging Evgeni’s tie up to catch over his face. “Percy insists I introduce you properly, whatever the hell that means.”

“Hello.” Percy looked star-struck as he shook Sirius’ hand. “Sir.”

Remus tried to bite back a smile but Finn snorted. “Perc, what the fuck.”

Percy was pink around his ears. “Hello, not sir.”

Sirius just smiled wryly. “Hi…”

“I love you,” Percy said plainly.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Finn put an arm around Percy’s shoulders to steer him away. “And you’re not even drunk, I forgot how fucking weird you are.” He pressed a sloppy kiss to Percy’s temple. “Fuckin’ M&M.”

“Kit-Kat.”

“Jolly Rancher.”

Remus hid his laugh in Sirius’ chest, where he felt the rumble of Sirius’ own. Sirius’ palm came up to cover the back of Remus’ neck, thumb stroking gently.

“Loup,” Sirius said softly beneath the music playing. “Something made you sad earlier, though.”

“What? Oh. Yeah,” Remus smiled a little, pleased at the way Sirius was pressing so close. “I can’t actually say. It’s not about me.” His eyes went to Kasey. “You’ll know soon.” Sirius’ eyes followed his. “You probably already do.”

Sirius looked for a long time. Alex and Kasey, sitting snug in a booth together, looking like they were having a soft, earnest conversation. Kasey might have been crying a little, but they were laughing, too, and Alex touched their foreheads together.

“Ouais…” Sirius said finally.

Remus smoothed his hands up Sirius’ chest, around to clasp behind his neck. “I like this. I like us all together again.”

He looked at Pascal, Thomas, and Leo, standing and watching Finn, Will, and Logan saying something that sounded like it was about Harvard. Percy was beside Leo, seemingly whispering extra details into his ear.

“Speaking of sad earlier,” Remus said, and tilted Sirius’ face back towards his own. “I saw you watching the O’Hara’s—or A’Horo’s now, I guess.” Sirius half smiled, thumb still tracing lines down Remus’ neck. “Our families are yours. Especially mine. Okay? All of us…even some fucking Rangers.”

Sirius barely had time to smile when, as if on cue, Holly announced the arrival of a few more.

“Saint Montague,” she said, voice somehow carrying over it all. “Get your ass over here, sweetheart.”

“Monty!” Percy called as Saint came in, followed close by Luke Deveaux, whose eyes went immediately to Sirius and Remus, tangled up.

Saint put a palm up to Percy. “Nope.”

Percy let out something close to a cackled ha! and turned back to Leo.

Saint was really something to behold, Remus had to admit—by Sirius’ face, he could tell Sirius had to admit it, too. He had tan skin and hair that had been streaked blond—it was a strange cross between angelic and something akin to punk. Remus caught Sirius’ eye, whose mouth quirked. They watched as Holly clasped his hand, saying his drink was on the house—sorry about the game, darling, I know how you hate to lose.

Saint gave off an air of arrogance that should have dulled the effect. His chin tilted like he knew just how good he was. But it didn’t dull anything. Especially not when his light, liquid sun eyes looked Remus up and down once. “Lupin.”

“Montague.”

His eyes flicked to Sirius with a challenging little smirk. “Black.”

Sirius only nodded. Saint’s eyes went back to Remus.

“Pretty little things you do on that ice.”

Remus arched a brow. “Thanks…Good game.”

“It was fine. I’ve had better.”

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered.

Remus glanced up at him and Sirius huffed, but only took a drink of his beer.

Saint just smiled, then looked back at Luke as he called Holly over again. “You want something, Tweedle?”

Luke simply nodded and came to his side, leaning against the bar and watching Saint’s profile as he ordered for the both of them. Sirius glanced at Remus again. Remus would do anything for Sirius to keep sending him those little silent communication looks.

Be nice, Remus mouthed.

“You know,” Saint said, turning to Sirius. “Your boy was pretty wrecked when he first got here.” He looked towards Logan.

Sirius blinked. “Logan’s trade was a surprise.”

“Yeah, even we can agree to that,” Saint nodded. “But all I’m saying to you is that…” Saint hesitated. He looked down at Luke, then back to Sirius. “He’s doing okay now.”

“I know.”

“We’re good people.”

“Never said you weren’t.”

Saint laughed and rolled his eyes before throwing an arm around Luke’s shoulders and steering him away. “So stop looking at us like we’re just a bunch of Rangers! Oh—” He looked over his shoulder. “But we are going to have to do something about him calling you Captain all the time in our room.”

“No deal,” Sirius said.

Saint laughed again, but turned away.

“Meanie, Captain.” Remus smiled, knocking his knuckles lightly into Sirius’ arm.

“I love Logan,” Sirius said in a low voice, taking a drink. “But we are still hanging out with a bunch of Rangers.”

“What do you want, Tremz?” Remus heard Finn call from across the bar. “Another round, I’m buying.”

“You know what I want!”

“Bleh, sugar-water,” Finn said, then grabbed Leo’s hand and pulled him between the tables. Leo barely had time to let Logan take his drink from his hand and send a laugh over his shoulder. Finn spun Leo around a few times before settling his hands on Leo’s hips and resting him against the bar, murmuring something gentle to him. Remus smiled at Leo’s smile.

“Do you think they’re going to be okay?”

Remus looked up at Sirius, who had something akin to his game face on—maybe a little more worried.

“We were okay.”

“Yes.”

“And we’re okay now.”

Sirius looked down at him. He was biting at the inside of his cheek. “Yes.”

“Yes.” Remus reached up and stroked a thumb over the taut cheek until Sirius relaxed. “They’re getting to choose.”

“That doesn’t mean everything’s going to be in their control.”

“They know that, I think.”

Sirius nodded. “Ouais…”

“Cap!”

They looked up at Logan’s voice—met Saint’s pointed look on the way—and watched Logan wave at him, standing with Pascal.

“Come here. I want you in this photo.”

“Oh, of the night we beat you?” Sirius called back, but he was smiling, slipping out of Remus’ arms. Remus just shook his head and watched him go. “I thought we weren’t allowed photos?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but we’re the ones taking them.” He gave Sirius’ suit jacket a tug, surprising Sirius into one of his real smiles, so that Percy could snap the picture.

Everyone seemed reluctant to leave—reluctant to have enough drinks to risk a hungover flight or practice tomorrow, but reluctant to leave all the same. Neither Holly or Jude seemed to mind that they all ended up just sitting around a pool table, rolling some of the balls back and forth across the felt mindlessly and laughing much too loudly, though the bar was emptying out.

It stirred a fond memory from college for Remus—something that didn’t happen often. It even included Grayback. Something that happened even less. There had been a blizzard, power out, locked down in their team houses, four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each, and with a mission to drink the cold beer before it got warm.

Remus looked around from his place settled between Sirius and Thomas. Evgeni was trying to tell a story that was half in Russian and Jackson was giving what was sure to be a very wrong translation until Saint finally raised a finger and said he spoke Russian. This resulted in a very sloppy kiss on his cheek from Evgeni. Luke might have scooted Saint’s chair a little closer to himself.

Logan and Finn had Leo between them, touches casual and happy. Percy and Will had had the table in fits telling Harvard stories, and Kasey had actually put his full, large palm over Alex’s mouth to stop him from telling an old story from them being on the Rangers together.

It felt like a family. And Remus had had that feeling in college. A sickish wave of fear washed over him then. He didn’t want now to feel like then, promising that anything could go horribly wrong. He looked at Sirius, but he was turned away, talking to Alex. Remus shifted, wished he had some water. Remus felt a nudge from his right.

“Heyo,” Thomas said softly. “What’s up?”

Remus shook his head. “Nothing.” He smiled. Took a breath. “Nothing. I just…I love this.”

“Hurts sometimes, huh?”

Remus huffed out a relieved laugh. “Yeah. Exactly, T.”

Thomas put an arm around his shoulders, across the back of his chair. “I got you, Loops. We all got you.”

From his other side, Sirius kept talking to Alex, but he seemed to hear. He put his hand on Remus’ knee, warm and familiar.

“Ooh, I took his spot,” Thomas mock-whispered, and Remus laughed.

“No,” Remus said. He felt more grounded. He would enjoy this. He was enjoying this. “You stay right where you are.”

~

Logan had watched how close Finn held Leo, hands on his hips. Their heads ducked together, cheek to cheek. Right there in the middle of the crowd. Each time he had looked over, Logan had gotten different views. Finn saying something, Leo’s eyes closing as he laughed, Finn ducking to press a soft kiss to Leo’s neck. Leo sending him a wink over Finn’s shoulder, Finn grinning at him over Leo’s.

And then Leo had leaned into Logan’s side, ducked down to whisper in his ear. Take us home.

God, this place, his New York apartment, called home in Leo’s voice.

Now, Logan kept Finn close, his back against Finn’s chest as they leaned against his kitchen counter to watch Leo open his fridge, and let out a long sigh at the empty shelves.

“Oh, Tremblay. Tremblay, Tremblay, Tremblay.” He picked up an unopened bottle of ketchup and stared at it sadly. “As my mama would say, this is just asking for trouble.”

“I’m sorry?” Logan said.

“What are you eating?”

“At the rink.”

“We’ve FaceTimed, though! You bought stuff! I walked around the grocery store in your hand, they have the lettuce you like and everything.”

“Ouais…I do better when you give me really good instructions.”

Leo sent him a bland look around the door. “You need really good instructions to buy lettuce?”

“I make egg and ham sandwiches?”

Leo turned to the stove where there was still evidence of said sandwich on a spatula and pan. He made a face. “Remind me to get you a spoon rest.”

“Okay,” Logan laughed, and then tilted his head to the side to give Finn more room where he was beginning to kiss his neck.

“Kitchen looks good, though. From what I was expecting.” Leo opened a few barren cupboards and made a hmm noise.

“But I hang the towels up,” Logan said, and Finn’s answering snicker washed over his skin warmly. “And, regarde, the key bowl. By the door.”

“You don’t even have your tea,” Leo’s frowned was actually concerned now. “Lo.”

“I don’t know,” Logan sighed. He tucked himself back against Finn more. “It’s not…”

But what did he want to say? It’s not the same? That’s for at home. But this was supposed to be his home.

“It’s okay, baby,” Finn said softly, pressing gentle kisses to his jaw that bled into one another, into his words, too.

“No,” Leo said. “No, this is his home, Finn. I want him to have the things he likes here.” Leo looked over at them, and his expression softened. Finn held out his hand for him, and Leo took it, letting Finn pull him in, peppering his jaw in those same kisses. Leo smiled, hands going to thread in both Logan and Finn’s hair.

“I did have it. At one point. I guess I just…” Logan took a breath, and Finn when to speak but Leo put a hand over his mouth, making them all laugh. Logan sighed and knocked his forehead against Leo’s chest. “If I don’t have too many things, then it’s not…” 

“I get it,” Leo said, and then released Finn and bent to press a soft kiss to his mouth. “They should call you Talker.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Finn said. “But Leo’s right. This should feel homey. Otherwise why would we come and visit?”

Logan scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs.

“Ouch, Tremblay.”

“Oh, non. Don’t even get me started again on the ice today.” Logan rolled his eyes.

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Blame Coach.”

Leo snorted. “Oh, Coach told you pin Lo up all hot and heavy?”

Finn just grinned. “I’d call it being willing to play the corners, but you can call it whatever you like, Nutter-Butter.”

Leo just shook his head, laughing. “C’mon. I want out of this fucking suit.”

“That can be arranged.” Finn looked down at Logan as Leo wandered towards Logan’s bedroom, peaking none too subtly into the bathroom on his way. Finn tugged on Logan’s tie. “Sorry. I should let you talk.”

“Don’t be,” Logan said. “You’re still not used to it.” He smiled. “Me neither.”

Finn laughed. “Guess so. Come on. Show me the Tremblay Chamber.”

“Stop with the last name,” Logan laughed, but took his hand and pulled him up from the counter. “Makes it feel like you’re still on the other team.”

“Logan,” Finn said in his ear, still close to his back as they walked. “Lolo.”

“Non.”

He dropped to a whisper. “Lo, baby.”

Logan just glanced at him, biting back a smile.

“Yeah, you like that.” Finn’s voice was cocky as they pushed the bedroom door open to find Leo seeming to be checking Logan’s lightbulbs on his bedside tables. “Okay, Leonardo. What is happening.”

“These pre-furnished places come with harsh lights sometimes! Like the cool toned ones, like a hotel—” Leo ducked down to see beneath the shade. “Logan likes the yellower warm ones.”

Logan’s heart squeezed. “Le, the light’s fine.”

“No, they’re cool and you will just live with it. Okay, tea and lightbulbs.” Leo straightened, shrugging out of his suit jacket. “That’s my list so far. Oh, no, spoon rest. I should write this down.”

“No, you should sit down,” Finn said. He nodded towards the bed. “There, right there. Go on. Sit, and I’ll give you a fun surprise.”

Leo look suspicious, but he sat on the edge of Logan’s bed. Finn turned Logan around by his shoulders and walked him backwards until he fell back into Leo’s lap. Logan laughed, but rested his head back against Leo’s shoulder.

“A good surprise,” Leo said softly, and kissed the underside of Logan’s chin.

Finn lowered himself to one knee in front of Logan. “All this Rangers blue…” Finn tisked his tongue. He smoothed his hands up Logan’s thighs, the material of his suit catching against his fingers. “Even made it into your socks and tie.” Finn looked up at him. “That has Alex written all over it.”

Logan took a steadying breath. “He, um—took me to his tailor.”

“I bet he did.” Finn kissed the inside of his knee. “And he had to trace this inseam…” Finn’s mouth trailed up his strong thigh, hand against his knee. “Lucky human.”

Logan couldn’t help spreading his legs a little, eyes on Finn’s mouth. Leo adjusted behind him, feet tucked back and knees against Logan’s hips.

“It is a nice suit.” Leo’s hands went to the navy blue tie in question and gave it a little tug. “But I think we should take it off of him now.”

Finn’s hands went to Logan’s belt and he did a little whistle to the tune of it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas as slid the leather free from its buckle.

Logan let out a soft laugh, leaning back into Leo as he slid the tie out from around his throat. “Shh.”

The nights were lonely. Logan always felt himself as the lone weight in his bed acutely, like he was sinking into it. It had been even been worse in his dorm bed, at Harvard. Narrow space, no room for anyone but him. He’d curled into himself, back against the window with the rattling AC. Finn, oceans away on the other side of the room, breathing and shifting and talking until neither of them could keep their eyes open. Laughing too loud and Percy banging on his ceiling to get them to shut up.

And then Finn’s bed, in his parents’ New York brownstone. Bigger. Stepping over the air mattress on the floor in the morning. Him and Leo sharing a hotel room on the road, each with their own double bed. Wishing so hard to throw off his own covers and just—just climb in and close those inches of ugly hotel carpet between them, sleep turned into Leo’s chest instead of trying to block out the blaring red numbers of the clocks on their respective bedside tables.

And now there was this. Leo behind him, unbuttoning his shirt from his shoulders like it was some sacred rite. Finn coaxing him into lifting his hips off of the bed, the jingle of his belt hitting the floor. Hot mouth around him, Leo’s fingers against his ribs, mouth on his neck, the weight of Finn’s elbows pressing into the mattress around him.

“Got one past me tonight,” Leo said in his ear. “You know I don’t let things like that go.”

Finn’s mouth was replaced by his hot cheek on his thigh as he laughed, breathless. “I thought no hockey in bed.”

The pillows behind Logan’s neck felt cool and gentle when they lay him back against them. He didn’t have to ask to watch them shed their clothes, too. And when Finn eased him back when he tried to help with his buttons, his large hands pressing against his chest, Logan thought of the boards. Finn pressed up against him, Leo all the way on the other side of the ice, what if I closed the distance? That thought that had circled in his mind a million times, for both of them. What if I came to them?

Finally, he had.

“Hold me,” Logan said, breath shaky through the words.

Leo just smiled into their next kiss, unbuttoning his own shirt. “We are.”

“Non.” Logan took Finn’s hand that was cradling the side of his neck and moved it down a little, to the front of his chest so that the V between Finn’s thumb and forefinger was settled just over where his collarbones dipped apart in the center, where Finn could feel his pounding heart. Finn’s lips were wet and parted as he watched Logan put his own hand over Finn’s and press down on his chest, watched his eyes go hooded with it.

Finn’s expression did a complicated thing. He applied a little pressure of his own, barely even at all, but Logan felt it in his chest, let his eyes close with it. It was good. It meant they were there.

He put his fingers around Finn’s wrist and guided his hand down more firmly.

“Ah.” Finn grinned, eyes going to Leo who had made another hmm noise, not dissimilar to his one from the kitchen. “I see.”

“I miss it. Please.” He used his feet to press Finn’s hips harder against his own and looked to Leo. “Please, I miss you so bad at night. I miss you so bad at night.”

“Aw, Tremz,” Leo said softly.

And just like that it was back. Tonight had been so happy. But reality was still in the room.

They didn’t let him linger in it. Leo’s kiss was short and sweet, hard enough to draw Logan to him as he pressed up all along Logan’s side. Leo let Logan guide his fingers carefully to where Finn’s were. He lay each one in the spaces between Finn’s, right over his heart. “We’re right here.”

Logan let out a harsh breath, tilting his chin back, giving Leo room. Leo leaned down and brushed his lips against Logan’s cheek. “Good?”

“Ouais, ouais—” Logan could barely stand that look in Leo’s eyes. It was as good as seeing the intensity of their blue through the mask. Better. “So good.”

Logan’s necklace glinted around Leo’s throat, pooled by their joined hands on Logan’s chest as Leo leaned over to kiss him.

“God, Lo, look at you,” Leo breathed, drawing Logan closer like he needed it. “Okay, maybe I’ll let the goal go. Was gonna make you wait for it but…just for tonight.”

“First kiss day,” Finn added, and Logan grinned into the next kiss he received.

The held him together, on either side, even when their hands made him feel like he was unraveling. Finn’s hand slipped away from his chest, down, down. Slick and fiery and steady, pulling his hips up in time with their movements like he couldn’t help it. The tension of the game melted away, right out of his muscles. Leo’s hand stayed right where it was, making his heart feel like it was pounding against something more than just himself, like it was trying to knock down whatever skin and bone was left between them. Logan didn’t remember locking his hand around Leo’s wrist, but he did, he held on even as Leo’s mouth bled any strength out of him, throat bared as Leo kissed him gentle and calm against the pile of pillows behind them.

He didn’t feel alone. It was such a relief.

When Finn got as close as he could, Logan was warm. Heavy against the sheets. Finn bent over Logan in a rush, arms scooping under Logan’s back this time, one pressing just above his ass, holding them together like he wanted to knock it all down, too.

Logan could only wrap his arm around Finn’s back in return, the other still locked on Leo. It brought Finn close, his stomach rubbing up against Logan’s cock perfectly, the scent of his sweat heavy on Logan’s tongue where his mouth was pressed into the hair that curled against Finn’s neck.

“Yeah, you like that,” Finn whispered gently, pressing a kiss to Logan’s jaw. “You like this, always have.” When Finn began to grind into him, it was shaky and needy. He barely pulled away at all, but Logan didn’t want him to. He opened his mouth against Finn’s skin, breathing hard, pressing his teeth into Finn’s skin gently to muffle the low sounds he was making.

“Leo,” Finn managed, voice tight, then at Logan’s teeth, laugh shaky. “Ouch, Lo.”

Leo laughed, too, smoothing Logan’s hand into his own and kissing his knuckles before ducking to get at Finn’s neck and shoulders, too. Logan caught his mouth in a sloppy kiss, trailed his hand down Leo’s chest until he could take him in hand.

“Did I mention you scored on me?” Leo’s brows drew together at the feeling, forehead resting on Finn’s should. “And—ah…I don’t forgive easily.”

“Ouais,” Logan said, voice sounding shot to his own ears. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Logan eased Finn off of him with a lingering kiss, a sigh at the loss, but Leo was plains and stretches of pale, bare skin flushed pink.

Logan had missed them, but they had missed him, too.

Logan straddled Leo’s hips, feeling how badly Leo wanted him, feeling the arch of Leo’s back as they pressed together. They kissed and kissed, Logan’s palms against Leo’s chest this time, then his neck and jaw, smoothing his hair back. He pushed his hips down again, and again until Leo was muttering urgent sounds and gripping his hip, keeping him still as he spilled needy and white between them.

Logan kissed over the sweat at his temple, lips parted in something between a smile, triumphant, and a need of his own. Finn was there, then, soothing the tremors in their bodies.

“I missed you, too,” Logan heard Finn murmur into Leo’s mouth.

Logan knew he would live in this moment until the next one like it came. It would be where he fell back to, when he needed something to weight him down and ground him, whenever the changes became too much. He couldn’t have said where he stopped and they began. He didn’t know the hours, he didn’t know the degree of light in the sky. He knew their skin, and their laughs, and brown and blue, red and yellow. Getting up in the pitch black just to come back and find both of them there. A memory for later, though it’d make him sad more than anything. He’d paused by the window, where the moon fell on them. He got up again to see the same sight in the blue light of the early morning. He just wanted the feeling of settling back in between them, their mindless sleepy hands finding him without trying. A glimpse of blue, Leo pulling him closer, who’s sleepless now? Finn, hearing their voices. His warm palms going around Logan’s wrists, pinning them above his head, hips settling together again, again, again.

Logan was tired, but not of this.

Leo, scrambling eggs at his stove, singing softly along to the music playing on his phone. Finn, sleepy at the counter, tennis ball beneath his foot, rolling out sore arches. Daylight. Logan left the room just so he could come back in and see them there.

He’d leave again, later, kissing them goodbye right there on the sunny sidewalk. He’d come back in to no one in his kitchen, the bed a mess. Practice in two hours. It was funny, as he stared at himself in the mirror brushing his teeth, how he looked so rested after no sleep. It wasn’t as funny how part of him had managed to convince himself that he was going to see them every night, like his body had needed to put that on a loop in his mind in order for him to enjoy it so much. But no, tomorrow they were just playing the Stars.

Twelve hours had barely passed than did Logan come home from a practice to find an express package waiting at his door, addressed in Leo’s handwriting. Inside was a box of his mint tea with a great big smiley face drawn on it in sharpie, and a set of lightbulbs. Logan smiled and set his kettle on.