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enihk-writes · 1 year ago

Text

[homecoming]

pairing: past!chung-myung x gn!they/them!reader

summary: the night before he leaves mount hua to subdue cheon-ma and the demonic cult, chung myung pays a visit to the small run-down shed at the edge of the village.

content warning: reader is implied to have depression stemming from their eventual disability due to internal injuries healing wrongly // reader is implied to have some minor form of age-related memory loss later in life // canon-compliant chung myung death from the opening of the novel

word count: 4.0k

author’s note: yea,,, so uh,,, i got hit with an angst-a-tron MK3500 at 10pm on like a monday night one(1) day before i have to go back to campus for my semester 2 classes.... this fic somehow ended up being a fucking monster longest fic i’ve ever written in my career 我的天啊。我发神经病了是吗？这么突然能够写的这么多字？我老师看到这个肯定会把我两个脚从我学校四楼 tie together and 丢我下去。

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

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the chatter in the bustling dining hall died down as he walked further and further away from the crowd and towards the sect gates.

past the open gates, he notices the older man with greying hair standing serenely, looking out at the nightscape and the village that surrounded the base of the mountain down below.

sa-hyung

when did that guy grow so old? he knew the sect leader was getting on in years but, looking at the crow’s feet crinkling from the smile his sa-hyung gave him, it’s just hard not to get sentimental, you know?

are you going to see them? the sect leader asks, a teasing, knowing tone in his voice. like he was aware of something chung myung wasn’t. it was a little annoying, but this was nothing he wasn’t used to at this point.

chung myung grunts, not really wanting to answer the sect leader’s questions. truthfully, it was a habit everyone around him knew about. no one ever asked him about his relationship with that person out-right though, they were smarter then that, and were rather happy to stay curious.

tomorrow's mission won’t be like any other. the sect leader muses, looking out again into the distance.

you should tell them.

chung myung looks at the sect leader incredulously, like the man had grown a second head and was speaking unhinged gibberish.

about what?

you know exactly what i’m talking about chung myung. i know you’re not daft. a deep belly-chuckle came from the good-natured sect leader, even as old men, he still wanted to tease the younger one.

chung myung stays silent. he would rather not confront the matters of his heart tonight. he will in due time, just not now. it was better for the both of them — that person, and himself.

the sect leader chuckles again at the other’s unusually quiet demeanor, turning to go back into the bustling dining hall.

it seems i’ve held you back long enough, run along and come back on time.

the younger man clicks his tongue, scratching his neck and looking away in embarrassment, he felt too seen by the elder then — but he still promised to return before morning. tomorrow was an important day for the sect and the world as a whole, after all.

at the base of the mountain was a forested path leading to a thriving town under mount hua’s protection, he walks past the crowds of villagers and noisy night-market vendors, further and further away until it was just the serene moon of méiyuè accompanying him to where he had promised he would be.

sure enough, right along the dirt path was the familiar shadow of the run down hut, almost shed, that person had taken to calling their home these past few years.

he thought about the day they left the sect. he remembers chasing after them to the gates, hoping he could get them to stay. he didn’t understand why they left back then, even now, he still couldn’t get their reasons.

how could you leave the home you’ve lived in all your life like this? he shouts at them in confusion and anger, maybe with a little sadness laced in it too.

their back looked small. tired. the weight of their debilitating condition heavy on their minds. there is no cure for a broken qi core, after all. it’s like taking the eyes of an artist away or a musician’s hearing. when a murim warrior can no longer use their qi, what were they to do? if their condition hits rock bottom, they might not even have control over their own bodies, or even their consciousness. friends become foes, the living and dead are made equal in their skewed judgement, what if...

a chill ran down their spine at the thought of that scenario. no, they’d make sure such a tragedy can never befall on any innocent being. that’s why they were leaving the sect. for the safety of their sect brothers and sisters, and mostly for their own peace of mind.

why won’t you answer me, damn it!

chung myung’s calls were edging on desperation. he’d never been one to do well in the face of change. he was happy with the way things were, so why weren’t they? what went wrong? why did they want to leave?

so what if you can’t fight anymore? it doesn’t mean you can’t live here, everybody loves you so much and they can all take care of you!

besides, he was here too.

wasn’t he?

there was a long silence. the cool autumn winds danced past the sect gates. surrounding the two were large, towering plum blossom tress now donned in a lovely shade of caramel, with it’s leaves shaking free from the branches it spent a lifetime on — fluttering along with where the breeze led them and falling gracefully at their feet.

ever since their qi core broke, they’ve mostly kept to themselves. not really going anywhere outside their room or talking to other sect members. other then chung myung, of course. he was clingy, nosy and annoying. well, it was hard to shake him off in general.

if they were skipping meals, he’d break in through their window with a table of food. if they weren’t getting out of bed, he’d carry them out to join him in slacking off on daily duties. if they were beginning to spiral into the loop of numbed despair, he would barge in with something for them to do — housekeeping, meeting with merchants, archiving records, anything that kept them on their feet or distracted them enough.

it didn’t really make the feeling go away, but chung myung tries, and that was all that mattered to them.

but they had to go.

because they loved the people who lived here, they have to leave this home behind, so no one will ever suffer the chance of getting hurt by their hands.

because they loved him that they hope he would never have to go through the inevitable task of taking their life, when they are no longer themselves.

i should get going.

they grinned at him, honestly feeling a little silly about getting caught up in their emotions and becoming so sentimental at that moment. they were just moving out to live in the forest around the town outskirts. and it’s not like chung myung couldn’t come down the mountain to see them whenever he wanted either.

chung myung too, grew embarrassed. was he crazy? why did he act like they were going off to some faraway place? there were still within reach, there were still near mount hua. he could see them whenever.

tch. go off already.

he shoos them, flicking his hand at them in annoyance. wanting to hide his heated face from their prying eyes.

he hears them laugh for the first time in a while, he had been missing it lately, how could he have forgotten how sweet it sounded? they turn on their heel, heart lighter from before, it was going to be alright. they would be fine. chung myung will be fine. the sun will still rise on the east, and the seasons will change, the world will move on and so will they.

i’ll be going for real now, bye-bye chung myung. come see me tomorrow, okay?

nah, i don’t feel like it.

please?

he sighs.

i’ll go if i can slip past the sect elders.

you say it like you want them to catch you, i guess you really don’t want to visit me. how upsetting...

ugh. fine, i’ll see you in your stupid new house.

how sweet of you chung myung! look at how grown-up you’ve become!

you little—!

they laughed loudly as they ran down the mountain before chung myung tried to catch them in a chokehold. he doesn’t even bother chasing after them, but he does look on at where the ran off to. their hair had been cut shorter then it usually was, and the tie wasn’t able to hold back the lose few strands that fluttered around their face. they looked younger, lighter, like a kid going on a trip away from home. if they were that happy, he has to be happy for them too, shouldn’t he?

it’s been more then fifty years since then.

he walks into the humble abode, they were sitting against the windows, a book in one hand and the other nursing a cup of tea. they’ve aged, he realised. their once battle-worn face had gone soft, the groves around their eyes had grown deeper over time. skin that was once full and youthful had grown loose around the bones. their hair that had always been so well-taken care of no matter what was now thinner, a little dry and coarse. he picks up the brush lying on the dresser nearby, and walks over to where they were sitting.

with a confidence that seemed to have done this a hundred times, he gathers their long hair and wraps a thin white ribbon around it, looping it over here and there. when he was done, he leans back to look at his work, it wasn’t that good, but it wasn’t the worst either. he wanted to braid the ribbon into their hair but he gave up halfway and settled with a low one instead.

as he sets down the brush, they sweep the half-braided hair over their shoulder to look at his handiwork, fingers playing with the ends of the ribbon.

do you like it?

they look up at him, eyes searching his face, a look of unfamiliarity in their gaze. taking a moment longer before a small smile finally cracks on their face.

chung myung...!

they call out his name, turning to face him fully. they remembered this stranger in their house, and look at how he hadn’t aged a day.

chung myung smiles back sadly. it wasn’t fair how he was the only one whose time had seemed to stop, and theirs had kept moving on, the age taking their memories away at every turn. he just saw them yesterday and they’ve already had trouble remembering him again. they’ve already lost so much, it just wasn’t fair.

i made tea. you should have some, training must have been hard on you.

they smooth out the frown on his brow, tenderly rubbing circles on his cheek with their thumb. humming an unnamed melody as they did so.

he looks over at the said pot of tea. it had already gone cold, probably even bitter from how long the leaves must have sat in the water. he takes a cup anyways, and empties it out, not even leaving a single drop behind.

they giggle in amusement, wondering out loud if he was that thirsty.

hm... the tea you made is really... rich in flavour. thank you for letting me have all of it. i really needed that.

he lies while choosing his words carefully, setting down his cup and pushing the tea set away, he ponders for a moment, and picks them up in his arms, carrying them over to their bed.

what about my book?

you can read that later.

they watch as he sets them down on their bed, kicking off his shoes and climbing in right after. he sighs as his head plops down on their lap, making himself comfortable.

their hands find their way into his thick, dark locks of hair — fingers gingerly undoing the ribbon, watching in quiet fascination as chung myung's abundant tresses came cascading down their legs and flowing over the edge of the bed.

he hums, almost purrs as they thread through the troublesome kinks and knots in his curls, scratching his scalp as they worked through it. his tense body grows softer at their touch, leaning into their hand, wishing that those soft palms would lay on his head forever.

but alas, the night wore off and the distant bustle of the village nightlife had faded into the gentle symphony of the nocturnal critters for quite some time now. he knows he had to get up and return to the mountains, but how could he? the heart wants what it wants, and what it wanted was to stay by their side until the last moment. but he had also promised his sa-hyung he would be back on time.

a long drawn-out sigh was passed in the silence that lay between the two of them. they gaze down at chung myung’s face, again scrunched into a frown.

you frown so much.

the pads of their fingers ghosted over his brows, softly smoothing out the hard creases on his face. he kept his eyes closed. if he opened them, he knew that familiar face would be looking over his, and if he looked at that face, he would look into their eyes, and if he looked at them long enough, he would never want to leave this place. hell, he might not even bother to go with the sect tomorrow.

tomorrow, most of the elders and older disciples will be leaving to subjugate the demonic cult. i’ll be going with them.

he pauses. waiting for them to tell him to stay.

they don’t.

i’ll have to leave soon.

silence.

i’ll come back.

again, he was met with no answer.

you have to take care of yourself.

a beat, and then — a barely audible hum of acknowledgement graces his ears.

chung myung sits up, pulling them into a tight hug, it was really out-of-character of him but something in him was telling him to do it anyways. burying his face deeper into the dip of their neck, he felt his anxiety pour out of his lips.

you better be here when i come back. don’t take this as a chance to go somewhere i can’t find you. i have something i have to tell you so, wait for me here. please?

they rub soothing circles on his back, hugging him back with as much strength their aging body could muster. resting their chin daintily on his shoulder, they revel in the rare burst of affection the man was showing tonight.

hm. you worry too much.

they giggle for a bit.

where else would i be if not here? this is my home, isn’t it?

yeah, but...

if you’re still worried about that... well, i won’t try anything anymore. i promise.

really?

yes. really.

chung myung loosens his grip and finally lets go of his hold on them. coughing awkwardly, he moves them off his lap. slowly, he gets up, puts on his shoes and puts himself together. he turns on his heel, heading for the entryway. they followed after him, their feet shuffling against the floor trying to keep up.

it was drizzling outside.

there was a sudden warmth enveloping him from behind. it took him a moment to register their arms around his waist, face buried against his back. he barely held back his smile as he takes ahold of their hands, once again turning to face them. it seems that saying their goodbyes was a lot harder today, for him and for them too.

goodnight, chung myung.

you should go to bed soon.

he stays at his spot, watching them slide their door shut, listening as the movements in the shed ceased into soft breaths that eventually evened out. he waits a while longer and finally found the strength to return to his own home.

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morning rolled around rather quickly. the streets were lined with throngs of civilians on each side of the road making way for the farewell procession of the would-be heroes. vibrant pink petals were cast into the air as the elders of the sect led the disciples onwards.

from the corner of his eye he catches a white ribbon flowing in the wind, but when he swings his head to look, there was no one there. was he just seeing things? his heart drops a little, he was hoping to see them before he —

look up.

his gaze meets theirs, a gleeful glint in their eyes, all perched up in the trees. he wonders what they were clasping in their hands, held up to their mouth in what looked like a kiss. though he didn’t have to for long. as he passed by under them, he felt a flutter of white plum blossoms raining down on him, most of it falling off him except for a lone petal that stuck on his lower lip. he picks up the petal in between his fingers, feeling the corner of his lip crook up in amusement.

he should ask them about that stunt they pulled when he comes back.

and he should probably also tell them how pretty they were with that white ribbon he gave them, all braided into their hair, when he came back from this.

finally, it was over.

cheon-ma has finally been defeated.

all at the cost of so many lives. all taken too soon, too cruelly and all for what? who was going to remember the names of those that died here today? who would mourn for these lives? chung myung couldn’t think of an answer to that.

his body grows limp and he collapses on top of the mountain of corpses. he’s lost too much blood, probably from losing his whole left arm.

to be born alone and to die alone like a common mutt, what a life he had lived as the thirteenth disciple of the great mount hua sect.

all that was left for him to do, as his consciousness walked on the thin line between life and death, was to wallow in his regrets. he could see his memories flicker before his eyes. was this what people talk about seeing when your life is drawing to a close? all that he has done so far, had led to this sorry end?

if only he had been more diligent in training.

if only he had been just a little stronger then he was now.

if only he could have saved a life, any life. a single innocent life spared from the cold clutches of an unjust death.

ah.

and one more thing.

he wanted to apologize to them, for breaking his promise. he hoped they would curse him out a little, because at least that meant they thought of him. he hopes they wouldn’t get too lonely and join them all too soon.

he feels his senses grow numb.

it’s been a few years since chung myung had somehow traversed through time and had woken up a hundred years into the future from when he had died on that mountain of corpses.

he’d kept himself busy with building the now fallen and derelict sect, back into the glory it once had.

this new body of his, it was going to turn twenty-two soon. in his downtime, he’d slipped away from the sect and had gone down the mountain to the town as he usually did.

though it was a little different today. he finds his feet taking him down the almost familiar path out of the town and on an overgrown grass patch where a dirt path once lay. and sure enough, he could see the familiar shadow of a house, almost shed standing in the distance.

time had worked it’s damage on the structure.

he peers in from the broken-in door to see the place left to it’s bare bones. whatever furniture or item had all been looted and taken. in the middle of the room was a mess of broken wood, remnants of when the roof caved in.

chung myung walks into the dilapidated room, looking around for anything that could have survived the past hundred years of wear and tear. anything that could remind him of them.

nothing. there was really nothing left.

a breeze came in from a window, and the corner of his eye catches a fluttering movement. he swings his head and there, on the window sills, was a ribbon, turned light brown from the layers of dust and dirt, it’s once long silky edges now choppy and frayed.

hands shaky, he unties the ribbon from the window, holding it carefully, as though it would fall apart in his grasp. he could feel the barely buried feelings of regret crash upon him all over again. he wonders if they had left this behind with the blind hope that he would come back?

he was back, against all odds. he had managed to come home, but, they weren’t here to see it. nobody he used to ever care for was here to see him anymore.

he should leave. before his feelings get the better of him.

he holds his hands to his face, sighing deeply. steeling himself to move on. but when he drops his hands and opens his eyes, he is once again stunned in his tracks. was it really?

there, past the open window and on the clearing right outside looking at him curiously was a face he would know anywhere. a startled squeak leaves them as they realize that their eyes met, trying their best to block his view with the laundry basket they held in their arms. backing off and beginning to scurry away from the scene.

chung myung knows that it was a long shot, an impossible shot into the dark even, but what if they had been reincarnated like he had? it wasn’t out of the question, right? he thinks as his legs swing over the window, jumping down from it and begins to give chase to the one running away from him.

really, what sane person would ever think that they could outrun a martial artist? chung myung caught up so quickly it was honestly laughable. he catches them by the collar, yanking them back and they let out high-pitched yelp in fright.

he could barely hold back his laugh as he looks down at their face, eyes screwed shut and lips pursed in anxiety.

steadying them on their feet, he turns them to face him. they look different from all those years ago, but his soul knows. it knows better then anyone that this is them, a different face, a different voice and maybe even another name but all of that cannot trick his soul from knowing who they were.

he searches their face, there was no look of recognition. no matter, they could start over, he couldn’t let this chance slip past him like it had back then. he would make things right by them, he wouldn’t keep them waiting in vain like he had back then.

chung myung clears his throat, grinning boyishly at them, hands formed together in greeting, bowing his head before he looks back at them.

ah, really sorry about chasing you down like that. my name is chung myung, and i come from mount hua sect in the mountains back there. it’s nice to meet you.

they look at him, up and down, assessing him for a bit. crazy guy. chasing them down like a predator hunting their prey. crazy. batshit insane. who does that? who even does that? but, they would be lying if their heart was swayed by that grin, he was a little cute, and who in the world wouldn’t be swayed by a face like his? not them, that’s for sure.

besides, when they saw him through the window, something about him...

it felt familiar. it’s almost like, they have known each other from long ago. but wasn’t that weird? how could one know a stranger for a lifetime? unless this was what others call a fated encounter? they bite back a gasp.

hello.

a soft, shy smile graces their lips. quietly telling him their name. chung myung couldn’t help the fondness growing in his gaze. truly, it was a miracle sent from the heavens. maybe this time, the two of them would finally work out what they couldn’t last time. maybe this time, they would find the ending they’ve both always wanted.

#enihkwrites #return of the mount hua sect #return of mount hua #return of the blossoming blade #rotbb #rotmhs #cheong myeong #chung myung #cheong myeong x reader #chung myung x reader #return of the mount hua sect x reader #return of the blossoming blade x reader #not going to lie babes this one took me two weeks to finish writing #i had a plan and i lost the plan and now look at this ending yall #i lost the plot somewhere in the fic #can you believe im still going through the novel #imagine being a writer that hates reading #absolute insanity

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i-dream-everyday · 1 year ago

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【人妖犬改造计划】序章我是一条人妖犬

清晨，打扫房间的女仆打开了厚重的窗帘，一缕缕阳光照在冰凉的牢笼里。也照在了我布满汗珠的臀部。而我，又是谁？我已经没有名字了，我只有代号，印在左侧臀部的，红色印记，6号。

我是主人的一条母狗，确切地说，我是一条人妖犬。

赤裸的我蜷缩在一立方米的牢笼，跪在里面，呈Z字型，左侧手腕处的手铐与左脚腕的脚铐用3厘米的铁链连接，右手右脚也是这样我嘴里是硕大的口球，嘴里布满了粘稠的唾液，在头部下方自然也有唾液的痕迹。我翘着屁股，金属肛塞随着肛门的蠕动也在动，阳光照在金属肛塞上一闪一闪的。肉棒无精打采地耷拉在地上，渗出透明粘稠液体。

这时门开了进来的是管家，一个40岁上下，看似精明能干的男人，身着白衬衫黑西裤黑皮鞋，与一个上班族无异“6号母狗”他对着另外几个健硕的男人说道，说罢，那几个男人便把我同我的笼子一齐搬到了手推车上毫无疑问，我要去“伺候”主人了……..在“伺候”主人前自然要清洗一番了。

经过一夜的煎熬，我的双腿已然麻木，动一动就如同万箭穿心，在运输的过程中铁笼不断摩擦我的双腿，我“呜呜”叫了一路，他们自然没有理我，也是，谁会去理会一条没有尊严的母狗，人妖犬呢？到了一张水床前，他们将我粗暴地从笼子里揣出来，重重地摔在床上，将我的四肢用铐子固定在床上，用水桶装满冰水浇在我身上，将一个直径2厘米，长20厘米厘米的胶皮透明管塞进我的后庭，没有润滑液，那种痛，痛彻心扉，要开始灌肠了其中一个男人将一袋袋的温水顺着胶皮管灌入我的后庭，我的肠子，我的腹部渐渐隆起，下半身也随之抽搐另外几个男人也没有闲着，用狗刷沾上消毒水在我身上清洗粗劣的刷头刺痛我的每一寸肌肤，然而刷到我的双乳及下体时我竟有了一丝兴奋“嗯….嗯…啊啊…嗯啊”真不知道如果我没有戴上口球我又会说些什么淫荡的话语，嗯，我就是一条淫荡的人妖犬。刷洗完毕，管家戴着医用胶皮手套来了，站在床头，用指尖划过我的人造乳房，平坦光滑的小腹以及那并不相称，光溜溜矗立在下面的肉棒…..“可以”管家十分平静的语气可见得又见过多少的��我一样的人妖犬紧��着，管家突然猛压着我的小腹，“啊…..”伴随着水流声，我的意识逐渐模糊…..

醒来的时候，我依旧躺在床上，只不过四肢没有了镣铐的的束缚，身体感觉比刚才清爽了不少还没等我缓过劲来，两个壮汉将我粗鲁地架起来，将我带到管家身前“嗯，还不错，让这条小母狗看看自己吧”管家轻蔑地说我又被带到了一面大镜子前，望着镜中的那个…..我？

黑色披肩长发，斜刘海，刘海下面是一双水汪汪的大眼睛淡紫色眼影下是一对长长的睫毛，脸蛋粉扑扑的O型嘴唇上的颜色是烈焰鲜红，自然嘴里还有黑色硅胶口球脖子上的母狗标志牌和项圈格外突出C罩杯大小的乳房被一个只有B罩杯大小的胸罩包裹，连粉红的的乳头似乎也挡不住虽然不算大，但是完美的胸型加上胸罩的辅助，显得也是傲视群峰吧黑色蕾丝吊带袜包裹着修长的双腿与圆润的屁股，脚上踏着8厘米的露趾高跟红色漆皮鞋自然，我的手指脚趾也涂上了红色闪光指甲油身高180厘米，体重60公斤的我是显得那么的妩媚我不由得心猿意马，心中扑通扑通跳，我的肉棒似乎也开始充血“啪”“唔……”“母狗是没有资格勃起的”管家一个巴掌将我打到在地，冷冷地说这时我才发现，我的肉棒上有一个金属“鸟笼”仅仅能把我疲软状态下的肉棒放进去的贞操锁笼只要一充血，我的肉棒便会与金属笼摩擦，产生剧烈疼痛与，快感…….

“好了，出发吧”管家先行离开了房间那几个壮汉突然抓起我的头，粗鲁地将狗链和我脖子上的项圈相连在我头上戴上了狗耳朵发箍，自然还有狗尾巴冰冰的金属狗尾巴肛塞伴随着润滑液塞进我的粉红色的肛门里，狗尾巴四处晃动，扫在娇嫩的屁股上我暗暗兴奋，括约肌一直在不停蠕动，享受着快感经历了数个月的“特殊训练”的我竟然变得如此不知羞耻我就是一条母狗，人妖犬，母畜，肉便器……..我的脸变得有些潮红，肉棒似乎也流出一些液体

“啪啪”，两鞭子抽在我的屁股上…….他们便拖着狗链将匍匐的我带到了下一个房间…….

第一章我是一个伪娘？

我是一条人妖犬？？？至少在那天的以前，确切的说是6个月前我还是一个男人，一个1��8，体重75公斤的男人无论怎么想象，我也不会是一条痴迷SM的人妖母狗至少从表面上……虽然其实，我是一名伪娘。

自打初中起，发育以来，我便对女性的衣物有一种特别的执念尤其是丝袜，我喜欢穿着连裤丝袜，双腿不断摩擦的那种感觉我的第一次射精既不是献给了左手，也不是献给了右手而是丝袜那天，偷偷从母亲衣柜里拿出了一双肉色连裤袜我脱去了所有衣服，小心翼翼地套在我的双脚上慢慢地将丝袜的裆部贴近我的屁股下那是的我才一米六，自然可以轻松穿上普通的女性衣物我的肉棒逐渐充血，我便将他放在了一侧大腿，用丝袜束缚着我侧躺在我的床上左腿笔直地贴在床上，右腿渐渐抬起两腿呈一个4字自然，肉棒也再与丝袜与大腿摩擦两腿不断地重合在一起，又变成4字形，摩擦摩擦有一种不可言喻的快感，在进行了将近20分钟后我“尿了”，那一瞬间，无法用言语形容…….事后不知所措的我，竟然把上面的“尿”舔干净…..也许这就是我成为一条人妖母狗的资质把！

高中与大学自然是忙碌的没有经济收入和私人空间的我自然就将这个兴趣埋在心底那时的我也就仅仅是网上找来一些“女装子”小电影去欣赏梦想着有一天能在自己的空间内身着性感地，去自慰对，仅仅是自慰，仅仅是因为这样会使我更兴奋这样看来我就是一名变态的男人吧…..然而，自从工作以来，我对这个兴趣有增无减，甚至更加地“变态”了

二十二岁的我本科毕业由于修读的是新兴专业，本科就很好找工作了但是我比较倾向于读研，所以不太想去工作了然而学习一般的我，对于考研似乎并没有多大地把握直到我看见这家公司的招聘启事，启事上写工作优秀者可以由公司推荐与出资前往国外某大学修习硕士��这对我来说有着莫大的吸引力自此，我便踏上了不归路……

面试磕磕撞撞地通过了，我成功进入了这家公司我自然比较关心去读研的事情了，打听来打听去似乎公司推荐的员工都有一些相似点女的漂亮身材好，男的都比较秀气和矮一点对于女人，我自然可以理解，可是男的这？？？我便打起了退堂鼓一米八，身材不瘦的我似乎和前辈们大不相同我便把这��事放下了，开始专心工作可是，谁又知道我会是第一个破例者呢？

公司在外地，然而公司提供宿舍，而且是单人间，分布在不同的小区这让我感到了奇怪，可是这解了我的燃眉之急，我便不去在意了每天工作下班以后，我的私人时间来到了每天晚上的我，洗干净身体头戴网购来的便宜假发，穿上成套的蕾丝胸罩和内裤，腿上穿着黑丝或者肉丝脚上踏着高跟凉拖（42号的脚自然不好买）最后再穿上一件露肩连衣短裙。或在工作，或在看电视，抑或在自慰每天晚上我伴随这身装扮入睡，早晨起来后又换上西装去上班久而久之，我似乎懒得每天早晨去换装就在外面套上衬衫西装就出门了公司又有谁会知道衬衫下有黑色蕾丝胸罩与小吊带裤子里有黑色连裤袜和黑的蕾丝丁字裤呢？我渐渐喜欢上穿着性感女性衣物去生活而不仅仅是自慰我有时也会想为什么自己不是女生，不是漂亮的女生，不是性感尤物呢？虽然那只是一瞬间的想法。

来到公司的一个月后，我被通知去总经理办公室这对我来说十分突然，而同事们纷纷议论说，以前那些去读研的人都是被叫到总经理办公室的，我对此将信将疑，却又暗暗窃喜于是我就穿着这身装扮前往到了办公室，我整顿了衣服，摸到了胸罩吊带，就想去卫生间脱下来可是转念一想，自以为天衣无缝，就敲了敲门“咳咳，进来”我打来了门一名身着黑色OL服，黑色网袜，黑高跟鞋的波浪棕发女人，刚好从总经理身边站起来嘴里似乎有着什么东西，她和我对视几眼，身为雄性的我自然心猿意马我黑丝里的肉棒自然也有抬头的迹象，后来我知道，她是总经理的“女”秘书，当然这是后话了“哎呀，你来了呀”总经理笑容满面地说道，总经理50岁上下，秃顶，肥肠大耳，一看就是那种位居高层的人总经理与我寒暄了几句后便话锋一转“一会儿有个董事会，你跟我去，说一下读研的事情”读研？？？难道是我走了狗屎运吗？我难掩心中喜悦答应下来。

我跟随着总经理穿过办公区，同事满满是羡慕的目光，呵，谁又会知道10分钟后我悲催的境遇呢？我们来到会场，进了大门我便觉得寒风阵阵，让人不寒而栗偌大的会场中间是环形会议桌，外侧坐着稀稀拉拉20余位董事中间有一张桌子，上面放了一些东西，正对主席位放置了“口”字形钢管“来，��那张桌子面前”总经理笑嘻嘻地对我说我左顾右盼地来到桌子前，感觉董事们看我就好像看一个妓女，个个都是色眯眯的我看了一眼桌子上的东西！！！这不是我的假发，连衣裙和高跟鞋吗？？？！！！还没等我回过神来，两个一米九的肌肉壮汉一人抓我一个手腕，将我控制起来力道之大使我上身，乃至下身不能动弹“骚人妖，看看，这是什么呀”总经理从后面走过来，粗糙的手握住我的下巴“放开我，王八蛋”这时的我说这话却没有底气了，我全身发软，不知所措“噗呲”总经理一把将我的衬衫撕裂，露出了黑色蕾丝胸罩“哈哈哈，真骚啊”会场内哄堂大笑这时，总经理一个眼神，一个大汉从后面将我胸抱住，一使劲把握抱了起来使得我的下半身悬空了另一位大汉迅速将我的皮鞋脱下，皮带解开，用力一拽我的黑丝长腿从我的裤子里显露出来这时的我目光呆滞，两只黑丝脚內八地站着，此时抱住我的大汉将我的西服衬衫也都一股脑脱下众人眼中的我……黑色背头下一张惊恐的脸下面是极不协调的黑色胸罩和黑色连裤袜以及丝袜中若隐若现的蕾丝丁字裤我瘫坐在地上“好了，开始吧”坐在一端一直一言不发的董事长抬了抬手示意全场安静后，说道。两名大汉迅速把我馋了起来为我戴上了假发，穿上了连衣裙，穿好高跟鞋“这么一看，这婊子还是有一些姿色的嘛”总经理站着我面前用手拍拍我的脸蛋说，“唉？上班时间怎么能穿这身啊，应该穿OL装啊”也不知道谁喊了一句全场又开始哄堂大笑“哎呀，我疏忽了”总经理拍了拍脑门，便吩咐手下去办了不一会儿，衣服拿来了白色女式花边衬衫，黑色收腰西服以及黑色收臀短裙我依然不知所措，一句话也说不出来等我回过神来，我的双手已经戴上了手铐与两侧的铁管相连呈一个Y字型身上已经换好了OL服“总经…..”还没等我说完，壮汉将一瓶粉红色粘稠液体灌到我嘴中紧接着，戴上了口球“呜呜呜呜”我害怕的流泪了“开始吧”董事长冷冰冰地说道AV棒？？？什么？？？壮汉将我裆前的裙子拉上来，将丝袜拉开放了进去，和我的肉棒仅仅隔着一层蕾丝内裤“呜….呜”肉棒充血了，可是….有一点点舒服啊随着按摩棒震动越来越大，我的屁股开始扭动，黑丝腿也不停地颤动高跟鞋里的脚趾在不停地抓着我弯着腰，感觉屁股一直在往上提渐渐地双腿开始不自然地张开闭合张开闭合双腿逐渐没有了力气，我仿佛要摊在地上可是手铐却驱使我以一种极为淫荡的姿势，半蹲着，双腿时而夹紧，时而张开来了，来了，龟头在抽搐此时的我已经听不到任何声音了，“呜…呜…呜.”这似乎比自慰更爽肉棒越来越硬，好舒服，好舒服唾液越来越多，顺着口球四周流了下来那一瞬间我晕了过去，我耷拉这脑袋，双腿半蹲摊在地上，只有双手还固定在支架上慢慢的，慢慢的双腿内侧渗出白色粘稠液体越来越多，越来越多直到精液完全渗透至了鞋里…….“嗯”董事长点了点头壮汉将我从架子上卸下来，装进手推车里的箱子，推了出去……

第二章形体改造计划

那天，我伴含着屈辱的眼泪睁开了双眼那天，我在一堆变态中丢失掉了人格和节操那天，我像一个女奴一样被凌辱那天以后，我仿佛失去了成为男人的资本确切地说，是成为人的资本

不知过了多久，我睁开了朦胧的双眼第一眼便看到了自己的躯体天花板镜子中的我我躺在一张医疗床上，四肢被皮链束缚在床的四角周围站着一名身穿白大褂的男人，大概就是医生吧男人的周围围绕着三三两两的女护士显而易见，白色护士服，护士帽加上白丝自然就是护士了吧而我，全身赤裸躺在床上唯一的遮羞物，大概就是嘴里的口球了吧屈辱…….“呜….呜”我拼命想要说些什么来表达我的愤怒可是，硕大的口球还有嘴里慢慢粘稠的唾液….我想要说的越多，我嘴角流出来的唾液也就越多再尝试了大概一分钟后，我放弃了而且，他们也没有注意到我，他们仿佛在聚精会神地计划着另一件事情。“嗯”医生好像在专心致志地看着手中的一张纸，而护士也凑在旁边叽叽喳喳，“嘻，这年头变态的雇主们真是不少啊”“是变态的伪娘也不少吧”“哈哈哈哈，咱们不也是吗？！”“嗯，种类：寄存品品种：人妖科别：犬 ”医生喃喃说道另外还说了一大堆，只是当时的我并没有听见。

我来解释一下这些专业名词。种类主要分三种，寄存品，圈养品和挑选品顾名思义，寄存品是被雇主送到专门机构进行形体和人格改造的，而我自然有了主顾，只是当时的我并不知道圈养品是从小时候开始就被送到这里，男孩女孩进行形体和人格养成的挑选品，主要是在社会中挑选外貌身材出众的女性，以强迫的方式掳掠进来进行人格改造的。品种分两类女性与人妖，毫无疑问，都会以女性化的姿态出现。而我属于人妖化改造。科别分的就比较多了，性奴，这竟然是最好的类别了，一般是由比较好的圈养品和挑选品组成主要的任务就是满足雇主的性欲，自由度也比较高。猫，猫也是属于比较好的，被改造者以猫的形式出现来侍候“铲屎官”虽然��动方式上要和猫相似，不能享受人的直立行走，但是，也是有一定的自由的，日常也会满足雇主性欲和一些特殊要求。犬，那这就是我了，我被要求只能以犬的姿态行动，属于侍奉雇主的最低品种，毫无尊严与人格，会去做性奴与猫都不愿意去做的事情。乳畜，显而易见，是以胸前的双乳来生存，不断地注射受孕激素，迫使乳腺分泌乳汁，供雇主与其他家畜食用，大多相貌一般，但乳房大的女畜担任。豚，最为下贱的品种，没有接近雇主的机会，是工作人员的泄欲对象。总而言之，像我这种人妖品种基本上会成为猫，犬亦或者是豚。

他们看完了我的改造要求书，就开始了工作床上的我显得是那么无助，我可怜地望着他们那个医生似乎是可怜我了，“N4号，你去”。“让你来做最后一次男人吧”医生怜悯又轻蔑地对我说这是，一个护士把上身的护士服慢慢解开，护士服从肩部慢慢下滑，露出了白色蕾丝胸罩，慢慢的诱人的小腹以及被白色连裤袜所包裹的白色蕾丝内裤出现在我的视野真的是白衣天使呢她轻车熟路地解开胸罩，一对乳白色大奶跃然眼前，她舔了舔嘴唇，把一瓶透明色粘稠液体慢慢倒在自己的胸前俯身便坐在了我的肚子上，用双乳连同液体，在我胸前摩擦，是那么的的柔软，那么的舒服她的乳头硬了，我的乳头也硬了四粒乳头相互碰撞，相互交融，她俯起身，往我身体上倒了更多的液体，自然是用乳房帮我涂抹均匀胸前，双臂，小腹，肉棒，股间，双腿，双脚翻过身来，后背，臀部两个软软的肉垫摩擦这肌肤，我的肉棒充血了。涂抹完毕，她看了看我的肉棒会心一笑，跪在我的双腿间用灵巧的舌头在我肉棒上上下其舌，我的两个蛋蛋在她温暖的嘴里进进出出而后，她一嘴将我的肉棒含进嘴里，用舌头在我的肉棒周围摩擦，我除了肉棒是硬的，其他地方都软绵绵的我双眼迷离，唾液一直从嘴角往外流…..这时，她突然将胯下的白丝撕开，将内裤扯到一边？她？他？也有肉棒，而且？比我还大？她是个人妖？？！！她二话不说，将肛门对准我的肉棒，猛地坐下啊…..啊，又紧又温暖，我似乎已经不在乎她那粗壮的胯下之物了她观音坐莲式坐在我的肉棒上，穿着白丝的脚却搭在我的胸前，用脚趾不停地摩擦我的乳头，她左手摸着自己的乳房，右手则握着肉棒在撸我仿佛进入了天堂，不一会儿，我便爆发了我的屁股一阵抽搐，她也一阵僵硬，屁股随着我的屁股抽搐��看见了她仿佛要崩坏的样子眼球上翻，嘴角流水很快，��恢复了镇定，猛地一起身，跪在我头上方，将我的口球解开，将肉棒塞进我的嘴里咕噜咕噜…..好多…..腥臭的精液灌满了我的嘴里，然后，她又将口球给我戴上，起身朝其他护士们走去。我….崩坏了，无意识地望着她们……腥臭的精液使我恶心，而且还是那么多的…..

“好好享受最后一次当男人吧，以后的你只能流精了”医生笑眯眯地看着我说，“准备干活了”医生转头对着那些护士说，包括那个衣不蔽体的人妖护士…..那几个小护士将一个胶皮管拿过来，另一端连着一个滴瓶“医生，灌肠液弄哪种类型？”“30%温水，15%肌肉松弛液，15%女性荷尔蒙，40%催淫液，进行3次灌肠，3次逐渐催淫液比例上调，温水下调”“呜..呜..呜…..”胶皮管笔直插入我的肛门一阵阵暖流…..从肛门到肠子……肛门的撕裂感和被异物扩充的感觉充斥在我的大脑另外几个小护士也没闲着拿着一种类似于挂板的东西，伴随着先前涂抹的液体在我的腋下，肉棒周围，和大腿小腿进行刮除我看着镜子中的我腋毛，阴毛，腿毛慢慢被刮除露出白白地…….像一个白虎一样…..太羞耻了尤其是肉棒周围，寸草不生，肉棒光秃秃地矗立着好难受…..噗.噗..噗…一股伴着恶臭的黄色液体从我肛门喷涌而出整个房间一阵恶臭…..而我已经感受不到肛门的存在了，大脑一片空白。只是知道疼痛痛苦与羞耻也不知道过了多久，3次灌肠都结束了而我也有了一种微妙的感觉…说不出来的感觉…我呆呆地躺着，任凭冷水浇到我的身上…..护士们将我擦干净，满身涂上了另外一种液体处理胸前和头部，她们用保鲜膜将我裹得严严实实，这一切仿佛在梦中….我昏睡了过去…….

我再次醒来的时候，依然是在这个房间，这张床，这面镜子下与先前不同的是，我的手上扎着罐子在输液而胸前裹着白布，厚厚的，厚到使我低头先看下面自己的肉棒都看不见只能通过镜子来确认我的肉棒还在不在谢天谢地，还在，我还是一个男人可是…..胸前好热啊…..这是，医生进来了，“拆布吧”那几个小护士来到我身旁，七手八脚地把我胸前的白布拆掉？！这是….我的胸？胸上两个不大不小的肉球傲然挺立两个肉球上有着两个肉粉色的乳头我扭动上身，这奶子竟然也在晃动一痕雪脯，两粒粉点…..我是男？还是女？是公？还是母？

第三章母畜化集中管理

“怎么？还嫌小”医生不怀好意地说，

“我们并没有给你注射硅胶，只是注射一些脂肪和活跃的乳腺细胞”他双手捏着我的大概A罩杯的双乳，他的手掌恰好能��盖住，他又用双手的大拇指和食指，来回揉捏我的乳头，“啊….停下…..啊….”此时的我却是一脸享受这是一种全新的感觉，全新的快感“手术效果还不错，今后施加外部刺激就好了”医生同身后的一名男子说道，“以后就拜托你们了”，医生又朝着那名男子礼貌地说。我还沉浸在被拨弄乳头的快感中，我的脖子突然被狗项圈系住，一股强大的力量沿着狗链使我从床上一个踉跄跌落在地，我试图站起来，却被那个男子按住脖子推到“狗”他淡淡地说道“要有狗的规矩”我屈从了，全身赤裸的我匍匐在地上，随着狗链的方向而移动，悄无声息只有脖子上的项圈与金属狗链碰撞发出清脆的声音以及我的胯下，无精打采的肉棒在双股之间晃动….我像一条狗一样地爬，爬出了房间，爬过了走廊，爬到了车库，爬进了后备箱，黑暗笼罩着麻木的我……

随着一阵颠簸，我的视线出现了一阵光亮还未来得及看清周围，我便被拽离后备箱，穿过大门眼前的景象使我叹为观止，一排排牢笼，一根根饮水管一只只….?不到200平米的房子里关押着30多个，不对，是30多只母畜它们抑或一只一笼，或多只一笼它们嘴里戴着开口器颈上锁着皮链四肢被金属锁链拴住，另一端连着大铁球肛门内插着不细的管子连接到外面的机器人妖畜的话，一个透明容器包裹着透明的肉棒，又一根管子也是连接到外面的机器…..

这里是下三类科别的集中驯养地犬，乳畜和豚乳畜和豚都是多只一个笼子而犬是一只一个笼子，也许，这算是幸运吧….我被带到一片水泥地上，工作人员粗暴把我掀翻在地，我蜷缩着四肢趴在地上，被冷冷的水流冲洗着全身，随后，我被戴上了开口器，被牵往我的笼子里了我被驱赶至笼子里，工作人员也小心翼翼地钻了进去，“啊”好痛，我的….肛门被一个管道插了进去，“你每天的排泄会顺着管道流出去”工作人员一边工作一边说“每天排泄后会给你进行灌肠，也是由这个管子输送进来”“你每天的尿液会顺着下面的管子运出去”这时，他们用透明容器包住我的肉棒并固定好而后他们为我穿上了胸罩，并且在两个乳头处放上了跳蛋也许是因为我的笼子外的木牌上写着乳房塑造吧….他们将我四肢与铁球固定好便离开了笼子“30天后会有母畜鉴赏会，被看上的母畜会脱离这里”他们看着我冷冷地说道这样笼子里只剩下，一前一后两个洞和胯下肉棒被束缚，四肢被控制，随着跳蛋的震动而淫贱扭动着身躯的我。

接下来的一个月，我在痛苦与快感中度过，跳蛋无时不刻不在刺激我的坚硬的乳头，快感沿着粉红色的乳头，传向我那日益坚��的白净的双乳，小腹也越来越敏感，每天的我，唾液顺着开口器流到我胸前的双乳，肛门的括约肌随着乳头上的跳蛋振动频率一紧一缩，自然，我的屁股也在不停地扭动，肛门内的管道每天都会流进灌肠液使我变得性奋淫荡的灌肠液，温暖的，柔和的水流，使我变得无比享受，完全没有了第一次灌肠时的痛苦，我每天似乎都在期待着淫荡的水，在我淫荡的肛门里荡漾。然而肉棒被束缚着，关在一个小小的容器里每每肉棒流出透明色的液体时我是多么的想去玩弄我的肉棒可是，现在的我办不到了我被紧紧地束缚着，任凭我的肉棒坚挺在容器中，青筋崩出，龟头潮红，我也无法射精为我也渐渐开始享受了，失去了射精自由的日子。每天的清晨与晌午，粗制的流食饭菜与自来水便会端到我的面前，嘴唇无法张开闭合，牙齿无法咀嚼食物，我只好用舌头去舔舐，慢慢地，慢慢地，用前端的舌头勾起流食与水，送到我的喉咙里，我甚至还不如一条狗…..可是，我喜欢这种感觉，被限制自由的感觉任凭我的乳头凸起，肉棒流液，肛门被异物占据任凭我哀嚎，臀部淫荡地扭来扭去终究没有人搭理我可是，我就是喜欢这种感觉，我就是一条人妖小母狗…..

那痛苦与快感并存的一个月很快过去了，我和一众母畜要参加母畜鉴赏会，自然，我们不能以现在的姿态去参加去在众人的目光中显露虽然，我并不排斥那样，甚至会希望那样…..犬类鉴赏会马上要开始了我被狗链牵到了一间比较豪华的房间，房间四周都是衣柜与鞋柜，还有化妆台，我被固定在椅子上，手与脚都不能动弹已经一个多月没剪头的我，头发已经到了肩上我慢慢闭紧双眼，享受着发型师的手在我头皮上按动，嘴里，肛门，肉棒，没有了束缚再加上臀部与背部接触着柔软的椅垫，我的意识渐渐模糊…….再次醒来的我，从未见到过镜中如此美丽的自己此时的我梳着披肩深棕色短发，斜刘海的下面是韩式一字眉与鬼魅的眼睛长长的睫毛上是淡紫色的眼影，脸颊两侧的腮红与嘴唇上的浅红唇色相得益彰完全就是一个成熟妖媚的女性的脸…..脖子上依然是黑色皮质项圈下面是黑色蕾丝露胸胸罩，胸罩托起大概B罩杯的乳房，和乳房上的粉色乳头双手的指甲被涂上了从深粉色平坦光滑小腹的下端，我的肉棒被金属贞操锁所束缚，而龟头处一直在流出透明液体，我明显感到肛门处有更大的异物，那也许是肛塞吧凉凉的，和我肛门内温热的肉紧紧贴在一起腿上所穿是连裤细网袜，确切地说是开档，在裆部，我的肉棒贞操锁连同肛门处都显露无疑脚上则是高跟绑带凉鞋，8厘米高跟，鞋的前端露着同样涂着深粉色指甲油的脚趾甲和上面的网袜这时，他们为我穿上了衣服似乎是日式水手服，上身是白色露脐短袖水手服，上面还有深蓝色的��带而下身则是深蓝色百褶短裙，成熟的面妆，性感的双腿似乎与这青春洋溢的服装格格不入但这副装扮却使得我更加性奋，下面流出的液体也更多了我期待这……又羞耻着那些变态的大叔是如何玩弄一个更加变态的人妖小母狗呢？

第四章母畜鉴赏会

“编号：6号，种类：寄存品，品种：人妖，科别：犬”“身高182厘米，体重74.5公斤”“胸围95厘米，腰围70厘米，臀围98厘米”“手臂围28厘米，大腿围48厘米，小腿围32厘米”“阴茎勃起长度14.2厘米，乳房B罩杯”“脚码44中国码，无阴毛及体毛”我静静地站在一旁，无谓地用手挡住胸前与胯下，来维持那仅剩的自尊，而我的身侧，一个好像主持人的男人在宣读我的说明书，去给那些台下的变态的董事会大叔，“以上，基本素质评定B-”主持人顿了顿说道，“接下来进行进阶素质评定”

说罢，几个壮汉便把我拉到了一张椅子上那张椅子类似于医院的治疗椅，我斜躺在椅背上，双手被皮带绑在了椅子扶手上，两条大腿固定在了下策的凹槽内，类似于开脚器的设施，我就这样，被束缚在椅子上被束缚在众目睽睽之下，我的肉棒，我的肛门在众人的目光之中无处躲藏，我呼吸渐渐急促，脸蛋越来越红。这时，那个曾经改造过我的医生来到了我的面前，他撇了我一眼，就开始对台下说，“下面，我来进行进阶素质评定”他转过头，走到我身后，“发质良好，无分叉，发质较软，评定A”他抚摸我的头皮的头发，我痒痒的又很舒服“眼睛适中，双眼皮，睫毛较少，眉形一般，评定B”“脸部较平滑，嘴型姣好，评定A-”他慢慢走到我的身前，俯身将脸对着我，他右手轻轻将我右耳旁的头发播到耳背，用他温暖的舌头轻轻含着我的耳垂，还不时用牙齿轻轻撕咬，“啊…嗯…呃….”我轻轻地呻吟着这呻吟小到只有我们二人才能听见，我慢慢张开嘴唇，用舌头舔舐上下嘴唇我的肉棒也开始性奋了，慢慢充血，慢慢地占据了整个鸟笼，小腹带动着肉棒一起抽搐“叮铃叮铃”贞操笼与上面的锁碰撞，发出清脆的声音此时，下面一阵哄笑这时他停止了吮吸耳坠，双手抱着我的头“不要….不要停”我的雌性荷尔蒙被激发出来了他脸一斜，将舌头伸进了我微张的嘴唇“唔，唔…..”我微闭双眼仿佛在享受两只粘稠的舌头搅动在一起，互相摩擦，互相交融，唾液在舌头间不断地交换，过了半晌，他抬起头，从口袋里拿出纸巾擦了擦嘴“耳垂为性感带，舌头柔软，口腔空间较大，无异味，评定A”“头部评定为B+”他平静地说完这一切，就好像刚才什么都没有发生，而剩下的，只有双眼朦胧，嘴唇微张，舌头舔舐周围唾液的我，我面部越来越热，慢慢地，胸部，臀部……

“啊….”还没有等我反应过来，他将我上身水手服下端褪在我的胸上他双手捧着我的双乳，用手指在我乳头处来回拨弄，痒痒地…..好舒服，“舔我的乳头，求求你了”我竟然说出来这样的话…….他二话不说，一脸扎进了我的双乳，用温暖的潮湿的舌头在我的乳头旁打转慢慢地打转…..越来越快…..牙齿轻轻撕咬着乳头，痛感与快感并存，我感到身体渐渐发软，手指脚趾紧握，不断用牙齿在嘴唇摩擦我能感到两个乳头在他温暖潮湿的嘴里，渐渐坚硬….他紧接着用手来拨弄我的乳头，而用嘴在我的小腹上舔舐…..“呃…..”我的舌头开始在嘴里颤抖，双眼微闭，臀部开始扭动，而我的肉棒蜷缩在贞操笼里变得越来越红，马眼处流出的透明色液体也慢慢滴落在地上….就在我意犹未尽的时候，就像刚才一样，他猛地抬起头来，对着台下做汇报，“乳房不大，但胸型较好，较为柔软，乳头为敏感带，且性奋时较硬”“小腹柔软，但有较多赘肉，乳房评定B+，小腹评定B-，上身评定B”

“干…..干….我…干我”我眼巴巴地看着他，我从来没有如此妩媚地看过一个人，双眼满满的渴望，渴望肉棒，渴望肉棒插入我的后庭，与我融为一体…..显然他听见了我的话，可是他并没有理我，他用双手抚摸我的蛋蛋，抚摸我的臀部，他将肛塞拔出来，他将手指插了进去，搅动，他的双手拂过我的双腿，双脚，“睾丸正常，肛门扩张正常，肛门肌肉较多，评定B+”“大腿脂肪较多，小腿正常，腿型一般，评定B-”而椅子上的我越发地燥热难忍，他拨弄我，却又浅尝辄止，难道有比这更残酷的刑罚吗？我的肛门肌肉在不停抽搐，透明色液体不断从我肉棒中流出….“操….操我！！！求你了”我用尽全身力气喊道，也许我已经成了一个人妖母狗了，竟然说出如此恬不知耻的话……“哈？母狗还有命令别人的权力？”“太饥渴了吧，好好调教定是尤物啊！”台下哄哄嚷着。这时医生转过头来看着我，“想吃药吗？那种快乐的药？”我伸出舌头，点了点头，“是上面吃呢？还是….下面吃呢？”我已然全身发软，没了力气，但我依然尽力扭了扭屁股…..“哈哈哈哈，小骚货”“臭婊子真骚啊”台下哄堂大笑然而此时的我已经管不了那么多了….我，只要肉棒，

他此时将一大瓶褐色药物用胶皮管注射到我的肛门里，如同火上浇油一般，我的性欲越发强烈，我斜躺在椅子上，汗水湿透了我的每一寸肌肤，头发贴紧我的脸颊，嘴巴微张，舌头吐出来，上衣被褪去，胸前的粉点越来越硬，小腹随着呼吸起起伏伏，穿着网袜的双腿来回扭动，渴望挣脱束缚，肉棒越来越硬…..越来越热似乎要有什么东西出来…..“啪”一个巴掌扇在我脸颊上“母狗没有权利要求”说罢，一股液体从我的肉棒里流出，那并不是精液…..那股液体像是水一样….是尿，被束缚的肉棒喷出的尿液沿着马眼口流下，慢慢地，慢慢地，尿流越来越小，我渴望肉棒的感觉��强烈，生不如死，慢慢地，我眼前的东西越来越模糊……我虚拖地晕了过去……偌大的舞台上，一个人妖昏在椅子上，全身被束缚，双乳外露，然而臀部依然在抽搐，而椅子下则是一滩尿剂…..

第五章人妖犬肉便器（上）

醒来的我卧在一张毛茸茸的地毯上我环顾了四周，周围早已不是那个舞台，自然而然，也就没有没有台下的观众但是那个情景我永远也忘不了这时，屈辱感超过了快感，想到那时的我，像一个荡妇，一条母狗一条欲求不满的人妖犬，祈求着却不被满足着，真不知道那时为什么会这样，想到这里，我不由得冷颤，仿佛，脑中的我不是真的我可是却是那么的真实。我不愿再想下去，看了看自己的身体已然和那时的装束不同了，更加清爽了洁白的双腿上是长筒白色丝袜不透肉的白丝袜被拉到了大腿根，我动了动双腿，白丝在我双腿间摩擦温润清爽丝滑…..脚腕手腕和颈部被记着皮质的圈圈，上面有铁质的勾环，除此之外，便没有其他的物件了甚至连肉棒上的贞操锁也没有了，说来奇怪，一般来说，望着如此可人的自己，双腿摩擦着丝袜我应该早就勃起了啊，可是现在的我心中的欲望依然那么强烈，可是我的肉棒却软趴趴地耷拉着，用手去刺激也是有感觉却不能勃起….

正在我努力想要刺激肉棒的时候，门开了，我慌忙把手收到胸前，将身子扭到另一侧。“别藏了我都看见了”依然是那名医生“短时间内你是不能勃起的”他狡黠地说“我用药把你的阴茎感应器和传出神经切断了”我红着脸，脑中不自觉地想起那天和他，在台上的所作所为，“好了”他又一本正经地，“下面我来指导一下你的生活吧”一个狗盆被放在了我的面前，里面放着白色粘稠液体，闻着味道是精液….新鲜的精液“以后的三餐就是这个了，只有这个了”我将脸转向另一侧，不愿面向着恶心的食物“你现在不吃也行，反正以后有热乎的”医生一边拍着我的臀部一边说，“不吃，那好，下一项”说罢，他将狗链栓到我的项圈上，拖着我便出门我只好像一条母狗一样跟在他的身后我以一种极其屈辱的方式行走，屁股高高抬起，肛门因为双腿行走而一张一合，屁股也随着身体而高低起伏，从哪看这也不是一个人，而是一条母狗啊我就是以这样的方式来到了卫生间，“公狗是抬腿排泄，而你只能蹲着”他指了指一处单间内说，“排泄完里面有灌肠器，用完再出来”我只好爬进了单间内，解决完以后，将灌肠橡胶管插入我的肛门深处，而我翘着渗出汗珠的屁股，任凭温暖的液体在我身体内流动，然后拔出橡胶管，插入另一条橡胶管，将肛门内的液体喷入灌入喷出，再灌入喷出来来回回三次，我将橡胶管从早已颤抖的肛门抽出，我完成了整个过程像一条听话的母狗……

我安静低趴在他的脚下而我的肛门，我的屁股依然在不停抽动只是幅度越来越小还没有等我完全恢复平静我又被他牵着来到了另一处房间映入眼帘的是一台跑步机这时两个男人朝我走来，他们手里拿着麻绳，跳蛋…..我似乎已经可以预想到接下来发生的事情了我没有做任何抵抗，因为那些都是徒劳的他们拽着我的项圈，把我从地上托了起来用绳子将我捆绑起来，说是捆绑，却对我的行动没有太大影响，那种类似于龟甲缚的捆法，并没有束缚我的四肢，绳子只是将我的胸前的双乳从上下捆住这样更能凸显我的乳房而两股粗绳从我的股间穿过拉向后背接触我娇嫩的肛门，只要我稍微移动肛门便会像触电一般，娇痒难耐，我不自觉地扭动屁股，泪眼婆娑地乞求道，“求求你们，太紧了”他们并没有理会我，继续他们的工作他们给我穿上了黑色胶皮露跟厚底鞋并且扒开我的股间的绳子，朝里面塞入两颗跳蛋，将开关固定在我的右腿跟处的长筒袜处，打开开关“啊，不要，不要，快停下”我娇弱地哀求两颗震动的跳蛋深入我的肛门内“嗡嗡嗡”我的肛门被异物充斥着我双腿紧紧闭着，肛门内括肌也努力包裹着跳蛋尽量控制我不再抖动然而这些也都是徒劳，他们架着我上来跑步机，一人一边抓住我的手防止我从跑步机跌下来，他们按了按钮跑步机开始运作，而我不得不在跑步机上快走了起来这时，刚才一直在冷眼旁观的医生走到我身前“上午的训练便是减脂训练了”说完转身便走我在跑步机上踉跄地行走，每迈出一步，股间的绳子便和我的肛门摩擦，我紧紧抓著��们的手，眼睛直勾勾看着前方仿佛不去想我的下体的苦楚亦或者是快感高跟鞋踏在跑步机上的滴答声下体内传来的嗡嗡声软弱无力的肉棒和包裹着蛋蛋的袋子与大腿接触的微弱的啪啪声以及跑步机运行的声音…..我渐渐地习惯了肛门内部的震动也渐渐习惯了每迈出一步绳子摩擦的感觉胸前的双乳有规律的颤动我甚至喜欢上了这种感觉身不由己的快感喜欢上了肛门努力缩紧喜欢上了踏出步伐的艰难喜欢上了全身被汗水浸透我是多么想去将手指伸入肛门内搅动用手指来挑弄那早已坚硬的粉红色乳头可是我的双手被他们握住，动弹不得….不知过了多久，跑步机停了，他们也把我的绳子解开拉出肛门内的跳蛋我怅然若失，跌倒在跑步机旁，

我双唇微张，口水不停地流出，我用右手食指和中指用力伸进嘴里，带出晶莹剔透的唾液，又将两根手指伸入了肛门，两根手指最��的关节微曲玩弄自己的肛门内左手摸着自己的右胸，用力地捏着乳头可是我不满足，我想要小哥哥的肉棒我的淫欲完全盖住了我的理智“小哥哥”我双手扒开自己的肛门“求小哥哥干我的小肉穴”我扭动臀部，娇弱却又坚定地祈求“干我！快！用你们的肉棒！插入我的小穴！”我在大脑意识中已经不再认为自己是一名男人了。他们朝着对方笑了笑，就朝我走来他们脱下来自己的裤子，一个人半跪在我的腿前用粗糙的双手捏着我那疲软的肉棒而他的屁股一用力，那条布满青筋的粗糙的肉棒便插入我的肛门，进入我的体内我能感觉到他在用力，温暖湿润的肉棒在我的肛门内进进出出一边抽插，一边在用手揉捏我的翘臀他抬起我的双腿，双手扶住我的膝盖，用尽全身力气将肉棒忘我的体内撞击“啊啊，好爽，好……呜呜呜”我的嘴似乎被什么粗壮的东西堵住了回过神来，是另一个男人的肉棒，他坐在我的胸前，双手握住我的头将他的肉棒粗鲁地伸进我的嘴里我的舌头则在不停地运动舔舐他的肉棒，他的龟头，他的马眼双唇紧紧含住他的包皮，而他则在激烈地将肉棒在我嘴里进进出出“呜呜呜”我被干的神魂颠倒双颊涨红，浑身无力“呜呜呜”我的肉棒不受控制一股尿液从我的马眼里喷涌而出我失禁了…….与此同时，我闻到了一股腥臭味道白色的精液灌满了我的嘴里，顺着喉咙流了下去，一小部分则顺着不受控制的嘴流了出去我舌头则舔舐牙齿上的精液，期望能吃到更多这时我的肛门内感到了更加灼热这种感觉有规律地冲击着肛门内壁三四下之后，我的肛门便空空如也，只剩下里面的液体，随着我肛门内括肌的蠕动里面的液体一滴滴顺着肛门流了出来

我一点力气也没有了我侧躺在跑步机旁两只洞内流出白色的液体伴随着汗液，尿液和唾液快感渐渐消失，我平静地躺着上午的训练已经完成，那下午的又是什么呢？？？

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charlietinpants · 34 years ago

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notes on recrudescence

In classic fic writer irony, this fic required hours and hours of research that on occasion amounted to one line written on it.

On Magpies

This is how the oriental magpie looks. The japanese kanji for magpie is Kasasagi 鵲 - but I picked a different kanji - 笠鷺 (the direct translation of each individual character would be bamboo hat, heron) that actually is a legitimate name which reads the same as a tongue-in-cheek pun.

I found this little bird perfect, because it looks like a white and blue bird with its head painted black and i found it fitting.

On Jisei

Jisei are death poems which consist of five lines, with a total of 31 syllables (5-7-7-7) and are frequently composed by people on their deathbed. References to sunsets, autumn or falling cherry blossoms which suggest the transitoriness of life are common.

I picked my two favourites:

来時は空手、去時は赤脚。一去一来、単重交折[8]

Raiji wa karate kyoji wa sekkyaku ikkyoichirai tanjuu sekkou

Empty-handed I entered the world Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going — Two simple happenings That got entangled.

By Kozan

and

願はくは花の下にて春死なむその如月の望月のころ

let me die in spring under the cherry blossoms on that day in the Second Month when the moon is full

negawaku wa | hana no shita nite | haru shinan | sono kisaragi no | mochizuki no koro

By Saigyo

On Substitution Ciphers

Okay, I'm no expert on cryptography and i really really struggled with this because i couldn't find something that already pre-existed in relation to a deck of cards that wouldn't take another deck and years off your life to solve.

Lo and behold - i realized that that from ace to king, there are 13 cards in a suit and I went oh **** it and made one from scratch. It's rudimentary and very basic (2 different cards can mean 1 particular letter) and also a proper cryptographer would make fun of me, but it works in a pinch.

Line break here, if you'd like to spare yourself.

Spade A - 1 - A Spade 2 - 2 - B Spade 3 - 3 - C Spade 4 - 4 - D Spade 5 - 5 - E Spade 6 - 6 - F Spade 7 - 7 - G Spade 8 - 8 - H Spade 9 - 9 - I Spade 10 - 10 - J Spade J - 11 - K Spade Q - 12 - L Spade K - 13 - M

Heart A - 14- N Heart 2 - 15 -O Heart 3 - 16 -P Heart 4 - 17 -Q Heart 5 - 18 - R Heart 6 - 19 - S Heart 7 - 20- T Heart 8 - 21 - U Heart 9 - 22 - V Heart 10 - 23 - W Heart J - 24 - X Heart Q - 25 - Y Heart K - 26 - Z

Diamond A - 1 - A Diamond 2 - 2 - B Diamond 3 - 3 - C Diamond 4 - 4 - D Diamond 5 - 5 - E Diamond 6 - 6 - F Diamond 7 - 7 - G Diamond 8 - 8 - H Diamond 9 - 9 - I Diamond 10 - 10 - J Diamond J - 11 - K Diamond Q - 12 - L Diamond K - 13 - M

Club A - 14- N Club 2 - 15 -O Club 3 - 16 -P Club 4 - 17 -Q Club 5 - 18 - R Club 6 - 19 - S Club 7 - 20- T Club 8 - 21 - U Club 9 - 22 - V Club 10 - 23 - W Club J - 24 - X Club Q - 25 - Y Club K - 26 - Z

G - Diamond 7 U - Club 8 N - Heart Ace

P - Heart 3 S - Club 6 N - Club Ace

#Recrudescence #author notes extended #dcmk

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presumenothing · 6 months ago

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记忆商店 | THE MEMORY STORE

from zhou shen’s second album 《反深代词》 | listen on spotify

lyrics by: 唐恬 / tang tian

有客人从夜里来 a customer, late / in the night 买很古老的年代 seeking something / from long past 记忆的货品单 the inventory / of memory 这一款早售完 oh – this one's / long sold, gone

不虚拟的拥吻想不想买 x and o's, not 0 and 1 / yours, if you'd like 没噩梦的睡眠耳边goodnight a sleep, terror-free / by your ear: goodnight

找遍了记忆商店 the memory stores / he's searched, each one 他说想再荡个秋千 saying: to ride / that swing again 妈妈我想飞得高点 "higher, mom – i wanna fly higher" 星球以光速穿越 through stars, on / a thread of light 妈妈我想落到地面 "back, mom – back to the earth" 荡啊荡啊荡个秋千 swing, swing, back to that swing 摇啊晃啊去找花园 to rock, to sway, to a garden away

买鲸鱼歌声鸣咽 buy a whale's song of tears 岛屿还未消失这个世界还曾下著雪 the islands, still here / on this world, it / even fell snow, once 亲爱的我很抱歉 my dear, i'm / quite afraid 不朽的没有了没人记得 those undying / are no more / beyond all recall 有新款流星雨人群狂欢 see, here – a new meteor shower / the raucous crowds 有温暖的炉火不需要下载的陪伴 and here – a stove so warm / companionship with no load time

[REPEAT CHORUS]

要找我的秋千 to find that swing of mine 只需要荡起脚尖 to just rise / to tip of toe 只需要等着落地 to just wait / for land again 没什么要明白没什么要勇敢 nothing / to comprehend / none to / be brave for 荡啊荡啊荡个秋千 ––– swing, sway, and away

#zhou shen #反深代词 #shenself #周深 #long post #tang tian + zs collabs are gonna shred our last bits of sanity fr #不需要下载的陪伴 <- the voice on this last bit is driving me nuts i tell you. absolutely berserk #and the shit you only notice upon close read (the switch from 他 to 我 im chewing. the fucken scenery)

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koali-kajipo · 6 months ago

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窓辺

O脚

#my art

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bomb0some0dodongos · 2 months ago

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Fun Japanese expression of the day, because I found it in the FE6 novel, and how can I not share it:

馬脚を現す - bakyaku o arawasu

Literally, to show the horse's legs.

It comes from theater, referring to when the actor acting as a horse's legs accidentally shows themself a little bit out from under the costume.

As an expression, it means to reveal something bad or negative that was meant to be kept secret.

In the FE6 novel, it's used to refer to Roartz and Arcard when they flee Aquileia and abandon their king to save their own hides.

謀反人として馬脚を現し - muhonnin toshite bakyaku o arawashi = reveal themselves as traitors

#japan #japanese #expression #language fun #fire emblem 6 #fe6 #fe6 novelization translation

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sokmil-idol · 1 year ago

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濡尻満島あすか

濡尻満島あすかの詳細発売日 : 2023-01-25 配信開始日 : 2023-07-25 出演者 : 満島あすかレーベル : MARE メーカー : スパイスビジュアルシリーズ : 濡尻ジャンル : グラビアアイドル/美少女/スレンダー/美尻/美脚/尻フェチ/水着/浴室/ランジェリー/ボディーストッキング/シャワー/手ブラ/HD（ハイビジョン）作品紹介ヒールが似合う美脚＆美尻のスレンダー美女、満島あすかちゃんの最新イメージ作品。今回はお尻をクローズアップされたお尻フェチ作品となっている。●みつしま・あすか／生年月日:1月11日／サイズ:T163／B83（D）／W58／H85／出身地:富山県／血液型:O型／趣味:推し活、妄想／特技:イラストを描くこと／濡尻満島あすか詳細はこちらサンプル動画もっと見るサンプル画像もっと見る

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#HD（ハイビジョン）#グラビアアイドル #シャワー #スレンダー #ボディーストッキング #ランジェリー #尻フェチ #手ブラ #水着 #浴室 #美少女 #美尻 #美脚

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seiunsky2520 · 2 years ago

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肩こりや腰痛にはさまざまな原因があります。身体の特定部位がちゃんと機能していない為に肩や腰に負荷がかかってしまうケースが多い。主な部位は背骨胸郭股関節。そしてその周辺の筋肉。例えばボールを投げたり少し離れた場所にあるものを取る時などしっかりと胸郭が開閉して肩甲骨が稼働すれば腕や股関節は必要最小限の動きで済み肩の負担は減ります。股関節も同様。股関節や周囲の筋肉が凝り固まってうまく動かないと膝や腰への負担が大きくなりそれが骨盤の歪みや腰痛に繋がってしまいます。背骨もしなやかな動きが失われると本来背骨でコントロールされるべき負荷が肩まわりや骨盤腰に集中してしまう。この3部位が本来の正しい働きをすれば肩こりも腰痛も起こりにくくなります。 #骨格ゆがみ調整#DRT整体#猫背改善#巻き肩改善 #腰痛改善#骨盤調整#骨盤矯正#O脚矯正#X脚矯正 #O脚改善#x脚改善 #肩こり腰痛 #腰痛改善 https://www.instagram.com/p/CnItAo6PrAh/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#骨格ゆがみ調整 #drt整体 #猫背改善 #巻き肩改善 #腰痛改善 #骨盤調整 #骨盤矯正 #o脚矯正 #x脚矯正 #o脚改善 #x脚改善 #肩こり腰痛

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gotjacobian · 1 month ago

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Finished the "HOT-TO-GO" translation, which I'll put under a cut. Original lyric is in italics at the top, then mandarin and (pinyin), and then [a more literal translation] and some notes on why we picked what we did.

I can be the one, I’m your new addiction 我可以成为你的，想成为你的瘾 (Wǒ kěyǐ chéngwéi nǐ de, xiǎng chéngwéi nǐ de yǐn) [I could be yours, want to be your new addiction]

It’s all in my head, but I want nonfiction 都是我的想象, 但我想要现实 (Dōu shì wǒ de xiǎngxiàng, dàn wǒ xiǎng yào xiànshí) [It's all imagination, but I want reality]

I don’t want the world but I'll take this city 我不要全球但要拿下这城市。 (Wǒ bùyào quánqiú dàn yào ná xià zhè chéngshì. [I don't want the world, but I'll take this city]

Who can blame a girl, call me hot not pretty 不要叫我漂亮，你要叫我火辣。 (Bùyào jiào wǒ piàoliang, nǐ yào jiào wǒ huǒ là.) [Don't call me pretty, call me hot.]

Pretty direct translations. The last line is the biggest change. We dropped the first question and went for an exact translation of "You shouldn't call me pretty, you should call me hot." It keeps the beat better, and putting 火辣 (huǒ la, hot) at the end keeps the punchiness better than 漂亮 (piàoliang, pretty) would. And it comes a bit closer to actually rhyming (though I didn't really put much effort into preserving that - I think it would take a level of mastery I definitely don't have)

Baby, do you like this beat? 宝宝,你喜欢这歌吗? (Bǎobǎo, xǐhuān zhè gē ma) [Baby, do you like this song?]

I made it so you’d dance with me 我写了它好和你跳舞 (Wǒ xiěle tā hǎo hé nǐ tiàowǔ) [I wrote it to dance with you]

It's a hundred-ninety-nine degrees 是一百九十九度啊 (Shì yībǎi jiǔshíjiǔ dù a) [It's a hundred-ninety-nine degrees!]

When we’re doing it baby, doing it baby 等到我��做的时候，我们做的时候 (Děngdào wǒmen zuò de shíhòu, wǒmen zuò de shíhòu) [By the time we do it, By the time we do it.] Numbers are one of the things I know well at this point, so I was very pleased at how closely the scansion matches across languages there. It matches too well - you fall one syllable short because of the 度(dù)/degrees swap, and really can't change anything without making the line significantly harder to sing. My gf and I went back and forth for a while about how to finish the phrase, and just ended up adding 啊which indicates an exclamation, and also works as an "ah!" for the singer to play with going into the next bit. For the last line, there's an impressively close equivalent to "doing it" as a euphemism in 做 (zuò, do or make, contextual sexual connotations fully included). Which I learned when it came up as one of the characters to memorize on a flashcard website I was using, and I got a very weird look when I asked what it meant.

Snap and crack and touch your toes 啪啪啪，触摸你脚趾 (Pā pā pā, chùmō nǐ jiǎozhǐ) [ Snap, snap, snap, touch your toes]

Raise your hands now body roll 举手现在屁股摇 (Jǔ shǒu xiànzài pìgu yáo) [Raise your hands and shake your ass now] 啪啪啪(Pā pā pā) is onomatopoeic for snapping, but ALSO has some convenient sexual connotations! And I had no idea how to get "body roll" , so went with the more vulgar, but also more easily translated, 现在屁股摇 ( xiànzài pìgu yáo, "now shake your ass". 屁股 is one of the words I already knew how to translate, because I went to middle school with a lot of kids who spoke chinese.)

Dance it out, we’re hot-to-go 通宵开门打包带走 (Tōngxiāo kāimén dǎbāo dài zǒu) [Open all night 'for takeaway']

H-O-T-T-O-G-O You can take me hot-to-go 可以把我打包带走 (Kěyǐ bǎ wǒ dǎbāo dài zǒu) [You can have me 'for takeaway']

We kept the spelling, and I think an "actual" translation/cover would too. I am very pleased with the swap of "dance it out" for something that's the equivalent of a shop window "open 24 hours" sign, also. And then, of course. "打包带走" (dǎbāo dài zǒu) literally means " wrapped up like a dumpling and taken away" and practically means "as takeout", and we put that in anywhere "hot-to-go" shows up in the original song.

I woke up alone staring at my ceiling 我独醒得早，仰屋兴叹 (Wǒ dú xǐng dé zǎo, yǎng wū xīngtàn) [I woke up early alone, looking up at the house and sighing]

I try not to care but it hurts my feelings 我努力不在意可我内心困扰 (Wǒ nǔlì bù zàiyì kě wǒ nèixīn kùnrǎo) [I try not to care but I'm troubled inside]

This translation of "staring at the ceiling" is very... literary? It is 'staring at the ceiling' in this context. The direct translation is something like "to stare at one's house in sadness" and comes with associations of truly unmitigated despair. This greatly entertains me, so I kept it. The translation of "hurts my feelings" here is also more directly "troubles my heart" which is pretty good. The first time I tried to translate it, the literal translation was "hurt my face" (fun fact - the 'saving face' idiom in english comes from this equivalency in chinese) and my gf laughed for like five minutes.

You don’t have to stare, come here get with it 不要只是盯着，可以来得到我 (Bùyào zhǐshì dīngzhe, kěyǐ lái dédào wǒ) [Don't just stare, you can come and get me] No one’s touched me there in a damn hot minute 很久没有人操过我了 (Hěnjiǔ méiyǒu rén cāoguò wǒle) [It's been a long time since anyone has fucked me.]

Apparently the "it = me" implication "get it/with it" here doesn't translate well? Which I find interesting because mandarin usually seems very ready to leave stuff like that up to context in other situations. I was also proud of the next one - mandarin is left-branching, not right-branching, so communicating the sentiment "no one has touched me in a long time" goes in the order "in a long time, no one has touched me." Which breaks my brain a little when I have to say things, but that's not the point - the humor of this line comes from having a euphemistic first half and more intense/explicit back half. So I flipped which clause was the explicit/non-explicit one to keep that.

What's it take to get your number? 你可以留下电话号码 (Nǐ kěyǐ liú xià diànhuà hàomǎ) [You could leave your phone number]

What's it take to bring you home? 我真的很想带你回家 (Wǒ zhēn de hěn xiǎng dài nǐ huí jiā) [I really want to take you home] Gf and I also talked a lot about these. Apparently this kind of rhetorical structure is really hard to do concisely in mandarin. Like it exists, but the primary way you communicate stuff like what would be communicated the weird verb tense sandwich of "what does it take to get" is by sticking a bunch more words in a sentence. I'm still not totally satisfied with what we came up with, but it was tough to try and hit the right tone. The "leave your phone number" thing is also apparently just how you say that, though most of the suggestions i saw for a "get your number" translation on i.e. reddit were actually "add me on WeChat" lol.

Hurry up, it's time for supper 快点，晚饭时间到了 (Kuài diǎn, wǎnfàn shíjiān dàole) [Come on, it’s dinner time]

Order up, I'm hot to go 下单了, 打包带走 (Xià dānle, dǎbāo dài zǒu) [Order up, for takeaway]

Hurry up, it's getting cold 快点吧，天要冷了 (Kuài diǎn ba, tiān yào lěngle) [Come on, it’s getting cold]

Last few lines! The first thing I came up with for the "it's time for supper" I was told sounded too much like "your mom calling you in for dinner" and there was much discourse about what fixing that would even entail. I was pleased that there's also a pretty nice translation for "Order up" that fits the beat.

#more notes on rhyming: i feel like the scansion of chinese feels very different than english #and i was suprised at how much this affects my ability to judge if two lines “rhyme”#since i normally think of that as just a Sound Thing #need to listen to more music in mandarin to evaluate #complaining #music

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patsatshit · 1 year ago

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Mがタラウマラを退職して今月末で早くも1年になる。Mとの出会いはサイクルショップすずめ時代で、彼がダルクからの帰り道に3,500円のママチャリを買いに来たのがはじまりだった。その後も何度か話をしているうちにとても面白い人だと思うようになり、おまけにサイクルショップすずめが立ち退きを迫られていたタイミングだったこともあり、純粋な気持ちで「自分はこれから新しい店を始めようと思うが、一緒にやらないか？」と声をかけた。その後はとんとん拍子に話が進んで……という訳にもいかず、突然連絡が途絶え、聞いていた住所を訪ねるも接触ができなかったりした(笑)。やっぱりあかんかぁ、と自分は自分で今後の準備に取り掛かっていたところで、突然サイクルショップすずめの店頭にふたたびMが現れて「ぜひともやらせてください」と言って来た。最初に声をかけてから数ヶ月が経過していたと思う。そこからは本格的にタラウマラの準備に取り掛かった。Mには諸々の事情があったので、契約面、資金面については僕がすべて請け負い、あくまでも雇用する者とされる者の関係性のうえで二人三脚で開業の準備を進めた。僕は開業資金の100万円を借り入れ、途中で不足が生じたので社会福祉協議会から新たに40万円を調達した。その間に数人の友人たちに「Mと一緒に新しい店をやろうと思う」と伝えたら、全員から猛反対された。これは誇張や脚色ではなく、本当に色んな人から「何を考えてるんですか？」「いままでやってきたことを棒に振るんですね」「あなたがやろうとしていることは商売ではなく福祉だ」との助言をもらって、これまでのMがやってきたことを勝手に想像しないではなかったが、それ以上にそんなダメダメなMをきちんと支えたいという想いが遥かに上回っていた。なかには「あなたがMと一緒にいるなら、もう関わりたくない」と言ってきた人もいたが��その方とは未だに再会できていない。とにかく当時の僕はMに夢中だったし、むちゃくちゃに酒癖は悪いがどこか憎めないところがあって、すべては許容範囲だと感じていた。実際タラウマラが始まっても酒でのトラブルは絶えなかったし、M自身も慣れない仕事で精神的にきつかったのだろう、いつだって抗不安薬を手放せないでいた。それでも僕はMの才能に魅せられていたし、ひとりの友人としてもこんなに腹の底から笑い合えるのは初めてだとも感じていたから、最初の2年間は本当に楽しかった。タラウマラで雇用する際にひとつだけ約束事として交わしていた「違法な薬物に手を出さない」ということもきちんと守ってくれていたように思う。Mの音楽作品もコンスタントにリリースを重ね、また彼自身の尊敬する先輩や友人からオファーを頂く機会も増えていった。とにかく酒や違法薬物をできるだけ遠ざけ、それ以上に夢中になれることをふたりで模索していた。僕はあのときの自分の感覚とMを信じて良かったと心の底から快哉を叫んだ。唯一の不安は金銭面だった。そこだけは本当に苦しかった。社会福祉協議会に追加の借り入れを申し込んだが、それでもまったく足りなかった。互いに友人や親戚の仕事を手伝ったり、単発の日雇いバイトに従事することで何とか糊口をしのいでいた。そんな金銭的な不安を打開するために僕は出版物のリリースを目論んだ。もともとMは編集者になりたかったと言っていたこともあり、それならば、と季刊刊行物を制作しようと思い立った。それが「FaceTime」である。タラウマラのような小さな店舗ではどれだけ頑張っても自転車だけでは到底2人分の給与は稼げない。Mの持っている技術で新たに売上をつくることができれば、今後、彼自身の自信にも繋がるだろうし、タラウマラの第2ステージとしても最高だと思った。実際、滑り出しは順調で尊敬する友人たちが素晴らしいテキストを寄稿してくれたこともありvol.1の500冊はすぐに完売した。Mの編集技術も回を重ねるごとに更新されていった。ちょうどその頃、Mに恋人ができた。Kという彼女は僕の「DJ PATSATの日記」を読んでMに興味を持ち、好きになったと言っていた。しばらくするとKはジョージアへ1年間の語学留学に発つことになるのだが、ロシアとウクライナの戦争が激化し、ジョージア国内でもキナ臭い動きが表面化したことで、彼女は緊急帰国した。そして淡路にあるM宅での同棲が始まった。突然の帰国に際してタラウマラからは自転車やTシャツを贈呈した。するとMが「Kが土井さんに直接お礼を言いたいとのことですので、土井さんの勤務日にお邪魔しますのでよろしくお願いします」と言って来たので、そんな気を使わんでええよ、と思いつつも心のどこかで楽しみに待っていた。しかし予定の日にKがタラウマラに現れることはなかった。その後、3度、同様のことが繰り返されたので僕ははっきりと気分を害していることをMに伝えた。Mは狼狽しつつも「Kの仕事が急に忙しくなって、家から一歩も出ていないんです」と必死にKを庇っていた。ちょうどその頃、常連のOさんがタラウマラにやって来た際に「そう言えば先日、Mさんの彼女を紹介してもらいました」と言うので「どこかでばったり会ったんですか？」と聞くと「いやいや、タラウマラでに決まってるじゃないですか！ビールまで頂いてしまって」と笑う。Oさんが店を出た後、僕はMに電話をしてはっきりと怒りを露わにした。もうKには挨拶に来てもらわなくて結構！と伝えるとMは終始すみません、ごめんなさいと誤っていた。翌日、Kは菓子折りを持ってタラウマラにやってきた。本人と直接話をしても僕の中で靄が晴れることはなかった。その後、周知の通りMの商業出版が決まり、Mは多忙な日々を送ることになるのだが、明らかに酒量は増えていった。そして遂には◯◯にまで手を出してしまうことになる。タラウマラを一緒にやるうえでの絶対的な約束を彼は破ってしまった。僕の妻は心底呆れて「もうあかんで、やめてもらって」と言っていたが、本人が深く反省していたこともあって、僕はなぜか不問に付することにした。いま思えばもうどうでも良くなっていたのかも知れない。その代わり、Mには土日だけの勤務にしてもらい、給料もそれまで売上の完全折半でやって来たところを日給制に切り替えた。Mは義兄のバイト、土日のタラウマラ、商業出版の執筆、最後の「FaceTime」の編集作業と引き続き忙しそうにしていた。その頃からますますKがタラウマラの業務について口出しをしてくるようになった。給与面、業務時間、業務負担についてなど、それらすべてをMの言葉を介して僕に伝えられた。何度かそばで聞いていた友人が「それ以上はKのことを土井さんに言わない方が良い、ネガティヴキャンペーンにしかなってない」と注意をしてくれた。Kは「なぜMばかりそこまでやらないといけないのか」と繰り返しているようだったが、物事には役割分担というものがあり、僕には僕のやるべきことがあり、MにはMのやるべきことがあるというだけの話だ。どこからか金が降って湧いてくる訳でもなく、自分たちで稼がないといけないのだから。そして遂にはタラウマラで行われるイベントの際にMは「いまの��なたには執筆の方が大事でしょ」とKから言われたとのことだったので、僕はイベントの最中にMに対して「もう帰りや」と言ったのだが、Mは慌てて「そういう意味じゃないんです」と訂正した。いまでもそれがそういう意味じゃなくてどういう意味だったのかわからない(笑)。「淡路が嫌いやから」という理由でMとKが引っ越しをしたり、その後も色々あったが、綱渡りのような精神状態で互いに業務を遂行していた。そしてその先に待ち構えていたMの解雇を決意するに至る決定打は、実につまらない些細なことだった。ライブやバイトのスケジュールでMは度々シフト変更を求めてきたが、僕も家族のことなどで逆にMにお願いすることが何度もあったので、そのこと自体については持ちつ持たれつで何ら気に留めるようなことでもなかったのだが、ある日Mが同日の予定変更を何度か重ねて依頼してきたことがあった。最初の変更時に僕自身もプライベートの予定を入れてしまっていたこともあり、2度目の依頼の際には代わりに出勤することもできず、その日は店を閉めることにした。一応Mに休みたい理由を聞いてみると「Kがどうしてもその日に新開地の立ち飲み屋に行きたいと言っている」とのことで、この瞬間にはっきりと僕の中で何かが崩れた。あのときのことはいまも忘れられない。本当にこれまでMと積み上げてきたことがはっきりと物音を立てて崩れ去った瞬間だった。僕は「わかった、でももうMとはタラウマラをやっていくつもりはない。年内で辞めてくれ」と伝えた。その後も例によって色々ありながらも、彼がタラウマラを辞めると決まってからは僕も色んなことがふっ切れて、随分と気持ちが楽になった。Mの商業出版に関しても素直に応援することができた。ただ一点だけ、彼の出版を手がける編集長がタラウマラにやってきた際に「著者と打ち合わせしたいので、しばし外して頂けますか？」と直々に言ってきたことについてはいまでも呪いのように自分の内側に燻り続けている。タラウマラはコワーキングスペースでもなんでもなく、僕が借金して��り上げた自転車屋やで(笑)。

※ ここから先は「他人の事情」につき閲覧注意！

それはさておき、2022年の年末でMはタラウマラを退職した。最後の1ヶ月は本当にたくさんの方々がタラウマラを訪れ、みな口々にMを労ってくれた。ほんまに色んな人から愛されとんなぁ、と驚いたのをいまでも鮮明に覚えている。タラウマラを始める際には周囲からあれだけ反対されたのに、どないやねん(笑)。しかしある意味でこの両極の振れ幅こそがM「らしさ」なんやと思う。最後にシャッターをふたりで閉めた際に僕は素直にMに「楽しかった。ありがとう」と伝えることができた。Kからも「色々お世話になりました。これまではタラウマラにあまり顔を出せずにいましたが、来年はもっと遊びに行きます」とメッセージが届いていた。年明け早々にはMと友人と一緒にmole musicに行った。出会った頃のように話をして、笑うことができて嬉しかった。別れ際に「出版もうすぐやな、楽しみにしてるで。僕も同じタイミングで何か作ろうと思ってるから、タラウマラでダブル出版イベントとかできたらええな」と冗談めかして言った。そして「Kと一緒にいつでも遊びにおいでな」と言ってその日はMと別れた。その後、Mの書籍のリリース日が決定したが、タラウマラ限定特典についての打ち合わせもしっかりできないままに、いよいよ出版社へのオーダーの期日が迫っていた。Mは「義兄のバイトで忙しくて」と言っていたから、退職して間もないし確かにそうだろうなと思っていた。もちろんKも年が明けてから一度も顔を出さない。SNSで別の友人の書店には頻繁に行っている様子だけは伝わってくる。そんなある日、Kがインスタグラムに投稿した内容を見て愕然とした。Mからは「週7で義兄のバイト」と聞かされていた日に彼らは旅行に行っていたのだ。思わず「またや」と無意識に言葉が口から漏れた。1年前、Kの帰国後の挨拶問題とまったく同じことが繰り返されたと感じた。僕は瞬間的に自分を見失うほどの怒りが込み上げた。そしてみんなが呆れてものも言えなくなるような醜悪な内容をSNSに投稿した。純粋に死んでほしいと思ったし、自分も死にたくなった。結果、たくさんの人が僕のもとを去った。それは仕方のないことだといまでも思っている。誰だってあんなことを書くような奴と付き合いたくない。それでも継続して僕との付き合いを続けてくれている方々、大丈夫ですか？あなた方のほうが狂っていますよ、だけど心からありがとうと思っています。自転車関連でも、Mの退職後は何人ものお客様から「あの子がおらんねやったらもうええわ」と言われたし、それまで良好な関係だった方々にいつもと同じように挨拶をしても露骨に無視されるようになったり、Mを慕っていた若者からレジ金を盗まれたりもしたけど、この1年で自分なりのやり方を確実につかんだ。何事もゼロをイチにするまでの地道な活動こそが最も大変で、イチがサンになってようやく人々に少しだけ気にかけられるようになり、サンがゴになって多くの方々に認識される。言うまでもなくKや某編集長はゴ以降にMと出会った人たちだ。そんな彼らに僕らがふたりで積み上げた期間を蔑ろにされたような気がして、自分でも愚かだとは思いつつも怒りを抑えることができなかった。でもそれはもう大丈夫。僕はいまもやるべきことを継続してやれている。何度も言うけど、いまでもサポートしてくれるみんなのおかげ。Mはどうだろう。編集長が言ったように僕が彼の足を引っ張ることになったので、どうにも本来の力を発揮していないように思う。ガヤの勝手な意見やけど、これだけは言っておきたい。Mの胸には「チェンソーマン」のデンジみたいにスターターが付いていて、それを引っ張ってやればとんでもない能力を発揮する。だからお楽しみはこれからってことですよ。

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