#now we're at the starting line
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As the outline has grown and I have begun to WRITE THE FIC (!!!) the playlist has become more robust. The fic has a title, as you can see, and the list of songs is in fact in order!
#dead boy detectives#dbda#now we're at the starting line#my fic#save dead boy detectives#<- I'd still rather have an actual season lolllll#revive dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#payneland#Spotify
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secret wars secret love you will ALWAYS be famous
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#//draws eriks weird reindeer thing differently to make this pose work// vjELAKVJEALKJV#maybe ill stick to this but i kinda like the 'barricade' vibe of the other option but anyway#mom said its MY turn to reference the famous bridal carry panel#this was supposed to be a quick warm up but as i was lining things my hand started to tremble really bad#i dont know why ??????????????? thats never happened before and my hand's perfectly fine and normal now#like my hands tremble a little from time to time but nothing ever detrimental#the trembling i had today was ACTUALLY crazy bad. had me concerned but i was also able to still draw so not that bad ig#ANYWAYS. yeah <3 i wanted to reference tha panel we all love ......#i draw this mfer carrying his mfer so much i fear i cant be stopped. charles is a princess who needs to be princess carried#i usually draw it like. An Actual Block or whatever but its flatter ... so charles may rest his weary head ...#i did draw charles getting a handful. its what he deserves. its also what i deserve but i cant have that now can i#erik living my dream too tho ..... life is so unfair i wanna carry charles xavier and kiss his head this life SUCKS#slowly being able to feed my cherik fix again we're Semi back. once i finish my work for once THEN we'll be so fuckin back jWRKLJLAKF#ok thats all from me bye bye
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#paldean wooper#alright here we go. the beginning of the end of gen 9#it's the paldean forms‚ retrofit evos#and then we're into the paradox pokémon. which is the end of the line for this blog#ssooooo pretty soon i'm gonna need to start thinking about what to do with this blog once we're done with the pokédex‚ it seems like#never thought this day would come‚ somehow‚ even though i haven't even been running this blog for very long‚ it feels like#it's become part of my daily routine‚ queueing these posts up every morning#i've been doing it for quite a while now that i think about it. i remember queueing up a bunch in advance for my trip to california#which was a whole year ago at this point. damn#time‚ uh. flies?#anyway if you have any semi-last-minute ideas as to what you'd like to see on this blog moving forward#do let me know. by the time this posts i think the queue will already be well into the paradox 'mons#so i'll be thinkin about it by then
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help i can't stop drawing this guy
#marty mcfly#back to the future#bttf fanart#bttf#the poses and expressions are all pretty random i was mostly preoccupied with figuring out his hair hahaha#think i've got it down now#looked at a couple other people's martys and i love how many of them drew those two stupid antennae hairs#he doesn't even have anything that looks like them that often in the films due to him getting a new hairstyle every 10 minutes#but good to know everyone was like yeah this is him. we're going to keep drawing his two stupid antennae hairs bc that's him.#half these doodles have freckles and half don't i was trying something there#bc his video game model definitely has them. and if you look very close on pictures of him i think he has a couple#but it's not really something that stands out as a trait of his#but also theyre kind of cute so maybe i'll keep em#once again please excuse the crudity of these doodles i really gotta start doing something about those sketch lines#kit does an art
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And I forget sometimes I'm just flesh and bone.
As he stands in the ruined bathroom, all Rook can think is, At least now I can breathe.
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 render#my renders#blender render#oc: Rook#dnd sims#ts4 dnd#please I beg of you open this in a new tab and look it it. it's 2080px across and I spent way too long on tiny details.#(like the blood on the shards of glass on the sink. and the mirror alone took well over an hour...)#augh I love my boy so much#he's really going through it right now tho#poor bby#but when he's going through it I'm having fun playing him so...#yeah#blood tw#tw blood#so this is scheduled to go up right as we're starting our session picking up from exactly this point.#I thought that would be thematically fitting#please listen to this song it's so good and it's very Rook.#I almost put the lyrics right after this line (''I saw my reflection on the street that night / he said I got something to change your life#/ he said you don't look wrong but you don't look right'')#bc yk mirror shit. But I ended up going with this line instead because it's VERY VERY fitting for the conversations going on w/ Rook.#specifically about his reckless endangerment of himself to the point where some of his party members consider it to be self-harm.#(and obviously punching a mirror intentionally is self-harm.)#but like Rook doesn't see it that way and he's so confused as to why the party is so upset with him. (esp. his mentor and the gunslinger.)#god I could talk about this ridiculous man for hours so I'll stop here.
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giving psych another go after having watched the first season and a bit a couple years ago before stopping because I hadn't really been feeling it
only like six or seven eps in this time, and I am enjoying it, and I would like to stick with it this time, but god, now I do remember why I gave up on it in the first place. for all the show has going for it (which is a lot!) so much of the tone (and shawn is usually the biggest offender) falls back on those really insufferable attitudes from the mid ’00s of like. hit on every woman you see, getting laid is always the biggest priority. kneejerk disdain for anything nerdy or "uncool." I'm a guy and that means I care about porn and sports and that's it
#like yeah it's fun when shawn gets blindsided by a woman (bc she's hot ofc) only to get a reveal later that she was the bad guy#but also I'd rather he just. treated women like people in the first place lmao#and I'm sure he does later! like everything I've seen of late series him and juliet looks good and intriguing#but we're starting from such a rough place. and like. is the show aware?#bc then you've got gus who doesn't conform to those same masculine behaviors (often to set up a punchline for shawn)#but gus himself doesn't feel like a punchline or stereotype. he feels well-rounded and is often validated by the circumstances#it's just bizarre. wondering if this is one of those cases where s1 of a show feels least tonally accurate#e.g. how it's initially pitched or what it plays up for viewership or attention vs. how it settles into itself down the line#but man I'm over s1 shawn. like I'm watching the convention ep and he's being so unnecessarily dickish and dismissive to gus and everyone#because it's nerd shit? it's uncool? this just feels like such an outdated sensibility#(which it is. it's 18 years old at this point. these sensibilities are now legal adults)#but I'm glad we as a culture moved past this energy and I'm ready for the show to do the same#psych#kayla posts
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my student for some reason: sure the Nazis murdered 11,000,000 people in extermination camps, but the United States temporarily imprisoned 110,000 Japanese Americans, and at the end of the day, those are pretty similar
me: I guess?
#burning your hand on the stove and being completely consumed in flames are pretty similar too when you think about it#the persistence of the notion that the Nazis and the Western Powers aren't that different at the end of the day is...striking to me#I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that#I mean I know a lot of people like to indulge in this thinking#often to rehabilitate Nazis#but also often in the hopes of de-legitimizing the West#there was a thing circulating a while ago of a video the Soviets made of a German WWII vet who was fighting in decolonial wars#and they got him drunk and eventually he started repeating the old Party Line#and this is presented like it is the true nature of the Western Powers contra the Soviets#I really think you're wrong about that#now that we're getting into the Cold War we're getting into the 'you know at the end of the day Americans and Soviets pretty similar'#sort of in some ways but also no
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After the Fall {AN ACTUAL SHORT STORY THIS TIME} [Kaiju No. 8] (Could be considered as possible Ep11 spoilers; interpreted artistically)
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"Kafka Hibino." Captain Mina Ashiro started, "No. Kaiju Number Eight. I am taking you into custody." She leveled her gun to him. Her voice as steady as her hands, taking care not to let an ounce of sadness that had filled her soul melt her outward resolve. The companies were distraught and heavily wounded. Most of the infrastructure in the training area had been reduced to ash. An arched border line had been etched into the pavement around them. One side was mostly intact with spider cracks in various locations. The other side was a pale, dusty mess. No surface from the border and beyond was traversable with all of it being splintered, jutting, and uneven.
At the peak of the arch stood a half dissolved monster, melting back into a man. When the flecks peeled off and drifted into the remnants of the wind, a face began to emerge. Kafka Hibino, the former member of the Third Division had ousted himself as the elusive Kaiju Number Eight. He stood stone still, letting fragments of his alter form slough off as he never took his eyes off his captor. He wanted to think he knew what she was thinking, that this is just protocol, that there was no place in her heart that harbored ill will or intent. Mina wouldn't use her gun against him, right? They could still be friends, that he could still fight for his spot at her side.
He couldn't tell. Mina was unreadable as ever and Kafka couldn't blame her. He had been reprimanded enough times to know that this was just how she had to be in front of others in the Division. Her place wasn't a position where she was afforded the leeway to be physically emotional. Emotion was considered weakness, and she had to be strong for the others. To the officers, she was being seen as a strong captain, standing against a Daikaiju threat. It didn't matter that this was Kafka, that everyone had seen that it was Kafka who made a harrowing choice to save the lives of thousands. All they saw now was a monster, no matter how human and familiar its face was.
"Hoshina. I need you to cuff him." Captain Ashiro commanded. Hoshina heard, but was refusing to act. He couldn't bring himself to look at the situation in front of him. A man he trusted, a man he had considered as a friend and compatriot, was confirmed to be a threat to the world. Hoshina wasn't sure at the beginning what Kafka's circumstances were. He knew that things were off, but he chose to ignore them. The whole reason for letting Kafka join as a cadet was so Hoshina could investigate him, and he failed to do even that. All because he couldn't look past his smile. How could a man with a smile so bright and genuine ever be a threat to others. He didn't believe it, refused to believe it. He wasn't going to slap cuffs on a man that didn't have a threatening bone in his body.
But was he a man? Everyone saw Kafka gain impossible speed. They all saw Kafka, as a kaiju, blast into the sky and launched the bomb to a safer distance. Was Kafka a kaiju now because he was strong and dangerous? Or was he still a man because he understood sacrifice? Kaijus didn't need to deal with pesky feelings. They didn't have to worry about what others thought of them. All there was in kaiju minds was to eat and destroy. Kafka could express emotion, and has expressed desire outside of destruction. If Kafka knew that others would turn and run in fear if they knew what he was and what he could do, why did he do it anyway?
"Hoshina." Captain Ashiro commanded again, dislodging her Vice Captain from his thoughts. He still didn't want to do this, still choosing to believe in the man behind the monster's mask, but it wasn't a good idea to make the Captain repeat herself. Reaching into his side pouch, he dug up one of the plastic handcuffs that most officers are issued with. They were issued with the intent that defense members might encounter people taking the opportunity for ransacking during invasions and could preform arrests until the offender could be picked up by proper authorities. Hoshina walked up to Kafka and held the industrial zip-tie in his hands. Every neuron in his skull felt like it was screaming in retaliation, making his hands hesitate in the action of placing Kafka under physical arrest. He almost wanted to laugh. Did anyone here actually think that these meager restraints could hold back a person with a registered fortitude rating? Kafka slowly held out his wrists in front of him, looking like a toddler that was expecting a ruler to come down on them in punishment.
"It's okay. I know." Kafka whispered imperceptibly to him. His head was bowed solemnly, but he looked at Hoshina as his face remained ever reassuring. He almost felt like slapping the look off of him. How dare he act like this. How dare he try to be apologetic and caring for others in this situation. Why couldn't he be an asshole and run, fight, do anything to save himself. For god's sake, why can't he be selfish. Having to deal with a daikaiju on the loose would have been less gut wrenching than having to send a fellow soldier to an uncertain fate.
"Captain Ashiro, I can explain-" Reno Ichikawa was shouting as he came barreling over the fallen debris as nimbly as possible. Following behind at a much slower pace was Kikoru Shinomiya.
"Save it Officer Ichikawa!" Ashiro barked at him, "Telling by your outburst at this time of all places, tells me you have some knowledge on this as well." she holstered her side arm now that Kafka had been successfully restrained.
"You too, Shinomiya. Hoshina told me about his suspicions about how you managed to neutralize the honju at the acceptance trials earlier this year and with you showing up behind Ichikawa here, I can assume that you're in on this too." She began to wordlessly direct those around her and made moves to stand behind Kafka and Hoshina.
"Okonogi, send several vehicles over to the training area. We have multiple wounded and a lot of tired soldiers that I think would rather drive than walk back to barracks. Leader Ebina, gather some of your people and start marking a path through the rubble so we can transport the wounded."
"Roger that, Captain. Do you want me to send an armored vehicle for Kaiju Number Eight?" replied Okonogi. Captain Ashiro looked hard at Kafka, now back to appearing completely human and in the plastic cuffs. Hoshina was looking right at the captain. Blood had stopped dripping down his face minutes ago, but it was still clear that he wasn't in any shape to fight anything more powerful than a mouse right now. She took in the fact that his hands were placed gently on top of Kafka's limply curled fists, a sight that Kafka couldn't pull his eyes away from.
"No. Leave the armored vehicle for now. We might need it to be fueled and stocked for whatever happens tomorrow." Ashiro replied back after serious consideration. With most of the Division looking the way it did, and the person most capable of going head to head with a daikaiju of small size looking like death warmed over, she acknowledged the fact that Kafka; or Kaiju Number Eight, she hadn't stopped her brain from fluctuating between the two, hadn't taken the opportunity to bolt for the hills. She figured if he was going to try anything, he would have as soon as she leveled her sidearm at him. In the bright moonlight over head, she could see the person she once considered a friend chuckle noticeably.
"Thanks for that, Captain Ashiro. Those trucks don't have the best air condi-"
"Save it. I don't want to hear another word from you tonight." Captain Ashiro commanded. She could clearly see the word's effect on him as he visibly flinched at her sharp tone. As the officers around her got into position and steadied their hands on their rifles, she pointed her finger off over Hoshina's shoulder, indicating that they should start moving. Kafka's feet regretfully began to shuffle around to face the direction he was supposed to go in, but when he tried to take an actual step he hissed loudly and nearly collapsed to his knees onto the pavement. Hoshina didn't think for a second as he rushed forward to catch him before he landed, propping himself under Kafka's broad chest and grabbing his shoulder to keep him balanced. The chorus of six safety switches all clicking off in unison could be heard behind the two of them.
"Shit- Sorry, sorry! Knees were locked." Kafka said, glancing over his and Hoshina's connected bodies.
"Sorry." He added, seemingly addressed to no one in particular.
'Maybe that was addressed to all of us.' Hoshina thought as he helped Kafka readjust to his feet. Once he felt okay enough to walk, he began to move forward at a sluggish pace. It was clear to Hoshina that he wasn't walking slow on purpose, and that it really must have taken a lot out of him to propel himself into the air and sucker punch a twenty kiloton yoju bomb into the lower stratosphere. Hoshina kept a hand on Kafka's upper back as he gently guided him through the path Ebina's team had marked earlier. With the moment they were in being as quiet as possible, save for the occasional echoing crash of broken rubble hitting the ground all around them, Hoshina took a second to think.
'I mean, when you think about it, that should be enough to knock the wind out of anyone capable of doing that in that sort of situation.' He stunned himself with the words in his head. How could he even try and logic out what a man with the power of turning into a Kaiju was even qualified to accomplish? This whole situation was absurd and he hated it. He hated everything in that moment. He hated Kafka for putting himself in danger, he hated Captain Ashiro knowing she was only doing her job, he hated himself because he was the one who told Kafka not to get attached to others on the job because God only knows what could happen and here he was, feeling attached knowing damn well that he was going to feel like shit because he was basically loosing the best damn thing this Division had going for it!
Hoshina couldn't writhe in his personal hell for much longer as the group had made it to the busted doors of the training grounds. The remnants of his fight with Kaiju Number Ten as well as debris from the explosion had all been pushed to the sides as best as possible. A few tents had been erected to preform triage and separate the barely scratched from the mortally wounded and treat them appropriately. A rotating convoy of open air trucks and military jeeps were set up at the far end of the street carrying the tired and lightly wounded to somewhere else on base for rest, if it was available for most. All activity seemed to slow, almost stopping in some areas as Kafka led his paltry parade showcasing his imprisonment through the masses. It almost felt like a display of a man being condemned. Okonogi pulled ahead of the line in her own commandeered jeep and pulled it to a stop in front of Kafka and Ashiro. The captain told the six behind her to grab a vehicle for themselves and follow close behind, before wordlessly hopping into the passenger seat of the car. As Hoshina hopped in the exposed backseat, he could hear Kafka groan and hiss as he settled into the spot on the bench next to him.
"Hssssss, haaaa, hoooo. Wow, sitting down. A novel idea. Who knew?" Kafka talked exhaustedly as he fumbled with the lap belt using his restrained hands.
"Miss Okonogi, not to presumptuously assume your driving skills, but you mind being careful and avoiding potholes and barricades on the way to my cell. I'm gonna take a nap." Kafka's head slumped unceremoniously against the metal bar framing the back of the jeep and immediately started to breath heavily, almost as if he was asleep already. His closed eyes meant he didn't get to see Mina's irritated glare she sent his way before she took the clipboard that Okonogi brought with her. Hoshina rested his elbow against the car's sidewall and placed his face in his hand, staring at an unaware Kafka.
'He's asleep. This no good, dirty, rotten, lying, mutant Kaiju bastard is asleep?' Hoshina thought angrily. As he felt the car move forward and tuned out Captain Ashiro and Okonogi's conversation, he realized all he could think about in that moment was him.
'A man saves an entire base and this is how we thank him.' Hoshina's inner monologue continued. He knew he wasn't the only one here who felt like this, and when the news got out in the morning he was sure lots of others were going to have mixed feelings on this as well. Arresting him was for the best, he knew that as well. Good intentions or no, human or no, it didn't change the fact that Kafka can become a kaiju. The whole purpose of the Divisions was to eliminate kaijus. The fact that Kafka was allowed to breathe, let alone sitting in the back of a car with the two most powerful people on base at rock bottom of their best, spoke volumes about how crazy and fucked up these circumstances were. Protocol was kill on sight, and Kafka knows this. Yet here he was, sleeping the rest of his freedom away.
'It wouldn't be hard, either.' Hoshina thoughts continued, 'I may not be able to put up a good fight at the moment, but we can assume he's mostly human right now. He's asleep and tired, which means he's vulnerable' He played with the tip of the handle connected to his sword. 'I could end it all for him right now and he wouldn't be wiser.'
But he wouldn't. Hoshina couldn't lay any hand on him with deadly and harmful intent behind it, now and forever. Monster or Human, it didn't matter anymore. Nothing could ever change the fact that Hoshina had one percent of trust in this man right now. And he wondered if Kafka could feel that too, because why else could he be so blissfully asleep right now.
'He's not going to be like that for long.' Hoshina thought bitterly. The protocol was kill on sight for honju and yoju, yes, but that stopped at daikaiju. they were killed like any other threat, but whatever that was left of the body after the fight was sent off for research. Research and experimentation. Hoshina knew that it was a snowball's chance in hell that the leaders of the Defense Force were just going to let them keep Kafka on base, but were they going to let Kafka stay alive and intact? Hoshina could feel his heart be poisoned and start to cramp up at the thought. He had to look away for a moment , lest tears started to mix with the blood and stain his cheeks even more. It took several sharp breaths and a solid minute of mental filing to help his chest feels normal again.
Hoshina tried to take another look at the mystery that was his fellow soldier. A face as still as a forest pond, covered in already healed scratches. Light from the moon created soft shadows on his eyelids and neck. flickering and shifting in tandem with the shakes and jolts coming from the moving jeep. His worker's tan looking more pronounced than it usually did. Kafka looked stoic and peaceful, which created a stark contrast to the unearthly and demonic visage Hoshina has associated with Kaiju Number Eight. It was an awful situation Hoshina found himself in.
On one hand, he wanted to come across the bench and hold him. Whisper calmly in his ear that everything was going to be okay. That he won't have to worry about whatever that's going to come for him in the morning. On the other hand, he wanted to be the one that was being held. To have all those sweet and empty promises whispered back at him, to be told that things would be fine for him too. Kafka won't have to leave the base, that this whole kaiju transformation business was just the concussion talking, and the base will be back to operational in no time at all.
None of those things were going to happen. The base reconstruction was going to take forever, Kafka was going to have to leave, and nothing was going to be fine. Hoshina turned away again, feeling the chest tightening again and wanted to keep his tears to himself for the time being. He couldn't cry now because there was a superior officer present and didn't also want to wake Kafka. He couldn't cry in the morning because he needed to be strong in the face of whatever decision that was to come down on his officer's head. As the first shifts of color indicative of the approaching dawn began to brighten the night sky, Hoshina tamped down every bit of emotion he had to let out later into the first few minutes of however much sleep he was going to get in those twilight hours.
This was going to be a rough few months, wasn't it?
#possible spoilers#For the next episode of Kn8#I wanted to get this posted earlier but I only just now had the time to finish it.#I don't think that we're going to get much of a direct aftermath of the arrest of Kafka HIbino#so here's a substitute.#warning: It's KafHoshi flavored#if ya read between the lines i guess?#who am i kidding#*looks at the last four paragraphs* Its definitely KafHoshi flavored.#I tried not to villanize Mina too much.#Everyone was bashing her for arresting Kafka and I was like#“It literally PROTOCOL for these people”#Ya'll should be lucky that he gets to come out of this without a gunshot wound#Kafka makes dad noises.#might post this on Ao3 as part of my Before the Beginning: After the End collection of Kn8 after the death of Kn9#Help establish the start of where Hoshina gets feeling for kafka.#BUT doesn't realize he has these feelings just yet.#thought I was going to crank this all out in two days.#Nope... as usual#not to act as canon compliant or as an accurate character study#as usual; let me know of spelling errors#fuck forgot these#kaiju no. 8#kafka hibino#kafka x hoshina#soshiro hoshina#mina ashiro#fanfic#fanfiction#short story
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Life got more interesting when I learned that everything is an argument, everything is political, and everything is deeper than it seems. Everything is the product of something, and it's up to us to figure out what that "something" is. We are interesting as fuck! We are deeper than you think!
It might seem really tedious, but recognizing this has made me so much less incurious. I now want to learn about us as people. Everything is deeper than it seems.
#positivity#i see this as a positive#i was talking about modern art with my dad and i was realizing that we're pretty different in terms of philosophy...#...because i got excited thinking about the politics of art - he was baffled at what's considered 'art' and!!!#that's a deep conversation! modern art is so much deeper than 'lul this guy thinks a red canvas is art'#and people's REACTIONS about what is considered art is just as political as what we *call* art!#and he seemed baffled that i called it political but i don't think art exists in a vacuum - nothing truly does#once i realized everything is an argument i started actually paying more attention to other people#i know this line of thinking is easily overwhelming to others but i found that it was so helpful to me#because now there's yet *another* PURPOSE to actually pay close attention to every little thing#and that's something that's helped save me#you know maybe this is what they mean when they say autistics like to break things apart...?#i'm just putting this out there so maybe somebody can be like 'this is what i want to do too!“
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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Anyways, to those who have been wondering what we've been doing during our impromptu Tumblr Vacation or whatever we're calling it, we've been trying to find a playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 that is made by someone who doesn't annoy the shit out of us, and also tormenting Karlach Cliffgate (as you do)
#we speak#also sleeping. we have slept a lot. being in a school environment is exhausting.#its very hard to remember how much we generally enjoy learning when the environment itself is. that#but on the plus side our shittiest possible 40-minute 1k word essay with eight trillion loose lines we Could have connected#was apparently impressive enough that the people who were meant to be assessing it for If We Could Take The Course#as a preliminary instead just forwarded it as a formal application and it got through#we know we are better at writing and deconstructing that writing than most. however.#christ man there were like a dozen cracks in that essay reasoning and a trillion threads we left dangling#we know that directing you to see what the narrative is focusing on and nothing else is a skill we're good at#but like. this is like if we just shucked a pelt off with no processing and showed it to you. its not even scraped yet.#there are little bits of metaphorical fat and gristle all over the underside of this. you can feel them when picking it up.#we lost the plot of the original prompt halfway through to argue about anthrocentrism. it's messy work.#like its decent prose and if we polished it a bit it could probably be decent within the constraints but it's a 40 minute prompt and sloppy#we tabbed out of the test tab and started writing pokemon fanfiction instead of polishing it. and you think it's impressive?#we know we've spent like more than ten years writing and have read a lot even before that we just forget people have such low standards#...god hopefully this doesnt read as bragging. we are having the experience of like#we get out of the most physically and mentally fatiguing experience we've had for like Years after doing the Bare Minimum to not die#we have been outputting work that is sloppy and we are fully aware of it because we are too tired to put full effort into schoolwork#and we are still getting like. “oh wow this is so good youre so good at making things”#like man. we can do better than this. teacher was like “wow youd be a great script writer” we are good at dialogue but better at descriptio#and we weight. a lot of our capacity for dialogue. in our ability to have cues human people do not have. this will not work well on-screen#also that industry is one of the Many Many Industries that are super mega fucked up rn#and we do not work well with constantly changing expectations#we hope this is a fun glimpse into our current life btw we are finally on break and god. this is great. we can sleep now.
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(chuckles) Im so good at reading comprehension and my meat is huge
#porter's lines in the preview..... I am prepared to be correct. and so so smug#cannot believe they touched upon clone politics as well. just. absolutely insane ep#fhjy spoilers#actually Im returning here to bask in what might be with the preview. this place sucks why do you save it?#that question is always so Integral to my writing brain its like being struck with lightning seeing that worded#why do you hold onto the coherence that you do? at what point do you abandon your morals?#why do you save the world? why do you do it again and again?#but very specifically with the bad kids I think itd both hit hard for them to hear it said out loud#that like. yeah! actually none of it ever has to be this way does it. all of it is started by someone and maintained by someone#you can shift the world. this fucking weirdo we're fighting is doing it right now! the door exists!#but also like 5 out of 6 of them would immediately be like fuck OFF my PARENTS LIVE HERE#and also specifically fig and gorgug would kill porter no matter what he says bc they just hate him#and it owns. this bitch should learn the consequences of working with teenagers#also I think shooting those cannons is like the closest riz has ever gotten to a moment of mindfulness#kid was doing self searching n introspection on top of those guns. eugenia got there at the breakthrough#I believe in you baby boy. rob a bank get that tuition the world is your oyster
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kaeya alberich ✧ pathfinder: choose your own adventure game
he moves with such fluid motion that he barely seems real, graceful and elegant as he rests his elbows upon the bar and folds his hands neatly under his chin.
for @venexus. inspired by his genshin fic, pathfinder, where you can vote to choose what path to take next!
#happy birthday ven! i hope you like this#thanks for giving me permission to use some of your story lines!#started as a manga coloring and now we're here#genshin impact#dailygenshin#gamingedit#kaeya alberich#genshinet#genshinedit#useraria#usergojoana#usermoh#userrack#userroh#my edits#my edits: gfx#misc: for friends#friend: ven#game: genshin impact#ch: kaeya alberich
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i honestly think the stress of my job is bad for my health tbh
#txt#negative#today someone came in & started racist hassling the other people just waiting in line#& yesterday i was Also having trouble calming down after work just like i am now bc a different person came in and started losing her shit -#-abt something someone else did#its like customer service but everythings heightened =_=#im gonna wait until the spring and then if im still tense & miserable after my vacation then im gonna quit#SPEAKING OF im. regretting inviting this friend of mine along on this vacation sooooo much. which fucking sucks bc i adore her but like;;;;;#she & i are two vastly different people when it comes to travel like shes way more detail focused & strict than me which i. super -#-appreciated when we went to montreal. but now we're going to asia & she. knows nothing about asia so it feels like she's relying on me to -#-patch the holes in her strict framework which i like. wouldnt be doing at all if it were just me 😀 i am a pathologically chill person when-#-it comes to travel. and now im like. im gonna be away from this stressful job & need everyone with an anxiety disorder to stay minimum 5ft#-away from me until i come back. except i will have one such person right next to me the whole time 😀 WHICH AGAIN SUCKS BC I LOVE HANGING#-OUT W/ HER IN LIKE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER SITUATION. LIKE;; INCLUDING OTHER TRAVEL SITUATIONS#ugh sorry i had to get this out of my system. i think im just sad my Fuck Off To Asia fantasy is becoming less that & more of a chore#shes also gonna be dependent on me for part of the trip bc i speak chinese & she doesnt. which like. i thought would be a necessary -#- unpleasantness for a greater good time when i was thinking to invite her.#i cannot stress enough how this is regret toward myself & not spite toward her.#its like i packed my most beloved tank top to go on a ski trip ya feel
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Anyone else thinking about a late 70s/80s era where a severely relapsing louis seeks out a daniel whose addiction has just gotten worse post-interview, featuring the worst bender in vampire and human recent history intermingled with a truly toxic and codependent romance... and of course who's there, with mop and mindlessness, to clean it up... by erasing their memories once again...
#to make it even funner lets imagine devils minion happening right after that#'you are a bad influence on louis. but im not louis. start running now fascinating boy'#danlou#do yall see my vision.....#months of louis feeding on daniel whos high on the most insane designer drugs the era has to offer#months of louis draining other boys while daniel tries hard to pretend like he doesnt love it when louis kills in front of him#months before daniel says see louis... we're having so much fun... this could be forever... we could drain these boys together#i need you to picture that line from the devils minion#'dont hit me. you might kill me' <- but its addressed to louis. do you see it#also theres at least a few nights when louis starts crying and calling daniel claudia and daniel pretends like he was too wasted to hear it
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Got excited to see you in my notifications again. How's it been?
Maybe things will get more lively here. Who knows?
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#identity v ask blog#identity v the embalmer#i was looking through my past posts n i realized that i prefer the lines on my laptop rather than my ipad#so i started up my laptop which i legitimately have not touched in about 2 years#it still works. n it has all of my old settings saved#ngl i almost cried when i drew this. it really feels like reconnecting with an old friend#i was going to go for the simpler purple replies that i used to do. but the wave of nostalgia just pushed me to do a standard one instead#its really been too long. drawing on my ipad cant come close to this feeling#sorry ive just been trying to battle the seasonal depression thats been starting to seep in so im more sentimental than i should be#work as a teacher means that i also get the holidays off. so i have about a month or so to do what i want before work swarms me again#n i want to do things for the blog again#anyway guess we're back for now. sop is ready to be harassed again
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