#now we're a baby doe. or bambi. or hey maybe chou was there. we were very put together--if a bit flighty. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

medical-angel · 11 months ago

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Came out as a lesbian to my grandma. It went fine. She wasn't happy or supportive, but she also didn't say or do anything that she thought would hurt me. She just went "Why would you DECIDE that?" and I said "I didn't decide that." And I didn't say anything else. And I didn't look defensive or hurt. I just gave her the doe-eyed sympathetic stare like I felt sorry for her but happy for myself--the gaze of an ambivalent god--and she eventually went okay and didn't talk about it again. That's good. For her, it's good. She might bring it up later, but I honestly don't care that I'm a lesbian, and she can feel the same way.

Idk, it's just that I was sexually assaulted again this year (third time's the charm, babey) and I promised our most upset alter that if it happened a third time I would either come out or kill myself, so this seemed the lesser of two evils.

#i also dk who was fronting. barbie was there because it was HER bit. we rehearsed and everything.#but she short circuited and i think she mostly stepped out before we could get to the lesbian part.#now we're a baby doe. or bambi. or hey maybe chou was there. we were very put together--if a bit flighty.#it's hard not being able to rehearse conversations before you have them because you have no idea how someone will react.#honestly i guess i didn't have to say it. i could've just continued doing nothing.#but idk i have a friend who is a boy and i'm on BC now because of a hormone issue and i started having stress-induced psychosis #(with visual/audio hallucinations and delusions that i was a reality shifter that astral projected into another universe #and that i broke the matrix and was always constantly operating 'out of bounds' you could say??)#so in the end i think it started to make me crazy and that's why i finally caved. deal with the root issue and the delusions will go away.#psychosis #coming out #homophobia tw #tw sa mention #suicide mention

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