#now that i think abt it. that class is a very uncomfy colonial environment and it doesn't feel valuable for my personal goals lol...

[cqcandchill]

ehshdh not my pre-honours course prof emailing "COMING TO CLASS IS FOR PARTICIPATION MARKS AND I DO TAKE ATTENDANCE EVERY CLASS" making me feel like she's staring directly at me after i've skipped almost two weeks worth of attendance..........

i'm sorry but forcing me to sit through multi-hour CV workshops when you're only reviewing CVs for students who haven't found a supervisor yet when i've had one for 2 years now, and i've not only had multiple professional jobs but participated in many research projects aka already know how to curate a CV/email professionally, is borderline torture...... there's usually like 2-4 students who give all the feedback so it just. feels like a waste of my time!!! i cant focus on other work if people are talking so it's easier to skip.

idk man. it would be one thing if we were all sharing and doing round table style feedback where everyone has a turn to speak... i don't want to come across as arrogant or don't value sharing, bc i don't feel i'm better than my peers, i'm simply further in my journey due to age + experience and i don't think the setup is conducive to real participation by everyone there. and this feels like the least collaborative environment for anyone who isn't an absolute baby beginner at life and i am struggling to manage my frustration as somebody who is Not That.

so many undergrad courses would feel less miserable if they weren't structured like highschool Lite™️ but i guess that's the demographic so. help me i am in hell