#now she doesn't kill herself more like succumbs to injuries/fatigue/heartbreak but. yeah

[foxboyclit]

oh boy this is a little bit @thegreatobsesso's fault but now im thinking of ocs and their experiences with loss and mourning

howl and fae have half elf children and they're full elves :) that's always been something ive had in the back of my head. i can't see either of them having any more kids afterwards so take that as you will

(fae's especially fucked because their wife is also an orc, whoops)

faeryl i think is caught up in grief so it taints their memories and perceptions. they lament about not being a good enough parent and not enjoying the time they had together when that is. not at all true. i do see them later on working in a little song for their wife and son when performing elistraeen rituals. just their voice in a short, haunting song praying for their goddess to care for them, and to eventually reunite them

out of all my characters howl has the best relationship with death. they know that this is coming, that it'll hurt, a lot, but i think the exact feelings are something they can't prepare for. they take care of themselves during mourning but it takes way longer to get to an okay point than when they lost like. friends or pets. i do think they fall into another depressive episode after agnes' passing, because she was a huge motivator for them to work on their issues. religious rituals are unsurprisingly a huge part of them coping

the nydallas. there is no one without the other. ive briefly mentioned it before, but iphis does die first and it destroys minisstra. when he falls she goes into a rage where her only goal is to take as many people down with her as possible. she knew how entwined they were, but she suspected that the worst case scenario would be leaving iphis behind. guess she was wrong!

and chena'stra. she wants ang'dra dead SO bad but also can't stand when that woman leaves for more than like. three days. she would find the loneliness crushing, there's something hollow where triumph should be

i don't have an ending for these ramblings but. yeah.