#now he has an eating disorder and hates his body and struggles with hygiene so that nobody will want him

[skunkes]

why doesn't talon like looking young?

dis was gonna be in the little lore write up but i still have to iron out many details surrounding it ➡️ connecting to my general vampire lore....anyway the answer is abuse at the hands of higher rank vampires and mortal men who sought out young "boys" just like him + also he already hated that he would never get to age bc people would treat him weird even before all that (as in, they'd just treat him like he was stupid because he looks so young)

[mxenigmatic]

2020’s Self Care Books for Trying Times

With Covid-19 a global pandemic that is still lingering in the air, and keeping our connections at a social distance, added how here at NYPL our librarians miss the frequent interactions with our patrons, I was contemplating on ways to keep our reading connected, our souls warm, and our health having its self care. Before google, I’d rely on the plethora of information our branches hold on any challenge in life I’d be facing. Now with a myriad of problems we can tackle, and resources we can all use to improve our lives, I wanted to tackle grounding and elevating ourselves to cope with our surroundings, than advice I can provide on financial, relationship, life goals, etc.

In this blog “2020’s Self Care Books 4 Trying Times” I’ve comprised my 20 favorite titles for the year 2020 on wellness, people’s journeys, and how health experts can help guide us to a calm and vibrant place for our wellbeing. From parenting tips, to self acceptance, coping with a mental health disorder, or even self care rituals, the need for healthy habits is a topic we all can relate and rely on to keep us striving through this winter, and being united through our current unstable climate. We should never be ashamed of our experiences, asking for help, and addressing challenges in our lives to be at peace with our pasts, content with our present, and hopeful about our futures.

What is Self-care, according to very well mind, describes a conscious act one takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many forms self-care may take. It could be ensuring you get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air.

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness refers to being in the moment. This means feeling what our bodies feel, letting ourselves think without judging our thoughts, and being aware of our environment. It is about paying attention on purpose to both what is happening inside and outside of you.

ADULT

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

Topics: Professional Development, Success, Psych Evaluation

One of the most inspiring and impactful books ever written, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has captivated readers for nearly three decades. It has transformed the lives of presidents and CEOs, educators and parents—millions of people of all ages and occupations. Now, this 30th anniversary edition of the timeless classic commemorates the wisdom of the 7 habits with modern additions from Sean Covey. The 7 habits have become famous and are integrated into everyday thinking by millions and millions of people. Why? Because they work!With Sean Covey's added takeaways on how the habits can be used in our modern age, the wisdom of the 7 habits will be refreshed for a new generation of leaders.

Stay Positive: Encouraging Quotes and Messages to Fuel Your Life With Positive Energy by Jon Gordon

Topics: Self Help, Affirmations, Optimism

Stay Positive is more than a phrase. It's an approach to life that says when you get knocked down, you'll get back up and find a way forward one faithful step and optimistic day at a time. Start your day with a message from the book, or pick it up anytime you need a mental boost. You can start from the beginning, or open the book to any page and find a message that speaks to you. The book is a go-to resource for anyone wanting to inject a healthy dose of positivity into their life

$9 Therapy: Semi-Capitalist Solutions to Your Emotional Problems by Megan Reid and Nick Greene

Topics: Life Skills/Hacks, Self Care Rituals, Budgeting

A collection of the authors' favorite life hacks and mini-upgrades, such as craft cocktails on the cheap or tips for a perfectly planned staycation. Sometimes it takes as little as nine dollars to turn your life around. How to find simple pleasures in a pricey, wellness-obsessed world.

You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance by Chani Nicholas

Topics: Astrology, Self Acceptance

A revolutionary empowerment book that uses astrology as a tool for self-discovery, success, and self-care from the beloved astrologer Chani Nicholas, a media darling with a loyal following of one million monthly readers.

TEEN

Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents by Matthew Brensilver

Topics: Mindfulness, Educational Guides, Learning Disabilities, Reflections

Effectively sharing mindfulness with teenagers depends on distinct skill sets . . . done well, it is incredibly joyous." Matthew Brensilver, JoAnna Hardy and Oren Jay Sofer provide a powerful guide to help teachers master the essential competencies needed to successfully share mindfulness practices with teens and adolescents. Incorporating anecdotes from actual teaching, they blend the latest scientific research with innovative, original techniques for making the practices accessible and interesting to this age group. This text is an indispensable handbook for mindfulness instruction in its own right, and a robust companion volume for teachers using The Mindful Schools Curriculum for Adolescents

The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color by Virgie Tovar

Topics: Self Esteem, Plus Size Positivity, Hygiene

Every day we see body ideals depicted in movies, magazines, and social media. And, all too often, these outdated standards make us feel like we need to change how we look and who we are. The truth is that many teens feel self-conscious about their bodies and being a teen girl of color is hard in unique ways. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you're surrounded by these unrealistic, and problematic images of what bodies are "supposed" to look like? This book is an unapologetic guide to help you embrace radical body positivity. You'll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty and bodies; celebrate what makes you unique and powerful; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You'll also learn how to spot diet culture and smash your noisy inner critic so you can start loving your body. It's time to create your own definition of beautiful and recognize that your body is amazing. It's time for a self-love revolution!

Out!: How To Be Your Authentic Self by Miles McKenna

Topics: Coming Out, Self Acceptance, Family Dynamics

Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate YA guide to the queer lifestyle. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small--whether you're exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life."

Dancing at the Pity Party: A Dead Mom Graphic Memoir by Tyler Feder

Topics: Grief Counseling, Coping with terminal illness, Bereavement. Family Estrangement

Tyler Feder shares her story of her mother's first oncology appointment to facing reality as a motherless daughter in this frank and refreshingly funny graphic memoir.

Superpowered: Transform Anxiety Into Courage, Confidence, and Resilience by Renee Jain and Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Topics: Health, Fitness, Selt Esteem.

The perfect tool for children facing new social and emotional challenges in an increasingly disconnected world! This how-to book from two psychology experts—packed with fun graphics and quizzes—will help kids transform stress, worry, and anxiety

Teen Guide to Mental Health by Don Nardo

Topics: Teens, Mental Health, Body Image, Puberty

Todays teens face and are expected to deal with a wide array of personal, social, and other issues involving home-life, school, dating, body image, sexual orientation, major life transitions, and in some cases physical and mental problems, including eating disorders and depression. This volume examines how many teens have learned to cope with and survive these often stressful trials and tribulations of modern youth.

KIDS

Turtle Boy by Evan Wolkenstein

Topics: Social Life, Friends, Relationships, School Stress

Seventh grade is not going well for Will Levine. Kids at school bully him because of his funny-looking chin. His science teacher finds out about the turtles he spent his summer collecting from the marsh behind school an orders him to release them back into the wild. And for his Bar Mitzvah community service project, he has to go to the hospital to visit RJ, an older boy struggling with an incurable disease. Unfortunately, Will hates hospitals. At first, the boys don't get along, but then RJ shares his bucket list with Will. Among the things he wants to do: ride a roller coaster, go to a concert and a school dance, swim in the ocean. To Will, happiness is hanging out in his room, alone, preferably with his turtles. But as RJ's disease worsens, Will realizes he needs to tackle the bucket list on his new friend's behalf before it's too late. It seems like an impossible mission, way outside Will's comfort zone. But as he completes each task with RJ's guidance, Will learns that life is too short to live in a shell.

How To Make A Better World: For Every Kid Who Wants To Make A Difference by Keilly Swift

Topics: Activism, Human Rights, Organizing

If you are a kid with big dreams and a passion for what is right, you're a world-changer in the making. There's a lot that can be changed by just one person, if you know what to do. Start by making yourself into the awesome person you want to be by learning all about self-care and kindness. Using those skills, work your way up to creating activist campaigns to tackle climate change or social injustice. This fun and inspiring guide to making the world a better place and becoming a good citizen is packed with ideas and tips for kids who want to know how to make a difference. From ideas as small as creating a neighborhood lending library to important ideas such as public speaking and how to talk about politics, How to Make a Better World is a practical guide to activism for awesome kids.

All About Anxiety by Carrie Lewis

Anxiety. It's an emotion that rears its head almost every day, from the normal worries and concerns that most of us experience, to outright fear when something scary happens, to the anxiety disorders, that many kids live with daily. But what causes anxiety? And what can we do about it? All About Anxiety tackles these questions from every possible angle. Readers will learn what's going on in their brain and central nervous system when they feel anxious. They'll learn about the evolutionary reasons for fear and anxiety and that anxiety isn't always a bad thing--except for when it is! Most importantly, kids will discover new strategies to manage their anxiety so they can live and thrive with anxiety

Dictionary for a better world: poems, quotes, and anecdotes from A to Z by Irene Latham

Topics: Inspiration, Self Help, Advice

Organized as a dictionary, entries in this book for middle-grade readers present words related to creating a better, more inclusive world. Each word is explored via a poem, a quote from an inspiring person, and a short personal anecdote from one of the co-authors, a prompt for how to translate the word into action, and an illustration".

I feel... meh by DJ Corchin

(E-book)Topics: Health, Fitness, Management

This series helps kids recognize, express, and deal with the roller coaster of emotions they feel every day. It has been celebrated by therapists, psychologists, teachers, and parents as wonderful tools to help children develop self-awareness for their feelings and those of their friends. Sometimes I feel meh and I don't want to play. I don't want to read and I have nothing to say. Sometimes you just feel...meh. You don't really feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. You're not even sure how you're feeling inside. Is that bad? With fun, witty illustrations and simple, straightforward text, I Feel...Meh tackles apathy—recognizing it as a valid emotion, while also offering practical steps to get you out of your emotional slump. It's the perfect way for kids—and adults—who are feeling gray to find some joy again!

Violet Shrink by Christine Baldacchino

Topics: Phobias, Relationships, Social Skills

Violet Shrink doesn't like parties. Or bashes, or gatherings. Lots of people and lots of noise make Violet's tummy ache and her hands sweat. She would much rather spend time on her own, watching the birds in her backyard, reading comics, or listening to music through her purple headphones. The problem is that the whole Shrink family loves parties with loud music and games and dancing. At cousin Char's birthday party, Violet hides under a table and imagines she is a shark gliding effortlessly through the water, looking for food. And at Auntie Marlene and Uncle Leli's anniversary bash, Violet sits alone at the top of the stairs, imagining she is a slithering snake way up in the branches. When Violet learns that the Shrink family reunion is fast approaching, she musters up the courage to have a talk with her dad. In this thoughtful story about understanding and acceptance, Violet's natural introversion and feelings of social anxiety are normalized when she and her father reach a solution together. Christine Baldacchino's warm text demonstrates the role imagination often plays for children dealing with anxiety, and the power of a child expressing their feelings to a parent who is there to listen. Carmen Mok's charming illustrations perfectly capture Violet's emotions and the vibrancy of her imagination. A valuable contribution to books addressing mental health."-- Provided by publisher.

Check out this link to a presentation by NYPL’s Children’s Librarians, Sarah West and Justine Toussaint on Mindfulness/Social-Emotional Self-Esteem Picture Book Spotlight. Featuring popular book titles in our database of the past few years promoting kids well beings!

Pre-2020 Books

Aphorism by Franz Kafka

Topics: Life Quotes, Recovery, Future Planning

For the first time, a single volume that collects all of the aphorisms penned by this universally acclaimed twentieth-century literary figure. Kafka twice wrote aphorisms in his lifetime. The first effort was a series of 109, known as the Zurau Aphorisms, which were written between September 1917 and April 1918, and originally published posthumously by his friend, Max Brod, in 1931. These aphorisms reflect on metaphysical and theological issues--as well as the occasional dog. The second sequence of aphorisms, numbering 41, appears in Kafka's 1920 diary dating from January 6 to February 29. It is in these aphorisms, whose subject is "He," where Kafka distills the unexpected nature of experience as one shaped by exigency and possibility."

This Book Loves You by PewDiePie

Topics: Life Skills, Inspiration, Food 4 Thought

A popular blogger shares humorous pieces of advice and positivity, including "Never forget you are beautiful compared to a fish" and "Every day is a new fresh start to stay in bed."

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life by Mark Manson

Topic: Self Help, Happiness, Motivation

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be 'positive' all the time and instead become better at handling adversity. For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. But those days are over. 'Fuck positivity, ' Mark Manson says. 'Let's be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.' For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book. Manson makes the argument--backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, 'Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.' Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek. 'In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.' Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives."

Zen Pencils: Cartoon Quotes From Inspirational Folks by Gavin Aung Than

Topics: Writing Development, Expression, Quotes

Gavin Aung Than, an Australian graphic designer turned cartoonist, started the weekly Zen Pencils blog in February 2012. He describes his motivation for launching Zen Pencils: I was working in the boring corporate graphic design industry for eight years before finally quitting at the end of 2011 to pursue my passion for illustration and cartooning. At my old job, when my boss wasn't looking, I would waste time reading Wikipedia pages, main biographies about people whose lives were a lot more interesting than mine. Their stories and quotes eventually inspired me to leave my job to focus on what I really wanted to do. The idea of taking these inspiring quotes, combining them with my love of drawing, and sharing them with others led to the creation of Zen Pencils.

By: @Mx.Enigma

She/They/Queen

[runoncallie-blog]

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Calamus, and Then a Little More

“I don’t wanna tell you guys how to live your life, but I’m pretty much sure this could be fixed with ice cream..”

  General Information

Name: Calamus Custer Name Meaning: His name means “cane,” “grass,” or “reed.” Pronunciation: CAL-uh-MUS CUS-tur Other Names: Callie

Sex: Assigned male at birth Gender: Male Age: 24

Birth Date: June 10th

Birth Place: He was born in Tchulla, Mississipi, in the local hospital.

Species: Human Home-Planet: Earth Nationality: Mixed white American Occupation: Café Barista/Waiter

Dominant Hand: Right-handed. Astrological Sign: Gemini Blood Type: O-

  Appearance

Main Appearance: Calamus is tall and slender, with a nice build, a slim waist and decent muscles, and long legs. He’s got a pretty damn nice silhouette and is naturally quite pretty, as well as putting a lot of effort into his appearance. He’s been growing his blonde hair out for years, and it goes down to his mid-back at this point. He usually puts it up into complications braids and buns and loves to play with it and pamper it. He has a somewhat rectangular face, with prominent cheekbones, a Greek nose, a defined brow and deep-set brown eyes. He has fair skin, pink lips, a strong jaw, and his forehead wrinkles a little when he frowns. He has a very small scar on his lip, some faded track-mark scars on his wrists, and some heavy scarring on his upper thighs and butt. His right ear-lobe is scarred. Overall, he’s a very attractive person, and is quietly proud of this, though he doesn’t have a ton of confidence in himself.

  Image

Wardrobe: Calamus likes anything kind of retro, and has a lot of clothes from thrift stores or second-hand. He has a lot of tight jeans and band tees. He doesn’t have a very varied closet, but likes the excuse to dress androgynously and wear dresses or skirts whenever he has the excuse… But he does this rarely.

Accessories: He always keeps one hoop earring in his left ear. Musical Instruments: He knows a little bit of piano that he learned at school, but doesn’t know a lot, though he desperately wants to learn more. Piercings: His left ear is pierced. Hygiene: This is typically Calamus’s main form of self-care. He loves long, warm showers and baths with bubbles or bath bombs. He does one or the other almost every day as a chance to rewind and likes to keep himself looking clean and feeling put-together. While he was homeless, he rarely had a chance to clean himself properly and keep himself clean, so now retaining this is incredibly important to him. He can frequently be caught washing his hands or brushing his teeth for no reason other than he feels like it and he can. Makeup: He doesn’t wear makeup, but he frequently wants to… Perfume / Cologne: He has one thing of cranberry-cinnamon body spray that he got as a gift one time, and frequently wears. Scent: He keeps everything on his person a bit obsessively clean, so he often smells of laundry, soap, or hand sanitizer... Or coffee. Tattoos: None

  Health

Diet: Calamus eats fairly simply and doesn’t have very much skill in terms of cooking, though he’s trying very hard to learn. He eats a lot of beans and rice, which makes up a majority of his diet, as well as pasta, chicken, and soup. Everything he eats is fairly cheap, but he makes a very real effort to be healthy. Ice cream is his one treat that he allows himself, most of the time. He has a huge sweet tooth. Exercise: He likes to go on a run or at least a walk at least once a day if he can get away with it. Fitness: Calamus is very much in shape, as his appearance is something he values and he hinges his self-worth upon. Posture: He usually tries to stand tall and sit straight, but will recede into a more timid, smaller posture very quickly if startled or intimidated.

Abnormalities: While Calamus is a fairly healthy person physically, he struggles a lot with his mental health, self-esteem, sleep, and past traumas. Aids: Though he needs glasses, and probably needs medication for his mental health and/or sleep aids as well, he doesn’t know or doesn’t have any way to access these things, and is currently living without them. Allergies: Calamus has no allergies. Diseases: Calamus has no diseases. Illnesses: Calamus has no illnesses. Disorders: Though undiagnosed, Calamus experiences generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as on-and-off insomnia and frequent migraines due to stress and strain from his eyes. Broken Bones: Calamus has never broken a bone. Reason for Health: Calamus’s mental health issues stem from the abusive environment he grew up in as a child and his time as a homeless person in New York City.

  Voice

Accent / Dialect: Though he’s trying to wean himself off of it, Calamus still has a fairly strong and noticeable Southern accent. Voice: Calamus has a deep, raspy voice. It is deep, steady, and clear, and he is usually very audible, even when he is upset or crying. Laughter: Calamus always tries to hide it or hold it in when he laughs, frequently covering up his mouth with his hands. Impediments: N/A

  Psychology

Languages: English Personality: Calamus has a lot of reasons to be timid and anxious, and really, he has a lot of these two features inside of him. He looks long and hard before he leaps, and is very scared of change or any sort of risk. He prefers to play it safe most of the time, and always fear or assumes the worst. He is easily intimidated or shot down and has a difficult time advocating for himself. However, he has a naturally friendly, charismatic, and chipper disposition. He can be incredibly charming when he wants to be and is horribly empathetic and sweet. He hates being alone for too long, and always prefers to surround himself with loved ones and physical affection. He has a hard time with being ignored or feeling alone and takes any sort of criticism or snideness very hard. He’s a sensitive soul, and gets upset, offended, or his feelings damaged very easily. He has a tendency to talk down about himself and blame himself for any shortcomings or bad luck that occurs in his own or friends’ lives. He holds onto a lot of guilt and has a habit of internalizing things, though he is often very outwardly emotional. He gets excited easily, gets very worked up and flustered when he’s angry, and cries incredibly easily when he’s upset or when he’s been put down. He’s ashamed of his past in a lot of ways and wants in so many ways to be better than what he is. Though he doesn’t necessarily believe that he has the ability to achieve very much, and assumes that others think the worst of him, he is ambitious and very hard-working and wants to get in far in life as he possibly can. He strives to achieve independence and be able to take care of himself without relying on others. He feels guilty when others help him out and doesn’t want to drag anyone else down. He thinks he should be able to handle his own life by himself without reaching out to others, but is also always willing to lend a hand to anyone around him who may need it. He’s curious and has a natural thirst for knowledge, but doesn’t consider himself to be smart, and has a large mischievous streak to him. He loves to explore and get into things he probably shouldn’t and learn new things. He is a bit selfish and becomes defensive quickly. He’s very protective of himself and those around him but is also very sweet, loyal, and funny. He’s naturally rather effeminate and kind of a show-off at times and loves to have fun and get physical affection and validation from others whenever he can get it.

  Philosophy

Outlook on Life: Calamus tries to very optimistic and grateful for everything that he has in life, but sometimes has a hard time actually sticking to these ideals. He’s fearful and doesn’t have high hopes for himself, though he can’t help but dream of great achievements and beautiful things for himself. Philosophy / Motto: “Love what you have.”

  Character

Priorities: Their main goal right now is making their way through life without relying on other’s goodwill, making enough money to get themselves a good education and a good job, and find some security in their life. Self Confidence: Though they often act very confident outwardly, or pretend that they are, they have very little confidence in their own skills and abilities. They have a lot of doubt and often expect the worst. Self Control: Calamus has a great deal of self-control, and tends to bottle up his anger and ignore larger conflicts instead of confronting them. He pushes himself very hard and holds himself to very strict expectations. He demands a lot from himself and keeps himself on task. Self Esteem: Callie has very poor self-esteem, and look down on themselves. They downplay all their own achievements and see themselves as a failure. They blame most things on themselves.

Quirks: Calamus is always playing with his hair, and has a habit of taking charge of situations without meaning to. He is a natural leader, but without the confidence to declare himself one. Hobbies: Singing, dancing, doing complicated hairstyles, exploring, sciencey things, watching comedy shows, sewing, embroidery, running. Closet Hobbies: He really loves to dress up and try on skirts and dresses, but tends to keep this on the down-low. Guilty Pleasures: He ADORES ice cream.

Habits: He habitually sleeps on his couch instead of on his bed. Nervous Tics: When he gets nervous, he’ll chew on the ends of his hair, flinch, make himself smaller, and back himself up against a wall or try to find nearby exits. Soft Spots: He has a HUGE soft spot for babies and little kids.

Most Prized Possession: Honestly, his most prized possession is his apartment itself. He values having a home of his own almost more than anything else. Collections: He basically collects free samples of makeup and hair care products.

Regrets: He has a LOT of regrets. Sometimes, he regrets running away. Sometimes, he regrets waiting so long. Sometimes, he regrets his lack of education. He regrets leaving his friends. He regrets his choices. He regrets getting involved in drug and sex, he regrets trusting the people he did, he regrets the things he did to get arrested… Secrets: He keeps his former drug use, his family history, and his opinions of himself. Darkest Secret: His extended drug abuse while he was homeless is one of his closest guarded secrets. He hasn’t really talked to anyone about it… Ever. Pet Peeves: People who are too loud when it’s not necessary, people who take charge even when they don’t know what they’re doing, baby boomer customers.

Phobias: He has a very real fear of physical pain and being trapped, of making others angry with him or disappointing those around him, and of embarrassing himself or his friends.

  Preferences

Likes: fancy things, singing, dancing, pop music, fashion, make-up, Beyoncé, the 70’s and 80’s, anything vintage or retro, making friends, looking good, attention, metal bands, make-up and hair tutorials on YouTube, the piano, racing games, learning, science, exploring the dump, junkyards, woods, making people laugh, pineapple, dogs Dislikes: family, being judged, prying eyes, loud noises or yelling, anything overly salty, belts, flying bugs, his childhood, thunderstorms, anything made entirely of leather (tacky and uncomfortable,) rules, the summer, sudden noises, the color orange, prying questions, bills

Favorites: Caramel ice cream, german shepherds, goldfish crackers, bright sunny days, bright colors, Beyoncé.

  Combat

Ability: N/A Position: N/A Weapon: None Element: N/A Martial Arts: None, knows basic ‘street fighting’ skills. Strengths: Larger, muscular, has a decent amount of strength and agility, could probably hold his own very well based only on physical capabilities. Weaknesses: Locks up in physical conflicts, is afraid of hurting others, panics and shuts down. Restrictions: PTSD

  Home, Work, and Education

Abode: They live in a small, somewhat shitty studio apartment; but it’s home to them.

Pets: None Roommates: None

Sleep Patterns: They’re pretty bad at sleep. They’re typically only able to sleep for a few hours at a time before they wake up, either due to nightmares or insomnia, pace, and then settle back on their couch. Then repeat, and onto the bed. They have a very hard time getting to sleep at night and has semi-frequent nightmares that they deal with regarding their past. They are a very light sleeper and will wake up at a moment’s notice at any sort of noise. Eating Habits: Calamus loves to eat, though he tries to be healthy, and has a habit of hoarding food and consuming pretty much anything he gets his hands on. He will never, ever, ever turn down free food.

  Social

Mother: His mother is a woman named Gracie Custer. She dropped out of high school and married her boyfriend when she got pregnant at the age of sixteen; an uncommon occurrence where she lived. Though she is a sweet woman, and hard-working, she has a hard time finding her own path and has a habit of allowing others to decide things for her, such as her husband. She was raised with the rigid rules of the Bible Belt and lives by them rigorously in many ways that are unhealthy. Despite this, she is kind and giving, but easily flustered and annoyed as well. She loves babies but struggles to handle all her children in the small space which they live. She works at a local corner store. She loved her son, Calamus, but largely sat idly by whenever he was beaten, and often told him that he was ‘asking for it’ and wouldn’t have to take whippings if he just ‘followed the rules.’ Father: Calamus’s father is a man named Hank Custer, who works in construction. He is not very in touch with his emotions and is an incredibly hard-working and proud man. He values appearance, obedience to God, and doing things correctly, and he and his oldest son never got along. What was initially just conflict and discipline eventually grew to serious abuse as Calamus got older and bolder, and he would frequently beat or hit Callie growing up until Calamus ran away from home at the age of sixteen Guardians: Callie was raised by his mother and father. Siblings: While Calamus lived at home, his mother had ten other children; Jethro, Atticus, Juniper, Chrysanthemum, Caspar, Elseth, Serafina, November, Clyde, and Patience. Unfortunately, Juniper, Chrysanthemum, and Caspar all passed away during the Virus outbreak. Callie was forced by circumstance to play a large role in raising his younger siblings. His family lived in poverty, and both his parents had to work, so Callie frequently would stay home from school and skip class in order to look after his younger siblings when his parents couldn’t get the time off or couldn’t afford a sitter. Consequently, Calamus was held back several years in school, and always struggled with grades. Calamus got along decently with most of his siblings and was especially close with Juniper, and Patience, who was only a baby when he left home. He and his brother, Jethro, however, were constantly at odds. Jethro was very much a daddy’s boy, and constantly wanted their father’s approval, and so he took on the same attitude as him towards Calamus. He would frequently tease or tattle on Callie growing up. Unbeknownst to Calamus, his mother has had three more children since he left home; Noah, Hazel, and Calliope. Children: Calamus has no children. Best Friend: Audrey Zaccadelli Close Friends: Levi Price, Alex Temple, Marcus Bailey, Friends: Darius Rufus, Mary Sheehan, Angel Rodriguez Acquaintances: Marriage Law Group Rivals: N/A Enemies: N/A

  Romance

First Love: His first love was one of his best friends growing up, Lucas Hughs. He was part of Calamus’s ‘posse’ and the two of them would frequently hang out together, but Calamus found himself wanting to be more than Lucas’s friend. The two of them were close, and at one point, the two of them kissed; but Lucas decided he didn’t feel that way about boys. So Callie let it go. They remained close friends, and Calamus would still consider him to be one of his closest friends, even though they haven’t been able to see each other in years. Love Interests: N/A Significant Other: N/A Sexual and Romantic Orientation(s): gay

  Reactions

Angry: When Callie is angry, he tends to get really vocal and will often tell you exactly why he’s angry, which is a stark contrast to a lot of his other reactions to negative emotion. Anxious: An anxious Callie will talk a lot, fidget, and try to flit around whatever subject is causing him stress, and focus on distractions instead. It’s hard for him to get anything done when he’s very anxious. Conflicted: When conflicted, Calamus will often seek the advice of others; mainly those he trusts. Criticized: Callie takes criticism incredibly poorly, and almost always takes it purposefully and becomes downtrodden or depressed once it’s delivered. Depressed: Calamus withdraws and often becomes more short-fused or even violent. He doesn’t seek social company or speak very much. Will often fall back into patterns of substance abuse. Embarrassed: He becomes very flustered and quiets down, trying to step away from the spotlight; for once. Excited: When excited, Callie is bouncing off the walls, ready to speak about everything to everyone. He wants to share his feelings and thoughts with anyone who will give him the time of day. Frightened: When Callie is frightened, their first instinct is to usually flee, and get far away from or protect themselves from whatever is the source of their fear. Guilty: Callie can’t deal with guilt. It eats them alive. They don’t speak of up, or really break it up externally, but rather hides it away and lets it bother them for years and years, slowly picking away at his insides. Happy: When he’s happy, Calamus is sunshine; bright and full of smiles and cheer and compliments and bold ideas. Humiliated: He’ll almost certainly cry and flee the situation. Nervous: He usually plays with his hair a lot, and talks a bit more than often, asking a lot of questions. Offended: If Callie is offended, they’ll usually get very angry and tell you exactly what they think of you. Praised: Calamus gets very bashful when he’s complimented, and laughs and flushes a lot, but he totally loves it. Rejected: Typically, he becomes discouraged and embarrassed. He retreats and takes time for himself, and pities himself for a while, before he’s ready to try again. Sad: Over the years, Calamus had learned the explicit value of a good cry, and this is one of his most powerful tools when dealing with negative emotions. Stressed: When he’s stressed, Callie will often kick it into high-drive, and work twice as far in a result.

  Biography

Background: Calamus was born in the deep south of Mississippi, the firstborn to two high school drop-outs living far below the poverty line in a trailer park. Through the years, they had six other children, all the way up until Calamus was fifteen. Maybe more after that. He doesn’t really know.

Growing up, Calamus didn’t have the same interests as a lot of other boys his age. He loved the idea of having long, beautiful hair, wearing his mother’s make-up and clothes, dancing, and singing. He liked things like trucks and exploring the woods and making things blow up and racing, too. But no one ever worried about that. The more prominent these interests became, and the more his bold personality began to show, the more his family tried to squash it down. His father, in particular, a man who highly valued hard work, obedience, and image, often clashed with his eldest son. He frequently punished him for being too feminine, for shaming their family, for not working hard enough, and anything else that happened to piss him off, and Calamus was no stranger to neither his belt nor the back of his hand growing up.

Calamus was naturally very charismatic and charming, and surprisingly, didn’t have a difficult time making friends in his neighborhood. While he faced a fair deal of bullying and discrimination at school over the years, he built up a small “following” of boys who lived in the same trailer park as him and were more open-minded than their parents. He spent most of his time wandering the streets with them and sleep over at their houses. They were close-knit. They would protect each other even at self-sacrifice, laugh and play together, and go along with Calamus’ whims. Doing complicated hair tutorials from Youtube with the blonde locks that Calamus had been passionately growing out since he was small, recreating music videos, exploring the local dump and racing through the town. This was what protected him and kept him going for a very long time, and what made him stay, despite everything else that happened. His family, the virus, the troubles at school. When Calamus was freshly sixteen, however, he and his father had a severe altercation after they found out that Callie had secretly pierced their right ear some time ago, typically hidden by his long hair. By the end of the night, Calamus had a split lip, a limp, and a buzzcut. Leaving their friends behind was the hardest thing Calamus ever had to do, but it was at this point that they decided that they couldn’t stand living in the same tiny town with nothing on the horizon and no adults caring about what went on at home. He hitch-hiked his way out of town, New York bound, and didn’t look back.

Earliest Memory: One of Callie’s earliest memories was when he was around two years old, and got into his mom’s stuff in her room. He ate an entire tube of lipstick because he thought that was how it was used and how to make his lips red and then threw up later. His mother was sympathetic, but his father spanked him until he cried when he found out about it.   Fondest Memory: Callie’s fondest memory is a tie; between hanging out with his roving gang of friends back in Mississippi, after a very long fall afternoon. They were all piled atop a junk car like seals on a rock in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by this endless field and watching the sunset while they talked about nothing in particular. The other contender is the first time he got his baby sister, Patience, to fall asleep in his arms. Typically, she would only cry or fuss or stay up if anyone but her mother held her. But when he laid down and put her on his chest and she drifted off, that was one of the warmest feelings Calamus ever had. Worst Memory: The time he was beaten for piercing his ear before he ran away from home. Everything after that was awful, too, but the realization that his father didn’t care for his mental or emotional wellbeing at all, and he and the rest of his family and all their neighbors would always value appearances more than him, stung worst of all.

[a4autism-blog]

Sensory Terms and what do they really mean

Sensory Processing Disorder or SPD is a complex disorder of the brain which effects both children and adults alike.  Sensory processing is how we take in information which we gather through our senses and then process it into things we hear, see, smell, taste and feel.  People with sensory processing disorder however gather all this information differently.  They can sometimes get too much of the information which is sensory overload or too little which prompts sensory seeking behaviours.  These behaviours are catagorised into different sections depending on if they have too much or too little sensory information.  Basically there is being under sensitive and over sensitive.  These are also referred to as sensory avoiding or sensory seeking.  I will stick with under and over for this.  Basically under seeking is when the person needs more sensory input to meet their needs and over means they need less.  There are the 5 areas of senses and as such different things can effect each person differently.  Below are some examples.  This is not a full list and there will be many others I'm sure but there are the ones I have personally come across.  Again this is just my personal experience and opinion.  I am just a mother with a child with autism.  I have no medical qualifications or experience.

 Sound

Sound obviously relates to things we hear.  Some one who is under sensitive to sounds may have hearing issues or hearing loss and as such needs volumes to be louder to hear in the same way.  They may also only hear in one side.  Due to this they may not be able to acknowledge certain sounds and this may be the same without hearing loss.  They may enjoy crowded places with lots of noise for the input.  For this visual aids can be used to reinforce the sounds and its also good to make people in regular contact aware so they can adjust how they communicate with the person.  On the other hand someone who is over sensitive will have sounds amplified.  This can cause physical distress to them and may even cause physical pain in to their ears.  They can find it difficult to section off sounds and hear things in a muddle so may get easily confused.  Background noise can also effect this.  As such things like ear defenders can be a useful tool to be used when its known that the area they are in is going to be loud, shutting windows and doors to outside noise if a busy day can also help.  My son uses ear defenders quite frequently when he is out and about and this helps reduce his anxiety as the noises are muted and more easily managed.

Smell

Someone who is under sensitive to smell can find it difficult to smell aromas and this can most certainly include strong odours.  This can cause an issue in older age too with personal hygiene.  A person with under sensitivity to smell may also choose to lick things to gain a better sense of the smell.  On the flip side to this people who are under sensitive to smells can find regular smells over powering.  This can include things like perfume, shampoos and soaps.  Flowers can also be included in this.  My son hates the smell of lavender plants and as such has a meltdown whenever he is near them.  It is simply a smell he cant handle.  Fortunately there are plenty of fragrance free items on the market now which can help with toileting routines.   

Taste

Someone who is under sensitive to taste may like very spicy food or food with a very strong flavour.  They may also eat or mouth non food items such as grass or dirt.  This is linked to the condition known as Pica.  Over sensitive means that flavours can sometimes end up being quite bland in flavour and the lack of strong flavours will usually be obvious in their diets.  Another connection to this is the need for certain textures such as only smooth foods.  For my son this is obvious with the fact that he will eat only very crunchy foods like toast or very smooth foods like cheese. 

Touch

Someone who is under sensitive can portray various signs of needing to touch including needing very strong feelings of pressure, a high pain threshold and a possibility of self harm, chews on things including clothing and inedible objects and can also do something called smearing which is when poo is spread across surfaces or themselves. This is due to enjoying the feeling and texture.  A way to stop this or to help them is to look at items which are weighted.  These come in various items including lap pads, weighted blankets, vests and other items.  This weight can be a way to stimulate the touch sense.  Chewing can be helped with chew toys and jewellery which is now very common in the autism community and can be found easily online in various places.  For the smearing aspect other activities can be tried which will allow them to have the same texture feeling but without the poo!! This can include jelly, cornflour mixtures etc and using them in a tray or bowl so they can manipulate the substance and get the same input.  Someone on the other hand who us over sensitive can avoid touching and cuddling for instance.  They can feel physical pain at the touch and will shy away from it.  They struggle with things like socks and gloves due to the feeling on their feet and can have difficulties with having their hair brushed and washed.  They can even find certain food intolerable and certain fabrics and materials will need to be avoided.  To help them they can be warned that someone is about to touch them and remember that hugging may not be suitable for them.  It may be suitable to change the food textures to something they are more able to manage and look at removing labels and finding materials and fabrics that they are happy with on their skin. 

Balance (vestibular) and Body awareness (proprioception)

Balance and proprioception relate also to the body and how it reacts to the environment.  Balance can be effected by SPD and body awareness relates to how our bodies move and occupy the space that we are in.  In regards to the balance aspect of this a person who is under sensitive may need to rock, swing or spin to get stimulation.  Their body awareness may mean that they struggle with understanding personal space and stand to close to people, bump into people and struggle with negotiating areas correctly.  For balance under sensitivity you can look at using swings, rocking horses, toys that go round and spin or even just standing up and down on steps.  For the body awareness side looking at moving furniture and teaching a rule about one arms length away from people could be a way of gaining understanding.  For people who are over sensitive balance can cause issues with travel sickness, controlling movements in games and sports, difficulties stopping an activity.  Activities can be broken down into slower steps to make them more manageable.  Body awareness with people who are over sensitive it might mean that the person moves their whole body to look at something and struggles with what is classed as fine motor skills.  Examples of this are tying shoes laces.  There are a lot of activities such as lacing boards which can help with learning fine motor skills and occupational therapist spend a lot of time working with people with motor skill issues to improve these.

Now it is not to be said that if a person displays more over sensitive features that they wont experience under sensitive too.  They can and are mixed as with my son.  Some areas he is very over sensitive and other very under.  We have managed to find many tricks that help him manage in a day.  There are lots of ways that this can be done and some of the examples above are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sensory input and how to manage sensory issues.  You will find quickly what works for your child or young person and what is not useful.  SPD is diagnosed by an Occupational Therapist and they will then be able to explain what areas the main concern are for each child separately.