#now comms get my priority when i work ... i'm scared i will have to do this again

[zalimbane]

i just wrote 22 drafts in one day . someone send me to the asylum .

[tomhollandisabae]

I've got a request! Ghost and reader on a mission together. They both have definite feelings for each other already. Reader gets shot and from Ghosts pov it looks fatal, but it isn't. Reader has to play dead to escape from the enemy and scares Ghost half to death in the process. THANK YOU

thank u so much for ur request love!!🥰🥰

faking- simon "ghost" riley x reader

masterlist

summary; as the mission goes on, you are forced to fake your death, hurting the man you love most.

warnings; angst, death, mentions of blood, mature language, violence, fluff, english is not my first language, unedited

words; 1.7k

a/n; doesn't follow the events of mw2, but there are some hints here and there

to clear things out MI5 works within the UK (MI6 is the opposite)

“Vox, report.” You heard ghost’s voice.

“I'm going in.” You replied.

“No, no. You stay where you are, you hear me? We didn't agree on that.” He insisted.

“Ghost there is no other way. It has to be done now. Over.”

The situation had as follows; you had organised an ambush on Graves and his team, while your top priority was to capture him and take him hostage to use him against Shepherd. However, your plan wasn't keeping up with theirs as much as you wanted, so you had to improvise. That's why you argued with Ghost and disobeyed his instructions, putting yourself at risk.

As you broke in you started taking down one soldier after the other, but sooner or later found yourself on your knees, putting pressure on the front of your thigh trying to prevent more blood loss as you had apparently been shot.

“Vox, what's going on?” Ghost’s worried voice sounded once again over the comms.

“I'm hit, but I'll survive.” You informed him.

“I'm coming in.”

“Ghost no, I'll be fine.” You insisted, but it had no result as you show him entering the building you were in and approaching you carefully, trying not to compromise himself.

“I told you not to do that. You didn't listen Y/n.” He spoke once he leaned down taking you in his arms and picking you up carefully making you hiss due to the pain.

“I'm sorry…” You responded weakly.

“Hey it's okay, you're going to be okay. Just keep your eyes open, can you do that for me doll?” He asked you, panic written all over his voice.

“Mhhm…” you murmured as you started feeling lightheaded.

“Y/n, Y/n” he shook you “I need a medic immediately! Vox is down!” He shouted over the comm.

“Simon…” you exclaimed his name slowly.

“Everything's going to be okay Y/n, you'll be okay. Please keep your eyes open.” He pleaded as his hands started trembling.

“I'm sorry, i'm so sorry…” a tear rolled down on your cheek.

“Medics are on their way.”

“You hear that darling, they're coming to save you.” He placed you down again, once you were outside the building.

“I'm really sorry…” you kept repeating over and over again.

“You don't have to be sorry about anything sweetheart, everything's fine. Just stay awake.” You could tell that under the mask a sad and hurt expression had overtaken his facial characteristics.

“I'm so…”

“No! No no no! Please no!” He took you in his arms and hugged you tightly as if he could keep you soul in from exiting your cold body.

When the medics finally arrived they found Ghost on his knees holding you as tight as he could, trying to memorise the way you felt for the rest of his miserable life. They tried to take you away from him and after a few tries they succeeded as Soap appeared from behind them, approaching Ghost and kneeling down next to him trying to comfort him, but it was too late.

Ghost had lost his last hope of life. He had lost you…

It took three months for the Task Force 141 to finally give an end to everything. They had accomplished their mission and were now celebrating in a small bar as they waited for Laswell to arrive, so she could congratulate them face to face.

Ghost never spoke to anyone, only when it was needed for the mission. He distanced himself from everyone and everything and promised himself to avenge for you death. As he did.

Now the team were having their time of their lives, when finally Laswell walked in.

“Hello boys.” She greeted them with a smile.

They all said their hellos back, apart from Ghost who just nodded towards her.

However, nobody noticed another figure entering the bar, behind Kate.

“It can't be…” Soap exclaimed shocked and everyone turned to him in question and he pointed towards the person behind Laswell.

“Vox?” Gaz said and Ghost head shot up feeling his heart racing.

“Hi” You finally waved at them appearing now next to Kate.

“How?” Price questioned.

“Sit down boys, we can't talk standing.” Laswell motioned towards the booth where everyone was sitting.

And they did so, as you sat down across from Ghost, not daring to look at him. You didn't know what to expect from him. You had left him, you broke him, making him think he had lost everything once again. You were his war partner, wanting to be his life partner eventually, but you betrayed him.

“So where should I start from?” Kate sighed.

“How's Y/n alive, no offence Y/n, I'm really glad your alive, but.. how?” He turned to you and you just nodded.

“Y/l/n works for the MI5, she's been a secret agent for the British army since the beginning of her career. When she was placed in Task Force 141, she had already agreed that her alliance would always be to MI5, so when she was asked to fake her death she couldn't do otherwise.” She began explaining “Y/n, you wanna continue? You know the situation better than anyone.” She asked you and you nodded.

“Yeah, umm… M asked me to get into the Shadow company swearing my allegiance to them, but to do so I had to make you all believe that I'm dead. I had approached Graves and talked to him about it. I promised him that I would be by his side and I would let him know everything about our team. Of course I had already spoken with M and we had agreed on what I would be giving away to him, most of them were false informations. So when I entered that building I had already a bag with fake blood on my foot and prosthetics above it to make it look real. I stabbed the bag and you know the rest… Once I was in the Shadow company I had found a way to secretly commuting with M and gave them all the information they needed. Graves trusted me with everything and I was beside him all the time. When he was finally killed, I was… well… brought back to life.” You said.

“Wow…” Soap was in awe.

“Badass.” Has smirked.

“That's a hell of sacrifice you did there Y/l/n. If they had found out, you'd be for real dead.” Price told you.

“I know, but I was extremely careful.” You smiled at him.

“So you were out secret informer” Soap raised his eyebrow.

“Don't think so. I was providing some information to the MI5, I guess M was talking with Kate and then passing the info to you.” You bit your lip.

“So badass” Soap agreed with Gaz.

Suddenly, Ghost rose up from his seat and walked out of the bar leaving you speechless.

“You should go talk to him. He went through a lot after what happened.” Soap looked at you.

“Yeah, I remember…” You exhaled as you had flashbacks of when he wouldn't let you go as the paramedics were trying to take you away from him.

You got up and finally went outside to find him leaning against a tree in the far back.

“Simon…” You breathed out his name as you approached him.

He didn't respond, didn't even look at you for a second.

“Simon I'm really sorry…”

“Yeah, you said so. Now it all makes sense, the way you were repeating that you were sorry over and over again, the fact that there was no funeral… it all makes sense now.” He shook his head.

“I had no other choice. You have to believe me.” You tried to reason with him.

“Everyone has a choice Vox.” It took you aback as he used your code name and not the real one. He would never call you that when you weren't in the battlefield.

“Well I didn't.” You raised your voice having enough at this point and he finally looked at you shocked.

“You don't know how it is to work for the secret services Simon. They have no morals. They used my fucking family. They had promised me that they would provide them protection as long as I was away for the mission, but they had captured them and threatening to kill them all in the name of saving thousands of other lives. As much as I love you Simon, I love my family too. I might not be able to have a decent relationship with you anymore, but at least you and my family are alive.” You cried out as words kept spilling out of your mouth.

“You love me?” He interrupted you after a while.

“I… yes Simon, I love you more than anything.” You wiped your tears away as you saw him walking up to you.

“Is your family okay?” He asked once he stood in front of you.

“Yeah” you shook your head positively “they're fine.”

“Good.” He placed his arms around your waist pushing you closer to him, making you gasp at the gesture.

“Simon…” you looked up at him.

“What about the MI5?” He asked you.

“I'm out. I don't work for them anymore.” You bit your lip nervously, but he placed his thumb on top of your lower lip, freeing it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You barely whispered.

“Good.”

What he did next was something that you never expected him to do. He lifted his mask, taking it off completely, revealing his beautiful face to you.

With your hands trembling, you placed them carefully on each side of his face.

“I love you Y/n.” He lowered his head, your lips only centimetres from each other.

“Please…” you pleaded.

“What do you want darling?” His lips brushed the crooner of yours softly.

“Kiss me.” Your eyes looked with his.

And he did so, finally connecting your lips in a so long awaited kiss. His soft once moving slowly on top of yours with so much care and love.

And that was just the beginning of a new chapter of both your lives.

Because you would leave a happy ever after, together and forever!

[petruchio]

hi caroline, i hope this is okay to ask, but could you talk a little bit about your "post-graduation, getting a job" journey? i also majored in literature, and graduated last fall. i wasn't actively job searching bc i planned to go to grad school, but when i didn't get in anywhere this spring, suddenly plans have shifted into Getting A Job ASAP Is The Top And Only Priority ;~; i'm almost at the point where i'm starting to regret getting a humanities degree, and wondering why past me didn't major in something more practical and lucrative, like engineering. from one lit major to another, how did you overcome this feeling of fear of being unemployable? or maybe you didn't have it all? i'd be grateful for any insight you had!! ~ sincerely, a very scared literature major

oh yeah of course!! i think ive answered a few similar questions, but i can't find them at the moment -- if i do i will come back and link them here as well, but im so happy to talk about it!! also here’s my job search tag though it’s mostly just me being insane -- it’s probably not that helpful. but let me do my best to give some helpful advice.

one thing i think is important to remember about getting a job with a less straightforward degree is that you don’t *have* to get a job in what your degree is in. like i don’t work in books or literature at all. my job is barely related to my degree and i kind of just stumbled into it (there is a lot of luck involved!) and now i'm just trying to do my best? i figure it will lead me to the next thing, and that will lead me to the next, and eventually ill find my place. while i do have my weekly existential crises, i am actually pretty chill about my career because i am only 22 and i know i don’t know anything at all yet, so how am i supposed to know what my career calling is? i say this just to say basically don’t pressure yourself to be like, the foremost editor at a top publishing house or a prize-winning journalist right out of college. (great if you are!! but it’s not a requirement.) like if you’re not interested in doing journalism (i wasn’t, personally) don’t feel pressured to do it. there’s nothing commanding you write articles just because you have a literature degree.

one thing to ask yourself -- what have you done that you enjoyed? i had a student internship doing comms work that i enjoyed, so i put that on my resume and searched for jobs with similar tasks. it doesn’t have to have been an amazing internship at a famous top company where you were the star intern for the entire year. but did you do research with a professor? work somewhere on campus? write for the school newspaper? was there one class where you really excelled? those are all great things to put on your post grad resume and use them in interviews! hiring managers KNOW you were a student. they’re not expecting you to have a fully developed resume yet! they want to know what you’re good at — your experiences so far will take you farther than you are probably currently thinking they will.

my other best advice is DO INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS. these literally saved my life. for the record, yes they are terrifying and yes they are super awkward. but i think they are the best thing you can do while job searching, especially as a new grad. reach out to alums on linkedin (bonus points if you have the same major!) and ask your college career center if they have a way to connect you with other alums. send them a cold message saying basically this:

"Hi (name)! I am a new graduate from/current student in X major at X university, and I am currently exploring my career options for after graduation. (Sentence saying we have xyz in common, major, university, career goal). I saw your profile, and I really admire your career path. I was wondering if you had (10, 20, 30) minutes for a quick phone call or Zoom chat to talk more about your experience in the industry? Thank you so much!"

you will be surprised by how many people will take you up on this!! and in those, i would ask basically — “can you tell me a bit about your career path” “what led you to your current position” “do you have any suggestions what titles to look for as entry level job in your field?” and things like that. (that last one helps a lot — you have never worked in the career world before! there is probably a job title you don’t even know exists that is an entry level role in a field that appeals to you.) they will do most of the talking -- just take good notes and ask thoughtful questions and you are golden :)

the great thing about informational interviews is that not only can you make great connections and get really helpful advice, but it also gives you good practice with the language and conversational style of people in the career sphere. you have been a student up until now -- and that’s fine! but talking to people who are established in their career can help you focus your own interview skills, literally just by listening to them talk and hearing how they talk about their role. it helped me TON in interviews to just have that language, because as a student, it just wasn’t something i was familiar with. it’s good, low stakes practice for improving your job interviews once you get to that stage.

my last piece of advice with these interviews is don’t go in expecting them to offer you a job -- that basically never happens. BUT! sometimes they will tell you what to search for! sometimes they will hook you up with a recruiter! sometimes they will tell you that this career path sucks and not to pursue it under any circumstances! all of those are great outcomes and you will learn something you didn’t know before. the great thing about informational interviews is that they are INFORMATIONAL -- and getting that information is a really good first step, especially if you didn’t do a lot of career prep work during undergrad (i know i didn’t 🤪)

also just know that job hunting SUCKS. it’s demoralizing, it’s depressing, it can make you feel really bad about yourself. there’s no good way around it, and i wish it wasn’t like that, but i think acknowledging that can be good just so you don’t feel like you’re drowning and that you’re the only one going through it. it sucks. im sorry. having a job also sucks. everyone goes through it. that’s just… life i guess.

but also remember that you are not your job or your career. you are a whole person with passions and talents and drive that have no connection to whatever it is that you will end up doing for work. don’t let it get you down too much. it will all work out. everything will be fine. you are smart, you are talented, and most of all, you are loved by so many people who couldn’t care less what you do for a job. me included!! if you’re reading this -- i love you! and im super proud of you. you graduated. that’s a huge accomplishment. now go kick some job searching butt!! and negotiate your salary. always negotiate your salary ;)