#novelty air fresheners

[seat-safety-switch]

When I was in high school, I fell in with a bad crowd. It's probably happened to you or someone you love, too. Those government PSA commercials that are supposed to keep you away from the habit just tell you about all the fun the so-called "addicts" are having. At first, you start doing it at parties, to impress the older kids. Before you know it, totally hooked, doing it four or five times a day.

Yeah. I was lumberjacking, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Now, I've been clean for many years. Haven't felled a tree in ages. Got the medallion to prove it. Do I still feel that familiar pang when I walk by the novelty chainsaw aisle in Home Depot? You bet your ass I do. Support makes all the difference, and if you're similarly afflicted and want to get out, we can get you help, too.

Couple of years ago, I went with a few of the other sponsors to a lumber-carving competition. It's sick how these dealers rope otherwise decent people in by calling this perverted addiction "art," as if any right-thinking artist would be up to their eyeballs in wood shavings on a February ski weekend trying to carve a cartoon beaver out of a chunk of elm. Until the government and the cops – who are both in the pockets of Big Lumber, I've seen what built their houses – do something about it, the next best thing is to be there when one of their victims wants to end the cycle.

If you're one of those people, you need to reach out. We're here and we understand exactly why your house is full of weird chisels, and why you hide the fence mallet from your kids out of shame. When you're ready to stop smelling like someone set a gas station pine-tree air freshener on fire with approximately $1700 in flannel clothing, call us. We'll do whatever it takes to get you out from under the foot of the national forestry reserve and their onerous permits.

[awkward-halfhug]

probably not the best sedative | eleventh doctor x reader

summary: pseudo-morning shenanigans

chapter 1 2 3 4 5

contents: fluff, some name-calling, the doctor being a 'genius'

(also on my ao3)

1.7k

After that first successful sleepover situation, it became a habit. A routine. A tradition. When you get back from adventuring, you both go your separate ways to freshen up, grab a book to read (in your case), or a a gizmo to fiddle with (in his case), and meet up in one of your usual spots in the TARDIS to decompress, until finally you both fall asleep. 

After he woke up that first time, curled up in a ball on your lap, your legs tucked under you and your upper body curled around his in a way that made him cringe in sympathy for your poor back, he had felt an odd mix between embarrassed, endeared, and incredibly proud of himself for such a great idea. 

For one thing, one of your hands had somehow found its way into his hair at some point. The pressure of your fingertips on his scalp was completely foreign and entirely thrilling. He had been almost afraid to move for fear of breaking the peace and beauty of the moment. 

Almost. But he had really needed to pee. 

Your groggy, half-asleep state had been endearing and if his bladder hadn't been about to burst he would've liked to enjoy it longer. 

Fortunately for him, he would be getting to see a lot more of that cute pout in the weeks to come. 

He's looking at it now, in fact. 

"Hey sleepyhead", the Doctor murmurs into the pseudo-morning air. 

A few simulated birds chirp in the distance to each other. Coupled with the holographic display of the sun rising, the effect is incredibly peaceful. That, and the (safe amounts of) solar rays the TARDIS stores and emits through her projected 'sun', is apparently effective in its goal of keeping you on a regular sleep schedule. The Doctor, too, has been benefiting from these modifications you requested. He feels healthier somehow, more energized. And, surprisingly, happier. Although he's not about to admit this to you, or to the TARDIS for that matter. 

You smile sleepily as you stretch out your tired limbs. 

"M'rnin'" you mumble, before curling back into the Doctor's side. 

The Doctor chuckles in response and tugs you closer. He's never been one to pass up an opportunity when it's right in front of him. The cuddling and the holding each other has grown in frequency and ease since that first sleepover/snuggle session/whatever it was, but it still hasn't lost any if its novelty. Or its comfort.

He holds you close for a little while longer until he feels himself starting to drift off again. He's almost asleep when he hears an animal, very close, and from the sounds of it, possibly very angry. 

His senses on high alert, he whips his head around the room searching for the danger. If he can identify the creature quickly enough he can hopefully protect his companion in time, should it attack.

Had he left the door to the hatchery open again? He wouldn't put it past himself. It's happened plenty of times in the past. Although, the particular species residing there these days isn't one he feels keen on introducing to you. At least not this way.

He's just creeping off the couch, slowly, not making any sudden movements, when he hears it again.

Finally he identifies it.

You crack one sleepy eye open and frown at him when he busts up laughing. He leans back to his original position and scoops you up into his arms. 

"Should I start keeping you in the hatchery?" He asks between chuckles.

You just blink at him in confusion. Suddenly your stomach growls, loudly, demanding it be paid due attention. Your eyes widen and your cheeks color.

"I think I'm hungry." You say, timidly.

The Doctor just laughs louder. You smack him lightly on the chest and he calms down a bit.

"Come on then, we better feed the little beast before it goes on a rampage."

You both climb off the couch reluctantly and let the TARDIS lead you to whatever hallway she placed the kitchen in today.

After eating their meal, you sit together in companionable silence, allowing your brains to wake up for the day. Well, allowing your brain to wake up. His is wide awake now.

His mind is usually spinning a hundred miles an hour every waking minute of the day. And keeping him awake at that. But lately his mind seems to have calmed considerably. It's amazing the affect the woman sitting across from him can have, without even trying.

When you're apparently awake enough to think clearly, you break the silence. "What was that about a hatchery?" 

The Doctor manages to restrain himself from laughing any further at her expense, but he can't keep the smirk from his face as he replies.

"Nothing, dear."

"Dear?" You lift a bemused eyebrow.

Panic. Panic panic panic. That's all his mind supplies him at first. Maybe you've made him a little too relaxed. He still manages to come up with a genius cover for his blunder.

"Er, the hatchery. It's nothing. Have one here. Was talking about that. You gonna finish your tea? I'll finish it if you don't want it."

Before you could comment further on the sudden term of endearment, the Doctor swipes your teacup out of your hands and starts guzzling it as though it weren't scalding hot. Which it is. 

"I was drinking that!" You cry, your face warring between outrage and confusion. Good.

"Sorry. Just couldn't resist. Yours just looked so much better than mine." The Doctor emphasizes this statement by grabbing his half-full tea cup and tossing it in the sink a few feet away, without even looking behind him. It lands with a crash and he flinches.

You blink owlishly at him. Crisis averted.

"So, where to today, my love?" The Doctor can feel his eyes bulging out of their sockets. His mouth has a mind of its own apparently and it's scheming against him.

You barely have time to get out a confused little "Wha-?" before the Doctor ploughs on ahead for some damage control.

"I was thinking we could visit Burr. Lovely little planet. Bit off the beaten path in the next galaxy over, but the views are spectacular. Interesting people, the Burrans. Manners are a bit different in every culture, you know. Have to follow their rules or risk offending them. Wouldn't want to end up in another jail cell would we?

You look a little distracted but you nod in agreement. "What are their rules of conduct then?"

The Doctor swallows. "Oh nothing too different from what you're used to. Cursties, bows, sirs and ma'ams, the like. And we have to call each other pet names."

"Pet names?" You repeat, as though you hadn't heard him right.

"Pet names." The Doctor smiled innocently.

Suddenly your expression changes from dazed to comprehension. And..is that disappointment?

That is definitely disappointment! It was just a twinge of it and it's gone now but it was there! The Doctor feels like he's won something, though he's not sure what.

You're smiling at him now, clearly amused. "So, are we practicing now then? Um...sweetie?" You cringe after you say it, hiding your face in embarrassment.

He laughs in relief and delight. "Oh, come now, you can do better than that, sugarplum." He's positively beaming now but he can't help it. He's enjoying himself too much with this.

You pull your hands from your face and look him straight in the eye, determination etched in every feature. "Cupcake" you say, clearly fighting off a silly grin.

"Pumpkin" he retorts.

"Honey bear" you fire back.

"Gumdrop" he laughs.

"Buttercup"

"Darling"

"Cuddlebug" you smirk as you say it. You're  teasing him, the minx.

He raises an eyebrow. "Sugar lips" 

Your mouth hangs open. "You are not calling me 'sugar lips'"! 

The Doctor laughs at your expression. "Why not?"

"We've never kissed, so how would you know if my lips are sugary or not, hm? So you can't use that one." You arched a brow as if to say 'checkmate'. 

The Doctor just hums a bit. Nodding to himself and debating.

Internal debate over, he leans across the table and places a kiss right on your smirking mouth. You gasp at the contact and he takes the opportunity to pull your bottom lip in between his teeth and sucks on it gently, running his tongue across quickly. You make a little noise and he pulls back just slightly, releasing your bottom lip and placing a little peck to your mouth before returning to his original spot across the table.

The Doctor has never seen you look more flustered than at this moment. You're gaping at him like the cutest little fish and a blush is covering your entire face, your neck, and your ears. He couldn't wipe the smirk off his face if he tried. 

The Doctor stares your straight in the eyes, licks his lips and says "Yep. Sugary. Almost too sugary. You really do put quite a lot in your tea, don't you?"

You try spluttering out an answer but it's basically gibberish.

"What's that, sugar lips?" The Doctor lifts a smug eyebrow.

Realization dawns on his companion's pretty face. "You- you did that for-? Just because of-?" 

Well not just because of the pet-name. Not really because of the pet-name at all. But you don't need to know that.

"Am I well-informed enough to be able to call you sugar lips now, sugar lips?"

"No!" 

The Doctor makes a move toward you again, but you splutter quickly "Yes! Okay, yes! You are well-informed. I am in total shock of how well-informed you are." You huff and he sits back down in his chair, well pleased with himself. 

"That settles it then. Go get dressed, we'll make a quick pit stop and then off to Burr!" He drums his hands happily on the kitchen table and skips away to set the coordinates.

First stop, a nice little bakery with a nice long line the Doctor can leave his companion in while he sneaks back to the TARDIS.

Second stop, Burr, a century or two before he plans on taking his companion. Spread a rumor here, make a comment there. Pet names will be commonplace etiquette before they know it.

Third stop, back to the bakery, his companion none the wiser.

And then obviously, fourth stop, back to Burr with you. 

The Doctor sighs. Another genius idea. The rapid torrent of his thoughts may have calmed down some lately, thanks to his lovely companion, and he might feel more relaxed, but his mind is still as sharp as ever. Sometimes he amazes even himself.

thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider reblogging/commenting, it means a lot! ♡

[melis-writes]

(2024) My current collection of The Godfather/The Godfather Part II Merch Part 1!

You can check out my Al Pacino merch collection here!

Part 2 here!

All purchased in 2021 when I was in Turkey! From the top, left to right, "A Life on The Wire" is an autobiography about Al. The one and only, "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo, and the bottom left there is actually a blank Godfather notebook I purchased in Turkey as well. I have the Coppola Restoration of all 5 discs in a collection for the films and extra contents!

Godfather I and II posters! Also all purchased from local online retailers in Turkey from 2021 and 2022.

A little cardboard Vito cutout! I bought this in a local bookstore in Turkey in 2022.

My prized Michael Corleone 1:6 figurine! 🥺🖤 I got him from Aliexpress, but he certainly did not look like this because his face/head was different and he was wearing a blue suit (that he never wore in any movie ever). If I didn't modify Michael, he would have been about $350 CAD or so. He looked like this before:

I put together about $100 CAD of modifications on him to get a new had, new hands and a new suit, and voila!

My Godfather phone cases!

My Godfather funkos are everything! 🥺 Vito and Michael are the only ones that have 2 funkos from the first two films.

A Godfather air freshener is needed in my car, of course. 🤭

A cute Godfather Part II poster gifted to me by my best friend alongside more merch in 2021!

This here I was so pleasantly shocked to find in a local Turkish bookstore in 2022. I couldn't find an English version of this to save my life. It was titled (translated) as The Godfather Family Album. It's extremely unique in terms of the content inside, like a folder keeping tabs on all of the events, newspaper clippings and character profiles!

The Godfather magazine I purchased off Amazon (Canada) in 2022.

The official motion picture archives book of The Godfather from Amazon (Canada).

A 3D printout (made by a local seller in Turkey) of The Godfather's title on top of a set of Godfather playing cards (also bought from a novelty store in Turkey) in 2022.

A Godfather mug that reads "I don't apologize to take care of my family" with Vito on one side and the film's logo on the other. Found in a Turkish bookstore in 2022!

A 3D printout bust of Vito Corleone, made by a local Turkish seller I bought in 2022.

Probably one of my all time favourite merch pieces ever... this huge, glossy photo filled Godfather Family Album. I cannot recommend this enough for diehard Godfather fans! 🖤

Michael Corleone in The Godfather Part II as a phone case. 🤭

Hands down my favourite movie poster of The Godfather Part II.

A Godfather board/card game called "An Offer You Can't Refuse" was the first Godfather related game of any kind I bought in 2022 from a private seller in Canada.

The Godfather trivia game!! I've yet to meet anyone who can beat me when it comes to the first two films' trivia. 🤭😂

A mini Godfather music player that absolutely plays the most dazzling little version of the film's theme song next to a lego version of Vito! The lego vito was gifted to me in 2021 by my best friend. I bought the music player from Aliexpress in 2022.

[harrywavycurly]

Sarah! I need to hear more about Dave the much loved car from the Sugar Daddy Eddie series! Do you have any instas that the reader would post of him? 😂 I can picture way too many novelty air fresheners hanging off the rear view mirror and one of those massage seat covers on the front seat

Hiii babes!! I will gladly tell you more about Dave, he’s just the car that you got when you turned 16 and he’d been previously loved but that’s fine because you didn’t care he worked and gets you where you need to go so he is perfect in your eyes 😂 here are some instagrams that are all about Dave, enjoy 💖

-find all things What You Deserve here✨

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Driving Habits  -Heartslabyul Edition

Can they drive? If so, what kind of drivers are they? What are their car habits?

Characters; Riddle Rosehearts, Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Cater Diamond & Trey Clover

Content; swearing, mentions of road rage

Author’s Note; NRC has a school radio for this (honestly a school radio would be kinda cool ngl), pretending that TWST gets our music from here

Word Count; 900+

Find the Rest of the Series; Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia

Author’s Note; As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

Riddle Rosehearts

Follows the rules of the road to a T. If he’s feeling a bit adventurous he may go a little faster than the speed limit but that’s pretty much it. Has his routes memorized and hates taking different ones.

Would probably listen to a news/classical music radio station. No one is allowed to change it under any circumstance. He controls the aux.

Keeps his phone on silent and in the back seat to avoid distraction. It doesn’t matter who calls or texts him, he is only looking and potentially answering it once he reaches his destination.

The only sign that the car is not brand new is the little hedgehog plush that sits on his dash and a novelty cake air freshener… and a cursed Bibble bumper sticker that Ace put on that will not budge and it infuriates him to no end.

Has bad road rage, but is usually just content to condemn the interloper by muttering to himself. Has laid down on the horn for those who really crossed the line and turns up his music to try and calm down.

Ace Trappola

Semi-decent driver, not the best, not the worst. A bit of a speed demon but not to the extent of getting ticketed. Sometimes forgets some rules of the road, but nothing major.

The glove box is filled with snacks; he did not keep the manual for the car. He probably listens to some magic podcast (only when he’s alone), ‘90s-2000s pop (again alone), and with friends, he plays alternative rap or classic rock. Trey did catch him singing his heart out to Barbie Girl and he’s still mortified.

His phone is sitting in the cupholder and he checks it at red lights (do not be like Ace).

Probably has a magic eight-ball on his dash. Has an assortment of bumper stickers ranging from “I honk for MILFs” to qr stickers to the most hated songs, but not to the point that you can’t make out what they are.

Also has road rage, and will flip off and honk at people. People will do the same to him when he breaks the rules of the road and gets mad at them, starting a honking war.

Deuce Spade

A defensive driver, and tends to go a bit slower than the speed limit. He knows that the only thing he can control on the road is himself, and holds himself accountable. He also does regular maintenance on it to keep it to road standards.

Usually doesn’t listen to the radio or a playlist while driving. If he does decide to put something on though it’s usually very quiet so it doesn’t distract him.

His phone is on silent and in the back. He pulls over whenever he hears his emergency contact (mum) call, turns off the car and takes the call outside.

Has a little chicken sitting on his rear view mirror. He also has a few trinkets from friends but nothing too large or distracting. Cleans it out whenever he notices a mess. Ace has also tagged his bumper sticker but with the “No Bitches?” meme, he wasn’t happy finding it.

He tries his best to stay calm and has only honked at people a few times. Has only gotten pissed on a few occasions but those people were most likely driving dangerously.

Cater Diamond

He’s an average driver. Drives defensively thanks to the lessons he had to sit through with his two older sisters.

You can usually catch him singing along to pop and indie songs, or whatever is popular. He also keeps his car clean, but not so clean that it doesn’t look lived in.

His phone isn’t on silent, but he does keep it in a small bag on the floor of the front passenger side. Yes, it does occasionally distract him but he has not yet texted or called while driving.

Definitely has an aesthetic figurine sitting on his dash. Probably would also have a crystal hanging from the rear view mirror. He has a few other things hanging around, including an extra cardigan tied to the back of the driver’s seat.

Doesn’t get road rage per se, but he does trash talk people’s driving. He probably had a dash cam installed so he could record potential events that he could vent about on a separate account; he doesn’t want his online personality getting tarnished due to someone cutting him off and letting out muttered insults.

Trey Clover

A great defensive driver. Will offer to give lessons to his younger dorm mates if he notices them struggling. Mini van haver.

He listens to the school radio, enjoying the random songs that come on and also the local weather report. He gets less enthused though if he hears about the latest shenanigans any of his younger dorm mates get into.

His phone isn’t on silent, but he keeps it in the back seat; he can’t afford to have it on silent, less something or someone catches on fire. He eventually will get a blue tooth earpiece; the last time he didn’t pick up for Riddle, the flamingos managed to escape.

He doesn’t have many of his own personal decorations, but his siblings have left behind some of their toys whenever he has to drive them places when his parents are busy. You can also always find some sort of snack hiding around somewhere.

He just sighs heavily whenever someone cuts him off or is otherwise just rude. The only time you can see him get irritated is if that happens while his siblings or friends are in the car with him.

[darsynia]

Nearer, My God, To Thee | Stony | Ch. 1

STORY MASTERLIST | TONY MASTERLIST | STEVE MASTERLIST NEXT

Written for ZaraMelMercury as a part of @tonysbirthdaygala

Summary: Steve Rogers appreciated his unexpected promotion to Fourth Officer-- until it became clear that it was more about being a novelty American-born officer of the White Star Line than it was about his skill at the job. After another frustrating shift attending to First Class, he was rescued by the devilishly handsome Tony Stark, a notoriously brilliant troublemaker annoyed by his own role as the most tempting eligible bachelor on the ship.

Stark suggested a mutually beneficial agreement-- Steve would stand as a duty-borne chaperone to Tony's worst tendencies, thus saving Steve from endless hours of small talk in First Class. As soon as they shook on it, however, both realized their partnership carried much more potential. Length/Warnings: 3,603 words // light D/s themes For @the-slumberparty prompt: "I'm the reason you're still alive"

Note: After years of being captivated by the wreck itself and the stories therein, I couldn't resist choosing a Titanic AU after seeing my giftee's request involving hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, and historical AU! Please note that this is not based on Jack & Rose from the film-- a Stony retelling of that already exists.

This is a fast burn, passionate romance between two people who happen to have met at one of the worst possible times. It's been pure joy to write, and I am so delighted to share it with you now!

Tags: @chickensarentcheap @linnadhiell @sobeautifullyobsessed

Excerpt:

“You look like you could bend metal, with a grip like that,” an amused voice said from behind him.

Steve released the rail, noting the stiffness in his hands. “I beg your pardon, sir,” he said as he turned toward the speaker. The man was impeccably dressed, with facial hair that brought to mind a mythological satyr, but the most compelling thing about him was his eyes. Where every other inch of him spoke of elegance, class, and condescension, this gentleman’s eyes were warm and kind.

The man’s eyebrows lifted, and Steve realized he was staring. He stammered an apology using the only thing he could think of. In the handsome stranger’s breast pocket sat an elaborately embroidered handkerchief, the perfectly-even blue stitches standing out proudly in swirls and knots on the white cloth.

“Forgive me, your handkerchief has caught my--”

“Oh, this old thing?” The man’s accent was American, but he affected a British one for his interruption, patting at the distinctive object. “It’s my signature. I’m never without it. Tony Stark, prince of industry, at your visual service,” he said, dipping his head in a small bow. His lips were twisted in a clearly amused smile that suited his devilish look perfectly.

Chapter One: There let the way appear, steps unto heaven

Being a Fourth Officer on the Titanic was a point of pride for Steve Rogers, even though in practice he spent more time in First Class keeping the rich passengers happy than fulfilling his maritime duties. Lightoller had already pulled him aside to ‘freshen’ his serious expressions into friendlier ones. He’d been reminded that there were no other American-born officers at his level, and that he was doing the White Star Line a service by offering their wealthy American guests ‘the sound of home.’

Steve knew better than to object that his accent had nothing to do with his skill at his job, and neither did the small talk with the Rothschilds or Astors. He kept his uneasiness at bay by stepping out onto the First Class deck space, hoping the brisk air would help calm his mood.

As always, his excitement to see his childhood friend once he arrived in New York kept Steve going; saying goodbye to Bucky Barnes was one of the hardest things about moving to London from America. Their letters to each other came few and far between, particularly now, with Buck in the Army, and Steve at sea. 

For a man of limited means, working his way up at White Star was one of the only ways he could get to see his friend again. The promotion to Fourth Officer had been a last-minute surprise, but as much as he hated being cynical, it seemed that it was driven more by a hope to placate passengers than anything useful.

Once a half hour had passed, he was still frustrated. As they had the day before, the passengers outdoors had been delighted to call him over to stand quietly in his uniform as they chatted to each other. It seemed that his duty time on the bridge every day was to be his only respite from the upper classes.

“You look like you could bend metal, with a grip like that,” an amused voice said from behind him.

Steve released the rail, noting the stiffness in his hands. “I beg your pardon, sir,” he said as he turned toward the speaker. The man was impeccably dressed, with facial hair that brought to mind a mythological satyr, but the most compelling thing about him was his eyes. Where every other inch of him spoke of elegance, class, and condescension, this gentleman’s eyes were warm and kind.

The man’s eyebrows lifted, and Steve realized he was staring. He stammered an apology using the only thing he could think of. In the handsome stranger’s breast pocket sat an elaborately embroidered handkerchief, the perfectly-even blue stitches standing out proudly in swirls and knots on the white cloth.

“Forgive me, your handkerchief has caught my--”

“Oh, this old thing?” The man’s accent was American, but he affected a British one for his interruption, patting at the distinctive object. “It’s my signature. I’m never without it. Tony Stark, prince of industry, at your visual service,” he said, dipping his head in a small bow. His lips were twisted in a clearly amused smile that suited his devilish look perfectly.

“Sub-Lieutenant Steve Rogers, sir. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Too late, Steve realized he used the convention of a regular introduction, not the more deferential one for men who were not equals. Before he could apologize, Stark waved him off.

“They’ve got you parading through here at every opportunity, it’s only natural you slip into a more familiar greeting. I won’t reveal your mistake if you don’t reveal mine.”

Steve was out of his element; Stark embodied a certain First Class playfulness without somehow grating on Steve’s nerves. Most of the others just gave Steve barely a glance, maybe a nod of recognition of his rank and then moved on, but not Stark.

The man in question lifted his head and sniffed in a full breath of the crisp sea air. He seemed disappointed. “You aren’t going to ask me what the mistake is, are you?”

“With respect, no sir. I am not.”

Stark’s sudden grin hit Steve in the gut in a way he hadn’t felt in years. “Good. I haven’t done it yet. I’ll let you know.”

A young woman walked over to Stark to engage him in conversation. She fully ignored Steve, which was more familiar ground. He stood politely with one hand on the railing, but to his shock, Stark reached back as though bracing himself-- except, he not quite. His hand, undoubtedly precisely placed, was now pinning Steve’s uniform cuff to the railing.

The move was so unhurried, so casually dismissive, that Steve would have been convinced it was exactly as it appeared, if it hadn’t been for Stark’s behavior in the following conversation.

The young woman was dreadfully dull, and his witting captor seemed to offload his annoyance in being stuck listening to her by feigning fascination. Every few minutes, the clever man’s hand slid further in Steve’s direction, taking Steve’s with it by necessity-- and every few minutes, the expression on Stark’s face grew more like a caricature of interest than it had before. 

Tony Stark was practically embracing him by the time the young lady said something cutting and flounced off.

“That,” Stark sighed, “--was almost worth it.”

Without explaining what he meant, he stepped back and looked at Steve with a narrow-eyed speculation that made something tighten in Steve’s chest. The ache in his arm was gone in an instant.

“Am I right in assuming you’re tired of playing the toy soldier?”

The right thing to do would be to school his face to impassivity and espouse his duty, but the words died in Steve’s throat. He didn’t want to lie to Stark. Still, his loyalty was to his superiors, and--

Stark clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t choke on the platitudes, man! I understand you perfectly.” 

“My apologies,” Steve tried, but the other man shushed him.

“You’re here for my amusement second, and the pride of the Line first, I know. Speaking of the former-- did you know my father is an inveterate womanizer?”

All Steve could do was work to prevent his face from showing shock. This seemed enough for Stark, however.

“I am, of course, following in his esteemed footsteps, but for some reason, my dear papa finds that irritating. He deals with it by lobbing marriageable young women in my direction at every opportunity.” Stark turned to rest his forearms on the railing. “Perhaps we can be of assistance to each other.”

Steve thought about being asked to step into a conversation with any of the young, unmarried women of First Class. The resulting nausea prompted him to turn and face the sea as well, once again gripping the metal tightly.

“Precisely!” Stark said, nudging his elbow with his own. “That was unkind of me. My intention is to ask my father to intercede, state that I’m volatile--” He stopped, pulling out a pipe to absently shift between his fingers. “I am, of course --and ask for an escort, a goodwill gesture to protect the reputations of both passengers and ship. A respectable Sub-Lieutenant such as yourself would be a fine choice, even if you weren’t begging for death with every successive minute you spend in First Class.”

A whistle sounded before Steve could formulate his response. Stark slapped his empty hand on the railing decisively, tucking away the pipe.

“The womenfolk will spruce themselves up before luncheon, meaning I am free to speak with Major Butt about getting the President’s ear for our business. I have no intention of drawing you into my scheme if you’re unwilling, so what do you say?”

Steve took a moment to contemplate, and Stark’s patience during those seconds did a lot to recommend him. The man was certainly engaging, and the respite he was offering was too enticing to give up. “If by ‘scheme,’ you mean your intention to request myself as a personal escort, sir, I am willing.”

“Good man! I’ll speak with my father, then. Do us both a favor and appear exceedingly boring and unruffled by anything I say and do, eh? In public, I mean. In private, I’d expect you to treat me as an equal.” 

Stark’s warm eyes and smile of approval sparked something in Steve’s chest, something not entirely made of pride. The ‘out of his element’ feeling returned, for a different reason, now-- but this he could do. Protect this fascinating man from the very things Steve himself was intimidated by? Absolutely. Spend more time together? Please. The chance to escape the strictures of toy soldierdom was a side benefit.

“I can, sir.”

Stark almost ruined things for both of them by reaching out and grasping Steve’s hand for a second. The facade of politeness on Stark’s face faded as quickly as the veneer of cold duty did on Steve’s. There was coalfire in that grip, enough to warm his entire body.

It was sheer luck that most of the passengers had already sought to move inside, and didn’t see them.

Steve was summoned by his superiors an hour before dinner.

“You’re to have priority for laundry, Rogers, as I’m certain you have but one dress uniform, yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Howard Stark has requested to speak with you, something about his son and wanting a companion among the officers to keep him in line,” Murdock said. “Tell me now if you have any objections to get out of the way before I send you down to accept?”

That was loud and clear. “No objections, sir.”

“Good. Run and change into your best, then.” The First Officer made a face as he looked him head to toe. “I’ll do my best to find you some pieces to supplement with. If you’re to spend every waking moment with that upstart son of his, you’ll need them.”

The words ‘every waking moment’ fumbled Steve’s fingers on his buttons as he changed clothing in his cramped compartment. Thanks to his efforts in keeping quiet, his sleeping crewmates barely stirred, which was the most kindness he could offer given the lamplight he’d flooded the room with. He wondered if he’d be similarly able to filter out Tony Stark’s light in the days to come. The other man had been perceptive, and his provocative questions had sent Steve’s mind reeling even before he’d realized he was physically attracted.

He’d thought those feelings were behind him, in truth. Years working his way up in maritime commerce meant years surrounded by other men, and nothing had stirred. In a few brief moments, Tony Stark had brushed away the cobwebs, shining his bright smile into the darkest corners of Steve’s mind.

Steve looked down at himself, realizing he’d paused for contemplation at the very worst of times. Well, Stark had implied he would be a bad influence.

Once finished, Steve was painfully conscious of both his need to hurry and the desire to appear calm and unruffled. After all, a hurrying seaman on a ship such as this was liable to concern the passengers, and that was not at all appropriate. 

He got to the designated suite of cabins and checked his pocket watch. He was right on time, which was a relief. Steve thumbed the empty place where the picture of his mother used to reside. It fell out in Southampton, and he wouldn’t be able to replace it until he was safely back in England.

Howard Stark turned out to be the back-slapping, gregarious sort. His son was nowhere to be seen, and Steve soon understood why-- Stark Sr. wanted to give him the third degree, asking about his childhood (he dearly missed Brooklyn), his hobbies (Steve kept his sketchbook double bagged at sea), even his love life (nonexistent and not looking). As the time passed, Steve’s legs hurt from holding himself so stiffly, and the thought occurred that Stark couldn’t possibly ask such invasive questions of the young women he sent after his son.

Then again, perhaps the younger Stark was right about his father’s view of women, and he wasn’t sending them over to share Tony’s mind, just his--

An internal door burst open, revealing Tony himself, a long metal tool of some sort in his hand. “Damned thing was locked! Imagine if I had to evacuate! You might have needed to look sideways at my mother to perpetuate the dynasty.”

Howard Stark’s demeanor closed off immediately, and his eyes rolled skyward at Tony’s impudence. “The dynasty is just fine, I’m planning to entrust it to this young man’s capable hands.”

The words may have been spoken with a clear intent to chastise, but with Howard’s back turned to his son, Steve was treated to the full glory of Tony’s reaction. His eyes widened in obvious delight, and one side of his mouth turned up, emphasizing his unique goatee in a way that felt decidedly naughty.

“I hope that means I’ve met with your approval, sir?” Steve said, his heart racing in his chest at the possible double meaning.

“Did you ask him about his hopes and dreams when he was a lad?” Tony asked, coming over to look Steve over as if he were a piece of merchandise. He was carrying the handkerchief that had caught Steve’s eye, and made sure to flick it in his direction a few times, much to his father’s annoyance.

“It’s for your own good, not that you know anything about such things,” Howard griped. “Well, young man, I see that you’re in your dress uniform. Since a different officer shared our table at dinner yesterday, it will be no unusual thing for you to appear there tonight.”

“Am I appropriately dressed? I haven’t shined my shoes since we disembarked, and I--”

Tony’s hand came down on his shoulder from behind as a brusque embrace. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! He’s worried about decorum. This will be fun.” The words were dismissive, but the reassuring squeeze at his shoulder before Tony moved away hinted that it was an act.

Dinner was simultaneously boring and exciting, depending on where Steve allowed his gaze. The scattered nature of seating at the table meant that Steve was across from Tony, who was only a seat away from his father. That left Tony able to make subtle faces behind his fork which Steve was obligated to remain composed in the face of. There was something so captivating about his impropriety, the kind of freedom that Steve could only dream of having.

He ignored the number of nightmares he'd had over the years that involved breaking protocol and reaping the consequences.

Howard’s interrogation made more sense now. An impressionable, fashionable young woman with the need to make a wealthy match would find it near-impossible to resist Tony Stark’s specific charms. The question was, did Howard have other concerns? Was Steve one of a long line of ‘reputation minders?’

“Sub-Lieutenant?”

Steve started in surprise, looking up to see the entire table’s faces arrayed toward him. He’d been staring down at his bowl for so long the shape was burned in for a few seconds. Tony’s expression was smug, as though he knew he was the cause of the woolgathering.

“My apologies,” Steve said, covering his discomfort by touching his lips with his napkin. 

“Not at all!” one of the women at the table said kindly. “I confess I forget the question. Someone called out your name in concern you were fatigued, I believe?”

Thinking quickly, Steve decided to go for a kind of flattery. “I’m embarrassed to say I am not. I was caught up in memories of other lively conversations, which made me think of friends I haven’t seen for a long while.”

“I hadn’t considered that!” Mrs. Astor exclaimed. “It’s much harder to see them as often, when you’re away aboard ship, isn’t it?” 

The unspoken sentiment that finances were the real impediment hung uncomfortably in the air for a few seconds, and Steve didn’t dare look over at Tony as he nodded.

“The prestige of this voyage should set you up nicely for years, I imagine,” Howard remarked, and the conversation passed to other things. Steve didn’t dare look over at Tony for the rest of the meal, but after a good ten minutes of this, he did notice more noises coming from the table across from him.

The impish man seemed to be baiting him. Steve’s instincts told him he’d be most rewarded by remaining stoic, just as Tony had instructed on the deck earlier that day. It was the first time he’d chosen to be cool and professional because it was exciting, rather than out of duty.

He only slipped up once, but the image of Tony Stark slouching petulantly in his chair, a golden fork in his fingers mid-strike against his plate for the fifth time in a row was well worth the split-second glance.

Unfortunately for the man in question, he was busy speaking to his father and missed it.

When the ladies and gentlemen broke to spend time in their respective after-dinner areas, Steve made his way over to the Stark men for instructions. Tony was already agitated when he got there.

“--tedious, and you know it. It’ll be better for business if I’m not there.”

“I don’t know how you could come to that conclusion,” Howard said drily.

“Just--” Tony broke off, dropping his gesturing hand to jitter at his side. Then he caught sight of Steve. “Just send me onto the deck to ‘think about’ my behavior at dinner and let Sub-Lieutenant Rogers explain all the maritime terms until my eyelids fall off. He’ll do it, look at him! He’s a statue carved by duty.”

The sharp look Tony shot his way certainly sliced through him, but it wasn’t duty that held the knife.

“Go on, then,” Howard said, lighting his pipe. “Keep him distracted from the ladies, would you, Rogers?” he added before turning to follow the group of esteemed men heading for the smoking room.

“I’m still not looking over at you,” Steve whispered to Tony. The act of even saying that sent his heart racing, and the two of them hadn’t even defined what it was that he was avoiding.

“You’re more nervous than a skittish thoroughbred!” Tony whispered at his back, as Steve led him out onto the promenade deck. There were few others out there, but he kept walking until they were standing at a railing the farthest from the door.

He turned around and anchored himself with one hand on the metal, just as before. His heart sank to see the way his companion couldn’t stand still, his eyes darting about. Was he drunk? 

“Forgive me, Mr. Stark, but were you serious about the equals thing?”

Stark clenched his jaw. “It’s Tony, and yes.”

Using his first name seemed like acknowledging that there was something unspoken, and Steve was ashamed to admit he wasn’t brave enough. He sidestepped the issue by not using any form of address at all. What he wanted to do was confront Tony about his behavior, which seemed the height of reckless disobedience, exactly the thing Howard wanted Steve to curtail. Was this some sort of game?

It wasn’t like him to risk his employer’s reputation with that kind of confrontation. “You didn’t have to do that.” Tony’s furrowed brow and possible inebriation led him to elaborate. “Compli-- Speak of me on such high terms.”

“Oh, it wasn’t just for you. I was starting to worry about whether your smile joints work. Angering my father was gravy.”

“I noticed,” Steve allowed, somewhat mollified. He looked down at his shoes. “You told me to remain impassive.”

He could hear Tony’s grin in his response. “So I did! You were magnificent.”

Did the railing just give under his hand? Because he felt he could only say something this outrageous after a clear moment of goodwill between them, Steve said, “Was that all to get a rise out of me, or your father? With respect, I don’t think I’m a good target for such things.”

Tony stepped closer, his expression sobering. After a few seconds of scrutiny, he nodded thoughtfully. “I appreciate your candor. Both, I’ll admit. I see now why you might have found it uncomfortable, rather than the game it could have been.” He set his hand next to Steve’s on the railing, without touching. “Can I guess at something?”

Steve nodded.

“The situation made you feel responsible for me, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe that I was misusing my power over you? In creating culpability?”

The reluctance in Steve’s tone turned it gravelly. “Yes.”

“What if I told you I preferred it the other way? That I find it exhausting to always hold the power?”

Steve’s heart stuttered in his chest on hearing that. In fear, yes, but also some other motivator, one that hid in the shadows of his mind, sometimes warring with his sense of what was right, what was just.

“Rogers?” 

His instincts told him what to say, but did he have the strength?

“I don’t mean to talk past you, do not trouble yourself. Just a gripe on the imbalance of--”

“My name is Steve,” he interrupted Tony. “Please use it.”

He shouldn’t, couldn’t demand, even though there was every indication that Tony wanted him to. The way Tony's whole body froze still for a second made Steve question himself, but then he turned around. The look of joy and relief on his face hit Steve as hard as their first physical touch had.

Next chapter...

Note: I couldn't resist having Tony reference Major Archibald Butt, a first-class passenger and confidante of President Taft. It was the loss of his friend that had Taft so infuriated at the conflicting reports and machinations by the Marconi company regarding the messages of rescued survivors directly after the sinking. I mention it here because not everyone might know of his existence, and that's quite a last name!

[sabaweli]

Chance encounter in Busan

DongHyun glances at me in the quiet afternoon train and with mischief in his voice he says "you're cute". Saying it out loud is a risk and he knows it. His English can only carry simple sentences but we're able to understand each other because we are both excited and the novelty of meeting each other makes everything feel possible. He found me struggling with my luggage at the bus terminal looking for the subway sign just as I arrived in Busan. He offered his help as many other korean men had done since I arrived but usually they'd help you up the stairs without a word then be on their way. DongHyun, eager to practice his English, I assumed, asked more questions. He asked where I was headed and if he could help. I gave him a once over and decided he didn't seem sketchy and honestly I could use the help getting to my beach side hotel. I had left Seoul without doing too much research on how to get around in Busan and now in this new city, I felt out of my depth.

Once inside the train he gestures for us to stand up and walk towards the door where the map is located. He then explains to me the route we will take and the subway connections we will make to get to where I am going. As I'm standing next to him I became hyper-aware of the looks we are receiving. Me, a pudgy black girl with fauxlocs in a sea of korean people next to this towering Korean man who appears to like being seen next to me. Most people in the train are elderly which only heightens my self consciousness.

We sit down and I want to make conversation but the other passengers are quiet so I follow suit. He also seems comfortable in the silence.

After a few changes and very curious stares from children, we reach the Gwangalli beach station and he takes over my suitcase. The oceanside air is balmy and there's a breeze. It's Sunday afternoon and the beach is packed. The walk to the hotel is longer than I expect and with a suitcase in tow, far less comfortable than I prefer. As we approach the hotel I start to get anxious. How will I politely thank him and ask him to leave? He's been friendly but I definitely get the impression that he has nowhere to be and he's looking for a good time. I too wouldn't mind fooling around but I need to get a bit more comfortable with the idea.

As we walk up the stairs to the entrance I broach the subject. "Thank you so much. You've been so helpful, I'd like to treat you to a meal but I need you to wait for me in the lobby so I can freshen up a bit. Is that OK?". "Oh it's okay. But you can't buy me a meal. In Korea older person buy food", he responds. I get the sense that there's no arguing but I protest anyway. We eventually settle on a plan where he'll buy me dinner and I'll pay for drinks. It's a compromise.

He takes a seat on one of the couches at reception as I check in. My room is impressive and has ocean views but I don't have time to admire it, I take a quick shower and put on comfortable clothes with a floral headband and go back down stairs. I'm half expecting that he's left but I find him waiting outside smoking his e-cigarette. "Wah, beautiful" he says, when he sees me. I giggle a little which he seems to enjoy. Out we go looking for restaurant. I'm finally going to have the barbecue I haven't been able to have as a solo traveller. And the tall eager man with a big build and glasses next to me is going to show me a good time.

[mrwhiffy]

"A Whiff of Australia: The Rise of Novelty Air Fresheners Down Under"

A Sweetly Scented Slice of Australia

In recent years, novelty air fresheners in Australia have become more than just a household item; they’ve become a conversation starter, a gift idea, and a staple of Australian-themed memorabilia. For those who want to bring a little Aussie spirit into their home, there's an abundance of options. Some feature classic Australian scents like eucalyptus, synonymous with the country's vast bushland, while others tap into the iconic smells of a summer BBQ or the refreshing fragrance of Australian rain.

Perhaps the most amusing are the food-inspired air fresheners that mimic the scent of beloved Aussie snacks. Imagine the smell of freshly opened Vegemite (yes, it exists as an air freshener), or the sweet scent of Tim Tams – these novelty scents bring the flavours of the Australian pantry to the airwaves, if you will. For many Australians, these food-scented air fresheners evoke nostalgia and local pride, making them a fun and fragrant addition to any vehicle, home, or office.

Aussie Wildlife Gets a Whiff of Recognition

Australia’s diverse wildlife has long been a source of fascination, and Australian novelty air fresheners have jumped on this trend by producing scents that celebrate the country’s iconic creatures. Koalas, kangaroos, and even the platypus are featured on air fresheners that also release a variety of natural aromas. The koala air fresheners, for example, may emit a calming eucalyptus scent, while the kangaroo-inspired ones might offer something more earthy and woodsy.

What’s more, these air fresheners often come in the shape of these animals, adding a cute and kitschy visual element to their function. They're perfect for Australians who want to express their love for the country’s wildlife and unique flora and fauna, all while keeping their car or home smelling fresh and inviting.

Practical Fun for Aussies on the Go

The rise of novelty air fresheners air fresheners in Australia can also be attributed to the growing trend of personalised and custom products. Many Australian manufacturers offer bespoke air fresheners that allow you to choose not only the scent but also the shape and design. Whether it’s a surfboard, boomerang, or Aussie flag, these air fresheners can be tailored to reflect the unique tastes and personalities of their owners.

For Australians, especially those living in warmer climates, an air freshener is a must-have, especially for cars that can become overheated in the summer sun. And as the popularity of novelty air fresheners grows, so too does the variety of scents available. Consumers can now opt for fragrances that range from tropical fruits to beach breezes, making it easy to add a little extra Aussie flavour to their daily routines.

A Lasting Trend

The novelty air freshener market in Australia shows no signs of slowing down. Whether it’s a birthday gift, a quirky addition to a car, or a decorative touch for the home, Australians continue to enjoy these fun and fragrant reminders of their country’s unique charm. So, the next time you're in the market for a little something extra, consider picking up an Aussie-themed air freshener. It might just be the perfect way to bring a little bit of Down Under into your life — one delightful scent at a time.

[worldstop10]

Ten Nerdy, Unusual and Novelty Egg Cups For Easter 2024

New Post - Ten Nerdy, Unusual and Novelty Egg Cups For Easter 2024

As the spring air begins to freshen our days and the hues of Easter start to paint our homes, it’s time to think beyond the conventional when it comes to Easter celebrations. Gone are the days when Easter meant just a simple egg hunt in the backyard or a basket filled with the usual chocolate bunnies. In 2024, it’s all about infusing your holiday with a touch of quirkiness, a dash of geek chic,…

[formeryelpers]

Local Fixture, 6728 Bright Ave, Whittier, CA 90601

I was trying to think of a way to describe the vast array of merchandise that Local Fixture carries – general store came to mind. I visited their website and they do call themselves a general store. If you’re looking for gifts that are under $50 (for the most part) and on the smaller side, they have tons of items for kids, teens, women, and men with a wide range of tastes.

They have sunglasses, jewelry, candles, apothecary, plush toys, cookbooks, kid’s books, TONS of Dodgers gear, Whittier local clothing, hats, scarves, bags, gadgets, art supplies, greeting cards, trays, live plants, planters, socks, blankets, mugs, water bottles, keychains, pins, stickers, etc. They carry brands like Herschel, Fjallraven, Baggu, Volupsa, Hydro Flask, New Era, etc. I think it’s geared towards college students and millennials.

I think the $16 mugs are overpriced for the quality and the keychains are pricey too because they look like they’re low quality. I wanted to get my friend a Harry Styles air freshener but $12 seemed like a lot for a small novelty air freshener. That air freshener is $6 at The Monroe Mercantile.

My picks:

Harry Styles birthday cards for my friend ($5)

At the very back they have a coffee bar that serves Stumptown Coffee espresso drinks and sells donuts.

4 out of 5 stars

By Lolia S.

[onlineshoppingindubai12]

5 Essential Interior Accessories for Your Car

"The car you drive says a lot about who you are." Alexander Paul

In our cars and trucks, we spend a lot of time. Some may even claim to live in their vehicles. If you're always on the go but your car or truck is lacking in functionality and comfort, you might want to consider some incredibly affordable interior car accessories. This will make your continuous car time more enjoyable. The best part is that none of these items are prohibitively expensive.

Cars were basically vehicles used in the past to help people move around. A car in today's world is, however, way more than just transportation due to advancements in technology and lifestyle. These are five interior components or accessories that your car needs to make it more functional and provide that little bit of convenience to improve your ride.

Mobile Car Charger

We spend a few hours each day on mobile devices as people. We need a mobile phone in order to stay in touch and complete work while on the go, and our mobile phones require charging in order to perform correctly. We can make sure the batteries in our phones are charged as we get ready to rock and roll by purchasing a reliable mobile charger. On extended rides, we can listen to music and podcasts without being concerned about the batteries dying.

Containers & Storage

A disorganized car interior may soon be history. A sleek and contemporary console organizer that has space for everything you frequently bring along for the ride should take the place of the plastic grocery or litter bag currently fastened to the gear shift. The interior of your ride can be swiftly and affordably cleaned up with high-end leather options and inexpensive models. Not only are organizers useful, but they also look good.

A lot of unsecured items on the floorboard or front seat raise safety concerns once again. With any sudden stop, a stray Coke can become a projectile. Avoid having missiles fly erratically past your car when you're driving. Use containers & storage boxes for car to contain all those errant items.

Don't forget about the cargo space or your passengers. There are organizers to gather their gear, handle entertainment devices, and help minimize spillage if you have kids that you are constantly rushing between activities or school.

The numerous storage options make it easy to maintain a clean and functional cargo or hatch area. The days of using milk cartons as organizers may be over. Contemporary cargo storage is more functional, with accommodations for specific items and even thermal options for the typical supermarket run. It is also more attractive.

Air Fresheners for Cars

Every great car has a pleasant aroma. In a few weeks, the novelty and freshness of the smell will fade and make your car smell and feel like any other car. To get around this, purchasing a high-quality air freshener from a reputable car accessories retailer guarantees that your car always smells good. On dreary, muggy summer days, this will also help get rid of the sweat odor and raise your spirits!

Seat Covers & Accessories

You may be asking why these two essential items are combined. The short answer is that sunshades and removable seat covers protect the interior of the car, which helps with trade-in or resale value. Not to mention, these practical accessories give your ride style and personality.

By the way, you might want to reconsider your belief that a windshield sunscreen is not necessary if you don't reside in a sunny area. Even on the cloudiest of days, UV rays are constantly present and can be harmful.

Mobile Phone Holder:

You may focus on getting to your destination without constantly unlocking your phone's screen to help you while driving thanks to a simple mobile holder placed on your car's dashboard. There are dozens to hundreds of mobile holder options available in online stores that sell car accessories.

The Conclusion

It's important to enjoy your car driving experience. Making rides fun, comfortable, and convenient can be accomplished by investing in these classic accessories.

Get the components you require to help you on your drive right now at MG Influences.

[wingsdreamt]

steeleidolon​:

“Hah, yeah, it did. Had to make sure you’d remember it with your weird DM-4Y dates though,” Kunsel teases. And of course he had other reasons for keeping the passcode as Zack’s birthday. Reasons he does not need to voice at the moment, keeping a fair eye and ear out on their surroundings. Even with deployments, emptiness does not mean nobody is home. Muffled voices down the hall, behind closed doors, have the cadence of phone calls.

The door seals in a riptide of memories, sweeping Kunsel up in the current. He lived here alone after Zack accepted the housing move. Years from now. Now, it is a living space, strewn with all the evidence thereof. Sight and smell and sound. The lights inset into the drop-ceiling overhead have a texture all their own, round tube bulbs imparting a subtle undulation to the shadows they cast–just the tiniest bit canted for the contraband goods the popcorn panels hide. There’s the narrow hall to the (blessedly clean) ensuite. They had to keep it tidy or it would become extra disgusting, given the whole combination toilet-and-sink-tap situation.

A green tree air freshener covered in googly eyes dangles from the fan pull-chain.

There’s the calendar whiteboard with a peeling corner, novelty fridge magnets and chip clips holding coupons and photos to its surface. Smudged goofery in blue and green dry erase is easy enough to miss by someone charged with inspections, but they knew it was there. Schedules, messages, reminders. A doodle of Stamp with a quote bubble above. The quote is blank at the moment.

Starched uniform pants and shirts set aside, an afterthought sees Kunsel pulling the sword from his back and sticking it to the magnetic knife strip on the wall underneath the dry erase board. He remembers laughing his ass off at the notion of using a broadsword for ham carving one holiday season. Not exactly spiral cut. It was still delicious, even partly pulped.

Maybe Zack is too obvious. Maybe Kunsel is too oblivious in his reminiscence. Unexpected, this sudden proximity, punctuated with a thump against the wall. Nowhere to go as Zack closes off any exit. Unexpected but not unwelcome, for all that the air seems thinner, a low breath through parted lips as he angles his chin up, Adam’s apple bobbing to Zack’s confession, heart thrumming to nibbles, sniffs. 

There may be neighbors to hear them, to complain or to side-eye knowingly, or even to eavesdrop. That notion is less of a problem than Kunsel anticipated. Far, far less of one after all of his caution, all of his paranoia, all of the masks he wore to proceed through ShinRa’s halls of power.

A thread of adrenaline, vibrant and resonant, slips down his spine, unfurls the mast. Gone, the helmet and the turtleneck, swordbraces jangling, sloughed to hang from his belt. Bright-dark eyes, brighter grins, and bare skin tinting warm, warning, all an unspoken promise.

Kunsel wastes no time grabbing hold of Zack’s suspenders and pulling him close, body heat a sharp contrast to the cold of metal behind his back. Not helpful, and he doesn’t care, not just this second. Not as he cranes and asserts a kiss, lips and teeth and tongue, biting and breathy in its demand.

Wanting. Needing, as if his life depends on it, fierce and crushing. Soothing and tender, pursued with a tilt of chin and abiding pressure, forward step torso to torso, gapless as can be. Seconds, moments, beat-heartbeat, humming with pleasure.

“Just this?” he murmurs his affectionate challenge in a scant sliver of space. “Your bunk was the perfect height.”

He ought to temper his voice. He does temper his voice, flicking his barbell against Zack’s lower lip with a velvety chuckle.

The memory of absence is still fresh, at odds with the close quarters they shared and share now. 

No more time to lose waiting. The order of things they should have done and should be doing matters less in this moment in front of him right now. Seizing every second, every breath, every kiss, he feels feather light. Alive and not alone. In control of his own fate, making room for new promises, taking the opportunity for reckless devotion simply because they can. 

From counting sunrises and sunsets, breakneck and bloody, to pondering spam on a bed of rice or spam sandwiched in rice. 

"Hey now," Zack starts, a gentle roll of gravel in his voice. The crackle of energy residing in the precious little space between them sparks more than just want for stolen breath or the teasing trace of a rounded barbell over parted lips. Thrilling anticipation spreads, encompassing, from points of contact, from head to toe. Zack retracts his arm from the wall, strumming over auburn velvet at Kunsel's nape, passing fingertips over the curve of his jaw to stroke a thumb over a burnished cheekbone. A quiet laugh, breathless, precedes the many, many possible answers that come to mind. 

 "If I really told you everything, they'd put me in horny jail."  

Contraband snacks and cinema notwithstanding, the walls here were not built to keep secrets. Patches of drywall have been filled in with spackle and scraped level in places where SOLDIERs forgot their strength. They lived in enclosures more fragile than they were. 

Harmony between roommates, between comrades and shared walls, was maintained through various formal and informal agreements. Socks tucked into the hinges of door handles, meaningful thumps following the cadence of impolite syllables through thin walls. 

Actions have consequences. Inaction has a cost too. He can live with the possibility that a rumor or two might gain traction in their wake. Nor does Zack possess any qualms about encircling his arms above Kunsel's shoulders, holding fast and holding close as he angles for another kiss that leaves no room to draw breath. Slowly and fully at first, like they have all the time in the world. Then desperate with soft gasps and nibbles against skin, as though he could not be convinced that every moment they have now is enough.

"Besides," Zack continues, eyes lambent and fervent with unspoken desire as he pushes their hips together and pins Kunsel fully against the wall with his weight, "I'm sure reality won't disappoint."

[ghoulgoon]

for those not into deltarune, 1) a couple weeks ago fangamer announced a deltarune merch drop for today, 2) people immediately started speculating that they were going to release a spamton plush (imo mostly out of wishful thinking bc actually bringing plushes to market is a multi month long process even without pandemic-related issues), 3) the actual drop happened 45 minutes ago as of posting this and it turns out that yes, they are working on a spamton plush but it’s not going to be ready until next year, and in its place they released a spamton “fun pak” for 20 american dollars that includes one (1) temporary tattoo, doorknob hanger, car air freshener, novelty pencil, magnet, “pipis ->” sticker, sponge, and pipis shaker, and 4) the initial batch of fun paks sold out in 25 minutes flat and the second batch at a “specil discounted rate” of $19.97 sold out in under a minute. there is literally something in the water making people swarm this garbage puppet like a bunch of angry wasps

[angryrantsofdomesticity]

Cursed BNHA Takes 3

Mic raps his pizza orders over the phone.

Sero secretly collects novelty tape dispensers. As a child he thought they were his siblings.

Kurogiri kicked Twice out of his bar only to see a clone standing behind him just like the Simpson’s Moe/Barney meme.

Higakure always cried at the ‘Reflection’ scene in Mulan.

Dark Shadow dances like a parrot every time he hears music.

Hawks must be kept away from statues at all costs. 

Toga has a kawaii knife collection. She calls them her ‘stablings’

Koda is traumatized by what he hears the dumpster raccoons whispering behind the dorms at night.

Teachers assume the trashy panties on their dorm’s laundry line are Midnight’s. Only Aizawa knows they belong to Mic. 

Pony Tsunotori had to get a restraining order against all Bronys.

Kendo wants to make the dough for the world’s largest pizza.

Bakugou got his driver’s permit but lost it the next day in a road rage incident. (he saw Deku)

Mic fans refer to him as 🎁🎤 over text.

Bakugou goes on a cooking show to duke it out with Gordon Ramsey only to discover Ramsey is secretly Lunch Rush.

Cementos has a brother who couldn’t become a hero for legal reasons. His name? Asbestos.

Heroes with fire quirks like Bakugou & Endeavor have to wear butt pads to hinder any methane related accidents.

Amajiki was definitely raised catholic

Pro heroes saw Deku’s notebook & he got slapped with a case & desist. 

Aizawa gets Hatsume to build him an automated cart which navigates like a roomba so he can sleep & go at the same time. Once Aizawa entered a meeting like this & everyone thought he was dead on a gurney pushed by Hagakure.

Iida’s parents are Optimus prime & sonic the hedgehog.

Bakugou gave Iida an air freshener for Christmas.

What if Deku stayed quirkless & became a youtuber instead .

Aizawa is addicted to girlscout cookies & will buy cases at a time. He regularly pours entire boxes of thin mints into his mouth at once.

Nedzu is actually Deku’s dad. He was turned into an animal & had his memories erased. 

[bloody-oath]

How would each slasher react to accidentally sitting on a whoopee cushion? I’m just imagining Chucky or Freddy having those fake whOops expressions and pretend to fan it out like complete jerks just to annoy others. (it’s kinda funny when you think about it though.)

Accidentally Sitting on a Whoopee Cushion

Jason Voorhees: Like Pepperidge Farm, Jason remembers farts. It has been awhile though; what was once an evacuation pod for wind has since been sealed with crust. This zombie feels nostalgic.

Michael Myers: Never has Michael leapt off a chair faster. Similar to throwing a cucumber in the presence of a cat, he near hits the ceiling. Is this a new adversary?

Freddy Krueger: He is reunited with an old pal; his sole friend as a kid was a whoopee cushion. Expect him attempting to embarrass his victims by introducing the novelty into their nightmares.

Bubba Sawyer: Just sits there as though nothing happened due to having a 10-second delayed reaction. Hmm? Oh. Ha, would you look at that. :)

Nubbins Sawyer & Chop Top: Almost pissing themselves. The single remaining brain cell these two shared upped and left. They believe it is the greatest thing since sliced bread… if they know what that is.

Drayton Sawyer: Digging a hole to bury himself in. How humiliating. Someone is going to get the handle of a broom broken off in their arse.

Brahms Heelshire: Nothing is unfuckable.

Chucky: Absolutely fans it out. A veteran at wafting. He cannot help but cackle at the gag. If anyone tells him it is immature, he only laughs harder.

Hannibal Lecter: Possesses the smallest of smirks on his lips. The quality is dismal and he is far from impressed, but the thought of knowing someone expected it to be funny entertains the cannibal. He is not laughing with them, rather at them.

Norman Bates: Unimpressed. Disgusted. Sprays air freshener regardless.

Pennywise: Familiar with the practical joke. Respects the humour, but plans on shoving it down the throat of a snotty-nosed kid. Do not try to prank a prankster.

Pinhead: Evaporates out of thin air.

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher: One is the giver, and the other, the receiver. One never tires from the absurdity, and the other never found it humorous in the first place. This cushion will be the cause of a broken bromance.

John Kramer: This old geezer cannot tell who made the noise; himself or the cushion. Wrinkled asshole so loose, the farts just roll out.

Jack Torrance: Sober Jack could not give a shit. Drunk Jack thinks it is the shit.

Yautja: He is like when a dog drops one and has no fucking clue where it came from. Naked and Afraid™.

Ash Williams: Suddenly back to being a young boy, Ash is childishly delighted. Immediately wishes to seek revenge and tries to plant it underneath every seat. Any responsibilities he had for the day have been abruptly terminated.

Art the Clown: In hysterics. There are tears in his eyes; his hands are clapping and his knee has been slapped. Expect him to invest in the whoopee game. Obsessed.

[everysongineverykey]

thank god for spamton. i've decided i do quite like him actually. what a guy. never have i witnessed such unified fucking insanity as when they released a crappy "fun pak" themed around him that included, among other useless things, an air freshener and a novelty pencil, and the entire fandom lost their fucking minds and bought every single one in under an hour. and then in under a minute. i can't wait for them to release a plushie of him. doesn't matter how fucking ugly it is the entire stock will sell out in ten seconds