#nothings real enough. isnt that so fucking stupid what a phase to go thru. but id like some catharsis! in a way i'll never get bc i know im
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having a gender moment but i think i also have worse things going on
#sinth#nothings real enough. isnt that so fucking stupid what a phase to go thru. but id like some catharsis! in a way i'll never get bc i know im#just going to drag myself around decaying until i die (naturally) or until i hit a rock bottom of sme sort where i have the chance to chang#something about me. idk like. the heart of it is i wish i was either born a 'normal' cis masculine guy (which will never happen) or i that#i'm enough of a gender fuck to be outwardly noticeably queer in feminine clothing (which i cant have unless i fucking do something because#no matter what i like to think i look like a girl to everyone else. all the time)#maybe i'll get some bandages and shave my head and put on a jacket and baggy jeans and talk real low and pretend im not just playing dress#up. maybe i'll go on t and shave my legs and wear a pretty dress and stand with my legs too wide and claw at my chest#idk. thats not really the point
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