#nothing to say live 256

[chubjoon]

From Big to Bigger

Seokjin was chubby. That was a fact. It's been a fact for all his life now. 

But he seemed to always want more. He always groped his own belly in front of the mirror, sad that it wasn't bigger than its size now. And he couldn't know why he wanted it so much, he didn't understand it. 

He always ate a little too much during his meals to try and change his weight, to no avail. He didn't have that much money to spend on more food, his savings were tight. So he tried to be content at 234 pounds but he never was and doesn't think he'd be. 

That was until he met Namjoon. 

Namjoon was a friend of a friend whom he met at a party. He always felt anxious at these parties, mainly because it happened one too many times that someone would go up to him and say that it was sad he was fat since he had a pretty face. Seokjin knew they were stupid people but it made him feel bad anyways. 

Namjoon was a gem. At that party, he went up to him and started the conversation. He talked about his interest and he listened intently as Seokjin told his. He never made the older feel less of himself. And he even complimented Seokjin's chubby cheeks, telling him it was cute. Overall, it was love at first sight for Seokjin. 

It was after a long while that he got the guts to ask Namjoon out, and the younger said yes immediately with no hesitation. Seokjin was the happiest man alive at that moment. 

They went out to eat sometimes but they mainly stayed at Namjoon's house (since he lived alone and didn't have a roommate like Seokjin did), where Namjoon let Seokjin order as much food as he wanted whenever they ordered take out. Seokjin wouldn't admit it but he took advantage of the situation to buy enough food for him to gain weight, always a little bit more each time. 

Namjoon didn't seem to be disgusted by it, in fact he was always the one to push Seokjin to eat, saying it was important for him to stay healthy and eat well. Seokjin didn't think it would've worked out as well as it did. 

RIght now, he stepped onto his scale and waited for the numbers to show up. 256 pounds , it read. Seokjin smiled big at that, he gained a lot more than he intended to. He took his belly which was folding over the hem of his pants and gauged the weight of it. He felt how softer he was, how jiggly it felt. It was a bliss.

He placed back his shirt that he’d lifted and watched at how small it appeared on him. It was almost too small to cover his belly and he knew that if he lifted his arms it’d just lift up and uncover a good chunk of it. 

He ordered more food than he could pay for and waited impatiently until it arrived. When it did, he took all of it and set it on his coffee table in front of the TV and put on one of his favorite movies.

He was happy about it obviously but a voice at the back of his mind told him that Namjoon will slowly find him repulsive and he’ll abandon him like it had already happened before. His smile dropped slowly and he sighed, putting the hoodie he was wearing back on and going out of the bathroom.

It was his day off and he’d planned to rest and do nothing but watch TV all day but now he couldn’t stop thinking of Namjoon leaving him sooner or later and it made him spiral.

And what did he do best when spiraling? Eat.

But he didn’t pay attention to it at all. He just ate as much as he could without really thinking about it. 

“Hey Joon-ah!”

And dang, as he leaned back because of the stomachache he was getting, he saw that polished off almost all of the food he bought. But what stunned him the most was how distended and tight his stomach looked, stretching the hoodie he was wearing. Suddenly, he felt like yeah, gaining was great, but this was better. He rubbed his belly for a while, pushing on it a bit to let burps out. After a long while, he got enough motivation to get up and clean the coffee table up, putting the small amount of leftovers in the fridge and throwing the packages away. Because of all the movements and walking, at some point he felt a breeze under his belly. He blushed and saw that his hoodie and shirt slipped up slowly without him noticing. He took the hem and pulled it down.

When he sat back down on his sofa, his phone rang beside him. He took it and saw that Namjoon was calling. He smiled and answered. 

“Hi hyung, tell me is it okay if I come over?” Namjoon asked with a smile apparent in his voice. 

“No no, I really want you to come here. You know I’m always happy to see you” Seokjin responded sincerely. 

“Oh! Oh, well hum yeah, if you want. I was going to watch a movie” he said a bit nervously. Namjoon must’ve caught on to it because the concern in his tone now was obvious.

“Jin-hyung you know it’s okay if you want to say no, I won’t take it badly”

“Okay. great then” Namjon said with a smile. “See you in 5 minutes” he said before hanging up suddenly. Seokjin didn’t have time to question anything before his intercom rang. He laughed a bit and got up to open up to his lover. After doing so, something made him blanched up. 

His stomach was still big and bloated from everything he ate, and there were not many ways to hide it. He quickly left the door open slightly and sat back down on his sofa, grabbing his blanket and wrapping himself around it. He took the remote and searched through random films on Netflix, playing nonchalant. 

He heard a knock before hearing Namjoon speak up. 

“Hyung? Can I enter? You left it unlocked. ” he asked from the doorway. 

“Yes Joon-ah come in, I left it open for you. I’m searching for a movie, but I don't know what to choose.” Seokjin said with a small laugh, acting as if nothing was strategically calculated. He heard the door close and footsteps approaching him until he felt Namjoon back hug him from the back of the couch, burying his face in his neck. Seokjin smiled and put his hands on Namjoon’s.

“I missed you” the younger said before separating from the other to sit down beside him. 

“Me too” Seokjin responded, looking at Namjoon in the eyes for the first time since he came in. Namjoon smiled at him and pecked him on the lips. Then settled his head on Seokjin’s shoulder. 

"Hyung, I wanted to talk to you about something" Namjoon said after a moment.

Seokjin began to feel his anxiety go up. This is the end right? This is when Namyoon breaks up with him after being affectionate for the last time just to make him suffer more about what he'll never have anymore. 

"Yeah?" he managed to croak out somewhat normally. 

"How do you feel about your weight?" Namjoon asked as he straightened up to look at Seokjin in the eyes. The older wouldn't meet his though, he looked down at the blanket around him while he fiddled with it.

"How do you feel about my weight" he asked in response in a tiny voice.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable hyung we don't have to talk about that" Namjoon said, seeing Seokjin's overall body language. "I hum… I just wanted to say that I like hum. Your weight. I mean, your appearance. Overall. And that I don't mind, quite the contrary, that yyyouuu have gained some more. Weight." the younger said awkwardly, blushing more and more as he spoke. 

Seokjin's brain stopped working right there and then. He frowned and looked at Namjoon. 

"What." is all he said. 

Namjoon looked at his hands even more intently at that. 

"If you find it weird just say so now so that we can finish this conversation quick" he said, still awkwardly. 

"No Namjoon I just thought you were gonna break up with me for that reason, that I like, gained a bunch of weight lately. Didn't think you could be thinking otherwise." Seokjin gulped loudly. "And it doesn't bother me either. I mean, I prefer myself that way. So…" the older looked at Namjoon who was still looking at his hands and he hugged him. 

Namjoon hugged him back instantly. 

"I'm planning to gain more. Just so you know" Seokjin said silently near Namjoon's ear. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." 

"Could I help with that?" Namjoon asked. 

"...sure" the older responded, kind of taken aback. They separated and looked at each other in the eyes. Seokjin smiled and leaned in to kiss him at the same time as Namjoon did. 

—

"Come on hyung we're gonna be late" Namjoon said from the bathroom. 

They are supposed to get dinner out but Seokjin was facing a problem. 

He couldn't button either his bigger pants or his biggest shirt. 

He could be blaming it on the fact that he kept himself full for most of the day, but he knew he'd be wrong. He'd gained more than two hundred pounds in a span of a year, pushing briefly towards the 360 pounds mark. So it really wasn't entirely because his stomach was full. 

He still tried to button his pants, but with all of the fat around him it was hard. 

His arms got bigger, smooshed against his soft big belly as he tried to button it. They were almost bursting out of his sleeves.

His double chin made itself known as he looked down at the hole of his pants desperately, almost not seeing it because of his stomach. It was already hard to slip his pants on past his thighs which looked like sausage casings in his pants right now, even harder past his ass. 

He panted, as it was almost a sport for him all that exertion to fit in his clothes. He gave up for a moment, letting his arms down and sighing. 

He heard Namjoon come into the room. 

"What's going on, why aren't you dressed up" he asked, walking towards Seokjin with a small laugh. 

"It's too small, i can't button it" Seokjin responded with a small laugh too when he saw Namjoon blush at the view of his lover almost popping out of his clothes and the top of his pants stretch so apart he doesn't know why Seokjin was even trying to button it. 

"Want me to help?" he asked before he thought of his words. He blushed a bit more but then Seokjin nodded, putting his hands on his hips. 

"I don't see why not. You're strong, it could be helpful" the older said. 

Namjoon nodded and he took the two sides of the pants and brought them together. As predicated, they were so far apart you couldn't even wish to button that.

So he asked Seokjin to suck it in, and then with a bit more of a struggle he was able to button it. It was straining so hard though it didn't look comfortable for Seokjin, but the younger didn't get time to ask if he was alright before the button popped off.

Both men looked at each other. 

"Damn. Well I guess we'll have to eat at home" Seokjin said, rubbing his hand over the tiny indent the tight pants left on his waist. Namjoon just nodded dumbly, stealing a kiss on Seokjin's lips. 

"That was hot" he said, grabbing onto Seokjin's love handles to keep him close. The older giggled. 

"Jeez you can't stop can you. Could you help me with the shirt? I think it'll be easier to button than the pants. I wanna know if it's still wearable" the older asked. 

Namjoon gulped but complied, thinking it was ironic to feel this hot while dressing his hyung up and not undressing him. 

It was easier, though the buttons were straining a lot. Seokjin sighed when Namjoon was done, and both men heard a tiny creak sound when he did. Namjoon felt himself burn up.

"Okay, so… dinner at home" the older said, winking at Namjoon and walking, or more so waddling, towards their living room couch.

It was always the younger who chose what they'd order when they were eating at home, so he pulled his phone out and got to it.

When he opened the door later to the deliverer, he thinks that he might've gotten too excited. He bought way more food than he's ever done. He took the bags and deposited them in the entry, thanking the delivery man who wished him a good party. Namjoon blushed after he closed the door, but it wasn't from embarrassment. 

He took two bags and brought them to the living room, Seokjin lifting his gaze from the TV to him then the bags he brought. Namjoon then picked up the other two, putting them beside the first bags and Seokjin looked at him with surprise in his eyes. They usually bought approximately three bags worth of food.

So when Namjoon went to pick up the final two bags, making it six in their coffee table, Seokjin was looking at him with his jaw dropped. 

"Joonie I wouldn't be able to finish all that" he said, a bit nervous. 

"It's okay if you don't, I think I just got too excited" Namjoon responded, laughing breathlessly before he put all the food out on the table. There really was a lot. 

"I can see that. Come on, let's continue what we were watching on Netflix" Seokjin said as he reached for two big packets of fries to begin eating. 

Namjoon put the series on and snuggled close to Seokjin, stealing some bites of the burgers he was eating and some of his fries sometimes. But at one point, when Seokjin had already demolished more than half of the food present, he had to lean back for his belly to feel less tight. Though his shirt wasn't helping, sounds of creaks were more and more frequent the more he ate, even more now as he downed his third big drink which stretched his belly visibly again. He finished it, burping at the end of it, but nothing happened. 

Namjoon was watching him intently, and when he seemed to have decided to stop moving and just rub his belly, he had to ask. 

"Are you okay?" He asked a bit worryingly. He didn't want his hyung to push himself too far because of him.

Seokjin looked at him with a tiny smile. 

"Yeah I'm okay. It's just tiring to go back and forth to pick up the food…" he trailed off, looking elsewhere. "If only there was a solution for that" he said with a tone that indicated that there was an obvious one. Namjoon thought for about 2 seconds before getting the message. 

"Do you… do you want me to feed you?" he asked shyly. Seokjin nodded, and that was all Namjoon needed. 

He took one of the donut he bought and brought it to Seokjin's lips, and the older began eating. 

The younger gave his food gently, slowly, until Seokjin told him to go faster. It was when Namjoon gave him his fifth donut that it happened. 

A loud creak sound resonated and two buttons of Seokjin's shirt popped off, showing how huge he was with all the food he inhaled. Seokjin groaned at the freedom he felt now, there were some angry red marks on his belly. Namjoon rubbed Seokjin's now naked belly, pushing gently enough to bring burps out of Seokjin, making technically more space in his stomach. 

In the end, Seokjin was able to finish everything thanks to Namjoon feeding him. All the other buttons of his shirt were now open and his girthy belly was now sagging against his thighs, huge enough that he had a hard time circling his arms around it. His belly was rock hard, rare with the amount of fat around it, but with what he ate it was normal. 

"Imagine if you were as huge as that with an empty belly" Namjoon said fleetingly as he rubbed Seokjin's belly still. 

"That's my dream…" Seokjin said.

—

And he surpassed his dreams when he looked even bigger with an empty belly how. He got so huge he was struggling to fit in cars, chairs, doors. He got stuck in door frames more than once, in the rare times he walked during the day. He rarely got out, he mostly stayed home laying on the bed or on the couch. 

His belly sagged now past the middle of his tree trunk thighs when he was standing up, now a huge pack of rolls one over the other. His arms got so fat that it couldn't get flushed against his side anymore. His thighs were so huge they had rolls in between them, making him struggle to walk properly. His neck disappeared into his fat chin, and his chubby cheeks were no joke. His ass was the second biggest thing on him after his gut, rotund and pillowy. There's a lot of stuff he can't do by himself now, but Namjoon was always there to help him. 

Ever since the night when he burst out his pants and shirt, they had occasionally fancy dinners at home where Seokjin ate an absurd amount of food at once with the help of the younger while wearing clothes that were too small for him. Today was a day like that.

He wore and old button up that was struggling to keep closed and that was too short to cover his whole belly, and a pair of slacks that he couldn't button and that seemed to be dangerously stretching around his thighs. Namjoon watched him waddle slowly towards the couch. 

"Hyung, we're not gonna eat there" he said. The older looked at him quizzically before going towards him and followed him towards the kitchen. Namjoon gestured towards a large chair with handles . In front of it was the kitchen table that was obviously filled with food. Seokjin looked at the chair then at Namjoon. 

"I won't fit" he said. Namjoon shrugged. 

"Try" 

And so Seokjin did. He sat slowly on the chairs and felt the handles hit his thighs before his butt sat on the chair. After a bit more wiggling and putting on all his weight on his butt, he was able to sit on it. The handles were squishing his thighs and belly, now barely visible and they got swallowed by the fat of his body, but he was sat. And stuck, probably. 

"See, you fit!" Namjoon said with a small laugh that Seokjin followed. 

"Barely" the older said. Then, they heard the signature creaking sound of seams breaking. The pants Seokjin was wearing split open on the outside of his thighs squished in the chair. 

Namjoon blushed at the same time as Seokjin did. 

"I hum… I-I have another idea to try hyung, tell me if you're okay with it. It's okay if you don't want to" Namjoon said shyly, flustered at the fact that Seokjin already shredded his clothes before they started their ordeal.

"Lemme hear it" 

"What… What if I feed you what we've got here and I decide when to stop?" 

"Like, I basically don't do anything?" Seokjin clarified. Namjoon nodded, and Seokjin nodded back. "Good with me" 

And the giddy smile Namjoon sent him back was worth it. 

Namjoon took one of the multiple burgers he bought and brought it to Seokjin's lips. The older ate with vigor, like he had been starved for days before when in fact he'd been snacking all afternoon on chips and cookies. He ate ravenously as Namjoon forced him to eat more and quicker to get done with the 5 huge burgers he bought. That made a mess of sauce around his lips, now mixing with the icing of the big chocolate cake Namjoon was pushing I'm his mouth. When half the cake had been eaten, Namjoon made Seokjin drank milk which triggered three buttons of his shirt to all pop off at the same time in a loud noise. Namjoon rubbed Seokjin's belly before shaking it, seeing that it's still jiggling and telling his hungry hyung that that meant he hadn't eaten enough yet. 

He shoved more food down Seokjin's throat, until he finished by making Seokjin gulp down a second liter of weight gain shake on top of all the food he force fed him. His belly was so huge it was sinking into the table now, even more so when Seokjin leaned back as much as he could. His belly was even more squished in the chair. It was painful. He looked massive, his belly taking most of the space in front of him.

When he finished drinking the weight gain shake he let out a string of burps to help with the stomach ache he was getting. He looked down at his now buttonless shirt with a sense of pride. All the buttons popped off one by one the more he ate.

"Such a good hog for me. I love you hyung" 

"Me too Namjoon ah" Seokjin responded, panting. He let out more burps to release the tension inside his stomach. Namjoon rubbed his throbbing stomach and nodded ; it was stuffed enough. When he tried to wiggle it, it barely moved.

"Great. Let's get you up now" he said, extending his arms to help Seokjin up. 

It would've already been hard to do with an empty belly, but even more so with a massively stuffed belly in the way. It took them 15 minutes to get Seokjin out of the chair. When they did, Seokjin instantly put his hanging stuffed belly on the table, making a plop sound, to relax and relieve the weight of it. He burps a little more, relieved at the easy feeling that came when he did so. He's never been so stuffed before. 

Namjoon just looked at how huge his lover was, his profile showing how stretched and taunt his belly was. He approached him and put a hand under his belly, carrying the weight. It was so heavy. 

"Let me help you walk to our bed" he said, and Seokjin nodded. They walked to their bed together, Namjoon carrying Seokjin's belly with one hand while the oldest waddled slowly instead of walking. He helped Seokjin sat down on their bed and waw, he was massive. 

It hit Namjoon like a brick to see that his hyung took three fourth of the bed, legs spread to make way for his girthy belly that was sitting heavily on the bed between his thighs. He looked like a beached whale, with his shirt absent of buttons and his pants that split open. Speaking off, they creaked when Seokjin sat down again on the bed, and looked like the hole they created was bigger. 

Seokjin was only still rubbing his belly, eyes closed as he let out burps and appreciate how huge he was, unaware that Namjoon was looking at him with the same amount of hunger he felt about food.

[jlilycorbie]

FFF 256: Nothing and Nobody

Thanks to @flashfictionfridayofficial for the prompt.

I drifted, untouched and unmoored, through a world that had forgotten me so thoroughly even I no longer recalled when or how my last connection to another person frayed and fell away. I didn't even know when, exactly, I left behind my life and my body, and I expected I might wander unnoticed through the world and unacknowledged by the afterlife.

I occupied myself by examining the tethers between every living thing, from the flimsiest silk strand entangled during brief interactions to bindings that could outlast the sun. I learned to stretch myself along them from one end to the other, even when the tattered remains waited for their lost halves to weave together again. 

One day, I idly followed a flimsy line to a girl who drooped against a sign pole, picking at the edges of her ragged nails. She looked up, directly at me. "Did everyone forget you, too?"

I dropped the fragile line and it disintegrated completely. "They forgot you?"

She nodded, disconsolate, and she blinked away tears and put on a brave voice to say, "Sure, it's easy. I'm nobody."

Though I had existed in a world of muted colors for as long as I could remember, my vision filled with vivid crimson. The dust of someone else's care for this child clung to my fingers. "That's funny," I said. "I'm nothing."

She smiled for me, even with tears brimming in her eyes, and she talked quietly as I sorted through her connections to the world. She was young, too young to have only a few weak ties left. Her voice trailed as I stretched myself along each line until I found one, thin as gossamer, and tugged.

It didn't take long before another girl arrived. She called a name, and Nobody didn't even look up. 

"I don't know how," the new girl said, "I knew somebody needed me here." She crouched by the girl, and the line between them glinted and grew. 

Somebody glanced at me, and a thin thread tangled between us. "Maybe something told you."

[separatist-apologist]

Do you think Elain is a coward?

LOL???

NO?

God, okay, this is going to be long but no, I don't think Elain is a coward. I think Elain displays a lot of courage and bravery throughout the series, even when she's afraid and would have every right to do even less than she does. And like always, I can prove it. Below the cut because this became way too long:

Starting in ACOTAR, consider:

When Feyre returns from Spring and is talking with Elain in the garden, Elain is ready to leave everything she knows behind and is asking Feyre if she'd like to go with her (page 256)

"You should come with me," Elain went on. "Nesta won't go, because she says she doesn't want to risk the sea crossing, but you and I...Oh, we'd have fun, wouldn't we?

I'm not always sure I agree with Feyre's assessment that she had less strength than Elain in the next moment because I think Feyre had to do a lot of horrible things that Elain did not, which sucked the joy out of Feyre's life. However Feyre's allowed to think whatever she wants, and this is what she thinks about Elain on page 260:

"I gazed again at that sad, dark house- the place that had been a prison. Elain had said she missed it, and I wondered what she saw when she looked at the cottage. If she beheld not a prison but a shelter- a shelter from the world that had possessed so little good, but she tried to find it anyway, even if it had seemed foolish and useless to me.

She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger."

Again, when Feyre is ready to go, Elain is practical and ready to help, even though I think she's both sad and scared (page 270):

"Elain, to my surprise, had a horse, a sachel of food, and supplies ready when I hurried down the stairs. My father was nowhere in sight. But Elain threw her arms around me, and, holding tightly, said, "I remember- I remember all of it now."

I wrapped my arms around her. "Be on your guard. All of you."

You get a better sense of Elain's courage in ACOMAF, starting on page 248 when her newly made sister and three enormous warriors show up on her doorstep and ask for help. Feyre describes them as "wild and rough and ancient (250), and Elain and Nesta are afraid of the Fae and have been their whole lives:

"'Nesta,' Elain said again, twisting her hands. "If...if we do not help Feyre, there won't be a wedding. Even Lord Nolan's battlements and all his men, couldn't save me from...from them." Nesta didn't so much as flinch. Elain pushed. "We keep it secret- we send the servants away. With the spring approaching, they'll be glad to go home. And if Feyre needs to be in and out for meetings, she'll send word ahead, and we'll clear them out. Make up excuses to send them on holidays. Father won't be back until the summer anyway. No one will know." She put a hand on Nesta's knee, the purple of my sister's gown nearly swallowing up the ivory hand. "Feyre gave and gave- for years. Let us now help her. Help...others."

They're afraid, Feyre can smell it on 253:

My sisters did not curtsy. Their hearts wildly pounded, even Nesta's, and the tang of their terror coated my tongue-

Here is Elain, on 256, owning her part in Feyre's neglect which is the opposite of cowardice because all through this scene she is visibly afraid. She's trembling, her voice is described as a rasp, and she's gripping her knife so tightly Feyre wonders if she might use it as a weapon. A coward would have let Nesta take all the blame:

"And as for Ferye's hunting during those years, it was not Nesta's neglect alone that is to blame. We were scared, and had received no training, and everything had been taken, and we failed her. Both of us."

I can't not share my favorite line ever, on 389:

And it was Elain- Elain- who sighed and murmured, "I hope they all burn in hell."

I think what is highlighted for me in ACOMAF is that if Elain is the coward hiding behind the most powerful person's skirts, and she values power as a way to stay small/unharmed, then Elain would defer to the people she feels has power. Her fiance, with his battlement, her elder sister who runs her household. She could have gone to Graysen and hid behind his walls the minute she saw Rhys/Az/Cassian and who would have blamed her? And instead she conceals from her Fae hating fiance that she's helping them because she views this as working for the greater good and repaying Feyre for years of perceived neglect. And she argues with Nesta to continue helping them, even when Nesta is saying no. Consistently Elain is described as the kind of person who could convince someone to do something with a smile and a few kind words which implies she has learned how to get the things she needs through a combination negotiation, flattery, and perhaps a little manipulation if it suits her. What use are any of those things to a coward? Why not have Nesta do all of that for her?

On page 549, Feyre even acknowledge how strange it is that Elain is there when she could be under Graysen's protection:

"Does my sisters' presence here not speak to you? There is an iron engagement ring upon my sister's finger-and ye here she stands with us."

Elain seemed to be fighting the urge to tuck her hand behind the skirts of her pale pink and blue dress, but stayed tall while the queens surveyed her.

"I would say that it is proof of her idiocy," the golden one sneered, "to be engaged to a Fae-hating man....and to risk the match by associating with you."

That doesn't look like cowardice to me. That looks like courage, that looks like risking everything in service of the greater good, and it even looks a little like shame that she's wearing that iron ring which is a symbol of her and her fiance's prejudice in the face of her Fae sister who I believe Elain does love.

Rhys offers to take Nesta and Elain to Velaris for protection in the face of war and the queens acknowledgement they're leaving the humans to suffer. Rhys, the most powerfully magic man in existence and if Elain values power so much and is such a coward, surely she goes? (555)

Elain swallowed, a doe caught in a snare. "I-I can't. I..."

But she could, and she chooses not to.

Which leads, of course, to her own tragedy. Elain who gives up safety in Velaris for love, finds herself kidnapped and shoved into a Cauldron. Gagged by strangers, and knowing she's going to drown and probably die, Elain still manages this moment on 602:

My sisters were shrieking over their gags. But Elain's cry- a warning. A warning to-

My right, now exposed. Tamlin ran for me. To grab me at last. I hurled a knife at him- as hard as I could.

So now she's traumatized, and I think Elain get's too much unfair criticism for how she handles it. She's never going to be loud, or a warrior and she's not girlbossing her way through it. She is the thing she's always feared and yet, with war coming, Elain is pushing it aside for the moment to think about others (ACOWAR, 470):

Then Elain said quietly, We could move them to Graysen's estate."

And while I think she desperately wants to see him, this is still an act of courage to consider that they would be safe. I also think Elain knows quite well Graysen is not going to accept her as she is now, and still she hopes he will, hopes enough to agree to see him when hiding away and quietly mourning would have been emotionally safer.

Feyre even tells her, on 471,

"This could end very badly, Elain."

She brushed her thumb over the iron-and-diamond engagement ring. "It's already ended badly. Now it's just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences."

Not the worldview of a coward, but I digress.

On 492, before Graysen, the love of her mortal life, and his terrifying Fae hating father, she says:

"Graysen, I've come to beg you..." A pleading glance at his father. "Both of you...Open your gates to any humans who can get here. To families. With the wall down...We-they believe...There is not enough time for an evacuation. The queens will not send aid from the continent. But here-they might stand a chance."

Up to this point, Elain and Graysen are just staring at each other while Nesta and Feyre speak. Elain could have let them continue but they know her best, they've liked/loved her up until they realize what she is, and she knows it. She has to be the one to ask, and so she does.

And God she risks so much. Between 498-499:

"You belong to him."

"I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you."

Elain, willing to damn convention and immortality to be with the man she loves.

"Take that ring off."

Elain's fingers curved into firsts. "No."

Elain in the war is endless courage, despite having no tools to defend herself. After Nesta's scrying causes the Cauldron to lure Elain away as punishment, Elain risks her own life to get out a human when a coward would have looked the other way and risked nothing that put them in danger. On 577:

"Grab onto him!" Elain ordered the wide-eyed human girl as Azriel thundered toward her. The girl looked like a doe about to be run down by a wolf.

The girl did not open her arms as they neared.

Elain screamed a her, "If you want to live, do it now!"

Elain holds the entire time, keeping her from slipping and dying.

Elain, on 610, when the violence is unavoidable and Azriel offers her his knife:

"I -I don't know how to use it-" And of course, Elain, who tells Azriel she doesn't know how to use a weapon, who could have hid (and might have been smart to do so) while everyone else fought, does this (653):

But as a blade broke through the king's throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had.

Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister."

On 655, I love this moment because Elain is truly Cauldron-blessed in that this sentient cooking pot made of ancient, godly magic, loves her and wants to protect her/gift her things. Nesta makes herself into a God, but I think Elain could have been made one, too, had she the inclination. The Cauldron certainly had the will:

The Cauldron seemed to realize what she'd done, too, as his head thumped to the mossy ground. That Elain...Elain had defended this thief. Elain, who it had gifted with such powers, found her so lovely it wanted to give her something...It would not harm Elain, even in its hunt to reclaim what had been taken.

I like this moment because the argument that Elain aligns herself with power implies that whatever/whoever is most powerful would be a draw for her, and yet consistently, Elain eschews that to protect the people she loves, which includes Nesta. It is revisionist history and willful misinterpretation of the text to suggest Elain does not love Nesta because when she comes for Hybern, who has bested EVERYONE at that final last hour, and is poised to kill her sister, there is no reason for her to think her plan will work or that she, too, won't die. And still she comes. She still tries. The last words Hybern ever hears are a defense of Nesta. Don't touch her.

God this is so long. I think Elain gets labeled a coward in part because of what happens in ACOSF- she didn't stand up against the IC, so she's a coward because Nesta would have never let them take her up there, but Elain spends a good portion of ACOFAS trying to coax Nesta out, and then offering Nesta space in equal measure when it's clear Nesta wants to be alone. I'm not going to argue whether the intervention was good (I have made posts about my problems with this before, so go right and spare me your anger), only that Nesta was spiraling and I don't think Elain abandoned her out of cowardice, but a desperate hope to help her sister.

And Elain has never enjoyed the coddling, no matter how she benefitted from it. In ACOSF, we see her pushing back when Elain is offering to scry on Nesta's behalf. Nesta doesn't WANT to scry but Elain DOES (232)

"Absolutely not," Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. "Absolutely not."

"Why?" Elain demanded. "Shall I end to my little garden forever?"

When Nesta flinched, Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater."

I think this moment says so much about how Nesta views herself and what she's worth to people more than anything else. Elain is offering Nesta an out- I will do this because I want to (Feyre states it Elain's choice and still Nesta is saying no), and you don't have to. Nesta can't let her, because she can't risk Elain and Nesta is in such a bad place (and I think she was way before she was made, which only amplified it), that to her, she's the expendable one. She can get hurt, she can be the shield because who would miss her? Who would value her if she didn't? That doesn't make her view true, but it does offer insight into their relationship over the last few books, and it makes Nesta all. the more tragic.

But it doesn't make Elain a coward, either.

Infamous passage on page 580:

And he knew the cruelty of Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn't hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared hat she was part of this court- and would do whatever was needed.

Anyway. This has gotten away from me. Elain is a lot of things, but cowardly is not one of them. Elain gets a lot of shit for being quiet (which someone makes her devoid of a personality- but Azriel is brooding and mysterious and the fandom's sexy, shippable boyfriend like yeah okay) and for internalizing her trauma, but she consistently shows up for her sisters every time it matters, often at the expense of herself. I don't think Elain is drawn to power, nor do I think she's a coward hiding behind whoever can keep her safest. I think Elain is in stasis, partly because her time hasn't come for a narrative but also because she doesn't know where she fits anymore. She has no clear, defined purpose and so she's looking for one.

Also, this is a SJM book. Nesta likes the IC by the end of it and idk why people think Elain wouldn't, too. Feyre, Nesta, and Elain love each other even if you don't so like. I don't know man.

[take2intotheshower]

Endless List of Why I Ship Jane & Kurt - Part 6 (by @kate-dammit-run)

(re-posting to preserve this list, which was originally created and posted by @kate-dammit-run, whose account was deactivated in 2023)

252. Because she’s tough. 253. Because she still loves him. 254. Because she wants love back in her life. 255. And so does he. 256. Because he’s helping her build a relationship with her daughter. 257. Because he’ll try the vegan burgers she loves so much even though they don’t taste like meat. 258. Because she knows and understands his love for chocolate. 259. Because she knows him. 260. And that’s why he loves her. 261. Because they’re a family and families forgive. 262. Because his love for cake makes her giggle. 263. The Kurt Weller Kool Aid. 264. The Weller love staying in and ordering take out. 265. But even they occasionally go out on the town. 266. And their dates are full of all kinds of Jeller-esque flirting– taking note of al exit locations and scanning the crowd for suspicious behavior. 267. Because Kurt loves that his wife picks up on people following them. 268. Because they would rather go hunt down bad guys than have a fancy dinner. 269. Because Mr. Velvet being a sex thing sounds like a good idea. 270. Because they will always show up to save each other’s lives. 271. Because Jane will stop at nothing to protect Kurt. 272. Because Jane wants them to be a family and have Avery move in. 273. Because Kurt would love to have Avery move in. 274. Because FBI corridor snuggles. 275. Because they asked Avery together to move in with them. 276. Because they just want to keep their family safe. 277. Because they spend they’re nights interrogating murderers because that’s just who they are. 278. Because she’s not Remi. 279. Because she was tailor made for him. 280. Because he will protect her no matter what, even from her mother- 281. -and even if it means risking the case. 282. Because holding hands and jumping off buildings. 283. Because all you need to negotiate a peace treaty is five minutes of spending time with Jeller. 284. Because neck kisses. 285. Because being flirty and snuggly is not allowed in Patterson’s lab unless you’re Jane and Kurt. 286. Because she can survive without Roman. 287. Because Jane’s other half is Kurt. 288. Because hand over heart is how they say ILY. 289. Because shiny beautiful rings. 290. Because when she doesn’t respond during a takedown, he leaves the scene of the arrest to go find her. 291. Because he can pick up that she’s not ok by just looking at her. 292. Because she doesn’t hesitate for a second to tell him she thinks she’s pregnant. 293. Because she watches him anxiously after she asks him how he’d feel about them having a baby. 294. Because his entire face lights up and he cannot wipe the smile of his face when she tells him she thinks she’s pregnant. 295. Because they both really want to start a family. 296. Because even after everything that Roman did to them he still understands how important he was to her and he’s there to help her mourn and get through it. 297. Because “calm and collected” Jane loses her shit and puts rage-bullets in Crawford after he gets Kurt shot. 298. Because Jane actually considers not going after Crawford and stay with Kurt after he gets shot even though they’ve spent the whole year just trying to find him. 299. Because just hearing about Jane’s illness is enough to cause Kurt to collapse. 300. Because Kurt Weller doesn’t laugh often, but the thought of having a child and a family with Jane makes Kurt Weller actually laugh. 301. Because we get to see them do it all over again. And they will fall in love all over again because their journey and their story is far from over.

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Oh, i guess it's a good moment to talk about my Percy Jackson x Danganronpa AU, isn't it ? Or even My SCP au if you have some idea i won't be against it, i have a small Idea for my girl Sakura and a very small Idea for Chihiro but beside that i have nothing. (Well, there's still Taka, Mondo and Peko who are written but they are still in review, i started to think about Taka's early life so it might change from the original one lol) and yeah, i may also want to hear about Patches (that's her name right-)

It's definitely a good time to hear about both! Or whichever you wanna talk about more. And if you wanna hear about Patches, then I can do that! Her stuff is pretty short and I'll try my best to not ramble as much. (I've rambled so much on a Yu-Gi-Oh PowerPoint that I just can't stop.)

'Kay, well...hmmm.

Patches was born, but her parents weren't in the picture as her earlier memories were of the lab. And her entire life was in this lab. Her and group of many others were basically tested on every day. It wasn't clear as to why or what they were researching and experimenting on them as everyone had different experiments to go through. And Patches was tested on being created to be a super weapon that can basically destroy the universe.

Throughout her life she was tested and abused by the scientists there. Everyday it was something awful. And everyday it was something that could either have killed her or just injured her in a way. She hated it. She always found herself daydreaming or looking at books about the outside world. She always dreamed to one day finally break out and live her life as a normal human. She'd name herself, maybe even get a job, find someone and be happy. She dreamed of being someone else, she wasn't OE-256, she was herself.

She wasn't the girl who could one day maybe wipe out humanity. She was...herself.

When she escaped, she couldn't remember what really happened. She remembers the fire. The screaming of terror. The burning and scarring she felt. She can't remember if everyone she helped free got out. Or how many people she killed.

She just remembers seeing the lab crash down and burn away. The awful memories finally being just memories. She finally felt free and safe. Her entire childhood and some of her adulthood was wasted away in there. She was glad to see it fall down. In a hazy daze, she finds herself in a city where she meets a man. They bump into each other and they scramble about. The man notices her scars and starts to fuss over them, much to her irritation. She doesn't want his help. He's some rando who just so happened to bump into her and notice her scars.

It made her feel self-conscious.

It irritated her more.

She then finds herself in his home. She doesn't know what to think. She's worried he might know something and would try to kill her or something. But he's kind and caring. Helping her out with her scars. Newspaper. That's his name. It was odd. But then again, she couldn't say anything. Especially with the name she picked for herself. 'Patches.' She was drawn to the word. It was...an interesting word to her.

She wonders if this is what being normal felt like. Having someone worry about you like this. Not leaving you to die or bleed out that you have to help yourself with whatever materials you could use. As the two grow close, she wonders if she's a danger to him. She's scared to get closer to him as she doesn't know of what she's capable of. But his kind words and worry-free personality makes her worries leave.

As she feels like she shouldn't worry. They were okay after all this time together. But she promised herself to take care of Newspaper and make sure he doesn't get hurt trying to protect her.

When it comes to outfits, she wears mostly a dress shirt with a cardigan and whatever pants she finds. She also wears a t-shirt along with some shorts. The only times she'll wear something else is for her modeling job or when her and Newspaper have to attend a party that they were invited to.

Her hobbies are just messing with Newspaper, eating and watching TV. She's also trying to get into sewing because she really likes looking at videos of people making plushies and other stuff.

She also has a birthday, but I don't remember it because it's been so long since I've actually thought about them djdben.

[ongolecharles]

DAILY SCRIPTURE READINGS (DSR) 📚 Group, Mon July 15th, 2024 ... Monday of The Fifteenth Week in Ordinary Time, Year B/ Memorial of Saint Bonaventure, bishop and doctor of the Church ... KNOW YOUR CATHOLICISM

WHAT KIND OF CONVERSION DOES JESUS WANT?

Is the purpose of being a Christian to make more Christians?

You may answer affirmatively depending on the context of your calling. However, the point of Christianity is to work toward that kingdom of friendship and mercy that Jesus himself was building, someone else will add.

But is this right? Did Jesus not so much want to convert us to himself as to his work?

I suppose any good Catholic could find a way to answer, “both yes and no.” Certainly Jesus wants us to imitate him and join him in his work. But he also calls us “evil” and says deflating things like, “apart from me you can do nothing.” He does want us to take up his work and imitate him in his manner of life, but he is devastatingly clear that we will fail if we try to do so without being firmly converted to him, personally, as the vine on which we depend.

So after all, Jesus wants us to be workers for the Kingdom and it is equally right that this kingdom is one of friendship and mercy. However, Jesus needed no one to tell him what is in the hearts of men, and he made clear time and time again that men must come to him if they want to have hearts capable of living the Kingdom of God.

So it's all about total reliance on Jesus for he was more of a “Come to me” kind of guy than the “You can do it alone" kind.

***

【Build your Faith in Christ Jesus on #dailyscripturereadingsgroup 📚: +256 751 540 524 .. Whatsapp】

[havnblog]

My Tech Setup

I’ll make separate posts for my software and bass guitar setups, but here’s my current tech hardware setup.

The overview. Details incoming!

MacBook Pro

My Mac is the center of it all — and I’m living the laptop-desktop lyfe.

Now, there are many things I like about living in Norway. And one of them, is that we’ve mandated by law that things like computers needs to have a 5-year warranty(ish). And this also applies to second-hand owners! So buying used Apple gear, is great here — and that’s how I bought my MacBook Pro when it was 10 months old.

It’s a 14-inch M1 Pro base model, with 512 GB of storage and 16 GB of RAM.

I do have to be mindful of the storage, and occasionally, I push the RAM. But it still works tremendously. I’ve never been this happy with a computer before.

Did you notice the Macbook in the previous image?

Apple Studio Display

Yes, it’s too expensive — but no, it’s not the same as just having a 4k screen. **And look at everything that happens when I connect one Thunderbolt cable to my Mac! **👇🏻

Power to the Mac

Power to the Xiaomi Mi Monitor Light 🖇️ (Website)

Laneware Macro-1

Laneware LW-67 keyboard

Both with Less but better keycaps and

Boba U4 switches (U4Ts in the large buttons).

Lightning cable for the Apple Magic Trackpad

Universal Audio Volt 2 🖇️ (Website)

PreSonus Eris E3.5 🖇️ (Website)

Grado SR125 (I don’t have X, though) 🖇️ (Website)

Røde NT-USB Mini 🖇️ (Website)

I just love that I can unplug one cable, and just take my laptop home with me.

When I had this at my home office, I also connected ethernet to the spare port, a mouse in the USB-A hub, and some more stuff.

I've tilted the trackpad (and its wrist rest), to improve the ergonomics. I should probably get a split keyboard as well...

Makes it easier to connect both my headphones and speakers to the Mac, and I also use it for bass rehearsel and recording, and for testing pedal boards. Fastened with Dual Lock.

The mic and monitors are fine - nothing more, nothing less. But very practical!

These sound great! Especially with Crinacle's EQ preset set through . Tons of leakage, though.

Desk accessories

The wool desk mat was custom ordered (to me previous, tiny, desk) from this Etsy store. The, equally custom, wrist rests are from this Etsy store.

I almost never need a wallet - so Apple's MagSafe wallet is perfect. The Moleskin notebook is just as under used.

The iPad and headphones stand is IKEA’s (very cheap) Havrehoj. I like it a lot!

iPad

I have the iPad Pro 11-inch from 2018 (the first with the flat sides), with LTE and 256 GB of storage. I also bought this used — in 2019, and it still works well (even though I’m starting to notice that it’s 5.5 years old, with the occasional slowdown). I’m one of those who loves having LTE — as it’s so nice to never having to worry about internet connection. I also used it as my «whiteboard» when I was a teacher — and could just switch to LTE if the school’s network was struggling. 1

I also have the Apple Pencil and Magic Keyboard, which I like.

iPhone

Not in the first image, as it took it.

I’m a noted Mini iPhone enjoyer, and my iPhone 13 Mini (in Midnight) has worked perfectly since the day I got it. It fixed all the issues of the 12 Mini, and is a top-tier iPhone IMO.

Here are some things I’ll say ’til the day I die (and will fight everyone who disagrees with 💪🏻):

The ordinary (potential) Mini buyer is on a long update cycle, and has also bought SE phones. So when the SE got updated half a year before the 12 Mini’s release, many of those had recently bought a phone — and this hurt the sales.

The 15 Plus phone also «flopped», but doesn’t get nearly the same amount of flak!

The lineup with the 13 Mini, 13, 13 Pro and 13 Pro Max was the perfect lineup. Apple should be able to include a mini phone in their trillion dollar pipeline anyway. I don’t have particularly small hands (I just like to be able to use my phone one-handed), but many people do and should be well-served as well.

Here’s to hoping the next SE is a Mini. 🤞🏻 (But I doubt it. And, my next phone is probably a Pro for the cameras anyway…)

I also have the first gen AirPods Pro. I really like them, but I’ve had some troubles with them, and had to return them a couple of times. Luckily, there’s the whole government mandated warranty — so even though I bought them in 2019, I got brand-new ones (for free) as late as the fall of 2023. 🙌🏻

No, it’s far from as nice to just share from your phone. ↩︎

[audible--silence]

You appreciate more when you have less

Because i dont get enough hugs i go around headbutting cunts

Surfing is over sexd

11/10 dentists recommend it

“Well im off to fuck a fish”

“We dont need men in our lives”

“But we do need lighters though”

“I need to pee”

“Can you take mine as well”

“Fucking Danish people”

“Yeah lots of people love that”

“Blood runs deeper than water”

“But not deeper than sperm”

“When we first walked into a walmart my family flipped out because you can buy a kayak, a grill, a gun and a liter of milk in the same place”

“You guys are terrifble influences

“I hope u have fun”

“For an old soul you have the mental capacity of a four year old”

“I honestly believe everything i say. I gaslight because i cant remember what I say”

The churches have barbed wire on them here

“If he wanted to have contact he should’ve asked for my email”

“My mother taught me from an early age that if you have sex, food and a good shit you’ll be a happy lad”

“$256? Thats like, 23 bottles of tequila”

“It’s kind of nice having no wallet! I feel like i have nothing left to lose!” - on losing wallets

“Thinking?! Thats a day project!”

“I dont think you are angry i just think there is something wrong with your expression”

“I lived in a forrest but not under a rock”

“I do have morals but i am also a tourist”

“A problem rarely comes alone”

“How was your trip?”

“Like a pretty long day”

ive feel like ive finally started seeing the things im looking at

Icecreams are like cigarettes, you need one after every meal!

Her wholesomeness is unsuckable

“Elf fetish”

[cleaningserviceinmckinney]

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Why should you hire professional cleaning services for your home?

Cleaning is a demanding task, especially in light of contemporary lifestyles.

If you are someone who handles everything on your own, you definitely need us.

Even though you are a homemaker, you still have other responsibilities besides cleaning.

Although there are many products available on the market to help you with cleaning, nothing has yet been able to match the hassle-free professional cleaning services we offer.

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[tpanan]

My Saturday Daily Blessings

April 1, 2023

Be still quiet your heart and mind, the LORD is here, loving you talking to you...........                                  

Saturday of the Fifth Week of Lent (Roman Rite Calendar) Lectionary 256, Cycle A

First Reading: Ezekiel 37:21-28

Thus says the Lord GOD: I will take the children of Israel from among the nations to which they have come, and gather them from all sides to bring them back to their land. I will make them one nation upon the land, in the mountains of Israel, and there shall be one prince for them all. Never again shall they be two nations, and never again shall they be divided into two kingdoms. No longer shall they defile themselves with their idols, their abominations, and all their transgressions. I will deliver them from all their sins of apostasy, and cleanse them so that they may be my people and I may be their God. My servant David shall be prince over them, and there shall be one shepherd for them all; they shall live by my statutes and carefully observe my decrees. They shall live on the land that I gave to my servant Jacob, the land where their fathers lived; they shall live on it forever, they, and their children, and their children's children, with my servant David their prince forever. I will make with them a covenant of peace; it shall be an everlasting covenant with them, and I will multiply them, and put my sanctuary among them forever. My dwelling shall be with them; I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Thus the nations shall know that it is I, the LORD, who make Israel holy, when my sanctuary shall be set up among them forever.

Responsorial Psalm: Jeremiah 31:10,11-12abcd, 13

"The Lord will guard us, as a shepherd guards his flock."

Verse before the Gospel: Ezekiel 18:31

"Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed, says the LORD, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit."

**Gospel: John 11:45-56

Many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what Jesus had done began to believe in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, "What are we going to do? This man is performing many signs. If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation." But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, "You know nothing, nor do you consider that it is better for you that one man should die instead of the people, so that the whole nation may not perish."

He did not say this on his own, but since he was high priest for that year, he prophesied that Jesus was going to die for the nation, and not only for the nation, but also to gather into one the dispersed children of God. So from that day on they planned to kill him.

So Jesus no longer walked about in public among the Jews, but he left for the region near the desert, to a town called Ephraim, and there he remained with his disciples.

Now the Passover of the Jews was near, and many went up from the country to Jerusalem before Passover to purify themselves.

They looked for Jesus and said to one another as they were in the temple area, "What do you think? That he will not come to the feast?"

**Meditation:

Do you allow fear or opposition to hold you back from doing God's will? Jesus set his face like flint toward Jerusalem, knowing full well what awaited him there (Luke 9:51; Isaiah 50:7). It was Jewish belief that when the high priest asked for God's counsel for the nation, God spoke through him. What dramatic irony that Caiaphas prophesied that Jesus must die for the nation. The prophet Ezekiel announced that God would establish one people, one land, one prince, and one sanctuary forever. 

Luke adds to Caiphas's prophecy that Jesus would gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. Jesus came to lay down his life for the many, but not in a foolish reckless manner so as to throw it away before his work was done. He retired until the time had come when nothing would stop his coming to Jerusalem to fulfill his Father's mission. 

St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD) wrote: "The passion of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the hope of glory and a lesson in patience... He loved us so much that, sinless himself, he suffered for us sinners the punishment we deserved for our sins. How then can he fail to give us the reward we deserve for our righteousness, for he is the source of righteousness? How can he, whose promises are true, fail to reward the saints when he bore the punishment of sinners, though without sin himself? Brethren, let us then fearlessly acknowledge, and even openly proclaim, that Christ was crucified for us; let us confess it, not in fear but in joy, not in shame but in glory."

The way to glory and victory for us is through the cross of Jesus Christ. Are you ready to take up your cross and follow Christ in his way of victory?

Lord Jesus, may we your disciples be ever ready to lay down our lives in conformity to your will, to willingly suffer and die for you, that we may also share in your victory and glory.

Sources:

Lectionary for Mass for use in the Dioceses of the United States, second typical edition, copyright (c) 2001, 1998, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine; Psalm refrain (c) 1968, 1981, 1997, international committee on english in the liturgy, Inc All rights reserved. Neither this work nor any part of it may be reproduced, distributed, performed or displayed in any medium, including electronic or digital, without permission in writing from the copyright owner

**Meditations may be freely reprinted and translated into other languages for non-profit use only. Please cite copyright and original source. Copyright 2021 Daily Scripture Readings and Meditation, dailyscripture.net author Don Schwager

[drmaqazi]

Islamic Sharia Law (Shariah) Islamic Sharia Law to achieve goodness in all matter it is mandate to arrive at a practical solution that is most convincing to the victims. There are Islamic Sharia law and order defined for almost every religion in the society and Islam’s law steps ahead from those in delivering solution rather advising not to commit bad deeds. For instance, consider a person who rob for his survival, he was led into that situation because of poverty. Islam had derived a solution for this in the name of Zakat (one of five pillars in Islam). In Islamic sharia Law With this practice every wealthy person who has savings around 85 grams of Gold should offer 2.5% of total savings to poor people every lunar year as charity. This has been stated in holy Quran as “And what Allah restored to His Messenger from the people of the towns – it is for Allah and for the Messenger and for [his] near relatives and orphans and the [stranded] traveler – so that it will not be a perpetual distribution among the rich from among you. And whatever the Messenger has given you – take; and what he has forbidden you – refrain from. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.” Islamic Sharia Law – Path to Peace Likewise, sharia laws bestow solution and recommend how crimes can be minimized. However, those who disobey all these rules will be strictly punished without any delay. Islam promotes entire way of living life peacefully with harmony. In any community there must be rules and regulations should be set to sustain justice among community. Islamic sharia law is nothing but strictness and propositions which is to head every Muslims towards the path of tranquility. The purpose of shariah is to frame criteria through which social behaviors are categorized and watched under governance of the territory. According to Shariah every Muslim should undergo the pattern in worshipping Allah; that is to pray five times in a day, offer charity, Fast during month of Ramadan and Pilgrimage. Shariah’s ultimate aim is to assist the community for safety and social responsibilities. The outlook of Islamic Sharia Law towards world people is like viewing planet earth from satellite. It deliberately offers comprehensive way of leading a life that is for own good and society. Further verses in Quran that confirm Islamic sharia law is to spread mercy among all human. And We did not send you (O Muhammad) except as a mercy for all creation.[3] – Allah Says. Islam believes mercy is the only fuel to run this world till judgement day, hence it is certain that this primary goal is possible to attain only if the believers spread this primary quality with fellow humans on earth. Islamic Sharia Law Protection of Religion On top of the necessities that Shari`ah came to preserve and protect is religion. Religion is what differentiates human being from the other creations of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. It is part of the honor that Allah gives to humanity. Therefore, it has to be protected. First, Shari`ah protects religion by establishing the ruling that {There is no compulsion in religion.} (Al-Baqarah 2: 256) Shari`ah makes it forbidden to afflict people in their faith or to force them to embrace another religion even if this other religion is Islam. Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala said in the Qur’an that this action, known as fitnah, is worse and more severe than killing (Al-Baqarah 2:217). CONCLUSION: A general look at the rituals of Islam reveals that a major goal behind them is to strengthen people’s faith and the relationship between people and their Creator. Shari`ah, for example, legislates fighting (known as Jihad) to protect against many types of transgression, foremost of which is transgression over people’s religion.

[tetsvhoe]

I KNOW WHO YOU PRETEND I AM [2]

you know the only time they look into your eyes is to search for someone else.

kuroo, bokuto, atsumu, suna, and sakusa’s part

pt. 2 regret and other cliches akaashi, kenma, iwaizumi

character/s: timeskip!akaashi keiji x f!reader ; timeskip!kenma kozume x gn!reader, timeskip!iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader

genre/s: ANGST pls don’t say i didn’t warn y’all

warning/s: none i think except for gut wrenching angst

gwen's notes 🤍: ik i promised a part two for the first one where they regret it and i swear im already writing it, i just couldn’t help myself from writing for other boiz

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

akaashi keiji

akaashi is a living breathing piece of art work. with his stoic expression, silky black hair, piercing emerald eyes, honeyed voice, calm and collected behavior, it seems as though he stepped right out of a portrait and escaped a museum. what a strange coincidence that he also has a passion for making art of his own—he weaves words into stories, turns the black and white of ink and paper into a kaleidoscope of hues painted on a canvas of his memories and emotions. lately, akaashi’s been lost in a world of his own. on top of editorial duties, he’s locked up in his office most of the time, building his own palace from paragraphs and verses. you try not to miss him too much when he ventures deep into the crevices of his mind as this is one of the things you loved most about him, he is perceptive and profound. akaashi hides his works from you and you assume he’s just being doubtful of his own talents as usual. you sneak around to read the portraits he’s painted about his muse. he immortalizes his love through art. akaashi writes about the knots in her hair, you note that he describes a different color from yours; how she stirs up a storm in her coffee every morning, you prefer cold coffee though he says it’s warm; the stardust in her tears when she cries, but he’s got your eye color wrong. you flip through the pages until the very end until you realize it is you who’s got it wrong. you learn that you are a side character in his narrative and none of the poems and sonnets are about you. akaashi has been writing about heartbreak when all you’ve been giving him is love. the hurt from his past takes up all the pages. he has no room for your love so you settle between the empty spaces, you’re reduced to nothing more than scribbles and notes on margins in a book he’s written about someone that’s not you.

kenma kozume

kenma says he hates being tired. he only played volleyball for his best friend. he neither enjoyed nor hated playing the sport. similarly, that’s how he goes about his life. he half asses tasks that aren’t important and does things merely out of compliance. he agrees to going out on dates you carefully map out so you stop nagging him about it. he poses for pictures with a thin lipped smile and an annoyed expression he doesn’t bother to hide so you could both get going. he holds your hand just to stop you from wandering places when you go out, he can’t wait to go home. he opens his arms to welcome your embrace even if just to tune you out while he games or scrolls through his phone. he answers your texts and calls quickly because he can’t stand the constant vibrating. you never take it to heart even when you know kenma says he hates being tired but he’s a college student, a professional gamer, a youtuber, a stock trader, and a CEO. why? because kenma, to put it more accurately, doesn’t hate being tired. he hates putting in effort to things that don’t matter to him. kenma is a lot of things, but he is not yours. he does put in effort when he patiently teaches you how to play his favorite games. he rushes you to reach AR16 in genshin impact so he could visit your world, steal your resources, and bully the bosses. he frequently visits a profile which has been active 256 days ago. he shows you around a wonderful cottagecore house he spent days building in minecraft. there’s already a bed next to his and you note this was someone else’s home. he puts in effort because from behind a screen, he could pretend you’re someone else.

iwaizumi hajime

iwaizumi has a short temper and a sharp tongue but you know he means well most of the time. he calls his best friend “shittykawa” and tells him to look after himself all in one breath. he’s known to hit oikawa every chance he gets but then goes around and studies sports science in another country as if it had nothing to do with the fact that oikawa injured himself and he would never let something like that happen twice. you wholeheartedly believe that there is a reason for everything iwaizumi says and does, even though he’s a little rough around the edges and poor at his executions. so you don’t mind the opinions he has about you; i think this style looks good on you. that color suits your skin, you should wear it more often. i like this perfume you’re wearing better than the other one. i think you would look good with this hairstyle. there is a reason for everything iwaizumi says and does. and you only find out what it is when you finally meet his ex for the first time and realize how similar you’ve become to them. he’s turned you into someone he could love, someone he still loves. apparently, you as yourself wouldn’t suffice.

[screechingnebula]

Sanzu Haruchiyo

▶PART -3: Sanzu ‘s actions  (chapters 256-258)

A. Sanzu is not the main villain. He is not another or a better version of Kisaki or Izana.

B. What exactly is the “Train plan”? I don’t exactly know, okay? I’m just trying to figure out from what I’m seeing. Wakui puts a lot of details and none are for nothing.

Details under the cut so you can read further if you want.

A little recap till chapter 256: Sanzu was on the train, trying to get it moving (and failing), and when Takemichy confronted him, said that he is going to run it over everyone and kill them (both Toman and KMG members). No reason was given. He also says he neither cares about allies nor enemies and only Mikey matters to him.

A) Sanzu is not the main villain or a villain at all.

He made it clear earlier, that others don’t matter to him and now he makes it clear that he doesn’t care about this conflict/fight either. “I won’t let anyone get the king”. King is Mikey. Mikey is strong. He doesn’t need Sanzu to do this. Also, how does running a train over everyone and killing them stop anyone from “getting the King”? What does “getting the King” even mean? Physically defeating Mikey? Not possible. Toman making Mikey snap out of this “dark impulses” phase he is in right now? Hmmm makes sense if you consider Sanzu a villain who is manipulating Mikey. But first…

Think about why is he with Mikey? I’ve only seen 2 arguments up till now and both are being proved wrong by Sanzu’ s actual actions as well as words in the recent chapters.

1) He is another Kisaki and wants Mikey to become a crime lord.

2) He is taking revenge on Mikey by hurting and isolating him.

First of all, Sanzu is loyal to Mikey. There shouldn’t be any doubt about it at this point. If he wanted to hurt Mikey, he could have done that at any point in the past. If you say he wants Mikey to become a crime lord and Bonten is a proof for that, read the next point-

To make Mikey a crime lord, what are the requirements- Mikey (alive) and a gang (alive). What is he doing? Killing both the requirements. Even if we assume that Mikey knew about the “train plan” and was not going to get hurt somehow, the gang still dies. How is Mikey supposed to become a crime lord if there’s no gang?

If it’s the 2nd option and the gang dying is just collateral damage and he only wants to kill Toman people so that Mikey is completely alone and broken, why not kill them earlier? If this is the case, then he must have had a hand in Baji and Emma’s death as well so why leave others. He has a katana and a shady moral code. They were all out of gang lives. He could have gone and killed them before any of them even had a chance to say a word to Mikey. Sanzu saw Takemichy trying to stop Mikey during the 3D fight. Why take the risk of letting him (or anyone else) come close to Mikey even for a minute? What if Pah managed to stir up some emotions in Mikey during his fight? Or Takemichy dose something? I know he is attacking Takemichy now but only when Takemichy came to him himself, there was no guarantee Takemichy wouldn’t have won Mikey over while he was busy playing “Train Master”.

What will he even do once everyone is dead? Mikey is sad and broken and there’s no gang. What then? Both Kisaki and Izana had plans when they tried to isolate Mikey - they wanted to form a crime syndicate with him as the leader but Sanzu can’t have the same plan coz he is killing the gang as well. So neither he is hurting Mikey, nor trying to make him a crime lord. Then what is he doing? And why?

He wasn't present in other future timelines right? Either he was and we simply didn't see him, which is weird at least for Manila future coz he was introduced just after that so Wakui could have just made him stand somewhere in the future but didn't. Or he is dead in all the futures or he just drifted away from Mikey.

In past timelines, he could have just joined his siblings coz senju was still there along with waka and Benkie and Takeomi still comes back in 2006. In this timeline, he stepped in only because Mikey was completely alone in every sense (in other futures Toman was there. Maybe only in physical sense but they were still there with him) and hence, "I'm your only ally, Mikey". So if he never chooses Mikey, brahman never forms and 3D fight doesn't happen. This is why no brahman member is present with future Mikey before Bonten just like no Tenjiku member was present in the future before Manila bcoz Tenjiku incident doesn't happen if Kisaki doesn't gets kicked out.

B) What exactly is the “Train plan”? Why Sanzu was doing what he was doing and what exactly was he doing?

“You can’t live in carnage” “You have no chance to win against Mikey”

Sanzu says Takemichy can’t live in carnage and bloodshed. Correct. Takemichy can’t. No one in Toman can. He also says Takemichy can’t defeat Mikey because he can’t live in the carnage. Okay. What is he doing? I mean Sanzu? Trying to kill everyone. Cause a carnage. Why? He says Takemichi can’t defeat Mikey because he can’t live in carnage but is trying to cause a carnage himself. Can he live in a carnage? If he is causing it then he probably can right? Does this mean he can defeat Mikey since he can live in the carnage? Get it?

Sanzu is trying to defeat “Mikey” (probably the Mikey under dark impulses, the current Mikey) by doing whatever he is doing. Sanzu probably knows about “Mikey” and Manjiro. Manjiro is his childhood friend. Haruchiyo’ s friend. He knows Manjiro and he knows “Mikey” and when "Mikey" showed up for the first time. He probably knows the reason as well. Think about it what would be more interesting than Mikey's "most loyal dog" turning out to be the one working against him, the one going on about loyalty turning out to be the actual “traitor”.

The next question is how does this work? See trains and train tracks are important to TR. There is a reason they are fighting on the train tracks. There has to be a reason Sanzu is doing this with a train. This is not an impulsive decision, he planned this out. It might have been his decision to fight here on the tracks as well.

So how did it all start? A train accident? Takemichi got hit by a train, died and time leaped to the past. That particular time leap is the only exception where there was no (human) trigger and handshake. 

Could it be that train accidents are a way to time leap? Could it be that Sanzu is trying to trigger it? Trying to send everyone to the past or just himself or Mikey, to the time when things weren't so bad or Mikey still had hope. Maybe to the year 2000 when "Mikey" showed up for first time. Maybe all he knows is that a train accident will lead to a time leap. Or he knows and this is the way to do something, to fix something. (If someone wants to hear another dumb theory about this, involving Kisaki, let me know lol)

As I said earlier I don’t exactly know and for now there’s no way to say what he is doing but I’m sure it involves time leaping and is not simple mass murder for no reason.

Also there are 3 three train tracks. The train was on the middle and Sanzu’ s plan was to derail it to the third track. Meaning of Sanzu’ s name is “Three/ third way”.

Or maybe Hanma is a reaper and is using Sanzu to get his work done (of collecting the survivors of death). Can’t help coming back to Hanma at the end lol.

▶PART-1: Sanzu is protecting Mikey

▶PART 2 : Sanzu & Haruchiyo and Senju

▶PART- 4: Sanzu & Takemichy

[shut-up-rabert]

I posted 263 times in 2022

That's 263 more posts than 2021!

139 posts created (53%)

124 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pulihora

@suvarnarekha

@navaratna

@ramayantika

@shanti-ashant-hai

I tagged 256 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#desiblr - 173 posts

#hindublr - 21 posts

#hinduphobia - 10 posts

#hinduism - 8 posts

#kashmir - 7 posts

#jammu and kashmir - 6 posts

#kashmiri hindus - 5 posts

#kashmir genocide - 5 posts

#kanhaiya lal - 5 posts

#pakistan - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#won’t even be surprised if kashmir genocide is represented as “a dark time when young kashmiri girls couldn’t go to school”

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Movie concept: students from pan India living together in a hostel but instead we get less represented states like 7 sisters(+sikkim), Odisha, Karnataka, MP, Chhattisgarh, Jharkhand, Goa in lead along with correct representation of states like Haryana, Punjab, Tamil Nadu, Kerela, Andhra, Bihar, J&K&Ladakh in the background

46 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#4

Just read a comic where UK and Canada were referred to as North Punjab and West Punjab and I haven’t been okay since

49 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#3

Why isn’t mass media more neutral?

Disclaimer: I’m not taking any sides here, nor am I provoking any of you to say it, but this has been on my mind quite a bit and I feel like saying it now: Honestly saying, I’ve always felt like the media favours Palestine over Israel way to much even tho media is supposed to be neutral.

Essays in exams, front pages of newspaper, stars on social media always talk about Palestine but seem to be painting a rather black and white “Palestine good Israel bad” picture but never seem to be willing to dwell deeper into the topic, and when they they go somewhat below the surface it’s always from Palestine’s perispective only, nothing explaining Israel’s side of story as passionately even if at all. Even in India vs Pakistan wars, you’ll find motives and aggressions from both sides easily enough if you looked.

“Stars” like Bela Hadid raise slogans demanding Israel’s dissolve under the ruse of Palestine’s independence and no one bats an eye. The founder of Human rights watch left the organisation saying that it was being biased towards Palestine and has forgotten its original purpose. A lot of funding of these pro palestine news channels comes from Pro Islamic nations organisations, most of the said countries being Palestine supporters.

Palestine is suffering, yes, but it’s not just Israel that’s making it suffer. Hamas has a major role to play too. It kills its own civilians more than Israel does. Palestine has seen some serious bloodshed since Hamas came into power but no one seems to focus on that. There’s little to no discussion about how Palestine is bleeding internally due to hamas, but only the stuff that can be used against Israel.

You’ll hear about how Israel “attacked” Gaza and most of the times it turns out to be some retaliation. We always hear about civilian deaths whose names are never revealed but no one ever wonders what civilians were doing around militant bases. We talk about how palestinians are being thrown out of Israel to show them as big aggressors and it turns out that the land was originally Israel’s territory to begin with.

I’m not being pro-Israel here, And I very well admit that it can have its fair share of violations, such as killing of the one Al-Jazeera reporter , accident or not (look, I fucking hate that platform but that doesn’t mean I condone killing of someone who didn’t do anything) but this is something that has always made me curious. It can’t be as simple as “Israel evil”, can it?

53 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#2

Hassi to ye sochkar aati h ki mera hone waala abhi kisi aur ke saath jeeney-marne ki kasme kha rha hoga

62 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What you see:

What Desi kids see:

156 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[roadmotel]

Hi!

This is a super long ask and I hope it's interesting instead of annoying.

I have just finished reading the book "The Carnivorous Lamb" by Augustin Gomez-Arcos, and one of the main plot points is the love between the protagonist and his brother. Needless to say, many passages reminded me of the brothers. And then I thought I'd send them; even if they're not material for your blog, I thought you might enjoy taking a look, since the book has a very beautiful and evocative style... If it's not your thing, I apologize in advance! All in all, I love your blog and I hope you're having a nice week <3

Here it goes:

Father coming in at neutral moments to plant a kiss on my forehead, then hurrying out (did he love me, I wonder?), my brother, rooted to the spot, devouring me with his eyes. The house gone mad, blind anarchy stealthily taking it over,

Page 28

This ritual of waiting, which I have lived minute by minute since five o’clock in the afternoon last Friday, strikes me as completely useless. It brings me nothing new. Written in my cells when I was a child, it has ruled my behavior ever since. And my behavior has never been more than an appendage of yours, somewhat like a dog’s tail in relation to the dog. What can I do, though? When someone else’s life is the only space you have to live in, you can’t choose but to wait. Whether you come as a lover or an executioner, I am ready to receive you. More ready than ever. With all the obligations that waiting for you imposes on me. But don’t come as a brother, to profane me in the family blasphemy; if you do, my waiting for you will assert its rights. So open the door. Come in.

Page 55

I no longer had any trouble understanding the softness of my brother’s look, and the ever stronger, fiercer desire I felt to melt into him. With me, he acted like a creator. He sensed—no, he was sure—that he was shaping me day by day into the image of something special that he loved unconsciously. And passionately.

Page 70

I felt I should minimize the whole thing, but was petrified by a hardness on his face I had never seen before. A dangerous light glinted in his eyes, and an animal’s clenched teeth showed between his tight lips. The black-and-blue mark someone else’s hand had put on my behind had enraged him—even though I didn’t always emerge unscathed from our own wrestling matches. A savage heat started burning in my flesh, and I suddenly felt proud of having caused the bruise, which had the magnificent power of showing me the strength of my brother’s passion. My skin became translucent, the better to show Antonio my pre-adolescent frailty. He couldn’t take his eyes off my bruised flesh. “The bastard! The bastard!”

Page 90

“I won’t even let my parents raise a hand to him. Do you think I’m going to let you?” “I am his teacher, not his.…” “…brother,” finished Antonio, in a voice as sharp as a whip-crack. “I’m his brother. Me.” They watched each other in silence. No need to explain further.

Page 92

Within me, my brother’s presence stirred a craving for apocalypse. The Latin words falling softly from his lips tickled the most secret parts of my body, as if he were speaking directly to me and not to God.

Page 167

I could detail the disturbing contents of your dreams, the things you yourself don’t know, one anxiety after another. I could tell you if I knew the right words … but who could prompt me, who could give me those mysterious words? I know you so well, I can’t describe you. There is a you of you I can certainly describe. But I can’t tell you a thing about the other you of you, my you.

Page 235

You cross the hallway. You try to open my bedroom door, but it is closed. And locked. You order me to open it, as if I still belonged to you. You beg me to open it, as if you still belonged to me. But I don’t open it, and I don’t stop shouting.

Page 255

You lick our tears from my eyes before they stain my face, like someone trying to get drunk. You feed on us. And you say: “Easy, easy. I’m here.” But I know you don’t want me to stop, because you really do need to feed on me.

Page 256

And this is a classic passage, you might have seen it around before:

“I love you because you’re mine. I love you because I possess you. I love you because you need love. I love you because you’re disorder, and I don’t like order. I love you because when you look at me I feel like a hero, and always have. I especially love you because I’ve finally understood that I can’t talk about my love to anyone else but you, and that’s what real love is. Two beings who make up one solitude, one silence. And I love you because touching you makes me feel I’m more of a man than anyone.” You look at me as if you were in me. And you are in me. And outside me. Everywhere.

Page 262

oh please don't apologize! i’ve actually read this book, i think i’ve even posted a few quotes from it on here. it's incredibly well-written, unsettling, and confronting. funnily enough, i actually found out about this book because years ago i watched the film from beginning to end (also about an intense sexual relationship between two brothers) and there was a quote from it that i really liked:

“i love you because you’re mine. i love you because you need love. i love you because when you look at me i feel like a hero. it was always like that. i love you because when i touch you i feel more a man than any other man.”

so i googled it and the carnivorous lamb popped up and i read the premise and was like wait was the movie based on this book? but there was no acknowledgment of the book in the movie’s credits and i couldn’t find anything about it being an inspiration for the movie on wikipedia so i was like holy shit. then i read the carnivorous lamb (and loved it like it’s really incredible) and realized that from beginning to end completely ripped off the book. even the opening lines in from beginning to end are super reminiscent of a specific passage from the carnivorous lamb. 

the movie opens with:

“i was born with my eyes wide shut. sure, everybody is born with their eyes closed. but mine were closed so tight, they formed wrinkles. i remained with my eyes closed for more than two weeks. my mother, contrary to expectations, didn’t worry [...] while he [brother] stared at me through the thick, soundproof nursery glass window, i without any reason opened my eyes, and looked straight into his.”

and in the book, ignacio says:

“from the moment i opened my eyes, an incredible sixteen days after i was born, you [brother] were always sure of everything where i was concerned. it was all laid out in advance for you, even the unexpected. do you remember? mother used to say i was born with the will to stay blind forever.”

god, apologies for my rant but that literally always comes to mind whenever i think about the carnivorous lamb like how did they get away with just straight up plagiarizing agustín gómez-arcos in that movie lmao? anyway! thanks for sharing your favorite quotes i actually have a couple of these highlighted in my book!

[books-letstalkaboutem]

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue Quotes that I Loved

This is just a list of quotes or excerpts that I highlighted while reading the book- literally all of them and there are a lot. I’m going to go ahead and say spoilers below just because there are so many quotes and while I don’t think the quotes actually spoil anything, I don’t want to accidentally spoil something for someone.

Some of the quotes might seem a little weird out of context but these are quotes that hit close to home, made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!", quotes that made me laugh, and then basically all of the other quotes that I loved while reading.

I know that I didn't completely fall in love with this book like so many other people did, but it was still so beautifully written and there were so many amazing quotes in this book.

And just a heads up, I read this on my kindle, just in case the page numbers I list don’t match with your copy of the book.

Spoilers Below:

Quotes that Hit Close to Home

“Three and twenty, a third of a life already buried.” Page 39

“The day passes like a sentence. The sun falls like a scythe.” Page 41

“[...] and when she dies it will be as though she never lived.” Page 42

“I am so tired of not having choices, so scared of the years rushing past beneath my feet. I do not want to die as I’ve lived, which is no life at all. I—” Page 46

“[...] she swears sometimes her memory runs forward as well as back, unspooling to show the roads she’ll never get to travel. But that way lies madness, and she has learned not to follow.” Page 61

“His parents meant well, of course, but they always told him things like Cheer up, or It will get better, or worse, It’s not that bad, which is easy to say when you’ve never had a day of rain.” Page 97

“But then a night would go long, and a day would start late, and now he feels like there’s no time at all. Like he is always late for something.” Page 119

““I see someone who cares,” she says slowly. “Perhaps too much. Who feels too much. I see someone lost, and hungry. The kind of person who feels like they’re wasting away in a world full of food, because they can’t decide what they want.”” Page 140

““Life is so brief, and every night in Rennes I’d go to bed, and lie awake, and think, there is another day behind me, and who knows how few ahead.”” Page 167

““I mean feeling like it’s surging by so fast, and you try to reach out and grab it, you try to hold on, but it just keeps rushing away. And every second, there’s a little less time, and a little less air, and sometimes when I’m sitting still, I start to think about it, and when I think about it, I can’t breathe. I have to get up. I have to move.”” Page 177

““Small places make for small lives. And some people are fine with that. They like knowing where to put their feet. But if you only walk in other people’s steps, you cannot make your own way. You cannot leave a mark.”” Page 179

“It was such a lovely jar she had kept them in. But the glass is cracking now. The water leaking through.” Page 215

“Moments of joy register as brief, but ecstatic. Moments of pain stretch long and unbearably loud.” Page 225

“[...] you’ve never felt called to any one thing. There is no violent push in one direction, but a softer nudge a hundred different ways, and now all of them feel out of reach. Page 226

“[...] in wanting to live, to learn, to find yourself, you’ve gotten lost.” Page 226

“He lets it ring, holds his breath until it stops. He tells himself that if they call again, he’ll answer. If they call again, he’ll tell them he is not okay. But the phone doesn’t ring a second time.” Page 229

“He misses the structure, misses the path, misses the purpose. And maybe it wasn’t a perfect fit, but nothing is.” Page 257

“That he’d blinked and somehow years had gone by, and everyone else had carved their trenches, paved their paths, and he was still standing in a field, uncertain where to dig.” Page 283

“And those first two years, he was happy. He had Bea, and Robbie, and all he had to do was learn. Build a foundation. It was the house, the one that he was supposed to build on top of that smooth surface, that was the problem. It was just so … permanent.” 283

“Choosing a class became choosing a discipline, and choosing a discipline became choosing a career, and choosing a career became choosing a life, and how was anyone supposed to do that, when you only had one?” Page 283

““The vexing thing about time,” he says, “is that it’s never enough. Perhaps a decade too short, perhaps a moment. But a life always ends too soon.”” Page 333

“He is all restless energy, and urgent need, and there isn’t enough time, and he knows of course that there will never be. That time always ends a second before you’re ready. That life is the minutes you want minus one.” Page 421

“The world is wide, and he’s seen so little of it with his own eyes. He wants to travel, to take photos, listen to other people’s stories, maybe make some of his own. After all, life seems very long sometimes, but he knows it will go so fast, and he doesn’t want to miss a moment.” Page 438

Quotes that Made Me Laugh

“Henry loves his sister, he does. But Muriel’s always been like strong perfume. Better in small doses. And at a distance.” Page 120

““Sorry, Book,” she mutters, lifting the cat gingerly onto the back of the old chair, where he does his best impression of an inconvenienced bread loaf.” Page 248

““It’s Halloween!” defends Robbie. “It’s the twenty-third,” says Henry, but Robbie treats holidays the way he treats birthdays, stretching them from days into weeks, and sometimes into seasons.” Page 274

Quotes that made me say “Hell, yeah, Addie!!!”

“If she must grow roots, she would rather be left to flourish wild instead of pruned, would rather stand alone, allowed to grow beneath the open sky. Better that than firewood, cut down just to burn in someone else’s hearth.” Page 31

“[...]from this moment forward, her life will be her own.” Page 48

“There is a defiance in being a dreamer.” Page 117

““It has only been two years,” she says. “Think of all the time I have, and all the things I’ll see.”” Page 132

“It will take time, but time is the one thing Addie has plenty of. So she opens her eyes, and starts again.” Page 192

“But then Addie straightens, lifts her chin, smiles with an almost defiant kind of joy. “But isn’t it wonderful,” she says, “to be an idea?”” Page 261

Quotes that I Love

“[...] never pray to the gods that answer after dark.” Page 7

“What is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?” Page 15

“The things that last, even when memories don’t.” Page 16

“As if you couldn’t like one place and want to see another.” Page 23

“Books, she has found, are a way to live a thousand lives—or to find strength in a very long one.” Page 35

“The kind of place where time slips and blurs, where a month, a year, a life can go missing.” Page 39

“[...] attraction can look an awful lot like recognition in the wrong light.” Page 56

“The rise isn’t worth the fall.” Page 56

“Being trapped, buried alive, these are the things that scare you when you cannot die.” Page 57

“Funny, how some people take an age to warm, and others simply walk into every room as if it’s home.” Page 58

“Déjà vu. Déjà su. Déjà vécu. Already seen. Already known. Already lived.” Page 66

“[...]a lifetime of knowing brushed away like a tear.” Page 73

“[...] and it is sad, of course, to forget. But it is a lonely thing, to be forgotten. To remember when no one else does.” Page 77

“[...] ideas are so much wilder than memories, that they long and look for ways of taking root.” Page 77

““These days, everyone’s looking down,” muses Sam. “It’s nice to see someone looking up.”” Page 101

“Being forgotten, she thinks, is a bit like going mad. You begin to wonder what is real, if you are real. After all, how can a thing be real if it cannot be remembered?” Page 103

“If a person cannot leave a mark, do they exist?” Page 103

“Dreamer is too soft a word. It conjures thoughts of silken sleep, of lazy days in fields of tall grass, of charcoal smudges on soft parchment.” Page 11

“She considers the cut of their clothes, the absence of bone stays or bustled skirts, and thinks, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, how much simpler it would be to be a man, how easily they move through the world, and at such little cost.” Page 129

““I remember you.”” Page 135

“The darkness claimed he’d given her freedom, but really, there is no such thing for a woman, not in a world where they are bound up inside their clothes, and sealed inside their homes, a world where only men are given leave to roam.” Page 163

“She watches these men and wonders anew at how open the world is to them, how easy the thresholds.” Page 165

““I think there are many ways to matter.”” Page 179

“But ideas are so much wilder than memories, so much faster to take root.”” Page 210

“He is full of roots, while she has only branches.” Page 212

“Easy to stay on the path when the road is straight and the steps are numbered.” Page 229

“Outside the window, the day just carries on as if nothing’s changed, but it feels like everything has, because Addie LaRue is immortal, and Henry Strauss is damned.” Page 235

“[...]I didn’t want to live forever. I just wanted to live.”” Page 236

““There’s this family photo,” he says, “not the one in the hall, this other one, from back when I was six or seven. That day was awful. Muriel put gum in David’s book and I had a cold, and my parents were fighting right up until the flash went off. And in the photo, we all look so … happy. I remember seeing that picture and realizing that photographs weren’t real. There’s no context, just the illusion that you’re showing a snapshot of a life, but life isn’t snapshots, it’s fluid. So photos are like fictions. I loved that about them. Everyone thinks photography is truth, but it’s just a very convincing lie.”” Page 239

“God, it feels good to be wanted.” Page 256

“[...] And ideas are wilder than memories. They’re like weeds, always finding their way up.”” Page 261

“Homesick—Henry knows that one is supposed to mean sick for home, not from it, but it still feels right.” Page 262

“Dressing up, he thinks, is just like watching cartoons, something you enjoyed as a kid, before it passes through the no man’s land of teen angst, the ironic age of early twenties. And then somehow, miraculously, it crosses back into the realm of the genuine, the nostalgic. A place reserved for wonder.” Page 274

“Bea always says returning to campus is like coming home. But it doesn’t feel that way to Henry. Then again, he never felt at home at home, only a vague sense of dread, the eggshell-laden walk of someone constantly in danger of disappointing.” 282

“He doesn’t know what he believes, hasn’t for a long time, but it’s hard to entirely discount the presence of a higher power when he recently sold his soul to a lower one.” Page 284

““You can’t make people love you, Hen. If it’s not a choice, it isn’t real.”” Page 290

“He has asked the wrong god for the wrong thing, and now he is enough because he is nothing. He is perfect, because he isn’t there.” Page 290

“A life reduced to a block of stone, a patch of grass.” Page 299

“The present folding on top of the past instead of erasing it, replacing it.” Page 306

“She knows the paint will fade, rinsed off by a puddle, or simply wiped away by time, but that’s how memories are supposed to work. There—and then, little by little, gone.” Page 307

“Without the bells, the organ, the bodies crowding in for services, the church feels abandoned. Less a house of worship and more a tomb.” Page 311

“God is so large, why build walls to hold Him in?” Page 311

“Once you know about a thing, you start to see it everywhere. Someone says the words purple elephant, and all of a sudden, you catch sight of them in shop windows and on T-shirts, stuffed animals and billboards, and you wonder how you never noticed.” Page 314

“There is a freedom, after all, in being forgotten.” 325

“Memories are stiff, but thoughts are freer things. They throw out roots, they spread and tangle, and come untethered from their source. They are clever, and stubborn, and perhaps—perhaps—they are in reach.” Page 327

“They’ve been lucky, so lucky, but the trouble with luck is that it always ends.” 329

““You said it yourself, Luc. Ideas are wilder than memories. And I can be wild. I can be stubborn as the weeds, and you will not root me out. And I think you are glad of it. I think that’s why you’ve come, because you are lonely, too.”” Page 332

“She closes her eyes, reminds herself there are many ways to leave a mark, reminds herself that pictures lie.” Page 337

“She may not feel the years weakening her bones, her body going brittle with age, but the weariness is a physical thing, like rot, inside her soul. There are days when she mourns the prospect of another year, another decade, another century. There are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying. But then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world. And she does not want to miss it— any of it.” Page 342

“Luc’s smile darkens. “Because time is cruel to all, and crueler still to artists. Because vision weakens, and voices wither, and talent fades.” He leans close, twists a lock of her hair around one finger. “Because happiness is brief, and history is lasting, and in the end,” he says, “everyone wants to be remembered.”” Page 351

“It is a sign, when even gods and devils dread a fight.” Page 367

“And this, he decides, is what a good-bye should be. Not a period, but an ellipsis, a statement trailing off, until someone is there to pick it up. It is a door left open. It is drifting off to sleep.” Page 419