#not to get too personal but last thing i had special interest fixated on really hard before i remember things in my life officially going

[laikabu]

re: my thoughts on laios’s sexuality (long post ahead lol)

let me start this post with this. first, this contains a lot of references to the new adventurer’s bible world guide book released last february. i can read japanese, but i’m sure they’re translated somewhere. general spoiler warning in case. also… i am ESL, so sorry for any grammar errors

second, if you’re on the team that insists laios doesn’t care about humans enough to form relationships, either read the manga again or at the very least read this thread.

last, please don’t chime in with your acearo headcanons on this post. there’s already a majority of posts here that insist laios is acearo and that anything else is impossible. i don’t like it the same way i don’t like when someone declares they hc marcille as bisexual to a poster who reads her as lesbian. i already have enough people here who declare he’s ace on my own art. at least people on twitter of all places don’t do this sort of thing to me. nothing in this manga is canon, you can headcanon anything i won’t get mad if you hc him as bi or something. just. don’t be weird on my post.

okay. trust me, i love women, and i love the idea of making my favs women lovers but the idea of laios being gay really appeals to me because of his background. this isn’t fueled by yaoi since i don’t even ship the only m/m relationship i bring up here, i just think it adds a nice layer to his disconnect with his own humanity

i do think laios has a very abstract relationship with his sexuality for a multitude of reasons. he grew up in a very conservative backwater village. he has a hard time recognizing his own feelings towards others just as much as vice versa. i don’t really care for the “laios is a monsterfucker” agenda people are pushing but i do think he’d engage in sexual thoughts in his own weird way, i won’t deny his deviantart fetish shit

as an autistic person myself, i relate to how he’d prioritize his special interest over social interactions. after all, he was fixated on monster food so he’s distracted from dark thoughts. he’s not an actual glutton

he’s shy around women, but i don’t think it’s out of attraction. i just think it’s because he’s awkward and doesn’t want to be seen as a threat. there’s a couple of times when, out of armor, he deliberately tries to make himself look smaller and nonthreatening.

he didn’t show any interest towards ashivia (the hubby hunter girl marcille replaced) and just humored her because she wouldn’t leave him alone. his other party members thought he was giving her special treatment so he had to tell her he “doesnt want to give her special treatment anymore”(even though he never did), so she left

ashivia did her best to butter herself up to laios and he didn’t care, but laios thought shuro was his bestest friend in the whole world because he was too much of a pushover to reject him. ironically… what ashivia did to him parallels what he was doing to shuro

also… yeah sorry i keep bringing up that one comic of laios saying if he were falin he’d marry shuro and then begging him to take him back to his country, or that comic of laios wondering why he doesn’t like him(and then the first two questions he asks the magic mirror was what if he or shuro were women). i don’t even ship them! but it’s not a reach to assume that he likes men because of this, even if it’s kinda played like a joke(after all,a lot of people like chilshi even though their ‘shippy’ interaction was played as a joke)

of course, given the setting, i don’t think knows he’s gay, he wouldn’t have the vocabulary to label himself. i do want to dance around with the idea of him forcibly confronting his own sexuality after years of yaad pressuring him to produce heirs lol. laios might not be cishet but he’s a king so he rdgaf about that right now. i’m open to him having female consorts for political reasons, but i don’t think he’s into women, is all.

before anyone brings up his succubus… god forbid an author makes hetbait. a part of the plot twist was that not-marcille wasn’t the only succubus enticing laios, his other party members were copied too. she was the only one who approached him. also… succubi aren’t always inherently romantic. once it realized marcille didn’t work, it switched to appeal to his desire to be a monster.

[deathbxnny]

Have I watched/read JJBA kinda. Is it my new hyper fixation yes. Anyways Giorno Giovanna, Jotaro Kujo, & Jolyne Cujoh with a reader (platonic or romantic idc) that’s like Firefly and her stance is just Sam but it’s called Iron Maiden!

(＃＞＜)

JJBA characters with a Firefly-like! Fem! Reader | Jolyne Cujoh, Jotaro Kujo, Giorno Giovanna

As someone who can easily say that JJBA is their favorite anime, I absolutely love this idea, Anon!! I made this a romantic hc, so I hope you'll like it!<33

Content: Vague mentions of chronical illness, mentions of potential future death by illness, angst, hurt/comfort, sfw

Reader is fem/afab in this, but no pronouns are mentioned!

((Not proofread))

》JOLYNE CUJOH

Jolyne met you in jail as a cell mate, one she quickly found a lot in common with, especially regarding your rather special stand abilities. But your illness is what really drew her to you and made her determined to keep you safe after you became a couple. Her heart ached knowing you were stuck in a prison, when you should be out there experiencing life as much as you still could, but alas, you were here with her, and she tried to make things easier for you with her presence.

She was left stunned however, when you were attacked by some stand users and quickly found out that you perhaps didn't need the extensive help and care she had given you after all. Sam, your stand, was more than enough to destroy any enemy in sight, something she found absolutely awesome. Jolyne would absolutely cheer you on from the sidelines, completely forgetting that she had to fight too.

It makes her proud to see how strong you are despite your potential deadly fate and hopes to stay at your side until the end.

》JOTARO KUJO

You both were childhood friends turned lovers, and so he was very much aware of your condition from day one. He watched as your illness progressed to become worse and worse until you were left unable to walk properly anywhere. But what hurt the most deep down was that you always remind me so gentle and calm with him anyway, despite his rather aloof and indifferent personality. His mother often teased him playfully for being so soft with you and only you, but he'd just stubbornly deny it every time.

With that said, anyone that hurts you is practically dead before they know it. He doesn't play around when it comes to your health or well-being, and so it does come to some sort of relief that your stand is extremely powerful. It made protecting and keeping you safe a lot easier when you could just do it yourself, too. This doesn't mean he won't keep his eyes on you at all times anyway.

Jotaro is somewhat in denial about what's most likely going to be your early passing due to your sickness, despite his rational mind. He doesn't want to think or hear about it, as it hurts too much to lose you as well.

》GIORNO GIOVANNA

Giorno met you through Bucciarati, and whilst you weren't directly a part of the gang, you were still an important person in it due to your stands immense strength. You immideatly introduced him to it through a battle against an enemy stand user, which made him take interest in you initially. You were gentle and soft-spoken, so it was definitely a contrast he quickly became infatuated with over time. But what really got him about you was that you were able to do all these great things despite being gravely ill.

It served as a reminder that life was cruel, and yet Giorno wasn't phased by it. In fact, he hoped that once he was successful with the mission of overtaking the boss, he'd eventually be able to get you the medical care you needed. He was determined to find a way to stop the illness or at least make life better for you, so you became another goal for him to fight for.

You can always count on him for anything and everything, that's for sure. He loves you greatly and wants to show you that by staying by you even when things get worse. So if you inevitably die, then he'll be there until your last breath.

[andthisisdia]

🫧Hi🫧

Name: call me Dia💎

Age: I was born in 2002 and I'm too lazy to update my age every year💅

Nationality: Italian (English is not my first language so I might make some grammatical errors)

🏳��‍🌈: I'm a bisexual and demisexual/demiromantic girl (I use she/her pronouns)

MBTI: ENTJ (Don't stereotype me. I'm just really into doing things right and I like to have a plan for everything. I always try to find a solution to people's problems)

Something about me: I'm autistic and borderline 🪐 and I'm very extroverted, I like to socialize and meet new people. So if we have any interests in common, feel free to write to me🌌 (Read the continuation to find out more about me and what I post, it's important. Thank you)

(I made this edit using picsart stickers that represent my interests and something about me)

🎮Favorite video games:

•League of Legends (I play on the European server)

•Wildrift

•Valorant (I don't play it that much because I'm not very good)

•Overwatch

•Team Fortress 2 (my hyper fixation, I need to talk to other tf2 fans. I'm going crazy, I don't know who to talk to about it, I'm afraid of appearing boring to my friends who aren't fans😭😭😭)

•Life is strange (this game made me realize I'm not straight)

•Detroit Become Human

•Danganronpa (I discovered this thanks to tik tok during the pandemic. It was very trendy at the time)

•The last of us

•The Sims 3/4 (I never had the chance to play the previous ones)

🍿My favorite TV series are:

•Shameless

•Love, Death & Robots

•Bojack Horseman

•Arcane

•She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

•Ever After High

🎼Singers I like:

•Madison Beer

•Mitski

•Ariana Grande

•Ashnikko

•Kali Uchis

•Girl in Red

•Marina and the diamonds

•KDA ("Akali that girl, 'kali go grr 'Kali don't stop, 'kali don't skrt 'Kali got a job, 'kali go to work 뜨거워 언제나 don't get burnt" 🗣🗣🗣)

•Gorillaz

•Queen

•Molchat Doma

•Arctic Monkeys

•Mother Mother

•Jack Stauber

•Cavetown

•TV girl

•Bo Burnham

I actually listen to a lot of artists but I don't remember them all c:

🫧Things I like:

•Lost media

•Liminal space

•Dreamcore

•Nostalgiacore

•History of cinema (especially animated films)

•Psychology (and all other branches of this science. I also love anthropology and sociology)

•Travel and discover new places

•Everything that has to do with creativity (Drawing, writing stories and fanfiction, creating things like accessories for your clothes and such very cute things. I really admire people who can repaint dolls)

•Having fun (going out with my friends, watching films - if they're trashy films it's even better -, sending each other memes and tik tok videos and things like that)

🪷Hobby:

•Cosplay (Especially cosplaying my comfort characters)

•Drawing (I haven't drawn seriously since 2020. I'm waiting for inspiration)

•Collecting dolls (I love Monster High, Ever After High, Rainbow High and L.O.L O.M.G. I also collect Funko pops and figures from other brands. I also have many books and comics -which I have to finish reading because there are too many-)🧸

•Roleplay (Doing roleplay with me means that I have already organized the whole plot. But I also listen to the other person's ideas)

•Find out about the topics that interest me (Most of the time they have to do with culture. I'm a very curious person and I love to inform myself)

💿What I post on Tumblr:

•Things about my fandom

•Positivity (Especially mental health or pride posts about being a member of the LGBT community. Be yourself🌈Be unique)

•Aesthetics

•Vent

•My posts are tagged "Dia's post"

🦦Other random things:

•My favorite musicals are Heathers and Ride The Cyclone (the name of my blog is a mix between two of these songs)

•I'm terrible with numbers and sometimes I read the wrong words (I have a learning disability -be patient-)

•In my blog there are posts about Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss BUT IT'S NOT A SPECIAL INTEREST OF MINE. I recognize that they are two series with a lot of plot holes and nonsense. But it still reminds me of time spent with my friends. I actually like hearing people analyze and criticize it. I'm fond of the character of Vaggie and I like the ship between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb but as I wrote before: it's no longer a special interest of mine. I am neutral towards them

•I'm an atheist

•I am very interested in the meaning (and world) of dreams

‼️ Sometimes I also reposted something related to when I feel down. Unfortunately I have a lot of trauma but I'm trying to move forward and get better‼️

🔞I'm a girl from 2002 so I have young adult maturity‼️ For adults (because I know we are not all the same and not everyone likes some things) I would like to point out some things that I could reblog: I might reblog paintings or sculptures with naked people BUT also drawings with people semi-naked or shown in a sexy way. The artists I refer to are: Fumetti Brutti by Josephine Yole Signorelli and EvviArt. They are the only ones I follow but it is to make you understand what type of art I like. I could reblog posts where sexual topics are written: from the classic "use protection when having s3x" or raise awareness about some topics related to this theme. I want people to be informed about some aspects of this topic (I'm not talking about p0rnographic things ) such as the importance of using protection and above all how important consent is. I don't reblog kink-related stuff or explicit porn because it's not a topic of interest to me. And I don't even have kink because s3x isn't a topic that interests me. It doesn't shock me to hear about NSFW things (it disgusts me if disturbing topics are included in this topic). Many of my interests (TV series or video games and things like that) involve adult themes. I prefer to specify that I could publish things like this because I know that many people don't want to see these things. And in any case I want to talk to people my own age. If you like some wallpaper made by me, there are no problems because a wallpaper is a normal thing and everyone can use them. But if you don't like adult things then don't interact (especially if you're a minor) In summary: you can like icons or wallpapers or memes (these are innocent things and everyone likes them. Everyone uses icons and wallpapers) but interact with me if you are adults🔞

🧜‍♀️Comfort characters:

•Jinx (League of legends/Arcane. She is my main and for certain things I see myself in her)

•Seraphine (League of Legends. didn't like her at first but I love her gameplay. And I think she has the best skins -along with Jinx, of course-)

•Evelynn (League of Legends. She's a Goddess)

•Chloe Price (Life is strange. She made me understand that I like women too. I love this punk)

•Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls. She is one of the few ENTJs to be a positive character. I really like how her character has evolved)

•Reagan Ridley (Inside Job. We are very similar in certain things)

•Entrapta (She ra. I love this chaotic neutral autistic scientist princess. Again, I see myself in her)

•Kotori Minami (Love Live! When I was in middle school this was my favorite anime)

•Dia Kurosawa (Love Live! Sunshine. Love Live is an anime that accompanied me as I grew up. I'm very fond of it)

❕️I'm looking for young adult people like me (young adult means being over 18 and under 30). I have no problem with NSFW (I prefer artistic nudity) and I have no problem with swearing. I have a certain maturity so I want to interact with people like that.❕️

‼️ This is my safe space🗣 SO DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE: racist, homophobic, ableist, transphobic and against the LGBT community, do not interact if you are a pedophile and if you harm animals.Don't fetishize queer people. We are people, not nsfw categories. And don't romanticize the Mafia. Be kind and open-minded. Don't interact if you are against feminism (which I remind you, means gender equality), don't interact if you are people with ideas of hatred and discrimination. No ignorant people about mental health or what is happening in the world, because we are in 2024 and we need to have a minimum of culture. If you think abortion is murder, I would say you can also go elsewhere because I support women's rights and human rights in general. In general, don't interact if you are a person with bad ideas (that kind of bad ideas. Go away)‼️

🌟Talk to me if you are a normal person (and if you're nice and send funny memes. Or if you want to talk about some fandom in common or something. We can also play some video games together or talk about philosophical things like "what's the point of life?" or things like "do aliens exist?")🌟

[cyberr-v0id]

I should probably make a proper introduction post so here goes

Hi hey hello wassup sup howdy hola hooray

My name is Leo but I also go by *lists a ton of names because I am genderfluid as hell, can’t choose just one, have a complicated relationship with my irl name, and eventually toss aside every name I go by* here’s the link to my full name post: https://www.tumblr.com/cyberr-v0id/731097944976228352/ok-so-as-i-apparently-use-a-lot-of-names-here-are

My main blog is @cyberr-v0id but I have a ton of side blogs, because who’s gonna stop me, the side blog police? I run a ton of gimmick blogs. You might know them. You might not.

I use he/she/they/fae and occasionally it sets of pronouns, and I am a genderfluid, afab, asexual, lesbian oriented demiromantic. Deal with it or leave :)

I currently have a crush on one of my awesome friends because I only develop crushes on people I have a strong bond with and/or have know for a while . Aka: my friends. It can be low-key awkward but we roll

I am Romani but don’t travel because reasons and I am kinda detached from my culture, but heck if I won’t defend it till my last breath

Now onto what I am interested in ehhehehehe

I AM SO GOSHDARN TOTALLY BRAIN IN THE SAND EYES GOUGED OUT INSANELY OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS RN. ITS A PROBLEM. IT KEEPS COMING BACK. IS THIS A HYPER FIXATION??? IS THIS A SPECIAL INTEREST? I HAVENT BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH (oh wait I should probably put that down as information then come back to my interests)

Ok so, I have never been diagnosed with anything ✨brain wise✨ however pretty much every autistic person I have ever met has said that they think I might be as well, without me even bringing it up, including my AuDHD brother. My mother has said repeatedly throughout my lifetime comments such as ‘are you sure you’re not autistic’ and ‘that is very autistic or you maybe we should get you diagnosed’ but then she denies it if i bring it up

My dad thinks I am adhd, my mum thinks I would be add rather than adhd because I am, to quote, ‘not hyperactive like [brothers name] is’. He is a twelve year old boy. I am a fifteen year old girl. I also take apart all my pens in lessons if I don’t have something less destructible to fidget with. Take that how you will

I personally have done a lot of of research into the both, and feel that I could be either, but slightly more likely adhd

I have a weird issue with my feet where the bones are too close together in places, which means I have really clicky ankle joints, am much more likely to have my ankles roll, twist, or give way, and often my legs hurt pretty bad, and my feet as well, while walking or standing for a long time. But hey! They’re getting better finally :D

OK SO NOW MY INTERESTS

I AM LITERALLY SO OBSESSED WITH ODYSSEUS HE IS ALL I HACE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT FOR LIKE THREE WEEKS NOW, I HAVE BEEN HIGHLIGHTING HIS NAME EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN THE ILIAD, I HAVE LISTENED TO THE EPIC MUSICAL EVERY NIGHT FOR OVER A WEEK, AND THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR THAT MY OBSESSION HAS APPEARED. AND IT GETS WORSE BY THE DAY.

I HAVE LITERALLY SAT AND RESEARCHED HIM AT BREAKFAST, I HAVE RANTED ABOUT HIM YO EVERY MEMBER OF MY FRIEND GROUP AND MY CRUSH SO MANY TIMES, MY ENGLISH TEACHER HAS BEEN SUBJECTED TO TWO ODYSSEUS RANTS THIS WEEK AND I HAD TO RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM INFODUMPING ON ONE OF MY MUSICAL THEATRE TEACHERS.

THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM CREATING ODYSSEUS FAN ART IS MY ART SKILLS

Ahem

Onto other interests:

• mythology in general but the one I know the most about and am obsessed with the most is Greek mythology

• the owl house

• Percy Jackson, obviously

• amphibia

• the inheritance cycle

• the dragon prince

• miss peregrines home for peculiar children

•avatar the last air bender

•dragon age absolution

• how to train your dragon (books, films, series)

•the wizards of once

•dragons themself as a thing

•folklore and faeries

• nimona

•Dracula

•redwall

•and a heck ton more that I cannot think of. I’ll rant about it eventually if I love it that much

The main sports I do rn are archery, paddle boarding, and skateboarding, as well as dance through my musical theatre group. Also lightsaber fighting in my street

I do art and writing and reading and acting and lots more I do a lot and then I abandon my hobbies for a while, and jewelry making and sewing and

I’ll link some more posts here that may be useful to y’all:

And remember, this blog is ran by an Odysseus obsessed teen above all else

[splanana-bitz]

i am asking you about your special interests. rant about all of them to me if you wish. go off my friend :)

Holy shit, you are now my new favorite person-

A lot of my special interests right now mainly center around Will Wood, ROTTMNT, and human behavior as a whole.

With Will Wood's music, whether he intends it to be or not, is just so profound and well made and really makes me happy. The symbolism, the seemingly needless, lengthy words, and the themes he explores overall are just ground-breaking to me and I could analyze his stuff for days on end with a burning passion. And the way his music (both old and new) sounds?? LIKE WHAT??

I swear, no two songs of his sound the same, and I mean it in the best way possible. The pacing, the instrumental choice, really everything just feels uniquely respective to its own song and I am drooling over it.

Will Wood is easily one of the best musicians I have ever had the pleasure of discovering. When I found his stuff, I hadn't had a musical hyperfixation in actual years, but boy did listening to the normal album change that.

Like I said, the lyrics, the sounds of the music, and (what I believe is) the continued theme of normalcy while each song still tells its own theme/story?? It's just perfection to me, really-

As for ROTTMNT? Don't even get me started!

The animation is lively, colorful, and has a delightful, anime-ish style to it that just makes the whole show eye candy to me. The boxy(?) movement in certain scenes, the shading (especially in the movie), and the character designs?? Omg the character designs-

I love how Rise broke what I feel was the "copy-and-paste" style of design for the turtles, unlike the previous series (I'm not saying other TMNT shows were bad, but good lord the designs (looking at you, 2012) were...awful-). Each design feels respective to its own character and the diversity in appearance really helps the turtle's personalities, fighting style, and expression shine through.

And the turtles themselves? I simply just adore what the show did with their personalities and how they gave them more depth and really humanized them. Especially with Raph and Donnie. Especially Raph and Donnie.

Raph always came off as just "the angry one," and there was seemingly no reason for why and there was nothing else to him, when I tried getting into older series, and at times, it made me dislike him as a character. But in Rise? They made him into a gentle giant with different likes, dislikes, interests, strength, weaknesses, and gave him reason to be angry in certain scenarios, rather than feeding us the usual "pissed off all the time" Raph. In Rise, he just comes off as a reasonably tired, realistic older brother that cares about his family and just wants the best for everyone, even if there are times he comes off in the wrong way.

And I could go off about Donnie for days

But to keep it as short as I can; Donnie is to die for in Rise. He is more than just the "tech guy." He is shown to indulge in different interests and hobbies, he has vulnerable moments, he's sarcastically witty and deadpan, just everything I could want in a character like him.

And the way they handled autistic representation with Donnie?

*chef's kiss* 11/10 👌

He comes off a realistic, neurodivergent person that isn't weakened by his condition, and is instead just accepted as he is and plays a vital role to the brother's chemistry, unlike in most shows where the autistic character feels like an inconvenience, a man-child, an un-empathetic asshole, and/or too indulged in their hyperfixation to be useful, or that's all there is to them as a person.

Rise just got so many things right and I adore the show for it!

And lastly; with human behavior? It's certainly not as strong as the last two fixations, but I still find it rather interesting.

Everything we have been taught since birth feels black and white, especially with people's intentions and emotions. But, I don't think that's the case at all (in 95% of cases). People each have their own thoughts, feelings, and reasonings for why they do x, y, z, and I may not know everything about it, but Jesus Christ, it intrigues me so much.

Thank you so much for asking about my special interests =)

I apologize it took a while to answer, I've been busy with school, my job, and trying to finish the first part of the Black Box Warrior analysis (which I should hopefully have posted in the next day or two-)

[spacexseven]

V LATE REPLY BECAUSE I HAVE LONGER QUESTIONS AND ANSWER FOR YOU TUNA! bit here i throw these ones.

if only your ability didn't need you to kill...in that case, are you really to blame? such what-ifs only work in your favor, and if it comes to the point for a majority believes that you're needed alive, if only because you can be a wonderful weapon for the special division (much like how despite how his ability is considered the most dangerous, ayatsuji is kept alive and working), and the ada is given the work of keeping you alive and preventing you from harming others...then yes i can make a wonderful little thing w yan dazai (and ada) hehehe

A: delusional yanderes (my beloved). A quick background check helps in the implication that sk reader actions, while drastic, were merely built on survival. in a kinder world sk reader “would be a good person” but they “had to” be cruel to survive. Its half truths and lies that are stretched far too thin fit a false narrative that plants the seeds of a festering obsession within the ADA and Ayatsuji. Tsujimura and Ayatsuji can be placed as SK Reader’s semi-handlers. Watching over period to ensure that SK reader rehabilitation is working as intended. It doesn’t please Ayatsuji to have to part ways, but he doesn’t have much of a choice with giving SK readers to the ADA.

SK reader has a hostile and wary group of people who aren’t exactly pleased with the arrangement but are willing to attempt to give SK the benefit of the doubt. It’s a boring turn of events, but SK Reader can longer collect any abilities, nor hunt down any ability user without a proper reason. The mysterious killer suddenly goes missing, and the cases go unsolved. Of course, the truth is a bitter pill for many involved, but the saying: “how much is a person worth?” comes to mind as SK reader’s quiet fate is chosen, and the outcome shows that SK Reader’s Ability is worth over a dozen guilty and innocent lives.

Life is not fair. SK reader case shows that to many and the results lives a poisonous cocktail of emotions to stew. For, Dazai Osamu, it leaves a mess of anger and attraction to build up. (more thoughts on this man in the second question)

I feel Yosano probably develops this way towards SK reader too but its much more slow burn and with dignity. Given her past with Mori and the whole war, its natural for her to avoid getting too attached to people. She already has a low opinion on a murderer who kills people for merely having an “interesting” ability. She’s one of the more full blown hostile and indifferent yet passive aggressive ada members. At least at the start of it. She’s probably noticing the behavior of others first before she notices her own. Her own obsession and repression blinding her actions with quick, yet childish lies. Her hand linger on SK reader’s body when they get injured. Well, she just needs ro make sure SK readers injuries aren’t severe. She finds herself bantering, not arguing or scoffing at SK reader, but full blown banter. As if they’re friends, and not a guard and a prisoner who barely escaped their own execution. The feeling of want and lust breaks her ideals. She won’t cage or break SK reader. She won’t be like that man. She won't And yet, when she looks at the mirror, the horror that consumes Yosano is horrible because she doesn’t see Yosano Akiko in the mirror, but only Mori Ougai staring back at her.

or you know. dazai is losing himself in the desire to get revenge on the person who killed oda. but while trying to find you, somehow it turns into him learning more about you. somehow your evil existence turns into something addictive and alluring for him. who are you, really? dazai feels like he's the only one who knows. and you're the last connection between him and oda (since ango is gone too), so he's even more fixated on you. if you went after them, then why not him? everyone knows the infamous ability nullifier, right? cherry on top is if you blatantly tell him you have no use for his ability. i think it'd break him to the point where he completely loses himself

I do love hurting Dazai. His ability nullifies SK readers and in a way, nullifies and destroys everything sk reader has worked for. With his ability, there is no point in hunting and going after ability users, he’ll merely cancel it and it devolves to a physical fight rather than an ability fight. His ability is also rather boring and a “cheat” one that sk reader probably dislikes. I feel SK reader values work because they always work in getting the abilities they want and carefully maneuver their way into getting said abilities. While Dazai is heavily interesting and very complex, I feel that SK reader is someone who doesn’t project their own feelings onto others. Dazai’s been projected by Fyodor, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Mori, and even Oda. SK reader doesn’t have that need to understand or be near Dazai. He’s just the person who holds a powerful, but boring, (and the biggest sin for an ability, or at least I think SK reader would feel, it’s for it to be boring) compared to other seemingly dull ones. I genuinely find it ironic in a horrible and tragic way, that dazai would most likely project his own feelings and ideas on SK reader and feel as if only he, Dazai Osamu, truly knows you. Dazai becomes something like Akutagawa, always chasing after someone. He’s like Nikolai but worse in a pathetic and depressing way (so basically in canon anyways). He has journals filled with newspapers and photos of you. Random garbage and items that you dropped or wouldn’t notice being taken (Reader probably has but doesn’t feel threatened yet). He haunts SK reader, nipping at their heels like a starving dog. Unlike Nikolai, Dazai consumes ascoets of SK reader. He buys (or steals, maybe just takes the original) the same shirt Sk reader was wearing a day ago, the shoes they were gazing at or recently bought. records the shows sk reader enjoys or would like to watch. the food that they like to eat. the brands sk reader uses. the same shampoo.He records common words sk reader uses, or phrases they repeat. Whenever dazai wakes up, it's always to sk reader’s voice. But the looks SK reader gives him (indifference, boredom, annoyance) when they tell him that they have no use for such “boring and cheating like ability” gives a despair filled filling that not even Oda’s death gave him. (Honestly, Dazai is pur punching bag in this au and he’s the fyodor with god darling.) - 🦄 (the rest of the ada is still being finished, plus the other question and answers i have. this only the brief thoughts on this idea. Including yosano because she’s so fun to imagine as yandere)

okay quickly before i start!!! for some reason it totally slipped my mind that dazai's ability is. literally nullifying other abilities so😭trying to steal his ability would result in a singularity or something. i don't know how i mentioned his ability and still forgot?!?!

okay yea i just wanted to say that Anyways moving on

i do like having tsujimara and ayatsuji (tsuji2) as sort of sk reader's handlers (esp because both ayatsuji and reader are considered to have dangerous abilities and what not) also reluctant cooperation to ayatsuji becoming obsessed w sk reader is sooo fun heheh

in terms of the ada, much like how dazai's record was wiped and he was sent to the ada, sk reader gets a clean slate (they have to do it themselves since mushitarou is dead like sk reader and their interesting takes about abilities and ability users, especially if they show some form of admiration to ranpo first) is the only one who's explicitly told about what he's dealing with. he's not pleased, but better have you here than on the streets killing more users, or worse yet, in mori's hands

yosano finds out your identity when you use an ability you've stolen, one she recognizes from seeing the corpse of the user on the news. and once she finds out, everything she thought she knew about you feels like a lie. she might start hating you. she's someone who treasures life and people, and knowing you do what you do for your own reasons, with no regard for the users you've slaughtered fills her with anger. still, it's complicated. you were introduced to her as someone who made some mistakes, but has a chance at rehabilitation. wasn't that her, too? after tormenting all the soldiers (though against her will), she was given a chance to live with the ada, despite her past. when she thinks about the conversations you've had with her, the times she's used her ability on you and you've never once shied away from her touch, despite knowing she had to hurt you to heal you...it hurts. she remembers how you busted into an underground hideout once, to save her when she was taken by an enemy organization. now she knows the ability you used to save her then, came at the cost of a life. and she doesn't know how to feel about that.

there must be a reason that fukuzawa and ranpo have kept silent about your past. that everyone has treated you with the same familiarity the others get. and there must be a reason you're here now, that you took the opportunity to come to the ada instead of continuing your crimes. she wants to believe it; that you had changed. that your past didn't matter. after all, when you leaned on her arm after a night of drinking and told her you liked her company, that must have meant something, right? when you listened to her story and squeezed her hand, you felt for her, right? there was some humanity in you, and the little bit of it was enough for her—but only for her. she tells you that the others won't be welcoming if they knew who you are, hoping that, at the very least, you'd distance yourself from them if you believed that. she lies about their feelings towards ability users that abuse their power, claims that even if the special division begged the ada to help you, they'd toss you out at once. she lies and pretends she doesn't remind herself of someone she hates.

most ability users find dazai's ability annoying, but this blatant hatred you have for his is painful. you like figuring out how abilities work, how their users can use it to their advantage and how it shapes a person; but dazai's serves you no use (and you tell him all this to his face, not at all worried about how he may react), it only renders abilities useless, it only negates power. it doesn't contribute, doesn't leave a trace—it's not even permanent. and, when you think of the others in your collection, it's just boring.

"besides," you say, unbothered by dazai's obvious pain, "i have better things to do than entertain your stupid questions. the user of flawless (it rips him apart, how you can't even say oda's name) is dead, and nothing you do now will change that."

since you don't give him the answers he wants, he instead decides he can only find them out by following you. dazai thinks you'd be the kind of person everyone hates, the sort that harboured such hatred for the world that you'd turn to committing brutal crimes out of anger and jealousy. but it's far from the truth. what he sees of you is...an unbelievably normal person. you smile at the barista that makes your morning coffee, you stop to pet the stray cats that rub against your leg, you read books and listen to music and you're so ordinary like this that it makes his head spin. how were you the same ruthless murderer that he met before?

the salt in his wound is nikolai. seeing you talk to him, listen and entertain his questions, letting him walk you to the station after a murder like it was the end of a regular day fills him with an unfamiliar feeling. he watches nikolai ask when you'll go after him, sees you smile sharply and wink back, instead of your usual glowering silence. he realizes how you're warming up to the clown, becoming familiar with him. you even call him by his name—nikolai, you say, amused—and not by his ability. nobody else earned that honor from you. and it feels like you've stabbed him straight in the heart.

this all sets off his all consuming obsession with you. it's pathetic, how he searches desperately for something. it's not the answers he came looking for, but it's even more important. he looks for clues in your empty coffee cup and the cream you use on your hands. he searches for evidence in the books you read and your contacts list. he digs for the meaning behind why you keep the torn glove of nikolai gogol and why his name is on the list of abilities you plan to steal. by the end of it, dazai can't even recognize why he's doing this for.

he doesn't bother to hide his tracks, but it doesn't matter. as always, all you offer him is an uninterested, passive look, even when you find him in your room, looking at your papers.

"if you have to be a creep," you say, your apathetic tone twisting the knife in his heart, "at least have the courtesy to clean up after yourself." and that's all there is to it.

[atopvisenyashill]

sort of tangential to what you've been posting, but idt rhaenyra/jace or anya waynwood/her sons are special cases. arys oakheart's mother is a ruling lady and the wiki makes clear he's her youngest son, so surely his bros, esp the heir, have the oakheart name too. we also see this in the hornwood crisis, where one of the tallharts is married to the late lord's sister and offers to have one of his sons take the hornwood name to inherit his hornwood mother's old home. and there's harry the heir, with the arryn sigil in his personal arms and being called "the young falcon", i'd say there's a clear intention for him to take his grandmother's maiden name to inherit the arryn lands and titles if sweetrobin dies. that's the only way these old houses can survive with the same name for thousands of years, even when a lady isn't put in charge, a female-line male heir must use the name going with the titles he's taking. (see also, king joffrey lannister, who was not born a lannister but took his wife's name when she was her father's last surviving child. or the bael the bard story where a wildling's bastard inherited through his mother and took the stark name.)

definitely a fair point. part of my fixation is more

first names - because these are typically the "man's domain" even when the woman is an heiress (like Rhaenyra's boys for example) and i think it's wildly fascinating to analyze that aspect.

a sort of forced, idk, feminization i guess? of these fathers - when we have an heiress, we get characters who only think of their mothers (doran, arys) in a way that ned only thinks of his father and i find this pattern really fascinating in what it says about How The Family Operates

i mean...the thing is that "Andal Law" is really only like "Andal Tradition" and even then, "Andal Tradition" is more like a guide line than a strict rule and I think its interesting what cultures treat it more like a rule and what cultures treat it as a guide line. I think it's interesting how the North gets really fucking touchy about how they swore a vow to Rhaenyra, and then cause a massive succession issue with a string of unworthy heirs usurping their likely much more worthy and much more prepared aunts and cousins, because partaking in some borderline incest is lichrally better than a woman being in charge (god forbid). But then you have the Vale, which for some reason regularly has female line heirs with absolutely no issues or usurptions and I think it's really fascinating to think about why especially with the North having so many female line heirs in the "current" era (because all the men are dead). It's similar but different to the aftermath of the Dance - whereas the Dance had a rule by widows, the North will simply be ruled by heiress' taking up their father's seats after their brother's and cousins have died.

Also (imo) different when it comes to Valyrian husbands marrying heiresses because of the Valyrian supremacy thing as well as Jacaerys walking a very fine line here between claiming and overclaiming the Velaryons when he has no actual blood relation to them. As you say, there's probably plenty of second born sons or lower born husbands who are happy to take their wives' names if it means they get access to more privilege (I know Genna takes Emmon's name, obviously, as do their kids, but we see Emmon is more than willing to take a backseat to Genna's politicking if it will benefit him. I mean, that's the point of marriage, is to gain access to more stability or privilege, after all! Pride only lasts so long in the face of jealousy or even hunger!) but Daemon isn't exactly a normal second son and then there's the added issue of Rhaenyra being crown princess.

[protocolseben]

a regular day in the ISS. | 1685 words alt title : a short story written while i screwed with html. you can use mobile, but landscape please!

you can read the story below the cut without all the jazz. it's pretty much all the same.

408 km above Switzerland / 4:18:48 PM /UTC +1 CET 38 Days - Manned Mission 2-1 LOG : a regular day in the ISS.

"ah, switzerland again!"

"how about australia for once?"

"no."

"alright, suit yourself then."

-----

"Besides, how hard is it to miss Australia? It's...one big thing just. There. Not my fault you can't catch it in time."

"Yes, and your stupid numbers board there."

"I want to win after all."

"Nothing to gain from winning it, love."

(of course seb is winning…)

««« ────── [ approximately 2.5 years ago ]

Mark's half-superior-half-coworker Jonathan Wheatley had once jokingly asked him if he wanted to move to the STELLARIA Section, in which Mark's response was a grimace and a terse "No thank you," given the fact that the fellas of that section was…eccentric to say the least.

He was unsure as to why Horner decided to open a whole section dedicated to just original research, but given that even the man himself had superiors, he was not surprised. Must be the weird old guy from the Munich University again in his ear. Either way, he must be really special to have all the astrophysicists be in their very own area.

"I watched them do their stuff once." Wheatley said in one of break rooms. "I didn't get a single lick of it, even with the math they used. And I had almost full scores in all the Engineering mathematics. They can get real loony."

Mark shrugged his shoulders, in slight agreement. STELLARIA was chock full of these nerds that are constantly fixated on space numbers, but one of them stood out the most for looking like a 15 year old. but at that point the slightly scraggly man -- boy? -- already seemed to be fond of Mark from the get-go. Rocky had brought him over while touring the place, and the twinkle in the latter's eyes easily meant trouble for him in the future.

Theoretical subdiv, Rocky clarified, the guy bringing Seb around. Not the normal Practical use physics that the other sections worked with.

Charming, he thought, but still, it's unfortunate that they would barely see each other considering the differences in what they did. Some other fella named Anton looked at STRUCTURAL once, and slinked away at the massive working machines he and his coworkers went back and fro to. Couldn't blame him.

Wheatley told him that Sebastian had only joined the company a month ago, and apparently as part of his traineeship, or cadetship, something along the lines, while still working on his final fringes of his PhD or the like. It wasn't officially stated yet to the world, but rumours had already persisted that didn't really have any interest in the other agencies. But that was a wild story for another time. Mark wonders how he managed to do so many things at the same time, and was entertaining the thought of him having a twin or clone to help out.

At the end of the break, Mark had pushed away the thought of the starry-eyed section long towards the back of his mind. Not useful, he muttered.

»»» ────── [ present day, present time ]

(being pushed down by 25-year old worth of kilograms)

"what lame ass metal thing are you doing right now?"

"being dragged down by you… why is your hair so ticklish?! it's just last part of today's experiment."

"ok. i think CORE wants to give us a report for today in a few minutes, and then i can knock myself out."

"you get to knock out? i had to drag you to your sleeping bag because you weren't meeting your 8 hours ─"

"the graph was too interesting…"

"oh god it's you two arguing again."

"oops, hello Marlon."

««« ──────

Overtime. He never really minded it, because the peace and quiet was optimal, for when Mark was too caught up in the place building his things, and free to audibly mumble his thoughts.

Unfortunately for him on this fine evening, a person stood waiting behind his back , holding a slice of chocolate bread made with approximately 100% passion and 89% skill 500% flavour. Mark was dumbfounded at the bread hanging in front of him, but he was kind of hungry. It was a bit singed at the edges, but it still tasted good. He thanked Seb, stuffing the piece into his mouth and delighting in the chip flavour burst.

Until you realise that the person's pass was not authorised for this specific part of the building, of course. He whipped his head around and nearly strained his neck --

"How the fuck did you get in?! You are not supposed to be here." Mark had exclaimed in hushed tones, the first time Seb had managed to inflitrate the Section. STRUCTURAL was tightly maintained.

"I know all the corridors to here already." there's that knowing tone again. What a nosy little shit.

"There's nothing interesting in this place mate," Mark threw his hands up, looking around to make his point and hunking pieces of things and thingmabobs, before looking at the kid before him. "all I do every day is testing and make sure the materials are working right. And doing work I'm too slow to finish."

"It's ok, making stuff is fun. My dad used to be a carpenter and make stuff out of wood. Writing space math gets boring when you're sitting there too long."

You couldn't argue with that, he's a curious kid alright.

He let him have a look around. Seb's eyes were immediately drawn to the panel-type mish-mash item laying about in the corner, lifting and turning it gingerly like a new archaeological find. Dents, dings and bumps marred the surface of it, curious materials all welded with different names to them, like "Carbon Fibre" and "Heat Resistant Fibreglass".

"It's just our in-house materials, Seb. Not that big of a deal."

"Still, making a whole new kind of matter, you guys are pretty cool."

»»» ──────

"psst. hey. mark."

"what?"

(rustling sound)

" 'Thermo-Sterilised Chocolate Bread'… STRUCTURAL Section. What? When did they do these?"

"They had a whole investigation to try "compress" it. Also, i thought you were more level-headed, Mark. They told me you got visibly jealous over people snooping for my bread!"

"God, they noticed that…? Was i that serious about it?"

"you were."

"shit."

««« ──────

As much as Mark wanted to entertain Seb's sixty thousand questions, which were basic engineering (but he didn't mind), he wanted to go home more. So he had to gently convince to him to leave, turning the lights out for the night.

By gently convincing, it meant Mark forcing Seb on one of those roller chairs and rolling him out STRUCTURAL Section's main doors, before kicking the empty chair back in. -- "wait let me get my stuff first!!" he had exclaimed, running back to STELLARIA and back to meet Mark in a record of 3 minutes.

Quite a speedy lad. Mark had not seen someone go as fast as that since University Rugby in Australia. He was obliterated on contact by the opponent as he dived for the ball. Three months out with a broken left shoulder. Ah, the wonders of youth.

"You didn't let me see the machines."

"And you didn't even tell me what you like." Mark had grumbled, fumbling for his car keys as they walked out the tall glass doors. "And you can do it anytime, the machines aren't going to grow legs and run away."

Seb simply gave a grin.

oh for fuck's sake. "Fine. Anyway, I'm going off. Goodnight, Seb." He was about to walk off, before realising something. "How… do you go home?"

"Huh? Bus obviously. Salzburg's pretty good with the public transport. Yeah I have a license but I don't care much for driving a lot."

Mark looked at him right in the eye. "Get over here. I'll just drive you back." He wanted to laugh when Seb just stood there in his stupid oversized jacket giving him a questioning look. "I'm being serious. Where do you live anyway? It's faster than just waiting around."

► ► ►

It was the world's most uneventful trip by many standards. In fact, Mark's passenger somehow managed to catch a quick snooze right after telling him the address. Seb lived on the other side of Salzburg, in a simple four-floored apartment. Despite being practically the same as his own, Mark thought the surroundings were more cozy.

He gave Seb a gentle nudge on the shoulder. "Ok sleeping beauty, nice place you have here."

"Huh…what…?" He looked around before realising. "You seriously didn't have to…"

"It's for the bread. Good stuff."

There was a short moment of silence as Seb processed what Mark said, before turning slightly red. "I-if you want, I can give you different flavours every week," he said. "Banana, Raisin,--"

Mark just sat the wheel listening in mild awe. He would've just gone home and knocked out or gotten a beer. It sort of made him want to try baking, but that was probably his illogical brain talking, before realising he had to tell Seb to not get any more ideas. "No, no, you don't need to do it, it's just that you are really impressive, still finding time to bake."

"It's a nice hobby!" Seb laughed. "Ok, ok, i'm leaving now. Goodnight Mark, thanks again. Take care." He clumsily opened the car door and right after, tried to give Mark the awkwardest fist bump attempt on Earth.

► ► ►

Twenty two hours to the first time Seb sneaked into STRUCTURAL, a slightly baffled Mark whipped his head around to the sound of the maintenance exit audibly opening, to a Seb holding some more of his homemade chocolate bread.

"I have a lot more at home in the fridge, actually, if you'd like."

»»» ──────

ISS INTEGRATED VIDEO LOG : // ZVEZDA-20XX-24-01-XX:23:11:98

(zip noises) come on stop struggling Seb.

HU--REN--SOHN!!!

translation : son of a bitch.

there, neat and tidy. good luck waking up tomorrow, i think you'll be fine.

I will throw you out the airlock tomorrow. You watch.

muah. ok, goodnight sweetheart. love you. don't wreck the module.

fuck you..............night.

-- RECORDING ENDED --

»»»───«««

[herefortarlos]

Hello!

I love seeing your excitement around the fandom and a special thanks for all the support you give me in the tags! I was what made you start watching lone star? What made you keep watching lone star? What’s your favorite part of fandom?

Awwww, hello, Jen!! Haha, I am very happy to know that you enjoy my fangirling and hopefully don't find it annoying 😆.

So what clued me into 911 Lone Star, was seeing random clips from the show when I would be bored and scroll through FB and Instragram's videos section. The scenes that I remember the best are of course the racist neighbor and "Sure ma'am but I am a homosexual." And Paul's, "but I am trans, though." And then the corn silo scene and Marjan popping up and having lost her hijab, and everyone gathering around to protect her modesty. I loved knowing there was a show out there that had, from the brief bits I saw, canon gay, trans and Muslim characters!! Then I bought Hulu in late 2022, specifically to watch the movie Julie and Julia, then I watched all of Modern Family. And then I was like, well, I still have this service for the end of the month, and I saw Lone Star was on it and I have not looked back 😂 I wish Hulu kept track of it, because I don't know how I consumed 3 seasons of Lone Star so quickly while also working.

Tarlos and TK, then later Carlos, when we finally got more of him in season 2, were big reasons I kept watching. I also genuinely like all of the characters! I did not think I would love Judd as much as I did, big, stereotypical Texas man, but is not like you thought at all! Owen and TK's relationship is one of my favorite things too, such a loving father-son relationship, without the toxic masculinity is so refreshing! Getting Tommy in season 2 was such a big improvement too!!

I could go on and on about the characters, but another huge reason I fell in love with the show was because it actually had a trans black man, played by a trans male actor, a gay Latino man, played by a gay actor, and of course the fandom didn't find out about Ronen until 2021, but I learned watching in 2022, was a gay man, played by a bisexual actor!! Representation matters and as a queer person, I was so happy to see a show actually put in the effort to try and cast accordingly!! Even now, when I try to get friends to watch the show, I always start by gushing about tarlos, of course, and then secondly talk about the casting!

Finally, my FAVORITE part of the fandom has to be all of our amazingly talented writers and the stories they provide to keep Tarlos alive, interesting and relevant, especially during longer than expected hiatuses. I have been reading fanfic for various fandoms since 2012? And I appreciate all the work and effort writers put in to provide us fans with more content, without expecting anything in return, so the least I can do is comment on fics and reblog works here with my unhinged tags 😂

Also, I really appreciate how active the fandom is on Tumblr and I loveee saving and liking posts, specifically based on different people's tags 😆 As my name suggests, I made a new Tumblr for Tarlos in January 2023 I believe, so very recent. The last time I was on Tumblr was 2019, after it quickly declined in popularity, and all the previous artists and writers I followed left for Twitter. The fact that I fell in love with a show and couple enough to seek out a community for it definitely says a lot about it! When I fall in love with characters or a couple, I will hyper fixate on them for a minimum of 2 years, and hopefully this obsession lasts longer because of this active fandom and the fact that Lone Star is still ongoing and providing new material, as soon as these dumb companies decide to actually pay their workers a decent living wage anyway.

Phew, time to go find some lunch 😂 Thank you for the ask, Jen, and if you ever need a beta I'm your girl ❤️ But regardless, you can definitely expect me to reblog and express my love for the next fic you tease! I am not going to survive when Meet you After Dark drops!

[michameinmicha]

hello you asked for cats so i will SHOW YOU MY CATS. i live with three of them!! two are more connected to my roomie since they've lived with my roomie for longer than with me, one is super fixated on me. we have pumput, fred, and kasi

(kein plan warum ich das alles auf englisch geschrieben habe aber mir ist es literally nicht aufgefallen bis ich schon mehr als die hälfte hatte lol naja egal)

-pumput

he's the middle child. he doesn't like strangers, has a very melodic purr, sucks at sharpening his claws. he can be very talkative but he's very well behaved, he doesn't meow unless you pay attention to him. he likes to pretend he's the alpha of the household. he is kind stupid. he's always annoyed at kasi because kasi is a grumpy old man who sometimes Dares to go into Pumputs TerritoryTM (the hallway and kitchen). he is very gentle even when he's telling you to fuck off. he likes to squeeze himself into the very narrow gap between my desk and the heater when the heater is on. to absorb as Much Warmth as he can

-fred

the youngest. acts like it. he is really really stupid (affectionate). he always wants to play with kasi. kasi hates him but he doesn't respect him at all. fred wasn't socialised with other cats when he was a baby so he doesn't understand cat language. thus he is never afraid of/respects kasi even when he hisses at him. he likes to watch birds and chitter at them. greatest fly-catcher (and other insects) that has ever lived. he can usually be found on my loft bed because he treats it like a premium cat tree. gets along with everyone because he doesn't get it when they don't like him. he's always like. "that seems like a they problem (✿◠‿◠)"

-kasi

the old man. the grumpy asshole. the light of my life. he can be really annoying when he doesn't get his food at Exactly The Right Time or i dare to change my (and subsequently his) routine. he likes to cuddle but only with me. he really enjoys eating plants of every kind, especially if he's not allowed to. he has arthrosis and recently lost his eyesight on one of his eyes due to complications with high blood pressure. i've lived with him since i was 7 (he is 17). he has been a lone wolf for most of his life (he's been living with me again for about a year, he stayed at my mother's place when i moved out). because of that he hated both pumput and fred to the point where i thought he had to go back to my mother. but now they're in a state of mutually ignoring each other/tolerance/the occasional hiss and slap when someone Dares to go into his terriotry. or when there's food. recently he has taken a liking to sitting at the windowsill in my roomie's room which faces the street (he does not care about my windowsills, which point to the garden and the birds).

(if you want to see more of them i have a tag on my blog where i post cat pics ;) it's #kitty cats)

here's some things i like about you that i noticed in the brief time our paths have been crossing:

-i love your dedication to die drei fragezeichen omg i was never into it as a child but i love seeing you be so enthusiastic about them -your art is fucking beautiful -you have a great sense of humour -your blog is very pretty and your profile pic makes me smile

i think we're kind of similar, at least in a few ways. i greatly enjoy seeing you in my notes and i'm very happy we're mutuals <3 thank you for always liking my art stuff it means a lot to me!!!

i hope you feel better soon and i am bonking my head against yours like a cat and if you want i am squishing you in a hug as well

Asdfhjll thanks for showing me your cats they sound lovely and are very cute! Interesting to read about their interactions and personalities :3 Also good names as well!

I wanna show u my cats too <3

Kasi reminds me a bit of my timmy who died last year (he turned 20 (old old man) and also had arthrosis (and diabetes but the special food worked rly well for him) and loved plants (especially schnittlauch, which isnt great for cats in big quantities (he loved that shit and we had to put it out of his reach cause he always got to it)) sometimes grumpy but mostly sweet and loved cuddles and also was very vocal about getting food on time! He used to sleep next to my head :,) Oh and he too loved laying on the windowsill watching the street as well!)

Also theres cami our other cat who is a lot younger and always annoyed timmy trying to play when he just wanted to nap like the grandpa he was... shes very stubborn and fluffy, she has a very high voice like 'meeeep' and when shes feeling cuddly its the softest! She never learned how to wake me up (which timmy used to do by literally sceeaming in my ear from 0cm away) instead she always just lies on top of me and starts purring which only makes me more comfy in bed... although she has been getting more vocal recently, which i guess is a good thing :)

Thanks for sending this very long ask

i send a head bonk and hug back!

[sorcerersandskillusers]

heyaa!

missed your posts, alex!

I'm in an annoying mood rn so let me bother you with unprompted Q and A (for academic purposes lol /J 😋)

A. Are you an extrovert or Introvert?

B. Got any future plans on ao3?

D. Strongest fixation you've ever had? (hobby, piece of media, etc. if ur not comfortable sharing, second strongest fixation is good too :>

D. How many languages can you speak?

E. Any bsd character you dislike (as a person)? Like, you think they're well written but you don't like them?

F. Name one (or more) thing/s you want to see happen in BSD

G. Most stressful online experience and how you dealt with it?

H. Love language? (e.g physical touch/words of affirmation/acts of service/etc)

I. One embarrassing college story?

J. How's college?

K. Any new interests?

+BONUS: share something u want to share 😗

(P. S just answer the ones you want to.

#nopressureasks 😄💖

MISSED YAA. SPECIAL HUGS 😸🫂🫂😸

💖💖💖

A. For a long time I would have said introvert but after coming to Uni I realised how much I need to be around people for energy, so definitely extrovert.

B. Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... no idea, getting up the motivation to do anything creative is incredibly hard and with so much of my energy just going to studying and social stuff if I do post anything it will be pretty sporadic.

C. I've had so many, it would be impossible to say which ones were the strongest, but a few of my really long-lasting ones have been; BSD, space (my whole childhood), Undertale, DnD, a million random science rabbit holes, many anime and cartoons... the list is pretty much never ending. I've never really had many hobbies though, i guess I've done horse riding for a while and I spent 2 years restoring a dead natural pond to support life (probably the thing I'm most proud of doing)

D. Very sadly 1, I spoke a bit of sinhala when I was at school in Sri Lanka but have lost pretty much all over the years I've been in the UK.

E. As a person? Many. BSD is full of interesting but terrible people and IRL I would probably hate many of my favourite characters but some that I hate especially are; N, The orphanage director, Steinbeck (for what he did to Q), Mori (love the character, hate the person) etc...

F. A major character death, Akutagawa confronting Dazai about how he was treated, Sigma joining the ADA

J. Going really well, I love my subject and even though its a lot of work the Uni is really supportive, and I have friends to struggle through it with.

K. Too many to count

[furrygalactaknightpaws]

*deep inhale* 5, 7, 8, 11 (I know you have many things so maybe one of your favorites or one you're fixated on right now!), 16, 17, 19, 20, 22 (I think I know the answer to this), 23, 24 (I also know some of the answer to this), 26, 27, 28, 29 and 30: least favorite Animal Crossing villager and least favorite Pokemon!

YAY lots of questions!!! This will prolly post a while after the other ask you sent me cause it’s gonna take a bit XD

5. favorite form of potato?

I have never been the biggest potato person, I thought I hated them as a kid but I have realized in the last years I do like potatoes just not a ton. Anyways I enjoy baked chips, crispy shoestring fries (If fries ain’t crispy I don’t want them), my partner makes yummy homemade fries too >w< but my fave is prolly sweet potato, including sweet potato fries and also sweet potatoes baked with brown sugar, that shit is heavenly -w-

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

ALL OF THEM!! I adore water dwelling creatures so much and have always had a special interest in marine biology! But I, especially at our zoo, love seeing the penguins (they’re so interactive and love to play with you by the glass) n also sharks n stuff, but yeah I love them all <3

8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

I always change into pajamas right away if we have no other plans to go out! Lounging around in normal clothes feels uncomfortable to me, pajamas feel so free and safe -w-

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

Lots of things as you said!! x3 I’m a very nostalgic person!! My fave plushie I own is a bunny named Mocha and I also have lots of games I’ve owned since I was a kid and a childhood ps2 I cherish, the old copy of KH1 I have for it, I dunno I have so much XD I also have a collection of pony figures from mlp g4 that I love, and I still have and wear this shirt I got in hot topic when I was 12 ⬇️

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

Hate it! Ew! Disgusting! I’m sorry for me personally it’s the equivalent of eating toothpaste on chocolate and I’m just not into it x3

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

I feel I bite my nails, also I anxiously stretch x3

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

I fucking hate beans like maybe all types of them, I dunno. It’s a sensory thing I hate the bean skins or whatever it is -w-‘ I also don’t like celery it’s boring and gets stuck in my teeth which is another sensory thing XD

20. favorite disney princess movie?

Beauty and the Beast!!! I also love Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and Mulan for many reasons hehe. I love Disney history, art and such so the older movies are my cup of tea x3

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

I do!! You know this hehe but it’s an animal crossing one with Mabel, Sabel and Label all over it :3 water bottles I tend to get attached to and this one my mom gave me after my other one broke earlier this year. I try my best to take care of my bottle cause they’re important to me 💖

23. do you wear jewelry?

Not really a lot, I do occasionally wear this sunflower bracelet that matches with Luma’s 🌻 and I have a necklace also from them that is a rose one and I love both of those! Otherwise I don’t really wear jewelry!

24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

It depends XD I mostly use USA English cause I am from the usa, but on the other hand I type lots of words with spelling that is not typical usa spelling such as colour and defence. Some terminology I use out loud too but not a lot :3

26. how’s your spice tolerance?

Preeeetty low XD I think higher than others who have like NO spice tolerance but I can mostly handle some spice in like, sushi, spicy mayo, that kind of thing? But I can’t really handle a lot of it or very slowly cause not only do I get sick from spicy food but my mouth burns so fast -w-‘

27. what’s your favorite or go-to outfit?

I’m not sure if I have one! :0 going vague tho I like wearing loose t-shirts with my interests on it especially like games or whatever, I love baggy pants but I mostly only have pajama baggy pants. I guess anything comfy and casual is my go to :3

28. last meal on earth?

Gimme an all you can eat sushi platter with my favourite rolls covered in eel sauce and spicy mayo and I’ll be happy :3

29. preferred pasta noodle?

Hmm I love tortellini and ravioli a ton :3c for non filled pastas I love shells, mini shells, rotini (especially garden rotini), gnocchi, and angel hair!

30. Least favourite animal crossing villager and least favourite Pokemon!

AC villager easy!! I hate Barold and Yuka. Barold cause he’s ugly and his design just feels racist and I hate that :/ for Yuka it’s cause of personal reasons, she’s a bitch in my ACPG town and I can’t stand her XD

Least fave Pokémon.. it’s hard I don’t like saying I hate any Pokémon but I like really don’t like these Pokémon..

[megaawkwardhuman]

15 questions thing

Thanks for tagging me @someguywife :)

1) Are you named after anyone? birth name: no. my preferred name: yes named myself after the lead singer of a band I liked at the time!

2) When was the last time you cried? last night while badly singing a mitski song.

3) Do you have kids? do plush children count? if so yes I have kids and I have a loooot of them.

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot? no but every now and then I use it. (it honestly depends on who I'm talking to.)

5) What's the first thing you notice about people? don't really know probably the way that they talk maybe?

6) What's your eye color? dark brown. (but not too dark you can't see my pupils)

7) Scary movies or happy endings? if I HAD to pick happy endings tho I do love both equally.

8) Any special talents? ok this is going to sound crazy and idk if it's a talent per se but I've scaringly good at predicting things. it's never anything MAJOR (well except that one time I predicted the queen of england's death two days before it happened BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) but I've predicted minor things both on purpose and on accident WAY too many things for it to be a coincidence. idk I could just be crazy. (I'm probably just crazy)

9) Where were you born? Some where in california. (That's as much as I'm gonna say)

10) What are your hobbies? drawing, making kandi (if you don't know what that is they're these plastic bracelets that are common among ravers and some subcultures tho I'm not a raver nor am I in the subcultures they're common in I just think they're neat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), writing every now and then, and whatever I pick up at 3am and fixate over for a week.

11) Do you have any pets? yes a german shepherd. :)

12) What sports do you play/have you played? never really played any sports competitively. I did swim a lot growing up tho and I was really good if I do say so myself. haven't swam in YEARS (maybe one day but not anytime soon)

13) How tall are you? 5'10 but wish I was taller.

14) Favourite subject in high school? art! sadly I only had it freshman year but I fucking loved it! honorable mention to my freshman year theater class mainly for the people who were clearly only in that class cause they needed the credit/placed in it and couldn't get out of it which lead to many interesting moments.

15) Dream job? I don't have anything in particular in mind really. maybe something that involve art of some sorts but idk.

I personally feel weird tagging people on posts but feel free to do this if you wanna :D

[17020]

HI I'M YN AND THIS IS MY LAST DRINK. . .

because my misery is your enjoyment. aka part 2 of this post! warnings for fem/afab reader, unestablished relationships (kaji, hiragi), established relationships (togame, choji, tsubaki), vomiting (choji), smut (?) fingering sorta (tsubaki). mdni!

REN KAJI — BABY, NO.

ren kaji had you tired. tired, drained, and shitting bricks.

you knew situationships could be stressful, but could you even call this a situationship? he was your best friend, and you had your eye on him from the moment you saw him...

but did he even see you in a romantic light? since when was he so caring?

the more you thought about it, the sicker you became. you were sure it was your best friend making you feel this way, and not the full cups of vodka you drank in an attempt to distract yourself.

and distract yourself you did.

as if things couldn't get any worse, you had to get approached by an old friend, a guy you had no interest in. the scowl on your face was not enough to spook him away, as he ran his hand through his hair and rambled on about how his life had been, with him asking to hang out with you the following week.

it was right then and there where you felt an arm wrap itself around your waist, quick kiss being planted on your cheek.

speak of the devil. ren kaji, with his headphones decorating his neck, and a pink sucker in his hand. before you could even introduce kaji to your friend, he grabbed your hand as he swiftly guided you to a more secluded space, asking you if you were okay.

"i'm okay, but ren—what's going on?"

he tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"look, you hold my hand, you tell me you love me, and you act like my partner and—and best friends don't do that. just tell me, ren, what are we? because best friends don't do this shit and i'm tired."

kaji was unable to look you in the eye, his gaze fixated on the ground.

"i'll stop if you want me to, didn't mean to make you feel like that."

and with a quick turn in his heel, kaji headed towards the door, not daring to say goodbye. tears welled up in your eyes as you ran towards a ping pong table filled with bottles, drinking cup after cup and getting approached by none other than hiragi.

hiragi sure had a way with words. strangely enough, your encounter with him had you sitting cross-legged on the floor, venting about kaji and the whole ordeal. he encouraged you to sober up and text him, and was surprised when you pulled out your phone and texted you best friend in that instant, sobbing from desperation as he took too long to reply. many distractions later, your phone buzzed.

YN 11:01 ren im really drunk right now and hiragis here with me and i wantd to say i regret everythign and i do wanna hug you and kiss you and holdyour hand i dont want you to do it with anyone else ilove you

REN <3 11:45 i love you too yn, and i promise i'll only be like that with you. sorry i couldn't say it in person, but you're too special to me and i don't want to lose you. i talked with hiragi. is it true he had to carry you so you could do some pull ups and heard you sing justin bieber's baby?

"TOMA HIRAGI. YOU ARE A DEAD MAN."

TOMA HIRAGI — IT'S TOO LOUD IN HERE.

hiragi was unable to wipe the scowl off his face. he knew it was wrong to feel that pit of acid in his stomach as he watched you stumbling and giggling while talking to the white-haired man in front of you, his hand gently holding yours and his nose almost brushing against yours, as 'it was too loud in there, and you looked like you could use some balance.'

he was in disbelief.

toma hiragi was jealous of bofurin's hajime umemiya.

he desperately wanted for you to notice him. a part of him was angry with himself, because he was the one who invited umemiya to that party in the first place. indirectly, he brought his own competition to some dumb party. he only came in the first place because he knew you would be there.

as a large crowd started to form to play beer pong in pairs, hiragi was grateful when he saw you approach him, a goofy smile plastered on your face.

"let's play! i'll take your shots so that you won't drink, 'kay?"

it was thanks to this that hiragi found out how great you were at beer pong, having the couple in front of you nearly wasted at the end. unfortunately for you, hiragi's aim was questionable, leading to you becoming as drunk as your opponents. not before becoming champion, though.

you looked at hiragi with half-lidded eyes, your head tilted towards your side as your lips curled into a smile.

you were wasted.

"'s kinda loud in here, let's go somewhere else, 'ragi."

it was too loud in there, he thought, as he placed his hand on your back and guided you to a nearby bench, making you sit next to him as you placed your head on his shoulder. it was way too damn loud, because he wanted you all to himself, away from umemiya and away from everyone else.

hiragi's head rested on top of yours, his hand placed on your knee as you took your phone out from your purse, pressing the camera icon and framing you and hiragi.

"'m sure i'm gonna wanna remember this" you admitted, thumb pressing the 'shutter' button as you took a picture.

"…send me the picture. i'm sure i'm gonna wanna remember this too."

JO TOGAME — DRESS ME UP, LEMON BOY.

"she's in the kitchen. hurry, togame, she can't stand by herself!"

when jo togame received a text from your friend saying you had gotten beyond wasted at her birthday party, a part of him wanted to believe she was exaggerating.

unfortunately, she was not.

"jooooo baby you're hereeee~"

his eyes widened as you approached him, barely able to stand on your own and falling into his arms at your friend's kitchen. she handed your boyfriend a pair of shorts and a hoodie, which belonged to her, as well as a lime cut in half and a glass filled with water.

togame's mission was clear: doll you up and make you feel brand new.

he took the shorts and made you sit on the counter, chuckling when you pouted as he tried sliding your legs into the shorts and pulling them up in an attempt to put them on you.

"jo, the shorts're so unfashionable. 's gonna ruin my look!"

your boyfriend sighed and shook his head, offering you a small smile. "your dress is short, princess. one wrong move and people will see somethin' that's mine. now arms up, baby, let's put on this hoodie so we can go home, okay?"

you nodded disappointedly, raising your arms as togame dressed you with your friend's hoodie, then cupping your cheek and telling you how beautiful you looked. handing you the glass of water, he waited until you drank it all, heading towards the sink and quickly rinsing it. he took the lime from the kitchen counter, holding it against your lips.

"suck on this for me, won't you baby?"

you did as told, your gaze never leaving your boyfriend's. he smiled as your expression changed from the sourness of the lime, pulling away once it had completely shrunken.

"now that's a good girl. let's go home, yeah? you need to rest."

CHOJI TOMIYAMA — HOLD MY HAND, HOLD MY HAIR.

you, choji, and alcohol were never a good mix.

restraint was a concept unknown to the both of you, always ending up drinking more than what your bodies could handle. moreover, there were multiple occasions in which you both drank on an empty stomach.

and with alcohol being a diuretic, it was only a matter of time before…

"chooo, baby, can you come pee with me?"

eagerly, he nodded as you both had an arm wrapped around the other's shoulder, using one another to walk properly to the nearest bathroom.

he opened the door for you, turning around and shutting it. once he locked it, he covered his eyes with his hands as he gave you the go-ahead to pee. a few seconds later, he heard giggles coming from behind him.

"you know i love you, right? soooo much. i love you so much choji."

choji smiled as he responded that he loved you too, more than you would ever know or imagine. his eyes widened in surprise when he heard the next thing you said.

"will you hold my hand while i pee? it helps me pee, cho."

"it would be my pleasure" he grinned, shutting his eyes close as he removed one hand from his face to hold yours.

as soon as you went to the bathroom, choji felt…

"baby? i don't feel so good. let go of my hand a sec—"

blaaargh.

you were thankful of your boyfriend's quick reflexes, having the ability to turn his head towards the sink before he threw up. you gasped, worried, asking him if he was okay. after finishing up, you went to the sink to wash your hands, as your boyfriend dried his face off with the towel.

"baby, we need to leave now, i clogged the sink."

TASUKU TSUBAKINO — THE 'LAST TIME'.

"remember what happened last time, sweetie?"

truth be told, you did. you remembered it clear as day.

cheers and whistles could be heard from outside the bathroom as tsubaki's lips clashed against yours in a desperate, hungry kiss. the bitter taste of alcohol was long forgotten as tsubaki placed you on top of the sink, your legs spread as he pressed himself against you. you sighed with pleasure as you bucked your hips forward, parting your lips as your boyfriend slipped his tongue inside.

your hands were entangled in his hair to pull him closer as he lifted your skirt, fingers tauntingly running up and down your clothed cunt. he pulled away as he moved his body against yours, shuddering when you leaned forward and attached your lips onto his neck, gently sucking as tsubaki whined.

pulling away, you stare at the purple mark on your boyfriend's neck with pride, and unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend looked at your lips, which were decorated with smeared lipstick.

"you're soaked, baby."

"i know" you breathed lightly, "you look pretty in purple."

"you look pretty in red" he cooed, his hand hurriedly guiding yours up his skirt. your hand was now wrapped around his cock, stroking it up and down as your boyfriend sucked in a sharp breath.

"baby you're—aah—you're gripping it too hard. let's focus on you for now, okay?"

you muttered an apology as your boyfriend reassured you that it was fine. with one swift movement, tsubaki moved your soaked panties to the side as he sank his digits into—

"tasuku. wrong hole."

it was then when you realized that perhaps sex was something you would rather enjoy sober, as you and your boyfriend tidied yourselves up and exited the bathroom, laughing hysterically while enduring the physical pain.

coming back to your senses, you pouted. "m'not that drunk, i won't grab it too hard this time."

[casspurrjoybell-19]

Does it Matter? - Chapter 2 - Part 1

*Warning: Adult Content*      

Prince Maric couldn't stop thinking about bright blue eyes contrasted against pale skin and dark hair and it was well past being annoying.

He was beginning to wish he had just asked Dara to lend him his hand for a few minutes.

That probably wouldn't have caused the slave too much distress and maybe then he wouldn't be fixating like this. 

Or maybe he still would have been.

It hadn't been sex that was on his mind as he had been trying to get to sleep last night.

He had been thinking about Dara and those guards and what they did to him.

Maric hadn't pressed for details at the time, hadn't thought it really mattered but now it bothered him that he didn't know. 

He had initially assumed that they just beat him but as he had laid in bed thinking about it he had remembered Dara mentioning, almost off hand, that serious injuries could take hours to right themselves.

As though that was something he had regular experience with.

After that, his imagination had been happy to supply him with an extensive list of things they might have done to the poor slave. 

Now, after just a few hours of restless sleep, he was trying to listen as his father, King Rowan, went over the details of Maric's upcoming diplomatic trip and he still couldn't get Dara out of his head. 

Brayan nodded seriously as Maric's father tapped a marker on the map in the middle of the table.

Maric had brought the Captain of his guard with him to this briefing because he had wanted a buffer between himself and his father and now he was doubly glad he was there because Maric was not listening.

He struggled enough to maintain interest in this diplomatic nonsense when he wasn't distracted. 

It was wasn't only Dara's troubling circumstances that was making it so difficult for Maric to clear him from his mind.

Maric was empathetic enough to care about the pain of others, even if they were only slaves but never so much that it distracted him.

There was something about Dara himself the simultaneously intrigued and unsettled him.

The way Dara had met his gaze, even and unwavering, only dropping it when he had become flustered. 

Maric had almost wanted to scold him several times last night, except he'd never been sure what for.

Slaves were expected to behave in a certain way, especially around a prince but by the time they ended up in Maric's presence they were already fully trained.

He had never needed to know the details of what was expected of them because they knew. 

Yet Dara acted more like someone doing their very best to improvise proper behaviour.

Maric didn't understand it.

Even if he had spent the last several years largely ignored, up until he was fourteen he had been thought a fine enough slave to be prepared as a special gift for Maric.

Had the trauma shaken him so much that he had forgotten everything he'd known? 

"Hmm, that is troubling," Brayan said.

"Isn't it, Maric?" 

Maric stared at him.

He had no idea what his father had been talking about. 

"Yes," Maric said after far too long a pause, fooling nobody. 

His father sighed.

"Some of the bigger cities. They've been becoming less compliant it recent years." 

"Ah," Maric said. 

Maric's father kneaded at his temple.

"You're a man now, Maric but still young. This trip is important. Having personal charge over part of the kingdom will be good experience for when it's your turn to rule but this isn't a game. It's not easy to change someone's opinion once they've made their mind up about you." 

"I'm aware." 

Maric's father shook his head.

"Awareness isn't enough. You need to be able to make the tough choices. If they think you're weak..." 

"Fine."

Maric stood up.

"I had a disagreement with some of your guards last night and I feel like they may not have really taken my words to heart. I think you'll see that I'm willing to do whatever is required to make sure I'm respected." 

The sound of Brayan's heavy sigh followed Maric out of the room.

*********

By the time morning came, Dara was feeling more doubt than hope.

Maybe taking Dara with him had seemed like a good idea when Dara was naked and the prince's cock was unsatisfied but would the prince feel the same way after he found someone more qualified to warm his bed for the night?

The tailor and her assistant dropping by to measure Dara for new uniforms that evening helped to ease his worries.

If he had stuck in the prince's mind long enough for him to arrange that much, maybe there was hope. 

Dara didn't think too deeply into what would happen if the prince did take him with him.

He didn't know and he couldn't let it matter.

There was a part of him that turned its nose up at the idea of being a bed slave, even to a prince but if he never again had to deal with somebody cutting his tendons and then laughing at his inability to use his hands it would be worth it.

Though it was far from the most painful thing they did to him, it was a strong contender for the most annoying.

Tendons pulled apart when they were cut, which made it extremely difficult to get them to heal. 

Still, there was a rock of anxiety that sat deep in Dara's stomach that he couldn't shake no matter how many times he told himself things couldn't possibly get worse.

******** 

On the day the prince was to leave Dara caught a glimpse of blue at the doors to the barracks and was immediately on his feet.

The man who stepped inside was dressed in the uniform of the prince's guard and was freckle faced and mousy haired.

He looked young, maybe even still a teenager. 

He pointed at Dara as soon as he spotted him.

"Dara?" 

Dara nodded.

"Yes, Sir." 

"Prince Maric is waiting for you." 

"Okay, just, ah... let me get my things." 

Dara dashed off through a door, into the sleeping quarters he shared with the other slaves and collected the pile of clothing he'd laid out on his bed.

They were the only things he owned.

A single spare uniform, some underclothes and an old jacket that was a bit too big for him. 

Dara jumped when he turned around and realised the man had followed him into the room. 

The man took the bundle of clothes from Dara, turned them over in his hands so that he could look at them, then shook his head and placed them back down on Dara's bed.

"Don't bother with these. Prince Maric will have new clothes made for you." 

Dara hesitated as the man turned to leave, his eyes fixed on his clothes.

They were all he had.

"Could I at least keep the jacket, maybe?" 

The man shrugged.

"There's no point in taking any of it with you but I'm not going to stop you." 

Dara picked up his jacket and hugged it against his chest.

"Okay. I'm ready." 

[junithys]

Passing Thoughts 10 (it's been a while since I've done one of these...)

Updates

I recently reached 3,000 followers on REALITY - a Vtubing (streaming with an anime avatar) app! It makes me really happy because I've been working really hard on Vtubing, singing, and illustrating each day. I've only been doing doodles and outlines of my art because I don't want to ruin a good sketch with bad digital art skills, so once I finish the ones I plan on drawing for my yearly goal. I'm going to grind a bit of art tutorials and see if I can improve!

Mini Book Reviews

I had planned on reading more, but since I've been pushing myself a lot recently, I have been falling asleep while reading.

The Ebony Tower - John Fowles 

One of my favorite authors, his prose is brilliant and beautiful and has a classic literary quality that not many modern books do. The Ebony Tower is a novella collection. As many great artists do, there is a continuation of Fowles's authorial fixations: twins, Greece, Machiavellian elites, beautiful yet troubled women, and Jungian archetypes. "Poor Koko" story was one of my favorites, it reminded me of a South Korean short film called "Cut" (dir. Park Chan-wook of Oldboy fame), both have a wealthy man's estate broken into and are psychologically tormented rather than robbed. In "Poor Koko", the burglar seems to try to torment the protagonist on account of his wealth, whereas in "Cut", the criminal is a deranged stagehand who is envious that the protagonist got a role in the film that they're working on.

"The Enigma" is another great story about a man who goes missing mysteriously with no prior motive and has a seemingly spotless reputation. The detective questions the victim's family, associates, and is only able to get a grain of truth from the man's son's one-time fling (someone completely unrelated to his personal life). It was interesting psychological galavant, it was difficult to tell if they were acting shading on behalf of the disappearance or because of an inflated sense of pride, like the wife completely denying the possibility of an affair and the children trying to uphold their father's reputation. It was interesting! The last tale that I liked was "Cloud", a surreal bourgeois picnic drinking from the hands of eternal life; a social soliloquy of sheer beauty and melancholy.

The Cat Who Saved Books - Sōsuke Natsukawa

This book reads like an anecdotal children's tale, very similar to "The Little Prince" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) in a sense that the young protagonist goes to avant-garde locations to help protect the integrity of literature. The main character is a hikikomori (in Japanese culture, it is a term used for someone who socially isolates themselves) and after the death of his grandfather, he helps with the business and skips class to read books all day. When a mysterious talking-cat appears, claiming that the boy is the shop's new proprietor, he is whisked away to alternate realities which people try to pervert the sanctity of reading.

I grew of with book-centric fantasy stories like "Wishbone", "Reading Rainbow", and "The Pagemaster" so I have a specific, nostalgic fondness for these kind of stories. While the narrative could be seen as a bit preachy at times, I like stories with a kind of youthful idealism. Like for example, many people think that the TV anime version of "Galaxy Express 999" was too hammer-you-over-the-head with the moral lessons, but I like things like that, perhaps it's because of my upbringing in a very strictly Christian household. 

I think the sentiment that the cat speaks when he says that that every human being is born with empathy may not be true all of the time, but unless a person has a brain condition (i.e. sociopathy and psychopathy), I think that most children are born with a strong sense of compassion and empathy. Believing that empathy is the natural mode of feeling makes a healthier society, rather that claiming that being an "empath" is a special ability. I think it depends on how much of your childhood memories you can retain before the world hurts you. Overall, a very refreshing and simple read.

Torture Princess, Vol. 7 - Keishi Ayasato (warning: spoilers)

Keishi Ayasato does it again with his brilliant story-telling abilities! The intrigue is heightened after two of the main triad of main characters (Kaito and Hina) sacrifice their lives to save the world and Elizabeth is left in the aftermath to carry the torch. This volume was exciting from beginning to end with Ayasato's unusually beautiful light novel prose! Jeanne and Izabella confess their love to one another, most anime-related series only tease same-sex relationships like these, so I was shocked when it became fully canon. A new "torture princess" is introduced ("Alice") who is even more twisted than Elizabeth's former rival, Jeanne, and has a "Made in Abyss"-like relationship with her papa, Carroll, a mysterious magician with a plague doctor mask!

Cat Observations

Kenma plays fetch like a puppy-dog... - He particularly likes doing this with plastic straws and a small bunny plushie that we have, but little Ken will bring his toys up on the bed and struts around with them in his teeth. And if you throw them, he'll chase after them and bring them back onto the bad to show-off some more! Since he loves plastic straws, we have to be careful to have full drinks out in the open or he will pull the straw out and spill the drink.

Kenma makes a boulder-like position when he's doing something bad... - If Ken-Ken is somewhere he knows he's not supposed to be, he goes into a corner and hardens his body in a circular shape, so that it's harder to pick him up. He has also learned how to open doors if they're not shut firmly enough.

Both kittens pull screws out of furniture and pushpins out of walls... - I don't know if it's normal, I only found one result online but... the cats will pull furniture screws and pushpins out of things so that they can play with them. Might be a concern in the future, but we've stayed vigilant with securing things.

Gratitude Segment

Here is where I talk about my personal life a bit, for my entire life I have had a condition bordering on agoraphobia because of an extreme phobia that I have, that prevents me from going to many places. It has been difficult for me because I am naturally an extrovert but I have had trouble socializing because of my crippling phobia, it was even difficult for me to force myself to go to school at times because of the fear that I would see something that would cause a panic attack. To lessen the anxiety, I would always go to familiar places and avoided areas that weren't confirmed as safe beforehand. I went to therapy every month for over ten years, but that only helped very minimally. I have had this phobia since I was four-years-old, due to a traumatic event.

Vtubing has been a godsend to me in many ways, because it combines my love of anime and allows me to socialize in a place where I don't feel petrified or feel that I have to look around to make sure that said area is safe. I wanted to express my gratitude for Vtubing and REALITY, a platform where I can stream with a cute avatar for free. I appreciate it more than words could ever express!