#not the like 2 hour storm delay because lightning or everyone running about in said delay or lifting the cup up while lightning is in the bg

[ratatatastic]

nothing could have prepared me for the cats finally releasing erods gopro footage of him going around being a chaos demon at our cup parade

Panthers Championship Parade | 6.30.24 (x)

[starbudspresents]

Re.Gray 017 - Catastrophe at the Black Order

[ Masterlist ] [Read on AO3] [ Raws ]

Summary: The infamous Komlin incident, part 1. Also some very interesting Q&A with the author.

♦ 7

sfx: bu— [beeeep]

Komui: Muahaha... It's finally finished. ♫

Komui: As I said: Komlin!

sfx: bububuh [beep beep boop]

sfx: pochin! [screen turning on]

Reever: Hey, Director, what's with the big ungainly robot...?

sfx: bubu [boop boop]

sfx: chikooon [fully powered up]

Lenalee: Um....

Lenalee: Komlin's....

17th Night - Catastrophe at the Black Order

♦ 8

sfx: pika! [lightning cracks]

17th Night - Catastrophe at the Black Order

♦ 9

sfx: fuaaaaa [big yawn]

Allen: It's gotten so late...

sfx: gakoon [boat bumps into dock]

sfx: gigigi [Toma hauling on the mooring line]

Toma: Because the storm delayed our train...

Toma: Knowing the Science Division, I'm sure someone will still be awake.

sfx: nemui [sleepy]

Allen: It must be nearly midnight....

Allen: What should we do with the Innocence we've retrieved?

Allen: I'll go see, then!

sfx: dosa [thud]

Allen: !?

♦ 10

Allen: Huh?

Allen: L-Lenalee!?

Allen: What happened to you!?

Allen: !

Reever: Oh... Y-You're back, Allen....

sfx: yura [stagger]

sfx: haa, haa [panting]

Allen: Reever!?

Allen: Look at you... What in the world is going on?

Allen: What?

sfx: dosah [slump]

Reever: R... Run.

Reever: Komlin is coming...

sfx: dodododododododododo [swift, heavy footsteps]

♦ 11

sfx: DOKAN [Komlin the Koolaid Man comes through the wall]

Allen: !?

Reever: It's here.

♦ 12

sfx: zappo-n [hydraulic pistons whine as it attacks]

Allen: Whaa—!?

sfx: zababababa [it slowly gets to its feet]

label: SCIENCE DIVISION

Reever: Damn, it's so bloody quick....

Allen: What is that!?

Allen: WHAT IS THAT!?

Allen: !

sfx: pipipi [high-pitched series of beeps]

Komlin: LO... CATED!

sfx: pi pi [beep beep]

Komlin: LENALEE LEE.

Komlin: ALLEN WALKER.

Komlin: TWO EXORCISTS LOCATED.

♦ 13

Reever: Run for it, Allen!

Reever: It's going after Exorcists!!

sfx: dadadada [them running]

Komlin: SURGERY!!

sfx: buo [rears up]

sfx: doga doga doga [chewing up the stairs behind them up as they run]

sfx: dadadadada [more running]

Allen: Aaaghh it's coming after us!? It's coming after us!!

Allen: Reever, I have no idea what's going on here!!

Reever: Uhh, well, that's.... Komlin... an all-purpose robot the Director built....

sfx: dogagagaga [the sound of their running changes as Komlin gains ground]

Reever: And as you can see, it's running amok!

Allen: How come!?

♦ 14

Reever: So about half an hour ago,

Reever: we were doing unpaid overtime, like always.

? Wonder if I can get myself transferred....

Johnny: It's endless....

Johnny: We could waste our whole lives and never catch up....

Tup: I need a nap so bad I'd even take the dirt kind.1

Reever: Hang in there, boys, we will catch up... eventually....

Lenalee: Coffee, anyone?

Everyone: Yes please! ♥

sfx: gashon gashon gashon [hydraulic footsteps]

sfx: gassha-n [hydraulic settling]

Komui: Gooood morning! Everyone conscious?

Komui: Behold, behold!

♦ 15

Komui: Ta-daaa! ♫

Komui: Allow me to present the saviour of our Science Division: "Komlin"!!

Reever: Hey, Director, what's with the big ungainly robot...?

Reever (side): It's wearing a hat.

Komui: As I said: Komlin!

Komui: I've just finished it, finally!

Komui (small): Magnificent~ ♥ ♥ ♥

Komui: A prototype all-purpose Innocence robot which duplicates my entire mind and personality. ♪2

label: SCIENCE DIVISION

arrow: charm point

Komui: In addition to handling all manner of paperwork, it can also perform surgery on anti-Akuma weapons and provide Accommodator care support.

Komui: It's like a second me!

Komui: It should make the job a breeze!

Komui: Yes, yes, I'm incredible, I know.

Division: Directooor~~ ♥

Division (side): Is this for real?

sfx: hisshih [desperation]

sfx: uiiiii [delicate hydraulic whine as Komlin plucks a mug off Lenalee's tray]

Komui, side: Beg my forgiveness! Sing my praises!

sfx: goku goku goku [gulp gulp gulp]

Lenalee: That's... my brother's coffee....

♦ 16

Lenalee: Komui, can Komlin drink coffee?

sfx: ahahahahaha [ahahahahahaha]

Komui: Don't be absurd, Lenalee.

Komui: However much it may resemble me, it's only a robot.

Komui: Of course it can't—

Komui: drink... coffee...?

sfx: DON [BOOM]

sfx: busuh [Komlin stabs Lenalee in the neck with a comically large syringe]

Lenalee: !?

sfx: dosah [slump]

♦ 17

Komui sfx: KYA—— [SCREECH]

Komui: Lenalee!!!

Komlin: I am... Komlin.

Komlin: I make Exorcists... stronger....

Komui sfx: hawa hawa [umm?? umm??]

Komui small: K-Komlin?

sfx: muki ♥ [brawny ♥]

Komlin: This woman... is an... Exorcist.

Komlin: I must perform augmentative surgery to make her macho!!

Division: Whaaaaat!?!

sfx: dogya-n [kablaaam]

sfx: zu——n [Reever's story has cast a pall over everyone's mood]

Division 1: GYAAA

Division 2: NGUHH

Division 3: KOMLIN NO

sfx: ha— ha— ha— [panting]

Allen & Toma: How inane...!!

Reever: ...And there you have it.

Reever: Sorry it's so stupid.

♦ 18

Allen: Is Lenalee all right?

Allen: She's an Exorcist, yet she couldn't—

Allen: Hm?

Reever: Komlin put her to sleep with a syringe of something.

sfx: goh [Reever lets his head fall back against the wall with a thump]

Reever: Ahhh.... Serves us right for wanting things to be easier on us.

Mana, past: Welcome back, Allen.

Reever: You Exorcists and Finders are always risking your lives on the frontlines.

Reever: So, sorry.

Reever: And welcome back.

Allen: Mana....

Reever: Allen?

♦ 19

Allen: Hm... Oh, yes?

Reever: What's with you? Did you get injured on your mission?

Reever: You can report that to me.

Reever: ?

Allen: No no, I'm fine!

Allen: I'm—

Allen: I'm home.

Allen side: haha... [haha...]

Division: Hallooo!! Are you all right!?

Allen: It's the Director and the others!

Johnny: Foreman, quick, over here!

Tup, small: We'll catch you!

Komui: Oh, Allen and Toma are back? You two as well, quickly now....

sfx: don! [bam!]

Komui: Lenaleeeee, are you still slim!?

sfx: jita bata jita bata [Division members milling and fretting]

Reever: Calm down, all of you...

? It's here!

♦ 20

sfx: go go go go go go [Komlin dragging its huge body into the central hall]

Division: FIRE!!

sfx: gashakon! [elaborate sound of a whole cannon extending from the hovervator and clicking into place]

Johnny: Don't underestimate the egghead brigade!!3

sfx: kachih [double click]

Komui: !!

Komui: No shooting my Komlin!!!

Johnny: !?

♦ 21

Allen: Ngahhhh!

sfx: dorurururu [wild gatling firing]

sfx: don don don [bullets impacting one after the other]

Division 1: Hold him down!

Reever: The hell are you doing!!

Reever side: You wanna kill us!?

sfx: doka baki goh dofuh [Division brawling with Komui]

sfx: ha— ha— ha— [panting]

Division 2: Komlin—

Division 3: Tie him up!

Toma: A traitor in our midst....

sfx: hyuoooo [wind whooshing over the abyss]

Komui: Komlin...

sfx: gusuh [sob]

Komui: It seems Allen's anti-Akuma weapon is damaged.

Komui: Fix it, please.

Allen: Huh?

sfx: pipi [high-pitched double beep]

Komlin: There's

Komlin: damage....

♦ 22

Allen: !

Komlin: Triage priority established!

sfx: chiko-n [whirr as it gears itself up]

Komlin: Top priority SURGical treatment FOR Allen Walker, SERIOUSLY INJURED!!4

sfx: gashih [Komlin attempts to grab Allen, gets him by the foot]

Reever: Wh—

sfx: gun! [it yanks Allen towards itself]

Reever: Allen!

Reever: It's dragging Allen into its operating room!!

label: OPERATING ROOM

sfx: vi-n [smooth high whirr of the door opening to receive him]

Komui: Now, Reever! Get Lenalee over here while it's preoccupied with its prey!!

Allen: Eeeeeek, where does that door go!?

sfx: zuzazazaza [Allen's fingernails digging into the stone as he resists being dragged]

Reever: Is there no low you won't sink to!?

Komlin: Surgery ♫ Surgery ♫ Surgery, in any case ♫

sfx: gacha gacha gacha ["surgical tools" clacking and clattering in the hands of half a dozen masked and gowned mini-Komuis]

♦ 23

Reever: Ooh, a new anti-Akuma weapon!

sfx: bah [Allen stares at his impending doom, teeth gritted]

Allen: Nnn...

sfx: vun [his Innocence powers up]

Allen: Innocence: initialize!!!

sfx: fuh [spitting sound; Komui blows dart at Allen]

sfx: pusu [dart hits home in Allen's neck]

Reever: Allen—

Allen: Hwassisnow?

sfx: biri biri biri [wibble wobble]

Allen: M' goin' all numb...

sfx: batah [flops over limply]

Toma: Sir Walker!!

Reever: DIRECTOR!!!

Komui: But but but if you shoot my Komlin with that it'll... it'll...!!

Division: He's got a blowgun!

Division: Confiscate it!

sfx: jita bata jita bata [Division brawling with Komui]

Division: Grow the hell up, Director!!

♦ 24

Allen: R— Reeverrr....

Reever: !

sfx: viiin [doors begin to close as the mini-Komuis drag Allen inside]

Allen: Tage Lenalee an' run, pleesh...

sfx: zuru zuru [his heels scraping over the lintel]

Reever: Allen—

sfx: i-n [door continuing to whine shut]

Allen: Furry.5

sfx: gashi [Reever makes a leap for him and catches the tail of his coat just as the doors shut completely]

Reever: ALLENNNNN!!!

Komlin: Allen Walker successfully retrieved.

sfx: chi-n [door will not budge]

♦ 25

sfx: guwah [Komlin suddenly stands up, leaving Reever hanging from Allen's coattails in middair...]

sfx: pateh [...and Toma splat on the ground]

Reever: Ahh!

Reever: Damn, it's after Lenalee now!

Komui: No, not macho, I beg of you!!!

sfx: dodododododododododo [swift, heavy footsteps]

Komlin: Exorcist Lenalee Lee.

Komlin: Operation required.

sfx: pachi [Lenalee's eyes blink open]

♦ 26

Komui's Lab "Lounge", Vol. 1

Q1. Your characters hail from all over the world, but what language do they communicate in?

A. English, the universal tongue. And yes, Kanda speaks English too.6

Q2. Who is the travelling rabbit that sometimes shows up in your work? Does it have a name?

A. That's an animal version I made of my manager Y-shi. Its name is Yosshii. I originally doodled it for a one-shot, but took a shine to it, so now I slip it in here and there (to annoy Y-shi). I'd love to make an Akuma version someday, perhaps. [looks to the distant horizon]

FOOTNOTES

Q3. What does the title "D.Gray-man" mean?

A. It's a word I came up with on my own, and it has a number of meanings, some perhaps to do with Allen and some perhaps with other characters. Before I thought of it, the series' previous tentative title was "dolls", and prior to that "kuronowa" or "ZONE".

A "dirt nap" is slang for lying "asleep" in one's grave. The literal translation is "If I can't go to sleep right here and now, I don't mind if I never wake up again", which deliberately doesn't quite make sense, but implies that he's so miserably tired that he'd rather flat-out die than stay awake one more second. Relatable, but... be careful what you wish for.

[ ♠ ]

He doesn't explain how exactly Innocence is involved, just lumps the adjectives "Innocence" and "prototype" and "all-purpose" together and lets us guess. It could mean that Innocence was used as a power source during development in some way, or it could mean that there's literally Innocence inside Komlin right now, giving it agency beyond what its creator intended (much as it did for Lala, a similar artificial construct).

[ ♠ ]

Kanji: 科学班 kagakuhan "Science Division"

Furigana: インテリ interi, short for "intelligentsia", slang for "geek, nerd, egghead, brainiac", etc.

Basically "we nerds can fuck you up too".

[ ♠ ]

Variable caps may come up again, so I'll explain that these are used when the dialogue switches jerkily back and forth between hiragana and katakana. It almost always has to do with a malfunctioning robot or AI of some kind, and replicates the way in which volume and tone fluctuate between words.

[ ♠ ]

This here is why I opted not to include honourifics in my translation. By saying this, Hoshino implies that the script I'm translating from Japanese to English is actually already an English-to-Japanese translation and dub in and of itself, which means I'm just undubbing it. The "original" English would not, of course, have used elements of the Japanese language or culture such as honourifics, so... much as I personally love them and always preserve them when translating anything set in Japan (or other Japanese-speaking setting), I couldn't justify keeping them in this time. Alas.

This is a tiny tribute to the first translation I ever read, more than fifteen years ago. This panel made me laugh so hard I made a LiveJournal icon out of it, which I still have and still treasure. Forever grateful for those first fan-translators; I wonder if any of them are still around.

[ ♠ ]

That said, if you ever want to know what honourifics anyone is using, or what first-person pronouns they're using, or literally anything else for that matter, by all means ask! I'm always more than happy to directly convey context details I haven't been able to include in my translations.

[ ♠ ]

[shallowgenepool]

Formerly Unanswered Questions

I blame Tumblr..

* * 1 * *

He'd not been sure, what to expect, that first night on the ship as it left the ruins of Asgard behind them. Everything had happened so fast, he hadn't thought much beyond getting his people to safety, let alone what was going to happen once they were out of harm's (Hela's) way.

So it was nothing feigned on Thor's face once he sat down in the cargo bay that had been converted to a mess hall and been served up a meal if not fit for a king, at least ample fare for his people.

"Where did this all come from?" Thor asked with some incredulity.

His brother shot Thor a sharp look and rolled his eyes.

"You think I would allow my- Our people to starve? To leave the realm with naught but the clothes on their back? To have them beg for sustenance from strangers?" Loki all but demanded.

"Well no, but-"

"I know you think I did so many things wrong when I play-acted as the All-father." Loki said quietly. "Probably coddled them too much. But they have lost enough, pride is about all they have left to them and I will not see them lose that as well."

Thor felt a lump settle in his throat as he looked about him, all his people, for once quiet and subdued, gazing in their direction.

"Their saviour." Thor muttered quietly.

"Ass." Loki murmured back and elbowed him none too gently in the ribs.

* * 2 * *

The first time he stepped in bird shit, it should have tipped him off.

Actually, the first time he walked the lower deck of the space vessel and smelt something decidedly farm-like should have been the first clue.

It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise, but it was.  Thor blinked his one good eye at the sight in front of him, his eyebrow raising a little higher as he looked over to where his brother was, sat down, as if it were a common thing to do, on a milking stool of all things, with Volstagg's youngest perched on his knee, showing the girl how to correctly milk a goat.

"Loki?" Thor queried, his brow furrowed.

"Hmm? Oh, it's you." Loki said matter-of-factly. "Took you long enough to find your way down here."

"Goats? How? Are those chickens?" Thor asked, his jaw gaping a little. "Wait.. Are those father's ravens?" He felt himself choke a little on the emotion of seeing them still alive.

"I told you, brother. I would not have our people lose everything." Loki said, his face looking pinched and closed off, even as he held his hands about Hilde's to show her what to do with the Goat's udders.

"But when?" Thor asked, still puzzled by his surroundings.

"Why did you think I was delayed in arriving at the Bifrost? Someone had to think of what would happen after we evacuated everyone." Loki said a little sharply.

The rebuke of 'Because you surely hadn't' rang out clearly, even if the words weren't spoken aloud.

"But the ravens?" Thor asked, even as one flew over and landed on his shoulder, before proceeding to shit down his back.

Loki chuckled. "I must admit I had grown fond of them." He stated and waved his hand in Thor's direction.

A quick glance was all it took to see the mess had gone and Huginn or perhaps Muninn flew off with an offended 'kraa'.

"Little bastard seems to have grown fond of you as well." Thor stated with an answering chuckle.

"Good breeding, I'm sure." Loki said with an offended sniff and turned back to his instruction of Hilde.

* * 3 * *

"What do you think you are doing?" Thor heard Loki screech as he entered the makeshift Throne-room-cum-training area of their vessel.

He didn't even bother to look away from the young girl training in from of him to his brother's direction, as the man was swiftly at the side of Hilde, yanking the short sword out of her hands and throwing it with little care in Thor's direction.

"Teaching her to fight. Obviously." The former Valkyrie snarked back at Loki.

"We are going to Midgard. She'll not need to fight." Loki said plainly. "I will not have you turning her into another Sif." Loki ended with a hiss.

Thor felt a pang of guilt, at not knowing what had happened to one of his oldest friends. It was bad enough the others had died so swiftly, so senselessly, but to not know of her fate..

"Better that, than you trying to teach her your.. tricks." The woman stated a little mulishly and went to pick up the sword. Only for it to turn into what looked to be an adder.

"Loki!" Thor growled out from his makeshift throne.

"What?" His brother asked, eyes widened and looking for all intents and purposes innocent of any wrongdoing. "There is nothing wrong with my.. as you say.. tricks!" Loki snapped out.

"Enough." Thor stated, his fist thumping down hard onto the armrest, with small crackles of lightning sparking from the contact.

"Careful brother, the last time you lost your temper, we had to sit in the dark for three hours until I repaired the blown conduit." Loki snarked.

For all their antagonism a moment ago, the former Valkyrie snorted at his brother's comment, before picking up the now perfectly normal sword up off of the ground.

"You will teach her to defend herself." Loki said imperiously. "That is all."

The woman gave Loki a dark look and turned to Thor.

"When she is older, then she can decide if she wants to learn more." Thor decreed, with Loki giving a wide smirk at his judgement. "Until then, I expect you to make sure she is on her best behaviour, Brother."

With a sign of his current level of maturity, Loki gave Thor the finger.

* * 4 * *

"They what?" Thor shouted.

"Mhmm." Loki muttered. "From what I have managed to discover from my.. enquiries.. Apparently your friends decided to declare war upon each other whilst you and the good Doctor were otherwise disposed."

"No. This is madness surely?" Thor said with some uncertainty. "And these Sokovia Accords?"

"Well, from what I can tell.. It would seem Asgard will not be as welcome here on Midgard as you thought, Brother." Loki said flatly. "What now?"

"I know not. We need answers. Until then our people must not set foot down there." Thor commanded.

"Then we shall need to find the Captain." Loki stated with conviction. "He will help us resolve this."

"And why him over the Man of Iron?" Thor asked, his interest piqued.

"The Captain is more likely to tell us the truth." Loki said plainly. "And he's less likely to be an ass about it."

Thor caught himself nodding and quickly schooled his expression into a frown.

"Besides, brother. It's clear which side of the battle you would have fought on if you had had the chance." Loki stated with a smirk and Thor chose not to refute his claims. "Any idea where we need to start looking?"

"Nay. He appears to have gone to ground. How is Heimdall?" Thor asked in a quieter tone.

"Still yet to awake. The destruction of Asgard may have impaired his gift for good." Loki replied. "I shall have to try my hand at a little scrying."

"Or we try and contact Doctor Strange." Thor said with some trepidation.

"NO!" Loki shouted back, his face contorted in rage. "We will have no further dealings with that.. that charlatan."

"Loki.." Thor said with a huff. "I know what he did was wrong."

"He had me fall into nothingness." Loki said a little brokenly. "Never again. Do you hear me Odinson? Never again. We shall find the Captain on our own."

"As you will it, Brother." Thor said, sighing deeply.

"I'll leave you to annoy your subjects." Loki ground out. "It seems I still have much work to do." He finished, Loki's cape swirled a little as stormed from the room with renewed purpose.

* * 5 * *

"It's the only way." Loki stated plainly.

"Brother, no. See reason." Thor all but begged.

"The only way to make sure our people survive is for me to provide the diversion and keep the Titan distracted." Loki replied, his hand catching his brother about the back of the neck and pulling him forwards so their foreheads could rest upon each other. "Don't make this more difficult than it has to be."

Thor scowled and held his brother for as long as he was able, before the man squirmed in his arms.

"Enough." Loki said.

Thor watched as his brother placed his hands together, one atop the other, before slowly pulling them apart and watched it somewhat awed silence as the Tessaract appeared in the space between.

"Is that.." Thor began.

"Yes." He looked at Thor and quirked a brow. "What? You thought I would leave it behind?"

"No, but-"

Loki tossed it in Thor's direction, before making the same motions with his hands, this time the Casket of Ancient Winters appeared.

"Dear Gods, Loki. What didn't you steal from father's vault?" Thor said with a small bark of a laugh.

"Hmm? I took anything of value for our people. This though, this I need." Loki stated with finality, his hands turning blue with the prolonged contact.

"Loki, my Brother."

"Wish me luck, for I fear I shall need it." Loki said with a small smile, before opening a portal in front of him and stepping through.

* * * * *

"And then what? You just let him run off?" Tony snarked, his tone making Thor want to cheerfully backhand the man through the wall.

"Thor, he could still be out there, somewhere." Steve commented as he laid a comforting hand upon Thor's shoulder.

"Unlikely, but thank you my friend." Thor said in a sombre tone.

"Good riddance if you ask me." Tony quipped and Thor rose from his makeshift seat, intent on crushing the annoying man's head with his bare hands.

"Don't." Steve said as he rose as well. "He's not worth it."

Thor noted Steve had said the last part loud enough for all to hear.

"Keep out of this, Rogers." Tony said. "That bastard brought Thanos to our door. Again. Anything that happens to him is richly deserved."

"He saved our people. He bought us time. At least give him that." Thor said in a somewhat defeated tone.

"Whatever. We have bigger issues." Tony said with finality as flipped open what looked to be a small electronic device that activated to bring up a 3-D schematic of the area underground they were holed up in. "We are going to need a miracle if we are going to get out of this one in one piece."

They only had a moment, before the building shook again, pieces of masonry rained down around them.

"He's got them all, bar that, right?" Steve asked, gesturing to the Tessaract that Thor still had about him.

"Yes my friend, and without it, he cannot harness the full power of the Gauntlet and the Stones." Thor replied, his hand tightening around the cube.

"If we super-charged the Tessaract, it might be possible to disrupt the other Stones." Tony mused aloud. "We'd just need to find a way to fry that sucker."

Thor looked to the cube, then to his friends.

"You think it could work?" Thor asked, seeking some confirmation.

"It's a slim chance, but we don't have many options, big guy." Tony replied.

"So be it." Thor stated and began to walk towards the bunker doors, small sparks coming off of his armour as he did so.

"What the hell?" Steve asked. "Thor?"

"For the good of my people and.. my friends. If I do not make it back, may we meet in Valhalla." Thor said and gave a small bow to his friends.

He didn't stop walking, or look back, ignoring their calls and not wanting to see their faces. Looking up, he saw the Titan, the creature's feet caused the ground the tremble as he lashed out at something, taking a step back.

Intrigued, Thor followed the movement and once he realised what it was a small smile broke out upon his lips. His power crackled about him as he concentrated and it caused the Tessaract to pulse and flare erratically, drawing the attention of the Mad Titan.

"You." Thanos rumbled.

"Me." Thor replied with utmost conviction as he forced more and more of his power into the cube.

"Foolish Asgardian, you will fail." Thanos stated and stretched out a hand towards him.

"Possibly." Thor said plainly as the Titan again swiped at the annoyance buzzing around him, taking cheap shots where it was able.

"Nice to see I'm not the only one he takes great pains to annoy." Thor stated loudly with a smirk as the Tessaract now pulsed with a faster and faster tempo.

"Thor Odinson, is that any way to speak of your saviour?" He heard Loki carp, as the cube flared one last time, batheing them all in brilliant light.

[mendelsonacademy]

Post by : Mario Nowogrodzki

Note from Mendelson Consulting | Mario Nowogrodzki, CPA/CITP, Founder and Principal:

This month, we bring you an article by one of our QuickBooks consultants, Nikki Gomez. The story of the longest game in NFL history and how it related directly to a successful QuickBooks Enterprise Solutions data file repair job.

From the Desk of… Nikki Gomez, Business Technology Consultant, Mendelson Consulting

Mendelson Consulting team members are often assigned projects to make corrections in a client’s QuickBooks Enterprise Solutions data file in preparations of a new file creation. This type of work is normally scheduled on weekends while businesses are closed. The client uploads the file to us, we work on it during the weekend and return the file back to the client before the beginning of business on Monday morning. I started working on the customer’s file the first weekend of September, but was unable to complete the corrections over one weekend. Therefore, I scheduled with the client to continue working on the file the following weekend. But I forgot that weekend = football during this time of year.

My fiancé and I purchase season tickets every year to see the Miami Dolphins football team play at the Hardrock Stadium in Miami Gardens. We are diehard Miami Dolphins fans. We were definitely excited that football season was here. “Fins up, go Miami go!” We had already gone to their preseason game and won against the Atlanta Falcons 34-7.

The season opening game was scheduled for Sunday, September 9th, 2018. This happened to be the same weekend I scheduled myself to continue working on the client’s data file. What was I going to do? I really wanted to go to the season’s first real game, but I needed to get the file completed for return to the client by Monday morning. Of course, I began working on the file as soon as I received it Friday evening. I worked through the night into Saturday morning. I took a nap and continued working on the file all day Saturday into the early morning of Sunday. And just like that, football Sunday had arrived. I was not done with the file. I was battling with myself on whether I should go to the game or stay home and watch it on TV while I worked. I thought to myself: why can’t I do both? Can’t I work on their file at the stadium during the game? No.. not a great idea, I thought. But I could work on the file in the car on the way to and from the stadium and while tailgating.

I had figured it out! I worked in the car for the hour drive to the parking lot tailgate. While everyone else grilled food and partied in the parking lot, I was sitting on the trunk of my car with cold soda, a hot dog and my laptop, and I worked diligently on the file. Finally, it was game time! Unfortunate that I wasn’t able to bring my laptop into the stadium, but that didn’t matter too much to me because I was ready to take a break and enjoy the game with my fiancé. Little did I know this game would become the longest NFL game in history.

If you’re from Miami, you know the weather can be unpredictable. It can be sunny and hot one minute and feel like a tropical storm is coming through the next. Most days we have sun showers that last minutes and then the humidity kicks in. On this day, the sky was dark and cloudy to the north; the sky lit up with lightning occasionally. To the south the sky was painted a beautiful blue and the sun shined bright through the small clouds. The game-time temperature was 89 degrees, heat index of 99 degrees and a humidity level of 63%. It was hot! My fiancé even joked with me saying, “This is perfect weather. I bet the Tennessee Titans are going to cramp up in this weather and we’ll have the advantage. We’re going to watch them fall like flies today.” As they lined up for a first down in the first quarter of the game right before our quarterback Ryan Tannehill said “Hike!”, thunder roared through the stadium. It gave us chills! “BOOM! The Titans are spooked! Miami weather is no joke! Get ‘em Miami!”, I yelled in the crowd.

The stadium was packed with Dolphins fans and the game was going great. The crowd was cheering and we were in the lead. It was close to halftime when all of a sudden a referee announces that the game will have to be delayed for the time being due to the lightning. “What does that even mean?”, I asked. “We’re in Miami, this is normal weather. How long is this going to take? I have to get back to work.” We weren’t going to just leave. What real fan would do that? There was plenty of time to work later.

We sat in the stadium for almost two hours waiting for the game to start again. It was almost 4 o’clock before the weather delay ended. The crowd cheered as the players returned to the field. However, that excitement was short lived. There was a second weather delay about halfway through the third quarter. “Should we leave?”, my fiancé asked. “No way. We’re in the lead. Let’s just wait it out.”, I said. This time it lasted over 2 hours.

When the second and final weather delay ended, and the players returned to the field, we decided to watch the remainder of the game in the parking lot with our tailgating friends. This way I could get back to work and watch the last bit of the game. The parking lot was bare because many fans left the game during the first delay. There I was, sitting on the trunk of my car with my laptop. As people walked past us they asked what I was doing. “Working.”, I said. One person even yelled, “Put that thing away and celebrate!” The final score was 27-20 for a Dolphins win. What an exciting game and awesome season opening!

This game was interesting to say the least. While we sat in the stands talking to other fans during the delays, we met the mother of running back Dion Lewis, who made his first touchdown with the Titans in the third quarter. She wore her Titans jersey proudly and we even cheered for Lewis along with his mother, giving her a high-five after he scored.

We watched a young boy run onto the field and bolt across it during the second delay. Security and other stadium officials had a hard time catching up to him. We even caught some of it on video.

They honored the late Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School coach, Aaron Feis, who risked his life to protect the students during the mass shooting that happened earlier this year. It brought tears to our eyes as we watched his photo being displayed on the big screen.

We watched a young man propose to his girlfriend across from where we were sitting. We were even on the fan cam for a short second. The stadium rewarded the remaining fans by allowing us to sit in the lower sections for the completion of the game.

But the most exciting part of that day for me was reading the message from the Dolphins that stated, “Titans v. Dolphins – Now the longest game in NFL history, beating Bears v. Ravens 11/17/13 (5 hrs., 16 min.) – Thank you fans for being a part of history!” The game started off as a regular 1:00 o’clock game and soon became a night game ending after 8:00 o’clock. All of the NFL games for that day finished before this game. I was able to work and enjoy watching my team play a great game. We were a part of history that day and it was totally worth it.

Nikki Gomez

Mendelson Consulting is the expert on QuickBooks data management, fixing QB file performance issues, and identifying data damage and the best path to remediation.

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