#not rll idc but still

[kingisuu]

my art struggles :)

i have been struggling with art as of like december i think?

Let me tell you like, around last year i was rll happy drawing, like i would just draw pictures i thought looked good without giving much thought to my process and at that time i just thought i would improve over time. After like a while, i thought that i needed to change things up because i was tired of how my pieces looked.

After draining dry my friends for advice and critiques, i decided to search up on youtube. Up to that point, i only really followed art tutorials that my friends gave me and nothing else. But then i discovered a lot of art youtubers like Ethan Becker or Samdoesarts, basically the current youtube art stars. I really liked their content and i learned a lot by them. But thats where like my problem started appearing.

Like i undestand those videos are very helpful for people who are completely clueless about drawing, but those videos pressured me a lot. They were making pointers like using references ( i didnt even know what a reference was ), thinking about the silluette, separating the body in specific shapes and all around adding more and more rules to something i thought i had somewhat started to figure out. I’m not in any way saying these tips aren’t important, but like after knowing these things, all i could do was find those mistakes in my artwork.

So what i did, was that i worked on everything at once and tried to implement everything into my art style. Long story short, it didn’t work at all and it resulted in me not being able to finish any piece i created, because i just didnt have any attatchment to it. Every sketch i made felt like miles away from the previous one and together with school and my desire to want a consistent art style, i kinda broke down for a while. At these times most people would take a break from art and thats what i did, believing that what i had was art block. In reality, the breaks i took didnt work and i kept drawing the same and still judging it very harshly.

Just a heads up, i didn’t just take advice from just 1 or 2 youtubers, i took from like 6 , everyone with a drastically different art style, which didn’t blend in with the previous one. I was thinking of the silluette of a character while at the same time wanting to do realistic shading to make it look more 3D, as well trying to implement as many colors as possible, and the cherry on top is that i started to paint, which meant i had to do so much rendering to the point that the piece looked completely different from the sketch and not good at all. Im not saying what i was aiming for was impossible, but i am saying that it was difficult for me.

To be honest, i still don’t think i can give up my harsh judgement to my art. Even when i just sit and draw out of my head i never like the piece and think its not good enough. It feels like im doing too stylized work and that it will seem like i haven’t improved at all from like my early days of digital art, where the pieces were horrible. Saying that, i have tried finding an in between with semi-realism, but i didnt like that either.

Its safe to say that the critique system on my art has been destroyed and i don’t know what is right for me or what is wrong. I have thought about giving it up, but to be honest when i sit down and look at art works, it just makes me want to draw even more, so yeah it seems like im not going anywhere lol.

This is already a very long post but idc, here’s also a persona drawing without using any references. Anyways, what i wanted to say and i will see how this develops from here