#not really sure what I'm even doing anymore

[alessiathepirate]

Squid Game

SMILE FOR ME: Hwang In-ho/Frontman/Oh Young-il x fem!reader

Summary: Manipulation - that was his greatest weapon...

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I may have made while I wrote this short story.

Warnings: swearing, referenced PTSD and/or trauma, emotional manipulation, referenced death, referenced betrayal, heavily implied obsession, (Gi-hun and reader are besties, since the writer aka me loves him too much to not baby him)

●●●

She doesn't smile anymore...

That was In-ho's first thought when he met her in person for the first time.

And oddly enough - since he played a pretty big part in the cause of that - he really missed that: her smile.

There used to be something about it - something special.

In-ho had watched and sat through his fair share of games; and during those every player's positivity, hope and smile disappeared after the very first game. They acknowledged the consequences of failure - and accepted the fact that there's nothing they could possibly do about it. Even if they found some allies or friends, they never smiled again. Not really. Only with those false, fake ones.

But not her.

They were different - her and Gi-hun, especially.

Even after red light, green light; after the dalgona; after the tug of war -- they still smiled, especially with each other. They sat down to eat with their group and they shared stories, the old and fun ones, and those could make their teammates chuckle.

In reality, In-ho thought, it must've been to keep themselves and the others calm. To give them a false sense of security and hope.

In-ho couldn't exactly say when was the exact time she stopped smiling. The marble game; player 067's death or player 218's betrayal... It didn't really matter - the when. What mattered was the fact that she changed - and In-ho didn't like, even though he should've.

There was still a small shine in her eyes whenever she talked to Gi-hun and Gi-hun alone, but it wasn't the same...

It wasn't the same at all.

●●●

"Gi-hun..." her voice made In-ho turn slightly, as quietly as possible, so he could watch their interaction play out. "I'll take over. You need to get some sleep."

In-ho watched as she sat down next to Gi-hun, her thigh pushing his, so he would get a move on. During moments like these, she almost looked like the old her -- cheery and playful; still, it was only almost.

"You don't have to. I'll keep watch, I'm not tired anyway. You can go back to sleep."

She pushed his thigh again; and even though her lips didn't curl upwards into a smile, her eyes seemed happy.

"You are still a terrible liar, Seong Gi-hun..." her hands pushed his chest, so he would move. "Now go before I make you."

Gi-hun reacted the same way she did - he didn't smile, but the muscles around his eyes softened. He seemed calm, almost safe as he looked at her.

"Promise me you'll wake me if anything happens."

Her lips twitched.

"I promise." she punched his shoulder playfully. "Now go."

Gi-hun got up painfully slowly, as if to give her time to change her mind, and then did what she said. He lied down, pulled the covers over himself and after a few moments, he closed his eyes.

In-ho watched her for a while. He witnessed how all the tension and stress disappeared from her shoulders when she thought no one was watching. He saw how she let the sadness she was truly feeling appear on her face.

She seemed oddly calm.

In-ho let the minutes go by, he waited patiently until he was sure no one else was awake; and then he walked up to her, letting her shake in fear from the sudden presence behind her.

"Young-il." she whispered as she let out a long breath. "You scared me."

"My apologies." he said, almost frowning at how she immediatelly went back into her protective shell - she didn't feel comfortable around him, unlike the others, and In-ho didn't like that at all. "Would you mind some company? I can't sleep, we might as well keep watch together."

She looked up at him, clearly contemplating what she should say.

"Be my guest." she said in the end.

He sat down next to her, and watched as she pulled her feet further away from him. Silence began to set in - but In-ho wouldn't let it win. This was the first time he found a chance to talk to her alone, and he wouldn't waste it.

"You and Gi-hun seem to be close."

She turned to look at him in the darkness as if she could figure out his real intentions.

"We are." she said. "I've known him for years. I don't understand how it affects you though."

In-ho almost smiled at the accusatory tone.

"I'm just making conversation." he said, trying to sound kind. "And I noticed that you only talk to him and no one else."

She seemed irritated - ready to curse him out, to tell him to shut up or wake Gi-hun up, so he could come to her rescue.

In the end she just scoffed.

"I don't have much to talk about these days."

"Or smile about." In-ho added and this time he let himself smile at the look on her face. He might as well test her - her and her trust, the holes on her shell. "You seemed ready to sacrifice yourself - during the first game. The same goes for Gi-hun." he tilted his head slightly. "I think I just don't understand what you're doing here. You won the previous game. You have all that money to spend... Yet you two are here; and you seem unhappy."

She swallowed and then took a deep breath. She didn't know what she should say and how she should say it. She was completely at his curiousity's mercy, which didn't seem to have a filter - and she couldn't find the right words for an answer.

In-ho's lips curled upwards and he chuckled before she could come up with an answer. His laugh confused her even more.

"I'm sorry." he continued. "You just don't seem to trust me very much."

She pointed at his jacket's number without hesitation, then at the 'O' sign - the sign what previously had been 'X'. She looked him in the eyes before answering.

"The last 001 I trusted turned out to be a liar and an asshole." she pulled her legs up and hugged her knees to her chest. "So I apologize for not trusting you. Besides, your name is Young-il and you are player 001?" she scoffed. "Either the guards have a great sense of humor and they gave you that number, or you're a bad guy with zero creativity."

In-ho wanted to laugh. Really laugh. Even though her trust-issues made her unable to have fun, they made her more fun.

What would be the right reaction? Half a chuckle maybe, plus a small smile.

Then, In-ho waited. He waited for her facade to break - and it did. Because even though she changed, she still had characteristics every human had -- well, most had --: regret.

He waited for her too feel remorse. He waited until she was drowning in it for being too harsh. He waited and didn't say anything.

"That big pile of bloody cash is in a motel room." she said suddenly as she continued to hug her knees.

"What?"

"You wanted to know about the money. Well, it's in a dimly lit motel room." she explained.

In-ho chuckled. "Really?"

"Yeah." she nodded, but this time there was something about her expression: as if she just admitted to herself that the picture of a fortune in a motel room is oddly funny. "As for the sacrifice part - there's nothing wrong with helping others."

"I'm not saying there is." In-ho explained. "It's just that most people in here are selfish. They would choose to save themselves instead of others." he stayed quiet for a while, letting his words sink in. "But you and Gi-hun still choose to save them. All of them."

She tilted her head.

"I asked myself if I'd like to be a rich murderer or a dead person who chose to save others." she said, her tone turning sad. "I chose the latter." In-ho's lips twitched from trying not to smile, when he noticed that she stretched her legs, no longer being careful around him. "I guess I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was to ever cause someone's death. Besides, everyone here has someone to go back home to; I don't. Gi-hun's here and my only other friend isn't even really my friend." she shrugged. "So then why not help?"

Her knee almost touched his.

Trust. That was what he wanted.

"People who think they don't matter are the ones who matter the most." In-ho looked at her. "Are you sure that playing hero is the best decision you can make?"

She shook her head. "What do you mean?"

In-ho let out a fake chuckle.

"You have people who love you, who think you are important. I'm sure of it." he leaned forward. "And heroes, even if they succeed in the end, don't usually have an easy journey. There are losses - and consequences."

"You think I don't know that?" she started to get angry again. "What do you know about loss?"

"Everything. Sadly." he sounded more honest than he intended to be - and she noticed it too.

Regret. What a beautiful human emotion.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry." she said as she looked at him with remorse in her eyes - her body language showed no fear or protection. She gave up, she showed him the real her. "I didn't know."

"No need. You couldn't have known." he gave her a weak smile - he showed weakness so she would do it too. "Although when I sat down I thought we would speak about something more... fun."

The muscles in her cheeks twitched and In-ho knew she was so close to smiling, yet she held it back.

She looked around the room, looked at the beds and the people who were sleeping in them. In-ho followed her gaze.

"Well then..." she began, not yet knowing what she'd say in the end. "You are a good fighter. I mean you beat up two guys without even lifting a finger." the compliment sounded nice coming from her. "Police or military?"

In-ho wanted to grin.

"Good deduction. Both, actually. And thank you."

"I have a friend who's a cop. Well, I don't really know if he is my friend, but he seems nice regardless." she intertwined her fingers. "Next time I see him, if I see him at all; I'll have to ask him if he knows some... ancient martial arts too."

He just chuckled.

"Who knows... He might surprise you."

They stared into the darkness for a second, since one of the other players started to move around. In the end it turned out to be just a woman, who was having a nightmare - she soon sat up in bed while breathing heavily.

"If we're talking about skills..." In-ho began, so he could get her attention once again. "You are surprisingly good at ddakji."

Her lips twitched and he knew he wasn't too far from getting that smile.

"Yeah, I am." she admitted. "I'm much better than Gi-hun at the very least. You should've seen him playing against that recruiter guy. He was horrible! Absolutely horrible!"

"And you?"

"I beat him almost always. He must've been... quite annoyed."

Suddenly her lips curled upwards into an honest, teasing smile. The muscles under her eyes twitched, as if they have forgotten how to act during a smile.

In-ho found himself smiling too. It was like going back in time and seeing her old self.

Sure, this smile wasn't that pure and innocent, but it was a start. A pretty good start.

"You know, Young-il, I wish I could say the same, but you were God-awful at paengi chigi..." she giggled and pushed her fist against her teeth to not be too loud.

"Yeah, I was. It's not one of my proudest moments."

She continued to laugh and by the look on her face she herself couldn't tell what was so funny. But once she started to giggle there was no going back - years or surpressed emotions came running out as small wrinkles of joy appeared on her face.

In-ho joined her and as the final test, he put his hand on her knee, then he leaned in.

"Quiet, you'll wake up the others..." he said through a small laugh.

She let his hand rest on her leg as she tried to quiet down.

"I'm sorry. I don't even know what's so funny - but damn I needed this."

Got you, he thought as she leaned back, resting her bodyweight on her hands, while letting his touch linger.

Despite everything, all that change, she was still the same person with the same weak points on her shell. In-ho knew them all - he had watched her play her very first game.

"I missed your smile..." the sentence rolled off his tounge before he could've stopped himself.

She giggled, not noticing the major give-away on his perfect mask.

"Careful..." she warned him and for a moment In-ho thought she put the small inconsistencies together -- but then she continued: "I might think you're flirting with me."

"I wouldn't even dream of it." he said; realizing she let her vigilance leave her completely with a grin.

"Good." she sighed. "Now tell me, is there anything else you absolutely suck at?"

In the end In-ho got what he wanted - he always does. Trust, honesty - smiles... It didn't matter.

He had her on the hook too, her and everyone else, and there was no amount of doubt what would be able to ruin his perfectly painted picture about himself and the situation.

Doubt. He could use it against them.

That's what he does best after all.

[nakylvr]

— STICKY SITUATION

megan skiendiel x fem!reader

summary: being spiderwoman and dating you at the same time has caused some problems for megan, and she's forced to confess who she is when you start suspecting her.

warnings/tags: fluff, established relationship, spidey!megan, language, not proofread

shit. shit. shit.

thirty minutes late. that has to be a new record for megan who was running down the streets of new york trying to get to the coffee shop she was supposed to meet you at. half an hour ago. the ginger hears her phone buzz in her pocket and she quickly takes it out, seeing your message. shit.

my love 💕

do we need to reschedule this? you could've told me you were busy

fuck. with shaky hands, megan types a response as best as she can while running.

megs ❣️

IM ALMSOT THERE I PROMSIW

you let out a short sigh, sitting back against the chair you were sitting in with two coffees sitting in front of you. setting your phone down on the table, your foot taps on the ground as you check the time on your watch. thirty minutes. what the hell was she even doing? she told you she was free, and yet she was now over half an hour late. biting on your bottom lip, you shake your head and start moving to get up right as the shop door busts open.

"yn!" megan rushes over to you, heavily panting from all the running she just did. "i'm so sorry i got caught up with something and i didn't mean to get here this late," she instantly apologizes, slouching into the chair across from you on the other side of the table.

there's something off. you can tell. it's been happening more recently. either she ends up leaving in the middle of your dates or shows up extremely late to the point you aren't sure if she even cares anymore. you'd been thinking about it more recently. but, you force a smile onto your face and shake your head. "it's okay," you reply. "i already got your drink."

megan's face flushes redder than it already was realizing you probably looked like you got stood up on a date and that you remembered what she ordered. "thanks. i'm really sorry again," she sighs, running her hand through her messy hair.

"are you okay?"

the question takes megan aback slightly, looking at you and seeing the expression on your face. "ye-yeah, i'm fine!" she answers with a nod. "just some things."

things. that's the only word she used as her excuse. even when you would pry you would get the same response. and your patience was wearing thin. with a deep breath, you close your eyes and try to think of how to respond, not seeing the way megan's eyes widen out of worry of what you're going to say next.

"meg, i think we need to talk," you say slowly, opening your eyes.

"what?" megan's voice comes out quiet. "about what?"

"about this." you gesture between you two with your hands. "why you leave in the middle of our dates, why you show up late, why you answer the same every time i ask what's going on. it feels like you don't really want me around you."

"what?" megan lets out again, her eyes wide with fear once realizing where this was going. "no, no, no, it's not like that, yn!" she says quickly. "i do want you around, i want you around all the time."

"then why are you so distant?" you ask. "these past few weeks i feel like, like you're making up lies to not see me or to leave. you always say 'things' but you never explicitly tell me what. what are these 'things', megan? or who? because i-i can't sit here feeling like you're not putting the same amount of effort i'm putting into this."

megan sits in silence for a moment, trying to think of a acceptable response rather than telling the truth or lying again. but, she already kept this from you for too long. you were getting suspicious of her, and she didn't want that. yet, the words don't leave her mouth, caught in her throat. "i-" she starts, but nothing else comes out.

shaking your head, you get up from your spot and grab your bag. "you don't need to say anything, i get it," you say. "enjoy the coffee, i already paid for it." you start walking away.

"wait!" megan gets up when you do, starting to follow you. "yn, you don't understand! i-i'm not doing anything!"

stopping in your tracks, you turn and face the girl with a serious look that has her stopping immediately. "you're right, megan. i don't understand. because you won't tell me. so if you want me to understand then you better figure your shit out, cause i'm not putting up with this anymore."

"yn," megan says softly but you've already turned around and started walking again. when you left the store, megan lets out a long sigh and drags her hands down her face.

she had to fix this. she had to tell you. she had to.

for the whole week, megan had been texting you and calling in hopes you'd respond and hear her out. but every time you declined the call or let it go to voicemail that was now filled with her messages, and every text was left read without a response. she knew she messed up, then. she even tried going to your friends, and they told her you didn't want to see her. she didn't know what to do. she wasn't good at this.

then, she got an idea.

after talking with manon about where you would be on the opening night of a movie you wanted to see, she came up with the idea. you two went to the same cinema every time you went to see a new movie, and it wasn't exactly in the greatest area of new york, but it was cheap for two high school graduates. and because of that, she was going to pay one of her guy friends to "save you" from. in the outfit and all. it would be easy, barely an inconvenience at that! she was certain that it would work.

"are you sure you won't hurt me?" keeho questions megan, standing in the alleyway next to the cinema with her.

"i'm 100% sure," megan answers with a nod, leaning against the wall already in her spider suit. "i've literally swung you around the city multiple times, dude."

"and you almost snapped my neck last time!" keeho exclaims.

"okay, well-"

the two go quiet once hearing a group of people talking and the doors of the cinema opening.

"alright, sound scary, okay?" megan tells keeho, pulling the mask over her head. "but don't touch her."

"i can't believe you're ordering me around." keeho rolls his eyes. "you owe me for this."

"i'm already paying you, asshole. now go." megan shoves him out of the alley once the group goes past them.

keeho straightens himself out right when you walk out of the cinema, and he starts walking towards you. you're looking at your phone, clearly not paying attention, and you haven't even met the male before, which has keeho mentally panicking already. "i can't believe i'm doing this," he grumbles under his breath.

reaching into his jacket pocket, as soon as he's in front of you he pulls out the fake knife and grabs you with his other hand. your eyes go wide and you open your mouth to scream but he's quick to cover your mouth and wrap his other arm around you to hold the knife against your throat with your back against his front.

"be quiet if you want to live," he says in a low voice. "i won't hurt you if you listen to me."

you try to scream, but it comes out muffled past his hand as you try to get out of his grip. but he was taller than you, making it difficult for you to try and kick him or move your arms that were stuck at your sides from his arm around you.

"walk with me," keeho tells you as he begins to walk backwards. you're forced to move along with him, your breathing starting to get heavier with panic raging through your body and eyes wide looking around only for no one to be in sight.

"please," you cry through his hand covering your mouth.

keeho mentally curses in his head for doing this, knowing it was a bad idea. but before he can say that he's not actually going to hurt you, he feels a hard kick against his back, making him yell out loud and let go of you and the fake knife. "fuck!"

keeho drops to his knees from the impact, releasing you from his grip as you move and take a few steps back to see him slowly get back up. "dude, what the fu-" he's interrupted when megan's fist swings towards his face and he quickly moves away like she told him to, acting as if he had been hit in the face.

as the two (fake) fight — mainly just keeho getting his ass beat, you watch with wide eyes, taking a few more steps back to see what was going on more clearly. when keeho finally lays on the ground and doesn't get back up, your stuck in your spot, staring at the vigilante who was now standing in front of you.

"are you okay?"

the voice sounds familiar, but the mask makes it sound a little distorted, making you wonder. "yeah," you answer, nodding your head. "thank you."

"are you still mad at me?"

"what?" you question. then, it hits you. "if that's you megan you better take that mask off right now," you say seriously, crossing your arms over your chest.

megan immediately takes the mask off, seeing the change in your eyes and expression realizing it really was her. "uh, surprise?" she says, nervously fiddling with the mask in her hands.

"jesus christ," you sigh quietly. "are you seriously the one who's been running around new york fighting all these different people?" you ask, your voice softening.

"yeah." megan nods. "i'm sorry for not telling you. i didn't know how to tell you, and i was worried that something might happen to you." she looks down at the ground.

you grab her hands that were still messing with her mask. "meg, look at me, please," you say. she listens, looking at you with her puppy eyes that instantly make you smile. "it's okay. i don't blame you for not telling me, i just wish you would've before something like this happened."

"oh, well about that," megan laughs nervously.

one of your eyebrows raise at her words. "what?"

"that's my friend keeho, i paid him to do that," megan confesses quickly.

"you actually kicked me!" keeho says, getting up from the ground and dusting his pants.

"are you fucking serious?" you look between the two.

"yeah," they both answer.

taking a deep breath, you keep yourself from scolding the two for genuinely scaring the shit out of you. megan can tell by the way your grip on her hands tighten, and she knows she's in for it when you get back home.

"we'll talk about this tomorrow," you say. "for now, have a good night, keeho." you smile at the male before turning to megan. "as for you, we are going to have a long talk about everything." your smile drops and you speak in a tone that megan knows means you're serious.

"okay," she squeaks out.

okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea. but at least it worked! that's all that mattered to megan in the end.

[harryhighkey]

"i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

i've been seeing things based around this everywhere rn and to me it is SO in-ho coded, he loves to look after his girl!!!!!!!!!!! so here are headcanons for fem!reader x in-ho/frontman/player 001/young-il based around the idea of: "i can do it myself." "i know you can but let me."

-----

car door:

this is the most obvious one, and it's every. single. time. whenever you two are headed towards the car and get closer, he speeds up his last few steps and reaches for your door before you have the chance. as you get in, he places his hand on your back and makes sure you're safely inside before he shuts it for you. there was literally one time when you beat him to it because you wanted to know what he would do and he was genuinely pissed off in the car while you couldn't stop laughing. that pissed him off more. "you're being so overdramatic." you teased him between giggles. "you'll pay for this when we get home."

suitcase:

you two often find yourselves with suitcases, going from your home to the island. each time you tell in-ho, "no, i can carry it!" as you try to keep a strong grip on the handle, determined not to let him take it off you this time. and each time he rolls his eyes, "i know, but i've got it." and he takes your hand off the handle, replacing it with his and wheeling it away before you can fight him on it any longer.

opening a jar:

this is one he has to actively catch you struggling to do it in order to help you with it, because you refuse to ask for help with this. this is something you believe you should be able to open on your own. "fucking hell." you'd curse. "hand it over, pottymouth." he'd quietly been watching you, trying not to laugh. "no, i don't even feel like it anymore." you'd stubbornly put the jar away with a huff. "sure, baby." in-ho would laugh, making a mental note to loosen the jar when you weren't looking.

holding the umbrella:

"ugh, i hate the rain." you say in your whiny voice, especially if you're caught out in it. in-ho knows all too well how getting wet (from the rain that is) annoys you, because you let it be known every time it rains. with a smile on his face, he extends the umbrella and pulls you in close, you latch onto his arm with both of yours, but he always makes sure that the majority of the umbrella is covering you. he dots a kiss to your cheek, trying to get that grumpy expression off your face. "this is the only time i like to keep you dry."

filling up your water bottle:

he'd never met someone so attached to a water bottle before. because you were always sipping on it, he'd come to learn how it sounded when it was almost empty. he'd also come to learn that when it was empty you couldn't really concentrate on anything else except how thirsty you were. of course that was psychological, you'd just had a bottle of water. but you didn't like it when he said things like that. so now when he would hear it nearing empty, he was quick to grab it and fill it up. if he happens to walk past it and you're not there, he'll pick it up and give it a shake to see if it needs a refill, too.

blow drying your hair:

you both love this. your arms always get tired when you do it, but you hate to go to bed with wet hair. in-ho is an observer, and he'd watch you as you did it. seeing you sigh and drop your arms to take mini breaks, by the third time watching you blow dry it, he decided it was time to step in. "here, give it to me." he held out his hand. "oh, no. it's okay, i'll finish it, i'm just resting my arms for a sec." you told him with a smile. "i'll finish it for you." you handed him the blow dryer and he went to work. you'd smile at him in the mirror, not sure how you got so lucky.

[ippipo]

self aware caleb

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | slight smut chapter

you haven't been able to get off for a while now. every time you try to orgasm, you suddenly get so frustrated and it never happens. even your vibrator was annoying you now. your fingers never reached the right spot anymore. it's like your body just wants something else. something more.

you rise to the notification in your phone.

caleb

you saved my name as just caleb?

thought you liked me more than that, princess

you

i like a lot of things and you're not in that list

jk ill change it

kale 🥬

almost cried but alr

you

get annihilated

kale 🥬

if its by you, gladly

kale??

really???

you

you asked for it

kale 🥬

ouch

you

bye

kale 🥬

bye

"hi," a familiar voice suddenly calls out and you jump from your initial position. "holy fuck, caleb!" you clutch your heart in a dramatic way. "you ended that conversation so quickly, whaddya expect?" he says it in a matter-of-fact tone.

"do you not have mc to bother?" you ask, your brows knit together in faux annoyance. "do you really want me gone?" you notice the sudden shift in his tone, making you feel guilty. you just meant it playfully. "no, no, i was kidding," you try to reason with him.

"that didn't sound like it," he points at you. "you didn't have to be so mean, it hurts my feelings. mind you, you're the only actual human i talk to, you should be a little considerate about that," he explains.

"i'm sorry, i was just a little frustrated today," you explain, making him frown. "what happened?" he asks. "it's nothing, i just need a little time to myself."

caleb raises a brow at this. he notices your cheeks were flushed, your expression looked like you were in a daze and you were looking at his......hands? the entire time you were talking. something was up and he had to know, because it was eating him up inside. could you really blame him?

"fine, i'll talk to you after a few hours. hydrate and sleep until then. keep your phone next to you, i'll wake you up," he instructs. you nod and wave to him with a smile. you take this opportunity to try something new.

you play some music, trying to rile yourself up. caleb could hear everything from his side. you slowly take off your shorts, completely unaware that your phone was still propped up against your bedside lamp, and a certain someone could see everything.

you rest on your back and you lick your fingers, sliding them downwards. you start circling your clit slowly, doing it until wetness builds up near your slit. your fingers move towards your hole that was waiting to feel something. you slowly insert your fingers inside, gasping at the intrusion.

you moan as you thrust them in and out, curling them inside to intensify the pleasure. you grab your vibrator and turn it to the lowest setting. the dim buzz makes your pussy clench in anticipation. you draw it towards your clit, whining when it finally touches it.

the music was blurred into the background, your entire focus was solely on your body, trying to reach the climax you've been chasing for days.

caleb watches you intently, playing with his shaft that was covered in precum. god, you looked so hot right now, he swears he could cum in a minute after seeing you. cold sweat trickling down your temples made everything look even more sensual than it already was.

you increase the vibrator's setting even more, and your moans amplify. you buck your hips at the stimulation, wanting more and more. "oh, fuck!" you cry out loud when your fingers hit that one spot. caleb halts his movements, not wanting to cum before you.

this was what you were so frustrated about. he chuckles internally, thinking how nice it would be if he could take care of you, drinking your sweet moans in while making sure you're too dumb filled with his cock to even think.

your thoughts suddenly shift to caleb, imagining it was his fingers that were inside you and you gasped when you felt your pussy getting even more wet. you increased the pace, feeling a familiar twist in your tummy. you tug at your clothed nipples, drunk on the feeling.

you increase the setting on your vibrator and it becomes overwhelming. "caleb!" you moan out loud. caleb freezes when he hears his name, thinking that you caught him but when he sees that you were still high on pleasure, his eyes never leave you. he smirks to himself. his cock was pulsating in his hand, aching even more after he found out you moaned his name. he wonders if you had done it on other occassions too.

your vibrator and your fingers that you imagined were caleb's were making you come closer and closer to your orgasm. "ah, fuck, caleb," you moan desperately. it finally hits you like a tsunami. waves of pleasure washing all over your body as you twitch at the sensation. your vibrator was now lonely beside you, buzzing as your chest heaves from the intense orgasm.

he lets out soft moans as he fists himself, thinking it was your cunt instead. when you moan his name again, he finally gives in. ropes of cum shot out of his cock, coating his abdomen. sweat coating his soft skin, his ears were red, and he was so down bad.

your entire world was spinning, the pleasure still lingering around. all your senses were overwhelmed, and the music was louder than ever. you flinch as the cold air hit your sensitive pussy.

you freeze when you hear a cough. from your phone. "caleb...?" you call out, praying to yourself that it wasn't him or you were definitely going to jump out. caleb immediately freezes too, realising what he had just done. "d-did you hear anything?" you ask in embarrassment.

"no, i came to check up on you just now, what happened?" he plays it off cool. you sigh loudly. thank fucking lord. "no, i was just wondering," you stray away from the topic. caleb closes his eyes in relief as you bought onto his lie. images of you still playing in his mind. "i'll go back to sleep then," you say softly, earning a hum in response.

fuck, that was close.

[withlovemark]

Could you write whiny bf Haechan cause you won’t kiss, hug or cuddle him cause your busy pls? (make it long pls)

an: i tried to make this as long as i can!

warning: suggestive

“baby, im hereee,” you hear the excitement from haechan! as he entered your apartment.

“in here,” you quickly reply from your office, eyes glued to your computer, fingers typing away at the last minute task your boss had sent you.

“hi, baby,” you hear the smile in his voice, excited for the free day he finally had to be with you not knowing that you were already too deep and focused on the work in front of you.

confused as to why you haven’t reciprocated his energy, haechan makes his way over to you, softly whispering, “i said im hereee,” he teases, landing a soft kiss upon your temple.

you quickly pull away, “later, donghyuck,” knowing that the boy next to you is your biggest distraction.

“government name and everything, huh,” he frowns, arms crossed.

you were being unreasonable, you know that. but you also know that the faster you get this done, the faster you can spend the rest of your day with him - uninterrupted. so until you finish, he would just have to deal with it.

“haechan, im busy. later, ok?” you say, gentler this time but still not sparing him a glance.

“ugh fineeeee,” he says standing up, “i’ll be in your room…dying! if you even care!,” he complains dramatically before storming off and you can't help but quietly giggle to yourself at your boyfriend’s dramatic antics. you sure did miss it so.

15 minutes later

haechans booming voice startled you as he popped into the doorway of your office, making you lose focus, “can we makeout now!?”

“no...leave,” you say sternly, waving him off.

harsh, but needed to be done or else you would never get anything done.

he sighs, loudly marching back to your bedroom, making sure you could hear every step of betrayal he is currently feeling.

to be fair, you did feel awful about it. you also wanted nothing more but to wrap him in your arms.

-

10 minutes later

“how about now?,”

“haechan-,”

“babyyyy, you havent even kissed me, like hello, what happened to ‘hi my sexy adorable boyfriend haechannie i missed you so much come get all the kisses from every day you were away!?’” he pouts and you almost! break at his desperation.

“later, i promise,” you say carefully.

“you said that 25 minutes ago, its later now,”

“i really need to get this done, i promise i’m all yours after,” you give him a smile and he has no choice but to retreat back into the bedroom.

when a bad bitch tells you to do something, you just gotta do it.

-

40 minutes later

he tried. he really tried to be in his best behavior but this is absolutely ridiculous.

“okay its been past an hour, i can't take it anymore, if you don't give me at least one kiss i'm breaking up with you,” he threatens.

“haechan don't be dramatic,”

“baby i can feel myself rotting away!,” he says falling to his knees for an even more dramatic effect.

“go play a game of league, it’ll make time move faster,”

“i dont want to do thattt, i want to cuddle and hold your hand and kiss you until i can't breathe,”

“20 more minutes, pleaseee,” pulling out your puppy eyes and buying you more time.

he agrees, of course, but his patience is on thin ice.

-

exactly 20 minutes and not a second later

“heyyy my beautiful amazing girlfriend, are you ready to cuddle?,” he barges in once again.

seeing that you are still nose deep into your computer, typing away like there’s no tomorrow, he lets out a sigh.

“ok, that’s it,” marching into your office, haechan picks you up from your computer chair as you let out a startled scream before he gently places you back down on his lap, your eyes meeting the bright screen you’ve been facing for the past hour.

“what are you doing?,” you look back at him curiously.

“just wanna hold you,” he smiles innocently, hands immediately wrapping around your waist you sigh, letting it slide as you continue to work, sitting comfortably on his lap.

he keeps his word for a while watching you type then delete then retype until it all got too boring.

slowly, he moves his hand from your waist to your thighs.

“haechan-,” you warn him.

“what?, just massaging you baby, you’re so tense,” he grins, kissing your shoulder. you try your best to ignore him, not wanting to give in and haechan takes this as a sign to continue.

pushing your shorts to the side, he starts rubbing you above your panties. your breath hitches in your throat and as much as you want to tell him to stop, you can’t seem to find the words to do so. as soon as he found that spot, the clicking keyboard stopped and your boyfriend can’t help but smirk.

“will you kiss me now?,” he pleads, turning your face towards him, “pleaseee,” he pouts and you find yourself leaning in like a magnet…until…

a zoom call from your boss starts ringing throughout the room, snapping you out of your haze.

you panic, pushing haechan out of the view, before composing yourself and answering the call.

haechan sighs in defeat, guess you really do got to work.

-

two hours later

you finally finished! stretching your limbs out from sitting for so long, you wonder why the house is so quiet

“haechan!,” you excitedly call out to your boyfriend, ready to give him your full attention but you’re met with nothing but silence.

walking into your bedroom, you find your boyfriend sprawled out on your bed, light snores filling the air. you make your way to him, quietly laying by his side, careful not to wake him up, lightly brushing aside the strands of hair that have fallen over his eyes.

his hair is so long now, making you realize how much time has actually passed since you last saw him. gently you trace his features, from his sharp nose to his plump lips, the moles that sit upon his cheeks, memorizing every detail.

at your touch, haechan’s eyes flutter open, “hi,” you whisper, waking him up from his slumber.

it takes a while for him to regain his voice, looking into your eyes “am i dreaming?”

you giggle and he cant help but give you a lazy smile, “no, im here… im sorry i couldn't be present earlier, i just wanted to get it all done so i��d have more time with you,” you explain to him and he nods right away.

“it’s okay baby i understand,” he reassures you, pulling you closer.

”no, it was supposed to be an us day,” you pout, you really did feel bad about it.

”baby its okayyyy, we still have the rest of the day,” he says, placing a kiss on the frown that has etched its way upon your forehead. you sigh in content, hugging him even tighter.

“can we make out now?,” he teases, breaking the heartwarming moment the two of you were having.

you giggle before pulling him in, his soft lips finally connecting with yours.

“god, i’ve missed you so much,” he murmurs against your lips and you can't help but moan as he pulls you in closer and closer.

your hand makes its way down, palming him through his grey sweats and he can’t help but whine under your touch, “haechannie-” you purr.

“yeah, baby?,” he whimpers.

“finish what you started earlier?,” your request earns you a smirk from him.

“yes ma’am,” he salutes before finally giving you what you both have been waiting for.

-

an: thanks for requesting! had a lot of fun writing this one! im a sucker for anything haechan but whiny, annoying, desperate bf! haechan is definitely on top of that list >.<

[genderqueerdykes]

For the transmasc voices: (tw suicidal thoughts, transandrophobia)

I'm messaging on behalf of my son. I'm NB, wife is transfem, our child is transmasc. He's only 11. He came out a few years ago, is allowed to freely explore and express, and at home he has a great support system.

But he has ALREADY struggled with suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and stress, not just from cishet classmates but from queer peers. He has ALREADY tried to APOLOGIZE for IDing as masc, due to intracommunity reactionary hate. We are ALREADY doing damage control, we have him in therapy, we make sure to celebrate him and lift him up at every opportunity.

He's fucking ELEVEN YEARS OLD and is already being heavily negatively stressed by our own fucking community. His PEERS are also, only 11-13 years old.

This intracommunity bullshit, this deliberate misandry and transandrophobia, is contagious. The children are ALWAYS watching and the vast majority of them do NOT have parents 'in the know' or even supportive, let alone any kind of digital supervision; they SEE YOU. They INTERNALIZE WHAT YOU SAY. They SPREAD IT and they are MIMICKING YOUR FIGHTS.

And when our community screams 'fuck men' 'men are trash' 'yes all men' 'they deserve this' those little caveats of 'oh but not trans men!!' don't actually do shit for anyone except make y'all pat yourselves on the back for being soooo progressive and inclusive. Worse still when they don't even bother with the caveats and just straight up refuse to ever consider nor allow anyone ELSE to consider the unique intersection (yes!! Intersectional fucking theory have y'all heard of it!!!) of both privilege and oppression experienced by transmascs, which is different from the unique *intersection* of oppressions experienced by transfems, which is still different from the unique *intersectional experiences* of still others, and insist no, actually, they're all only the same and actually only transfems can speak at all about any of this and trans men don't have unique experiences and can't have their own language and blah blah blah blah fucking blah.

I can literally see (and foot the bill for!) the harm y'all are doing to yourselves, each other, and to the next generation of queer kids and allies and I am so fucking tired of it. Reactionary hate is communal fucking poison and it ALWAYS involves friendly fire.

oh my god i am mortified but thank you so much for sending this. first of all, i wanted to deeply apologize for what is happening to your son, i have more to say about and to him later, but i want you to know i am very glad you chose to reach out. this affected me in a very real way. i'm not being funny here. a lot of asks don't really get to me, but this struck me like an arrow to the heart and i seriously need people to very carefully read this ask and internalize it. im serious. even if it makes you cry, please re-read it a couple of times. even if you seriously think it's okay to hate men. read this.

men don't just pop into the world men. they're boys first a lot of the time. would you people seriously fucking rather see dead trans boys than living trans men? because that is what you're doing. your incessant gender essentialist bullshit is legitimately getting trans CHILDREN scarred for fucking life and potentially killed. you are potentially actually for real taking a life when you say these things- but are you so happy knowing that there's childrens' blood on your hands?

your son deserves so much better than this holy SHIT. an 11 year old should NOT be having suicidal thoughts, especially over their GENDER. this is not petty internet drama anymore. this is affecting the real world. this is affecting real people. y'all seem to forget that there's a living, breathing person behind every single account you interact with (aside from obvious bots). there are people behind these posts. and you are genuinely affecting them. sure it sounds like a quirky clapback to say "all men should die" or whatever but what about when you say that to someone and it actually kills a man? what about when you're genuinely responsible for ending a life by what you've said and done?

are you prepared to console that man's family? are you prepared to apologize for what you did? are you prepared to understand that this has real life consequences and can literally tear families apart? are you prepared to understand that many parents, including mothers, love their sons? that many people love their relatives who are men? that many people love their husbands and partners? that this would hurt women in a very real way? whether or not you hate all men doesn't matter, but not all women think like this, and this can and will devastate real people in real time. this will hurt women way more than you think.

i wanted to say that i'm glad he has a good support system with you. it must be very comforting to know he has a NB parent to help advocate for him as a trans child. a child. i can't get over that. he should be living his life carefree. he should be playing with other kids, discovering new hobbies, learning about how other people go about their lives, and having fun, but instead he's getting tortured and mocked? for what reason? he's not a tyrant now. he's a boy. boys don't have any power in society. children are not an oppressive class. holy shit

you are doing a great thing by advocating for him. i will do my best to make sure i can, too. i don't need to know your or his name for right now, but i will make sure that i tell his story, because this is beyond fucked up. people need to understand this isn't about views on tiktok and likes on instagram. this is about real people who are hurting. you don't deserve to have to see your child go through all of this intense therapy and pain and suffering. this needs to come to an end.

if you want to share this part of the message with him, i'd like to address him directly. i just wanted to say, that i'm 32 years old, and i realized i was a trans man when i was about 20. i didn't learn the word transgender until i was 19 years old. if i had an awesome NB parent who helped me learn about it at your age, i would've been out as transmasculine, too! i was scared for a while, but some of the happiest years of my life have been while i've been out as a trans guy. i wear what i want now, i talk how i want to, i present how i want to, i love who i want to, and i don't let any of this invalidate me for who i am as a man. i only talk to people who respect me, and there are tons of people out there who love us and see us for who we really are

you're not going to deal with this forever. people are being really, really mean right now, but it's not going to be like this forever. there are a lot of other transmascs out there. if you find other trans boys around your age, do your best to stick with them if they're good to you. it's okay to be a trans boy and its okay to want to be friends with other trans boys. you're not a bad person. you're not mean. you're an awesome kid who's taking the time to explore gender now that it's something you can understand. that's really cool, why wouldn't that be cool?

try not to let them get to you. they are not confident in how they identify and how they feel about themselves. they're taking it out on you. your life matters, it matters so much. other trans boys out there will be so happy to know you exist. you deserve a long, happy life. there's nothing wrong with being a boy or man. we're not bad people. we're capable and deserving of love just like everyone else. your gender isn't anyone else's business. chase your happiness.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

can I have Brian, Helen, and Toby (seperate please) nsfw with f!reader who wears Christmas lingerie in front of them? And call it their (Christmas’s gift)?

I'm sorry this is so late after Christmas, I did not mean to post this so late, but it did at the very least come out much longer than I intended. I hope you enjoy <3 Reader is AFAB and has female genitals, but no other gendered terms are used

Brian:

Poor, poor Brian, his heart can barely take it when you call him upstairs. His heart's already racing from running upstairs in excitement from your text stating you had another gift for him, and it feels like it'll beat right out of his chest once his eyes land on you, posed nice and pretty on his bed for him. His brain malfunctions and all he can do is stand there with his mouth hanging open, unsure of what he should do or say, his cheeks and the tips of his ears bright red. It takes you giggling at him to snap him out of his stupor, and you'll have to gesture for him to come over to you, and he does so quite timidly, perching on the edge of the bed. His hands are itching to touch you, and he can't help the way his own breath hitches when his hands roam over your barely clothed figure, the green and red lingerie complimenting you so well, and he wants to carve it into his memory forever. It's fully subconscious when he asks if he can record you in it, and he feels like a huge pervert once it hits him what he asked, but all you do is immediately smile and agree, so despite his reservations, he happily does so.

Grabbing his phone, he makes quick work of undressing himself, and he begins by just recording your body, posing you, and showing any angle he can of you in your lingerie. His hand caresses and squeezes down your body, working his way down to thumb over your clothed clit, cursing quietly at the noises you're making and how sexy you look. He wanted to record himself fucking you, but he can't resist anymore, and he quickly tosses his phone to the side, stripping you of the lingerie, sliding his fingers inside of you to give you a quick stretch, before he finally slides his cock inside of you as he holds you tightly. You're both quite worked up from the evening's events, and while he tries to go slow and take his time with you, it doesn't take much to have either of you reaching your peaks, collapsing together onto his bed. You'll both find out later his phone did in the end at least record the audio of your sex, both that round and the one after it, too, much to Brian's deep embarrassment. Despite said embarrassment, that video becomes the most replayed one on his phone, something you'll tease him about for quite a while.

Helen:

Well, well, well, what do we have here? When you texted Helen and asked him to come upstairs for his final gift he wasn't sure what you had planned, but he knew your mischievous mind had to have something nice sorted out for him, and he certainly wasn't let down. However, if you're gonna sit on his bed and smirk so confidently at him, posing as though you're teasing him, Helen's going to tease you back. What, you thought he'd unwrap his gift and indulge in you right away? You thought he'd go ahead and fuck you like you wanted him to? Oh, no, no sweetheart. He's gonna pull out his art supplies and really commemorate this before he gives you what you want. He pulls over a chair and has you pose for him in specific ways, first drawing and sketching several different positions. By the end of that your muscles are tired and strained (he doesn't let you drop from your positions at all, after all), but he's not done with you yet, pulling out his easel, and painting you all the same, in specific poses. It's been over an hour of you doing this for him, your cheeks warm, your body aching, and it's not until he sees tears blooming in your eyes that he finally chuckles and gives you what you want.

He strips off all of his own clothes, but he makes you keep the lingerie on, as it's his gift to enjoy, after all. He simply tugs your panties to the side and gets to work fucking you immediately, considering you're already dripping wet from his eyes watching you all that time. He fucks you hard and rough and gives you no breaks, his cock hitting the deepest parts of you as he pounds into you, and you can hardly catch your breath from the force of his thrusts, but you can handle it, can't you? He's just repaying you for the lovely gift you've given him, and he's not going anywhere, considering he's going to make you cum as many times as he drew and painted you, and then maybe a few more times just to be thorough. By the time he's finished with you, you won't be able to walk without his help, and that thought alone has him pistoning into you even faster, his chest heaving and cock throbbing as he does his best to make both of you feel as good as physically possible. It won't be until you're begging him to stop, saying it's too much, that he finally gives in.

Toby:

Toby finds himself confused staring down at the message you'd sent him about a final, special surprise, so there's not really much rush in his steps as he makes his way up to his room, humming quietly to himself as he goes. However, once he opens his door to ask you what else you have planned, he wishes he would've had more pep in his step. His mouth is hanging open, and it takes him a moment of realization that he should close his door, and he slides into his room quickly, slamming the door shut a bit harder than he meant to. He shuffles over to you pretty quickly, his eyes roaming over your body, his hands following soon after. He wants to say something, anything, but he's so flustered he can't bring himself to say anything, it's your soft touch on his cheeks that gets him to look at your face and take a deep breath. When he's calm he eventually asks what this is all about, and when you answer that you just wanted to give him a special surprise he can't stop the small noise that bubbles out of his throat as he looks over you one more time.

He licks his lips, his fingers tracing the outline of your lingerie, and he can't help but thank you, several shy times at that, and you have to be the one to tell him that it's alright, and he can enjoy you to his heart's content. He's quick to press his lips to yours in eager kisses, his fingers gently working off your lingerie, and then his own clothes when you gently push him away so he can remember to breathe. He's eager to make you feel good in repayment for the surprise, his fingers thrusting into you eagerly, his mouth working overtime on your clit, and it's not until you beg him after your second orgasm to fuck you that he remembers that he wants to feel good with you too. With all of his stamina, Toby doesn't feel the need to go slow once he's finally inside of you, his hips eagerly thrusting into you. Toby's already so close, so worked up from everything, but he holds himself back, working your clit while he fucks you in an effort to finish with you, and when he feels that familiar squeezing around his cock it pushes him over the edge as he collapses on top of you, tiredly mumbling against you that this is the best Christmas ever.

[alkelkha]

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐓. chapter four

relationship — jinx/powder x fem!blk coded reader

contents&warnings! : wc: 4.0k | post season 2 | lower-case indented | angst | heart to heart | just kiss already 🗣️ | non-sexual intimacy | fluff | mentions of them sharing the same bed | mentions of isha | these losers can't stay serious | yes reader has plot and yes i'm going through with it | not beta read | yes i am making this up along i go | author's note: i'm finally back after a month... don't come after me though! i'm literally in the middle of moving to a whole different state (not my choice).

❛❛ APOLOGIZE WITH FIREWORKS ❜❜

a careless toss of an envelope with this week’s paycheck slid off the desk. your eyes followed the movement. “you’re slacking, [name].” 

you’ve been slacking for the past two weeks. that’s how long it’s been since you and blue fought. you thought that she would come around and the two of you would hang out again like nothing happened, but of course, it didn’t. you were given straight radio silence, you even tried visiting her at her workshop and home. nothing.

she was your best friend and you hurt her to the point she’s shut herself in. was she even in there? was she ignoring you? did she run off? did she hate you now? did you just ruin everything? you couldn’t tell, it was like she locked herself in. this was killing you. 

every since she left it was like all the good things she brought with her did too. the endless laughter between the two of you, the satuation of the world. because of her you finally felt safe, your loan sharks finally stopped bothering you.

sometimes you think you see her (which you don’t). anything blue made you think of her, clouds too. you can’t bring yourself to eat the blue raspberry candy. 

the truth was that she was your good luck charm.

“do you want to lose this job?” big don’s voice rang in the office, snapping you back to reality. lose this job? this was the only job that could help pay off your debt that didn’t involve selling yourself, beating others half to death, and stealing. 

“i’ve been kind to you. i gave you this pussy job so you could pay me back with my own money.” he leans forward resting his clasped-together hands on the desk.

“but i see something,” the tall man raises from his seat. your breath got caught up in your throat and your heart quickened its pace. “…someone has made you sloppy. has taken your attention off of what is really important.” you knew what he meant and you couldn’t deny it. 

you have gotten sloppy with your work, clocking out a little bit early, and coming to work late more often— that was you when you and jinx started hanging out, but since jinx and you have gotten into that fight all of it got worse. “that new girl…” your eyes shot from the ground and straight to big don. the way he referred to her made your stomach turn. was he going to send his goons after her too.

“don’t—“ without thinking you stepped forward, you were about to walk up and slap him. good thing your mind caught up with you. yay, no bullet between your eyes!

“don’t what?” big don shot back at you, he stopped pacing and walked over to you. “run her out of flosnum? tie up the new girl in town? have some of my men give her a good beating? or maybe i’ll make you do that…” gulping at his implication you step back. you knew big don was sick, but surely not that sick?

right?

towering over you, two heads taller his dull dark eyes look down at you, his eyes make you feel so insignificant. you were nothing but a mere worker bee, “[insert sibling] may have escaped off to bilgewater. ixtal? ionia? who gives a fuck anymore. what matters is that one of you is here. one thing stands. your father’s debt.”

“get your act together or you’re on your own.” he then grips your hair, and with a harsh tug he pulls you closer to him. he smelt of cigarettes and mangos, “once you’re on your own i won’t care how and what you do to pay off the debt. sell your body for all i care.”

you left his office and went back to working at the bar. overtime. work for two weeks with no pay as punishment, which was mercy considering you've been waterboarded other times.

though you were starting to consider being waterboarded instead.

how long has it been? she can’t remember, there was no point in counting hours or days when she was in this state. 

her chipped painted nails scratched off her cuticles to the point they bleed. curled up in the middle of her room stuck in an unforgiving daze. a haze that consumed her mind and filled it with thoughts that pricked her brain as if they were needles.

she fucked up. again. and she doesn’t have the guts to try and fix it.

not that there was anything to fix, you were done with her. you hated her. you saw her as insane as soon as you saw her.

she was an idiot to show you that side of her. what made her think that this would be any different? danger or not, flosnum was not immune to her effect. 

her blue chopped hair now grown inches past her ears but not long enough to touch her shoulders, her bangs terribly long, and the purple dye worn out. the bonsai tree on her bedroom windowsill half dead. the irrigating bear under her bed where its voice is too far to catch. 

jinx. that’s who she was. she couldn’t fight it anymore. running from it has been deemed impossible even when she’s a sea away from piltover and zaun. 

metal and wood clanking against each other.

she could hear it, the small huffs, exhales, and sniffles. the light-weight pitter-patter danced around her.

isha.

jinx was greatness to isha. a haven. a symbol. someone worth protecting.

jinx could feel the vibrations from the floor bouncing back to her curled-up position. she had her knees to her chest and hid her face.

she couldn’t bring herself to look up. she was scared that if she looked up she would see her. if she did, she wouldn’t know what to do.

all those times she told off sevika that jinx was dead, isha was the one that kept the image of her alive. not a symbol of destruction— no longer just a loose cannon but a hero. 

powder was the one that died.

she thought that maybe if she could start over, it would all be from the beginning.

no jinx. just powder. the more she stayed on this tropical island she was reminded that she couldn’t be powder. 

to be honest, jinx liked isha’s version of jinx. the version that isha would play games, watch battles fight each other, fall asleep to her overly-dramatized exploits, graffiti on walls, and stargaze with. 

the careless dancing footsteps morphed into cautious ones and the steps were slightly heavier. 

step. step. step.

these footsteps didn’t seem as if they were sneaking up on prey, still, jinx refused to raise her head up from her knees, her eyes stayed shut. 

just ignore it.

she repeated those words, a mantra that got her through a handful of her episodes. unexpectantly, light fingertips grazed her shoulder, unsure if they could go further in the contact. 

hallucinations couldn’t touch her.

a low gentle voice “blue.” jinx felt all of her defenses fall. how pathetic that’s all it took.

you crouched down behind her. jinx’s back faced you, wearing only a pink tank top and wool shorts that showed off the blue clouds on the right side of her body.

the only reason you were able to get in was because you found a foolishly placed spare key sticking out from under a ceramic pot with a wilting flower.

you were tired of waiting.

“i’m sorry.” trying to shove down the heat rising to your face, you swallow. there was nothing more you hated than apologizing, which was ironic since you did it quite often. normally when you did it, it was out of fear or common courtesy.

sincerely apologizing on the other hand? the thought of you being the person in the wrong felt like a punch in the gut, but none of that mattered. 

the only thing you wanted right now was your friend back. “i’m so sorry. that day at the beach when i sighed it wasn’t towards you.” jinx was still. “that day was perfect and i ruined it. i made you feel that i didn’t enjoy it. i did! it’s just—“ you sucked in a breath before explaining.

“…i have a hard time living in the moment, i’m always thinking about my next shift. that i have my shift in this many hours, i’ll have to deal with rowdy customers in less than a day after, i have to pay off my debt.” she didn’t answer, it felt like you were talking to a brick wall.

“ever since you came into my life you have been what i look forward to.”

silence is all she gives you. not even a hum of acknowledgment. “blu—“ you couldn’t finish the nickname because of how shocked you were to see jinx finally turn her head towards you. you can only see her side profile due to the position the two of you are holding. 

the saturation of her vibrant red-violet eyes is now exhausted and dull. an alarm rang in your head. scrabbling from your knees you made it to in front of her to get the whole view of her. you needed to see all of her.

jinx’s closed-off position, her days-old makeup, unkempt hair, and lightweight. her head a bit more raised so she could look at you better as your eyes roamed around her body. 

her eyes.

her eyes were so doe and dull, the manic that she usually held in her eyes was nowhere to be found. this was the most vulnerable you’ve seen her yet there were still so many walls. 

she looked horrible.

you did this.

“[name]…”

her hoarse voice made your heart ache. gulping, pushing down the guilt. you slowly and carefully take her hands into yours. “let’s get you cleaned up, blue.”

the first thing you did was take off her makeup with a wet piece of cloth. you had no idea how long she had been like this, it looks like she had that same face of makeup for almost a week, probably more.

her cheeks were tear-stricken with dried-up mascara and eyeliner. her purple eyeshadow was worn out along with her smudged lipstick.

you washed her hair in the sink. she sat on a chair, her head leaned back as the faucet ran through her blue locks. your hands gently messaging her scalp, and then detangled everything with a brush.

the two of you didn’t talk at all. sitting on a stool your wrist moved in circular motions, washing her back.

she felt herself slowly come back to reality. the way you were being so careful with her as if she was worth being gentle to. were you doing all of this just to torment her?

surely you weren’t faking the affection in your touch? you wouldn’t do such a thing. you couldn’t. 

she felt her eyes burning up.

she felt the rough texture of the cloth exfoliating her skin, your hand carefully leading its way to her tattooed arm. your movements slow not wanting to have her pull away from your touch.

jinx lets out a ragged breath, louder than the scrubbing of her skin and water droplets. that was the first breath she let out since you came to her. your movement paused and went even slower. gentler. 

that’s when she bursts into tears. 

you froze up a bit hearing her choked sobs, “oh hon…” jinx’s shoulder shook as she leaned forward, away from you. her sobs only got louder and louder. saliva collected in her mouth and her face turned a pinkish hue.

putting aside the cloth you took her shoulders and pulled her back towards you, you wrapped your arms around her neck, and your head was right next to hers. “tell me what’s wrong.” you whispered in her ear, you didn’t bother hiding the tremor in your voice.

“please, talk to me. did i make you upset again?” you plead for her to talk to you.

“i’m sorry.” her sobs so broken that her voice cracks as she apologizes. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry.” she just shakes her head repeating herself over and over again.

“shh.” you say rocking the both of you side to side in an attempt to lull her sobs. “it’s okay, there’s nothing you need to apologize for. we both messed up.”

“i’m such a child, i ruined everything!” she hiccups, her sobs only worsened. she leans on you like a child seeking comfort.

“stop that. you ruined nothing, okay?” you tried to keep your voice firm.

“i made something out of nothing again and i pushed you away and now you hate me—”

you cut her off, “if i hated you would i be here right now?” 

“you will once i mess up again.”

sighing, you pinch her cheek. “it was a silly little fight, we got through it.”

jinx winces at the pinch but she doesn’t pull away instead, her cries lessen and her face scrunches up a bit. “what if we get into another fight?”

not letting go of her cheek you kept speaking, “we’ll get through it. even when i get irritated or mad with you, i’ll always come back to you.” she turns her head and you pull away to give her some space to move.

her eyes were bloodshot, her pink irises sparkled as if she was begging you to confirm your words. “you’re my best friend, things like this will always pass over, i promise.” 

jinx’s sobs were no more and what was left was her small sniffles as you got back to bathing her.

getting back together with you made jinx realize some things.

number one: you would never ever ever ever leave her no matter what! 

this meant she could do anything without you leaving her. like sleeping together in the same bed and kicking you off.

number two: the two of you were practically made for each other!

she has been clinging onto every second of the day and you welcomed it with open arms. (well other than the times she’s stalking you, but you don’t need to know that!) has she gotten more childish with you? maybe.

it was your day off so per usual you were with her, instead of rotting together at her workshop the two of you went out for ice cream and window shopped. the two of you walked side by side in the blazing heat, jinx’s arm hooked on yours. 

usually, she would complain and complain in this weather and end up with sunburns which you had to tend to. these days she wouldn’t, it was like she grew up with flosnum. she wore a mismatched bikini top and stockings, low rise shorts black and pink shorts, and black boots with pink laces. “new style?” you raised a brow.

“just matching the weather.” jinx licks the dripping cotton candy ice cream from her cone. the undercity wasn’t hot like flosnum. it was humid at best but mostly cold. hell, she felt the warmth of sun on her skin more on her first week here than she did her whole life in zaun.

going on your route you spot a jewelry vendor, something catches your eye. mindlessly pulling away from her to go check it out jinx furrows her brows, she follows behind you. your eyes were on the turtle trinket. the jewels on it sparkled like no other.

stupid.

jinx’s finger hooks on the loop of your bottoms and pulls you closer to her side. she bends over a bit to get a better look at the stupid trinket. “oh come on, toots, you don’t need this. you already have that ugly turtle pendant.”

you smack the back of her head and she whines. “my necklace is not stupid!” you defend the bronze hanging around your neck. “besides, i wasn’t going to buy it….” your eyes trail to the price tag, the sight causes you to frown. “way too expensive anyway.” you turn on your heels and walk away from the vendor. 

she watches you walk away and back to the turtle trinket. it was ugly. tacky too. you wouldn’t look good in it.

jinx shrugs and catches up with you, she loops her arm with yours licking her ice cream once again with a stolen trinket in her pocket.

number three: she missed chaos.

because of that, she’s going to blow up at tonight’s festival. she’s been working on it the day after you bathed her, tucked her into bed, and fell asleep in bed with her. which was six days ago.

don’t worry. don’t worry. she’s not going to kill anyone. she was done with that, instead, these bombs were going to make a teenie tiny little mess.

today’s festival was in honor of the day flosnum successfully defended itself against bilgewater, many lives were lost due to the battle. which was an incredible feat now that jinx thinks about it.

anyways, that doesn’t matter! what matters is that she wants to ruin it. 

it’s the most jinx thing she can do.

somehow the paradise was infinitely more vibrant under the dark sky. maybe it was the twinkling stars, the glowing plants, and the fairy lights. everyone gathered in the streets, adorned in tropical garlands. the two of you held a stick, the tip burned bright, sparkling. 

normally, jinx’s mind would be on how gorgeous your smile was, but today she was too excited to even think properly. she was too happy to fuck the celebration up. she had already planted the bombs. 

the air was filled with a sweet and fruity scent of exotic flowers. your sweet laughter echoed in her mind finally snapping her out of it. “what’s got you so happy, blue?” she asked, pointing out her dumb smile.

jinx dropped the stick, “follow me.” she grabbed onto you forcing you to do the same and follow behind her. 

there was so much of everything. people, noise, lights, smells. you canvas through the streets and she takes you onto her workshop’s rooftop. though her workshop was placed in a shady alleyway, the view she had up top was breathtaking.

her rooftop was decorated with random cut-up fabrics, unfinished projects (aka junk but she won’t let you call it that), and colorful lanterns. the stars painted the night sky, the jinx sat on the rooftop ledge. being the more cautious one you tried not to, but she forced you anyway.

“we’re best friends, right?” jinx slowly turns her head to you, your eyes are on the ground, watching the people below. 

“i sure hope so,” you snort. realizing that it wasn’t the right time to joke you backtracked, “of course we are, the best of friends.” you didn’t look back but that didn’t make your response any less sincere.

her red-violet eyes trace your side profile. you were pretty like this, with the colors of the lanterns illuminating off of you. the color blue graced your brown skin and the coils of your hair. it was almost as beautiful as when the sunlight would kiss your skin.

jinx wasn’t sure when it started. “it” being when she became so attentive to you. maybe, it was the day she first saw you behind the counter of her now workshop. maybe, it was the day she crashlanded and you saved her.

the topic of the day she crashlanded was never brought up between the two of you. jinx wasn’t sure if you were aware that she knew.

jinx should’ve forgotten about you that day, her vision was hazy and smoke filled her lungs— her mind shouldn’t even have registered the details of you. but she did.

the key detail she remembered?

it was that stupid bronze necklace.

the ugly piece of metal that is still hanging around your neck. it looks as if it was handmade. well maintained yet specks of chipped-off green paint on the turtle’s shell.

“good,” jinx smiles at your answer. her hand reaches into her pocket and your eyes follow, her fist closed around not letting you know what it is just yet. “because i wanted to give you something.”

your eyes finally lock with hers. “i’m not good with words. i’m not good with my actions either.” her vibrant eyes shift away from yours, but she forces herself to keep eye contact with yours. “i fuck shit up. always. as soon as something good comes in my life it’s taken away, by my hand or something else.”

jinx couldn't find the right words, she didn't even know where she was going with this. “i ruin everything,” she laughed bitterly, her eyes searched yours to see if you were annoyed by your senseless rambling, but you didn’t. you listened, waiting for the next words to come out of her mouth.

“i’m jinxed. it’s in my name.”

jinx looks down at her hand, her fist is holding onto the mystery item tightly. then her fingers hesitantly open up her fist, revealing what’s in the palm of your hand. you look down. this feeling in your stomach, it flips and flutters. “blue, is this—“

“jinx,” she didn’t let you get a sentence in. “that’s my name.”

jinx...so that was blue's name. oddly enough, it fit her perfectly. she didn't look like a sasha, cassie, hannah, or kate. for someone as cool as her she should have an equally cool name.

“that’s so cool!” your eyes twinkle, filled with excitement, completely ignorant to the significance of this moment.

when the words left your mouth jinx left hundreds of degrees hotter. a warmth blazed through her body. no one has ever had this type of reaction to her name.

“so, you’ve been cool you’re whole life, huh?” you scrunch up your face in mock jealousy. “cool hair. cool talents. cool personality. cool name. you’re just a package, aren’t you, jinx?”

why did she like her name coming from your lips so much?

trying to hide her flustered state she puts on a cocky front, “enough of how cool you think i am. are you going to take my gift or not?” she dangles the trinket in front of your face. “you stole it.” you blink at her unamused. still you took it from her hand. “says who? you think i can’t afford something like this?” she tilts her head, raising a brow. 

“then what’s this?” you point to the tag. 

she looks at it and grumbles. after pulling it off she then put on a faux innocent smile. “what’s what?” seeing how your unamused expression didn’t waver she sighed in defeat. “i just wanted to do something for you, you deserve tiny luxuries like this. maybe it could bring you some luck too. a lucky charm.”

her words managed to make you loosen up. your face softens. “thanks, hon, but i already have a lucky charm.”

jinx’s squints her eyes at you, “wait, you do?”

"i'm talking about you, jinx."

jinx, a lucky charm? how ironic. se had always been the cause of trouble, never the solution. when she did try to find one it only made everything worse. but here the two of you are. you hailed her as your lucky charm. a good omen.

she lets out a bark of laughter, she laughs with her full chest. all of this was too surreal it was making her head spin. 

POW POW POW

with distant bangs a cloud of red, then purple, then green, then blue. the town square exploded with a flurry of colorful dust. the dust danced in the sky and fell back down onto the cobbled ground as if it were snowfall.

oh right. jinx forgot about those.

the two of you whip your heads to the noise to see the mayhem going on. 

their faces being painted with the colorful dye. the locals dance and twirl along with the ongoing blasts of the bright vibrant powder into the air. children rushed trying to catch the falling powder, some even making angles on the ground.

your eyes snap wide with amazement at the view, “oh my gods!” no way in hell were you going to miss out on something like this. you carefully get off the rooftop ledge and pull jinx with you. 

“get your ass up, let’s join the fun!”

screams, panicked voices, and people trying to take cover, that’s what jinx expected. not the sound of flosnum residents’ laughter and cheers. her plans to cause chaos failed.

she really was a jinx.

TAGLIST: @millie2point0 @powderbomb-jinxed @velvetinkbym

[hxlxnaaa]

hiiiii, i love your fics soososososo much

im a uni student for art and i was wondering if you could make a fic for rafayel comforting reader on art block ? i think he would be really sweeet about it.

thank u :3

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when faced with the frustrations regarding a lack of creativity and ideas, rafayel is quick to help you come up with a solution, and without realizing, becomes the solution himself.

★ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: rafayel

★ 𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: first person pov, rafayel being proud of his gf, just really sweet, references to his anecdote 'addictive pain' (just mc taking a few art classes)

★ 𝐰𝐜: 1.5k

★ 𝐚/𝐧: i'm so sorry this took so long!! this is such a cute concept and tysm for the request, rafayel would fs be so sweet n nice ab his cutie struggling w art block. i hope you like it :,)

Frustration was creeping up through my throat, strangling the air out of me. Art was supposed to be my escape, but I had hit a literal wall. With balancing work and a social life, I had hardly found time to dedicate to my first love, and now it seemed as if all creativity had left my mind in an instant.

Tossing the sketchbook across the room that only held scribbles and scratches, I puffed out my cheeks, pressing my fists into the couch.

‘You’re better than this,’ I thought, ‘art is your passion.’

I picked up my phone, dialing Rafayel's number. It would be helpful to take a break, as I had been sitting around for hours crumpling up paper after paper, not a fruitful idea in sight. While I of course admired him as a person, I also looked up to him as an artist, even if I was often too shy to show my own talents to him.

“Hey cutie,” Rafayel's sweet voice came over the line, “whats up?”

“What’re you doing?” I hoped he wasn’t busy, cause I was about 30 seconds away from intruding into his house.

“Just working on this painting Thomas is on me about, why? Thinking about me?”

“Do you care if I come over?”

“That’s a silly question, I’ll see you when you get here.”

Click.

I rolled my eyes, ‘Yeah. Thanks.’

-

Sprawled out on his couch, I watched Rafayel drag his paintbrush across the canvas with little effort. I was jealous of how natural it all came to him, reminiscing on a time I was able to convey everything I pleased with that much grace, able to create anything with ease. Now my talent just sat in a corner, covered in dust, and I wasn’t even sure how to use it anymore.

“Raf.” I sat up, throwing one of the brushes lying around at his back.

He hummed a response, not bothering to turn around to look at me.

“When you run out of ideas, get art block per say, what do you do?”

“Sit in the bathtub, you know this.” Rafayel nodded his head towards the empty tub lying in the center of the room. “Yeah, but,” I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, “what about it brings you ideas?”

He shrugs, placing a kiss on my forearm draped loosely around him, “The water always brings me ideas. It’s easier coming up with things in a place where you’re comfortable.” Rafayel pays me a grin, “That’s why I come up with my best works when you’re around.”

“If you had to give advice to someone struggling with a lack of creativity, where would you tell them to start?” I stared longingly at the painting he was working on, craving the urge I once knew, the urge to create.

“Is that someone you?”

I flick his head, “If it was, would the advice change?”

He thinks for a moment, “If it were anyone else, I’d tell them to get a book of art prompts or something.” Rafayel cranes his head back to look at me, “You? I’d tell you to paint something you love.”

“Something I love?”

“Yeah, like food or a wanderer, I dunno. Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”

Something I love.

-

I sat surrounded by old sketches and paintings I had made and kept throughout the years, and thought about what Rafayel said.

“Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”

There were connections between all the pieces, and that connection was that they were of all the things I loved at some point or another. My favorite flower, the stray cat I had rescued growing up, Gran and Caleb, cherry blossoms when they first bloom; things that brought me joy and warmed my heart.

‘Okay,’ I thought to myself, tracing my fingers over all the papers, ‘easy enough. Just draw something I love.’

The sketchbook in front of me sat blank, just like my mind.

Something I love, something I love, something I love…

It started with a jawline, a mess of hair, wild eyes; then the sketch turned into an idea, and I was grabbing my watercolor paper and paint.

Heather purple hair, kaleidoscope eyes, fair skin adorned with carefully placed freckles and moles as if an angel had kissed him themself. His smile, I needed to capture his smile. His rosy cheeks.

I finished the painting, and grabbed another paper. His home, I needed to paint his home. The canvases that littered his space, the bathtub, the statues and vases, the tall windows that showed the sea outside.

Another paper, another paper, another paper.

The brush glided across the page as if unstoppable, using the same precision I used to fight wanderers, the trained eye, fast reflexes and grace. His hands, him painting, his laugh, everything I had memorized about him over time turned into the art that I had been waiting to spill from my mind.

Something I love.

Rafayel.

-

“Did you ever find that creative spark you were looking for?”

I turned around from cooking to look at Rafayel, who was standing at the island of my kitchen watching me work. His pretty purple hair was messed up from me earlier picking paint out of it, and his shirt loosely unbuttoned at the collar. With asking the question, his eyes glittered mischievously.

Rafayel himself was not the painter, he was the art.

“Yeah, I suppose I did.” I shrugged, going back to fixing dinner.

“I didn’t know you liked to do art,” He maneuvered his way next to me, poking my side, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Liked? No, art was something I adored. It was my security, an outlet. Even when everything was going wrong, my life in shambles, I always had the ability and opportunity to create. It was stability, it was love, my life and passion. I just needed to find it again.

I poked Rafayel back, “It was never something I thought I needed to share with you, plus I had gotten away from it for a while. Lost my spark.”

“Now I want to see!” Rafayel groaned, pouting, “Are you any good?”

“I took a few classes in university for fun, but not nearly as good as you.”

He went still for a second, “Art is subjective...So please show me?”

“Go into my room and my recent stuff should be in the folder sitting on my desk,” I pointed my spoon in his face, “but no messing around in there, you look at the folder and get out.”

“Yes ma’am.”

With that he descended down the hallway, and I heard the soft creak of my door opening. For a few minutes, the only sound in the apartment was the quiet sizzle of the food in the pan.

Then, it was too quiet for too long.

“Rafayel, you better not be in there snooping!” I shouted, only to get no response. A few more seconds passed by before I called out to him again, “Raf?”

“Why are you a hunter?”

I jumped, startled by his sudden appearance behind me. He was clutching the pieces I had done of him, looking down at them and back at me with awe and adoration. His fingers danced gently over the paper, analyzing every detail.

“What do you mean?” I frowned, his question catching me off guard.

“These are…I don’t even have words. They’re amazing.” Rafayel continued to stare at the watercolor paintings in his hands, flipping through them carefully.

A soft laugh left my lips, “You just like them cause they’re of you.” The compliment didn’t fall on deaf ears however, and my cheeks turned pink with his praise. For one of the greatest painters in our era to think my work is ‘amazing’? Yeah, that felt nice.

Rafayel smirked, “Well, yes. I think that adds to it.” He laid out all of the papers across the island, “I just don’t understand why you didn’t pursue this, why only take a few classes in university instead of doing it full time. You have a real talent…”

“That's a big compliment coming from the Rafayel.”

“You could do as well as me if you put this out there.” He waved one of the pieces in my face, before quickly pulling away, “No, actually, I want all of these. I’m going to hang them up when I get home.”

“You gonna pay for them?” I crossed my arms, trying to act tough. Grinning, Rafayel wrapped an arm around my shoulder and waved his hand around as if gesturing for me to see the world, “See? You’ve already got that art business mindset down, I can see the vision for your future from here.”

He looked down at me with a sweet, sincere glint in his eyes, “But really, I’m glad you found that creativity you were looking for. I would hate for you to abandon something like this.”

“It was your help,” I put my head on his chest, “you told me to draw something I love.”

Rafayel pinched my cheek, “Well I’ll always be willing to be your muse, cutie.”

(divider by cafekitsune)

[revelboo]

REVEL!!! I'm a huge fan of your blog since like a month ago and I can't stop reading over and over again all my fave stories 😭💙 I come to show you my new figure of bae, our grumpy bot, Prowl (the figure's actually pretty cool!), may I ask for some of him, please? Perhaps another part of Stand Too Close, or may be a story where the reader is cheerful and his brain goes like ???

Look at him! I’m glad you like my silly stories!

Stand Too Close Pt 14

Prowl x Reader

• It’s pathetic how excited you get about the prospect of a car ride. Cooped up in his quarters long enough that when he asks if you’d like to go for a drive, you temporarily forget that you’re angry with him still. And he’s doesn’t complain when you play with his window controls, rolling it down and leaning an arm out so you can lay your cheek on it. Letting the wind whip your hair even though it’s stinging your face and neck and not caring at all.

• You look happy. Actually smiling as the wind tousles your hair and he tries to remember if you’ve ever smiled like that for him. Even when the two of you aren’t squabbling, your expression is never so relaxed and open. And you sit up when the city comes into view. “I thought you might need human things,” he lies as he idles down a street and parks, popping open the door for you. “You’re always complaining about the things you miss.” Shifting on his shocks, he feels you slide out of his seat, losing your warmth as you stand there, one hand still on him. Waiting for you to bolt like you’ve claimed you want to so many times.

• What’s his game now? Because this must be some kind of test. That or he’s just sick of dealing with you. “And you’re deciding to trust me for once?” You don’t buy it. He doesn’t trust anyone. Certainly not you. Hand lifting from Prowl, you back up a step. He’d parked just off the busier streets, the lot is mostly deserted and quiet. If you run, he’ll just transform and catch you. Probably scoff at you for being so gullible. Is this a new form of torture? Dangling freedom right in front of you and then snatching it away?

• “I trust you.” To run and disappear among the other humans without a backwards glance. Optimus is going to be angry with him, but he can’t even bring himself to care anymore. When had your happiness started mattering to him? “I’ll be right here.” Lying has always been so easy for him, learned early on that it was necessary sometimes to convince people to do the right thing. The best thing.

• Wrapping your arms around yourself, you turn and start walking. You listen for the sound of him transforming, for his engine to rev. Waiting for him to stop you as you step onto the busy corner and people look at you, then quickly away. Know you must look like you’re homeless at this point, unkempt and messy. Heart racing, you look back to make sure he’s still there and somehow a part of you isn’t surprised to find him gone. It’s not like he’d actually cared about you, but it still hurts a lot more than you would have imagined. He’d brought you back to where he’d stolen you from and left without even a goodbye. And you just stand there, staring at where he’d been. This is what you’d wanted, so why do you feel so hollow inside?

• It’s for the best for you. To be among your own. Happy. Even if he hates it, wants to destroy something, go pick a fight. Because you’re the only good thing he’d had and even you’d hated him, hadn’t you? Constantly fighting each other, like neither of you could stand to be happy. Or maybe it was really only him. Lashing out at him because he’d made you so miserable. Maybe you’re laughing now, head thrown back and free. Desperately wants that. For you to smile, because one of you should be happy.

Previous

[27spoons]

https://www.tumblr.com/27spoons/773801512373780480/what-if-i-said-i-wanted-nat-to-ride-my-strap-while?source=share

Now think about this scenario being high with her😭😭😭 it would be 100x messier, lazier and definitely more intense :( she would be such a whiny, needy mess, babbling about how good it feels and how much she loves you so much<3 Nat who LOVES being complimented and completely melts when you call her a good girl, especially if you do it in that sickeningly sweet voice while you grab her hips to help her keep the rhythm while riding your strap-on and at this point she's not even riding anymore, it's more like she's just grinding herself on your lap and delighting in the way the silicone tip rubs sooo good against her g-spot.

Nat would cum and make a complete mess and would probably fall asleep so quickly afterwards, all curled up and cuddly next to you in bed

I'm sorry I might have gotten a little carried away ;) but I totally understand you and I think about this more often than I should

u did NOT get carried away PLEASEE send me more thoughts like this... me personally when i smoke weed there's a 50/50 chance i end up horny bc of it... so..........

anyways have some writing bc i like this thought very much

but also... i got carried away with this. i was just gonna do headcanons or something butttttttttttttttttttttttt we love smut in this blog

High | Natalie Scatorccio

pairing: natalie scatorccio/gn(afab)!reader

wc: 1420

warnings: porn/what plot, smut (afab!reader), intoxication (marijuana), strap-on referred to as "dick" and "cock", not proofread we die like jackie

"You always look good when you wear that, y'know?" Natalie grins at you, watching your form lay flat on the bed, "Sexy." She giggles to herself, grabbing the joint straight from your lips and placing it between her own, taking a long pull. "And the weed definitely helps." She moves to climb onto the bed, resting one hand on your sternum while she holds the joint in her other. "Open your mouth."

Nat places the joint back between her lips, taking another pull before leaning down and pressing her lips to yours, gently exhaling the smoke into your mouth for the… well, you aren't sure how many times it's happened tonight, but it's happened a lot.

You breathe the smoke back out when she pulls back, and then her lips are on yours, and the joint is discarded. You aren't quite sure what happened to it, but you really don't care. You can always buy new bedsheets if a hole is burnt into them.

Nat's hand slides up from your sternum to gently cup the side of your throat, her hips pressing down slowly against your stomach, almost instinctively. You can feel her warmth, her heat, slowing grinding against you.

When her lips trail down from your mouth to your jaw—then neck, where she bites down on the flesh of your throat more than a few times—your hands rest on her hips and push them back until her bare pussy comes into contact with the piece of silicone rested against your stomach. 

"Mm," Nat hums against the side of your throat, "not even gonna warm me up first?" 

You scoff, one hand moving to grip her thigh, relishing in the feeling of the soft flesh underneath your palm. "We've been smoking all day. You always get so unbelievably wet when you're stoned. I don't even know if we'll need lube."

"Oh, we probably won't." She grins, one of her hands sliding between you, hands wrapping around the shaft of the purple dildo. "But I know you like it when it's extra messy." The breathless giggle that escapes her is downright sinful, and you watch with rapt attention as she rubs the tip through her slick folds. 

You curse under your breath as you watch the wetness begin to collect on the silicone cock, and you swear the way she lines it up with her pussy and slowly teases her entrance with the tip might be one of your favourite sights of all time.

Despite the fact you can't break your eyes from it, you make no move to force her down, letting her explore her own wetness. So, you run your hands up her body, almost in a worshipful manner. You tell her this often, and she calls you stupid every time, but you say it again, "You-you're-you—" You have to take a breath and steady your breathing, already getting worked up just from the imagery you're being provided with. "You-you're—" You force a breath, heart racing as you try to find the words. "Fuck. You're so fucking beautiful."

Nat lets out a low, warm laugh at that, "You're so dumb." But the way her skin flushes at the comment shows you the truth behind her words. 

The blonde moves one of her hands back to rest on your chest, leaning over you slightly as you watch the tip slowly push into her, adjusting around the girth of the strap-on. "Oh, holy fuck." You whisper as your jaw falls slack in pure, unbridled lust. "Holy fuck." You're not very vocal; you never have been, but when it comes to watching Nat slide down on your dick? It's a little hard not to be more than appreciative. 

"Y-yeah?" She lets out a breathy laugh, hips coming to rest fully against yours as the entire length of the toy bottoms out inside of her dripping pussy. "Like the view?"

"You know I do." A hand runs up to cup her chest through that red bra you love so much, thumb running across a hardened nipple through the fabric. "Always look like such a good girl when you take me so well."

The comment causes Nat to twitch her hips unconsciously, her clit grinding deliciously against your pelvis. "Yeah, you like it when I call you a good girl, don't you?" You mumble out, hands on her hips as you start to move them on her behalf, "Well, I like seeing my good girl ride my cock." 

"Oh, fuck yes," Nat murmurs back to you, her eyes falling shut as she slowly begins to move herself up and down the length. 

Now, Nat has never been loud either, but, when she's high? That's a completely different story. Low, breathless sounds spill from her mouth with every undulation of her hips. 

You can't help yourself when you reach onto the nightstand with your free hand, grabbing another joint and placing it between her lips, "The weed's good." A flame sparks to life on the lighter you hold to the tip of the perfectly rolled joint, and Nat takes a few long, slow puffs as she rides you.

"It is good." Nat offers on the exhale of the smoke, taking another long drag before shotgunning the smoke with you once, twice, and a third time before discarding the joint into the empty water bottle that rests on your nightstand. "But this is better."

The weed makes its way to Nat's head, the extra buzz doing wonders on how the strap—you—feel inside of her. These low, breathless moans spill from her mouth as she leans forward, pressing her chest against yours as she continues to rock her hips, urgency slowly increasing with every movement.

When her breathing starts fading into small whimpers, you bend your legs at the knee and press your feet flat on the bed, thrusting up into her.

"Fuck, you're such a good girl." You murmur into her ear, "Always taking my cock so fucking well. Riding me like you need it." You slap her thigh with one hand as you continue to fuck her. "So fucking sexy." A far cry from the flustered stuttering at the beginning, "And the sounds you make? Fuck, baby."

Nat whimpers again, babbling something about how good you feel, her hands pressed into the mattress beside your head, not even bothering to do anything more than grind pathetically down onto your lap, the tip of the toy brushing just perfectly against her g-spot with every roll of her hips.

She's practically drooling against your shoulder at this rate; whimpers and moans are breathed into your skin, every perfect movement causing her pussy to pulse around the silicone in an attempt to draw you in deeper still.

You wrap your arms around her to aid in the effort of holding her where you need her to be to keep hitting that spot that has her seeing white behind her eyelids. 

Her sounds slowly shift into breathless grunts as she gets closer and closer to falling over that edge, but it's not until you whisper, "Such a good girl" into her ear that the dam breaks, and with a strangled, broken cry, she clenches down around your cock and comes.

The movements she makes as you help her ride the waves of her orgasm are lazy and unhurried, but clearly still chasing that pleasure that had her seeing stars and thinking of nothing but you.

Eventually, her movements cease, and it's with a small, displeased whimper that she removes herself from your length and lays down beside you, immediately curling into your chest and seeking the comfort only you seem to provide.

"We should clean up, you know." But you wrap an arm around her shoulders anyway, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Gonna be all sticky if we sleep like this."

Nat hums to herself and rests a hand on your hip as her eyes fall shut, "We can wash up later."

"You're gonna be the one bitching about it, you know."

"Mhm." She makes no move to leave her position on your chest, "And you'll deal with it anyways." She slings a leg over yours, clinging you to a koala would a tree. "Always do."

You roll your eyes but don't dispute the claim, "Whatever. You get clingy when you're high."

"Mhm." Is the last thing she offers before falling asleep, and drool begins to pool almost immediately as she does.

She always did look cute in her sleep.

a/n: i was held at gunpoint to tag @cassioo in this btw AND i got carried away w the word count.

[rekino2114]

How about Accidentally switching jerseys with the Manshine City girls?

Accidentally switching jerseys with the manshine city girls

A/n:Technically, I should have done the same prompt but with the bastard münchen girls first, but since there are a lot more characters there, I'll just do that next Sunday and do this first. Also I did male reader for this since that's how I did it in the pxg post but sorry if that's not what you wanted (also if the anon who requested the same thing with the bastard münchen girls reads this I'd like it if you let me know if you want male or gn reader)

Fem!seishiro nagi

"Hey nagi"

"............."

"Nagi!"

"............."

"NAGI!!!"

"..........."

Fed up with her friend ignoring her rei sighed and took the phone out of Nagi's hands

"Wha- hey I was playing, give it back"

"You can't use the phone we're literally about to go on the field"

Nagi sighed heavily and reassumed her permanent bored expression

"Do I really have to play? I don't feel like it"

"Why?"

"I wanna play games. I almost have enough points to go up a rank....if you give me my phone"

"I already said no, take it up with Prince if you don't wanna play"

"No.....talking with him would be such a hassle.....can you do it?"

"No"

The white haired girl sighed once against as she put her hands behind her head and started laying down on the floor of the changing room

"The team we're fighting is so weak though, I don't care about them. Going up against weak people is such a hassle"

She closed her eyes as rei looked at her annoyed before coming up with an idea

"But if you play you can impress y/n"

At the mention of your name, nagi opened one eye with as much interest as her expression could show

"Imagine how impressed he'd be if he saw you doing your best even against weaker teams, I'm sure he'll love you even more"

Nagi's mind drifted to all the cuddles and gaming sessions you would give her if she impressed you, so she decided to stand up and face rei

"OK I'll do it"

".........wait really?"

"Yeah, for y/n"

"Oh.....ok.......it was that easy?"

"What?"

"Nothing"

"OK.......do you think y/n would be more impressed if I did a bicycle kick or if I trap the ball really cool like usual?"

"I....don't know, just see during the game"

"Hm, I'll probably do both"

"OK, so put on the jersey and let's go"

"Oh........can you help me find it?"

".....isn't it in your bag?"

"Yeah......can you help me find it?"

"You.....you don't know where it is?"

"To be honest, I just took my phone out of it and threw it somewhere, I forgot where"

".............."

After a while of searching for nagi's bag (while the girl in question did absolutely nothing to help) rei found it thrown under one of the benches with most of the content spilled out of it so she just took the jersey that was nearby and gave it to her friend

"Oh thanks"

"It's.....nothing just put it on"

"......can you help me?"

".......what?"

"Can you help me put it on?"

".......if you tell me y/n helps you put your clothes on I swear i'll-"

"Why are you making it sound like such a big deal? He already saw all of my body"

"Yeah ok but.......why?"

"Putting clothes on is-"

"Such a hassle?......nevermind it's my fault for asking"

".....so are you gonna-"

"No"

The lazy genius sighed and finally started to put the jersey on. When she was finished, she looked at rei and gave her a thumbs up

"Finally. Let's go-......."

"Is something wrong?"

"......that's not your jersey is it?"

".....what?"

"Look it's so tight, the number on the shorts is not even yours"

Nagi looked down at her body and noticed what her friend was talking about

"Oh yeah......this is y/n's"

"......what?"

"The number, it's y/n's"

"....and why was y/n's jersey in your bag?"

"Probably cause it's actually his"

"I.......I won't ask anymore questions, just go switch jerseys"

"......can I not? It would be such a ha-"

"Please nagi just go"

"........fine"

Nagi went outside of her locker room and into yours, where she found you talking with some other teammates and approached you

"Oh hey nagi what are you-"

"Give me your jersey"

".......what?"

"We switched, this is yours"

"Oh did we? Sorry"

"It's not your fault, can you help me take this off though......please?"

"Oh ok"

You looked at your other friends for a bit and awkwardly told them to look away which they did, so you helped nagi put her clothes on, which she rewarded you for with a cheek kiss, and put yours on too

"OK we're done now"

"Cool"

"Let's go"

"Yeah......thanks, I don't know what I'd do without you"

"It's nothing sei, I would do any for you"

"....me too....as long as it's not too much of a hassle"

You laughed a bit and kissed her forehead as she held your hand while walking through the door

Fem!reo mikage

"Can you believe it? She continued hitting on him even after he told her he was taken"

".............."

"I swear every time y/n and I hang out there's some girl wanting to get with him, I get he's hot but he's mine!"

"............"

"Hey nagi, are you listening?"

".......not really"

Rei sighed and looked back at nagi, who was completely focused on her phone as always

"Whatever"

She grabbed a hair tie and looked at herself in the mirror before starting to style her hair in a bun

"By the way, do you know any restaurants nearby? I wanted to bring y/n somewhere nice tonight"

"Oh, can I come too?"

".....it's a date, like for me and y/n.....only"

"Oh.....I can bring my boyfriend too, then we can have a double date"

".......You're doing this just because I'm going to pay and you want free food right?"

"....yeah, you always say yes when I ask you for money to spend on dates anyway, this shouldn't be different"

"I guess.....fine you can come just don't disturb me and y/n too much"

Nagi hummed in approval and cheered a bit because she got another kill in the game.

"Yay! Kill streak! I think I got a new record of kills"

"Hehe, that's nice"

When she finished styling her hair rei looked one last time in the mirror and turned back towards nagi

"OK I'm ready, we can go now"

Her friend nodded, and the two of them started walking towards the field, stopping once they saw chigiri stretching on the sideline

"hi chigiri"

"Oh, hi nagi, rei, what's up?"

"Nothing much.....y/n isn't here yet?"

"No, he said he couldn't find.....his jersey, hey rei do you mind turning around?"

"Eh? Why?"

"I wanna check something"

The chameleons girl did as chigiri said and she was met with a sigh coming from behind her

"So that's where it is"

"What?"

"Y/n's jersey, you're wearing it?"

"...............I AM?"

"Yep, I genuinely have no idea how you didn't figure it out before"

"Nagi! You were behind me this whole time, why didn't you say anything?"

Nagi, who had in the meantime sat on one of the benches and started playing again, looked up from her phone slightly to see her friend's angry expression, only to look back down immediately after

"Ah.....it was an accident? I thought it was something you decided together or something like that"

"....and you still didn't say anything?"

The lazy genius simply shrugged as the mikage heir's anger quickly subsided as she was very familiar with nagi's attitude having known her for this long

"I'll just go give this to him"

"Yeah, good idea"

Rei went to the men's locker room, where she found you still looking around for your jersey

".....heyyyy darling....can I tell you something"

"Oh hi rei, sure"

".......I might have actually taken your jersey"

"........I see"

"It was an accident, I'm sorry I don't even know how it happened"

"It's fine, I don't mind"

You took out her own jersey that you found in your bag, and she did the same as you started changing

"How much do you want for the inconvenience?"

"What do you mean?"

"That was probably pretty frustrating. I can pay you back if you want....literally"

"Oh no it's fine"

"If you're worried about me or something don't be, you know I'd spend all my money on you"

"No no you really don't need to"

You pressed a kiss to rei's cheek, which caused the purple haired girl to blush

"All I need is you"

"......fine but tomorrow I'm taking you shopping and you can't say no"

You giggled as you two held hands and started walking forward

"I guess I can't complain about that"

Fem!hyoma chigiri

Everything was relatively chill in the manshine city's women changing room, nagi was on her phone as usual, and rei was watching her play

"Oh look a rare item"

"Ohhhh so lucky"

The two high fived as they focused more on the game......however their focus was broken by an angry chigiri storming out of the bathroom

"OK which one of you took my hair conditioner?"

"......what?"

"It's not in my bag, so one of you must have taken it"

"No I mean, why are you styling your hair before a match, like right before, you already put your jersey on"

"Cause I need to, I can't go there with trashy hair, especially if y/n's there"

"Does he really care that much?"

"Well I do, and I care about the thousands of spectators who will see us, how can we look like the power couple we are if we don't look absolutely stunning?"

".....ok....anyway it wasn't us, my hair is already naturally beautiful-"

"That's debatable at best"

Rei narrowed her gaze at chigiri but continued talking

"And nagi doesn't really....do body care without her boyfriend"

A sigh escaped chigiri's lips as she turned around and went in the bathroom

"Fine I guess I should look more closely"

"Wait chigiri, did you ask prince to change numbers or something?"

"No why?"

"........can you move your hair out of the way?"

"What?"

"I wanna see the name on the jersey you're wearing"

The red panther moved her hair to the right, allowing rei to see the name on the jersey clearly now

"......why.....are you wearing y/n's jersey?"

".....what?"

"Yeah that's his last name"

The red-haired woman quickly took off the jersey to confirm what rei said, and she was disappointed to see it was indeed your jersey

"What? How did-......wait then that probably means that the reason I didn't find my conditioner-"

"Was because you took his bag"

"......I'm gonna go give this back to him.....you two don't you dare say anything about this"

The two girls nodded, and chigiri quickly made her way to the other dressing room (very, very quickly with her speed)

"Hi hyoma, what's wrong?"

"my jersey"

"What do you mean?"

"We switched bags. I'm actually wearing your jersey"

"......oh..sorry for not noticing......I just thought you left your hair products in my bag"

"It's fine, here's yours"

She started to take off her jersey as you did the same

"And here's yours"

You two put everything back on and double checked just to make sure it was the right ones

"Seems like everything's OK now"

"Yeah, sorry again"

"I told you it's ok......but can you give me my conditioner now I need it"

"Why? Your hair always look perfect"

"It's because I always look perfect to you"

"Yeah because you are"

"Then let me show you how perfect these legs are"

"..........."

"I-I mean how fast they are. I mean speed and you knew it"

"Yeah, yeah don't worry"

[squid-headcanons]

heyyy would you be open to doing a Hwang jun Ho x reader one shot lots of angst but ends with fluff?? The plot can be up to you :)))

night at sea

-> hwang jun-ho x reader || squid game oneshot

-> summary: after the death of your friend during your mission to find the island, you sit on the deck to think. jun-ho finds you sitting alone and decides to join you.

-> genre: angst -> fluff oneshot

-> warnings: death mention, cursing, nothing else really.

-> a/n: thank you for requesting!! i hope that i fulfilled your request, and i hope you enjoy!! this is my first time writing for squid game, and jun-ho, so i hope i did him justice! tysm again <3

The rain pounds down against your back as you sit on the deck, watching the waves crash around you. You were part of Gi-Hun's crew to track down the island, but you sincerely didn't think something like this would happen. One of your best friends, another crew member, had been hit by the explosion on the wrong island. You tried not to show emotion, but nights like these, you had to let it out.

Tears fell carefully from your cheeks as the ship swayed back and forth with ferocity. The night sky was staring at you, blaming you for joining the crew in the first place. You knew it was a bad idea, but it was part of your job. You couldn't turn it down. But risking your life for some idiotic, probably fake island where participants play some childhood games and die in the process? You couldn't take it anymore, this was fueled by delusions and you weren't having it.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as footsteps approached you. You turned your head to see Jun-Ho looking at you with confusion spread across his face. Turning back to the dangerous view in front of you, you ignored his existence. He was the one who insisted on this trip, along with Gi-Hun. You didn't want to deal with the delusions anymore.

“Hey, why are you out here so late? You need to get rest for tomorrow,” Jun-Ho said, his arms crossed over his chest. He was a little bit worried about you, afraid that you could possibly fall overboard due to the storm.

“Can't sleep,” you muttered, your gaze turning to the sky. “There's too much to think about to sleep.”

“What's on your mind?” Jun-Ho asked, sitting down beside you. He didn't mind the rain, he was honestly more concerned with you.

“The man that you killed during your stupid operation was my best friend. The one in the body bag underneath us right now? The man with a wife and children who I have to explain all of this shit to?” you said, the tears falling even more rapidly from your cheeks. Your voice was faltering, cracking under the pressure.

“... I'm so sorry ... for your loss. I really didn't know that there would be a bomb, and I'm sorry that he was the one to open the door. None of us could've known. However, if having someone to blame makes you feel better, so be it,” Jun-Ho said softly, staring out into the night sky with you.

“Why the fuck are we out here anyway?! All I know is that we're looking for some island that probably isn't even real, based on stories of shit that sounds super fucking unrealistic! I mean, childhood games killing over 400 fucking people?! I don't get it, and I don't get why my friend had to die because of some fake shit!” you cursed at him, looking him dead in the eye as your heart spoke for you.

“... do you wanna know what I went through? The games, the reasons why I'm looking? That might make you understand things better,” Jun-Ho said, looking toward the ground. He knew the pain you were going through, he saw it every day in that damn place. He was so tired of watching people feel this way.

“Sure. Fine. Whatever you think will make me feel better, but it probably won't. Don't get your damn hopes up,” you said, watching the waves crash against the ship once more.

“... I was looking for my brother. I heard Gi-Hun talking about some island with a business card, and the same card was in my brother's room. So ... I infiltrated the facility. I followed their cars and killed one of the guards so I could take his place. Everything that Gi-Hun saw in there was real, I watched it first hand. I went through hell in that place. I was fearing for my life daily while watching the players be bet on like horses. What hurt the most, though ... was when I found out who was running the games,” Jun-Ho admitted.

“Wait ... you know who was running the games, and you didn't tell anyone? Why?” you asked, eyes wide with both curiosity and fear.

“The Front Man, the man behind the games, was my brother. He shot me in the arm and I was found in the ocean. I just ... I want to find him and talk to him. Ask him why, sit with him and just understand why he's doing all of this ... I would rather die than never find out.” Jun-Ho felt a weight lift from his chest as he exhaled, waiting for your response.

The sound of waves crashing filled the silence for a few moments. You were thinking carefully, letting what he said truly sink in. You hated to admit it, but you understood. When you looked at his face, you understood the pain written all over it. He just wanted his brother back, and you couldn't blame him. What happened wasn't his fault, your friend just happened to be caught in the crossfire.

“I'm sorry,” you said softly. “I get it. I think we've both lost a part of ourselves searching for that island. I've lost a friend, you've practically lost a brother ... I want answers too.”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, gentle and reassuring. “Let's go inside and get dried off, maybe talk through everything I know. It felt really good to get all of that off my chest, and ... it feels good to trust someone again.”

You stood carefully, extending a hand to help him as well. The ship's deck was incredibly slippery, so you held onto each other as you made your way back into the cabin. After drying off, you both sat near a wall, away from the others that were sleeping. You didn't want to disturb them, so you both spoke in hushed tones.

As he explained small details about what all happened, you listened intently, but you felt yourself nodding off. You had your blanket over your lap, pulling it slightly over your torso as you grew more cold. It was getting later and later, and the lack of sleep was getting to you. Eventually, you dozed off, your head slipping onto his shoulder.

As he realized what was going on, a red haze creeped gently across his cheeks. He let his head rest on top of yours, placing his hand on top of yours as well. You two had earned each other's trust throughout the night, and he wanted to keep you safe.

Despite everything, Jun-Ho seemed to have found a side mission.

[lapdogged]

Hi.

I'm not really sure what to say in this. I've never been good with words, especially serious ones.

If you're reading this. I'm probably dead. Or dying. Or something. I might queue this early so that I can reread it? Like 1am something. But, like, if it's Monday my time it's just too late for anything. I took a bunch of pills, got comfy, slept, and didn't wake up.

Hi. My name is Namida, I use he/they/star/prin/royal. At the time of posting this, Luminescence (he/heart/blood/bone/gum), Katerina (ask pronouns), Scotty (he/him), and Martyr (he/him) are also here. Technically others (Damian he/she, Maren she/her, Charles he/him) but, like, we're the ones taking the leap.

Collectively. Our name is Francis Noele Mae, or Saint, or the Church of Strabismus, or Bishops of Divinity, or Seraphim System, blah blah blah. They/He/Se/Shi. Masc, nonhuman, femmasc terms, blah blah.. we're a system, we're B/H/OCPD, AuDHD, c-ptsd, gad, mdd, spd, a few other things? We're physically/mentally disabled and going blind.

I like to think we're creative. I think I can be sweet, I think I'm caring. I think I'm pretty smart. I'm not very strong, or pretty, but I think my body's nice. I think I'm handsome. I think my friends like (liked?) me. I think I was a good artist and a good flag maker and a good comfort. I hope I did okay.

I like needy streamer overload, Undertale, Stardew valley, animal crossing, Minecraft, sanrio, cult of the lamb, FNAF, FNF, ciel fledge, collecting, cutecore, designing, decorating, and sweatpants. My very favorite scent is vanilla almond, my favorite food is zuppa toscana, and my favorite outfits include either hello kitty or a unicorn onesie.

i was born on July 28th, 2009, a week later than my due date. As soon as I was born, I was already loud and babbling. My mama says she cried when she saw me, because I was a girl (oops, she was wrong)! When I was a toddler I'd throw all the toys into my brother's crib and crawl in to play with him.

I was a very sensitive kid, cried everyday of elementary. Old teachers will tell you that, but then they 'forget' to point out how badly I was bullied. I was obsessed with hugs, art, and math, and was baby Jesus in my 3rd grade Mardi Gras parade. I have a scar on my forehead from cracking it open, and I still hate recalling my eye surgery.

Middle school was hard as fuck. I spent a lot of those days at home hiding from the world, my mom annoyed as I cried and pleaded to skip yet again. I finally cut off a horrible best friend, as well as a lot of online abusers. It was around this time that I was diagnosed with GAD/depression, and the time that AuDHD started to be suspected.

I'm in high school now. Barely survived 9th, and sorry to say I'm only half through 10th. I can't do it. Everything's too big. I couldn't even do my work, and now I failed 5 classes, and everyone is busy with babies or medicals or wills or money or all of it, and there's just no room left for us. No more room for their "Ophi" and definitely none for "Francis."

I love you all. So, so, so much. This is not your fault. It was never your fault and never, ever will be your fault. I just couldn't be strong anymore.

Goredad, I love you. You helped me on my worst days, you helped me figure myself out, you made me feel like things could get better..even if they didn't.

Momdad, I love you. I'm sorry I'm breaking my promise, but I'm just too tired. I can't breathe anymore. I can't see anywhere else to go. That's not your fault, okay?

Ivy, I love you. You made me smile, you made me forget the worst of it for a while. I wouldn't have, couldn't have made it this far without you. You are so, so special.

Alex, god, I love you. You're my brother. You're my puddle. You're my best friend. You made me so, so happy. You make me so happy now. You're so, so good, you are such a good person.

Nalu, I love you. You're my twin, you're my friend, you mean so much to me. I'm so sorry I stopped texting, I just got too scared and too tired.

To everyone I've loved, to everyone I've ever helped or been helped by or spoken to,

Please survive. Please don't come after me. I know this is not the right decision for me to make but it's the only one I have. You have options, I promise. You can grow older and be happy and forget about me. You'll move on one day and you'll forget about me and you'll never even remember the name Francis.

This is me and my teddy. His name is Theodore but he only goes by Teddy. He's my favorite thing in the whole world. I got him when I was four and I've had him ever since.

I may be dying in my body. But I don't want us to die in spirit. Please, just love the memory of me for a little while. Share a picture of me or a video of my voice or anything. I have a few posts queued, too, so don't freak out if you see my blog ghost post, lol.

some pictures of cats I like

I won't be coming back. I'm not going to be alive to come back. I've already decided what I'm doing, I'm taking as many pills as I can. I'm going to wear my favorite outfit (my hello kitty and my onesie), I'm going to be holding my teddy and wrapped up in my weighted blanket, and I'm going to be listening to my favorite playlist, the one he made me.

And then I am going to shut my eyes.

And then I am not going to wake up.

I'm sorry.

[rom-e-o]

The idea of Manfred just, innocently as can be, ruining surprises and secrets between Papa and Mama. Like any little kid.🤣

Example: Guinevere making herself a custom lingerie set decorated in choice grave gold pieces Emmrich has lavished upon her. She plans to surprise him on his birthday night. Manfred finds it first, is drawn to it because of the glitter and shine, of course, and assumes it's some sort of special mage armor. Cue him rushing out from the house's interior somewhere to greet Emmrich dressed in a glittery, jingling lingerie set bearing a train and dripping in gold.🤣

What does he ruin for Belismrich?

HELLLP, that's is so precious. Manfred having these silly, whimsical little moments of pure joy as he explores the world fills is so wonderful to imagine. He's a spirit of Curiosity, after all! It's only natural that he seek out treasures and oddities and then share them.

Like you said, I'm sure this leads to a few spoiled surprises, haha. The little guy has hones his exploration skills from helping Emmrich explore the Necropolis, so you know he's got some experience sneaking into places and training his eyes on details.

OHHHH MANFRED, DARLINGGG LMAO.

Listen, you know ... sometimes you find armor while hunting in dungeons. It's gold. It's shiny. So, he finds this set, and his first thought is that it's very rare gear. It's gold, too! Gold is valuable! Papa taught him that.

So he dons it and parades out joyfully, arms raised happily. "Look! Treasure!"

Emmrich, who was browsing his library for books, practically drops the stack at the display. "M-Manfred! Where did you...?"

"Grave gold!" He does a twirl to emphasize the train. "Pretty! Like Mama!"

"V-Very much so, my dear boy, but..."

He has to fight back a laugh and try very hard to be stern, but ohhhh, it's so hard. He can't stop grinning.

"Manfred? Where did you find that?" He knows from where, of course. It's not his or Manfred's after all, and let's just say he's familiar enough with that cup size to know it from a glance, haha.

"Wardrobe! In back!"

"Oh, dear. I'll have to warn G'iney to not hide her projects there."

He tells G'iney, of course. To keep an honest dialogue between them, but also ... because it is pretty hilarious, haha. He does ask Manfred to apologize, and promise to not go through people's clothes anymore. Chests in a home are not the same as chests in a dungeon, haha.

"I'm sorry, my dear," he tells her with a bashful smile. "I'm sure you were hiding it for a reason. I took care to avert my gaze as much as I could, but from what I saw? You have outdone yourself again."

He'd still very much like to see her in it for the occasion she had planned. "If the mood still moves you, my beloved."

And thanks to Manfred? He already has some knowledge of how to take it off~ Which will come in handy. Well, at least, after a few rounds. ;)

Oh, what does Manny do for Belismerich?

Hmmm ... okay, remember my hc that Emmrich really enjoys studying Isma's form? Especially while she dances, he loves to observe her muscles and anatomy at work. Each movement of hers is pure art to him, even on an anatomical level.

He sketches her often. While she dances, relaxes, etc.

Well, let's just say, perhaps Manfred finds these sketches? And he likes them. ("That's Mama! Pretty!")

What does Emmrich do when Manfred gets positive marks? He posts the paper for all to see.

So...later that day, Isma and Emmrich are returning from a ritual one day, and Emmrich sees a familiar drawing on a light post. Emmrich recognizes it, and grabs it before Isma can see.

"What was...?"

"N-Nothing!"

Then, one light up, there are two more. And more drawings are on the fence leading to his lodgings. The papers have drawn some small, inquisitive crowds of students.

"Are those me?" she asks, very confused.

Emmrich, who knows that they are but is VERY confused as to what they're doing pasted across the city, just keeps grabbing them while leading Isma home very quickly.

Whey reach the front door, Manfred throws it open happily. "Surprise!"

The intimate drawings were (thankfully) placed indoors only, haha. Ones of her laying supine, breasts bare, lips parted, long hair flowing unbound. Some of her sleeping. Some of her arms, her legs; all the finer points of her anatomy.

"Yay! Proud!"

Poor Emmrich can barely stay conscious from the rush of blood to his cheeks, all while Isma coos and gently thanks Manfred, urging him to bring his papa his chair while she desperately tries to calm his blush.

"F-Forgive me, darling. I-I intended to show them to you for our anniversary."

All is well, as Belisma is so honored by his devotion, that she vows to give him much more source material in time for their celebration. And for that day, Emmrich keeps the drawings in a locked drawer.

[thorraborinn]

Would it possible at all for you to point me in the direction of how to translate elder futhark runes ie: “Thor, Protector of Humanity”. I’m entertaining the idea of woodburning Norse art.

lol you're gonna hate this. Nobody asks me shit like this anymore so I'm gonna take it too seriously.

Really the answer is "no." I can try to do it for you but I don't think it makes sense for me to say "learn Proto-Norse" and hope for the best. Learning how to do this is a lot more difficult than learning Old Norse or Old English (and tbh "learn ON or OE or OHG" is the actual advice I'd give here). I know you're asking about doing this in general, and not for that phrase in particular, but you happened to provide a good example so I'm going to try a translation and show all my work.

I did put together a very non-exhaustive list of sources on runes available here but honestly that will not get you far here. Turning Proto-Norse into runes is easy, it's the language part that's hard. I also made a big list of deity names in Elder Futhark. Apparently the font embedding broke so it looks like nonsense, and I'm not gonna fight with it now. But the bolded text in each entry can be transliterated into runes. I haven't looked at this in years, but did just update Thor to be more in line with what I have here. Also, don't trust Wikipedia or Wiktionary for this stuff, you can use them as a research tool but verify independently or just use them to find other sources.

If I were in your position, I would consider using Old Norse and the runes that wrote that. Völuspá even gives us a near parallel: Miðgarðs véurr, and one of many ways to write that might be ᚦᚢᚱ ᛬ ᛘᛁᚦᚴᛆᚱᚦᛋ ᛬ ᚢᛁᚢᚱ.

I should make sure sure you're asking what you want to be asking. I'm assuming you want to translate into language that was spoken when the Elder Futhark was used. Some people say "translate" when they mean the less-commonly-known-but-more-accurate "transliterate" (turn "abc" into "ᚨᛒᚲ"). Maybe you just want to go ᚦᛟᚱ ᛬ ᛈᚱᛟᛏᛖᚲᛏᛟᚱ ᛬ ᛟᚠ ᛬ ᚺᚢᛗᚨᚾᛁᛏᛁ and call it a day, and there's nothing wrong with that but you don't need my help for it so I'm guessing that isn't what you mean.

Anyway I'll give you my crack at a translation of the phrase you provided now in case you don't want to read the rest of this but the explanation is after the break:

*þonaraʀ warjaʀ *man(n)akunjas þonaraʀ warijaʀ manakunjas ᚦᛟᚾᚨᚱᚨᛉ ᛬ ᚹᚨᚱᛁᛃᚨᛉ ᛬ ᛗᚨᚾᚨᚲᚢᚾᛃᚨᛊ

(the i ~ ij thing is on purpose. word boundary markers optional)

Thor

There are some unclear phonological aspects of *þun?raz > Þórr. Haukur Þorgeirsson recently addressed this (this article is currently paywalled but for some reason the whole thing loaded just fine for me a few hours ago, not sure why), and I find his conclusions satisfactory, which complicates things. Haukur proposes an earlier *Þunurr but doesn't rule out *Þonarr (or earlier reflex of these). By Haukur's analysis the former is easier to resolve within Old Norse but the latter is more convenient with some other proposals already made, especially by comparative linguists. So we find ourselves with two proposals for the god's name in Elder Futhark-era language: ᚦᚢᚾᚢᚱᚨᛉ *þunuraʀ and ᚦᛟᚾᚨᚱᚨᛉ *þonaraʀ. I'm conditioned to favor *þonaraʀ, but I can't find fault in Haukur's preference for *þunuraʀ within the context of his own paper.

The only reason I'm not siding with it is that it seems impossible to resolve with Old High German donar and Old Saxon thunar (both 'thunder'; compare *eburaz > OHG/OS ebur, not **ebar). So while Haukur's got me convinced that *þunuraʀ seems like a more likely immediate precursor to Þórr, I can't shake *þonaraʀ being what seems to me, at least for now, a necessary precursor to the OHG especially. And for now, "seems necessary" beats "more likely." Of course variation is possible but that isn't a way to handwave conflicting data, it's a whole separate thing to investigate, and I haven't done that yet.

If I were researching something for myself, or for something permanent like a tattoo, I'd keep going and make sure I'm more confident. Even Haukur leaves open possibilities I haven't mentioned here. If nothing else, at least *þunraz no longer seems necessary to maintain (as Ringe 2014 thought following Noreen 1923).

Alternatively, one who does prefer *þunraz as the Proto-Germanic could probably be convinced to allow an epenthetic vowel for Elder Futhark-era language, so we're safe there.

I probably could have left all this out. *þonaraʀ is a fairly normal, mainstream way to reconstruct Þórr. But that wouldn't have been an accurate depiction of the situation. However we work this out, it highlights that what we're doing is not speaking/writing ancient, dead, unattested language. Or, if we are, it's only incidental to the primary thing we're doing, which is trying and sometimes failing to understand how attested words relate to each other, and taking sides in arguments about that.

protector

Selecting a word for 'protector' is difficult. It was only with some hesitation that I went with warjaʀ, a word only attested in compounded personal names like Landawar(i)jaʀ on the Tørvika A stone. It's highly likely to be derived from *warjan- 'to protect/defend.' What's a little weird, though, is that it seems to always be written warijaʀ, in apparent violation of Sievers' Law. I won't get into details here because this post is gonna be long enough as it is, but let it be known the word (and others -- the (i)ja thing recurs a bunch in the Elder corpus) is controversial and my preference for leaving it as it's attested would probably not be universal.

Snorri calls Thor verjandi Ásgarðs, Miðgarðs 'protector of Ásgarðr, Miðgarðr.' To be honest, this isn't the most common use of verjandi; usually it means 'defendant' in a trial, but we can get its meaning from context. We should stop to question whether it could have been used that way some 700 years before Snorri, and once we're satisfied that we can use it we run into trouble again with the non-phonological change of the suffix *-andz > -andi. The *-andz suffix is poorly attested in the Elder Futhark. We have the Tune stone's witada witanda-, but it's a compound word and doesn't give us the nominative ending. Then there's the Eggja stone's suwimąde swimmande and gąląnde galandi which are late enough to be basically fully Old Norse, and doesn't tell us much about earlier language. In Old Norse, these -andi words have the same endings as an n-stem in the singular, and maybe they did in Proto-Norse, but we don't have nominative (or even uncompounded in any case) forms from early enough to be sure. *warjandʀ or *warjanda? Or something else? If not for this, it's the word I'd probably use, and if we want to come as close as we can to technical dictionary accuracy, we'll have to be okay with a shot in the dark at the morphological state of the language.

Also derived from verja are vernd, verndari, vǫrn, vǫrðr. Both vernd and vǫrn mean roughly 'protection' and it makes more sense to say that Thor gives or provides them than that he is them. A vǫrðr is a guard or warden -- Heimdallr is definitely a vǫrðr but I'm not certain Thor is. Most likely, verndari is a later, Norse-era formation, which is unfortunate because it is the word I'd use if we were translating to Old Norse (might go a little bit something like ᚦᚢᚱ ᛬ ᚢᛆᚱ(ᚿ)ᛐᛆᚱᛁ ᛬ ᛘᚭᚿᚴᚢ(ᚿ)ᛋ).

In Old Norse there's also gæta. It isn't attested outside of North Germanic which means relying on internal reconstruction, which isn't great. Kroonen's (2013) *ganhatjan- makes sense and PN *gą̄tijaʀ does seem pretty reasonable as a reconstruction. Semantically, I'm not sure if it's a good fit, though I'm having trouble articulating why. Its meaning should be something like 'to watch, tend, take care of' and in most modern language is more like what Iðunn does with her apples, or what a shepherd does with their flock, than what Thor does with humans, but I don't know that we can be so precise with Proto-Norse and in either case I don't think it's wrong. Actually, perhaps gætir Miðgarðs would be a better way to put it (hint: gætir Miðgarðs < *gą̄tijaʀ miðjagarðas ᚷᚨᛏᛁᛃᚨᛉ ᛬ ᛗᛁᛞᛃᚨᚷᚨᚱᛞᚨᛊ).

The Norse word hlífa might be closer to what we're looking for, though it might only seem that way because we have little evidence to contradict it. In Norse it means 'to protect/defend/shelter (from something)' and works here, but its attestations in other Germanic languages are a little weak and don't inspire confidence in the semantics.

Given all this, I can't help but feel it's best to return to war(i)jaʀ. Though unattested outside of names, it presumably had an independent existence at some point, and is transparently derived from the verb *warjan- 'to defend.' And maybe most importantly, it is actual, attested language. This is a rare opportunity to forget about what I said at the end of the "Thor" section and connect to real language committed to real record by real people.

As an aside, véurr, mentioned way above, is probably etymologically equivalent to vé + warjaʀ, so *wīhawarjaʀ ᚹᛁᚺᚨᚹᚨᚱᛁᛃᚨᛉ.

humanity

We catch a break with 'humanity.' There are complications but they won't end up mattering. There are a few ways to say 'humanity' but they all start man(n)-; we can have our pick of -kin or -kind to end it but -kin is more common, which in PN is *kunja. But the 'man' words in early Germanic languages are a little weird. Sometimes it has one n, sometimes two; it's always two in Old Norse, but it's hard to say if that was true in elder runic language. Fortunately we can sidestep this: in most runes you only write a letter once, even if the sound is long. But to use a connecting vowel or not? Gothic has compounds in mana-, manna-, man-, and mann-. So *man(n)akunja or *man(n)kunja? Well, as Martin Syrett (1994) pounds out, Germanic in general and Gothic in particular are not consistent when it comes to stem vowels in compounds. There's a tendency to spread -a- as a connecting vowel even where it doesn't belong. So we should feel pretty safe that even if *man(n)akunja isn't the inherited form from Proto-Germanic, it was always a possibility. Finally, worst comes to worst, you could just let ᛗ stand for the whole word, given that it's the 'man' rune anyway.

Last, we'll have to put that in the genitive case to make it 'of mankind.' We don't have examples of neuter ja-stems in the genitive from the Elder Futhark but there isn't really strong reason to believe it wasn't *-jas, so: *kunjas.

We've arrived at my answer:

*þonaraʀ warjaʀ *man(n)akunjas þonaraʀ warijaʀ manakunjas ᚦᛟᚾᚨᚱᚨᛉ ᛬ ᚹᚨᚱᛁᛃᚨᛉ ᛬ ᛗᚨᚾᚨᚲᚢᚾᛃᚨᛊ

Anyway I hope you don't mind me going completely over the top answering this, I don't think I realized before starting to answer this that I needed to get it out of my system.