#not linking that post anymore. all of y'all are too sweet 😭

[hislittleraincloud]

...I keep forgetting that I operate in dark mode, and that my posts look like shit because I never bothered to fix the HTML on this blog.

This isn't how that looks for me. This is what it's supposed to look like

I'm not gonna ask how to fix it because I know how to fix it (I've had a Tumblr since 2011), I'm just super lazy and old and didn't feel like fixing it before when I made this thing. But I fell asleep (AGAIN 😭) last night before I could drag the laptop out and do something about it (since it's now linked on IG, I need to) and to place existing scenes for 8.

Meh, I need a shower. And to take my pain meds since the thing I fell asleep with (arm pain) hasn't subsided. I have no explanation for it, but sometimes I feel like my arm bones are on fire. Doctor knows, doesn't care enough to send a Poor off to testing (I get state funded care, YAY 😐... it's not as great as y'all super lefties want to make it sound). I've suffered from physical pain my whole life.

My first real/full sentence as a child was "My knee hurts." I remember because I was tiny and they were trying to get me to walk, and I never cried or talked much as a kid ('shy' is what I was labeled) because I was too frustrated with being unable to articulate what was on my mind...but once I figured out how, I articulated all sorts of weird shit that freaked my parents out, like when I was around 3½ I just suddenly said to my father (after watching Sesame Street) that "If 1 plus 1 is 2, then 1 minus 2 is minus 1." I remember the look on my father's face and he asked me to explain. I tried writing it out, but yanno, I was 3, and I hated what my numbers looked like (I did try my best...watching SS did help a lot with that) but the most I felt I could do at that point was draw, so I drew circle blobs to explain it. I hate math with a burning passion, but I guess I was thinking about it because Sesame Street encouraged that kind of thought (I don't think it does anymore, and most all of the kids shows now suck).

I remember a lot. Photographic memory for a lot of it. (Which is the true condition of Jonathan Miller and Cairo Sweet. Bartlett is an idiot and used 'eidetic', but that's a falsehood that 'eidetic' and photographic memory are the same. They're not...which goes to show how much of a dumbass a graduate from Brown can be. But I continue to use eidetic in the UVCniverse because it's canon...no other reason.) The extent of it isn't all that great, but the scenarios/happenings in my head are vivid; but this body pain memory is super vivid, right down to me feeling like I'm experiencing it all over again. It's something I can never forget, no matter what I do to distract myself (and I've never been a really positive thinker). Pain management is a big part of why I'm such a big fucking stoner, and sometimes the reason why I fall asleep (escaping the pain).

I'll stop whining now...but to reiterate what's in the caps, there's no way I can get anything Afterburnish published in nine days. Maybe, maybe I can get 'In Three Bites' done, but no guarantees on that bc I'm tryna ignore it to work on 8. It's a little hard to ignore when it's so much more playful and light than Afterburn, and I need a little bit of that right now.

Begone, foul temptress! ...Meh, okay, you can stay. 🫠