#not just because it's neutral by default but because of the fundamental belief that modded xan manages to instill in me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sovonight · 1 year ago

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sometimes i order a piece of clothing that turns out to be constructed so very carefully for a body that could never resemble my own that tailoring isn't even an option; the only possible courses of action available to me are to tear apart all the seams and attempt to patch it together into something new, which would take far more pain and effort than starting from scratch to begin with and would never be as beautiful as the potential of the original garment, or to just call it a loss and move on. that piece of clothing is bg 3

#bg 1 on the other hand is soooo tailorable--#not just because it's neutral by default but because of the fundamental belief that modded xan manages to instill in me #that if i could just speak to him outside of the confines of the script's dialogue options for a second... he would understand #like genuinely cringely that belief is present for me and it's why i'm ok dedicating so much time to tailoring him for me #meanwhile i dont believe similarly for anyone in bg 3 #my belief in bg 3 is that the LI would go 'ok bye' or 'but we can still fuck though right' or 'so basically we're just friends'#trying to believe otherwise is SOOO much work. and even if i modded it all... i'd still remember how it was originally!#i need the daydreaming to be effortless. i need to see the potential. i simply don't here #now if someone comes out with a brand new full companion mod--THEN we might be talking #if someone comes out with a full game replacer where bg 1 is recreated in bg 3--THEN i might return #until then?? it doesn't fit right. it doesn't fit right So Badly that there's no fixing it without a disproportionate amount of work

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