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quazartranslates · 3 years ago

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Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH12

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 12: Resurrection Overture (XII) {cw: brief suicide mention}

After this day's hellish diving training, Qi Leren, who was as heavy as lead, had no strength to climb aboard. He was floating on his back beneath the boat like a miserable little mermaid under the gaze of Chen Baiqi's disdain. Finally, Chen Baiqi dragged him back onto the boat.

On the way back, Qi Leren slept as if dead. When he was woken up by the coastal evening wind, Qi Leren suddenly sat up and the coat that had been covering him slipped down. It was Chen Baiqi’s.　

"What time is it?" Qi Leren asked in a hoarse voice. He remembered that it was about five o'clock when he’d come back, but after entering the border of Dusk where it was sunset all day, it was difficult to tell the time.　

"It's seven o'clock," Chen Baiqi said without looking back as she kneeled on the bow against the wind. "You can hurry home after you wake up, but don't expect me to carry you back."　

Qi Leren responded. After a short sleep, his spirit was much better and he could walk.　

The two people got off the boat together. Chen Baiqi put her hands in her pockets with a cigarette in her mouth and looked at the distant sunset with empty eyes, her expression unreadable.　

"Thank you," Qi Leren suddenly said.　

"Hmm?" Chen Baiqi was puzzled.　

When he first woke up, Qi Leren was slow to respond, but now he had recovered. How could it take two hours to sail from Undead Island to Sunset Island’s port? The ship had already landed, but Chen Baiqi hadn't woken him up after seeing that he was tired enough to sleep. She’d smoked on bow for two hours, waiting for him to wake up. In this world where time was life, she had expended two hours for a person who wasn’t even a formal disciple… No, it took far more time than two hours. This kindness was tantamount to a life-saving grace.　

"Nothing, just wanted to thank you." Qi Leren said sincerely, "For many things... I should thank you."　

The two of them having arrived at an intersection, Chen Baiqi was going back to her store to have dinner with her sister, and Qi Leren was going back to Dr. Lu where he was still spending the night.　

Chen Baiqi stopped and stamped out the cigarette butt: "It's no use thanking me. Come and show me your potential."　

"I’ll work hard."　

"I’ll watch it, too," Chen Baiqi said, then turned and left, waving goodbye at him over her back.　

Qi Leren stood in silence for a moment, looking at Chen Baiqi’s back. She really was a woman with many stories and many worries, but she refused to sell her own stories and was reluctant to share her past. She was tightly wrapped in secrets, and no one knew her age. Even the name Chen Baiqi didn’t seem to be her real name.　　

What had she done in the real world? What kind of experiences had she had in the Nightmare World? Why did she want to adopt a player's child and love her as a sister? How was her half-field broken? Qi Leren didn’t know any of this. His understanding of Chen Baiqi was limited to the words she had revealed—she had once worked in the Heresy Court of the Trials Court, was an assassin who mainly focused on intelligence and assassination, and had a summoning book that sealed many strange creatures, which were accumulated when she traveled in the Nightmare World.　　

He wondered if he could be as strong as Chen Baiqi once he had spent eight years in the Nightmare World. He should be able to, at least, as long as his luck didn’t stop him from reaching his eighth year. Qi Leren gave a wry smile in his heart, got rid of the idea, and set foot on his way home.　　

When he returned to Dr. Lu's clinic, Dr. Lu was treating a familiar young man and nagged, "Jumped from the third floor? I see you’re young, why do you want to die like this? Do you think you’re a superhero? Doesn’t it hurt to jump from the third floor in one breath? Sometimes people jump off buildings. If you can stop it, stop it. Otherwise, forget it. What kind of hero is that? Hey, you’re back? I'm starving for dinner right now."　　

The young man who was being treated by "Doctor’s Orders" also turned his head and leapt up from his chair in surprise: "Qianbei! Long time no see! How have you been recently? I thought about it, and the house should be returned to you. It was originally your house. I'll find another residence. I have a lot of time to live now!"　　

"It doesn't matter, I live here as well," Qi Leren said in a reserved way.　　

The last time when he signed the confidentiality agreement with Du Yue, he’d felt that he was very sorry for the other. How dare he take the house back?　　

Recently, he had had to buy an extra bed. Otherwise Dr. Lu, who was grudgingly made to sleep on the sofa, would have continued to look at him bitterly and even dare to be angry at this “evil guest” who had taken over his nest. 　　

Du Yue looked at Qi Leren, who refused to move back, as if he was wronged. He lowered his head like a big dog who had been reprimanded by his master. Dr. Lu looked at him pitifully and invited him to have dinner with them. Du Yue immediately perked up: "Good, good, I have no place to eat!"　　

So the meal became three people together. If Qi Leren's training ended early, he would come back to cook. If it ended late, Dr. Lu would do it. Dr. Lu's culinary skills were not bad. You could see it from how Du Yue ate three bowls in one go.　　

After dinner, Du Yue rushed to wash the dishes. Qi Leren and Dr. Lu had a brief exchange about today's events.　　

"Du Yue had come several times even before you came back. I'm telling you, he's a personal event trigger! Almost every time, it was a courageous injury. Walking on the road the day before yesterday, he witnessed a robbery. He went up and beat the robber who then stabbed him. Today, he met a pregnant woman who wanted to jump off a building. He saved her but fell off himself. Fortunately, only his arm was broken..." Dr. Lu gushed about Du Yue's glorious deeds, and he was very optimistic about this young man.　　

"Are you talking about me?" Du Yue came out of the kitchen after washing the dishes.　　

"Yes, talking about the series of accidents that you’ve encountered almost daily," Dr. Lu smiled.　　

Du Yue scratched his head and said with a silly smile: "It's okay… It’s not every day."　　

"Does it have to happen every day?" Qi Leren vomited a sentence.　　

"Is the pregnant woman you saved today okay?" Dr. Lu asked smoothly.　　

"Okay? Ah, Her friend persuaded her to go with her after a while and asked for my contact information, saying that she would like to thank me next time," Du Yue said.　　

"If you want an abortion, between the Village of Dusk’s medical facilities plus the monthly tasks, isn’t it only too easy?" Dr. Lu said.　　

"Yes, that's what I told them."　　

A young man who had just grown up and a young man who looked like he was underage talked seriously about the problem of pregnancy and childbirth. This picture was a bit funny. After listening for a while, Qi Leren suddenly remembered the laptop. He quickly got up and said, "You two take your time talking, I’m going to go for a walk."　　

After leaving Dr. Lu's clinic, Qi Leren followed the address that Chen Baiqi had given him before, and went to find the house of the tech savvy player who was still alive.　　

The place where the player lived wasn’t far from Dr. Lu's clinic. Qi Leren was still worried that he still hadn’t come back after leaving for his task. However, this time he was lucky. After ringing the doorbell, a mechanical voice that sounded like a young girl came from behind the door: "Master is busy. What can I do for you?"

"Hello, I was referred by Chen Baiqi. I need to make an electronic appliance please," Qi Leren said.　　

"Just a moment, please."

After a few minutes, the door opened and Qi Leren saw at a glance that the three foot tall robot on the ground looked like a moving trash can. It opened the shoe rack and found a pair of shoe covers for Qi Leren: "Please come with me."　　

It was indeed a high-tech house. Qi Leren sighed with emotion in his heart and followed the little robot all the way to the basement.　　

The basement was very big. After Qi Leren went in, he suddenly saw a screen on the wall facing him!　　

However, it wasn’t like the HD display screens common in the real world, it was like the oldest gray TV screens in an antique shop. There were constantly black and white pixels moving on this display screen, which was actually playing a simple shooting game like a computer in the 1980s!　　

As Qi Leren approached, the man who had his back to him as he watched the screen suddenly lost the game, one hand coming down on the table: "Shit, lost again!"　　

"Hello." Qi Leren made a noise.　　

The man's back froze and he turned slowly. He was a young man with glasses who looked a little dull: "...Oh, hello."　　

Qi Leren felt that he was more nervous than him. His voice was a little shaky and he stuttered a little, obviously the type that didn’t have contact with others often.　　

After Qi Leren stated his purpose, the techy suddenly got excited: "Did you bring your laptop into the game? Sell it to me, I’ll pay a high price!"　　

Qi Leren suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, not to mention that the laptop was still in Schrodinger's state, appearing and disappearing irregularly. Even if the laptop was in his item bar now, he couldn't give it to others. But if he refused this person's request, would he still help him make the charger or transformer? He had to find a suitable reason...　　

Qi Leren secretly gritted his teeth and made a decision.　　

"No, there’s very important information on it. I can't give it to anyone," Qi Leren resolutely said.　　

"I can print the information for you!" the techy said enthusiastically, without stuttering.　　

"This... is not that kind of information." Qi Leren looked embarrassed and his eyes wandered. "It's the kind of... hundreds of G, you know..."　　

The techy’s eyes grew brighter: "Dude! I haven't seen a movie in such a long time! Sell it to me! Lend it to me without selling it!"　　

Qi Leren coughed twice: "To tell you the truth, all I watched were pure men's shootouts..."　　

The techy was stunned for a moment, then resolutely insisted: "It's okay, anti-Japanese drama, gun battle film, American blockbuster, I watched all of these."　　

Qi Leren covered his forehead: "I'm talking about GV, GayVideo, a film made by a group of men, understand!"　　

"................I understand."　　

In order to keep the laptop far away, Qi Leren, who did not hesitate to destroy his image, showed a kind smile: "Do you want to see it? I have quite a few varieties there, from gangbang to S/M to people and animals-"　　

"No, I, I, I, I, I still like girls."　　

"Oh, that's a pity," Qi Leren said regretfully.　　

After he dispelled the techy’s idea of buying the laptop off him, Qi Leren quickly finalized this order with him: to make a mobile power supply that could be externally connected to a laptop, which was equivalent to a large charging battery—"When I go to a copy task without electricity, I also want to watch these films to reduce stress." Quote by a serious Qi Leren.　　

"By the way, make another transformer, because the voltage in the Village of Dusk is different from that in the real world—of course, you should watch movies to relax when you’re in the Village of Dusk." Quote by a still serious Qi Leren.　　

The techy wanted to warn him that "a little joy hurts his body". In particular, he looked at Qi Leren walking a little bit. He looked like he was worn out and exhausted. He was finally defeated by Qi Leren’s kind smile and closed his mouth silently.　　

Out of the techy’s house, Qi Leren gave a long sigh. Today, he once again made himself into a gay man with strange taste. He was still a wretched gay man who watched hardcore porn every day. It seemed that the path to building an upright image only grew longer.

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Editor’s Notes: Happy first day of pride month, everyone! 🌈

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#Welcome to the Nightmare Game #欢��来到噩梦游戏 #danmei

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense.

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex.

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈ ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈ THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now.

tarot mlist | ko-fi

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for anon:

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts tarot reading #tarot #long post

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reading-renditions · 7 years ago

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A new post was just published on Reading Renditions! Come check it out!

New Post has been published on http://readingrenditions.ca/index.php/2017/11/23/christmas-gift-ideas-electronically-disinclined/

Christmas Gift Ideas for the Electronically Disinclined

Holidays are hectic. It’s an established fact. With all the parties, get-togethers, dinners, celebrations, gift-giving, and well-wishing, it’s a wonder you even have time to sit down! Like you’ve been wanting to do since the season started.

It’s cold, dammit!

However, the most expansive time-sink BY FAR is gift-giving. Going out to all the different stores to find that PERFECT shirt or that AMAZING new game takes AT LEAST a day, maybe more if you have an extensive family. Deciding just what to get those special, gift-worthy people in your life is stressful, time-consuming, and just all-around a bad time.

But worry not!

Lucky for you, children are especially easy to divide into clean, clear-cut categories based on their interests and likes. This makes shopping for them a simple matter of knowing what the latest trends in these areas are. We’ll do everyone a favor and skip over toys, clothes, and other non-confusing options and go straight to the real head-scratcher here.

Electronics.

If you don’t know the difference between gigabits and gigabytes, why it’s RAM and not LAN, or what, exactly, a graphics card is, have no fear.

I’m here to help.

All of these gift ideas will be for the Canadian side of Amazon (except for the Google Home series), but you can easily switch over to the US side of things. Simply go up to the address bar and change the .ca to .com

E-Readers

Reading is an enjoyable past-time that many people today still find time for, even in the midst of their busy schedules. School might get in the way, work might butt in, but they’ll get back to that book eventually.

However, it can get a little tiring to lug all those books around with you. At the very least, you need to take the book you’re reading and a backup book in case you finish that one. If you’re like me, you also probably have a few others in your bag in case you get bored with the ones you’re reading.

Enter e-readers.

E-readers are a kind of tablet that have one singular purpose – reading. A single e-reader can hold thousands of books, and if you want a new one, you only need internet access to download it.

E-readers have come a long way in a short time, and there’s many different kinds out on the market. But don’t worry! Down below, you’ll see a few of my recommendations.

Kindle – The most basic option, this e-reader has all the features that make an e-reader a good gift. The screen gives off almost no glare, even in direct sunlight, and reads like paper. The battery can last weeks on a single charge, depending on the screen brightness and other options. And of course, wi-fi allows it to connect directly to the Amazon e-book store.

The screen is a bit lower quality than the other options, but that’s forgivable.

Kindle Paperwhite – In addition to no glare, long battery life, and wi-fi, this reader has a few more perks. The screen is twice as clear as the basic Kindle; that together with Amazon’s Bookerly font means that eyestrain is vastly reduced. As well, it comes with built in LEDs to light up the screen for easy reading at night. No more struggling with a flashlight!

This model is actually on sale right now. Get it for only $20 more than the basic model!

Kindle Voyage – Admittedly, this one is only a slight upgrade from the Paperwhite. Two more LEDs offer brighter and more uniform illumination at night, and the PagePress system allows you to turn the page with only a slight bit of pressure. As well, the slimmer design means it’s even lighter than the Kindle and the Paperwhite

Kindle Oasis – The all-new Kindle experience, just released this year. An inch more of screen means that you get even more text per page, and even less eye strain. In addition, this is the first model to be truly waterproof, reportedly able to survive up to 60 minutes in fresh water. No need to panic if you slip in the bath or knock over a drink.

It has 12 integrated LEDs for nighttime reading, and the 32 GB option means you can carry four times the number of titles with you. The thinnest Kindle yet, its aluminum back and strong cover glass means that it weighs less than any of the other models.

Headphones

Headphones are a mainstay for the holiday season. Everybody likes music is some form or another, and even if they (somehow) don’t, they like movies or TV or gaming or what-have-you. They’re less intrusive than speakers, and some of them come with microphones built in!

You might be asking why you should pay all this extra money when you can find perfectly good headphones at the dollar store. Well, you get what you pay for: dollar store headphones break easily and offer less sound quality. It’s like the difference between VHS and DVD; functionally the same, but inferior.

The lower price of most earbuds mean they’re better as stocking-stuffers, but headphones offer far superior sound quality. However, take note of whether the receiver has glasses or not. A lot of over-ear headphones press the arms of the glasses into the wearer’s temples, making it painful to wear them for long. Earbuds are more suited for wear with glasses, unless the headphones are loose enough to not press down.

Earbuds

MXditect 2-pack – A modest 2-pack of earbuds. The cord is covered with anti-tangle, anti-kink material, and includes a button to control calls and music as well as a slider for volume. Almost 1,000 reviews give it a solid five stars. Best of all, if you have Amazon prime you can get next-day shipping.

Aitalk E260 – For those who like to take their music on the go, these over-ear headphones keep the cord out of the way and the buds in your ears. Perfect for those that like to jog or run to music and are always complaining about their tunes falling out of their ears. Offers 2-day shipping.

SD Flayer – For something a bit pricier, these specially-designed headphones have an extra little rubber bit that braces the bud on the inside of the ear. Crystal clear sound and kink-resistant cord means only the best for your little beatmaster. Comes with a silk carrying bag and a gift box.

Shure Series – And here we have the obligatory ‘dear lord what is that price’ option, for those who were REALLY impressed by their (grand)children this year. The Shure series of earbuds are designed to slip into the ear and form a tight seal, offering noise-cancelling effects even as they improve comfort and design. The model linked, the SE215-K, features a detachable able for easy customization (but not wireless play). It also includes the option to purchase a different wire with music/call control buttons.

Headphones

Cowin E7 – Now on sale for $80 when they’re usually $200, these wireless headphones include a built-in microphone, noise-cancelling tech, and NFC pairing. That last one means you only need to bring the headphones close to the thing you’re trying to connect them to to make them connect. Handy! With 30 hours of battery life and coming in a gift box, these are perhaps the perfect gift – while the sale lasts.

E-Sports – In case the sale ends, these wireless headphones offer basically the same function with less quality. Connects easily with Bluetooth, has a built-in mic, and offers noise-cancelling effects. Free shipping, too!

Audio-Technica ATH-M50x/ATH-M40x – Both of these models of Audio-Technica headsets are on sale right now. I would honestly go with the M50x over the M40x, if only because the sale is for a lot more. Although these headphones don’t come with microphones, they’re critically acclaimed by professionals everywhere for their quality and performance. If your (grand)child is serious about their music mixing and doesn’t already have a pro setup, this is for them.

Speakers

Speakers are a must for anyone who likes music. Whether it’s to share beats with friends or to get an impromptu dance party going, no kid or adult can fail to get excited at a quality speaker. Especially if it’s wireless!

VicTsing Shower Speaker – Half off right now at only $26, this waterproof Bluetooth speaker is perfect for the kid who can’t stay away from their tunes. Of course, the shower isn’t the only place they can use it; the suction cup and built-in mic means that hands-free music and phone calls can happen in the car, while they’re doing the dishes, or anywhere else that requires two hands.

Altec Lansing iMW575 – Just because summer is six months away doesn’t mean you can’t start preparing now. On sale now for $70 off, this floating, waterproof Bluetooth speaker is perfect for pumping up the tunes in the pool. Parties, get-togethers, or even just a fun day with the family, this speaker does it all. Voice command also lets you answer phone calls hands free, without even getting out of the water.

Tsumbay – This one isn’t waterproof unfortunately, but that’s alright! With a $30 price-point and 12 modes for its LED light, this speaker is more suited to relaxing in the backyard after a long day. Play music through Bluetooth, off an SD card, or even pick up radio stations! Answering calls is also supported.

Mics and Webcams

For that movie-maker or up-and-coming YouTuber, microphones and webcams are the perfect holiday surprise. Laptop defaults don’t really cut it if you’re trying to pump out a hit YouTube series or shoot the next big blockbuster. HD quality is a must if you don’t want people to leave, and these products are the best!

Mics

Neewer NW-700 (w/ Scissor Mount) – This professional-grade mic is perfect for picking up sounds directly in front of it. Meaning, if your gift-getter is into recording their own vocals, voice-acting, or any kind of broadcast, this is for them. YouTubers, podcasters, and recording artists will all benefit from this mic. And for $20 more, you can get it shipped with a scissor mount. Easily adjust the microphone for sitting or standing, and make sure that lisping, static, and annoying white noise is a thing of the past.

Blue Snowball iCE – For something a little more portable, the Blue Snowball iCE mic is great, especially for the relatively cheap price. Clear audio for podcasts, video recording, interviews, and field work. Not intended for professional or studio quality, but for streaming games it works fairly well. It’s recommended you get a different stand though, the one that comes with it is terrible.

Audio Technica AT2020 – Currently on sale for $60 off, this mid-range microphone is another ‘get-what-you-pay-for’ type situation. This is more for music recording than podcasts, so if your intended recipient is an aspiring YouTuber or podcaster, this isn’t for them. It’s not going to win you any awards, but the sound and quality is good enough for first-time vocals and guitar recording. The only thing is, it doesn’t have a USB, so you’ll need an extra cable to connect it to the computer. You can find one here.

Webcams

Microsoft Lifecam HD-3000 – A starter model from Microsoft, this cam is slightly better than the stock cam in a laptop but not professional by any means. If your burgeoning YouTuber is just starting out or not very serious, this is the perfect model. Currently on sale for $15 off.

Logitech Webcam HD Pro C920 – An HD webcam with built-in microphones, this cam is perfect for the recorder that’s just gaining some traction with their videos but is still a long way off from going viral. Currently on sale for $40 off. If this isn’t quite enough, there are more expensive versions available on the same page, including the next model.

Logitech Webcam HD Pro C930 – Business-grade recording at 30 frames per second (only one level down from professional grade) means that this is the best model available for a recorder on the cusp of fame. Tilt, zoom, pan, and built-in mics make it the full package, and the $55 discount doesn’t hurt either.

Computer Mouse

Computer mice aren’t a very involved topic unless you’re trying to become a pro gamer. For a casual Christmas gift, the mice listed below are more than enough.

Pictek 7200 DPI – You might think that wireless is the way to go for a mouse, but that’s not always the case. When playing a game that requires quick movements like Overwatch or Counter Strike, wires make you just a bit faster. That bit is important to gamers. Trust me. With it on sale for $15 off, it’s the perfect time to get it!

VicTsing Mini – That being said, not everyone got the memo about wires. If your gift getter simply insists on wireless, this would be the way to go. Five DPI (speed) levels and cool LED lighting that comes in two colors. It’s also got noiseless clicking, which is handy when they stay up late to game. On sale for $20 off.

Zelotes 7200 DPI – Another wired option with funky LED with much the same features as the Pictek. Not just for gaming either; can be used for visual design and other artistic applications. A solid option, especially since it’s on sale for $25 off.

Digital Assistant

Digital assistants are small, mug-sized towers that sit in your home and listen for your voice. When you say the keyword out loud (OK Google, Hey Alexa), you can issue voice commands to them. They can search Google, make purchases, remind you of things, set calendar events, play music, look up the weather, and even control other smart devices in your home!

There are currently two main competitors in the digital assistant market. The Amazon Echo series, and the Google Home series.

Amazon Echo

Echo – The basic model of the Echo series, the Amazon Echo can sync up to smart devices around your home as well as other products from the Echo series. Connected to the internet, it has a slew of useful ‘skills’, such as making reminders, sending emails, and playing music off of Spotify and other platforms. It’s a perfect midway point for someone who likes music but doesn’t have a lot of smart devices.

Echo Dot – Half the size of the Echo, the only thing missing from this model is the 60mm speaker. It can still serve your needs perfectly well with the 16mm one, but the sound will be diminished and tinny. You can connect it to a speaker over cord or Bluetooth, but otherwise this one isn’t recommended for music.

Echo Plus – The Plus has all the functionality of the Dot and the Echo, but with an extra ZigBee smart home hub. This means that it’s extremely easy to connect those fancy WiFi light bulbs to the Plus. More than the other two, which require either extra apps on your phone or even additional hardware. For instance, for one of the aforementioned app light bulbs, you need a special plug off Amazon for $10.

Basically, if the person you’re buying for has a lot of wireless smart devices, get the Plus. If they like listening to music and don’t have many smart devices, get the Echo. And if they don’t have many smart devices and don’t care about listening to music out loud, get the Dot.

Google Home

Google Home – Basically the same functionality as the Echo series, but has the added benefit of belonging to Google. This means that it’s better at some things, like searching videos on YouTube, translating to different languages, using Gmail, and searching Google. Another advantage it has is native support of most smart devices, meaning that you don’t need some special plug for it to be able to control your WiFi light bulbs.

Google Home Mini – On sale now for 50% off, the only real difference between the Home and the Mini is that the volume and mic sensitivity is lessened in the Mini. If playing music and being far away isn’t that integral to the gift receiver, this one is perfect.

Roku

The Roku is small device that plugs into an HDMI port on a TV. Connected to the internet, it allows the user to watch TV shows and movies from a bunch of different sites and apps. If your gift receiver doesn’t have cable or satellite in their dorm room or house, this is the perfect Christmas gift.

There are a bunch of different models that offer crisper images, clearer audio, faster loading, or simpler controls, but the basic model can be found here.

Keurig

Aaaah, the Keurig. My favorite non-computer electronic in the entire apartment. Keurigs are a line of one-cup coffeemakers that use a pod-based system. You buy K-Cups from retailers, put one in the machine, fill with water, and press the button.

Just don’t forget the cup.

There are dozens, if not hundreds of companies that have jumped on the K-Cup train. Fresh, quality coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and other beverages over in your cupboard is too tempting to resist. Starbucks, Tim Hortons, and Dunkin Donuts all have their own line of K Cups.

There are a few different models of Keurig machines, but the functionality doesn’t really differ between them. The only thing that changes is how often you need to refill it and the customization options. Some have ways to change the strength of the brew, some have screen displays. They all brew coffee.

Here they are, in order of cost.

K15 – On sale for $20 off; smallest reservoir and no extras

K50 – On sale for $30 off; slightly bigger reservoir

B130 – On sale for $50 off; desk version, brews only one cup before needing more water

K200 – On sale for $30 off; bigger reservoir, small greyscale touch screen, coffee strength control

K425 – On sale for $20 off; large reservoir, small color touch screen, coffee strength control

K525 – Huge reservoir, large color touch screen, coffee strength control

If these are too pricey, or they already have a Keurig, consider buying them some accessories. Reusable K-Cups, a drawer for their different coffees, or a coffee sampler pack are all amazing gifts on their own.

Amazon Gift Card

If you absolutely cannot figure out if they’d like any one of these gifts, an Amazon gift card in a nifty Santa tin is acceptable. It’s an easy way to allow them to pick out what they want. And with quick shipping, it’s like they got it for Christmas anyways!

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