#not everyone is 100% gay and only sleeps with cis gendered individuals of their preferred sexuality's gender expression

[freckledsweetpea]

like...the bisexuals are literally calling your names and you're all worried like "but but what if they leave me for the opposite gender that would be more devastating than if they left me for the same gender"

DOES IT MATTER? Y'ALL OPPOSITED YOUR GENDERS. get multiple grips. there are more extremely queer (aka not interested in blending in with straights) bisexuals than anyone thinks.

the assumed rigidity of queerness is so stifling.

[vtori73]

CW for mentions of sexual harassment/assault:

Twitter really has become the new Tumblr huh? I only say this because I haven't really seen the discourse over bi/pan lesbians hit here. Maybe it's because I follow less people and the people I do follow don't care/or understand it's harmful rhetoric.

If anyone who follows me is against the term would you be willing to explain any valid points as to why its bad because ALL of the ones I've seen are just horribly bad or are a revival of the old "gold star lesbian" shit.

One of the main points that I've seen getting parroted and such by Lesbians is "lesbians don't like men and the term forces men onto lesbians!!!"

Now there are a couple reasons why this is an insidious point.

This talking point is spreading false info in that all bi, mspec's have to be attracted to men or otherwise they aren't bi. I thought we were past the whole "bi people are attracted to men/women" definition crap but I guess not. The Bi community overall accepts and prefers the definition of "attracted to 2 or more genders." So already just based off of this your point is not only wrong but ignorant and even at worst biphobic.

Another reason this is insidious is because this literally was a talking point that was used VERY much by terfs & terf lesbians against trans women. Who exactly is counted as a man by your criteria? Maybe you say you include trans women and non-binary individuals but what about those who do identify with man-hood/masculinity? What about those whose gender and sexuality isnt set in stone and changes? What about butch trans and enbies? Whose criteria are we exactly following and why is it okay to gatekeep in this way when it literally identical to all other gatekeeping tactics and rhetoric that's been used in the past? This stuff hurts everyone who doesn't fit neatly into a box and only benefits those who want to be palatable to Cisgender heterosexual allos.

The other reasons this point sucks ass because it's literally a victim blaming narrative. Why does the blame of predatory men lie on a label and NOT on the men??? Also... this point whether intentionally or not makes it out to seem like anyone who holds attraction to men is to blame for being harassed and assaulted by them and that is just awful especially considering Bisexual and probably any other mspec people have HIGHER rates of sexual harassment/assault then Lesbian or Gay people. So are you saying because of who we are/our sexuality we should expect it? Also that somehow a label will protect you from cis men is laughable... I bet some of the same people who are saying this now have in the past said or liked something thats complained about men still hitting on them despite the fact that they told them they were a Lesbian. Entitled men DO NOT care what your sexuality is, if they perceive you as a women then the will feel they are entitled to you.

One thing that also isn't 100% relevant is I also see Lesbians complaining about the label because they don't want outsiders invading it and "why can't we have something to ourselves." I mean... why are y'all so obsessed on the idea of sepereating y'all's community from anyone else? I don't think any other sexuality does this. Gay has LITERALLY become an umbrella term for almost anyone, Bi is an umbrella term, Trans is an umbrella term, these communities already share spaces with other identities not 100% like them so why are y'all so against sharing your space with others? What exactly makes us so different that you can't stand to share a space with bi and non-binary (that don't fit your standards) people?

This all really is just a revival of the same shit that happened back in the day, history repeats itself if you don't learn from it and this is just a great example of that.

Edit: oh shit I forgot one point but real quickly let me clarify why I said "revival of gold star lesbian rhetoric." Whether these Lesbians want to admit it or not they ARE attacking their own community with this bullshit, the one they are specifically claiming they're trying to protect who only identify as Lesbian. There are probably already Lesbians who use the label but DO feel attraction to men whether it had been once in the past or an occasional bleep in their life that they don't think it relevant and may or may not have slept with men. Do these Lesbians still get to use the label and be in the community? What if their attraction isn't due to comphet, what if they don't regret sleeping with the men they did? Do they still count now???

Either way you try to slice and dice this rhetoric, I've found none of it makes sense and only will do more harm then good.