#not even alison bechdel can save me so I'm Fucked /j | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cilantroodon · 10 months ago

Text

it's not that I didn't feel loved by mama as a kid OR that I don't feel loved by her now. it's that if I knew, as a kid, what I know now, I would not have felt loved then. which. dunno what to do with that feeling

#like I retroactively feel that the relationship has been repaired but it was never bad to start with #*I* severed it a bit in high school out of anger (would have done so more but had no power to lol)#all the parental relational trauma lit talks about childhood and adulthood but what about the teens who had great childhoods #& go on to have happy adulthoods #what about the teens having a shit time?? I feel crazy does anyone have a resource? my kingdom for a Resource?#I'm so afraid to start therapy again because what if I need my fear responses 🧍what about my lifesaving “overblown” fear responses #'work on not shutting down/lashing out/ruminating/fawning when-' I NEED TO! I NEED TO TO LIVE! AM I CRAZY???#not even alison bechdel can save me so I'm Fucked /j #my first instinct is always to talk to mama about it 🧍and what's worse is it helps 90% of the time❗absurd #in which thon speaks

6 notes · View notes