#not bringing shoes to a heist in hell... she's so insane but it's not my fault

[divorcedwife]

take the money and run

[cptn-stvngrntrgrs]

Fic: Sign of the Times

Relationship: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff

Summary:

His job is simple - return the stones and try not to mess up. Then come back to the present, live his life with his best friends. But he knew. He knew he can’t come back. Not if she’s not with him. But if what if they can start all over again? -- Just stop your crying Have the time of your life Breaking through the atmosphere And things are pretty good from here Remember everything will be alright We can meet again somewhere Somewhere far away from here

Also on AO3!

She isn’t coming back.

Steve still has trouble wrapping this idea around his head. She was just gone for a minute and she promised to see him after that, but she never did.

At that moment, Steve knew. This fight is all or nothing, whatever it takes. The anger and pure sadness are fighting for dominance, but both are crushing his heart. The devastation of Natasha’s loss was something he was never prepared for; something he never thought he would experience again. He remembered this feeling, pain so raw that he thought his heart was going to burst. The only time he felt this way was seeing Bucky fall from that train and waking up in the 21st century, taking in the fact that his old life was gone. And it really was.

That was, until Natasha came. She came into his life with her sarcasm and wit and humor, and the fact that she can totally beat Steve in combat. Her fearless and selfless nature that mirrors Steve’s; making her his true partner. But now she’s also gone.

Anger overtook sadness then. He wants to crush Thanos. He wants him to pay for Nat’s death. But most importantly, he wants them to win. For her. So her life being gone wouldn’t be in vain.

---

If Steve was being honest, he thought he was done for. With his shield breaking and Thanos and his army gaining advantage, he didn’t think they’d stand a chance. But alas, they had to try - he had to try. That’s what Nat would’ve done - fight til the end.

Everyone came back and they had done it - they won. But god, at what cost?

---

Clint insisted that Natasha’s funeral will be held in his farm; it’s only fitting, he said. He hasn’t been the same since Vormir: sure, he’s happy that his family is back, but it’s not complete. And it’s because of him. Steve understands his pain, him being in the same shoes with Bucky all those years ago.

“You loved her,” were the words Clint whispered to him during Nat’s funeral. Since her body wasn’t physically there, they made sure that their memory of hers is. The kids drew pictures of their Auntie Nat and Clint and Steve printed out pictures of them with her. It’s a mini-shrine dedicated to her, overflowing with flowers and pictures of her smile. The kids said a few words to her, and so did Clint. Steve couldn’t bring himself to say anything so he just stayed standing, quietly weeping to himself.

When Clint came back from Vormir alone, there was no time to mourn. They were ambushed and they had a job to do. He didn’t forget her - he never will, nor can he even if he wanted to - but he had something in front of him. Now, everything is final. She really isn't coming back. And Steve is not ready for that.

---

His job is simple - return the stones and try not to mess up. Then come back to the present, live his life with his best friends.

But he knew. He knew he can’t come back. Not if she’s not with him.

Thankfully, Bucky and Sam understood, just like he knew they would. They understood what Natasha meant to him, and as much as he loved them and vice versa, he just couldn’t see living his life without her.

“Hm, maybe you can save me from Hydra,” Bucky suggested. It was the night before Steve travels to put the stones back; their last night with him. “Then we’ll still be together.”

Sam sighed, not really wanting to think about the whole time travel fiasco. “Yeah sure, then when you’re a literal old man when you come back, just give me the shield. We’ll be the newer, cooler duo,” he joked, pointing between him and Bucky.

Steve let out a smile. He’s going to miss them.

---

Steve travelled to 2012 to return the stones and that was when he saw her again, and he felt his breath get caught in his throat. Her bright red hair, her gleaming green eyes. He itched to run to her, to tell them that they’ve won, despite knowing full well she won’t know what he was talking about and just get even more in trouble.

No, but he has a plan.

And he had to make it work.

After dutifully returning the stones from that year, Steve snuck into the tower, making sure that 2012-Steve wasn’t there. He waited on his floor, making himself comfortable in the couch. He looked around and smiled; there were so many good memories in this tower, and felt a pang of pain in his chest knowing that a certain redhead was the reason behind that.

He composed himself together, running his plan in his mind over and over, and convincing himself that it’ll work.

Almost two hours later, the elevator opened and 2012-Steve walked out of it, alone, just as Steve has expected.

“Hey man,” Steve called out, shield in hand, in case that he won’t be treated nicely.

And sure enough, a shield was thrown at him.

“What the hell!” other-Steve shouted out, still in his uniform and looking both parts exhausted and angry and confused, catching his shield back with a frown.

“Listen, I can explain.” Steve said, dropping his shield in front of him and raising his hands up - an indication that he’s harmless. “I’m you. But from 2023.”

2012-Steve had the audacity to roll his eyes. Steve had to stop himself from doing the same. “I don’t know what kind of prank Tony-” he started, but was cut off when Steve started talking.

“My, well, our mother’s name is Sarah Rogers. Back before the serum, you wore newspaper in your shoes and Bucky never let you live it down. He promised to take you the the “future” and took you to Stark’s expo. Do you want me to continue?” he rattled off. These are what he guesses are facts that Steve and only Steve would know, in hopes that he’ll get his past self’s trust.

2012-Steve was staring at him intently, brows still furrowed in confusion, but he too, lowered his shield. He didn’t let go of it, but it’s less… threatening. “Why are you telling me these things?”

“To prove to you that I’m you. But from the future.”

“What do you need from me? Why are you here? How is this even possible?” past-Steve asked in rapid succession, but it looks like he’s finally starting to believe what he’s seeing.

“It’s actually a very long story. Care to sit with me to talk about it?” Steve asked, gesturing to the couch. 2012-Steve nodded and sat across from him, still looking very confused, but he can tell that there’s still fascination and curiosity in his eyes.

Steve launched into the story of basically, everything from that year on. He talked about Thanos, the Time Heist, and Pym Particles, and what his mission was. He’d get a few questions here and there from the other but mostly just little details or clarification. The longest part was about Bucky and everything involving him, but they eventually got over it.

When he finished, 2012-Steve sat back, stared straight ahead in silence, before standing up and getting a bottle of vodka. present-Steve smiled, knowing who got him to start drinking that, knowing full well it won’t affect him.

“So what do you really want then?” 2012-Steve asked, after a couple moments of them passing the bottle between each other and drinking.

“Well, as you know, I could’ve just gone back there like, a couple of days ago. My mission was over,” Steve started to explain, fiddling with his hands. “But I can’t. I can’t go back, not after…” he took a deep breath. “Not after Natasha not making it back.”

2012-Steve raised an eyebrow. Oh. “Were you two…?” he trailed off, knowing that Steve understands the question. Steve nodded and put his hands over his face.

“We were together,” he whispered, gulping as he can feel tears threatening to fall. “I just… she was my everything, you know? I didn’t think I can love like that again, after Peggy, but,” Steve shook his head and smiled bitterly. “I did. I don’t think I loved anyone as much as I love Natasha.”

Steve looked at his past-self. “I know exactly what you’re feeling. It’s almost the same - after waking up from the ice, I don’t see what my purpose here is when everything and everyone I knew was gone. That’s the life that will welcome me if I were to come back to the future. A life without Natasha. I mean, there’s Bucky and Sam, but…”

“It’s just not the same.” 2012-Steve finished for him.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the city getting darker and darker, but also brighter.

“So what do you want me to do?” 2012-Steve asked.

“Go back in time, around the time of the plane crash, so you can live the life you wanted. With Peggy and the Commandos. Maybe even rescue Bucky,” Steve answered.

“While you live your life here in my place, and get to live the life you want with Natasha. And hopefully prevent the whole Thanos thing from happening. From this timeline, at least. Did I guess correctly?” there was a gentle smile in his face - this is such a Steve thing to think of, no matter which timeline he’s from.

Steve chuckled and nodded. “Now, I know it has some concerning things. Like if you were to go back, there will be a Steve in that year that is under the ice. Maybe just… leave him? But I only ask you to explain everything to Peggy and hopefully she’s understand.”

2012-Steve thought about it for a moment before nodding. “You’re insane, but okay, I’ll take it. I just have to ask - why me? Why choose 2012 you?”

“Because I know you. Still fresh from the ice and most of your memories are still from the time before. The 1940s were a mere 6 months ago instead of 70 years. And the girl I love is here.” Steve shrugged. “It just… seemed like it made sense.”

2012-Steve pondered it over. “Yeah… I mean, of course right now, I do like Natasha, but not in that way yet. But,” he sighed, “Peggy… I miss her so much. Wait, didn’t you mention that from your timeline, she got married and had kids with Daniel? What happens if I go back to 1945?”

Steve actually asked Bruce about that, so he was ready. “Nothing. That still happens but in a different timeline. Like I told you, time travel doesn’t exactly create a domino effect.”

Later that night, they set their plan in motion. Steve taught past-Steve what was going to happen. “Remember, get Bucky, okay? You have to rescue him,” Steve reminded him. 2012-Steve nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

In a matter of seconds, he’s gone.

And Steve’s back in 2012. Permanently.

He lied down on the couch and let out a deep sigh. He felt so exhausted, it’s as if everything came crashing down on him all at once.

“Sir, Agent Romanoff is on her way up,” Jarvis alerted him after half an hour of him taking a nap. This made Steve jolt up - it’s been a while since he heard that voice and he smiled to himself.

Steve blinked, standing up to pick up his shield from the ground, placing it in a corner just as Natasha was entering. For a moment, he didn’t know how to react.

“Hey sold- oh!” her greeting was lost in a gasp of surprise as Steve enveloped her in his arms and hugged her tightly. She frowned in confusion but also put her arms around him. She tends to humor the guy.

“Nat, I just… missed you, is all,” he said after letting her go.

“We were just together, like” she checked her watch, “five hours ago,” she glanced up at him, eyebrow raised.

Steve felt his face redden. “Oh, I mean, l - I, just forget about it,” he said sheepishly, averting his eyes away from her.

Natasha laughed - Steve’s favorite sound - and playfully punched his shoulder. “I’m just messin with ya, Cap. I could use a hung here and there sometimes,” she added with a wink. “Now let’s go, the team’s waiting upstairs! You’re the one who wanted to watch Mulan tonight!”

“Of course, Mulan, my favorite movie.” Steve said as they were waiting for the elevator.

Natasha looked up at him in surprise. “I thought we’re watching it tonight because you’ve never watched it before?” she asked, studying his face. Steve gulped and almost told a lie when she spoke again. “Don’t tell me you watched it by yourself!”

Steve shook his head. “No, I just… saw some memes on the Internet comparing you to Mulan. So I guess it would become my favorite movie soon.”

Natasha smiled at that, both of them entering the elevator. “You’re such a sap,” she looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear. When she looked up at him, a smirk was on her lips. “And I’m glad I’m finally getting through you! Look at you, looking up memes! I’m so proud.” she put a hand on her chest to emphasize on this.

Steve tucked his hands in his pockets and bumped his shoulder with her. He loves how comfortable they already are. Well, that’s the thing with them. They’ve always been this way, even in his 2012. After the Battle of New York and they hung out as a team, it’s always been easy for them to just be around each other. It’s mainly the reason why Fury put them together - they just clicked.

When the elevator stopped at the penthouse, Steve put his arm over Natasha’s shoulder casually as they walked to the living room, and he could’ve sworn she leaned into him even just a little bit.

“What, the old man needed some assistance on his way here?” Tony quipped from the couch, where he was already munching on popcorn from a bowl.

Steve took a deep breath and looked around. It’s just the six of them in the floor - like how it’s always been before.

Thor is probably here for a couple of days, which is what he usually did back then. Clint is already halfway to falling asleep, and Bruce is calmly sitting down while drinking tea. Natasha lead them to the couch where she sat next to Clint, and lying his legs over his lap. Clint barely glanced at her before shifting so she could be more comfortable.

Steve sat on the empty spot next to her, and as much as he wanted her to get curled up on his lap like how they usually end up, that didn’t start happening until 2014. This Natasha has no reason to be that close to him, nor does he with her.

But he’ll wait. Going back in time is like restarting a game you’ve already beaten before, but Steve loved the journey as much as he did the destination. He’ll do it right, like he did before. He had Natasha back - Tony, too - and for now, he couldn’t really ask for more.

Notes: Thanks for reading!

title is a Harry Styles song, although I didn't know it was his bc I've always only just listened to LANY's version lol

--

this idea came to me after not accepting Steve's ending. steve in 2023 has no reason to go back to peggy like that. then i was like "hmmm... maybe *not* 2023 steve, then"

hence, this fic was born. please let me know what you guys think of it!! this was really cloudy in my mind and i debated a couple times whether or not to actually go through with it. i'd love to hear some input!