#not bc i think it's BAD it's more that i know i could do it better now bc i've improved a lot in the last 8 years
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CLARIFICATION NEEDED!!!!!
okay when i said “do not put afab/amab/tma/tma in your bio, that is cisgender society’s attempt at knowing your “real” gender” i did NOT meant to undermine the language/discussion that tme/tma was meant to provide!!! i think conversations about transmisogyny are extremely important BUT i also think that they are very very nuanced!!!!!!!!!
my issue with tma/tme is that it’s often used as a quick shortcut to see if a person is a transfem or transmasc and quickly sort the two and also that most online discourse does not rlly account for how transphobia, transmisogyny, and even transandrophobia, exomisia, intersexism, etc interact with each other !!!
@/oncelerfucker described how tme/tma is far more nuanced than a lot of people realized far better than i ever could so i rlly recommend reading their reblog.
tbh bigots do not care at ALL to be precise in their bigotry towards others; they see “person is similar to group i don’t like = i do not like person” and go off. as a member of the african diaspora (1st gen AA), i could make a MILLION posts about how black caribbeans/afrolatinos, black Europeans, etc are NOTHING like me and that i’m better than them (not true btw) and an antiblack racist will not GAF about those distinctions. they see black and their brains short circuit. There ARE distinctions, and they DO matter but they are not as clear cut as we might think! Now obviously there are finer nuances between race that is very separate from gender and sexuality but the general principle applies.
my issue is not inherently the terms tme/tma but rather how quickly they are flattened labels of ONLY identification, rather than bases of discussion. The transmisogyny a trans lesbian experiences may not be the same transmisogyny a straight trans woman experiences, but it makes neither of their transmisogynistic experiences lesser nor will a transmisogynist really bother to make that distinction. That distinction matters, but it shouldn’t be used to say “this person is more privileged than that person”.
i have seen the weird lateral violence that transfems and transmascs pit against each other as some groups say transmascs experience afab privilege (because their femininity is more easily accepted; which is not at all true) and other groups say that transfems experience male privilege/socialization (bc they grew up as male, so they would be privy to that privilege; also not at all true).
Both of these groups are noticing something accurate, but they are making incorrect assumptions about how this social dynamic works and blaming the wrong people. they incorrectly assume that the trans person on the opposite side of them is their enemy, when it’s so obviously not.
tldr (sorry i’m a ranter at heart); tme/tma are not inherently bad terminology, and discussions of transmisogyny (as well as all other forms transphobia and bigotry) function in society and how they affect certain groups of people are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!! i want to make it super obvious when i say that i am NOT trying to diminish anyone’s oppression or their voices, and im super sorry for the confusion!!! my true issues with tma/tme is how it’s utilized on the internet, rather than actually holding nuanced conversations, i see it flattened into another gender binary, where the supposed space for nuance is instead eaten up by lateral violence* of who is really the evil group of trans people holding us good trans people back from trans liberation. please please please keep having these discussions and please please please keep allowing the space for nuance in an increasingly polarized world.
(i still generally stand by not putting ur agab in ur bio bc i PROMISE u the wrong people are going to use that against u)
*when i say lateral violence, i do not mean actual physical violence but rather the term that refers to groups within similar social status attacking/othering each other. i’m saying that trans people are generally within the same social strata but sometimes we might weaponize the bigotry a certain group of trans people experiences in order to “elevate” ourselves (sidenote: this does not and never will work)
*gripping my hands so hard on a young trans persons shoulders that their bones are about to break*
do not log on to 4chan.com. do not get involved in passing olympics. you will always lose. do not put afab/amab/tma/tme in your bio, that is cisgender society trying to know your “real” gender. you do not exist to please cisgender people. there is no ‘right’ way to be trans. learn your goddamn history, listen to your elders. listen to other disenfranchised groups. listen to intersex people and check yourself for intersexism. listen to trans poc and check yourself for racism. listen to disabled people and check yourself for ableism. be open to learning always. labels are meant to fit you, not the other way around. you are not weird or predatory for simply being attracted to others. you’re fine if you’re not a skinny white twink or a barbie doll. you’re fine if your body is ‘weird’. you’re fine if you don’t have heavy or any dysphoria. it’s okay if you actually don’t want to transition or anything like that. life is worth living at any stage, you deserve to be happy. I SWEAR THAT YOU ARE OKAY!!!!!
#giz…corrects themselves#my bad did NOT mean to undermine very important conversations in the trans community#also please put the bad faith arguments down you look SILLY#giz talks#:3#giz rants#trans love n joy still#and put the 4chan/subreddits DOWN diva
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For s3 i either want armand to be lost in the fog absolutely no contact whatsoever with any of the cast (potentially they could do something fun by putting him in his suicide attempt era now and hes currently somewhere doing his thing with sybelle & benji) OR i want him to be fucking everyone but like. In secret.
Louis is fucking armand bc of bad divorce decisions and bc its somehow a better idea than fucking lestat right now (aaaand he kinda accidentally called daniel claudia during his early fledgling craze so hes forbidding himself from fucking him until that starts making sense). Also the sex was real good for 74 years and fucking around is a bit too san francisco for his taste so as long as he doesnt think about it too much this is a good arrangement. Armand is NOT allowed to call him maître or to mention anything serious at all though. The longest sentence they say to each other is like "take off your clothes" and thats IT.
Lestat is fucking armand bc louis wont fuck him and armand is looking reaaaally dishevelled these days and its activating his obsession with dolling him up. Lestat gets to give him long scented baths every time he shows up grimmier than the last and dress him up in whatever high fashion garments hes got in his closet that armand can make snide comments about -which they both enjoy as old snobs. Also gabrielle might be more around bc of the akasha business so shes on his mind a lot and armand is always eager to indulge his mommy kink as a way to one-up gabrielle.
Daniel is fucking armand but armand does wipe his mind about it bc he still wants to do the whole absent father thing as a misplaced act of what he believes is kindness but also hes very lonely and he cant help but indulge in the fantasy of a fledgling who wants him around (which is kinda real by daniel molloy standards but armand is convinced that he knows best and daniel hates him. Which is true but daniel kinda just needs like an apology and to scream at him for 3 uninterrumpted days which armand cannot comprehend for now)
None of them are aware that everyone else is fucking armand so when they meet theyre all like "ah yes armand... havent heard of him... yeah its been years..." when they just got their backs blown out like 2 hours ago
#iwtv#loumand#lesmand#devil's minion#diabolicule#this makes me laugh and i think they should do it#in this scenario louis and lestat are both lying through their teeth and daniel is just like. anyone else been losing time lately.#armand isnt at all concerned about keeping it a secret that hes also fucking the others but like#its not like hes having conversations with louis. and with lestat he knows better than to bring up louis if he wants to fuck at all#and with daniel well he might have mentioned it a couple times but its not like daniel would remember any of it lol
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annoyance - cs55 smau pt2
summary: you don't like carlos but now he's a williams driver and you have to see a lot more of him
a/n: in case you don't know the finalissima is a football match between the winners of the copa america and uefa european championship. the finalissima 2025 will be between argentina and spain. but now apparently it might be played in 2026 ?? which i didn't know when i started this so let's just pretend for the plot thank u
pt 1 / pt2 / pt3 (soon)
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2025
Instagram
williamsracing & carlossainz55: 2025, the fight starts now👊🏼
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carlossainz55: Let's go team!! 💪🌶️
user5: vamos carlitosss
user3: ready to wear blue💙
user9: we will miss franco ♡liked by yourusername
user4: yn took the picture but didn't like the post we stan a petty queen🔥
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♡liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, alex_albon & others
williamsracing: 2025 team
📷: yourusername
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user1: user4 she liked this one
user4: only bc of alex
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♡liked by francocolapinto, landonorris, carlossainz55 & others
yourusername: new year, i have a good feeling about this one
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user7: she's my favorite non-wag🤍
yourfriend1: 3rd picture, is there wine on the bag?
yourusername: you know me too well🍷
landonorris: i'm still waiting for those photography tips you promised me🤨
yourusername: once the season starts and only if you buy me food
user2: are they flirting???
yourusername: i finally convince you guys i'm not dating franco and you are already trying to get me involved with someone else pls free me😭😭
user8: carlos in the likes👀👀
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williamsracing: help us decide
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alex_albon: carlex for the win
yourusername: i like bonsai
carlossainz55: i prefer carbon
yourusername: ok? make your own comment
yourusername: also why would you prefer carbon?
carlossainz55: idk i just do and we can call our fans carbonara
williamsracing: we agree carlossainz55 carbon it is💙
yourusername: williamsracing betrayal 💔
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y/n: in a scale from 1 to 10, how bad would it be if i quit??
y/n: i can live off franco
your friend: why would you quit don't be ridiculous
your friend: also franco might have less money than you do, it's not a great plan
y/n: i'm convinced carlos thinks i only got this job because of franco and not because of my talent
your friend: did he say that?
y/n: well no
your friend: then?
your friend: cause i honestly still don't understand why you dislike him so much
y/n: okay so when i was at franco's first race i got lost and asked him for directions
y/n: but when i said i was going to williams he asked if i was with franco
y/n: implying i was with franco you know, which already annoyed me
y/n: and then he walked me for a bit, asked me what i do and when i said photographer he said "that's great!"
y/n: but in a sarcastic way?? like it is just a dumb little hobby and he was mocking me
your friend: how do you know?
y/n: body language idkkkk
y/: and then someone called him and he just left me there !!! still lost might i add
your friend: so let me see if i understand correctly
your friend: you met this man at his work place. he helped you while he could, tried to make small talk, then got called for work and now you hate him bc of "body language idkkk"?
y/n: when you put it like that i sound insane
your friend: it is insane babe🤍
y/n: i can't explain it he just sounded condescending
your friend: were you maybe (and just maybe) projecting some of your own fears onto the conversation?
your friends: and all of the things you assume he thinks are the things you are afraid people might think or haters are saying online?
y/n: ...maybe
your friend: do you have any real reason to believe he thinks all those disgusting things??
y/n: ...
y/n: not really
your friend: and don't you think that maybe, since you are working together, the best thing might be to give him another chance? unless proven otherwise?
y/n: ugh i it when you get rational and make sense
your friend: someone has to‼️
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lando: hi yn! just confirming our plans for tonight
lando: also carlos will join us, do u mind?
y/n: hi lando!! tonight it is
y/n: and no, i don't mind
lando: great cause i wasn't sure
lando: see you in a bit
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Instagram
landonorris posted a story
caption: i bought her food AND drinks
tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55
replies
↪ user5: omg carlos and yn, war is over????
↪user7: carlandooo
↪francocolapinto: she didn't murder him????
landonorris: worst, i'm almost sure i was third wheeling
francocolapinto: the plot thickens👀
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landonorris: photography lessons
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user3: photographer lando>>
user6: yn is so prettyyy ♡liked by carlossainz55
user8: carlos i see you 👀👀👀
user7: call me crazy but yn and carlos would make a great couple
user9: that's insane get help 🤍
yourusername: these look good, clearly you had the best teacher💪
landonorris: debatable
carlossainz55: ignoralo, sigue enojado que hablaramos español para que no nos entendiera [ignore him, he's still angry we talked in spanish so he wouldn't understand]
landonorris: jokes on you i can translate here👊🏼
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franco: so, how did it go?
y/n: surprisingly really good
y/n: and it was fun to speak spanish in front of lando he was PISSED
franco: and with carlos? he's still alive which i'm surprised
y/n: i have to admit i might have been a little quick to judge him...
franco: i told you, he's a cool guy
y/n: yes i guess
franco: you guess?
franco: cause a little bird told me you two hit it off
y/n: forget carlos, i'm going to kill lando
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yourusername has started following carlossainz55
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♡liked by carlossainz55, francocolapinto, landonorris & others
yourusername: call me maybe
- yourfriend1
francocolapinto: para quién estás beboteando? [who are you trying to look good for?]
yourusername: you are too annoying for someone currently unemployed
francocolapinto: ouch😔
user3: franco what do you know??
landonorris: you look so pretty tonight yn
yourusername: flattery will get you nowhere mister
landonorris: please don't kill me i'm sorry😭
user4: what is going on let us innnnn
user5: she started following carlos and then posted this welcome back demi lovato following henry cavill
user7: she's crying for attention 🙄🙄 desperate behavior →carlossainz55 has blocked this user
user7: carlos blocked me????
user5: deserved
yourfriend1: i love you, you are so hot
yourusername: let's run away together
yourfriend1: deal 🤝🏼
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carlos: hola, is this y/n?
carlos: i'm carlos
carlos: you gave me your number the other day
y/n: hola!
y/n: yes it's me
y/n: i'm glad you texted me
y/n: i didn't want to do this with lando there but i wanted to apologize for my behavior towards you
y/n: i might have misjudge some things on our first interaction
y/n: but still that doesn't justify my behavior so i'm sorry
carlos: i had a feeling you weren't a big fan of me but i wasn't sure what i had done lol
carlos: but don't worry about it, all is forgiven
carlos: i just wanted to say i had a great time hanging out
y/n: me too!!
carlos: now i'm curious, what annoyed you that day?
y/n: it's going to sound dumb...
y/n: but when you asked me about franco and me i thought you were undermining my job
carlos: i would never
carlos: i think you are incredibly talented and hard working, you earned this place
carlos: and since we are confessing things
carlos: i was asking about you and franco with the intention of finding out if you were single
y/n: oh
carlos: so, are you watching la finalissima tonight?
y/n: yess franco is coming over to watch it together, you?
carlos: i'm going to watch it with some friends
carlos: i have an idea, wanna make a bet?
y/n: mmm it depends
carlos: if spain wins you have to go on a date with me
y/n: you sound really confident
y/n: and if argentina wins?
carlos: i have to dress like a chili?
y/n: oh you are on
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yourusername: listos para lo que venga🇦🇷🤍 [ready for whatever happens]
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user10: confíen, tengo a los jugadores españoles en el freezer🕯️🕯️
user5: will this break my yn x carlos family?
francocolapinto: don't tell me, we finally got them to be civil😭
anyataylorjoy: vamos argentina🇦🇷🇦🇷 ♡liked by author
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carlossainz55 posted a new story
caption: i really need spain to win😉
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↪yourusername: mm i wonder why
carlossainz55: 🙈🙈
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y/n: hey
carlos: hey everything alright? game is still in halftime
y/n: i know
y/n: but about that date
y/n: tomorrow?
carlos: si❤️
carlos: no puedo esperar [i can't wait]
#f1 smau#carlos sainz smau#formula 1 smau#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz x reader#cs55 smau#cs55 x reader#cs55 fic#cs55 x you#cs55 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 x you#carlos sainz fluff#carlossainzsmau
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In the mood for...
Jan 6th
~*~
1. So in the book, xue yang is younger than wei wuxian, like he and Xiao xingchen were supposed to be closer to wwx's son/nephew's age. So, itmf stories where xue yang is actually wwx's son (they do share physical similarities) adopted or bio. Or at least related to each other in some way. Imagine - xue yang is wwx's long lost son or cousin or something. Or things similar to "the kids are OK (I think)" by gosamerglimmer on ao3, where xy wwx & mxy are all cousins descended from lost xue sect
Coincidentally… (Or, if you ask Xue Yang, purposefully with the intent of slander and defamation!) by pipip (G, 2k, WWX & XY, YLLZ WWX, Wangxian is only implied, XY is a Brat, Gremlin XY, MXY Deserves Better, MXY Deserves Happiness, XY Deserves Better, XY is a Little Shit, XY is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Loves WWX)
🔒Til Death Do Us Part by Thyone14 (Not Rated, 73k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, WWX Needs a Hug, Protective LWJ, Soft WangXian, POV LWJ, POV Alternating, No Smut, POV WWX)
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2. ITMF JGY or the cultivation world finding out that the Yilling Patriarch's weakness is LWJ and they're not above using him to take down WWX. It could be LXC pretending to be LWJ to lure WWX out like in 'bloom unto the ground' by tattletold or anything, I'm just looking for fics where everyone is aware of LWJ being WWX's weakness and uses it to their advantage
~*~
3. heyo, Are there Any fics where the Juniors witness Wangxian sweetness? Like that's it. They're just witnessing their beautiful relationship but also angsty moments? Please let me know, please and thank you and have a nice new years 😁 @yasssbassss
Dear Hanguang-Jun by cavaleira (M, 8k, WangXian, ZhuiLing, Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, Post-Canon)
🔒 The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (T, 19k, WangXian, In-Universe RPF, Romance Novel, LJY’s sense of justice, OYZZ’s sense of romance, Featuring a surprise appearance by WWX’s oft-absent sense of shame, Look the ducklings just want their sort-of dads to be happy okay?, And it’s not like WWX or LWJ are doing a good job of ensuring their own happiness, LJY rejects canon reality and substitutes his own, highly relatable actually, Post-Canon Fix-It, primarily drama-canon with cameos from novel-canon, The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea))
can anybody find me (somebody to love) by stiltonbasket (G, 2k, WangXian, Slice of Life, Post-Canon, Married WangXian, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Domestic Fluff, Introspection, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Happy Ending)
Over and out by baxia (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Junior Quartet-centric, Junior Ensemble-centric, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Teacher WWX, Teacher LWJ, Married WangXian, Established Relationship, POV LJY, Future zhuiyi)
~*~
4. ITMF request please—any Wangxian horse stories? Like they meet at a riding club or WWX gets to have a favorite horse or their swords are horses? I read the one where he helped save CR bc of LWJ’s request and now I just want more of him with horses. 🐴 tysm!!
Légèreté by perkynurples (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern au, Horse riding, Swords as horses, Crack treated seriously, Friends to Lovers)
Nothing to rec, but I was wondering which fic prompted #4 :) (in general would like it if requesters specified which fic they mean if they make a reference to something)
~*~
5. Any fics that have the Yiling laozu and reincarnated Wei Ying in Mo Xuanyu’s body in the same time period and Lahn Zhan’s reaction to both? I read one called Me Myself and Lan Wanji by Melon and A Tide of Teo Seas by Occulting, so was looking for more or similar fics. Thanks! @toyft2
🔒 Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar by masked (T, 13k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Fluff, Humor, Time Travel, 5+1 Things, Jealous WWX, the Impeccable Trust between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, POV Outsider, everyone is Thirsty for Hanguang-jun as one tends to be)
~*~
6. Hi! Happy New Year! I hope 2025 is a blessed year for you all!
For ITMF: any fics that include WangXian wedding where JC is there as WWX’s family. @bitemepotter
Thank you for all your hard work!
With Absolute Splendor by Lise (T, 43k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Wedding planning, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Complicated Relationships, Angst with a happy ending)
For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, LWJ & LXC, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of Rape, not explicit but definitely referenced, Time Travel, Not Everyone Dies au, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, WWX/babie tendencies, WQ is a queen in any reality, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, WWX finds new ways to be oblivious, seriously it surprised even us, Для нас обоих (И время лишь бумажная луна) by nomuad, [Podfic] Cold read of For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by kisahawklin)
A Lifetime of It (Please, and Thank You) by misscam (M, 5k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, JC & WWX, Wedding, Humor, Fluff, Angst, some naughtiness, Switching)
💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, WangXian, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX, Post-Canon, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, the make people respect WWX agenda, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Soft WangXian, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, a very very small amount of smut, also a possessed squirrel, El trabajo es bueno si lo quieres by evirtual3, [Podfic] Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark)
The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts, Le feu qui gagne la rivière by Silu_chan, [Podfic of] The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by exmanhater)
The long road home by dea_liberty (M, 9k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Found Families, Happy Ending, a lot of feelings, Epilogue, Marriage, so many feelings, Some angst, (Русский) The long road home by rootofallevil)
~*~
7. Hello! Good morning/afternoon/evening! For I'm In The Mood For: fics where LWJ thinks that WWX rejected him (after confessing to him) or that WWX only calls him a friend and he just accepted that they could be nothing more.
Only for WWX to find out that LWJ's crush rejected him or that LWJ is heartbroken and tries to find out who rejected LWJ.
LWJ could distance himself from WWX or they continue staying friends. I could definitely go with either Angst or Humor. Thank you :D
r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending, r/relationships [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)
Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst)
How Wei Ying Went from Oblivious Idiot to Shameless Boyfriend in Three Days by misscam (T, 5k, WangXian, College/University, Modern AU, Getting Together, Humor)
Far Away You Are by cqlorphan (E, 17k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, cleared up by juniors ensemble, Explicit Consent, Bottom LWJ. Top WWX, but i'm sure they switch about it, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff and Smut, with a little angst - as a treat)
~*~
8. Hello and happy holidays!! ❤️✨️
ITMF Wei Ying returning from the BM not as a normal human, but changed. Like, maybe he A) becomes a fierce corpse (either sentient/semi/ordinary), B) a ghost/spirit/ghost fire, or C) he is "reborn" or remade there into another form entirely (some horror creature/a demonic animal).
Also peferrably with Wei Ying dying before being thrown into the BM (maybe he is not even thrown there, like in Grief Kindly Stopped by ShanaStoryteller), so the Wens and everyone else are sure he is dead, angst and grief following. Or maybe he disappears like in canon, and later after his return it is found out that he is not alive/fully human anymore.
Thank you everyone! @shellennium
🔒 A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX’s questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding) Wei Ying dies after being thrown into the Burial Mounds but he returns "other."
🔒between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, SanLi, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, sorta, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating, Happy Ending) I think between the shadow and the soul also works but Wei Ying doesn't exactly die in this one.
~*~
9. Hello! I wanted to know if there are any fics where Wei Wuxian had enough and snapped at everyone including Lan Wangji @yuukikonnos-world
~*~
10. Hii - first off: obligatory thank you so much for the work you do in this fandom!! (I feel like you get this all the time but also not often enough: so just: thank you thank you thank you!!)
For the next itmf - I was wondering if you all have any specific favorites or have a compilation list of fics along the lines of “character watches the show/reads the book” whatever; not picky on what character watches or is focused on!
💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 279k, WangXian, CQL Verse, Golden core reveal, Fix-it of sorts, Angst with a happy ending)
💖 Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (Not rated, 841k, wangxian, watching the series, fix-it of sorts, bamf!wwx, WIP)
The Characters of MDZS Watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by emma_screams (M, 166k, WIP, WangXian, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama)
Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Time Travel Fix-it)
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11. For itmf, I'm craving some wangxian who are reuniting after being separated for whatever reason and one of them is shocked to find out the other now has a child and there are big feelings about the whole thing. Ty!
estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 34k, WangXian, Modern, Breakup/makeup, breakup mostly happens off-screen, Pining while fucking, Single Dad WWX, brief mention of chronic illness, Angst with a Happy Ending)
i guess i’ll have to change my plan by darjeelinh (E, 42k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), soft rom-com vibes, One Night Stands, but not really, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, they both have demi vibes in this fight me about it, Misunderstandings, Separations, Reunions, WangXian canon Elopement™️ shenanigans, now with art)
plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by fleurdeliser (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, Car Accidents, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Explicit References to Injuries and Death, References to Addiction, Doctors & Physicians, Falling In Love, soft romance, background 3zun, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by knight_tracer, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by exmanhater)
my dreams are playing softer now by fleurdeliser (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Drunken Shenanigans, First Dates)
❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Single Parent WWX, Homophobia, LQR’s A+ Parenting, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, idiots to lovers, car seats as an expression of love, literal plot bunnies, Fluff, some not-so-light Angst, the inherent eroticism of boning down while receiving free childcare)
Lifelong Confidant by saved (E, 42k, wangxian, modern, Fluff and Angst, Past Character Death, Families of Choice, Explicit Sexual Content, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Oblivious WWX, playing fast and loose with basic real life things, references to past alcoholism/substance abuse, Alcohol)
Unstrictly Ballroom by Ariaste (T, 47k, WangXian, background SongXiao, Modern AU, Everyone’s alive, the gang defeats systemic heteronormativity, Stripper AU, competitive ballroom dance AU, really stupid misunderstandings, Yearning, Mutual Pining, the wrist grab, Erotic Handholding, [Podfic] Unstrictly Ballroom by RevolutionaryJo, Unstrictly Ballroom [Podfic] by esbielle)
Yesterday Once More by Sweetlittlevampire (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern, Reality Show, Long Lost Family AU, Adoption, Family Reunions, Reunions, Lost Love, Getting Back Together, Family Feels, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, [Podfic] Yesterday Once More by shash_reads (sunkitten_shash))
Nothing but your heart by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Implied Mpreg, First Time, Getting Together, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Whump, Breeding Kink)
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12. In the mood for a fic where Lan Zhan have Qi deviation or is in serious danger of it. I have read one fic that Lan Zhan nearly qi deviates and it made me interested in this concept (I loved how everyone was so worried and protective of him, even his uncle). I haven't seen any other fics like that so far so I would be grateful for the help.
No-One Else (As Much As You) by sami (M, 6k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC & LWJ, Family, Slice of Life, Children, Insecurity, Unexpected Complications Of Reincarnation, Mild qi deviation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) LWJ has a mild qi deviation in this one, but FYI it is a sequel and may not make much sense without reading the first in the series
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13. Hi, first, thanks for all your amazing work. You have been a source of joy and help with my sanity for years!! I want to know if you could include a request for the next I'm in the Mood for a Fic post. I want fics related to Reality TV. I have read all the ones you have in your Fic Compilations, but I wonder if there is any more!! Specially any fic inspired by Survivor or by The Amazing Race!! Pretty please!! Be well!! Happy New Year!! Hugs!!! @monicaop21
Thank you for the new recs!! I think this are amazing stories!! If there are any more later I'll keep an eye for it ;). Be well!!!
❤️ Knight Hunt! Phoenix Mountain by travelingneuritis (E, 51k, wangxian, modern, dating show, Modern Cultivation, but in the silliest way possible, Reality TV, the juniors are interns, Smut, Illustrations, low-stakes pining)
and from our own/live to ourselves by betweentheheavesofstorm (M, 105k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fantasy, Reality TV, Arctic Survival, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Getting Together, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Bloodletting, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Animal Death, Hunting, Mild Sexual Content)
🔒 will the cultivators Nail It? by AmyNChan (G, 21k, Nailed It AU, Modern, TV Show, Chaotic WWx, Awkward JZX, SS Being an Asshole, Judge LWJ. the Nailed It editors deserve a shoutout, THIS IS FOR YOU GUYS AND YOUR FANTASTIC EDITS, Nichole and Jacques being best friends)
A Right Hook to the Heart by azurewaxwing (G, 3k, NMJ/QS, MXY/NHS, Modern, Reality Show, Punching your future father in law in the face as a metaphor for love)
Soup is Another Word for Love by azurewaxwing (G, 1k, JYL/JZX, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Modern Setting, Reality Show)
The Millionaire Matchmaker (makes a match) by DizziDreams (T, 6k, JC/NHS, Reality Show, Millionaire Matchmaker AU, JC's standards aren't too high, everyone else just needs to be better, #teamBullyJiangCheng, Modern)
Love Is Blind (and also stupid) by DizziDreams (T, 5k, WangXian, Love is Blind AU, Reality Show, Modern, Love is Blind AU, Reality Show, Modern, El Amor Es Ciego (y estúpido) by evirtual3)
🔒 Lan Zhan gives shocking romantic confession on Dirty Laundry season three (not clickbait!!) by dykemania (T, 8k, LXC/JGY, WangXian, LXC & NHS, Modern, Actors, Reality Show, POV LXC, Love Confessions, On Set, Gaunyin Temple scene but reality TV)
floating prison by spicecandy (E, 25k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC/WQ, Reality Show, Yachting, Boats and Ships, Dom/sub Undertones, Blow Jobs, JC& WWX Reconciliation, Chef LWJ, Alcohol, Drunken Flirting, Getting Together, Ensemble Cast, Modern)
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14. Hi, I'm in the mood for a wangxian multiple time loops fic. I've recently been reading a Korean bl called Cloudless Sky (highly recommend, modern with super powers, found family, A+ plot so far about the mc repeating the same tragedy over and over again) and it was so WangXian coded that I know I'm going to be itching to read a similar one after I've finished. I've come across a few in the past but they've never been completed so it'd be great if the recommended fics are also complete :) @gsmileys
the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending)
Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)
Every Time You Close Your Eyes by brooklinegirl (E, 38k, WangXian, Time Loop, Modern AU, Modern with Cultivation, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, I swear there is a happy ending, but yeah WWX dies a lot, Case Fic)
Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)
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15. This would be for ITMF? I just read That Bitter Draught by nirejseki, it's a Su She central fic but it's so well written (it stays true to his character too) and it actually made me like Su She! I'll love to read similar fics if it exists (praying it does). I don't care too much about the ships, I just want more Su She central fics
Honestly, What Did You Expect by BlueberryLimoncello (T, 27k, WIP, WangXianShe, WangXianOC, waking up as a minor villain, playing fast and loose with the plot, playing even faster with the mechanics of qi, MC is SS, POV SS, POV First Person, potentially making everything worse?, Unreliable Narrator)
💙🔒Su She Eats his Heart Out by KizuKatana (T, 16k, WangXian, 3rd person pov, implied offscreen wangxian sex)
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16. ok so when i was daydreaming as always i come up with some ideas and i thought im sure someone wrote this. A) Wangxian / regression. Wei or Wangji or both will turn back in time where they can fix their past mistakes or regrets before bad things happen. Rewriting of Mo Dao Zu Shi from a regression perspective. ( i don't prefer the untamed fics but I don't care as long as i can find what i want) . I have one more but letter limit prevent me writing so i will make a second of this
B) Second one is more spesific and probably there is no fic like that. This is more like transmigration/isekai where some fan or reader of the mdzs enter the story as a side/mob and try to fix things and also brings couples together. I don't want mc to fall in love with main characters or anything like she must ship wangxian(it is a must) and make them couples. She can have a romance with any other side/mob character.( Like mc transmigrated as madam yu can have romance with jfm and fix her family ) @kaiserokitadesadesougoii
16A)
🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)
💖 Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, WWX Won't Back Down But Blushes Anyway, Very Mild Angst with a Happy Ending)
Family by Quiet_crash (G, 57k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JLY & WWX & JC, LXC & WWX, JYL & LWJ, Time Travel Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Established Relationship)
🔒 We Can See a New Start by preciousbunnynoiz (M, 127k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Soulmates, Time Travel Fix-It, Biting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, but mentally they are adults, Making Out, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Happy Ending, PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive LWJ, Communication, Soul Bond, Blood, Found Family, Parent-Child Relationship, aromantic JC, Lesbian WQ, Queerplatonic Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Disassociate episodes, disassociating, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Depression, Delusions, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Attempted Sexual Assault, Therapy, Supportive JC, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Accidental Bonding, Brotherly Bonding)
this is our vow by orro (E, 142k, WangXian, WIP, Major Character Death, Time Travel Fix-It, Butterfly Effect, For Want of a Nail, Character Death, Sunshot Campaign, Child Death, War Crimes, Time Travelling WWX, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet)
16B)
i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, OFC/LXC, minor WangXian, Isekai, Transmigration, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Amateur cartography, Butterfly Effect, Sunshot Campaign, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, Dimension Travel, Politics, LXC the politician, Self-Insert, Foreknowledge, Angst with a Happy Ending)
The Tamed by Escheria (T, 481k, WangXian, WIP, LWJ/XZ, WYB/WWX, YiZhan, YLLZ WWX, The Untamed (TV) References, Overpowered WWX, XZ is WWX, Canon Divergence, Transmigration, Isekai, Demonic Cultivation, Genius WWX, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soulmates, Reincarnation)
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17. itmfff
fcis with the "don't touch my wife!" trope in arranged marriage or otherwise plsplsplspls
thank u sm! @bunnycoffeeumcat
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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HI TARA!!! my thoughts while reading are under the cut :'))) but i gotta say that i fall in love w ur writing every time i read something from u:
• i would like to start off w the fact that u set the scene so incredibly well, like im in awe and envy at this beautiful scene ur painting for us 😭 not to mention that it all flows really well too; just a strong opening paragraph
• awwwh PLS THE BIG BROTHER LITTLE SISTER DYNAMIC!!! when the little sis thinks the absolute world of her big bro :'))) and when she's even more mad than he is LMAO the TOAD LINE??? damn seokmin i was not aware of ur game
• lowkey i would have folded that fast too if duke lee seokmin of lancaster played along and kissed my hand
• this starting line ^ crazy good... like i'd like to sear this into my mind so i never forget it?? the social szn unfolds like a delicate fan??? adding another layer to the tapestry of ur life??? lee seokmin????
• HE HAS AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO ELEVATE THE ORDINARY UGHHHHH WHAAAAT A LINE i love that so, so much and it's so true as well
• awwwh yn and seokhao's goodbyes are so sweet :'')))) im so glad they all hold so much affection for one another
• "your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes could bear" im cryingksnfkdnjf seokmin sulking over the wool while he's away,, sometimes i like to imagine him as a damsel draping himself out of the window sill of a tower
• i love how yn describes herself feeling empty while hes away like heh... i know something u dont... heh :))))) and crocheting? me too!!! so cute that she made him smth
• TARA U R A MASTER AT IMAGERY!! the opening lines of age 15 are mwah chefs kiss like if i could draw/paint, i would literally turn this fic into a graphic novel for u
• tulip... brb while i burst into tears
• started grinning like an idiot while reading this ^ i can see his playful melodrama and the smile on his face,,, im so down bad like i would fold like a lawn chair if we played around like this irl (i say as a grown ass woman)
• oh how i do love the classic brushing of the limbs that gets the mcs blushing like hell... also love what u did there w the planting seeds in ur mind to decode later while they're literally planting flowers... i see u tara u genius
• oh wow the total 180 w the reveal of the duke's death (also seokmin addressing her as my dearest tulip TT) — thinking of seokmin entering the social szn as a recently-made duke and all the girls hounding after him in his fresh grief......
• this section (seok and hao just got back after the death reveal) is short but so bittersweet. like when u give seok the swords from the flower bed and he just kind of chuckles like yes... days gone by huh... UGH
• it breaks my heart to know that seokhao now have their dead fathers as something in common 😭😭😭 its sweet tho to know they're all looking out for each other. im w yn tho, i hope hers and haos relationship isnt negatively affected by this :'))
• THE RETURN OF THE TAPESTRY METAPHOR
• okay i have to confess something... this is my second time reading thru... and so im reading the part where minghao and yn talk in the garden and he's warning her of the whispers springing up abt her and seok and im like... freaking out bc i KNOW WHAT HAPPENS 😭 IM GNAWING MY FIST LIKE IK THAT HAO'D CONCERN IS SINCERE AND IM JUST SJFNKENFKFJF THIS SCENE HOLDS SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT DURING A REREAD (why i love comparing my thoughts btwn a first and second read tho, like u see things /differently/)
• i love the teasing and sweet assurances in the letters 😭 like they're so genuine and cute (rip minghao)
• AHHHHH THE SMOKING SCENE FROM SZN ONEEEE i like this change of dynamic tho instead of being btwn siblings, it's now btwn two love interests friends
• WE CANT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT OUR HEARTS DESIRE???? WHILE LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT LEE SEOKMIN????????? HHEHDJDJFJFJKFKFK
• sure sure fencing BUT YEARNING TO FIND LOVE?? BUT MY DEAR SIR?? YOUR GRACE, YOUR LOVE IS RIGHT NEXT TO U
• THE LONGING AND ASPECT OF THE FORBIDDEN MAKES THE SMALL DISTANCE BTWN U YAWN LIKE A CHASM AHHHH THIS PASSAGE!!!! like oof... i love angst and yearning like this, where im screaming at my phone screen to just kiss her already (knowing the... perilous journey ahead... heh...)
• friend.... FRIEND???? brb gonna go waltz into oncoming traffic
• oh the way this ends 😭😭😭 like my heart is being squeezed,,, the way he whispers tulip and the roots of ur love for him take hold UGGGHH!!! I CANT DO THIS
i will have to endure for another day tho and i will return for chapter two tmrw! i loved this even more than the first time i read it (and i loved it a lot then too)!! i was really able to sit w ur words this time, and i do have to say tara that u have such a talent for imagery, like omg this was so beautiful TT but thank u for writing this!! hope ur having a lovely day/night and i'll be back o7 💖
The Somerset Affair | Chapter 1: Whispers in the Garden
pairing: lsk x fem!reader genre: Bridgerton AU, friends to (?????) to eventual lovers, brother’s best friend, SLOWWWW BURNNN chapter wc: 8.2k warnings: alcohol consumption, societal expectations, eventual smut, more to be added a/n: CHAPTER 1 IS FINALLY HEREEEE // as always, ENORMOUS thanks to indi @wongyuseokie for this GORGEOUSSSS banner // and to my lovely betas shu @welcometomyoasis lou @tusswrites haneul @chanranghaeys this could not have happened without you // 2nd chapter will be up soon!!!
summary: lee seokmin is a scoundrel for having beaten your brother at fencing. or... is he?
comment to be tagged when chapters are posted, or join the fic taglist here!
Age 8
Mayfair is alive today. The Somerset estate hums with energy, a ripple of excitement passing through the gathered crowd, their eyes all fixed on the fencing match taking place in the wide, manicured garden. The afternoon sun casts a golden haze over the scene, warming the air and wrapping everything in a soft, honeyed glow. Laughter and chatter float like music across the grounds, underscored by the occasional ring of steel clashing against steel. The sweet fragrance of roses drifts on the light breeze, mingling with the fresh scent of cut grass. You sit near the front, your small hands gripping the edge of your chair, bouncing with excitement as you watch your older brother, Minghao, spar against a boy you've never seen before.
This new boy stands tall, his dark hair tousled in the breeze, and a sharp determination shines in his eyes. The way he moves—it’s confident, with an energy that seems far beyond his years. Your brother, usually so self-assured, falters as the boy steps onto the mat. A flicker of unease passes through you, twisting in your stomach. You can feel the tension, see it in the way Minghao adjusts his grip on his sword. The match begins, and every time the swords collide, the sound reverberates through your chest. Your heart sinks a little more with each point your brother loses, and soon, the inevitable happens—the newcomer disarms Minghao with a flourish so smooth it draws gasps and murmurs from the audience.
"Such skill!" someone whispers, while others erupt in applause, their cheers filling the air. But you remain still, arms crossed tightly over your chest, brows drawn into a deep frown. How dare this boy defeat your brother? And so effortlessly! You want to scowl, to hold on to your anger, but the sound of the crowd’s cheers washes over you, making your resentment grow.
Seokmin—that’s his name, you overhear—steps forward, offering Minghao a hand, his smile wide and bright like the afternoon sun. "A splendid match, my lord," he says, his voice rich and full of youthful pride. "I must confess, I didn’t expect to come away unscathed!"
You narrow your eyes, watching as your brother, ever gracious, accepts the handshake. There's a mixture of admiration and annoyance in his expression, a good-natured acknowledgment of defeat. They exchange lighthearted jests, their laughter mixing with the lingering applause. But you? You're fuming. This boy, with his easy smile and seemingly endless charm, had just bested your brother, and you feel a burning need to dislike him for it.
Then, as if sensing your discontent, Seokmin turns to you, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Ah, you must be Lord Minghao’s sister?” he says, his grin widening into something playful, teasing. “Goodness, you make him look like a toad by comparison!”
Your mouth drops open in shock, a wave of indignation rushing through you. How dare he say such a thing? And worse—how could your brother laugh? "I beg your pardon?" you snap, standing as tall as your small frame will allow, arms crossing even tighter across your chest.
"Oh, I mean no offense, miss," Seokmin chuckles, clapping Minghao on the shoulder. "I jest, of course! Merely saying that you’re far lovelier than your brother—though, admittedly, it’s not a particularly high bar."
Despite yourself, your scowl begins to soften. There’s something about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the lightness in his voice. It’s hard to stay angry when he looks at you like that, as if daring you to join in on the joke.
“Mama says men who try to charm without revealing their titles aren’t to be trusted,” you counter, lifting your chin with defiant pride. The quip comes out sharper than intended, but you’re determined not to let him get the better of you.
Minghao gasps, hands raised in mock horror. “Sister, truly, must you always speak so boldly?” He turns to Seokmin with an exaggerated sigh. “Please Seokmin, do forgive her. I assure you, turning eight has done little to improve her temperament.”
“You’re only two years older than me, brother!” you huff, your voice a touch more indignant. Before you can continue, though, Seokmin drops into a low, dramatic bow, the movement exaggerated and theatrical.
“The fault is entirely mine, my lady,” he says in mock seriousness, rising and extending his hand toward you. “Lord Lee Seokmin, future Duke of Lancaster. At your service.”
Two years of etiquette lessons flood your mind, and with a sudden burst of excitement, you place your small hand in his. Seokmin bows once more, this time dropping a playful kiss on your knuckles as you curtsy. You can hear Minghao’s exasperated sigh as he rolls his eyes, but you ignore him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
Maybe Seokmin isn't such a scoundrel after all.
As the day wears on, you find yourself watching Seokmin from the corner of your eye. Despite your earlier indignation, there’s something undeniably captivating about him. You notice the way he treats everyone with kindness, far beyond what’s expected from someone his age. When a younger child stumbles near the fencing ring, it’s Seokmin who rushes to their side, kneeling in the dirt, his voice gentle as he asks, "Are you alright?" He helps the child up, brushing off their clothes with such care, you can’t help but be touched. "Fear not," he says, a smile returning to his face, "you’re not a toad—you’re a knight in training!"
The sight makes your heart soften further. How could someone so infuriating also be so kind? The lines of irritation you had drawn between you and Seokmin begin to blur, shifting into something more like curiosity.
As the sun sinks low, casting a warm amber glow over the estate, you find yourself gravitating closer to where Seokmin and Minghao stand, their voices rising and falling in animated conversation about fencing techniques. Seokmin’s laughter, bright and carefree, fills the air like music, and before you know it, you’re smiling too; there’s something undeniably magnetic about him.
Despite your best efforts, you can no longer deny the strange fluttering in your chest—a curiosity, perhaps even fascination, that you hadn’t expected. Maybe, just maybe, Seokmin isn’t such a scoundrel after all.
The days of the social season unfold like a delicate fan, each gathering adding another layer to the tapestry of your life, and with every event, Seokmin becomes a constant presence. He is no longer just an occasional guest—he’s a breath of fresh air, his laughter ringing through the halls of your family’s estate, turning even the dullest moments into something lively and bright.
The lively soirées your parents host become a stage for his effortless charm. Ladies in the latest fashions exchange flirtatious glances in his direction, while gentlemen engage in animated debates about politics and sport, the buzz of conversation always punctuated by Seokmin’s easy laughter. His presence transforms these gatherings, turning what once felt like routine social maneuvering into vibrant affairs filled with warmth and genuine joy.
Whether he’s lending a hand to your mother in the garden, his sleeves rolled up and face relaxed in concentration, or sparring with your brother in a friendly match, Seokmin has this uncanny ability to elevate the ordinary. What might be a simple afternoon stroll or an idle conversation becomes a moment of significance when he’s around. Sun-drenched afternoons spent wandering the estate take on a new glow, each moment painted with the sound of his voice, the infectious energy he brings.
Age 14
The day Minghao and Seokmin leave for Eton is etched in your mind with vivid clarity, every detail sharp and impossible to forget. The morning is cool, yet the sun spills across the courtyard in golden rays, casting long shadows from the trees that sway gently in the breeze. The scent of dew-laden grass mixes with the faint perfume of your mother’s rose garden, but even the beauty of the estate feels muted by the melancholy lingering in the air.
Minghao, ever composed, stands with the straight posture expected of him, his hands clasped behind his back, looking every inch the young man ready to step into his responsibilities. His face, though calm, carries the weight of leaving home, but he hides it well, his eyes betraying only a flicker of the emotions swirling beneath the surface.
Seokmin, on the other hand, struggles more visibly with the impending farewell. His usual cheerful grin falters, the lightness of his presence dimmed as he glances between you and Minghao. He tries to keep up his usual charm, cracking jokes that feel just a little too forced, his laughter not ringing as true as it normally does. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes, a softness you haven’t seen before, as if he’s trying to hide his own sadness behind that well-worn mask of joviality.
As they load their trunks into the carriage, a heavy knot forms in your chest. You know you’ll miss your brother, but it’s Seokmin’s departure that stings deeper. He’s been more than a friend these past years—he’s been a constant, a steady warmth you’ve come to rely on. His laughter, his easy charm, the way he could turn even the most mundane day into something special. The thought of him being gone, of not seeing him wander the estate with his boundless energy, makes your heart ache in a way you didn’t anticipate.
You step forward, your fingers trembling as you reach for Seokmin’s hand, your grip tighter than intended. “Promise me you’ll write?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, each word trembling with the effort to hold back tears.
Seokmin’s eyes soften as he looks down at you, his usual grin giving way to something gentler. "Of course," he says, his voice steady but quieter than usual. He squeezes your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gesture meant to comfort. “I’ll make sure you get the best letters—no boring stories, only adventures, I swear.” His grin returns, albeit a little weaker. "Besides, my lady, your brother and I will be back to torment you again come springtime!"
Minghao coughs politely. “No tearful goodbye for me, sister?” he asks, his voice teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of affection in his words. His eyes flicker between you and Seokmin, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips, though his posture remains upright and composed as ever.
You tear your gaze from Seokmin and offer your brother a watery smile. “Do not fret, dear brother,” you say, a bit of your usual wit returning. “I’ll save the tears for later, when the house is quiet without the two of you causing chaos.”
My Dearest Y/N,
I trust this letter finds you in fine spirits, though I daresay it is far more likely that you are wrapped in the cozy embrace of your favorite blanket, lost in a book, while the world outside continues on its merry way. I cannot help but smile at the thought, for you have always possessed the rare gift of finding joy in the mundane.
Eton is quite a spectacle, I must confess. The architecture is enough to make one feel as though they have stepped into a storybook. However, I must admit my fellow classmates lack the charm and wit of my beloved friend.
Oh, how I miss our little chats! It is a curious sensation to feel so far from home, yet I am bolstered by the knowledge that you are there, keeping our little world intact. Do tell me that you have not yet taken up knitting—your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes can bear.
Yours most fondly,Seokmin
My Dearest Seokmin,
Eton sounds positively enchanting.I must admit, the thought of you amidst all that grandeur brings me no small measure of joy—though I do hope you have not yet been swept away by the grandeur of it all! I find it impossible to imagine anyone there being quite as dashing as you.
Life here, as you suspected, is a touch quieter without your vivacious presence. I feel compelled to admit that I found myself rather melancholic the day you left. It was a curious sadness, one that clung to me like a shadow. The house feels a touch emptier, and while I do find solace in my books, nothing compares to the ease of our conversations. The warmth of your laughter is a melody I find myself longing for, especially on the coldest evenings.
Do keep writing, dear friend. Your tales from Eton are the very lifeblood of my days, and I shall regale you with the ongoing drama of our little realm. Until then, consider me your most devoted fan, ever eager for your next missive.
With all my affection,Y/N
P.S. You will take great pleasure in knowing that I have, in fact, taken up crocheting. A lovely cap, perfect for early springtime chill, awaits you at the estate.
Age 15:
Seokmin’s return each spring is as reliable as the first crocus peeking through the thawing earth, marking the true end of winter. His arrival is never just an event—it’s a burst of life that sweeps away the dullness left by the cold months. Every year, your excitement bubbles over as you anticipate that familiar moment when the world feels a little brighter with his return. The sunlight bathes the garden in warmth, a golden hue spreading like liquid over the well-trodden path he walks down, Minghao beside him. Their laughter floats through the air, a melody that harmonizes with the soft rustle of blooming flowers and the hum of spring.
When they finally come into view, your heart quickens, as if drawn into the rhythm of their steps. With Minghao’s ever-amiable grin and Seokmin’s radiant energy, they are a pair that seems to make the world tilt just a little toward joy. Every spring, it's the same—they stride toward you as if no time has passed, as if the long months apart were nothing but a brief blink in the grander scheme of your lives. And each time, the three of you fall into the same routines as though nothing has changed.
It usually begins with some mischief. They never fail to poke fun at you until you’re red-faced with exasperation. Seokmin, with that teasing glint in his eyes, will say something absurd or playfully condescending, and Minghao, ever the instigator, will back him up with a sly smirk. It’s only a matter of time before you lose your patience, yell, and stomp your foot, your protests ringing louder than you’d intended.
Your raised voice inevitably draws the attention of your mother, who reprimands you from the kitchen window with her usual fond disapproval. "Now, now," she’ll chide, a soft laugh hidden in her voice. "There’s no need to shout, dear. They’re only playing."
Of course, that’s the cue for Seokmin and Minghao to burst into laughter, doubling over in amusement at how easily they’ve ruffled your feathers. You scowl at them, but it’s hard to keep a frown on your face when they’re both so gleeful, their joy infectious, lighting up the entire garden.
One afternoon, not long after their return, Seokmin and Minghao find their old practice fencing swords—long forgotten and buried deep in the flowerbeds, peeking out from beneath the tulips. You watch as they unearth the swords with a mixture of surprise and amusement, both of them laughing as if uncovering a treasure trove of memories. Their faces are bright with nostalgia as they pull the dirt-encrusted weapons free, brushing off the petals clinging to the blades.
It's then that Seokmin starts to call you "Tulip," a private little nickname he utters only when it's just the two of you. The first time he says it, there’s a lightness to his tone, his lips curling into that mischievous smile of his. “You know,” he says, leaning in closer as you both watch Minghao attempt a ridiculous fencing stance in the distance, “it only makes sense. After all, you’ve been hiding our swords with the tulips. I think ‘Tulip’ suits you.”
At first, you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance, but there’s a warmth in your chest at how easily he’s assigned you such a tender nickname.
One particularly warm afternoon, your mother summons you to help her with the flowerbeds, a chore you reluctantly take on. The sun beats down, the heat pressing into your skin and the earth beneath your fingers, while the scent of soil and fresh blossoms hangs thick in the air. You sigh, resigning yourself to the tedious task when, suddenly, a familiar voice cuts through the stillness.
“Ah, the fair lady in her noble endeavor!” Seokmin’s voice rings out, full of his usual playful grandeur. He strides through the garden gate, sweeping an imaginary cape behind him with exaggerated flair. His smile is as bright as the sun itself, lighting up the whole space. “Fear not, for I shall be your loyal squire in this quest for botanical beauty!”
Despite your earlier annoyance, a reluctant smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. Seokmin has a way of making even the most mundane tasks feel like an adventure. You watch as he bounds toward you, his movements light and full of energy. With an exaggerated show of determination, he rolls up his sleeves, pretending to prepare for battle. The weight of the day feels lighter already.
Together, the two of you dig your hands into the soil, your fingers dirty and the air filled with the soft rustling of the leaves around you. Laughter bubbles up between the two of you, mingling with the breeze as Seokmin’s animated voice brings life to the still afternoon. As you plant flower after flower, he regales you with tales of his fencing matches at Eton, his voice lively, arms waving dramatically to mimic the grand duels he’s fought.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” he says with mock gravity, “this boy was at least twice my size, and I won the match with nothing but clever footwork and a flick of the wrist!” He pantomimes the move, his arm cutting through the air like a sword.
You laugh, shaking your head at his theatrical retelling, the tension of the task dissolving with every story. It’s impossible not to get caught up in his enthusiasm. “Is that so?” you tease, barely holding back a grin.
“I daresay, footwork in fencing is quite the advantageous skill,” Seokmin says, dropping to his knees beside you with faux-seriousness, inspecting the flowerbed as though it holds the secrets to the universe. “If one can move with the grace of a dancer, one can—”
Just as he gestures again, his elbow brushes against your arm, and suddenly, time seems to slow. The lighthearted atmosphere is pierced by a spark, a ripple of warmth that travels through you. Both of you freeze, his eyes widening in surprise. His cheeks flush a light pink as he quickly pulls back, his confidence faltering for a brief second.
“My sincerest apologies,” he stammers, the usual brightness in his voice now tinged with uncharacteristic bashfulness. He resumes his work, his fingers trembling slightly as they sift through the soil. The warmth of the sun suddenly pales in comparison to the heat between you.
“It’s quite all right,” you reply, your voice shaky, your heartbeat far more rapid than you’d like. “Just... gardening, after all.” You try for casualness, but the words sound ridiculous even to your own ears, given the charged air lingering between you.
Moments later, you stand to stretch, hoping to shake off the strange energy that has settled over the both of you. Seokmin leans in to grab a nearby tool, and his shoulder brushes against yours again—this time, the contact lingers for just a second too long. The heat of it sends another jolt through you, making your heart stutter.
You gasp, startled by the unfamiliar sensation, your breath hitching. The warmth spreads from your chest down to your fingertips, a strange, foreign feeling you can’t quite name.
“Goodness! I beg your pardon again,” Seokmin says quickly, his sheepish smile returning, though this time it’s softer, more hesitant. His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place. “It seems I have a propensity for unintentional collisions today.”
That smile—it makes your chest tighten. His presence, usually a source of comfort, now awakens something new within you, something unsettling yet undeniable. Gardening, once nothing but a mundane chore, has transformed into something far more intimate with Seokmin by your side. The flowerbeds seem to flourish under his laughter, vibrant blooms swaying as if they, too, revel in the joy of the moment.
But that foreign sensation? You tuck it deep into your mind, burying it along with the seeds you’ve planted, afraid to decode what it could mean. After all, this is Seokmin—your friend, your constant. And yet, the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin longer than it should, as if it’s quietly asking you to look closer.
My Dearest Seokmin,
I hope this letter finds you in moments of solace amidst the tumult of your recent loss. It is with a heavy heart that I pen these words, having heard of your father’s passing. The news struck me with such a weight, as though the very air around me had grown thick with sorrow. I cannot begin to fathom the grief you must be experiencing, yet please know that my thoughts and prayers are ever with you during this difficult time.
Your father was a remarkable man, a beacon of kindness and integrity, and his absence will undoubtedly leave a profound void in the hearts of all who had the privilege of knowing him. I remember fondly the stories you shared, of his wisdom and warmth, which have clearly shaped the exceptional person you have become. His legacy, I have no doubt, will endure through you.
With his passing, I know you now bear the title of Duke. While this new responsibility may feel daunting, I have every confidence you will honor his legacy with the same grace and strength he embodied. I want you to remember that you are not alone. I am here, dear friend, steadfast and unwavering, ready to support you as you navigate this uncharted territory.
I eagerly await the day when I can see your smile again, and we can talk about the flowers in the garden, just as we always have.
With all my love and deepest sympathies,Y/N
My Dearest Tulip,
Your letter brought me a flicker of light amidst the shadows that have enveloped me since my father’s passing. It is a solace to know that you, too, share in my grief, and your words resonate deeply within me, reminding me that I am not alone in this turbulent sea of sorrow.
Thank you for your kind remembrance of my father. He often spoke of you with such fondness, and knowing how he impacted your life brings me a measure of comfort. His lessons of kindness and integrity remain etched in my heart, and I strive to honor his legacy in every decision I make as Duke. It is a weight I carry with both pride and trepidation, yet the knowledge of your unwavering support gives me strength.
Though this season feels uncharted and daunting, your friendship is a cherished constant. I, too, long for the day when we can stroll through the gardens, exchanging thoughts about the flowers and sharing laughter, just as we once did. Until then, I will hold onto the warmth of your words and the memories we’ve created.
With heartfelt gratitude and affection,Seokmin
Age 16:
When Seokmin and Minghao return home the next spring, it’s clear that Seokmin carries more than just the usual joy and liveliness he always brings with him. A new weight settles over him, one you haven’t seen before. The responsibility of the Dukedom starts to bear down on him, heavy as the cloak he will one day wear. His laugh remains bright, his smile still warm, but there’s something different now—an unspoken awareness that the carefree boy of the past is slowly giving way to the man he is becoming.
He has grown taller, his limbs long and strong, and the way he carries himself now commands attention. The once-boyish face is now defined, the angle of his jaw sharper, while his arms, corded with muscles, show the signs of hard work and training. It’s as if each inch he’s gained has come with a newfound strength, and when he meets your gaze, his eyes hold a certain seriousness, as if he is seeing everything with a fresh perspective.
The easy rhythm of your old routines stays intact—Minghao teasing you until you yell, Seokmin’s booming laughter echoing across the fields, and the reprimands from your mother when your playful shouts interrupt her afternoon peace. It all feels the same, yet beneath it all, you know things are changing.
On one such afternoon, you discover their practice swords—once lost and forgotten—buried haphazardly in the flowerbed among your mother’s beloved tulips. You pull them free with a gasp, the soil still clinging to the metal, and when you bring them to Seokmin, he chuckles, the sound a little sadder than you remember.
“Well,” he says, wiping the dirt from the hilt, “seems like even the tulips want to keep us from growing up too fast, eh, Tulip?”
Despite the weight of responsibility that now shadows him, he still calls you “Tulip.” The name slips easily from his lips, playful and tender, a thread that ties your past to the present. The quiet nickname carries the bittersweet truth: your days of carefree adventures and playful banter are slowly fading, giving way to the responsibilities of adulthood. And while the world around you shifts, that name—whispered in secret—feels like a promise that some part of him, some part of both of you, will always stay the same.
My dearest Tulip,
It is with a heart full of sorrow that I write to you, upon receiving the most distressing news regarding your father’s passing. The world seems dimmer without him, and my thoughts are consumed with the weight of your grief. I wish I could be there, to hold your hand and share in the memories of a man who undoubtedly brought so much light into your life.
When the silence envelops you, when the days stretch long and heavy with unshed tears, know that I am here for you. You need not wear a mask of strength; I shall not expect it. Life has a way of changing in an instant, and though we are thrust into roles we may not be prepared for, there remains solace in companionship.
Please remember, my dear friend, you are not alone in this journey. I stand with you, ready to lend my support and share in whatever you need.
With the utmost affection,Seokmin
My dearest Seokmin,
Your letter reached me at a time when silence has settled heavily over the estate, wrapping around us like a shroud. It feels as though the laughter that once danced through these halls has been swallowed by a void, leaving behind a hushed emptiness. My mother, once so vibrant, now moves about with an air of resignation, her spirit dimmed as if she carries the weight of the world upon her shoulders. The joy that once bloomed within her seems to have withered, and even the flowers in the garden appear to droop, their colors muted in sympathy for our grief.
I often find myself worrying for Minghao. The new title of duke weighs upon him like a heavy cloak, and I fear that the responsibilities thrust upon him will change him in ways I cannot yet understand. I can only imagine the burden he feels, trying to uphold our father's legacy while grappling with the uncertainties of leadership. It frightens me to think of how this shift may alter our relationship, how he might feel compelled to step into a role that distances him from the brother I’ve always known. I fear I may lose him just as I have lost my father.
Yet, amid this uncertainty, your words bring me a flicker of comfort. The knowledge that you stand with me during this turbulent time is a balm for my spirit. I long for your return, for the laughter and warmth that you bring.
Until then, I hold your friendship close to my heart, a gentle reminder that even in the darkest of times, I am not alone.
With all my affection,Y/N
Age 17:
At the onset of spring, when Minghao and Seokmin return to the estate, the world feels subtly transformed. The air is perfumed with the scent of blooming flowers, yet there’s an unmistakable weight in the atmosphere, a quiet acknowledgment of the changes that accompany their new titles. As dukes, both acquire an aura of responsibility that overshadows the playful ease they once share.
The lighthearted teasing that characterizes your interactions is now less frequent, often replaced by a more thoughtful camaraderie. It’s as though their titles impose a certain decorum upon them, one that even the most mischievous of spirits cannot easily shake off. Their laughter, while still present, bears the faintest echo of seriousness that wasn’t there before.
Yet, despite this change, you find immense joy in their company, particularly when they engage in spirited sparring sessions in the training yard. As wooden swords clash and echo, it’s impossible not to feel a thrill at the sight of them—two young gentlemen, once boys, now embodying a gravity that demands respect even in their play.
The matches become a spectacle, each clash of wooden swords accompanied by shouts and laughter that echo through the estate. You perch on the sidelines, an amused spectator, as Seokmin and Minghao banter playfully between bouts. “You call that a strike?” Seokmin teases, deftly dodging your brother’s advance with a lightness that seems almost effortless. “I’ve seen more ferocity from a kitten!”
Minghao rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth betraying a grin despite his best efforts to maintain an air of dignity. “One day, Seokmin, you shall learn that mocking your opponent is a perilous game.”
You perch on the sidelines, unable to stifle the laughter bubbling forth at their antics. Each exchange between them is a delightful dance, weaving a tapestry of shared history and unspoken affection. Yet, as you watch, you cannot help but feel a twinge of wistfulness; the exuberance of their banter now seems to emerge from a place tinged with nostalgia.
The sun dips low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over the training yard; both young gentlemen wield their wooden swords with a fervor that sends a thrill through the onlookers. You remain at a distance, your heart pounding in rhythm with each clash of wood, an exhilaration mingled with unease coursing through you.
Seokmin, with his characteristic bravado, flashes a teasing grin as he engages your brother. “Come now, my lord! Surely you can do better than that!” The laughter in his voice rings like a bell, though you can’t help but feel a knot of apprehension tighten in your chest.
As the match continues, you find yourself transfixed by Seokmin’s agile movements, the way he dances about the training yard with a carefree spirit. However, just as you begin to relax, a delicate butterfly flits past, capturing Seokmin’s attention momentarily. It is in this fleeting distraction that your brother seizes his opportunity, lunging forward with surprising speed.
“Seokmin!” you cry out, the word escaping your lips before you can restrain it. Time seems to elongate as you watch, breathless, as Seokmin turns just in time to evade the wooden sword’s path. He stumbles slightly, regaining his balance as he casts a quick glance your way, surprise etched upon his handsome features.
With your heart racing, you dash to his side, adrenaline coursing through your veins. “Are you quite well?” The urgency in your voice is unmistakable, for the thought of his injury sends a chill through you.
“Indeed, I am unharmed,” he replies, though the forced joviality of his laugh belies the tension of the moment. “Merely caught off guard, I assure you.”
Yet your heart refuses to calm. “You cannot be so reckless! What if you had been injured?” The fervor of your concern envelops you, and you see a flicker of something unspoken in his eyes as he steps closer, the air between you thick with a burgeoning intimacy. That same foreign sensation – the one from years ago when he had brushed against you in the gardens – ignites within you, one you had tucked away and kept hidden, rearing its head in this moment of vulnerability.
“Thank you, Tulip, for your ever-present concern for my well-being,” he murmurs, his voice lowered as he meets your gaze, the world around you fading into an indistinct haze. Just then, Minghao loudly clears his throat, and Seokmin drops his eyes, a bashful blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.
You step away, embarrassed, your heart pounding against your ribcage.
Minghao corners you in the gardens that night, the cool summer breeze brushing against your skin as you take a walk, seeking solace from the tempest of thoughts swirling in your mind. The encounter with Seokmin lingers like a gentle whisper, an unsettling mixture of warmth and confusion that dances at the edges of your consciousness, teasing you with emotions you struggle to understand.
“Sister,” he begins, his voice so soft that you nearly startle. In an instant, he presses a hand against your mouth, his finger raised in a quiet plea for silence. “It’s only me, Y/N. I fear you’ll wake the entire estate.”
“It’s your fault for skulking about the gardens like a common thief!” you whisper back, fiercely. “What on earth could possibly require such urgent discussion that you couldn’t grant me one night of peace?”
His expression grows serious, the playful glint in his eyes replaced by an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “You must be careful, sister,” he admonishes, and in that moment, he seems less like your brother and more like the Duke of Somerset—tall, proud, and formidable. “There are whispers… about you and Seokmin.”
“Whispers? Whatever do you mean?” You search his face for clarification, anxiety bubbling within you.
Minghao shakes his head as if dismissing the very idea of this conversation. A wave of indignation washes over you, eager to burst forth. He may be only two years your elder, yet he still insists on treating you like a child. “Your debut into society draws near,” he continues, his voice measured and resolute. “You mustn’t jeopardize it.”
“But Minghao—” you begin, but he raises a hand, silencing you with a mere gesture.
“Listen. You know how these things unfold. A mere hint of impropriety could tarnish your reputation. I don’t want you to suffer from the kind of gossip that twists the truth.” His tone softens, revealing a hint of genuine concern that pierces through your indignation. “I only want what’s best for you.”
You meet his gaze, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “I am not a child anymore,” you protest, the tremor in your voice betraying a mixture of frustration and uncertainty. “I am capable of making my own choices.”
“Perhaps,” he replies, his eyes steady and unwavering. “But I have a responsibility to protect you, Y/N. I don’t wish to stifle your spirit, but you must grasp the implications of your actions.”
The night air grows thick with unspoken sentiments, and as the stars twinkle overhead like mischievous spectators, you grapple with the tumult in your heart. There’s something about Seokmin that sends ripples of confusion coursing through you, a fluttering sensation that stirs your chest whenever his name crosses your mind. You do not fully comprehend what it is, but it’s undeniably present—a flicker of something more, leaving you teetering on the precipice of feelings you are not yet ready to confront.
My dearest Seokmin,
As I sit here with this pen in hand, I find myself quite at a loss. The arrival of my debut looms on the horizon, and while I am certainly filled with anticipation, I must confess that trepidation dances in my chest, quite uninvited. The notion of standing before an audience of peers—well-bred and well-mannered—fills me with an unease I cannot quite articulate. Will my words tumble forth in a jumbled mess? Or worse, will they fall on deaf ears?
I cannot shake the dreadful thought that I may never find a match. What if I enter that grand ballroom, adorned in my finest gown, and am met with indifference? Will the charming suitors twirl past me, whisking away others while I stand, forgotten, on the periphery? The idea sends a shiver down my spine, as I fear I may spend the evening watching the festivities unfold without me.
As I consider the expectations that accompany my debut, I can’t help but reflect on how you and Minghao have gracefully embraced your new roles as dukes. You carry the weight of your responsibilities with such elegance, while I find myself yearning to flourish in a world that feels daunting. Will I, too, be able to navigate this landscape of expectation and propriety, or will I falter under its weight?
Forgive my ramblings, dear friend. I suppose I am merely hoping for reassurance, a kind word from you. Perhaps if I know you will be there—your presence a familiar balm—I might muster the courage to dance and revel in the splendor of the evening.
With warmest regards and hopeful heart,Your Tulip
My Dearest Tulip,
Your recent letter has landed in my hands like a most delightful spring breeze, though I must confess it carries with it a hint of unease that quite unnerves me. How is it that my steadfast friend, who has faced the world with such spirited determination, now frets over the prospects of the ballroom?
First and foremost, allow me to put your mind at ease. The mere thought of you standing in that grand ballroom, adorned in the finest gown, is enough to illuminate the dimmest of corners. Your charm will be as radiant as the most exquisite of chandeliers, drawing the gaze of all who are fortunate enough to cross your path. I assure you, the gentlemen will hardly be able to focus on anything—or anyone—else.
Now, I cannot let this opportunity pass without a bit of teasing – regarding your step upon my toes during our lessons – I daresay I must bring up a rather amusing memory. I cannot help but recall how you sent both Minghao and me reeling across the room, much like a pair of wayward marionettes! One can only hope that with age comes grace—or at the very least, a better sense of foot placement! If not, I shall be prepared to don the most resilient shoes in all of England.
Worry not, dear Tulip. I shall be by your side the entire season, if you shall have me (although, I am not entirely certain your dear brother will be entirely pleased by this idea).
Your most loyal servant,Seokmin
Dearest Sister,
As I sit at my desk, I cannot help but feel a mixture of pride and exasperation as I pen this letter. Our infrequent exchanges have become quite the tradition, have they not? I find it amusing that as your brother, I am often left to await your words while Seokmin is constantly regaled by your stories.
With your debut looming closer, I feel it is my solemn duty as both your brother and your Duke to remind you of the delicate nature of polite society. Your debut is not merely an occasion to don a gown and curtsy to the queen; it is a rite filled with expectations and decorum. I implore you to be mindful of the company you keep and the propriety that is expected of you as a young lady and the sister of the Duke. I have taken it upon myself to speak to Seokmin, warning him of the same – he has a habit of forgetting his own station in moments of levity.
While I know you must find these constraints stifling, know that the eyes of the ton will soon be upon you, not only assessing your beauty but also your character. You are the jewel of our family, and I trust you will shine brightly, even amidst these expectations.
Write to me when you can, dear sister, even if it is infrequent. Your musings are treasures to your dear elder brother, and I await them constantly.
With all my love, Minghao
Dearest Brother,
I say this with the utmost love and devotion:
Damn you.
(Please forgive my language, and please, do not show this letter to Mama. I fear her admonishments may never end if she hears of my vernacular)
I am acutely aware of the expectations that accompany my debut – how could I forget when both you and Mama loom over me like a pair of hawks? While I recognize your intentions, your words do little to alleviate my anxiety.
Your warning regarding Seokmin only serves to make me laugh. It is amusing, truly, to envision the Duke of Lancaster being chided by my brother on the virtues of propriety. I promise to keep my wits about me and to present myself with all the elegance expected of a young lady of my station (the sister of a Duke, no less!).
I will do my utmost to avoid a scandal – or at the very least, I shall ensure that you do not hear of it. I shall write again soon, if only to unleash more of my exasperation upon you.
Yours, in (implied) rebellion, Y/N (Sister of the Duke of Somerset)
Age 18:
On the eve of your debut, you find yourself seated on the swing in the garden of the Somerset townhome, the night cloaked in an almost palpable tension. The sounds of Mayfair filter through the stillness—a symphony of distant laughter, the soft clatter of carriages, and the occasional rustle of silk skirts—as the ton settles into slumber. The air feels electric, crackling with anticipation, as if the entire world is holding its breath, waiting for the events of the morrow to unfold.
You take a deep drag from the cigarette you swiped from Minghao’s rooms, the smoke spiraling into the night like a fleeting thought. With each inhale, you hope to drown out the anxious fluttering of your heart, a dissonant rhythm that accelerates at the mere thought of tomorrow’s debut.
“Why, Lady Xu Y/N, are you smoking?” The voice breaks through your reverie, causing you to sputter and cough, hastily attempting to conceal the cigarette behind your back. You turn to see Seokmin, leaning casually against the sturdy oak tree that secures the swing, his figure silhouetted against the moonlight.
His presence is both familiar and disarming, the boyish charm of his smile juxtaposed against the weight of his title. “No, Seokmin, I—” you stammer, flustered.
“Shove over,” he commands lightly, and before you can protest, he plucks the cigarette from your frozen grip, taking a deep, leisurely drag. The sight of him—so confident, so carefree—sets your heart racing in a way that both delights and terrifies you.
“What on earth are you doing here?” you ask incredulously, half-exasperated, half-amused.
“I was with your brother at White’s,” he replies, amusement dancing in his eyes. “It was my mistake to forget how little he can imbibe before devolving into an utter fool. I was merely making sure he returned home safely.” His tone shifts, curiosity sparkling in his gaze. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”
“Excited? Hardly,” you grumble, kicking at the scattered rocks beneath your feet. “What my heart truly desires is to run away—pack my things, flee to Paris, and open a quaint little bookstore. Perhaps live out my days as a spinster, surrounded by novels and solitude.”
Seokmin’s expression shifts, a shadow of understanding passing across his features. “We cannot always have what our hearts desire,” he says, his voice tinged with a hint of sorrow as he exhales a plume of smoke. “Sometimes, we must accept that we can find happiness in what we have, not in what could have been.”
You watch the smoke dance and dissipate into the night sky, thoughts swirling as restlessly as the tendrils of fog around you.
“And you?” you ask quietly, the question escaping before you can catch it. “What does your heart desire?”
“Desired,” he corrects, taking another deep drag. “I once dreamed of being a fencer, of dueling beneath the sun. But above all, I yearned to find love.”
Your heart stutters at his admission. His thigh brushes against yours, an electric touch that feels so scandalously intimate you can hardly breathe. You suddenly become acutely aware of the nightgown you wear, the thin fabric doing little to shield you from the heat radiating from his body. If Minghao were to catch you in this moment, you are certain he would demand that Seokmin either marry you on the spot or duel him for your honor.
The very thought sends a shiver down your spine—an improper thought that both terrifies and thrills you. You are a young lady, poised to make your debut, and here you are, perched so closely to an eligible duke, the expectations of the ton looming like a dark cloud. What would society say if they were to discover you in this clandestine moment? The whispers would be deafening, your reputation in tatters, and yet… the thrill of it, the danger, pulls at you like a siren's song.
“And you believe you shall never find it?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I am a Duke, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice so soft it barely pierces the night air. “Duty must come first. If there is any part of me left, which there rarely is, only then can I pursue love.”
The distance between you feels both impossibly vast and achingly close, the weight of his words pressing against you like an invisible force. You can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the unspoken longing that mirrors your own.
You hum, encouraging him to continue, yet the weight of his words presses down on your chest.
“But how fortunate am I,” he continues, his gaze piercing through the night like a beacon, “to have found such a remarkable friend who stands by me even as duty threatens to drown me where I stand.”
A friend. The word lingers between you, heavy and loaded. Is that truly all he sees you as? The realization sends your mind reeling, your heart racing in an entirely different way.
No, the trees whisper, urging you to reconsider.
Could it be…love?
That foreign sensation, long buried beneath layers of propriety and friendship, now unfurls within you, roots taking hold. You realize with a start that you have loved Seokmin, perhaps from that very first kiss on your hand all those years ago, long before you could articulate the feelings swirling in your heart.
Panic courses through you, and you leap up from the swing as if it has burned you. “It is late, Lord Lee. I must take my leave now,” you stammer, unable to meet his gaze. “I hope you find your way home safely.”
He reaches out, his hand brushing against your wrist, and your breath hitches at the contact. “Wait,” he says, his voice low, almost laced with concern. “Are you alright? You seem... distant.”
His eyes search yours, and you feel the weight of his gaze, an anchor that both comforts and terrifies you. Your pulse quickens, a frantic rhythm echoing in your ears. What would it mean to linger here a moment longer, to let the night wrap around you like a cocoon?
But all the books you’ve read offer no preparation for the heartache that comes with knowing he regards you as merely a friend. A friend, just like your brother. You are his friend, and the shattering realization settles in: he will never love you back.
“Tulip?” he adds softly, the word a whisper that brushes against your skin like the wind.
You swallow hard, every part of you aching to give in, to lean into the connection pulsing between you. But the truth looms like a storm cloud overhead, dark and inevitable.
You love Lord Lee Seokmin, Duke of Lancaster, but he will never love you.
And with that heavy knowledge weighing on your heart, you turn to leave, every step toward your room feeling like a betrayal to the emotions simmering just beneath the surface.
You don’t sleep at all, thoughts consumed by a boy you had once known and the man you now love.
Tagging: @kibs-and-bits @moondustmemories @shinwonderful @ivehypnosis @gwend0lyne @thestoryofana13
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This is sincere, even if it may not come off that way
I’ve been engaging in gender fuckery for many years, and I’ve never felt even remotely comfortable with my body in a sexual way- I have never had an orgasm mostly due to dysphoria and feeling disgusting when touching myself or thinking about sex, but I’ve been stalking your blog for several weeks and it has helped my relationship with myself leaps and bounds, and I’m thinking pretty heavily about maybe going on some dates and putting myself out there.
As I’ve been doing my ✨self reflection ✨ I was feeling really gross about exploring my sexuality via porn bc most of what I was finding within the realm of trans people (esp trans people with my genitals) felt super fetishy and as though trans folk are nothing more than sex objects, and while you do an AMAZING job of making me feel like a sex object (I a way I never thought I could aka in a positive way), it’s really clear that you think of your fiancé and the other people you interact with and talk about as people.
(Also- im only a few months younger than you and it’s cray cray to me that you’re engaged- it really makes me feel like there is hope for me and for other trans people who might be a little bit later bloomers- I hope you have the best engagement and if you want to get married I hope your marriage is even better)
🫶🫶
This is so so so sweet to hear. So much trans porn has just horrible vibes and I really wanted to make some stuff that was validating and I’m glad that’s come across and helped people feel more comfortable sexually. Hope dating goes well for you and definitely don’t compare your relationship to mine, I happened to be very successful with a guy I met at age 11 which is not going to be true for most people.
You’ll find someone though and make sure not to settle. I’m not with my fiancé because he’s the first trans person I saw or something. I’m with him because he’s the only person I’ve ever met that I feel like actually knows everything about me, good, bad, ugly, and loves and appreciates me for all of those things. I’m with him because he has helped through every struggle I’ve dealt with for years and years always making me feel better the best he can and not getting jaded. There’s just something that clicks when you realize you’re with a person who truly loves you for you and vis versa. Sorry for sappy side tangent but I just want trans people to experience feeling sincerely loved since that’s hard to come by for us usually. You’ll find someone like that but you definitely have to put yourself out there to do it.
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this is such a sweet quote and Lando's said exactly the same as well <3<3
but askfgsalfg why is this proving what I've kinda been suspecting and Zak doesn't rly fit in with landoscar and has largely not had as much to do w the driver partnership as he used to
we already knew from Andrea that Lando and Oscar do their own little separate debriefs and they were so excited about getting their own door separating them from everyone where it used to be in a shared hallway (including Zak)
but the golf, the dinners and the marketing stuff is all referring to Carlos' and Daniel's eras. Oscar couldn't even be bribed to play golf, is literally famous for not wanting to do marketing/contrived PR content and not being good at it, and the only "dinner" situation after Hungary was Lando and Oscar eating fast food with other drivers and then playing board games with Alex on the flight home ?? we also know that these debrief dinners don't happen otherwise bc Oscar usually goes home to sleep or out with Lily and Lando goes out being a very single guy or gaming w Max and BanKai etc. that post race debrief finishes and those two peace OUT. and tbh the amount that they've chosen to fly together to and from things now Oscar lives in Monaco, they've taken even more of that debriefing into their own hands!
like I just get the vibe that Zak doesn't rly have the boys club anymore and Andrea being Dad to his two kids is how things are rly being managed. even down to him sometimes wanting to be the bad guy that the two kids bond over hating sometimes even tho they love Dad really. that's just not a dynamic I see Zak fitting into. (and ngl probably some of the Daniel era in particular those tensions needed to be managed between him and Zak but aaaaaanyway)
I say this as someone who fully expects Lando and Oscar to have normal teammate fights at some point where there's the strong words to the media and angry radios etc etc - the fact that they decided so early on in their relationship to do a teammate version of 'private but not secret' couple thing of keeping fans and media out of their business, both good and bad, means they're absolutely discussing and strategizing about this (bc especially after alpinegate and taking Daniel's seat, it would've been very handy and easy for them to go a bromance angle!). which as a charlos veteran and also someone who knew the Max and Lando fight would blow over faster than anyone thought it would, I'm never going to be fazed by a fight between Lando and Oscar - but I'm also just not sold on it ever getting as out of control as so many people want/expect it to. and I feel that way partly at least bc I think there's been sort of a gen z gender neutralling happened to McLaren bc of this partnership (not as much of the usual of masculine/boys being boys energy*)
but also bc there's only one big personality/celebrity instead of two. off the track, Lando and Oscar perfectly compliment each other's personalities including how their friendship is a quiet thing rather than a big media-beloved bromance so they don't have the burden of managing fan expectations and reactions about it. you can kind of parallel it with the Lando and Max fight last season bc those two are genuinely involved in each other's lives as friends and spend the most time with each other than any other driver, including Lando being a regular fixture in Max's little family - but Max doesn't do PR at all so a lot of people still don't know how close they are. so the assumption was that their fight was this massive thing and the end of their relationship but a lot of us were like pfffff this'll blow over and Penelope's uncle will be back before she could even notice.
in the same way, Lando and Oscar doing all their bonding time out of the public eye and being the only two people who truly know how they feel about each other at any time means they are the only authority anyone should listen to! when they say 'fight over' they mean fight over! when they giggle and laugh waiting for a plane together after Monza or smile in relief at each other immediately after getting out of the cars in Hungary, then that's the truth! they're choosing not to let fans and the media in on this so that fans or the media can't feel they know better and contradict them!
and that's where I think Zak is more on the outside of things too. when even Andrea is like yea these boys are talking about things before speaking to their own teams then it feels like that's a real shift away from the explosive teammate dynamics everyone keeps referring to.
*which I'm not saying is inherently bad or toxic! esp since the dynamic of it with Lando and Carlos and Daniel was of scrungly little brother and adoring loud big brother <3
#inchidentallyanessay#rpf and silliness fully off for this one#also an explanation of why I'll never become one of these blogs who chooses one over the other#mostly bc all rich men and rich men in sports are pointless and not worth stanning literally ever#but also bc they just don't share a shred of similar dna to partnerships like prost senne or rosberg hamilton#like charles and carlos literally had warring families and garages at times and every time it all came good#landoscar is simply not that Continental or Emotional aslfgasljfgsajlf#for reference
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also i think this just perfectly highlights this sort of specific mentality we see so often when discussing blockades people face in life - but you see it most around discussions about disability.
"Well *I* can do it" and "Just get ___" are two common rhetorics that get lobbed at you all the time.
Like, for one thing we are not talking about individual cases here, but thousands to millions. That you can find a solution yourself does not automatically mean it's a solution for the millions we're talking about. If it was, there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.
And lets be honest, if you're making a meal with TEN servings for $15 or under, it is not going to be a fully nutritional meal. Basically the only meals that can be made at that price are going to be staple grains or beans and MAYBE if you are very lucky, a very small amount of very cheap and low-quality meat. Sure, that's fine occasionally - it isn't detrimentally unhealthy - but it isn't the kind of meal you should be eating every single day for every single meal. Not only does your body require more nutrients than that, but you'll very quickly find how much worse bad, bland food can make your depression and a shitty situation worse.
There was a time when you could make alllll sorts of meals for $15 or less. Pretty healthy meals too! Ones that could last you a few days, even. But that was at a time when cans of tuna were still like 30c and less, when canned veg was like 20c, when eggs were not even a whole dollar for a dozen. i'm very fortunate that where i live is like cattle paradise and thus we have incredibly low-cost beef compared to the rest of the country, but even still it's hard to find your basic chuck roast under $10 now. fucking chicken breasts are hard to find for under $10. CHICKEN!!
and, let us not forget that minimum wage has still not yet raised since 2009. yet our jobs have grown exponentially harder and more stressful, our hours longer, commute times worse, and our general health is in the shitter bc nobody can afford having just a routine primary care physician anymore.
Yet the mentality is still somehow stuck in this early 00s era. That lifestyle is not sustainable anymore. Hasn't been for a long time.
And as for "just get ___" okay, so tell me how? Is someone without an appliance to cook with meant to just starve themselves for a week to save in order to buy said appliance? yes, you would save money if you could get a thing to cook with, but in the meantime you still have to eat. and yet again that doesn't address any other blockade that there may well be. so maybe they get like, a toasteroven and a hot plate. awesome. now what good is that if they come in from a 10 hour shift at 9pm and have only enough time to shower before needing to get to bed for the next day's shift? how does having that appliance help them if they can't physically operate it? how would having a hot plate save any money if their dietary needs are far too costly from a grocer? If they have no place to store cold ingredients?
It isn't about individual issues. It isn't just ONE thing that has caused this big stupid problem. solve one thing and there's seven more problems still blocking the ultimate solution. It's a whole fucking mess of issues that continue to get worse and worse as capitalism continues to suck up more of our lives.
and you know what, i'll be the first one to admit that SOMETIMES, yes, i am just fucking lazy. But most times, I'm faced with like five different blockades and some of them aren't even shit I listed - like sharing a house with three people who work very different shifts and when *I* have time to use the kitchen, I run the risk of waking someone else up. Even if nothing else stood in my way, I only have the ability to cook without disturbing someone 1 day a week. i can only imagine what a nightmare it must be for folks with 4 and 5 housemates on different schedules.
there's been a bit of a Hot Topic going around bsky (and twt too i guess) about why my age group (particularly in the US) doesn't cook at home much anymore
and there's been a whole lot of takes ranging from dogshit to good and intelligent to total confusion from folks in other countries. neat stuff right. decided to throw my 2 cents in from my own perspective as part of the demographic.
the tldr of it being: there are *several* factors that make it not worth it nor cost efficient anymore where it once was. obviously that isn't gonna be the case for everyone, but it is the case for an overwhelming majority, me included. and this isn't even including, you know, a whole population of disabled people who are physically unable to cook for themselves but I sort of figured that was a given. but maybe not, considering...
then this absolute genius comes in
thank you buddy for having no reading comprehension and missing quite literally every single point i made that it isn't strictly about the dollar amount of the meal itself. like. okay??? good for you i guess.
sure, there will be some meals where that is very true. I could make a bigass pot of ham and beans that'll last me a whole week for about $10. hence why i added there will always be some meals cheaper to make at home. but that completely disregards every. other. point.
it is not, and has never been, about the direct cost of the meal itself. that's just one of a handful of reasons that factor into the whole conversation. there are going to be times that eating out will be more expensive price-wise, but when it checks off like 5 different boxes i couldn't fulfill myself for whatever reason, that price balances out. and we really are in an age where we're having to negotiate the worth of every action we take and every minute we spend on something. i don't know why thats such a hard concept for people to grasp.
legit nobody is arguing it *should* be this way. it shouldn't. we all recognize this. in the ideal world it would be both worth it and affordable to make every meal at home and leave eating out for special occasions, as was the case when i was growing up. and i totally get it that our parents, many of whom raised us by their lonesome, managed to do it fine so in theory we should be able to as well. sometimes, yeah, it really is a matter of sucking it up and doing it no matter how exhausted you might be. that's true for all facets of life tbh. but it shouldn't be that way all the time every time.
and, i don't know about the rest of you, but for us? it really was a whole fucking To Do to clip coupons and plan Shopping Day. I'd spend a couple hours clipping from a few different newspapers and the mail fliers we collected. then we organized them by store. then mom would plan out which stores we would go to for which items,the route we'd take since sometimes it meant going outside of town, the timeframe for everything since it was typically an all-day event. like, a whole day of planning and a whole day of executing JUST to grocery shop, and that was back in the 90s/00s. Inconvenient, yes, but still actually worth the trouble. couponing saved SO much money back then, especially if you knew the stores that would double them. coupons like those don't exist anymore. period. now the ones that do are like, pennies off or bogo deals and otherwise it's app this and app that for any sort of savings - which even then might only be like a meager 10% off the purchase. in no way is it worth my time and effort today to do the same thing we did when i was young.
anyway. so yeah. for a hell of a lot of us, sometimes going out to eat or ordering in is in fact the most worthwhile way, and sometimes even the most cost efficient way, to feed ourselves anymore.
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hi bae,can you do 2008tom x reader where they’re madly in love but can’t be together bc of their families+a little bit of smut xx
Our special place
2008 Tom Kaulitz x Fem reader!
⟡ summary: Tom and you have been in love for a while, however, your parents don't accept your friendship with him, since your families were so different. He was raised in a free-spirited way. While you were raised in a totally rough environment with strict parents.
⟡ indludes: family issues, smut 18+.
a/n: hello doll, hope you like it. Sorry if this is too short, this got posted by accident and i cant put it on drafts now, i promise part 2 will be better (if u want part 2) ^^ -> here's part 2 ☁️
You want to be with Tom since you are so in love with him. You love how careless of the world he is. But your parents think you should be with someone who is more serious and will be able to provide for your family.
He loves you as well. He always tries to sneak into your room, and he always give you something, but it wasn't anything fancy or expensive, but the things you like. The two of you always go out together to drink coffee in some small cafe not too far from your house.
You two always meet in a local playground, or sometimes you sneak to Tom's house without your parents knowing this. You enjoyed this a lot, but your parents weren't really happy by hearing the new gossip about their daughter being with a wild teenager.
This all began when they caught you and Tom kissing, and your father screamed: "He is too dangerous for you. This isn't allowed!" And that's why you two started dating in secret.
You would always fight with them, since you both knew that you loved each other. Your parents wanted the best for you, they were worried he might get you pregnant. They said to you that he is a bad guy. A good for nothing, that is what they called him, which you hated the most about what they told you.
Today, you went to do homework to a friend's house. Which was a lie, you went to Tom's house.
You just arrived at Tom's when he kissed you and whispered. "I missed you so much, baby." Which made you happy. You never have the real love from your parents, and here was Tom, fixing all your problems. Being with him felt like a band-aid to your heart.
Tom took his shirt off and you started to give him some kisses on the neck and chest. He was playing with your hair and he said how much he loves you.
You smiled and took off your shirt as well. You felt really comfortable with him, and you never been so comfortable with someone.
Your heart was beating fast and Tom could tell you were excited. He pushed you on the bed and started to give you a lot of kisses again.
"I love you so much" you said to Tom.
"I love you more" Tom whispered and gave you a lot of kisses. Suddenly your phone started to ring. Your mother was wondering why the hell aren't you home. You knew it's late and you should probably go home.
PART 2???
#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz x reader#tokio hotel#bill kaulitz#gustav schäfer#georg listing#2000s#2000s nostalgia
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Hickey for the character asks pls? 👉👈
ohohoho! lovey suggestion !! i am always down to talk about a fellow ratt, so yes of course!
First Impression: IS THAT FUCKING HICKEY?? THE FERRET FACED FUCK I HATED WITH MY WHOLE BEING? THAT'S HIM? THEY MADE HIM A FUCKING TWINK???? People better not be fucking woobifying him i swear to god...
Impression Now: ohh noo. oh no my worst fear has come to life... i like hickeyyyy i like him a lotttt. i feel like this is how billy feels just "oh god. oh god is this working for me? son of a bitch it's working" On a real note though, he is sooo fascinating to me. He's a lot more genuine than i think people give him credit for. He's just so paranoid and has been taught to be so self-sufficient that it overrides any actual connection he might make with people. When given the chance to help, he does so, even if it is often tied to making himself look good. He didn't have to help Manson and Hartnell take Hornby's body down. He could've just cut in to undermine Irving and left it at that. He didn't have to grave rob to propose to Billy. He could've left everyone to burn in the carnival. (The fact he gutted McDonald do so and only looked as upset as "you fucking idiot, you stained my knife"... well that's just the other half of his personality showing) But he does all that. bc he does care. in his own twisted, detached way. Adam Nagaitas said something to this tune in an interview and its like. yeah!! he does care!! ...he just cares about getting himself on top (👀) more than any of that.
Favorite Moment: Goddddd what a hard question. Is it bugger victoria? (shout out fitzjamesbulletwound) Is it ratt wedding? (his smile is so sweet) is it his speech at the gallows? ("BUT ABANDONING HIS SHIP!!! SHOULD NOT BE AMONG THEMMM ☝️") i could be predictable and say its him taking his lashing like a fucking champ. his cheeky fucking smile throughout really encapsulates his "fuck you, I'll endure just to spite you" attitude. No it's not any of that. It's his casual smoke after he and billy get caught. it's really indicative of his personality and the unshakable force he'll be in the narrative. "there's worse things than being lashed ;)"
Idea for a Story: would loveeee to do a deep dive into his past. even if leaving it a mystery is more compelling, I'd really like to see what kinda menace he is on the streets of england.
Unpopular Opinion: that he actually doesn't want to eat people. he wasn't going into this with the hope that they'd turn cannibal. the situation had just gotten so dire and his lead poisoning and/or god compex had corroded his brain so bad he probably thought it made him an apex predator.
Favorite Relationship: He's got so many delicious dynamics to choose from but I think I'll go Crozier. He wants to be his friend. He wants to usurp him. He wants to fuck him. He wants to kill and eat him. He doesn't want his men to rough him up. He greatly looks forward to having a chat with him at the end of the world. He chains him to a boat.
Favorite Headcanon: that he plays the piano. and he's not great, but he knows his way around it. and its great fun to play for a crowd of belligerently drunk assholes who dont know the difference.
ANYWAYS THANK U THANK U FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT THIS FREAK <3333
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2025 wips
thank you for the tag @anincompletelist <3
i am a perpetual too-many-wips disaster so i'm always grateful for an opportunity to lay out what i'm working on.
malex pretty woman au (roswell new mexico)
my next big project is the malex pretty woman au. alex is the rich, detached businessman, michael is captivating in tiny blue shorts and thigh high boots. do you see the vision? i need to make a banner and pick a title!
(i make ONE comment to @bigassbowlingballhead about craving a certain type of fic and suddenly i'm being enabled into my next longfic 🙃). i am genuinely so excited about this one. i've got about 5k written and the whole fic is plotted. i'm thinking this will be in the 25-30k range? maybe? honestly jon is better at estimating my word counts than i am so who knows. still not sure if i'll finish writing this one and then edit and post chapter by chapter or what i'll do, but i think i'll be able to get this one up this year.
firstprince exes (rwrb)
if i have another big project in me i would LOVE to finish my outsider pov firstprince exes fic. i love love love this weird little fic but it is a real challenge to write.
sequels & additional chapters
part 3 of conformation (rnm) will be just alex and michael after their fun with maria at the club. maybe alex will make good on his idea of tying michael up and seeing how much he can take. i could write millions of words of sub!michael please do not tempt me.
chapter 3 of after hours (first prince/rwrb) aka mechanic alex will be alex and henry's first date.
one shots
come back inside is a malexa morning after the airstream scene fic...what if michael convinced alex to stay? this is probably more than half written. malexa my beloved 😍
hunting guide au (tknp, men's hockey rpf). tk hires pat for a guided hunt with his young daughter.
these might not happen 😐
shadow is a buddie fic that was gonna be a big bang fic (which will never happen) but i *could* finish and post the first few chapters as a one shot. featuring baby eddie having his mind blown by a slightly older, extremely gay buck at a college party while visiting his sister.
i wanna be adored is an elliott/marco, marco gets dropped into crystal valley fic that i've written about 5k for but can't quite get to do what i want. when i started writing it there were no kissingchambers fics, but there are lots now! so if you like them you should probably just read those bc this bad boy probably won't see the light of day even though i've got about 5k written.
dumotanger omegaverse college au (men's hockey rpf) - y'know i really love this one and i am unhinged about dumotanger but i think there's just something missing here that i haven't been able to figure out. i'd love to finish it if i do though! i've got maybe 3k written.
okay those are the ones with something significant written. i have LOTS of other abandoned wips and ideas, plus i always like to do some kind of short prompt series. i haven't done femslash february in a while so maybe i could write a few ficlets for that? maybe do some shuffle prompts again? hmmm. we'll see, we'll see.
my askbox and dms are always open for questions about my fic, wips, ideas, etc. <3
open tag for anyone with wips they wanna share!!!
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bro REALLY likes opposites attract
something something horrordust is most interesting to me when they're opposed in some senses. in this case, murder's self-proclaimed "selflessness" (his savior complex speaking) and horror's very apparent selfishness.
#and that's valid ‼️‼️‼️ mtt have a bunch of conflicting themes in their characters for a REASON ‼️‼️‼️#GOD i love seeing other people's ideas about mtt dynamics.....ahaahahausha i'm being fed so well today x333#this reminds me of my own angel dust and horror post lul x3#uagaausha i love angel dust and demon horror so much.... had to explicitly state it in my mtt fic bc i love it so much 🤤🤤🤤#when i think about horrordust i often think about like. how they'd disagree with each other on their own decisions too i lob it#horror would literally just tell dust to give up....... because there's NO point. he can see that clear as day (and this isnt just because#he hates what dust's doing too. killing everyone over and over knowing theyll all come back again....#getting some sort of sick enjoyment out of it and yet continuing even when he feels sad about it#it's pointless. what's the point when there's no hope you can even save them? just give up dust bro.......)#but then of course there's the other side of dust where he literally could never give up#he's not like horror who lets his underground suffer long and painful and depressing lives#is that almost just as bad as what dust's doing?? depends on how guilty he feels that day but he knows objectively#also that what horror's doing IS bad as him. because unlike dust he actually DID have a chance for hope if he had just sacrificed himself#if horror wouldve just given up his own self and beliefs like dust did then maybe HE wouldn't cause the suffering of everyone and himself#they both have their own conflicting ideals (as do all of the mtt (one of my favorite parts about them :3)) but also there's some similarity#eventually theyre bound to think the preposterous idea that MAYBE what dust/horror did wasnt so bad#because both of their ideas and thought processes are just so similar if they just threw away SOME of their stubbornness they could easily#put themselves in eachothers shoes. but they dont. theyre incredibly stubborn (how is horror on the same level of stubborn as dust with DT?)#so as always with anything i say about the mtt and their development.......... THIS HAPPENS AFTER YEARS OF KNOWING EACH OTHER#godDAMN it world's slowest slowburn strikes again 😞😞😞😞#NOT bringing up hrkl or kist to compare to them because this was supposed to be a horrordust post WASN'T IT 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨#and then look at you......... talking more about those 2 than hrdt 😒😒😒#i appreciate the hrdt thoughts (and kist/hrkl too hehe x3) UNHINGED VERSION WHEN ⁉️⁉️🙏🙏#tricule rb
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Ok but like, Satan saw the dramatic swipe of this bitch and still NOTHING, no questions asked no eyebrows rise
Is he so used to dramatic bitches/twinks (lucifer, stolas bc he straight up started singing and noone batted an eye, Vassagos big star as a T pose to Andrealphus ice peacock) or is being dramatic a Goetia thing
It could also be that backstabbing each other is so comum with the goetia that at this point he just rolls with it and let shit hit the fan
#helluva boss#hb#helluva boss spoilers#... he could also have added to “for the next 100 years ;)” as a small hit at andre? tho i doubt it bc the more that i watch this epsode#the more i think satan has no fucking idea what he's doing besides playing the big bad judge role... wich coukd also explaing why he isn't#as facy dressed as the rest of the sins? but then again i thing leviatan and belphegor aren't too so the show#might just whent with default design for the new sins to just ease the audience to them#even if their defaultdesign doesn't match the... ocasion. unlike the 3 we know
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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