#not acting as a self-insert and for hating her dark haired bad boy LI.) but audiences aren’t primed to forgive say blonde LIs so

[bookishfeylin]

It took me so painfully long to realize that people hate Tamlin for locking up Feyre and keeping secrets from her but not Cassian and Rhysand for likewise locking up and keeping secrets from their mates, respectively, because people truly don’t hate the abusive actions that were committed but rather they hate the love interest who did them. It’s why any and all attempts to analyze who’s abusive and who’s healthy and whatnot fall flat, I think, and why the dangers of viewing actions as abuse depending solely on the person and not their actual actions themselves have dangerous real world repercussions.

will delete later but imma gonna rant bc i can and yall be sending me these things knowing im gonna snap but HEY i guess ill take over hate.💀

you know, when we said that cassian was abusive in acosf, and that his behavior was not only unromantic, but very much parallel to the way tamlin treated feyre in maf – we were met with contention. it was ‘cassian is the best bat boy!” “how can you hate cassian” and “you guys always find problems” 

but if when the conversation becomes something like nessian >>> feysand or cassian >>> rhysand then suddenly all of the red flags that cassian showed in sf and even in acowar become apparent. then you guys can point out the problems in the hike, how cassian treated nesta horribly, wasn’t attentive. how cassian sexualized her body, and used her body, how he wouldn’t even give nesta sugar even though she was literally suffering through something adjacent to an eating disorder, where she wasn’t eating or practicing self-hygiene. now you see how he doesn’t tell nesta that she is loved, how he calls her out of her name, how he repeatedly disrespects her boundaries.

it is abuse. say it with me: a b u s e. 

it was easy for y’all to blame the 25 y/o and not the 530+ y/o who personally saw himself in charge of her mental health journey, against her wishes, locked in her in the house with him, and then made sexual comments about her while continually isolating every part of her life, and having her do things on behalf of the court and the library with no money. 

and then y’all argued that more responsibility should be placed on nesta and not the immortal man who literally put himself in charge of every aspect of her life. that nesta somehow deserved that bc she was difficult. that argument is deranged. i don’t give a shit how ‘difficult’ nesta was,’ she is still the victim. that you guys believe other wise belies a fundamental understanding of abuse and domestic violence 

and it wasn’t like writing a 2000+ words of textual evidence, scene by scene parallels was enough – nah. all we have to do is realign the conversation a character v. character debate and suddenly it becomes very clear. 

and as i said, i always fucking knew y’all saw the problems, even when y’all called them ridiculous. but if the conversation was removed of y’all hate for nesta and recontextualized as a feysand v. nessian argument all of a sudden you guys can see the abuse. its absolutely disgusting. 

and even then, the acknowledgement of these issues is only because you want to laugh at nesta for being in that abusive predicament. because of course these issues only matters when your trying to prove a tit-for-tat point about what batboy is better. cassian was abusive. the hike was one of the most disgusting act of abuse in that book.

and this matters bc literally we watched a man – a famous actor – sue the woman who he abused, and then have the whole world argue that she deserved the abuse because she was a difficult woman. we saw her sa be mocked, her trauma dubbed ‘not realistic enough bc thats not how real victims act, we saw people fandomize a grown real life man (a HASBEEN) and it has now set a trend where abusers are suing their victims arguing the SAME argument, it matters. we watched as  RAPE threats were suddenly ‘okay’ bc the victim was ‘difficult’ that the 20 something y/o somehow how more power and money than the the man twice her age, with triple the funds. 

 y’all are absolutely disgusting and i will NEVER take any of u anti nesta people seriously like y’all are nasty people. 

y’all tried. 

[p---ink]

Teach Me.

Author’s Note: So. I finally made a Peter Parker Fiction. And I know the gif is Arvin Russell, but that is for a reason, and maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't, BUT TELL ME IF YOU DO. So this is an unnamed OC fiction, but its mostly reader insert, aside from the fact that she’s black (surprise, surprise) and she has brown eyes. I made her an “OC” because of that fact. Also, get ready for some fluffy head cannons of Peter P. In the not-so-distant future though. 

Summary: Maybe Peter Parker, isn't as innocent as he seems. 

Warnings: Smut. Smut. and more Smut. Car-smut. Dark-ish Peter (Not really, but he’s not his usual wholesome self) 

Song: Star-gazing by The Neighborhood. I literally based this entire fiction on this one song. Even if you don’t read the fic, you should listen to it. 

Word Count: 5.5k

“If you don’t mind me asking,” She started, pausing a bit to give him time to look up at her, “ who brings a textbook to a frat party?”

His heart stopped for a moment when he realized who was speaking to him. But then he matched her grin shyly and replied, “It’s more of a conversation starter than anything.” 

“Would you say its been working well?”

“I did somehow manage to get someone as pretty as you to speak to me.” 

The smile that was already plastered on her face, grew wider along with her eyes and brows. “Wow Parker: Who knew you could be so bold after a few drinks?

“I’ve only had one, so the rest is all me.” He closed his book and readjusted his leg inviting her to sit. Then as if just realizing, he asked, “You know who I am?”

“Of course I know who you are. We went to Midtown together.” She said, getting comfortable on the couch. 

“Yeah I know. But we barely spoke to each other. Sometimes I wondered if you even knew I existed.”

“I always kept tabs on cuties like you. Especially you, actually.” She declared. 

“And you call me bold.” He muttered under his breath, a small blush creeping up.

“I’m always like this. Anyone who knows me, can tell you that. But anyone who knows you, would say the opposite. You were always so good.” 

“Good?”

“Yes! Good. Innocent. Nice. Whatever floats your boat.”

“And I remember you being, bossy, assertive, and intimidating.”

She threw her head back in laughter before stating,“You say that like its a bad thing.” Coming down from her fits of giggles she adds, “You noticed me, too? Never thought I was on your radar.”

“How could anyone not notice you.” He asked. “We had English together our freshman year. First day of class, you challenged Mr. Frechowsky, for inflicting his political views on the rest of the class. He got so red in the face, after yelling at you for three minutes straight, but everyone was more shocked at you for being unfazed.”

“I forgot abou-”

“Sophomore year, you “accidentally” tripped Amy Shuemacker,  after she made a rude comment about Ned’s weight. Junior year, you announced that you wanted to be not only the first female president, but the first who was black too. I remember telling myself you’d have my vote. Senior year, you almost had a mental breakdown when it looked like Michelle Obama was gonna run.” Peter finished, with not a hint that he was out of breath. 

“I-” She was more than taken aback. “I’m embarrassed that you remember all of that. Its been like four years since we graduated. Frankly any other person would have forgotten.”

“I think its impossible for anyone who’s met you, to forget the day they did.” He admitted to her. 

She just stared at him in awe for a moment. Mouth slightly agape from surprise. A shadow of a smile ever so present. 

Even though he was the one to say it, it was his face that turned a tinge pinker than before when he realized the weight behind his words. He swallowed thickly, averting his attention to the patterns that lined the carpet, fearing that he made her uncomfortable. In all honesty, he used to have a proper crush on the girl, rivaled by even Romeo’s adoration for Juliet.

This was the same girl he once described as ethereal. He once told Ned that fairies wove the strands of her hair, and butterflies still lived there, claiming that he saw them playing beneath her braids. The sun literally lived under her skin, and it was the secret as to why it would glow, and why her smile was so bright. He would swear to anyone that listened, that the harp was made with her voice in mind, and that it, her voice, played a better melody. He used to be lovestruck. Guess those feelings still lingered. 

If you asked him, two minutes ago had he gotten over it, his answer would’ve been yes. Would’ve been. 

His sudden fluster—which she found adorable by the way, broke her from her trance as she grinned and said “Don’t act bashful now!” playfully shoving his arm as she uttered the words. 

Quickly recovering from his earlier hiccup, he slowly returned her grin and tried to retaliate but before he could, “We have to go. Now.”

They looked up to see an irritated looking preppy girl impatiently scowling down at them. She couldn’t have been much older than 21, but no one told that to her clothes and aura. Her olive skin couldn’t hide the frown lines that had been assigned to her, nor the bags that would put a raccoon to shame. Besides the current circumstances that she would tell them in the next minute, Peter could tell on his own that the girl needed a date with sleep. 

“What’s the matter Li? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, aside from the fact that Angie locked herself out of the apartment again.” She said sarcastically, muttering this last part under her breath “I swear I’ve had it with that girl.”

“Ah I see. Well then we better get going.” The girl affirmed, standing from her seat, making Peter rise from his. “Peter it was so nice seeing you. I hate to leave, I would’ve enjoyed catching up a bit more.” She said, turning to grab her coat. 

“Well then we should catch up soon.”

She turned to nod her head, seemingly interested in his suggestion. “I’d love that. When did you have in mind?”

“How about now? if its a ride you’re looking for, I can drive you home.” Peter’s inner sixteen year old self, screamed at this opportunity. Time alone, with his four-year crush? He couldn’t not take advantage of the moment. 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s all the way on the other side of town.” She informed him. 

“But you’re not asking me to do it. I’m offering, because, ‘ya know; I haven’t seen you in a while and I’d like to catch up, too.” He said, second-guessing himself and praying that he didn’t come on too strong. “Ya know. Only if you want to.” He added just in case. 

Taking too much time debating whether or not she should say yes, the girl’s friend did it for her.  “Sounds great! I’ll see you at home.” Spinning on her heels,  and walking out of the door.

“Well.” The girl started, smiling at her old schoolmate. “I guess that settles it.”

“Shit!” He cursed, killing the engine completely, and slamming his head back on the headrest. After a couple minutes of trying to get it to start, the boy gave up like his car did.

It had been a full three hours since  Alisha left the party. The time was spent competing about who could find out more about the other. He learned that she still had a thirst for changing the world and community around her. She learned that the boy had been bitten by a radioactive spider and was now New York’s most friendly vigilante. She never knew that Peter could be so hilarious. 

They were stranded on some back road, miles away from civilization, with rain coming down on the roof of the car like they owed it money.

“Peter, what did you expect?” She began to question, giggling as she spoke. “This car is so old, Fred Flintstone has a newer model.”

“Hey!” He cried, “Don’t badmouth Karen. She just needs a little work.”

“You mean a lot of work. Karen is ancient.”

“She’s been good to me.”

“Should I call Triple A?” She asked, ignoring his dramatics. “The rain will probably let up by the time they get here.”

“I’ve got this.” He sighed, readying himself to leave the car. “Besides, triple A doesn’t know Karen like I do. They won’t be able to give her the love and patience she deserves” He explained, the car’s rickety door sounding as he disappeared into the rain. 

She heard that same distinct sound not ten seconds later, as he reappeared, soaking wet from the rain’s onslaught. His white t-shirt clung to his body, while beads of water raced down his skin. His messy locks, traded their dark brown hue for a jet black one, and his dirty converses shone a little brighter than they did before he left the car. 

“Maybe that wasn’t the best idea.” He admitted, the leather making a squelching noise as he glued himself back to his previous seat. 

“The offer for triple A still stands.”

“No. I’ll let this play out. But maybe I can call you an Uber.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you out here all alone. We’ll let this play out.”

“But this may take a while.”

“I’m the reason you’re out here in the first place. And I like your company, so i’ll stay.”

Peter knew he couldn’t argue with that one, so he let silence befall the two of them. It stayed like that for a moment. It wasn’t quite awkward, but it was definitely palpable. 

She thought to say something, he did the same, but neither could quite let their words come to life. It was unlike the girl he knew before, who said the first thing that came to mind. Unlike himself, who did the same, but in a less graceful way. 

Finally, after what felt like hours of deafening quiet, Peter begins with, “How long have you and Brad been a thing?” The question fresh on his mind, since her phone rang yet again, with his ugly mug lighting up the screen. It was the fourth time she ignored the notification. 

It was rare for Peter to hate a person. In fact he didn’t hate many at all. But there was something about Brad that always made his stomach clench. Didn’t help that he was sniffing around his girl. 

“Hmm.” She pondered, tapping her chin with her index finger. Acting as if she was carefully thinking about it.“For about for-never and a day” She finally answered.

“Oh I thought, that since—“ Peter stammered, growing embarrassed by his assumption, and the disdain that coated his words.

“Anyone would have, with him blowing my phone up.” She sighed. “But alas, nothing will ever come of us. No matter how much he wants it to. Wish he’d take a hint.”

Back to silence. But this time it didn’t consume Peter. It gave him a bit of hope, enough hope to ask her his next question. 

“Back at the party,” he started before pausing, which prompted her to question, yes, before he could properly collect his nerve to ask her what he wanted. 

“Back at the party, you mentioned you always kept tabs on me. Especially me. What did you mean by that?”

“I may have had a small crush on you.” She answered without missing a beat. This of course took him by surprise, but not for long. 

“Why did you never act on it?”

“Because I quickly realized you weren’t my type.” She said as if it was nothing in the world.

“Ouch. What did I do to make you realize that?” Peter asked. Though his tone was light-hearted, he tried not to let on that he was hurt. 

“Nothing.” She replied. “You were just yourself. Peter Parker, the innocent good boy who would never harm a fly.”

Peter thought to himself for a moment. He thought long and hard before he decided to bring up the word she had uttered more than once tonight. “There goes that word again: innocent. What makes you think I’m innocent?”

“Come on Parker. Ned told me you once donated a one hundred dollar bill you found lying on the sidewalk to the local homeless shelter. And that was after you couldn’t find its original owner. That’s got innocence written all over it.”

“Does that make me innocent or a good person?”

“They’re one and the same.”

“There is a big difference between the two.”

“I disagree. The two are definitely interchangeable. Good people are the ones who haven’t been corrupted yet.”

“So does that mean you aren’t a good person?”

“I think I’m a neutral person. Not exactly good, not exactly bad. Just walking the tightrope. I probably would have taken the money, and felt bad about it later.”

They both chuckled at her statement, letting it end that segment of the conversation. Though Peter was done fighting with her about her type’s moral compass, he wasn’t done with the subject all together.

“So,” He paused, and she braced herself, taking notice of how every time he did that, a question she was reluctant to answer followed. “what exactly is your type?”

An uncomfortable breathy laugh passed through her lips as she answered. “I didn’t exactly know it at the time, but I’m able to put it into words now.” She admitted, taking her time as she explained. 

“I guess ideally you were my type. Nice. Harmless. Smart. But I was also looking for someone who knew how to take control. I’m in control of everything in my life, so it feels good to meet a person who lets me relinquish that. Or in more crude terms, a person who has the ability to fuck my brains out.” She declared as she leered in his direction with a small smirk playing her lips. 

She was only teasing. But she could feel that the air had grown thick on the side of the car that Peter had resided in. For a split second, she could have sworn that she saw something snap in him. But as quickly as it appeared, it vanished, making her feel as though she had imagined the entire thing. 

But she knew that couldn’t have been right. Known for many things, her vivid imagination wasn’t one of them. His breath hitched. His shoulders tensed. She hadn’t imagined that. What he said next, after what felt like an hour of silence told her that she didn’t imagine anything at all. 

“Did teaching me, ever cross your mind?” He asked. His grip on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. She saw his Adam’s apple bob after he spoke, and his chestnut eyes focused on the rain that splattered against the windshield. 

“U-um I-,” She stammered, Peter catching her by surprise. She had to really think about his question. “I suppose it never did.”

“You still want me?” He asked her, turning his attention back on her. 

“Huh?”

“Am I still your type? Aside from the fact that I can’t take control?” 

She just swallows, before nodding.

Noting her surprise, but not relenting he says, “Then teach me.”

“What?” She questions, fearing she misheard him. 

“Teach me.” He repeated, only elaborating when she scrutinized his face. “Show me exactly how you want to be touched. Kissed. Fucked.”

The way he said the word, fuck, was so filthy. It almost made her lose the rest of her composure. Not like she had much left. He had already rendered her speechless, now he was ruining her panties.

No. She wouldn’t let it play out like this. She had a reputation to uphold.

She peered over her shoulder, then back to him trying to assess whether or not he was serious. When his face showed no sign of amusement, she swung her door open, to trade her passenger’s seat for the back one. 

The rain’s onslaught was still vicious, so her previously dry form was borderline drenched. July’s summer heat, did no favors in keeping her warm, and she had no idea if she was shivering from the rain or her nerves. “Are you gonna come keep me warm or what?” She challenged, trying to find her confidence again.  

It was only seconds before Peter joined her, but it was no question that his body was shaking with anticipation. He looked at her expectantly, surveying her every move. From the way her eyes flitted to the ground, to the way her hands busied themselves by rubbing at her thighs. She was nervous. 

It must have been a snowy day in hell.

“What should we do first?” She asked. 

“Does the instructor usually ask the pupil what lessons they should start with?”

“Kiss me?” She suggested, half-ignoring his comment. 

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” Peter remarked, amusement glinting in his eyes. 

Annoyance overtaking her tone now, she demands this time, “Kiss me.” 

“Say please.” He teased. 

“Damn it Peter, fucking kiss m—”

And then he glued his lips to hers. They were sweet and gentle, like him, but still managed to convey his longing. He hoped the kiss would capture all the times he imagined doing it when she would flash those pretty brown eyes his way. When she would speak in a way that put an angel’s timbre to shame. Even when she would fucking breathe, he imagined kissing her until his lips fell off. He hoped the kiss would make up for all of the ones he was dying to share with her over the years.

The pads of his fingers roamed over her silky smooth skin, starting at her cheeks, ending at her neckline. He tasted the flavor of her strawberry chapstick, the same one that made her lips feel and look as smooth as butter. When he inhaled and tasted the faint scent of minty watermelon on her breath, he decided he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to kiss her until he committed to memory every bump on her tongue. Then he would be satisfied. 

“Like this?” He whispered, pulling back to inhale the same air as her, almost turning feral at the sight of her swollen lips and blown pupils. “Or,” he started, leaning back in to go again, searching her eyes, “like this?”

Whereas kiss one was innocent and sweet, the way that Peter portrays himself, kiss two was the definition of what he could be…or maybe what he already was, she couldn’t tell. He was filthy with the way his tongue glided against hers. The hot wet muscle played hers like an instrument, before locking the two together. One of his hands planted itself on the nape of her neck, forcing her to feel every measure against her mouth. She couldn’t move if she wanted to, not that she wanted to. Just like him she wanted to relish the taste of him. 

With his nose pressed against her cheek, and hers against his, they kissed like they wanted to touch the other’s souls. They began breathing in the rest of the other’s air, like they wanted to swap lungs. Exploring the other’s bodies, like they would die if they didn’t study the exact texture of the other’s skin. 

It took everything in Peter to restrain himself. To keep his thumbs from traveling beneath her shirt. He nipped at his tongue to keep from nipping at her lips and skin. He tried shifting in his seat to distract himself from the shifting going on in his jeans. 

It certainly didn’t help the growing tent in his pants when the girl planted her thighs on either side of his, rocking and rolling her hips to alleviate some of the tension in her panties. 

She took over the kiss, setting the pace and overcoming the surprise from Peter earlier.

Her fingers, that were previously glued to his face, began fumbling with the hem of his shirt, peeling the wet material off and over his head. She marveled at his sculpted chest for a moment, before Peter followed suit, pulling her dampened top over her arms and flinging it over the seat. 

A throaty groan passed his lips when she resumed her measures against his hips. Grinding herself down on his hardening member. 

Her breathy whimpers intensified when his surprisingly warm hands traveled along her skin, caressing her soft flesh. She was getting more worked up the more Peter mimicked the movement of her hips, grinding upwards while simultaneously pinning her waist down. 

She tugged harshly on the patch of hair that lived on the back of his neck, eliciting one of the sexiest groans she had ever heard. His heavily lidded eyes that held the same fire as hers, both scared and excited her. 

As she leaned in closely, preparing her words carefully she ordered him to, “Kiss me here,” before planting her lips on his neck. Flattening her tongue to lick a stripe up the exposed skin, she began swirling the appendage before nipping, licking, and sucking until his skin had a reddish purple hue. 

She got lost in the feel of him, succumbing to the sound of his hisses and moans only to yelp a moment later, when Peter mimicked her earlier actions.

With a fistful of her hair, and her exposed neck jutting out towards his lips he licked a stripe against the skin, just as she did earlier, only his measures were steady and calculated, taking note of every flinch and hitch of her breath. He found her sweet spot in seconds, focusing all of his attention there. 

With her nails digging into his flesh, and her hips stuttering, Peter knew he had her where he wanted her. “Like that?” He rasped, pulling away to admire the strings of purple and blue that littered her skin. 

“Fuck yea Parker; you learn fast.” She gasped, attempting at a laugh, as she peeled her chest off of him.  She took a hand of his into hers, grasping two of his fingers as she bought them to her lips. 

Hollowing her cheeks as she sensually sucked and lubricated his digits, she bought his other hand down to her shorts, beckoning him to unbutton them. “Touch me here.” She murmured, eyes taking in the wide curious ones staring back at her. 

With the newly slick fingers, Peter did as she told him, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and finding her nub instantaneously. “Right here?” He enquired, when her breathing turned shaky. 

“Mmm, god yes!” She praised, as he worked his fingers over her. 

Setting a consistent pace, Peter lightly grazed her clit, every time he ran his fingers up and down her folds. “Am I doing this right?” He questioned, flicking and teasing her core. 

“Mhm” She mewled, “fuck y-your fingers feel so good” Her speech was now becoming slightly incoherent.

“Yeah?” He groaned, “What about my mouth?” He asked, just before unclasping her bra a little too effortlessly with one hand. Latching his lips against her perky chest, he massaged the other mound with his free hand.  

Words were lost on her, as she became a wanton mess. She couldn’t fathom how he could be so skillful with both hands. How a person could multitask the way that he did was indescribable. His hand on her clit didn’t let up, but neither did the one that tweaked and pulled on her nipple. Not to mention the hot tongue that darted and sucked meticulously at her other. She couldn’t stifle her cries if she tried. 

Riding his fingers, she pressed his head further into her chest,  becoming greedy with his touch, as she sprinted towards her orgasm. She thought that this feeling couldn’t get any better. 

Of course, Peter was full of nothing but surprises tonight, and needed to prove her wrong. He let two of his fingers slip inside of her, while a thumb replaced the ones that were glued to her clit. Rubbing circles against her sex, he pumped the two fingers furiously in and out of her hole. 

“Does that feel good, baby?”

But the girl didn’t answer, Her mouth hung open as if she wanted to, but the words were jumbled somewhere in her throat. Her face twisted into pleasure, and she couldn’t do anything but succumb to his measures against her body.

It wasn’t long before she felt her stomach spasming, the heat pooling to her core, her already sensitive flower growing even more sensitive, as she came into his palm. 

Her juices coated his digits, her walls fluttered around them, and her skin was now hot to the touch, as Peter forced her climax out of her. 

Tears flooded her eyes, as she took in as much air as she could. When had she stopped breathing? Maybe sometime during the earth-shattering orgasm her old classmate was giving her. 

Once the ringing in her ears subsided, and her lower region began to cool again, she thanked the boy and praised him as she said, “You did so well,” before planting hot wet kisses on his shoulder and neck.

She stopped when she felt his body shaking. Coming back up to eye him, she asked what he found so funny. 

Peter tried to hide the smirk that plastered his lips but he couldn’t hold his act any longer. “You just don’t get it do you?” He asks as he casually licks and sucks at his fingers, just as she did earlier, relishing in the taste of her essence. 

The confusion on her face and brain was evident. “Get wha—” He had her pinned on her back, before she could utter the last syllable.

The tight space was cramped, but the boy had more than enough room to stalk his prey. He hovered above her, ridding her of the rest of her clothes in one fell swoop, before delivering his monologue. 

“I don’t know what it is about girls like you, but I swear you drive me crazy.” He admitted, before removing his jeans in a quick motion. “You always assume that just because I’m a nice guy, I won’t be able to fuck your brains out.” He informed, before revealing a hidden condom and rolling it on before lining himself up at her entrance. “But I hope that if tonight proves anything to you,” He starts, eyes finally darting up to land on her horror-filled ones, “it will be that your mindset can land you in a whole heap of trouble.”

And with that, he grasps the door above her head, before sinking himself into her.

Groaning at the feel of her, Peter’s facade dropped completely. Her tight little cunt feels even better than he imagined, and he hopes that he feels better than she ever imagined. 

He starts slow, with the intent of her feeling every ridge of his cock, as it threatens to invade her stomach. Her soft tits bouncing with every thrust, send a jolt through his body every time her nipples graze his chest. The way his name falls off her sweet tongue, has him in shambles, as he picks up his pace, throwing slow and steady out of the window. 

Her cries are loud in his ear, as he ruts against her sex. He’s so thick, its hard for her to think straight. He can feel the indents of her nails as they dig into his lower back; she tries to press his ass closer to her, never wanting him to leave.

Maybe if it were any other guy fucking her, she would have felt the seat buckle digging into her back. Maybe she would have felt her sticky sweaty skin on the leather of his back seat. Maybe the awkward position her head was in would have spoiled her experience. But with Peter, she could only focus on the pleasure. 

His thrusts were relentless now. His hot breath was fanning the side of her cheeks. His previously damp hair, stuck to her neck, as he drove himself further into her skin. Nothing could distract him away from her in this moment.

Nothing but the faint glow of her phone, that is. It’s buzzing, and vibrations immediately catching his eye, as he held his head up. That same dangerous smirk that she saw earlier returning. 

“Look who’s calling, baby.” He purred, overcoming the stutter of his hips. When he held her phone up for her to see, her heart sank at the mischief behind his words. Brad. “Should we answer it?”

“No, Pete!” She cried. 

“Oh come on, that would be rude wouldn’t it?” He dared, before delivering a particularly hard thrust, that sent her mind into a haze. “We can stop so you can take this—”

“No! D-don’t stop” She begged, prying the phone from his fingers, and fumbling with the answer button. 

“Babe? Hello?” Brad’s irritating voice answered flooding, her phone’s speaker. But the girl didn’t answer immediately, because she was too busy trying to stifle her whimpers. 

“Hey Brad!” She finally choked out, sounding somewhat normal. How she managed to do it, she couldn’t say. 

“Wow! Finally. This is like my eighth time trying you. I almost can’t believe you answered. What are you up to?”

“Should you tell him what you’re up to, babe?” Peter devilishly whispered against her skin.

“Nothing!” She whined into the phone. 

“Whoa. Are you okay? You sound a little off?”

“You should tell him you sound like this because I’m making you feel so good.” Peter suggested, driving her body up and down the seats. “I bet he’d wish he were me right now.”

“I-I’m just a feeling a l-li-little sick is all.” She breathlessly stuttered.

“Should I come over?”

“Ah yes Peter!” She wailed, when the boy starts circling his fingers against her clit, while simultaneously grinding slowly but roughly into her. She’s no longer paying attention to the man on the other end. His curses don’t faze her, nor does Peter’s actions as he releases the phone from her grip. 

“Hey Brad. Remember me.” He casually asks, ignoring Brad’s threats. “Yeah no man, don’t worry about her: I’ll make sure she’s real good and taken care of.” He promises, before ending the call, and tossing the device into the passenger’s seat. “Think he finally got the hint?”

Peter then takes the girl’s hips into his hands, lifting her inches off the seat, before pulling her body onto his dick at an ungodly speed.

Crying. She’s literally crying, with tears streaming down her face. Her voice is becoming hoarse with moans. She had never experienced such intense sex in her life. 

Peter brings the hand that was previously plastered on the glass down to the girl’s face. “would this be the definition of fucking your brains out, baby?” He grunts, in reference to the girl’s constant repetition of his name. It’s the only word she can remember, as he fucks her into the chair. 

His movements shook the car. The heat that their bodies radiated, fogging up the glass. The scent of their sex now embedded in the fabric of his seats. The boy was completely untamed. 

Her screams were one among the things that set him off. The way her body writhed against his was another. The stutter in her speech another. But the unbridled lust that her eyes held, was the literal icing on the cake. 

Thank fuck she came before him. Her tight little hole constricting and clenching his dick. And when he started slipping in and out, her eyes glued shut, and her chest started to rise and fall, he knew that she had came. 

A sweaty fucked out mess before him, she needed Peter to finish her off before she was satisfied. “Drown me in your cum” She begged, and it was like he knew exactly what she wanted. 

Unsheathing himself from her, he ridded himself of the condom, and started tugging violently at his cock. Fucking his hand, not unlike the way he fucked her earlier, he spurted his milky white seed all over her supple brown canvas, a husky groan roaring from his chest as he threw his head back in pleasure. His seed extinguished the heat that resided in her skin, and she closed her eyes shut, letting her head fall back down on the seat. 

The image of his white paint, all over her stomach, chest, and tits, bleeding into his memory, as he came back down from his high. 

Once back down to earth, reality began to sink back in. Immediately recomposing himself, Peter blurted, “Fuck are you okay? Was I too rough?”

His sudden outburst almost made her jump out of her skin, but she quickly recovered. “Oh god no Parker! I loved every minute of that.” She lazily smiled reassuringly.  “Do you always fuck like that?”

Peter returned the smirk, blushing before saying, “I’ve always wanted to fuck you like that.” 

After planting a final kiss on her lips, he reached into the center console, to scavenge a few wet wipes, cleaning her skin before discarding them. 

Moments later, they reunited with their lost articles of clothes, pulling the fabrics over their limbs before crawling back into the front seat.

When Peter put his seatbelt back on, and cranked the car up with no effort, he felt the heat of the girl’s eyes on his skin. 

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded by her glare. 

“Was there ever anything wrong with the car?”

And then as if just realizing Peter mouthes oh, before telling her simply “No.” Adding on that he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her. 

“Well how the fuck did you know I wasn’t gonna just take your offer for an Uber?”  She asked, more impressed than pissed.

“Because you’re a neutral person, and a neutral person would feel too bad about doing that.”

“There’s a lot of things I still have to learn about you Parker.” She admits, sinking down into her seat. Heat rising to her cheeks, as a new crush began to develop. 

“Don’t worry. I’m willing to teach you.” 

 A/N: So like...don’t be afraid to tell me what you think. I swear I dont bite...unless you're into that. also this was edited it, but probably not well, so tell me if you see an error. 

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟’𝕥❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ hannah gets two different points of view regarding her dilemma: within the group and out of the group

⇢ set in late march 2018

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ hints at self-esteem issues

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. feedback is highly appreciated!

Hannah took a deep breath as she entered the dark practice room. It had become a habit to leave only one of the corner lights on so it wouldn’t look like there was anyone in there. This way, no one came in before she left in the morning.

She sighed. Having to decline Donghyuck’s offer of a lunch date despite their schedule was upsetting mostly because she knew it made him sad. She tossed her bag to the side and settled next to the door.

“Rough day?”

The unfamiliar voice caught her attention. She looked up and saw someone near the mirrors. She nodded. “Yeah, a little.”

“Sorry, you might not know me,” he walked towards her and hestured to the floor in front of her asking if he could sit, which she obliged, “but we’ve been talking to each other on katalk because of Jaemin.”

Her eyes lit up with realization. “Yangyang!”

“That’s me.”

“Sorry you had to see me all exhausted for the first time we meet in person.” A guilty smile made its way up to her face.

He shook his head at her statement. “No, it’s fine. I get it. Not to mention you’re being overworked, aren’t you? With being in all the promotions?”

“You have no idea.”

A short silence fell between the two, but it wasn’t awkward. It was quite comforting, actually. The last few days basically had her not talking to people comfortably, so it was nice to just sit and not be cautious about throwing off the other members’ dynamics or making them uncomfortable.

“If I’m not overstepping,” the trainee began while scratching the back of his neck, “have you been okay? I’ve seen the articles about you recently, and the other trainees have been talking about how you spend so much time in practice rooms even if you have a full schedule.”

She smiled at him. “Let’s just say I really need to catch up with the 127 members in terms of skill.”

He gave her a confused look at her statement. “You know, you’re just as skilled as them. The higher ups wouldn’t have added you if you weren’t.”

“They would for publicity.”

“Fine, you have a point.” His slightly disappointed grumble made her laugh. “With you, though, it’s because of your talent. They saw your potential for more mature concepts. Not to mention you’re pretty popular among the trainees for being a powerful vocalist and rapper despite having a main dancer position.”

Admittedly, hearing those words were assuring. She scanned his face for a bit as if looking for any signs of lies, yet she found none. A small smile made its way onto her face before disappearing upon remembering her being the cause of her members’ discomfort.

“It’s a little more than that, but thanks.”

Just then, Yangyang’s phone lit up with a notification. The boy checked it quick before looking at Hannah apologetically.

“Well, I’m going to have to leave you here,” he told her. “The others are looking for me.”

“Go on and get some sleep.”

He nodded and stood up before looking at her again. “Just so you know, the other NCT members love having you around. I hear them talk about you fondly a lot around the company. If something’s wrong, I’m sure they’d be willing to help.”

Hannah watched while Yangyang left the room. His words took up her mind. The other members talked about her? They liked having her around? What happened to them having to change the way they act because she was there?

In all honesty, she’s been pretty sad about not really hanging out with the other members the whole week. She felt bad everytime she turned a member down when they offered for her to join them. As introverted as she was, all the noisy meals she’d be part of, her hanging out in the 127 dorms, just everything, she missed it.

She shook her head with a chuckle before speaking out loud. “NCT, look what you’ve done to me. You’ve made me miss human interaction.”

She stood up and dusted herself off. Maybe a few runs of different choreographies would help her clear her mind. After all, it would be productive. Perfect the choreography while avoiding thoughts, right? It’s not like she hasn’t done it before. She’d do it again.

Except, she couldn’t.

The doors to the practice room burst open once again, except this time it was none other than her twin flame followed by her two best friends. She groaned when she saw the determined look on Donghyuck’s face, already knowing he would not leave her until he gets what he wants. And she her suspicions.

“Lee Haeeun,” Donghyuck started packing her things as he scolded her, “You are coming with me to the 127 dorms where we are going to have a big dinner then sleeping in. It’s a practice day tomorrow, anyway. We’re calling in sick.”

Her suspicions were correct.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” The look she received from Jaemin while silently asking for help was one she knew all too well. Jeno slipped off to the side to look for her jacket.

“Listen to him, Hannah,” Jaemin approached her, holding her face in his hands. The way she didn’t push him away made him worry. She usually hates when people do stuff like this to her. “We know you’ve been using my mix of coffee to stay awake. We know you haven’t been going back to the dorms at all. From the looks of it, you’re spending all your time practicing. What did I tell you about overworking yourself?”

“Not to,” she mumbled while looking down.

She felt her coat being draped around her shoulders. Jeno helped her slip her arms through the sleeve before throwing an arm around her. He gave Jaemin a quick glance, leaving the latter to nod before approaching Donghyuck. That left the two other 00s just out of ear’s reach if they spoke lowly.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she rolled her eyes while lightly pushing Jeno’s chin to make him face the opposite direction. “I had my reasons.”

He chuckled just the slightest bit. “I know. It would help, though, if you tell us your reasons. Haechan’s been worried sick, and I’m pretty sure Jaemin’s close to having you on house arrest after finding out you haven’t been in your dorm for a while.”

She bit her lip, pondering on what to do. Was it worth it to tell them that she felt out of place in the group after two years of promoting with them? Or would they think it’s stupid? Maybe they’d agree that she wasn’t enough to be grouped with them. What if they judged her for all this and thought she was annoying or dramatic? All these thoughts were eating away at her mind, making her completely unaware of the fact that her nails were digging into the palms of her hands. Her actions went completely unnoticed by her until she felt Jeno lightly pry her hands open and press his handkerchief to one of her hands while he held the other.

“It’s fine,” he reminded her as their two friends approached them. “It’s just me, Hyuck, and Nana.”

“We’d never judge you no matter what, Haeeunie.”

Donghyuck led her over to the couch and sat her down, Jeno crouching right by them and Jaemin sitting behind Hannah to begin braiding her hair. Something he liked to do to make her feel relaxed.

Was she really going to tell these three what was going on? She could just say that she felt like she needed the extra practice. That would get her scolded, though. She could say she’s been sleeping over at Yoonmi’s. Then again, Mark could easily call the younger girl and ask if it’s true. Besides, the internationally popular 01 liner had a lot on her plate already. She could say that she’s been hanging out with Yangyang more. One look at Donghyuck made her think twice. Either he’d immediately tell she was lying because he’d know when she made new friends in real life, or he’d get overprotective and end up leading to another katalk incident type rant.

She took a deep breath. Maybe the truth would be the best?

“I guess I just thought I needed to give you guys a little space.”

Her statement was met with confused looks from the three boys. Why would she need to give the rest of the members space? If anything, the members needed to give her space considering how much coddling she was receiving, especially since she wasn’t used to it and found it uncomfortable.

“Nothing bad, I promise,” she said as she shook her hands at them, “I was just thinking. I have to do a lot to catch up with the 127 members and the U members as well. Not to mention I need to pick up my skill since you guys and the rest of the dreamies are becoming better dancers than I am. I have to be up to par with your level, you know?”

“And who told you this?” Donghyuck’s eyes darkened upon hearing her indirectly put herself down. “Who told you that you weren’t up to par with us?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve read the articles,” Jaemin cooed at her as he finished braiding her hair. He rested his hands on her shoulders and pressed a light kiss to the top of her head.

Jeno, on the other hand, squinted his eyes at her. “You did. You’re overthinking again, Hannah.”

“No, I’m not.” The way her fist clenched tighter around the boy’s handkerchief did not go unnoticed.

“Yes, you are,” Jeno told her. “First things first, you’ve been training for longer than a lot of the hyungs in the company. You even did gymnastics, cheerleading, and some dancing before getting here. Second, you’re a way better dancer than us. You understand your body and the way it moves really well. I don’t know about the hyungs, but we go to you for help with our dance, remember?”

“That’s my Haeeunie,” Donghyuck lightly patted her cheek. “Top notch dancer, can’t be beat. This is why you shouldn’t listen to these airheads if they say you’re not up to par with us.”

A small smile made its way to her face. “Thanks, guys.”

“No,” Jeno inserted, “there’s more. You wouldn’t be avoiding the hyungs in the waiting room and in schedules just because you think you’re not up to par with them. What else is going on?”

She looked at them one by one, Jeno’s knowing look and Jaemin’s worried look burning into her skin. She glanced at Donghyuck and saw the guilt in his eyes.

“You already know, don’t you? I guess I feel out of place. The 127 oppas have been together for so long and have their own dynamics, and suddenly I’m there making them act different. I don’t wanna impose on anything. Not to mention, being in a group with 18 men as a girl can be pretty overwhelming. I’m the odd one out, it’s pretty obvious.”

“No, you aren’t. I was gone for a year. If anything, I’m the odd one out. I missed out on so many things. But I’m not. You’re not, either.”

The hands on her shoulders moved to encircle her waist, pulling her to Jaemin’s chest as he spoke to her. Her hair was getting the slightest bit messed up from him nuzzling it with his cheek. The two boys in front of her, however, exchanged glances.

Jeno looked at her seriously. “Have you talked to Yoonmi about this? She’d be the one to understand that feeling the most, wouldn’t she?”

“She has her own problems right now. I don’t wanna stress the poor kid out even more.”

“You’re not imposing on anything, you know?” Donghyuck asked her. This brought all her attention towards him. “The hyungs love having you around, and they want to hangout with you. They’re just getting used to it since they’re not as used to you as we are. But they really want you to be comfortable with them.”

“Yuta hyung’s upset that you don’t do Japanese lessons with him anymore,” Jaemin added. This made her feel guiltier.

So they didn’t see her as an outcast? They wanted her around? Now, she’s just been selfish by drawing back and avoiding them to protect her own feelings without even considering the fact that she could be upsetting the others.

“Oh.”

That was all that could come out of her mouth.

“Hey,” Jeno began while resting a comforting hand on her knee, “it’s inevitable for some things to change, alright? That doesn’t mean you’re the odd one out. The hyungs just aren’t sure how to treat you, especially after Taeyong hyung set down a few rules. They love you, though, and they want to be close with you.”

“And if the netizens say I’m trying too hard by being close to the others and ruining their dynamics?”

Jeno scoffed at that. “Let them. They don’t know us, and they don’t know you. They don’t know what goes on in the group. Everyone has something bad to say about everything. About Haechan, Jaemin, me, everyone. Even Jisung, and he’s just a kid. What they think doesn’t matter though, as long as we know what really does, right? Our group’s friendship.”

As much as she wanted to disagree with Jeno and say that they needed to take the public’s thoughts into account as idols, she knew he was right. As people, they had to remember to not think too much about what strangers think. It would be hard, but she knew she had to try.

“Right,” she finally agreed after a moment of silence. The smile on Jeno’s face grew, and Jaemin’s hands tightened around her.

“We are having a fun lunch with the hyungs tomorrow,” Donghyuck hopped up out of his seat and pulled her with him, “then having a dreamie dinner for the first time in a while. For now, though, you’re coming home with me to my dorm, not yours.”

“No more avoiding or over-practicing, alright, Hannah?” Jaemin gently brushed some of the stray strands of her hair out of her face then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek after she nodded. She scrunched her face up in disgust, making them laugh. Donghyuck was leading her out the door, Jaemin hot on their tail until she realized she left her stuff. With an abrupt halt, she turned to grab her bag but was met with Jeno’s cheeky smile.

“I already got your stuff, you goldfish,” he laughed at her. “Looks like the lack of sleep has been affecting your memory.”

“Oh, shut up, Jen.”

[existentialburden]

all of the oc asks? (i’m on mobile so asks are weird)

oh!!! okay okay uh which oc oh no uhhhhhh Enny again!

how does your OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? how do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children, or their lover(s)?

Enny is a sliding scale. with the mains, she’s spiteful, cold, and just flat out mean, carefully choosing her words before speaking so everything comes out the way she wants it to. with alt Kodi, she lets any exhaustion show and she’s more relaxed, talking about her interests more and casually teasing him. with Echo, she’s vulnerable and, while still restraining her emotions, tries to at least express things through a more emotional lens- and she’s WAY more honest with him than a lot of people. with [REDACTED], she’s more playfully snarky, both teasing and calculating during their games and just generally teasing outside. she’s also extremely soft and relaxed around him, watchful but not really wary. with strangers, she’s tense and her voice actually has more inflection than most times because she’s using more intense tones for their benefit- usually she’s more deadpan (when her voice does get a tone it stands out), but that tends to drive people off. she doesn’t trust strangers so she just acts to blend in. in emotionally-charged scenarios she’s either loud or very quiet depending on the emotion- if other people are angry she goes quiet, if SHE’S angry she gets loud, when she’s happy there’s not a lot of volume change but she taps her fingers or sort of moves in place, and when she’s worried or upset she fiddles with things in her hands or digs her nails into her arms. that’s more body language than personality but!! I like those details!! make me happy.

does your OC prefer to take the lead or follow orders? with everyone or just with certain people? is there a reason for this?

Enny prefers to be in control, taking the lead. she had Zero Control when she was younger and in order to make sure that never happens again tends to force her way into positions of power. can’t be hurt if you’re the one at the top. once she’s comfortable around a group this fades but she always at least likes a say in everything.

how easily is your OC embarrassed? what subjects make them flush and why? what event has made your OC the most embarrassed they’ve ever been?

she’s not embarrassed by a lot. being made fun of gets no embarrassment, getting caught in a ramble isn’t as embarrassing as it is frustrating that she lost track of how long she was talking..... but oh boy the topic of love. she shows love and care through actions so hearing someone she cares about just bluntly say “I love you”? fucking WILD how could they just SAY THAT like it’s a FACT that’s not how this works why do they love her what the fuck. that’ll get her flustered. feelings and shit. she’s also highly embarrassed about her creepypasta self-insert fanfiction from years ago but that will never see the light of day again so it’s no big.

does your OC have any triggers? why do these things trigger them? what are they like when triggered and how do they calm down after?

slamming doors, people yelling (specifically adult men), and her old name, but only when it’s used in reference to her- seeing people talking about main Aila isn’t an issue, but being called Aila herself makes her a little panicky. in a certain au, the distinct Mind player teal is a minor trigger as well. the first three are because of her father’s abuse, and the last one is because of an incident with a Mind player that uh. didn’t go great. slamming doors make her freeze up and she stops breathing entirely until she can calm down, people yelling makes her close to tears, frozen, and again not breathing, as well as leaving her unable to speak until a bit after she’s calmed down. her old name also makes her freeze up for a moment. enclosed spaces help her calm down because they feel like a safe zone since she can see what’s coming and she used to hide in her closet. select trusted people also help her calm down, like alt Kodi, Echo, and [REDACTED], but alt Kodi helps the most by just being there since she associates him with safety, too. Echo does NOT apply to the Mind player teal and he’d just make things worse for that specific one because of the situation.

are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? any reason behind this?

...most? Enny DESPISES feeling afraid and has a real rough time calming down when startled, and she hates feeling like she’s helpless. she doesn’t understand love for a while, too, and affection with her is weird and she can’t deal with it. she also hates feeling jealous or envious mostly because it’s a reminder that other people got to have things she didn’t. she doesn’t understand love because she’s repressed as fuck and she can’t deal with feeling any sort of affection because she’s never really gotten to express it or felt like she got it back from other people.

does your OC have any skills that people wouldn’t expect them to have? do they have a hobby or pastime that others would consider strange or weird? how did they learn this particular skill or pick up this hobby?

!!! I mean, it’s weird for Enny, but she can paint! she learned how to paint from Cece before the ship got built and it was her first true “downtime” hobby that she stuck with. she can also carry a tune surprisingly well! what’s more surprising is that she DOESN’T know how to play chess.

how well does your OC take care of themself? do they tend to put others before their own well-being and if so how often? what is their favorite way to pamper themself?

she.... is not good at taking care of herself. she doesn’t exactly put other people before herself? she’s just not good at self-care. the ship got her a proper meal schedule, and sure, she brushes her hair, and those are two points in her favor and both things she has up on me! but her sleep schedule’s fucky because of nightmares, she doesn’t always actually take time to relax, she doesn’t think positively of herself, she doesn’t do things for the sake of enjoying herself, and she slips back into Consumption habits more often than most people on the ship, if not all of them. her self-care is occasionally going to stay in alt Kodi’s room or the other way around to swap snack stashes and vent and just hang out. it’s calming for her. sibling bonding time.

what are some of your OC’s favorites? favorite food, color, season, stuff like that! give some general simple facts that tend to get overlooked!

Enny loves dark chocolate, black licorice, autumn, rainy days, dark blue-ish grey, and bubblegum. she likes cola sodas and small spaces, and prefers pens that click over pens that have caps. she also writes in pen rather than pencil, and she was left-handed before she taught herself to be ambidextrous! she prefers enclosed spaces over open areas because she can’t keep an eye on every direction in an open area. she also prefers audiobooks over reading words and loves mysteries, and likes thunderstorms :).

does your OC like to sleep alone or do they enjoy sharing their bed? have they been to any sleepovers? have they ever been camping? what did they think of the experiences if so?

she gets real fond of sharing her bed, exclusively with people she really trusts. [REDACTED] has shared-bed privileges. she’s never been to an actual sleepover and she’s never been camping! she has stayed at alt Kodi’s before, without any of the sleepover activities, and that was always nice.

when your OC says “I had a bad day” what does that tend to mean? is it really as bad as they’re saying or are they being a bit dramatic?

if she says “I had a bad day” she had a BAD DAY. she does like to be dramatic sometimes, but when talking about her day it’s exactly as bad as she claims it is. a bad day is “I got attacked by something/someone and feared for my life and stayed shaken all day” or “I had nightmares again last night and couldn’t calm down so I spent the entire day trying to hide away and then someone had to come calm me down and they saw me panicking and I Don’t Like That” or “a Mind player impersonated my therapist and took some of my memories and called me a horrible person just like my father and said I could never be redeemed”.

is your OC a good liar? how easy is it for them to tell lies? what is the biggest lie they’ve ever told and did they ever get found out? on the other hand, what is the biggest lie someone has told your OC and did they believe them?

she’s an excellent liar when she wants to be. lies are easy to tell and easier to explain for her. the biggest lie was probably during the Main Timeline Incident when she tried to convince Hope that the Time players were acting fucky and needed to be taken down- that one went over pretty neutrally because while Hope didn’t help her, she also didn’t go tell everyone because she wasn’t sure if that was the truth or not. if not that one, her accidental lie claiming she was in love with Kell because she just straight-up Did Not Know that wasn’t love. or the lie to herself that she had Absolutely Zero Attraction To Girls. repression’s a hell of a drug. the biggest lie she’s been told would probably be the aforementioned Mind player pretending to be Echo. that one was SO FUCKED and she fell for it. or, again, her convincing herself she didn’t like girls at all nuh-uh no way.

how religious is your OC? do they pray to any god(s) or do they not believe in that kind of stuff? what is their view of religion in general? where do they believe people go when they die? if your OC is not religious why not and what do they believe in otherwise?

she’s not religious at all. she’s neutral on religion and has a number of death theories- one is just straight-up SBURB dreambubbles because SBURB’s real so why not. another is you join the ranks of the horrorterrors when you die. in the same au as before she became an Actual God and dead players did in fact start showing up at her door so uh. that. that’s what happens. she guesses.

what is something from your OC’s past they’re the most ashamed of and why? what is something they’re really proud of? and lastly what is something in their past that could make them shake with dread?

she’s ashamed of how she used to treat Kell and alt Hurlii, and also kind of ashamed about... being abused? she knows she’s not the one who should be ashamed about that one but. :/. she’s also ashamed of jumping straight to “put main Kori out of commission” with the Main Timeline Incident. she’s proud that she’s made it as far as she has and just surviving, and also proud that she’s been able to open up to Echo and get therapy for her trauma. I think we all know what could make her tremble at this point though.

what does your OC do on their days off from working, school or whatever else it is they may do? do they enjoy relaxing, shopping, hanging out with friends? what is a normal day like for them?

she used to hang out with alt Kodi whenever she could, but on the ship, she goes and hangs out with [REDACTED], distracts herself with busywork, and spends time with her crewmates. she’s trying to be more social.

what was your OC like as a baby? what were they like as a child? a teenager? an adult? how do you think they’ll develop ten years into their future? twenty years? will they live to old age?

she baby. as a kid she was pretty quiet- one of those “pleasure to have in class” sorta kids who did their work and kept their mouth shut. she didn’t have a lot of friends. she got snarkier as she aged and became sort of a bully; she was still quiet, but the quiet angry type. as an adult she mellows tf out after getting therapy and still works on y’know, being a person, but definitely starts accepting herself a lot more and starts being The Trusted Adult. she’s going to provide a safe area for kids and accidentally adopt them along the way babey. she definitely grows to old age as a god tier :).

does your OC have any bad habits? does your OC have any addictions like smoking or drinking? how did they fall into these habits and why?

if digging her nails into her arms counts, that’s a habit. she also relapses into Consumption more than the others- frantic note-taking and knowledge absorption to an extreme. she doesn’t really know how the arm thing got started, but something about the sharpness of digging her nails in was supposed to ground her or something, and now she doesn’t even notice that she’s doing it. so it doesn’t work anymore and just leaves marks sometimes :(.

what does your OC think is their best trait? what is actually their best trait? what about their flaws? are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect?

Enny thinks her best trait is her problem-solving ability, but I think her best trait is her resilience. both are very good, though! she has plenty of flaws and she doesn’t like to bring a lot of them up, but she admits them more than she thinks she does. she’s VERY aware of them though. she thinks she’s selfish, aggressive, deceptive, and generally unpleasant to be around. she thinks she’s way worse than she is tbh.

What is your OC like in bed- 

sleepy. that’s it. Enny does NOT fuck.

what’s a sentence that would make your OC’s day better? one that would make them laugh? one that would make their day worse? why? what words would you have to say to them to completely ruin their day?

depends who’s saying it! a simple invitation to hang out from some people would improve her day, but from others it would make things far worse. generally, a compliment doesn’t hurt, or an “I like being around you” or something. she tends to laugh at things that are light jabs at people and sometimes sudden tone shifts. most mentions of her past would make her day worse, and any mention of her dad is a no-go. if you want to ruin her day entirely, compare her to her father.

how much effort does your OC put into their looks? do they care much about how they’re dressed or what their hair looks like or are they not bothered? could they be considered a snob or a slob?

she puts probably an average amount of effort into her looks. depends on the day and what’s going on and how she feels, but it’s generally consistent. she keeps her hair neat, makes her outfit match, enjoys having the option of makeup with no one to say whether she should or shouldn’t wear it, and just goes about her day. but she doesn’t spend too much time on it. I’d say she’s somewhere in the middle. more snobby than me, but I’m a massive slob :P

what additions would your OC make to their body if they could? let’s say, if they don’t have a tail would they want one? wings? horns? do they wish they could shapeshift?

!!! I’ve gone over this in a roleplay before! she honestly doesn’t know what she wants because she’s never thought about it before, but if she happened to suddenly and mysteriously gain shapeshifting she’d spend a lot of time just trying to find anything that felt right without being her original form. eventually she’d settle back into her og form with minor changes, maybe dye her hair instantly or something. definitely dye her hair. she’d totally fuck around with a monster form too. and I mean, who would say no to shapeshifting? she would like having the option to change everything at the drop of a hat. to not be herself, and then be herself again, and then maybe try out a snake tail and have fun with that, and then-

what inspired you to make this OC? how long have you had them? how have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them?

originally she was just for a fun “opposites” AU, and I’ve had her for about... 2 years? 2 years. what really made me latch onto her was a suggestion from a friend :). she’s gone from a one-off character who was primarily bitter to my favorite good good child who is still SO BITTER but wants to do good things. plus I like her more than Deux now and that was NOT the case back then.

what traits of your own do you see in this OC? are they a little bit self-inserty? don’t be shy, we all put parts of ourselves into the creations we love!

we both get panicky at slammed doors and at people yelling, along with feeling vulnerable when we can’t keep an eye out in every angle. we’re also both ace. a lot of her interests are the same as mine, and her finger-tapping, nail-digging, and pen-clicking are all from me. we also both have to think about our facial expressions, though they come a bit more naturally to me than to her. we’re both real fond of [REDACTED], we both like monsters, and we both have too many thoughts at once. her general demeanor isn’t really me, though. she mostly took all my little details. oh shit we both wear glasses too :P and we both changed our names.

what is your personal opinion of this OC? do you love them or are they your trash child? are they your baby?

I love her so much. you don’t understand how much I love her. she’s absolutely my favorite child!!!

are you writing anything with this OC or planning on writing anything for them? do you RP with them or are they just for fun to mess around with?

I both write stuff with her and RP as her! she’s my faaaavorite. I write about her in AUs (horrorterror Enny, monster AU, superhero AU, etc.) and in canon, and I’m hoping to write more once I have more time on my hands! she’s also my D&D character in a current campaign. and I rp her on her character blog @eloquentbarrister :P

how important is this OC to you? are they a character that’s helped you through some pretty tough times or could you scrap them without feeling a thing?

she’s, uh... she’s real important. I vent through her a lot and thinking about her calms me down.

do you enjoy working on your OC or are they a bit of a chore? we all have that one character who is hard to develop!

every day I think to myself “hm, what does this action say about Enny?”, so when it comes to her I love working on her! I could write essays about her! her goals are vague in certain aus which is the only bad part but so are mine, really.

ramble a bit about this character! 

that’s all I’ve been doing this whole time :P but!! she’s so good in every AU. learning how to be vulnerable and talk to people. learning how to be comfortable with herself. giving a huge middle finger to her past, at first trying to run from it and anything she did back then, and then going “yeah, that was a thing that happened, and it was fucked up, but I’ve come a long way”. she’s so good. she’s SO GOOD. monster AU Enny is fun too bcause the plot goes from “various monster kids relentlessly interact with the changeling kid until she considers them friends and the changeling learns to trust robot dad, learning how to play an instrument along the way” to “changeling becomes best friends with a god, does some drugs in the woods, and then watches the apocalypse go down with a big ol smile”. D&D Enny is very good because she’s a halfling warlock with a fun affectionate relationship with her patron and won’t stop adopting children despite barely being an adult. she wants to kill the gods and it’s very fun and cool tbh. also HORRORTERROR ENNY......... KILLS ME.......... ughhhh I’d love to ramble about her but I’m also WRITING her and wanna share that writing y’feel? just. aaaaaaaaa. Enny “Enlightener” Delmirain’t!!!!!

[mockwrites]

⚡ for a muggle au (cassiel x abaddon)

year one.They look a strange bunch, she’s sure — just a small bunch of children and a single father, so she supposes that’s pretty eye-catching, but it’s also the first day of Hogwarts, so she can’t be bothered to care too much about the looks they’re getting. Lucien ruffles his hand through her hair, smiling in that enigmatic way of his, a little worried, a lot sad, and she gets kisses from him and all her other siblings before she boards the train.

It’s hard, finding a place to sit on the train, because children are cruel, because she doesn’t have a mom, because her family has ties to dark magic, because, because, because. She holds her head up high even when they snicker about how she’s named after a demon.

She finds an empty carriage, and tries her best not to cry.

Someone finds their way into it, and they tilt their head at her, curiously silent.

Abaddon snarls at them, because of course she does. “And what the hell do you want? Come to see a death-eater for yourself? I’ll have you know admission is ten galleons at the door, so if you want to keep staring, you better pay up,” she says viciously, like she has any modicum of control, like her cheeks aren’t burning high with shame.

They raise an eyebrow at her and take a seat next to her. “Can’t I just be here for a place to sit?”

She scoffs a laugh. “Sure,” she grins, snapping her teeth together.

Sure enough, they sit down and act like she’s not there at all.

It makes her restless — sure, it sucks when everyone hates her, but she’s not used to no reaction at all. “Hey. Hey,” she emphasizes, pouting.

“What?”

“Are you just going to sit there?”

“Yes.”

“Not even going to try to talk or something?”

“I’m sure you talk enough for both of us.”

“Well,” she says, mulling it over. “That’s fair. Can I at least get a name to go off of?”

They regard her carefully. “Cassiel,” comes the eventual answer.

She grins. “We’re going to be great friends, Cassie. I know it.”

“It’s Cassiel.”

“I know. But Cassie is so much more fun to say. Cassiel is too serious.”

There’s a long suffering sigh.

She keeps grinning, resolves to do everything in her power to keep them.

—

The sorting hat barely grazes her head before it yells out Slytherin, and no one’s surprised. Her robes flash velvet green, and her tie bears silver streaks through the luxurious emerald.

Cassiel gets sorted into Gryffindor, rich reds and golds adorning their robes, and she waves from her seat at the Slytherin table; this makes it even better.

Conflict is so much more fun.

year two.Hogwarts is funny in the way that they purposefully foster vicious house rivalries and proceed to have paired classes. Cassiel has to put up with her in potions, care for magical creatures, and transfiguration.

She’s really quite good at potions — but gets written up nearly every class for “too much flair” and “Abaddon don’t toss your silver knife like that”. Transfiguration is all about pretending you’re something when you’re not, and by any stretch of the imagination, fits her very well.

She’s terrible with magical creatures, though; they all hate her.

In stark contrast, they love Cassiel — something something calming presence, something something respect. Whatever.

She figures 3 classes together isn’t enough, especially because Cassiel hangs around Shibah more often than not… so she decides to start poaching their friends.

Adele is easy to befriend, and Abaddon likes to think that she oft gives the girl a much needed walk on the wild side.

Grace is next, and they get along great because everyone loves Grace, and Abaddon loves the spotlight. (Isaiah just seems like a kind of package deal thing, but he’s fun too. She coaxes him into tickling the giant squid for the hell of it, and he gets a row of tentacle mark bruises. She laughs for a week over that, but expresses remorse to get back into Grace’s… well, good graces.)

The Hufflepuffs are easy to hang around.

Unsurprisingly, Cassiel’s Gryffindor friends don’t like her much.

Either way, they start hanging out more because Abaddon went ahead and inserted herself into their friend group.

She supposes this is the last time Cassiel knows true peace.

year three.“Cassie,” she calls after messing up a spell, snickering. “Cassiel. Cassiel. Look.”

“What?”

“Darling, you’re so hot, I’m burning up,” she grins, brandishing her flaming sleeve like a trophy, nearly burning her cheek.

“Wh- Abaddon, why are you literally on fire?” Cassiel asks rhetorically, quickly summoning up some water and putting it out.

“Well,” she sighs happily, examining her smoking sleeve. “I think I’m a little burned. Kiss it better?”

Cassiel glares at her.

“God, it’s just a joke. You Gryffindors really need to touch up on your humor-“

Cassiel reels her in by her tie and kisses her solidly, pulling back with a self-satisfied “there”, and walks off before Abaddon can get her brain functioning again.

—

For the most part, nothing changes. Abaddon’s still an outrageous flirt, talking herself into and out of sticky situations in equal measure… and Cassiel endures.

But something must’ve changed, because they get looks when she maybe says things that are deemed a little too much and Cassiel just purses their lips in amusement and annoyance.

Grace notices something different, and seems to take it upon herself to set them up as much as humanly possible, because Abaddon starts noticing she gets more invites and definitely gets coincidentally squished as close as possible to Cassiel.

Grace Lowery, you really are a force of nature.

Abaddon steals a Gryffindor tie and a Hufflepuff tie so she can sit at their tables whenever she so pleases.

Yes, both Cassiel and Grace have to buy new ties.

year four.She joins the quidditch team and is one hell of a chaser. Something about being unpredictable in nature makes the whole predicting and saving her shots really quite difficult.

Cassiel joins the Gryffindor quidditch team as a keeper and she preens, because it’s inconceivable that the decision wasn’t influenced by her. (It really isn’t, but her ego is big enough to ignore that.)

—

Grace holds up Slytherin banners at her games, so Isaiah gets roped into doing it too.

—

“Hey there darling,” she greets, doing loop-de-loops near Cassiel’s goalposts.

“Abaddon,” comes the terse greeting.

“You’re looking good in your quidditch jersey,” she remarks off-handedly.

Cassiel doesn’t deem her with a response.

“Yeah,” she says, grinning, catching a nice pass. “You look like a real keeper.”

The line is so bad she scores off of it, and Cassiel’s glare promises a thousand retributions.

—

It’s always pretty even between them: Cassiel blocks just as many shots as Abaddon makes.

Evenly matched. Perfectly opposed.

She doesn’t know what else she expects.

year five.She takes up commentating on the matches she doesn’t play in. Professor Thornton probably laughs over and regrets it in equal measure. (In private, of course.)

Well, she’s quite good at commentating Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw.

Any matches Gryffindor plays in is a different story.

—

“Hogwarts,” she greets merrily. “What a beautiful day today! Incomparable to Gryffindor keeper, Cassiel, of course, but it really is lovely today,” she says, and Professor Thornton arches a brow at her in silent warning.

“Anyway, today’s match is Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw — and those blue chasers are something mean, which means Donny is benched. Allstars only, today, Donny boy, sorry. Plus, it’s downright criminal to bench Cassiel’s ass - I mean, it is top shelf.”

A pointed throat clearing gets her back on track.

“We’re off, and Gryffindor chasers lose possession immediately… nice going, Gabriel,” she says, receiving a pointed middle finger from said chaser.

“Sinclair to whoever that is,” she continues. “Streaking down the field… and a magnificent save from an equally excellent keeper. Sorry girls, only I score with — score against — them.

“Have I mentioned how excellent they look in their quidditch reds today? I’m of the opinion those jerseys would look better at the foot of my b-“

“Abaddon.”

“But that’s just me. Play continues with Gryffindor chaser Gabriel making a shot… for once. Surprising. Someone check the sky and tell me if pigs are flying. Actually, I can see for myself, and holy shit, they are. Wait, no, sorry, that’s still Gryffindor chaser Gabe. An honest mistake, Professor Thornton. Promise.”

—

She sneaks her way into Gryffindor’s celebration party afterward, studiously avoiding Gabriel while mixing dangerously colorful drinks all night.

—

People snicker at the oversized red robe she has on the next morning, but she’s too busy nursing a hangover to care. She groans when Cassiel dumps a green one in her lap unceremoniously.

year six.Whoever thought that she should be made a prefect should probably be fired. Or really, promoted, in her opinion.

She laughs so hard she cries when she sees the shiny prefect badge Cassiel bears.

So maybe she messes with the patrol schedules a little, but in her defense, she pleads preemptive self-defense, because she’s 90% sure that Cassiel is the only one who can last through patrols with her without actually hexing her.

Turns out, the patrols they end up on together are a little less productive than they should be.

They get locked into a classroom by Peeves, and no matter how many unlocking charms Cassiel casts, it’s no use. (She wonders if Grace bribed him.)

She, instead of helping, lines up a bunch of desks and lies across them and slings an arm over her eyes.

She can’t actually see what they’re doing, but it’s her personal opinion that they’re probably glaring over at her.

“What?” She asks after an extended silence. “I’m tired.”

“Then sleep.”

“Different type of tired. I’ve been chasing this whole time, Cassie. It’s your turn to think of some fun quips and interesting mischief to get ourselves in.”

“We’re locked in this room.”

“Improvise.”

There’s scraping along the floor and she peeks over curiously. Cassiel lines up some desks and lies there as well.

“Are… you sleeping?”

“I have a test tomorrow.”

She sighs. “We have a whole classroom to ourselves. No one can come in or out.There are so many more interesting things we could be doing right now, honestly.”

“Buy me dinner first, and we’ll see.”

She chokes.

“How’s that for witty quips? I’m going to sleep; don’t talk anymore.”

Abaddon agrees meekly.

—

Professor Thornton is, understandably, not amused to see them in sleeping in her classroom in the morning.

Abaddon leaves like a million cat pictures pilfered from Umbridge in her office later and hopes Professor Thornton gets a kick out of burning them, at least.

year seven.In the last quidditch match of the year, Gabriel gets a particularly vindictive knock on her mid air, and she can see Cassiel taking a nosedive on their broom as she falls. She passes out, but not before seeing them leaning over her, concerned and saying things she can’t make out.

She wakes in the hospital wing, and knows things are broken and still healing, but she storms out in her anger anyway, making her way to the astronomy tower, huffy and violently angry. There are a motley of bruises on her back and her shoulders ache, and every breath she takes only serves to make her angrier.

A fuss is kicked up once the nurse realizes she’s not in the infirmary, and it’s Cassiel that finds her, because of course it is.

She snaps at them when she hears their footsteps in the entrance of the tower. “Get the fuck out of here,” she says, back turned to them.

They settle next to her, instead.

She shoves back at them, ribs and back flaring up in agony when she does. “Why are you still here? Who says I want you here?”

Cassiel doesn’t say anything, but she can see their jaw clench.

“Oh,” she says coldly, laughing cruelly. “Don’t tell me you actually thought there was anything worthwhile between us. Sure, I had fun, but let’s not kid ourselves here,” she hisses, eyes narrowing, tone and words saying leave but every fiber of her being hoping they’ll stay. She can feel their anger at those words, and she shoves at them again because she knows she can’t actually keep them — and figures it’ll hurt less to just make them leave first. Seven years down the drain, but it’s not like they’ll keep contact after they stop being required to, right?

Cassiel punches her.

She instinctively cries out in pain and bites into her tongue, cutting it short, before grinning crazily, bloodily, over at them. “There it is. Finally had enough, right? Stop fucking holding back. Everyone leaves, so just leave now before you actually make me think you’ll stay,” she says weakly as her vision swims.

—

She wakes up in the hospital wing again.

Cassiel is standing guard this time, probably to insure she doesn’t leave her bed again.

“Why are you still here?” She asks, practically begging.

“Does there need to be a reason?”

“Yes,” she breathes. “I’m awful. I’m the worst. Everyone tells me this at least once a day. So why-”

“Yes,” Cassiel cuts across her. “You are something awful, but I’m staying anyway. It’s been seven years; when will you realize I’m not leaving?”

“I hate it when people make promises.”

“It’s not a promise.”

“Then what is it?”

“Just a fact.”

“Our seven years at Hogwarts are gonna be over soon,” she says tentatively, finally getting to the root of the problem.

“Improvise, then,” they shoot back.